


Kindred Magic

by Ralina, StephanieMRV



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angry Sex, Character Death, F/M, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Not Underage, Romance, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:47:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 95
Words: 291,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25074118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ralina/pseuds/Ralina, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StephanieMRV/pseuds/StephanieMRV
Summary: When Hermione gets wounded at the Department of Mysteries, Severus suddenly starts feeling a strange pull towards the wounded witch. He never cared for anybody, so why does he suddenly care about her?
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 1955
Kudos: 1402
Collections: Hearts and Cauldrons Discord Members, Pensieve





	1. Totally unacceptable

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys. Well, I started a thing. This story here is my attempt of writing a Hermione/Severus romance but I need to be honest with you: I have no idea if this is going to work, as I have never written this pairing before. So please don’t be mad if this isn’t what you are used to from other stories containing these two.  
> I seriously don't know how long this is going to get. I don't plan on letting it get too long, but it might happen that my ideas run away with me again and we end up with 80 chapters as it happened with my last story. ;-) You never know.

Severus stared at the motionless girl in front of him with a contemplative expression. Her small, unconscious body was covered with a white hospital sheet, hiding the big, white dressing around her chest from sight. It wasn't the first time that Hermione Granger followed her self-centred friend Potter into danger and not even the first time she almost got herself killed. Never before had he felt the need to visit the girl on her sickbed; he did not take an interest in people or worry about them. That wasn't who Severus Snape was. He had stopped caring long ago, when he held Lily's dead body in his arms and the pain and the guilt almost ripped him apart. It was the day he even stopped caring about his own godson. He still pretended to care and spoiled the brat to not draw unnecessary attention to the fact that he was hollow inside and could not be arsed to care if the boy won his next Quidditch match or failed all of his exams. Not even when the idiot had gotten himself bitten by a fucking Hippogriff did Severus feel the need to coddle or, god forbid, visit him in the hospital wing. So why was he here today? Why did he care?

Severus was not sure. It all started with Potter and his band of trouble-makers being caught by Umbridge and her chosen guard dogs, mostly consisting of his Slytherins. Potter had begged him for help then, mumbling some disconcerting stuff about his godfather being tortured. It was ridiculous, of course, which made him leave those teenagers with Umbridge in the hope that they wouldn't get in any more trouble. He should have known better. It was two hours later when the feeling of desperation and fear gripped his chest, urging him to do something, to help. It came out of the blue, with no evident reason and still, he knew in his guts that something was wrong. That's when he started to rally the troops and sent the Order to search for those stupid kids, hoping that they wouldn't be too late.

He could not accompany them, of course, as he needed to uphold his position as Dumbledore's spy, which meant that he could not be seen duelling his Death Eater comrades. Usually, he would not have minded, but today he could barely sit still and paced his chambers in nervous agitation. What was  _ wrong _ with him? 

He did not know, but the feeling of desperation grew until he suddenly experienced an excruciating pain in his chest that almost knocked him from his feet. It was gone a moment later, being substituted by despair and the fear of losing something,  _ someone _ . But that did not make any sense, did it? There was no one he particularly cared about these days. 

Still, he found himself at her bedside now, following a strange pull in his chest that brought him here. Why was he here? He did not even particularly like that bushy-haired witch. Still, he could not deny the fact that the feeling of urgency and restlessness subdued as soon as he had seated himself next to her bed and had Poppy explain her injuries to him. She was not mortally wounded, thank god, but the curse she had caught herself was still a painful and complicated one. This girl would experience a lot of pain in the next few days - probably weeks - and would require extensive treatment and specialized potions, which would make a hospitalization at St Mungo's very much advisable for her. But the thought of not being able to monitor her recovery, of not being able to see her, made him feel miserable beyond belief. And there was no explicable reason for that sort of  _ attachment _ . 

He pushed himself up from his chair with a growl, very much intending to let the girl rest in peace. But the sound of the chair scraping across the floor must have been enough to wake and alert the girl on the bed. She opened her eyes a moment later, blinking rapidly before she looked at him in confusion.

"Professor Snape," she mumbled groggily and stared at him as if she could not comprehend why he was here. But there really was no appropriate reason, at least none that he could tell her about. For fuck's sake!

“Miss Granger,” he greeted her neutrally. “It was brought to my attention that you’ve been hit with a dark curse. How are you feeling?” 

She looked at him with a grimace. "Like I was run over by a bus," she admitted and closed her eyes for a moment. "But I guess I am lucky to still be alive. How are the others? Is anyone…"

She could not say it, but he knew what she meant and so he helpfully supplied: “Dead?”

Miss Granger nodded anxiously, making him suppress the urge to roll his eyes at her naiveté. “Sirius Black is the only casualty, as far as I am aware. Your… friends will be fine and so will you. But you will be confined to the hospital wing for quite some time, I am afraid.”

The girl nodded grimly but did not respond.

And so he continued: "That is if you decide to stay at Hogwarts and forgo being treated at St Mungo's. In this case, I would supply you with the necessary potions for your recovery."

It was the most he had ever talked to the girl, he realized, as he usually cut her ramblings off as soon as possible. 

Miss Granger looked at him with a considerate look. “I’d rather stay here,” she said after a while. “There are still some days left until the holidays start and I’d rather stay close to my friends.”

_ Of course _ , he thought with an internal sneer. Her  _ friends _ . He should have known that this stupid girl would cling to them, and especially Potter, even after the boy had almost gotten her killed. He could only shake his head at her stupidity. 

But he did not say anything that could agitate her and schooled his face in an expressionless mask. “Of course,” he replied with a curt nod. “I will inform Madam Pomfrey of your decision. Try to sleep now. I’ll deliver your potions in the morning.”

He did not wait for her reaction and turned around, before walking out of the room, his robes billowing behind him. Her staying at Hogwarts would mean that she would spend the first days of summer break at the castle. He would be required to stay behind as well.

Severus thought he should be pissed at the prospect of additional brewing work, but instead, he felt tempted to smile. He crushed the urge down mercilessly, while he hastily strode through the castle towards his rooms. He really had to get a grip on himself, soon, because this situation was totally unacceptable as it was.

Sssssss

When Hermione awoke the next time her head was thrumming and her mouth felt dry. She didn’t know how long she had been out, but it seemed to be the middle of the day now. 

“Good morning, my Dear,” the friendly voice of Madam Pomfrey greeted her, as soon as she had pulled herself up in bed, her ribs heavily protesting against the movement. Merlin, this curse really was a nasty one. “I have your breakfast here and some potions Professor Snape left for you. He told me you’d prefer to stay at the castle for the time of your recovery?”

Hermione nodded and attempted to smile. But it probably came out more like a grimace. “If it isn’t too much of an inconvenience?”

“Not for me, Dear, as the castle is my home and I rarely leave it these days. Professor Snape usually leaves it over summer break, but he has agreed to prolong his stay until you are recovered.”

She guessed she could consider herself lucky then, that the Professor had agreed to stay behind. He could as well have refused and sent her to St Mungo's, right? No one would have begrudged him the decision to enjoy his summer away from Hogwarts.

Madame Pomfreycast her a motherly smile and placed a tray in front of her on the bed. "Eat as much as you can, Miss Granger. Your body will need the energy to fight the curse. As soon as you are finished we will change your dressing and then it is time for you to take those potions."

Hermione agreed with a nod and looked at the food in front of her with a sigh. She wasn't hungry at all. But Madame Pomfreywas right, she needed to eat in order to get better. And she did not want to spend more time than strictly necessary confined to the infirmary. Her parents would be worried enough as it was. Had Dumbledore already informed them? And if so, what had he told them?

It was almost half an hour later when Madam Pomfrey had her sit on the edge of the bed, peering down at her chest with a thoughtful expression. The curse had hit her side, right under her right breast and left an ugly, dark red mark that almost looked purple at times. Hermione looked at it with a resigned expression.

“Will the mark stay?” she asked and looked at the medi-witch with a worried expression. 

The elderly witch smiled. “A curse as dark as this one always leaves a mark behind, my Dear. The colour will fade in the next few days, I believe, but a scar will remain.”

Hermione sighed. Looked like she had gotten her first battle scar. She guessed it would not be the last one until this war was over and Voldemort was hopefully gone for good. Still, she really did not fancy having to explain to her parents how she had gained a scar of this size. Until now she had always avoided telling them about the dangerous adventures she, Harry, and Ron got into year by year. But  _ this _ would definitely raise a few questions - questions she was not ready to answer.

“Isn’t there a way to hide this? A long-lasting glamour maybe?” she asked the elderly witch hopefully.

Madam Pomfrey smiled kindly. “There is no reason for you to be ashamed of this,” she said, while she spelled the wound clean and covered her skin with a slick, greenish cream that somehow smelled of mint and disinfectant. It could have been worse, she guessed, but as soon as the stuff touched her tender skin, it left an uncomfortable, tingling feeling that made her want to wipe it off, right away. “Whoever is going to see this, one day, will not think any less of you because of a scar. And if he does, he is not worth your attention anyway.” 

For a moment Hermione could not follow her train of thought, but when it finally dawned on her what the older witch was saying, her cheeks flushed and she nodded. "I'm sure that won't be an issue for a while," she hastily assured the medi-witch with a smile. "There's no one I care about in  _ that _ way.”

Madam Pomfrey smiled knowingly while she carefully covered the wound with a new dressing. Hermione sighed inwardly. She couldn't tell her that this wasn't about some future boyfriend, that might or might not exist one day, but her own parents that she still tried to convince that the magical world was safe and just wonderful. If her parents knew half of the stuff that had happened to her over the years, they would probably have withdrawn her from Hogwarts long ago. But Hermione couldn't leave Hogwarts, couldn't leave her friends. It was the first time in her life that she had found people who did not see her as a nerd or a freak. Finally, she had found a place where she belonged and she'd rather face another Basilisk than let anybody take that away from her.

Ssssssss

It had taken all his self-control to stay away from the infirmary during the day and instead concentrate on his daily tasks. Now that the school year was over there wasn't much to do for him and therefore brewing the potions could have been a welcome distraction, except his mind simply would not be distracted. His mind unhelpfully pictured Miss Granger's tiny body in the white sheets, her forehead covered in sweat while she moaned in pain. It was the most annoying thing! The girl had gotten herself in trouble and now she was having to deal with the consequences, end of the story. Sooner or later Granger and her idiotic friends needed to learn to take responsibility for their actions and from all he had heard Potter had started to understand just that. Losing his idiotic godfather must have been a hard blow for him, his face looking drawn and his eyes haunted while he pushed around his food without eating a single bite at breakfast or lunch. Severus could not care less about the man's early demise, he and Black had never gotten on particularly well. Severus could not even find himself to care for Lily's son, even though he had tried to warm up to the boy. Severus had protected him from his own idiocy as best as he could, but he had done it more out of obligation and guilt towards his mother, never for the boy himself.

When dinner was over Severus first contemplated going back to his rooms, but soon he found his feet carrying him to the infirmary. It was like his body had suddenly discovered a will of his own, not caring in the slightest that his brain inwardly sneered at the ridiculousness of the situation. Severus Snape did not care about his students, or people in general, and he sure as hell did not visit a sick student in the infirmary! Except he did. 

The room was quiet when he entered it through the wooden door, Madam Pomfrey enjoying her evening sherry with Sybil Trelawney as she usually did at that time. Weasley and the other rule-breakers had thankfully been released too so that the Granger girl was the only occupant of the room right now. Good. Explaining his presence to her would be hard enough as it was.

At first, he thought she was asleep, as her body was lying motionless on the bed, but when he came closer he saw that her caramel brown eyes were open, staring at the ceiling, probably without seeing a thing. For a moment he considered just leaving the room silently again, but an instant tug in his chest made him discard this idea a second later. Seven hells, he really needed to get a grip, or things would start to get out of hand rather soon.

“Miss Granger,” he greeted her calmly and her reaction was immediate. Her eyes travelled towards him and studied him intensely for a moment.

“Professor Snape,” she replied and tried to pull herself up on the bed. She did not make it far though before her face contorted in pain and she sank into the mattress with a frustrated sigh. 

"You are still in pain," he stated calmly before carefully stepping closer. "Would you like me to… get you another pain-relieving potion?"

The girl blinked at him in surprise. He could not fault her for it. It was probably the nicest thing he had ever said to her.

"I… that would be very kind, thank you, Professor."

Severus looked at her silently for a long moment, before he got up and got her the promised potion. She drowned it greedily and he could time the exact moment when it took effect, as her features relaxed with a sigh of relief.

"I will adjust your potions for tomorrow, accordingly," he said before he registered what he had just so generously promised to her.  _ Why _ did he just say that? It did not matter though, as she had obviously heard and looked at him with a grateful smile.

"Thank you, Sir. I am very grateful for everything you are doing for me. I know you aren't in any way obliged to. I really appreciate it."

Severus looked at her speechlessly, her words making him suddenly feel strange - almost  _ happy _ . It did not make sense at all. 

“It’s nothing,” he said dismissively, suddenly eager to leave the room. “Do you need anything else? If not I will retreat to my chambers for the night.”

"No, I'm fine, Sir. Thank you for visiting me and good night."

For a brief moment, their eyes met and to his astonishment, he saw the girl smile a moment later. There it was again, that  _ feeling _ in his chest which made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

"Good night," he replied briskly and turned on the spot, hastily walking out of the room. Whatever it was that was happening here, was  _ not _ normal and more importantly: it did not make any sense. Luckily Severus Snape was, next to the Dark Lord, the best Occlumens known to the wizarding world. Whatever those feelings were, he would lock them up in a safe place and toss the key away, figuratively speaking. Severus Snape would not be manipulated by feelings again, no matter for whom and where they came from. This chapter of his life was long closed and he would not succumb to that weakness again. 


	2. Staying away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! You have blown me away with your support and your interest in this story. I really hope I won't disappoint you. For everyone who hasn't read my stories before: I am not a native speaker, so there might be strange mistakes for time to time. I hope you don't mind. Usually, I am a very fast writer, which means that there are often several updates a week. I hope to also keep that up for this story. We will see.
> 
> Btw, I have found a brilliant beta for this story. We are slowly working our way through all the “old” chapters now. Thank you for helping me, Justsare.

It took almost one more day for Harry to come to visit her. Her friend’s face looked drawn, tired, and his eyes were so full of grief, that Hermione's heart clenched in sympathy for him. She had not known Sirius well and therefore his death did not affect her in the same way as it did Harry. To Harry, Sirius had been the only family he had left; to her he was only a damaged, reckless shell of a man. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to come visiting," Harry apologized and put a box of chocolate frogs on her nightstand. "It is my fault that you're in pain, that you got hurt, Hermione. It's just, I felt like I did not have the energy to face you yesterday. You told me that we could possibly run into a trap and…"

"And you thought I'd rub it under your nose, that you didn't want to listen," Hermione finished for him and looked at him with a sigh. "Oh Harry, I'd never have been so cruel after…" she took a deep breath "after you've just lost Sirius."

Harry looked at her with a guilty expression. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I didn’t think.”

“It’s alright,” Hermione replied with a sad smile.

Harry looked back at her with a hesitant expression. “How are you, Hermione? Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t tell me much, just that you'll have to stay in the infirmary for a while longer. You're not going to be on the Hogwarts Express tomorrow, are you?"

She shook her head sadly. “No, it will probably be a few more days until I can go home. I... could you do me a favour, Harry?”

Her friend’s green eyes focussed on her instantly. " 'Course Hermione. What is it? What do you need?”

She shyly gnawed at her bottom lip. "I wrote a letter to my parents, where I explained why I would not be able to come home tomorrow. Could you post it for me? I can't go to the owlery myself and I'd rather not ask a teacher."

" 'Course I'll post it for you. I'll give it to Hedwig right away. Do you think your parents will be mad because of what we did?" Harry asked, his gaze unsure.

Hermione shrugged. "I didn't tell them, to be honest. I just wrote that I got hurt while practising some spell for next year because I wanted to work ahead after finishing my exams." She smiled ruefully. "They'd take me out of school if they knew half of the stuff we got ourselves into."

Harry looked at her inquiringly. “You haven’t told them anything, have you?”

"Not much, no. I know I probably should, especially as this situation seems to get worse and worse. But what am I supposed to tell them? That they better leave the country because there's an evil, dark wizard who will probably start coming after Muggles and muggle-borns? They would most likely believe me, but if they did, they would never let me return to Hogwarts."

Her friend nodded. “I’m not saying I want you to leave, Hermione, but what  _ will _ you do if things keep getting worse? You can’t lie to them forever, can you?”

"I know," she admitted with a sad expression. "It's just... I don't want to leave this school. I'm almost sure I wouldn't be able to convince them to let me stay, which is why I keep putting off this discussion. It's not very Gryffindor-like, is it?"

Harry nodded with a grin. “Probably not. But I get it, I really do. Hogwarts is the place where I finally feel at home. I’d never let somebody take that away from me.”

Hermione nodded. At least Harry understood. It made her feel a bit better about the fact that she was lying to her parents,  _ again _ . She knew she'd probably have to tell them one day. But that would have to wait until she was of age because she did not plan on leaving the country, and therefore her friends, behind. And come next September nobody would be able to force her to.

Ssssssss

The day was dragging on endlessly and Severus felt himself being annoyed by the smallest of things. The later it got, the darker became his mood and when he found a pair of Ravenclaws snogging in a hidden alcove on the third floor, he took 30 points from each of them, making the fourth years break out into tears. Severus did not care, just watched them skitter away with a dark expression before he continued roaming through the castle. Several times he caught himself suddenly walking in the direction of the infirmary, but every time he became aware of what he was doing, he turned around sharply and hastily marched away.

When it was finally time for him to sink into bed, he tried strengthening his Occlumency shields. But even though the mental exercise made him sweat and gave him a headache, it did not help against the growing hollowness and longing in his chest. It was like these feelings were not simply a mental problem and could not be shooed away with mental discipline. But that was impossible. There was always a way to control one's feelings, he had done it for years!

Around 3 a.m. he gave up to try falling asleep, as sleep simply refused to come to him. Even though he had his thoughts tightly under control and his head was decisively empty, which meant that he did  _ not _ think about the girl, his chest felt tighter and tighter and the desire to just leave his room got unbelievably strong. This was not possible, this couldn't  _ be _ possible. What kind of foul magic was this?

With an annoyed huff, he threw his heavy blanket aside and slipped into a heavy black robe. A muttered disillusion spell later he left his private chambers and slowly walked through the empty corridors. At this time of the night hardly anyone was out of bed, he knew, as this was usually the time he returned from his monthly Death Eater meetings. Still, he needed to be careful. Whatever kind of madness had befallen him was his business and his alone. Had the Granger girl bewitched him? Given him some sort of potion maybe? He’d test those theories first thing in the morning - or better, as soon as he returned from the infirmary, hopefully feeling more calm and collected. Why hadn’t he thought of diagnosing himself right away? It was probably a sign of the severity of the strange madness that had suddenly befallen him. 

Severus passed the door to the infirmary about ten minutes later. The room was coated in darkness, but luckily his eyes were exceptional and he did not need light to move around the room. He also cast a silencing charm on himself, as the last thing he wanted was to alert the sleeping girl on the bed. She would probably have a heart attack, if she realized her Potions Professor secretly visited her sickbed at night, standing next to her to simply stare at her in silence. It was more than a bit creepy, now that he considered it. Fuck!

She looked peaceful in her sleep and there were no signs of pain on her face. Good. Obviously, the changes he had made to her potions had the desired effect. The thought that his efforts had made the girl feel better, made a feeling of satisfaction bloom in his chest. Suddenly he thought that he had made the right choice staying behind at Hogwarts for her. It wasn't like anything pleasant awaited him at Spinner's End anyway.

He would allow himself the satisfaction this strange spell brought, even if it was just for a few moments, Severus decided. There was no harm in just watching the girl for a bit, right? She wouldn't even know he had been here and he did not plan on repeating this creepy performance anytime soon. For now, he just wanted to feel better and finally be able to  _ sleep _ . 

He carefully took two more steps towards her and, making a quick decision, he transfigured a chair for himself and sat down. He was close enough to her to see her chest rising as she breathed in her sleep and when he concentrated, he could smell something like peaches and coconut, probably the girl's hair products, now that he thought about it. It wasn't a bad scent, he thought, even though he had never wanted to smell like something to eat himself. The idea was somewhat ridiculous. Still, he found that breathing in her scent calmed him down to some extent and it wasn't long until the pressure on his chest seemed to lessen again. He'd sit here just for a few moments longer, Severus told himself and without realizing it, his eyelids dropped, once, twice, and finally they stayed closed. It wasn't long until his body sagged forward and he bedded his head on her mattress, close enough that the scent of coconut and peaches lulled him into a peaceful if somewhat uncomfortable sleep.

It was almost two hours later when Severus awoke with a gasp, finding his head on Miss Granger's bed, his nose suspiciously close to the girl's unruly brown mane. One of his hands had even wandered towards the girls head, carefully holding a strand of her hair. He let go of it, as if it had suddenly burned him. Severus cursed inwardly. His disillusionment had long faded, his body not being able to feed magic to the spell while he was asleep. He was clearly visible, for everyone walking into the infirmary as the morning light already fell through the large windows, shining on his dark form that stood out in stark contrast to the white bedding in front of him. Seven hells! How was it possible for him to let his guard down enough to suddenly fall asleep in the most inconvenient place? What if somebody had seen him like that? Poppy or Dumbledore would have been one thing, still annoying and probably pressing him for answers he was not willing to give, but what if a Slytherin had seen him like that and decided to report his strange behaviour to the Dark Lord?

Severus hastily cast a silent disillusionment over himself and carefully rose from his chair. When he turned around, he realized that the movement must have woken the girl, as her eyes suddenly blinked open and looked around the room in confusion. Only seconds later they came to rest on the lonely chair that was still standing close to her bed and she stared at it with furrowed brows and a contemplative expression. It was obvious that she was trying to solve a puzzle for which she was lacking the necessary pieces. He saw her hand rake through her hair with a sigh before she tried to pull herself up on the bed. Again she was forced to give up the attempt with a pained expression on her face. Severus stood there, only metres away and watched the girl with a fascinated expression, his heart hammering agitatedly in his chest. A single  _ Finite Incatatem _ cast by her would be enough to reveal his presence and bring him into a very uncomfortable situation he would not be able to explain. He could only pray that it would not come to that.

The next minutes felt like the longest in his life. Standing motionless next to the girl's bed, forced to watch her slowly fall back asleep again, was terrifying and exciting at the same time. At first, he could still see her eyes flicker searchingly through the room from time to time, but as they did not find anything suspicious after a few attempts, Miss Granger must have decided that her mysterious guest must have been long gone. He had counted to 451 when her eyelids slowly started to drop again and to 739 when her breath started to even out, indicating that the girl had fallen back asleep again. He forced himself to wait another five minutes until he dared to move again and silently crept out of the room. Only when he closed the door behind him without making a single sound, did allow himself to sigh in relief before his steps sped up and he hurried towards his own quarters. It was about time that he uncovered this strange curse that had befallen him and found a way to break it, because otherwise he was fucked.

Ssssssss

When Hermione woke up in the morning, she felt rested and strangely good-humoured, considering that she was still not able to get up from her bed without assistance. It was like the pressure that had lasted on her chest had lessened during the night, indicating that her wound was slowly starting to heal. Thank Merlin. That strange feeling had gotten worse and worse over the day and had been almost unbearable in the evening, making her almost believe that the potions Professor Snape so graciously provided did not have the desired effect. This morning though the strange ache in her chest was gone, while her curse wound, on the other hand, had started to sting and pucker again. It was the strangest thing. Why was the one pain gone only to make room for another one? Did this mean something with her medication was wrong? She'd ask Madame Pomfrey about it when she saw her the next time.

And then there was the strange, nightly visitor she had had last night. She wasn’t even sure there had been somebody there, but why would there have been a chair next to her bed otherwise? Who was it that had visited her at night, unwilling to wake her or alert her of his presence? Professor Dumbledore? Harry? Hermione wasn’t sure but there weren’t many other options she could think of. 

Whoever it was, Hermione hoped he would come back in the morning, as they had not been able to talk during the night. Maybe Harry had already gotten an answer from her parents? No, she guessed he would just have left it on the nightstand for her if this was the case. So, if it wasn't Harry then it probably was a teacher. Who else would visit her after curfew? It wasn't like she had many friends in the castle, to begin with. Could it have been Professor Snape? He was the only teacher that had visited her at the infirmary so far and he had been surprisingly kind while doing so. Could it have been him? Hermione found herself strangely liking the idea. She felt like she could trust him in a strange way she could not explain. The Professor had always protected her, even though they had barely realized he had been doing so. It was thanks to him that the Order arrived at the Ministry and got them out and he was the one brewing and modifying the potions that slowly helped her to get better. Maybe Professor Snape wasn’t half as bad as he let them believe? He  _ was _ a spy for the Order, risking his life every time he went to one of those Death Eater meetings and did... whatever it was they were doing. He was probably not doing it out of pure charity, but whatever reasons he had, it made the man firmly stand on their side, no matter what he outwardly let his Slytherins believe. 

Harry and Ron came to say their goodbyes in the morning. Harry handed her a crisp white envelope as soon as he reached her bed, which could only have come from her parents. Hermione would read it later when everybody was gone. Right now she wanted to enjoy the last minutes she had with her friends before they disappeared into their summer holidays and she wouldn't be able to see them for weeks. Usually, Hermione was fine with that. She enjoyed spending her holidays with her parents as they always travelled and made the most of the time they had together. But this time she did not like the idea of leaving Hogwarts at all. Was it because she feared her parents would not let her return? Hermione didn't know but the thought of having to leave the castle in a few days made her strangely nauseous.


	3. Cursed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys. I'm glad for everyone who joined me on this journey and I hope you're enjoying this chapter. Tell me if you did!
> 
> This chapter was betaed by my friend Justsare. You rock, girl!

Severus banged the door to his quarters shut and immediately started casting diagnostic spells on himself. Potions, curses, jinxes, he checked for everything but no matter what he tried, he ended without a satisfying result. Everything came back clear, indicating that he had neither been slipped a potion nor been cursed. It was  _ impossible,  _ it didn’t _ make sense _ . Everything hinted towards the fact that his sudden change of feelings was a natural occurrence, no matter how crazy or unlikely that sounded. But if it was really a natural thing, then this implied that those feelings would not go away anytime soon, and this realization terrified him more than he could say. 

He was not one of  _ those _ teachers, stalking young girls and lusting after them. The thought alone disgusted him. Still, he had found himself sleeping on Miss Granger's bed mere hours ago, sniffing her out like some sort of  _ animal _ . Merlin! He could not let this go on, whatever this was, not under any circumstances. As a teacher of this school, it was his duty to protect the girl, even from himself, as it seemed. He would not go and see her again, no matter if he could not sleep or those feelings threatened to rip him apart. Until a few days ago he had fared quite well without one Hermione Granger, thank you very much, so whatever his body tried to make him believe, Severus was sure he would be just fine. He would just send the girl's potions via house-elf for now and travel to Spinner's End after the school had closed and those brats had used the Hogwarts Express to finally travel home. Maybe distance would break that strange spell and finally let him return to normality once more.

Spinner's End was cold and dusty when he stepped inside a few hours later. He had never been overly fond of the place, which was the reason why he never saw the need to invest much time or money into his parents’ house. But he also could not bring himself to sell it, as he still needed a place to stay for the holidays and he always liked the idea that Spinner's End would keep reminding him where he came from. Severus Snape was not a Pureblood, even though most students probably assumed he was, as he was Head of the House Slytherin by now. No, his father Tobias Snape was a bastard, a muggle and a drunkard and luckily dead for many years. His hate for the man was one reason why Severus joined the Dark Lord's forces many years ago and no matter how much he regretted the decision later, this house reminded him of what had been his reason for it. It reminded Severus of his miserable childhood, his mother who never dared to show any affection toward him, and of Lily, because the place where he had once met the red-haired witch was only a few miles away. He still visited it from time to time, sat below the large willow tree and stared into the water. Once in a while, he let his thoughts drift back to her and the only happy moments he had experienced in his life. He had spent all of them with her.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to visit this place today. Maybe his memory of Lily could help him to overcome whatever madness had befallen him? It was a long shot but by now he had slowly started to run out of ideas. 

With a sigh, he dropped his travelling case and changed into his standard muggle clothes. He would use the chance to take a walk and see what had changed in his neighbourhood. Maybe the fresh air would help him to clear his head. If not it would still be a chance for him to exercise his body for a bit, now that the stairs of Hogwarts, which he climbed during his daily patrols, were out of reach for the next few weeks.

It didn't take him long to get out of the house, his wand carefully tucked away in the back of his jeans, hidden under the T-shirt he now wore. He did not expect to get into any trouble here and if he was, he would be able to defend himself without magic. Growing up in a rough neighbourhood taught you a thing or two. But he never knew what surprises waited for him; having agreed to serve two different masters made his life pretty hard to plan.

Cokeworth hadn't changed much over the years. No one had enough money to build or renovate a house these days and if anything the neighbourhood had gotten even poorer than it used to be. The streets were mostly empty of people, garbage and stray cats being what he most encountered on his way to the river. He knew the way by heart, would have probably been able to walk it with his eyes closed, but as it was he enjoyed reconnecting with his old hometown.

When the old willow finally came in sight his heart gave a small leap, like it expected to find his red-headed friend there. But Lily Evans was long gone, no matter how much he wished she was not. But fate did not give a fuck about Severus Snape’s wishes, this much was obvious by now.

“What am I going to do, Lily?" he mumbled, as he finally sat down on his usual spot and stared down at the river like he had done so many times before. "I'm not interested in some school girl, I’m not interested in  _ anyone but you _ . So why am I suddenly feeling like this? I don’t  _ want _ to feel like this, hope, misery... this is all suddenly so close together now. I’m suddenly  _ content _ when I'm close to her, I feel like it would be a good idea to spend more time with her. But that's ridiculous. She's my fucking student and apart from that she'd probably run away screaming if I invited her for tea." He stared at the water with a heavy sigh. The knowledge that he had silenced the area around him was reassuring him that this embarrassing monologue would not be overheard. He knew that there would be no answer from Lily, there never was, but usually talking to her still helped him to unburden his black soul. “But when I’m away from her I feel like I suddenly can’t  _ breathe _ . My chest just seems too tight, all of a sudden. It doesn’t make sense, Lily! You know me, you know who I am, what I have done. Until a few days ago I was pretty sure my heart was incapable of feeling anything positive or overly emotional. I have no right to feel these things after what I did to you and your family. But it’s like I can’t help it. I’ve tried, I swear I have. But whatever this is, it just won’t go away!”

The only answer he got was the chirping of birds, who had started to resettle in this area, now that the mills were no longer running and polluting the air. Fuck! He really was a mess, wasn't he? He could feel the ache in his chest slowly returning, distance seemingly not helping with whatever strange condition had befallen him. But he would not go back to the castle. He needed to finally get the upper hand in whatever strange battle he was fighting with himself. 

He was just about to pull himself up to his feet again when he suddenly heard the pop of a house-elf apparition to his right. Indeed, a Hogwarts house-elf was standing only a few feet away, looking at him with a scared expression.

“Headmaster Dumbledore is seeking your immediate help, Professor,” the little female squeaked and wrung her little hands. “He is badly hurt, Sir.”

Severus felt like cursing. What had the old man done now? It wasn’t even a day since the students left the castle. Had the man already gotten bored and gotten himself into trouble? 

"Take me to him then," Severus said with a sigh and took the little servant's arm. Not a second later they were gone.

Ssssssss

The others were only gone for half a day and Hermione already felt lonely. Harry and Ron had said their goodbyes in the morning and Ginny had even brought her two books from the library to help her against getting bored. But Hermione had almost read through the first one and felt hesitant to start the next, as there was no saying when she would be able to get up herself to check something out from the library. But that wasn't it. The strange feeling in her chest was back and slowly Hermione was no longer sure if it was really connected to the curse injury. The pain from her scar slowly started to get better, whereas the pressure on her chest seemed to get worse and worse over the day. In the evening it was bad enough that she could barely breathe any longer which scared her enough to call for Madame Pomfrey. But for some reason, the Mediwitch was not available and did not answer to her call, which unsettled Hermione even more. Did somebody get hurt? And what was wrong with her? Had she maybe gotten hit by another curse, one that so far hadn't been detected and was now slowly killing her?

Hermione didn't know and she hated not knowing. But for now, she could only wait for the Mediwitch's return. Hopefully, her chest would feel better by then, but somehow Hermione doubted it.

Ssssssss

"For fuck's sake Albus, this thing almost killed you," Severus muttered, wiping his sweaty forehead. "In fact, it is still killing you, only not right away."

That idiot! That arrogant old man! How could he have thought that slipping an old, cursed ring onto his finger had been a good idea? 

When Severus arrived at the man's office an hour ago, Dumbledore had already passed out on his desk, Madam Pomfrey furiously puttering about the man without any visible effect. The medi-witch was at her wits’ end and it was no wonder. She was specialised on students and everything those dunderheads got themselves into. But this was the darkest kind of magic. Luckily for the Headmaster, Severus had spent years of his life studying exactly that kind of thing.

He had been able to trap the curse within the man's blackened hand. It wouldn't stay there forever but slowly spread through the body until Albus' heart would slowly give out. He probably had a year, maybe longer, but his fate was still sealed. Severus told him exactly that after Poppy had rushed back to the infirmary because the  _ other patient _ , as Severus insisted on thinking of her, apparently had some kind of issue and had been calling for her. His Headmaster did not even seem overly worried over the news, though. He just thanked him with a kind smile.

“You’ve always been one of my brightest students, did you know that, Severus?” he said instead and looked at him through his half-moon-glasses. 

Severus stared back at him with a scowl. “No. And it’s not like my intelligence was of much use for you here. You’ll still die Albus, as I find myself unable to save you. I am sorry.”

“Don’t be, my boy,” the old man said and offered him one of his disgusting sweets. When would he finally learn that Severus despised them? “You have given me enough time to prepare for my imminent death. That is more than I deserve for my foolishness. This last year is a gift, my boy and I promise I will use it wisely.”

Severus’ lip twitched. “I will brew you something with the aim of keeping that curse at bay. It might also help with the pain and buy you some more time. But don’t get your hopes up. That curse is a nasty one. I’ve rarely seen anything comparable.”

Dumbledore nodded. “I thought that by destroying the stone on the ring I had broken the curse. Obviously, I was wrong and I’ll be paying the price now.”

Severus left the man's office shortly after helping him into his bed. The house-elves would take care of him from there on and Poppy would probably be back soon, too. Now that he had promised the old man another potion, staying at the castle would be unavoidable, at least for tonight. Luckily he would be busy enough to not be tempted to visit the girl again, no matter how bad the ache in his chest got. For now, it was still bearable, but things would probably get worse as the night progressed. It didn't matter. He needed to learn how to deal with this new situation because everything else was simply not an option. 

Ssssssss

“I can’t find anything wrong with you, Miss Granger,” Madam Pomfrey said, staring at her with a worried expression. She had taken off Hermione’s dressing again and carefully inspected Hermione’s chest. There was nothing to see and even the colouring of Hermione’s newly-gained scar had visibly improved. Everything hinted that everything was healing as it should, so where did this terrible ache suddenly come from? It didn’t feel like anything Hermione had experienced so far, not painful per se, more like a massive weight that settled on her chest and seemed to increase with every breath she took. Was she possibly experiencing some sort of heart attack? She had read her parents’ medical books and a heart attack was often described as the feeling like an elephant had just settled on somebody’s chest. And this was exactly how this felt. 

But no, Madame Pomfrey reassured her that her body was indeed fine and her heart was in perfect order. So why wasn’t she  _ feeling _ fine then? Maybe she should transfer to St Mungo’s in the hope that they would be able to find something? Or should she simply wait and hope that the pain was going away? No, it felt like she really needed to do something, she just didn't know what. Maybe going to the library could have soothed her panic and helped her find an answer, but as it was she was still confined to her bed and a sleeping draught was everything Madam Pomfrey would offer her for the night. 

Hermione sighed. She needed to trust the witch, she was the professional, after all. Still, if things hadn’t improved tomorrow, she would seek help somewhere else, even if that meant leaving Hogwarts behind.

Ssssssss

When Severus finally delivered Albus' potions it was again the middle of the night. He felt horrible again, his chest too tight to enable him to take a deep breath. But what was worse was that his need to visit the girl was strong enough to force him to walk towards the infirmary, his feet no longer listening to his commands to simply carry him back to his chambers. It felt like somebody had put him under the Imperius, except being controlled by that Unforgivable Curse felt pleasant. This, on the other hand, was not. Still, with every step he took into her direction, the urge to visit her grew, whereas the pain in his chest seemed to lessen somewhat. And so it was only minutes until he was back at her bed. The girl was asleep, but it wasn't a very peaceful one by the look of it. There was a bottle of dreamless sleep on her nightstand, but she still tossed and turned, while tiny pained moans and whimpers escaped her mouth. His chest contracted at the sight of it.

Something was wrong with her too, he realized and without realizing what he was doing at first, he stepped closer and carefully touched her sweaty forehead. Her temperature seemed to be fine, Severus noted and he already wanted to pull back his hand, when the girl made a relieved sigh before leaning into his touch. He froze. For a moment he feared he had woken her, but no, knocked out by the Dreamless Sleep the girl slept on and suddenly her body seemed to relax and seemed much more peaceful than before. It was impossible, he thought, but when he considered himself, he realized that he instantly felt better, too. The pressure on his chest was almost gone, substituted by something that almost felt like happiness. It was a long time since he had felt anything like it, but he remembered the feeling from his childhood. He should probably have been glad to be able to experience it again, but instead, he felt terrified and hastily snatched his hand away. What did he think he was doing here, touching a student for his own satisfaction? But was it really just him? Miss Granger's sleep did seem more peaceful now, as her moans and whimpers had stopped and she now lay still in her bed. The physical contact seemed to have helped her too, he realized, but that did not help to settle his nerves in the least. What if the girl felt the same desperation as he did? Did that mean they would be forced together by whatever condition had befallen them? Would he maybe even be forced to touch her again? No, there needed to be a solution to all of this. Luckily he knew a man that was currently in his debt. He could only pray that Albus Dumbledore would agree to help him once more. 


	4. Kindred Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Thank you for your ongoing support! It means the world to me. I am currently 8 chapters in, but writing has gotten a bit harder than I am used to. But I’ll muddle through and not let those two stubborn people discourage me from pairing them. ;-) This chapter will hopefully provide some answers for you ... and Severus.
> 
> This chapter was betaed by Justsare.

Severus waited until after breakfast before he decided to visit the Headmaster. Now that school was over he had eaten comfortably in his own chambers, lounging in his favourite armchair while browsing through the newest issue of "Moste Potente Potions", his favourite potions paper. He felt great, he realized, and there was no logical reason for him to. Dumbledore had been gravely wounded just yesterday and if he wasn't wrong, tonight or tomorrow the Dark Lord would call him and his other followers to celebrate the end of the term. And those celebrations usually meant that there were at least a few of them punished or rewarded. Severus found both options equally unappealing.

When Severus entered Dumbledore’s chambers, the man was already back at his desk and apart from his blackened hand, there was no sign of something being amiss. Severus knew the truth, of course, but he wasn’t even sure if Poppy was aware of the man’s condition, as she probably wouldn’t have so carelessly allowed him out of bed otherwise.

“You’re up,” he said instead of a greeting, looking at the old man with an almost accusatory expression. “You shouldn’t be.”

Albus smiled good-naturedly. "My old bones aren't made for lying in bed for an extended amount of time. Apart from that, I feel like I still have a lot to do, before I can leave this world without feeling like I failed you."

Severus nodded. He could relate to that. “Maybe I can help with this feeling, as I have come to seek your... help.”

Instantly Dumbledore's eyebrows rose in interest. "You have? Interesting. Apart from the one time so many years ago, you haven't asked for anything, my boy. You have always done as I told you, you never complained and never asked for anything in return; until now, which is why I find this discussion most intriguing." The man smiled at Severus, his blue eyes staring at him full of interest. "What can I do for you, my boy?"

For a moment Severus found himself frozen in place, as he suddenly felt like he was a schoolboy again, his heart thudding with nervousness. Merlin, how should he even begin to explain his sudden problem? For a moment his mind seemed to have gone blank while his throat felt unusually tight, which made him feel like he wouldn't even be able to get a single word out. But it was laughable, of course. He had served an evil megalomaniac for years, betrayed him and he was still alive. He could face Albus Dumbledore, too. “Something is wrong with me, Albus,” Severus finally admitted, looking at the old man desperately. “First I thought I was unwillingly given some sort of potion or had been cursed, but I checked and there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with me. But there  _ is _ .”

Albus stared at him, his blue eyes calm. “How do you come to that conclusion? Are you feeling unwell? Have you checked with Poppy?”

Severus waved him off with an annoyed grunt. “It’s complicated,” he said, trying to find the right words. “It is more like I have suddenly gotten emotionally attached, which I did  _ not _ . But for the last few days, I feel the constant need to be close to a certain person and if I stay away for an extended period of time, I start feeling... unwell." It was an understatement, but Severus didn't want to sound too dramatic.

"Is that so," Albus said, the spark of interest clearly visible in his eyes. "Tell me, Severus, does the malaise disappear if you are seeking out said person? How does it feel if you are close to him or her?”

The potions master sighed. “I feel... content, sometimes even happy. I know it doesn’t make sense as...”

The Headmaster silenced him with his hand. “Oh, it does. I’m assuming we are talking about a student, which is why you seem especially... agitated. Am I right?”

Severus stared at him with a dumbfounded expression. “I... how did you know?” he asked. When there was no answer for him, but Albus continued to look at him with raised brows, he sighed and said: “Yes, it’s a student. “

Albus strangely didn’t seem unsettled by his words, just nodded, like this confession was only another puzzle piece that fit his theory. He didn’t know if that fact unsettled or reassured him.

“Are you aware if said person displayed equal signs of unwellness if you are apart?” the Headmaster continued, and Severus looked at him with his lips pressed into a slim line.

“I haven’t spoken to her about this,” he admitted. “But from what I came to observe, it might very well be the case.”

Albus’ mouth twitched and for a moment he studied his former student, stroking his beard. “Well Severus, the good news is that you are not cursed or in any other way outwardly manipulated. What you experience is a very rare occurrence, also known under the term of Kindred Magic. Some people do also use the term of Kindred Spirits, which might be better known to you, but in my opinion, this term is highly overused and does not describe the situation very well."

“Kindred Magic,” Severus repeated tonelessly, without really understanding.

“Yes, my boy. There seems to be a person very similar to you, who a short while ago came of age. If I would have to make an educated guess this person found herself in a severe amount of danger a few days ago, which caused her magic to call out to the person it recognised as a mate.”

“A mate,” he echoed dully, only to find the Headmaster nodding affirmatively.

“You must admit that you and Miss Granger are similar in character; your shared thirst for knowledge only being one thing both of you have in common,” Dumbledore said, with a knowing smile.

Severus looked at him with wide eyes. “I never said it was her,” he defended himself and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “But more importantly, your theory has one major error: Miss Granger does not come of age until September.”

Dumbledore looked at him smugly and for a short moment, Severus felt the strong need to wipe that grin from the man's face. But he forced himself to remain as calm as possible. There was no use in losing his temper now. "Officially. But the official records do miss the fact that Miss Granger was in the possession of a Time-Turner for almost a full year."

"You gave her a Time-Turner," Severus said and stared at his conversation partner in shock.

Albus nodded. “I did. She is a very ambitious student, as you are very well aware. The poor girl could simply not decide which courses to choose for her third year, so she chose them all.”

Severus snorted. He simply could not help himself. Of course, the little Know-it-all had wanted to sit through every lesson that the school had to offer. "But that doesn't mean we are kindred spirits, Albus. Merlin, look at me. I am dark and snarky, not to forget a fucking Slytherin. We couldn’t be any more different if I  _ tried _ .”

“Really, Severus? I remember you well, as a student and since then, there has only been one girl methodically digging through the library as you did. But that is not everything, my boy. She is fiercely loyal to her friends and so are you. Granted, you don’t have many friends, but the one friend you made... Do I have to bring up more?” the man asked, looking at him with blue, inquiring eyes. 

Severus pinched his nose and took a deep breath. “There has to be another explanation, Albus. This cannot be it…” he mumbled, the desperation slowly creeping into his voice.

The headmaster smiled at him good-naturedly. “You spent an extensive amount of time studying the Dark Arts, Severus. I did the same, only with the opposite kind of magic. Many wizards smile about my inclination towards the magic of the light and that I firmly believe that love evokes the strongest kind of magic. But this is not the point here. The point is, that I have studied this branch of magic for many years and Kindred Magic  _ is _ the explanation for the condition you find yourself in, no matter if this is what you want to hear or not.”

“I don’t, Albus, I really don’t. Merlin, what do you expect me to do with this kind of information?” Severus asked, staring at the man in bewilderment. “I am old enough to be the girl’s father. I cannot simply…  _ mate _ her, I am not an animal!” The last words he had shouted towards the old man, leaping from his chair as he did. 

Dumbledore did not react to his outburst though, just stared at him calmly. “That is for you to decide, Severus. You don't have to do anything with it at all, of course. But I assume you'll at least not want the girl and yourself to suffer unnecessarily, which means that some contact would be required. It doesn't have to be physical contact, you see."

Severus looked at him with a contemplative expression. That could actually work. He could calculate the maximum amount of time that he could spend apart from the girl, without either of them feeling any form of discomfort. The girl wouldn't even have to know about this unfortunate connection between them, if he planned and executed things right. He'd been a spy for years, after all, able to trick even the Dark Lord. He could surely do it with one teenaged schoolgirl, too. "I'll find a way to do it," he finally grunted absently, his mind already planning out his first steps. He'd try finding some book on Kindred Magic, and starting a research diary was surely a good idea as well. He could use Miss Granger’s last days at the castle to get this study rolling and plan out his further interaction with the child.

"Very good," Albus replied with a satisfied nod. "You will find that strengthening that kind of connecting will have certain magical advantages. I wouldn't be surprised if you soon experience a rise of magical power, for example."

Severus nodded absentmindedly. Maybe there was also a way for him to quantify his magical power and add those numbers into his research diary, too? It would surely be an interesting factor for him to monitor.

“Would you like me to join your discussion with Miss Granger? I can imagine this is not your most anticipated conversation , but I could be there and answer the questions she will undoubtedly have,” the old man suddenly said and it took Severus a moment to understand the meaning of his words. But when he did, his head snapped up and he looked at the Headmaster intensely.

"I don't plan on informing Miss Granger of this unfortunate situation," he said decisively, and rose from his chair. "And neither will you, Albus. I don't want her to feel pressured or confused by the news and I don't fancy her chattering to Potter or her other friends about her being shackled to the bat of the dungeons." He pulled a face.

“Now, now, Severus,” Dumbledore tried to soothe him. “I think you are underestimating Miss Granger here. I am sure she could be persuaded to see the advantages of such a connection, especially once she realizes what great importance your newfound power gain could have for this war. She is a rational being as far as I know.”

Severus glared at him. “You are going to keep yourself out of this, Albus. I am warning you. There will be no meddling here. I am going to take care of this situation and I’m going to do it alone!”

With that, he rose from his chair and with a last warning gaze towards the meddlesome man he left his office with a huff. He’d have to keep an eye on Dumbledore, as the man could hardly resist sticking his long nose into things that were none of his fucking business. But he guessed the Headmaster had still given him some sort of good news. Severus was  _ not _ cursed and even though there didn’t seem to be any sort of healing on the horizon, this situation seemed somewhat manageable. He would go about this methodically, like when he was creating a new, dangerous potion. If he gave this new project his full attention, then he was sure he could come up with some sort of satisfying solution – he usually did.

Sssssssss

To Hermione's big surprise she felt fine when she awoke the next day. At some point during the night, her body must have calmed down, because whatever had bothered her yesterday was completely gone now. It was the first time in days Hermione actually felt like she would be able to leave the infirmary soon, at least for a few hours. Maybe she could ask Madame Pomfrey if she could go to the Library today, even if it was only for an hour. She longed to get out of this bed - or better, this room - even if it was just to stretch her legs or find somebody willing to talk to her. It probably sounded pathetic, but ever since she had been here, she felt a nagging loneliness inside her that made her realize how much she had already started to miss her friends. Was it too soon to write them a letter? Here, the school owls were still at her disposal and it was a shame not to make use of that, right?

Before she could come up with any sort of decision though, the doors to the infirmary opened and Professor Snape strode inside. He still wore his teaching robes, Hermione realized and his face was schooled into the usual unreadable mask. At least the sneer seemed to be absent from his features, probably due to the fact that he did not have to teach dim-witted students today, as he would surely say. Maybe she could persuade him to talk to her, at least for a bit?

“Professor Snape,” she greeted him happily and for a moment his eyes seemed to rest on her face.

"Miss Granger," he greeted her back, and for the tiniest of moments, she thought she saw a smile tug at his lips. But it was probably just her imagination. "How are you feeling this morning?"

“I’m feeling much better, Sir,” she said with a smile. “Yesterday I was feeling a bit under the weather, but your potions seem to have taken care of that, too. It’s brilliant!”

Her Professor blinked at her for a moment, before he nodded distractedly. “Is there anything else you need?”

Hermione thought for a moment. He’d probably sneer at her, but it was worth a shot. “I... I would like to get out of bed for a bit, Sir. Do you think it would be possible to make a short trip to the library? I really do feel a lot better, Sir. Maybe you could ask a house-elf to keep an eye on me, in case I faint in the corridors or something like that. Do you think that would be possible, Sir?”

To her surprise he did not mock her, just looked at her with a neutral expression. Somehow her Professor had seemed different these last days, less hostile than he used to be in class. Was it because there were no Slytherins around that forced him to pretend to hate all Gryffindors? Probably.

“I will accompany you,” Professor Snape suddenly said, making her stare at him in astonishment. “Madam Pomfrey will not be happy if you overexert yourself and I’m pretty sure she wants your health as closely monitored as possible. Would me accompanying you be acceptable for you?”

At first, she was too stunned to reply, which probably meant she was gaping at him like a fish. Finally, she caught herself beaming at him, full of gratitude. "This would be absolutely fantastic, Sir. But I don't want to be a bother or..."

“You are not,” he interrupted her, making a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Do you need help with getting up? Or will you manage?”

"I'm sure I'll be fine, Sir," she said hastily and pushed her blanket aside. A moment later she already swung her legs out of bed and got up. There was no dizziness or any other sort of discomfort, she realized with satisfaction. Indeed, she felt more energized than she had in days. Professor Snape really was a master of potions, she realized, and right now it looked like he could even be more collegial than he let anybody believe. Hermione was almost looking forward to spending time with him, even though it was probably just a matter of time until he sneered at her again. But she would take any amount of sneering if it got her out of these rooms for a while and if she got to visit the library at the same time, that was even better!


	5. Doing it for science

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends. Here is the next chapter for you. I'm so curious what you'll think about it. Let me know. :-)
> 
> I have found a wonderful beta for this story. Her name is Justsare. She’s a writer, too. Yay!

**_Time of exposure:_ ** _ 1 hour, 32 minutes, 5 seconds _

**_Physical interaction_ ** _ : none _

**_Observations:_ **

_ The test subject did not seem averse to spending time together, as she tried initiating an intellectually stimulating conversation three times during our encounter. I played along, satisfying her curiosity whenever I could, even though it was sometimes tedious for me to do so. Spending time with her isn’t too much of a sacrifice though, if she is mostly keeping quiet, which she thankfully did, most of the time. Furthermore, I recognized a particular fondness for Transfiguration and Charms, which can possibly be used to initiate further contact in the future.  _

Severus put his quill aside and read over his notes one more time. Now he only needed to measure the time until the effect of this last interaction wore off and he would have the first set of data for his analysis. He had to admit that it hadn't been too painful to spend time with the girl, especially as they were spending time in the library, which was totally free of any students who might have gawked at them. He followed her patiently through the rows of books and even offered to levitate her choice of books back to the infirmary for her. It earned him another pleased smile from her that made his heart beat agitatedly for exactly 112 seconds, another fact he noted down in his lab book. It wasn't affection, or heaven forbid attraction, of course, more some sort of weird physical reaction to their magic being in sync, or something like that. He'd use the next hours to go over the book he had managed to secretly check out of the library during their visit. It contained a whole chapter dedicated to Kindred Magic and even though it was over a hundred years old, it probably contained lots of valuable information. He would use his evening reading-time to take detailed notes of everything that seemed relevant to him and maybe he could even use the summer break to visit the magical section of the British National Library. If there was a place where he could find out more about his condition, then it was there.

Ssssssss

Going to the library had been a brilliant idea, Hermione decided, balancing the book on advanced Transfiguration on her knees while lounging on her hospital bed. The time outside of bed did not seem to have tired her out in the least, it was actually quite the contrary. When Professor Snape accompanied her back to the infirmary, she felt strangely refreshed and almost giddy with excitement, which was strange if one considered how horrible she had still felt yesterday at the same time. Her Professor was actuallymuch better company for her library visit than Harry or Ron had ever been. He did not stress her to hurry or started wiggling around impatiently behind her back. No, whenever Hermione found a section or a book she was particularly interested in, he started to browse the shelf himself and in the end, he checked out a few books too, the variety of topics surprising her. But was it really so surprising that her Potions Professor was interested in fields varying from his teaching position? As far as she had heard, he regularly applied for the position of the DADA teacher. Maybe she should try to be more open-minded when it came to Severus Snape. The man had surprised her more than once during the last few days, which made her realize that she barely even knew him. Wasn't that strange if one considered that the man had taught her for five years now? 

The day progressed fairly quickly while she browsed through the various books she had brought back from the library. Some of them were fairly interesting but as Madam Pomfrey forbade her to take notes or practise any spells, she put them aside fairly quickly. She couldn't wait to get out of bed again as there was only so much she could read before her feet got restless or her back started to hurt from lying around in bed for days. Merlin, she didn’t remember that it was so boring to stay at the infirmary, but the last time she had been there, her friends had been over to visit her as often as they could. But Harry, Ron and Ginny were gone and there was no saying when she'd be able to see them again.

It was around dinnertime when she could feel herself getting more and more restless, but Madame Pomfrey was nowhere to be found. Instead, Professor Snape strode through the infirmary door, studying her with an unreadable expression as he stepped next to her bed.

"Professor Dumbledore sent me to look after you as Madame Pomfrey is currently … busy," he said with a sour expression. "You could, of course, wait for her, if this is what you prefer, but if you'd rather get this over with, I will change that dressing and help you administer the salve."

Hermione looked at him worriedly. “Is Professor Dumbledore alright? I somehow got the feeling that Madame Pomfrey was worried about him all day.”

The Professor sighed. "He's fine," he replied matter of factly before he focussed her with an impatient expression. "So? Do you want me to tend to your curse wound?"

She nodded. “It’s gotten itchy again and the salve helps to keep that at bay. I’d rather have it now,” she admitted. “Do you want me to take off my shirt? Or is it alright if I just lift it?”

The man looked at her unblinkingly for a long moment. "I guess taking this off would make things easier. Do you…" he paused, taking a deep breath. "Are you wearing anything below that, so that your modesty will be preserved? Otherwise, I could also transfigure your pyjama top accordingly."

Hermione looked at him with wide eyes, her heart fluttering nervously at the idea of undressing in front of him. Thankfully that would not be necessary, she realized and looked at him with a thankful smile. “I’d appreciate it if you could transfigure my clothes accordingly, Professor. This is… you are very thoughtful, Sir.”

He looked at her with an unreadable expression. “Sit at the edge of your mattress then and try not to fidget.”

She nodded and swung her legs out of bed. Carefully she shifted her weight and moved right in front of him. Hermione could feel him watching her and for some reason, her belly fluttered nervously at the realization. Why was she suddenly feeling nervous? She trusted Professor Snape,  _ Dumbledore _ trusted him as did Madame Pomfrey. He obviously knew what he was doing, as the Headmaster himself had sent him to take care of her. It was therefore unlikely that he would hurt her, right? Still, she could not deny she was suddenly feeling fluttery when the Professor stepped in front of her, silently pointing his wand at her chest. Right away she could feel her clothes change, without him having uttered a single word, her pyjama top just shortening and getting slimmer, until it snugly fitted around her, perfectly covering everything she would rather the broody Professor not see. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. 

Professor Snape looked at her neutrally. “All right, next I’ll vanish these dressings. Hold still.”

She blinked at him in surprise. “While they’re still on? Shouldn't you take them off first?" she asked nervously. "Madam Pomfrey always…" she snapped her mouth shut when she saw his gritted teeth and the stormy expression in his eyes. "Sorry, Sir. I'm sure you know what you are doing."

He nodded with a dark expression, but to her surprise, he did not scold her in return. Instead, he just non-verbally vanished the dressings, before his eyes fixed on the large, purple scar on her side. At first, he did not speak, just studied the broken skin with his brows pulled together. "I will adapt the formula for your healing potions once more," he said and opened the little black container that held the green salve. "This still looks pretty angry. Are you still in a lot of pain?" Hermione nodded mutely, her eyes fixing his slim hands when he dipped two fingers in and scooped a generous amount out of the container. Finally, she could see him step closer and for a moment he towered over her before he kneeled down, to her surprise. It was a strange shift of perspective, as she could suddenly see the top of his head, right in front of her. But before she had the chance to study the structure of his ink-black hair, she could suddenly feel his hand against her ribs. For a moment she stiffened and sucked in her breath in surprise. She had not expected his touch to feel just like  _ that _ . Madam Pomfrey’s hands were somehow always cold, and her touch was efficient and deliberate, but never overly pleasant. Hermoine had expected it to be the same with Professor Snape, she had been sure that his hands would feel cold and somewhat stiff, but to her surprise, they didn't. His skin was warm, his touch gentle, almost hesitant as he carefully rubbed the oily salve into her tender skin, sending a pleasant tingling through her skin where he touched it. Hermione inwardly shook her head about her own stupidity. Hadn't she already realized that she didn't know the man at all? So why was she surprised that he again behaved differently than she expected?

It was only a few seconds until she felt the itching and puckering of the scar lessen and she caught herself sighing happily as she felt the relief brought by the salve. She was glad she had agreed to Professor Snape helping her. Until now she hadn't realized how much the wound actually still bothered her.

"Thank you, Professor," she said a while later, when the man had finished dressing her wound. "It feels much better now."

Professor Snape rose to his feet, his eyes resting a moment longer on her side before his eyes snapped up and he undid the transfiguration on her pyjamas so that the top covered her chest completely once more. Hermione looked at him with a thankful smile.

"It was nothing," he said slowly, sounding like he was somehow deep in thought. "Good night, Miss Granger. I believe you do not need my assistance for taking your potions." He motioned to her nightstand, where ten little phials were neatly lined up. They had not been there a few minutes ago. When had he put them up?

Hermione watched him go and suddenly realized that she wished he would stay a while longer. Merlin, she was really starved for some company, wasn't she? Her eyes followed his retreating figure with resignation. It wasn't like she could ask the man to give up any more of his free time for her. "Good night Professor," she instead replied calmly and saw him nod in acknowledgement of her words. He did not turn around, but strode out of her room without saying another word.

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposure:_ ** _ 16 minutes, 5 seconds _

**_Physical interaction_ ** _ : touching the subject’s skin for exactly 2 minutes in order to tend to her curse wound _

**_Observations:_ **

_ The test subject does not seem to be averse to physical contact, as no form of reluctance could be observed as I tended to her wound. I did so reluctantly, but as she is not particularly appealing in her physique, it was not much of a temptation to touch her more than strictly necessary. Therefore the situation was every bit as proper as it should be expected between a Professor and his student.  _

_ The test subject worded some doubts considering my magical abilities, but there did not seem to be a general distrust towards my person. Still, the physical interaction with the test subject provoked an acceleration of my heart rate to 145 bpm and left the feeling of contentment for over 30 minutes afterwards, which is quite remarkable given the fact that the girl is mostly plain and did not say much at all. Apart from that, a refreshing effect could be observed, as I felt more alert and magically rested after ending my interaction with the test subject. This could indeed indicate a replenishing of magical reserves through interaction with the girl, a theory that is worth a further investigation. _

Severus read over his notes with a dark expression. One day he would kill that meddling, old fool of a Headmaster. It was obvious that this sudden need for Madam Pomfrey was one of his schemes to bring him to interact with the girl, like this…  _ condition _ wasn't already enough to motivate him to visit her at the hospital wing. But tending to her - touching her skin for Merlin's sake - was more than he ever planned to do. The girl was his student, for god's sake! Still, the interaction with her had felt nice, which could only be explained through this strange situation they found themselves in. He could have sworn that Miss Granger's scar looked less prominent after he had finished tending to it, an effect that could not be explained through the application of another layer of salve. Could this Kindred Magic somehow enable them to heal each other, as well? It was possible, he guessed, even though he had found no evidence for that in the book he had brought from the library. But that did not mean anything, right? He had just begun his research on Kindred Magic, but he got the impression that it was a fairly unexplored field, probably because most of the affected witches and wizards just took their condition for granted and did not have any inclination to do the necessary research. Well, he intended to do better, even if that meant he would have to ask Albus to take up even more of Madam Pomfrey’s time. Severus was sure the old man wouldn’t mind, as he would probably think his scheme had worked. It was ridiculous of course! Severus was only doing this for science and nothing else. 

He was just about to put his quill aside when his Dark Mark suddenly started to hurt. Severus pulled himself to his feet with a curse. Merlin, he had almost forgotten about the fact that his master would want to see him today. He could only hope that this evening would not include a round of torture for him, because since he had been able to feel Miss Granger’s pain while getting wounded, so she would probably be able to feel his, too. 

It was fifteen minutes later when he apparated to the front gate of Malfoy Manor and walked through the impeccably groomed gardens of the huge house. He could never understand his friend’s weakness for shaped bushes and exotic birds, but when he passed the gardens he could not help but think that they looked somewhat grey and gloomy today. In his youth, he would have thought the observation was a figment of his imagination, but after years of serving the Dark Lord, he knew better. This would not be a pleasant evening. 

When he strode into the parlour, he could see that most of his comrades were already there and seated at a large table, the Dark Lord enthroned at the head of it with a calculating expression on his face. 

“Ah, Severussss,” he greeted him, as soon as he saw him enter, and he hurried to his master's side, to kneel down in front of him. 

“Master,” he said and lowered his head. “I find myself most grateful to be back at your side.”

For a moment there was no reply from the Dark Lord and instead, he could feel the man's red eyes scrutinize him for what felt like an eternity. Severus had expected nothing less and therefore had his Occlumency shields firmly in place. "And still I hear you have decided to stay at Hogwarts even though the term is closed. How does it come that you have not returned to your family home by now?”

"The Headmaster has been in need of my services," Severus replied evenly and looked at the snake-faced man with an unflinching gaze. "One of the students is still in need of specialized healing potions, as she had a rather unfortunate run-in with a pretty nasty dark curse." He let his mouth twitch with a smile before his eyes travelled to the other end of the table, where Dolohov lounged and focussed him with dark, hungry eyes. "I told the Headmaster I would only be available for a few more days and he should, therefore, send the girl to St Mungos, where she belongs, but he was rather reluctant to let her go."

His master focussed him contemplatively. "I see," he finally said, and motioned for Severus to get back to his feet. "See that you keep an eye on that mudblood," his master instructed before his eyes travelled through the room and came to rest on a pale-blond boy, who was seated next to his father and mother, who looked drawn and tired. "Dumbledore would not keep her close if she did not have any kind of use for him. Depending on what we discover, we might have to eliminate her, eventually."

Severus nodded even though those last words no longer seemed directed towards him, but to his godson. Somehow he got the feeling that the boy and his family were in the Dark Lord’s focus today, a fact that would have him worried if he had any sort of affection for the boy. Luckily he had not, because he got the feeling that this evening would get pretty ugly for Lucius and his spawn. 


	6. The art of data collection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, my friends. Unfortunately, I find writing this story unexpectedly difficult, which is probably due to my lack of experience with writing Hermione and Severus together in a pairing. I hope I am staying in character here, I am trying my best.  
> Next week I will be travelling, so I don’t know how much time I’ll have to update on this story. I will be doing my best though. Thank you for your ongoing support. It means the world to me.

When Hermione awoke the next morning, she felt as well-rested as she hadn't in weeks. Ever since before her OWLs, she had problems falling asleep, first from stress and now, during the last days, due to the pain and the strange restlessness that had befallen her lately. But finally, things were looking up for her again and even though her wound was still hurting, the pain was much more bearable and she felt strangely energized and rested. Also, her appetite had very much increased and she ate the scrambled egg and toast with an eagerness that reminded her of Ron.

"I was told to take you on a slow walk through the castle grounds," a well-known baritone suddenly said from the direction of the door. When she looked up from her tray, she saw Professor Snape standing in the doorway, his brows raised at her questioningly while his mouth was set in a straight line. "Madame Pomphrey told me you would have to build up your strength again before she could release you from her care and send you back home. Therefore she asked me to take you out."

Hermione looked up at him with a surprised smile. She had hoped he would see him today as he was the only company she currently had apart from Madame Pomphrey, who seemed to be rather busy again. "I would love to get out of bed for a while," she admitted calmly. "And if I am unable to continue, you would take me back to the Infirmary, right?"

The Professor nodded neutrally. "Of course I would. Change into something comfortable. I'll wait for you outside." Without waiting for a response from her he was gone. 

Hermione sighed and did as she was told. She changed into a T-shirt and some sweatpants because she felt not strong enough to put on some more uncomfortable or complicated clothing. It wasn't a fancy outfit, by any means, but it wasn't like anybody would care - least of all Professor Snape. 

When she walked out of the room about five minutes later, the man was leaning against the wall, staring out of the window with unseeing eyes. He seemed deep in thought but when the door behind her closed again, his head snapped up and his dark, brown eyes focussed on her again. "You're done," he stated neutrally and stepped away from the wall. "I suggest we go down to the edge of the forbidden forest. It is a hot day and it's the only place with enough shade to not get uncomfortable right away. Do you approve of my suggestion?"

Hermione nodded with a smile. "I'll go almost anywhere as long as you're getting me out of the Infirmary, Professor" she admitted with a smile. "I think I'm slowly starting to get cabin fever."

Professor Snape looked at her for a long moment and it was absolutely impossible to guess what he was thinking. "Very well," he finally said, the corner of his mouth twitching into something like a smile. "Come on then, Miss Granger. And let me know if you start to feel tired or want to return. It is not advisable to tire yourself out too much."

"Yes, Sir," Hermione answered him and followed him through the corridor with a smile on her face. Her belly was fluttering happily at the prospect of finally getting out, even if it was with Professor Snape as a chaperone. 

Ssssssss

Miss Granger was in surprisingly good shape for having suffered such a strong curse. Severus still remembered the picture of her cursed flesh, still swollen and tender from the foul magic, that had seeped into it. He hadn't been aware of it right away, but he suddenly felt the strong need to curse Dolohov or at least hurt him, when no one was watching. Maybe one of his curses could accidentally stray and hit him during the next Death Eater raid? No, that would probably be too risky as he could not compromise his position as Dumbledore's spy. Still, the need to somehow hurt this bastard grew stronger with every time he watched the girl slow down and lean against a wall for support. 

"Maybe we should go back," he calmly suggested, after it happened for the third time. Miss Granger's eyes immediately snapped up and she fixed him with an almost desperate expression. 

"No Sir, please. We are almost outside, now. I would really enjoy some fresh air and a change of scenery," she pleaded. 

His first impulse was to scold her for being unreasonable, but a moment later he realized that going back would mean his visit being over, which would not leave him with any new data to work with. No, he needed to spend a bit more time with her, for scientific purposes of course. "As you wish. We can walk a bit further. If I remember correctly there is a tree pretty close to the castle. It will provide enough shade for us to sit down and enjoy the fresh air."

He deliberately underlined the last words to remind her, that she had been the one uttering them. To his astonishment, the girl simply smiled at him in return. "That would be brilliant!" she uttered and a moment later she had started walking again. Somehow he was strangely pleased by her words, his body humming happily, filled with the strange energy that seemed to seep into him, as soon as she was near her. He would have to be careful to not get too dependent on this feeling of contentment he had started to experience in her presence. Because when it was done he would only have an unnecessarily hard time to readjust to the loneliness again.

They sat down below the tree, Severus making the quick decision to transfigure a large blanket for them. The action was promptly rewarded by another appreciative smile from the girl. 

"It's a beautiful day," she exclaimed with a happy sigh and sat down. Severus carefully chose a spot a bit farther away from her and lowered himself to the ground. He chose to not reply. He would not ridicule himself by talking about the weather. On the other hand, they could not simply sit here in silence, even though this usually was what he preferred. But if he wanted to find a way to regularly interact with the girl without her realizing they had a special connection, then this would take some planning and effort from his side. Therefore he chose the first topic that came to his mind and said: "In your last potions essay you wrote, that the addition of Moonfairy dust would improve the effectiveness of the Cramp Reliever. Where did you get the idea from?"

He could feel the girl's focus shift towards him, as her eyes suddenly fixed him with a proud expression. Every other student had probably refused to answer or mumbled something about not being able to remember. But this was Hermione Granger, the witch that was always eager to answer his questions and she did not disappoint. Severus saw her taking a deep breath before her caramel-brown eyes lighted up with interest. It was probably the first time he encouraged her to share her thoughts with him and a moment later she did so with an eagerness that was rather catching. Her argumentation was sound, he realized with a pleased little smile. Maybe these next hour wouldn't be as dull as he suspected. Luckily Miss Granger was an intelligent conversation partner. This would make this whole situation much more bearable, Severus thought.

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposition_ ** _ : 2 hours, 34 minutes, 45 seconds _

**_Physical interaction:_ ** _ none _

Severus stared at the notebook in front of him with a shake of his head. Things had rather gotten out of hand, considering that he had only wanted to spend an hour of his time with the girl. But somehow time had flown by rather quickly with them discussing various aspects of potion-making, he had never even suspected her to have an understanding for. And Merlin he had enjoyed it! Dumbledore had been right. The both of them were more similar than he had first realized and he didn't only mean them being able to share an intellectually stimulating conversation. No, in some ways the girl really reminded him of himself as a teenager, only that she had been lucky enough to find herself some loyal friends that supported her and kept the bullying at bay. Weasley and Potter had always been eager to defend her against anyone trying to bully her and for a moment Severus asked himself if his life would have taken a different turn if he had had equally loyal friends. It might have. Well, there was no going back for him now. The past could not be undone, he had learned that the hard way.

With a sigh, he dipped his quill into the ink and after a moment of hesitation he continued to write:

**_Observations:_ **

_ The subject could be easily swayed to indulge in intellectual discussion, which made being exposed to her presence much more bearable. I should remember that approach if the need arises to instigate further contact. She has proven to be more intelligent than I so far realized, as she was able to properly discuss several topics, without permanently citing from a book. Therefore the conversation was much more manageable as I did not constantly feel the need to silence her as I do in class.  _

  
  


He left it at that and started to note the measurements of his heart rate and other relevant factors he had magically tracked during his meeting with Miss Granger. Later that day he would visit her again, to change the dressing of her wound again, as Dumbledore would keep Madame Pomphrey otherwise occupied. If things went well, Miss Granger would soon not be too averse of meeting him, which would make seeing her regularly during the new school year much easier. Her holidays were a problem though. As it looked it would only be a few days, until the girl returned to her parents. In order to keep their strange connection a secret he would still need to see her during that time, but he would find a way to do that, without her noticing.

Ssssssss

"Professor Snape?" Hermione asked carefully, as the man carefully took off her dressing in the evening. Their walk in the morning had gone rather well and the man hadn't insulted her once. This made her hopeful he would not sneer at her right away when she addressed him.

She was right. The man just looked up at her with a contemplative gaze. "What is it?"

"Madam Pomphrey told me that this scar would never totally fade. Is there some way to hide it for a while? Maybe a long-lasting glamour or a cream?"

Hermione saw his brows knit together in annoyance and she could tell he attempted to brush her off, so she hastily continued: "I… might not have told my parents the truth about my injury, Sir. I don't want them to remove me from school and so I did not tell them about our trip to the ministry, the basilisk or You-Know-Who."

"You did not tell them anything, did you?" he asked with a shake of his head. At least he no longer sounded annoyed with her.

"Not really, no. Hogwarts is the place where I finally don't feel like a freak, where I found some friends. I don't want to lose that, Sir. I know I'll have to tell them, probably soon, but maybe I could just enjoy this last summer…"

She broke off, realizing how stupid and egoistical she sounded. The Professor would be right to scold her for her childish behaviour. But he didn't.

"I would strongly advise against casting a glamour on a cursed wound, Miss Granger," he said pulling a face as if he spoke from experience. "It usually does not end well. But there might be other ways to hide it for a shorter amount of time. I'd have to look into it, though."

Hermione looked at him with wide eyes. "You'd do that for me, Sir?"

The man looked at her with a crooked smile and gleaming eyes. "I might if you are willing to make up for the time it takes me, to create something for you. You seem to be rather efficient in preparing potion ingredients. Would you be willing to work some evenings in my lab and assist with brewing?"

Hermione had expected anything but not that, which might be the reason she simply stared at the man, her mouth hanging open. "I'd love to, Sir. I'll work very hard and I will not disappoint you, I promise!" she said and for a moment she had the urge to just hug the unruly man for his unexpected kindness. But that would probably end with him sneering at her and taking his offer back. 

"You better not," he said and dipped two of his long fingers into the container holding the green balm, that he would once again have to apply to her wound. Hermione followed the motion with a small smile on her lips. She could not believe how lucky she was. Working with him in the lab wasn't a chore for her at all. She would surely be able to pick up some things while she watched a potions master brew. Merlin, she could not believe how lucky she was!

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposition:_ ** _ 20 minutes 33 seconds _

**_Physical interaction:_ ** _ for 2 minutes and 30 seconds _

**_Observations:_ **

_ Again, the test subject did not show any aversion against being touched. The change of the wound dressing showed a massive improvement in the wound. The application of the healing salve alone again stimulated a vast regeneration of the curse damage within minutes, that can not be tracked to the ingredients of the salve alone. This is supporting the hypothesis of increased healing or self-healing due to physical contact. Even though I feel highly uncomfortable exploring that particular path of my studies any further as it will require touching the girl in the future, the subject’s need for medical care leaves me with no other choice than to tend to her injuries. Still, mutual healing may be useful in the future, should I need healing once returning from a meeting. It is definitely worth it to find out if the dual healing could go both ways.  _

_ The test subject agreed to assist me in my lab after the holidays. She was not even hesitant to do so. Maybe this will provide a chance to extend the length of exposition to her even further and therefore note any other effects on my magic or mental state. Spending time in her presence, however tedious it might appear to me, seems to have a positive effect on both _ . I  _ will need a plausible reason for the subject to be seen near me or in the classroom after hours. Also I will need to ascertain what the girl tells her “friends" of our continual interactions. _

  
  


Sssssssss

"Why did you agree to accompany Potter to the Ministry, knowing that this was probably a suicide mission?" Severus found himself asking two days later. He had again taken her on a walk and this time they managed to walk to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, where he again transfigured a thick, soft blanket for them to sit down on. When Miss Granger continued to make as much progress, he would soon have to send her back to her parents, which was when the problems for him would start. He still did not know how to meet her then, especially as he did not want to point out their strange connection to her. Knowing about it she would probably feel pressured to spend time with him or feel obliged to befriend or Merlin forbid fall in love with him and that was a disaster he wanted to avoid at all costs. 

For a moment Miss Granger did not react to his question and stared unseeingly towards the castle. Finally, she sighed and looked at him with a resigned expression. "Harry is my friend, Professor and I'd do almost anything for him. I know this sounds stupid, but I had always problems making friends. Before Hogwarts, kids used to avoid me. They thought me strange and not just because of the strange accidents that used to happen around me. I was too bookish, or too grown up in their eyes and so I was often bullied or simply ignored." The girl's expression was guarded, probably because she expected some sort of nasty comment from him. How should she know that he exactly knew what she was talking about? It had been the same for him, only that he had already made a friend before coming to school - a friend he would have done anything for. But that wasn't the point right now. 

"Just because Potter is your friend does not mean you should help him getting killed, Miss Granger," he said, focussing her caramel brown eyes with a serious expression. "I know this is not easy, as your friend tends to be reckless and to not think things through. But that is what you can help him with. Don't tell me you haven't at least considered that this… vision could have been an attempt to trap him?"

The girl sighed and finally lowered her gaze. "I told him it probably was, which is why he finally agreed to floo-call Grimmauld Place and check if Sirius was alright. We only reached Kreacher, the house-elf though, who told us that Sirius was not there."

"I see," Severus replied calmly. He could not help but ask himself what would have happened if he had sent somebody to the Ministry right away that day. Miss Granger would probably have never gotten hurt and the strange connection between them might have remained undetected until today. He found himself not knowing if he liked that idea. "It is not my place to judge your decisions, Miss Granger, but let me tell you the following: before this war is over, you'll have to make many difficult and probably dangerous decisions. Not only you but all of us. If you want you and your friends to survive, then you'll not only need to be a brave Gryffindor, you'll need all the cunning and carefulness of a Slytherin as well." He looked at her meaningfully. "Mr Potter and Mr Weasley do have enough bravery to last you through the war, but from time to time it will be your job to hold them back and let them reconsider. This might not make you very popular with them for the moment, but maybe this will make the difference between dying and surviving."

The girl looked at him with wide eyes and for a moment he had to fight the strong urge to comfort her. He was already almost overstepping the fine line between teacher and student, but he had to make sure the girl understood the danger of being too careless. "I know that the right decision is not always the easy one, Miss Granger and considering that I am a Death Eater I know plenty about making the wrong decisions."

Damn, he did not want to say that, but somehow the words just slipped out without him realizing until it was too late. The effect was immediate, as the girl's gaze suddenly grew hesitant and her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth. A moment later he could see her tormenting it nervously. "Why did you join the Death Eaters, Sir?" she finally asked quietly but still loud enough for him to hear. He looked back at her with a regretful smile. 

"There is no simple answer for such a complicated question, Miss Granger. I had several reasons back then but to explain them I would have to tell you about my past, which I will not do," he said calmly and immediately he saw her nod.

"Of course, Sir. I didn't mean to pry or to disrespect you," the girl hastily assured him with downcast eyes. 

"A question is rarely a form of disrespect, at least if it is asked accordingly. As long as you accept your question not being answered…"

"I don't," she assured him, interrupting him mid-sentence. 

"Good. And now we should probably head back to the castle. It's almost lunchtime," he said and without waiting for her reply he pulled himself up to his feet. Miss Granger followed his example a moment later. Somehow this discussion with her had developed to be much more personal than he intended to. But somehow he realized that he could not find himself to regret that. Miss Granger had not flinched away from him after his confession of being a Death Eater, she had not judged him for it, just asked after his reasons for making this discussion. What would have happened if he had told her about his past? Would she have understood or maybe even tried to comfort him? He pushed the thought away with a sigh. Trusting people was always a mistake, one that he would not make again. He would make no exception to this self-made rule, not even for one Hermione Granger.

  
  
  



	7. An unexpected gift

“You are not going to tell her, are you?” Albus said, his blue eyes looking at him with mild disappointment. Severus looked back at him in annoyance.  
"Of course not," he said, decidedly ignoring the cup of tea the man had offered him in his office. "I can't see her reacting rationally to this kind of news. Either she shies away and makes this more difficult than it needs to be. Or she feels pressured or trapped into doing something she'd rather not. Miss Granger is a teenage girl, Albus. She's supposed to be allowed to make her own decisions and not…" he waved through the air, as no appropriate words would come to him.  
The Headmaster looked at him with knowing eyes and sighed. "Who said she could not? She is an intelligent woman, as you surely realized by now. Kindred Magic is not a curse, Severus, it's a gift. But more importantly: it is not something that is suddenly forced on you out of the blue. It’s not some charm, Severus, as it’s most likely always been there. You’ve just never realized that it was. Think of it like the question of what was there first: the egg or the hen?”  
Severus could not help but roll his eyes. "The egg, of course, it's obvious. But I guess I get what you are trying to say. Still, if it is like you're saying, not telling her will not make any difference. Either this is meant to happen, or not, end of story."  
The Headmaster stared at him with a shake of his head. "You are making a mistake, my boy and I fear that you are coming to regret it one day."  
He shrugged. "I'm sure you won't be too shy to tell me when that day arrives. Is there anything else you need from me?"  
Albus studied him with a grandfatherly expression. “You will be the one to escort her home tomorrow,” he said and took a sip from his cup. “As you’ll have to visit her from time to time, even if it is in secret, I can as well give you the chance to find out more about her home.”  
Severus nodded. "As you wish," he said and got up from his chair. This was probably another one of Dumbledore's attempts to manipulate him, but right now he did not care because the man was right. He needed to at least get an idea of the girl's living situation and her plans for the holidays. Visiting her in secret would be hard enough as it was.

Ssssssss

The time started to fly and soon Hermione was healthy enough to finally leave the infirmary and Hogwarts and go home. Over the last days, Professor Snape had visited her regularly. In the morning he usually took her on a walk over the grounds and day by day she could see her fitness return until they made a long walk along the Black Lake without her tiring out. That was yesterday and as soon as they returned, the Professor told her that she would be able to leave the castle tomorrow. It was good news of course, as she would finally be allowed to go home and see her parents. But somehow the thought of leaving Hogwarts behind also made her sad, which was ridiculous as she would all too soon return for the new school year. Still, the thought of leaving the castle felt wrong and she could not help but sigh when she tugged her last school uniform away and closed her suitcase.  
"You might want to open that again," a well-known, male voice suddenly said and when she looked up, she could see Professor Snape standing in the doorway of her dorm. It was strange seeing him here as she had somehow always thought that only other Gryffindors could enter the Gryffindor tower. Now she realized how ridiculous that was. Professor Snape was a teacher at this school and therefore he was probably able to visit all the rooms of the castle, well most of them.   
“Professor Snape!” she said and looked at the man with a pleased smile.   
The man studied her with an unreadable expression, before he suddenly took an old book out of an inner pocket of his robe. "I thought you might enjoy some additional reading material for your summer break," he said and for a moment Hermione could have sworn that her Professor sounded nervous. But that was ridiculous, right? Why would he be nervous when talking to her?  
Hermione looked at him curiously. "That is very thoughtful of you, Sir. I always enjoy a good book to read, but I guess that's not a secret." She blushed. Hermione was, of course, aware that many students and probably also some teachers called her a book-worm and most of them surely did not mean that in a good way. Usually, she did not care about being called names but with him, she suddenly found that she did.  
"Not really, no. But it's never a bad thing to strive for more knowledge, as long as one can hold a conversation without constantly citing from a book." His lips twitched and Hermione blushed in mortification. He was right. She should really stop doing that. "This is an old book of mine," he continued "my old potions book to be exact. I believe you'll be needing it next year, but this is not why I am giving this to you. This version has a lot of notes at the sides that might be of interest for you.”  
Hermione blinked at him in surprise. "I can't accept this, Sir," she finally said hesitantly and immediately she saw his expression darken. Therefore she hastily added. "I mean no offence, but using that book would be like cheating in class. I don't want to earn my potions grade by having a secret advantage, especially since I would be cheating on you."  
For a moment he just stared at her silently, before he said: "I am most likely not going to teach potions next year and if you feel uncomfortable doing so, you would not have to use the book during class. You could also just read through and hand it back to me at the beginning of the school year if this is what you prefer."  
Hermione could not help but smile at the man’s thoughtfulness. Somehow it was harder and harder for her to see the snarky Professor in him, that he had been during the school year. When meeting him now, without his Slytherins or any other students around, he was behaving so differently that it almost made her dizzy. No wonder the man was a spy when he could change his behaviour like that. Was this how he really was? "I would," Hermione said and with a happy smile, she accepted the book. It looked very old and worn, but she did not care at all. Professor Snape had just given her something very personal and considering how private the man usually was, the gesture almost took her breath away. "This is very thoughtful, Sir. Thank you. I'll handle it with care and hand it back to you after the summer break."  
“As you wish,” Professor Snape replied and nodded calmly. “I also do have something else for you. You asked me after a way to conceal your curse scar and I developed a creme for that purpose.”  
The girl looked at him with a stunned expression, before her face broke out in a wide, pleased smile. “Thank you, Professor!” she said, her voice eager. “This is… I can’t believe you did this for me. I don’t know how to thank you for this, Sir!”  
"I told you, that you'll have to make up for my lost time during the next school year. Especially at the beginning of the year, I am usually very busy restocking the infirmary. You'll be helping with that," Snape said in a bored tone, but Hermione's smile only widened at his words. She couldn't wait for those evenings if she was honest with herself. Even if the Professor would not directly teach her and probably scold her if she did things wrong, she'd surely be able to learn at least something from working with him.   
“I know, Sir. I’m looking forward to it,” she admitted, before accepting the container with cream he handed to her. She carefully stored the small jar and the Professor’s book in her luggage, before snapping it close and looking at the man with an expectant look on her face.   
“Are you finished packing? Or do you need me to wait outside for you?”  
“No, I’m good, Sir,” she said and cast the featherlight charm on her travelling suitcase. But before she could take it, Professor Snape grabbed it and lifted it with his right arm.   
“Well, then come along, Miss Granger. I’ll lead you to the apparition point. It’s only a short walk from the castle.”  
Hermione nodded with a hesitant smile and gripped Crookshanks' pet carrier. She had never travelled via apparition before, but she guessed it would be the quickest and safest way for her to get home. "Is there anything to pay attention to while you are apparating us, Sir? I've never done that before."  
The Professor looked at her with a grimace. "Yes. Try not to vomit on my shoes," he said dryly.  
She looked at him with wide eyes. He must be joking, right? But his face was entirely serious. Merlin! Maybe she should have asked the Headmaster to use the floo and let her parents pick her up from the Leaky Cauldron? But she guessed now it was too late for a change of mind.

Ssssssss

Merlin, he had behaved like a desperate teenager, Severus thought, leading the girl through the castle. He wasn't even sure what possessed him to give her his old, shabby potions book but half an hour ago he had thought it a good idea. Reading his notes could maybe spark another scientific discussion between them, or several. And he thought the girl responsible enough to not use the darker spells he noted in this book. But then the girl had refused to take it, her reasoning was quite understandable actually, and he should have left it at that. Instead, he had almost begged her to take the damned book and could not help but scowl at himself now. What a pathetic, old man he had become!   
They slowly walked towards the apparition point. He could feel the girl’s nervousness radiate in waves from her, he just wasn’t sure about the reason for it. Was she afraid of side-along apparition? Or of her parent’s reaction? It was probably the latter, as he himself had never looked forward to going home or telling his parents anything that happened at school. His father, who was a Muggle like Miss Granger's parents, was an abusive bastard and Severus could not fault her for not telling them the truth about her little stunt at the Ministry. He would have done the same. Maybe it was good that he'd decided to keep an eye on her during the holidays…  
"We're almost there," he said calmly and out of the corner of his eye, he saw the girl nodding. She hadn't said a word since leaving her dorm and even though she hasn't been as annoyingly attention-seeking as during potions class in the last days, her silence felt somewhat strange. Merlin, he really shouldn't have given her this damned book, should he? It was an explanation for her to suddenly behave so shy towards him, wasn't it?  
Only a few steps further had them arrive at the apparition point. Miss Granger looked at the marked area wearily and he could see her eyes nervously dart between her travelling suitcase and the pet carrier, that held her huge orange beast of a cat. It stared at him calculatingly, while its long bushy tail whipped back and forth. The ugly, flat-nosed cat hated him, this much he could tell. He guessed it didn't matter, as he wasn't a fan of cats either.   
"I will apparate you and the luggage at once," Severus calmly explained and looked at the girl to judge her reaction. "You'll have to grip my arm tightly and use your other arm to carry your cat. If you feel uncomfortable doing so, I could apparate you first and come back for the rest later."  
The girl looked at him with a hesitant expression. “We can do it all in one go, Sir. I just… I’d really like to avoid vomiting at your shoes or any other part of you.”  
The Professor shrugged indifferently. “Getting sick after your first side-along apparition happens to most people, Miss Granger. You shouldn't worry too much about it. Instead, try to concentrate on not letting go. Can you do that?"  
His student nodded. “Yes, Sir,” she said, sounding determined. Severus nodded and offered her his right arm.   
“Very well then. Hold on tight," he instructed and a moment later he could feel her hand gripping his arm in determination. It was the first time she touched him and even though he could feel her hand only through his robe, he felt goosebumps spread all over his arm. Merlin, he needed to get a grip on himself, otherwise, he would risk splinching her. "Are you ready?" he asked and saw her nod in confirmation. A moment later they were gone. 

Ssssssss

Hermione felt her stomach lurch in protest, as her whole body was squeezed through what felt like the eye of a needle while she was riding some sort of invisible rollercoaster. The feeling thankfully only lasted a few seconds, before she had once more solid ground under her feet. It all happened so suddenly that she still stumbled forward, feeling horribly dizzy and definitely sick. Professor Snape must have expected it, as she could feel his strong hands grip her shoulders and keep her upright, preventing her from falling to her knees.  
“Deep breaths,” he instructed her calmly and Hermione nodded. The small movement of her head was enough to let her stomach clench in protest though and she could only rip herself away from him and stumble to one of her mum’s rose bushes. There she immediately lost her breakfast. Merlin, how embarrassing! At least she managed to not hit the Professor, even though she had probably just killed one of her mum's prized flowers.   
"Hermione, love, are you alright?" she suddenly heard her mum shout from the backdoor of their house and a moment later she heard her run towards her with quick steps. Brilliant! Just when she was about to pull herself up, she saw Professor Snape appear next to her, shielding her from her mum's view. She saw him silently vanish her vomit with a movement of his wand and could not help but thank him silently for his quick thinking. It was just in time as her mum arrived at her side a moment later.  
“ ‘M fine mum,” Hermione mumbled hastily. “Travelling through magical means always seems to be somewhat unpleasant but I think apparition is my least favourite way of transport.”  
"Oh Dear, is it worse than the brooms?" her mum asked sympathetically. Hermione nodded miserably before she remembered Professor Snape standing next to her.  
“Mum, this is Professor Snape, my Potions Professor,” she hastily said and prayed that her mum would not embarrass her but saying something Hermione had written her about in her letters. She had often complained about the man’s unfairness or and unfriendliness, so it would not even surprise her if one of her parents felt appointed to set things right for their daughter.   
"Professor Snape, huh?" her father suddenly said from behind her. She hadn't even seen him coming, but it was only a moment before she felt herself being pulled into his strong arms. "Hello Pumpkin," he murmured against her hair, so that hopefully only she was able to hear it. "I'm glad you're finally back home. Took you long enough, hey?”  
“ ‘m sorry daddy,” she mumbled before pulling away with a sheepish smile on her lips.   
Her father looked back at her with twinkling eyes. "I bet you are," he said before his eyes focussed back on Professor Snape. "Thank you for bringing my girl home," he said and offered the man his hand. "I am Dan Granger and this is my wife Emma."  
Her Professor shook her father's hand with an acknowledging nod. "Severus Snape," he introduced himself with an unreadable expression on his face.  
"We'd be glad if you joined us for lunch. I know it's still early, but we'd really like to finally meet the Professor that is featured in almost every one of Hermione's letters."

Hermione groaned inwardly. Leave it to her parents to embarrass her in front of Professor Snape. If it ever came to that lunch, the man would probably hate her even more than he already had before. Would he start regretting to having treated her kindly for the last days? She hoped not.  
"I'm sure the Professor is quite busy," Hermione said hastily and plastered an apologetic smile on her lips. "He already agreed to stay behind at the castle to provide the potions needed for my recovery. I'm sure he's glad to finally be able to go home."

Her father looked at her with a knowing smile, before his eyes moved to her travelling companion. “In this case…” he said, but Professor Snape interrupted him with a shake of his head.  
"I am sure I can make some more time for eating lunch with you," he answered and then he smiled. Hermione looked at him with a stunned expression, as his features were suddenly friendly and nothing reminded of the unfriendly man she had often described in her letters. That’s when she knew that the next hour would probably be one of the longest of her life.


	8. Letting you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, my update schedule has recently slowed down a bit. I am currently on holidays and therefore I don’t find much time or motivation to write. Your words of encouragement and your support keep blowing my mind though, which is why I worked hard to make another update possible, this week. Enjoy!

Severus could tell the girl was uncomfortable with him staying longer at her parent's house and even though Dan and Emma Granger seemed to be completely different from what he imagined them to be, he could understand Miss Granger's feelings. As a teenager, he would have hated the idea of his Professor talking to his parents, especially to his father. He would have been almost sure that the man would have found fault with his Professor's words and beaten him up afterwards. Whereas his parents would probably not have given the best of pictures about his home life, but probably not bad enough that someone had been worried enough to get him out of there.

But Severus still could not miss out on the chance to get to know the Granger’s house, which he was going to secretly visit over the next few weeks. He would also need to learn about the family’s holiday plans as he did not wish to suddenly stand in front of an empty house realizing the family was no longer there. Maybe it would also be possible for him to erect some simple wards around the Muggle family’s house, as there were no magical protections in place. And he could not help but feel worried about the girl’s security.

Dumbledore was right with one thing: not telling Miss Granger about the bond was a risk and it would need careful preparation from his side, to not mess things up. Which meant Severus needed all information he could get, even at the price of making Miss Granger uncomfortable. 

"I am sure I can make some more time for eating lunch with you," Severus said as friendly as possible. It couldn't hurt to make a good impression with these Muggles, especially as he planned secretly spending time with their underage daughter. Merlin, it really sounded creepy when he put it like that. 

“Excellent!” Emma Granger exclaimed, clapping her hands together in delight. “Come in then.”

He was just about to move, when he heard a scratching sound to his feet and when he looked down, the ugly, orange furball tried to break out of his carrier. His student must have heard it too, as she kneeled down a moment later and released the animal from its prison. The cat did not lose any time and darted towards the next tree, his tail erect and strangely reminding him of a bottle brush. Well, side-along apparating surely hadn’t helped to gain the monster’s affection, he guessed. 

The Grangers led him inside their house, a well-kept two-storey building that spoke of a good income and people caring about it. The rooms were all painted in light colours, the interior of the house organized and lovingly decorated while almost every room he passed had at least one shelf brimming with books. The Grangers were no doubt intellectual people and at least one of the elders enjoyed reading as much as their daughter did. It reminded him painfully of his childhood and what he had been missing from it.

"Mum, Dad, I'll take my luggage upstairs first before joining you in the kitchen," Hermione said, her expression almost haunted. A moment later she left, her suitcase in hand and Severus could not help but think that the girl just fled the room. She had never done that before. Her parents did not seem to mind though, as they just followed her with an amused expression.

“I’m sure she will be right back,” her mother assured him and led him into a pristine kitchen with a big dining table. “Would you like a cup of tea, Professor? Or would you prefer joining my husband in his study until lunch is finished?”

“We could play a game of pool or I could introduce you to my favourite Scotch,” Mr Granger added with a friendly smile and Severus realized that this might be the perfect chance for him to get the information he needed.

Severus looked back at the man with a friendly smile. “That would be lovely,” he replied and followed the man into a luxurious study that contained a huge desk, several bookshelves but also a pool table. Merlin, those Muggles were really well off. It was a far cry from how he had lived as a child and teenager. Miss Granger could really consider herself lucky for such an upbringing. Still, he  could see that she wasn't even aware of how lucky she was.

Severus sighed. It was time for him to collect as much information as he could from those Muggles and he would start by using the time until lunch. If he had problems finding some things out, he could always use  Legillimency on Dan Granger and wipe the man’s memory afterwards. None of the other Grangers ever had to find out. 

Lunch would afterwards be a perfect chance for him to make a good, “first impression” with these muggles. He needed to gain their trust in case he would meet them in the future. Considering that he was linked to their daughter that wasn’t even unlikely.

Ssssssss

When Hermione hurried down the stairs, Professor Snape was gone. Well, at least he wasn’t in the kitchen like Hermione expected him to be. 

"Where is he? Where's the Professor?" she asked her mum, looking around the kitchen with wide, agitated eyes. Merlin, she had just wanted to get her suitcase out of the way because she knew her mum hated it when she left things lying around.

Her mum looked at her with a knowing smirk. “He went to your father’s study,” she replied, washing salad in the sink. “Calm down. Your dad invited him for a game of pool, I believe.”

“But…” Hermione started, her shoulders sinking. Merlin, what would her father say about her? And what would Professor Snape tell him about her adventures at Hogwarts in return? She groaned.

“It will be fine honey,” her mum told her with a shake of her head. “Come, help me with the salad. You can cut the tomatoes and the cucumber.”

Hermione nodded, even though her stomach was still in knots. But there was nothing she could do now. She sliced the veggies as carefull y as she could, imagining the Professor to raise his brows at a sloppy cut piece of cucumber, even though that was probably humbug. Still, she could not help but want to impress the man, even if it was through a skillfully prepared salad. She did not want him regretting to have asked her to help him out in the lab, after all. Still, her thoughts often enough drifted towards her father’s study, nervousness gripping her the longer the man stayed away. Were they talking much? Was the Professor sneering at her father and her father was throwing back every nasty comment she had written to her parents in her letters? After half an hour she felt like she was going to be sick. What were they even doing in there for such a long time?

“Hermione?” her mother asked, pulling her out of her frantic thoughts. “Stop wanting to control everything. I told you it will be fine. Whatever the Professor says, your father will take it in stride and not think too much about it. And I hope you trust him not to embarrass you in return.

"No, of course, I trust him," she mumbled with a scowl. "And it's not that I want to control everything. I'm just worried, that's all."

"Worried," the other woman repeated tonelessly. "Was that your excuse for trying to trap house-elves into freedom? In the end, they did not really like it that much, did they?”

Hermione  winced then  nodded mutely. “ Not really, no.”  She hated to be reminded of that failure.

“And wasn’t there that story of you letting Professor McGonagall confiscate Harry’s broom? I remember him being terribly mad at you afterwards,” her mum continued, caramel brown eyes studying her reaction carefully. 

“Not to forget your love for making detailed plans  without anyone else’s input of  _ their _ time . I get that, I really do, but maybe others are not so fond of having their life planned out for them. Or did Harry and Ron like the planners you had as a gift for them? Apart from that planning bathroom breaks seems  like a bit much, even for me.”

Hermione furrowed her brows. She had forgotten about that particular incident. It was true that she had tried to organize Ron’s and Harry’s revision schedules, but she only wanted to help them. Why couldn’t her mum see that?

But her mother still wasn’t finished. “Not to forget your tendency to budge into other people’s conversations you weren’t originally included in. You did that a lot before you went to Hogwarts and I remember you writing to us about your problems to find friends in the beginning. You found Ron and Harry after a while, but that’s it, isn’t it?” 

Hermione sighed. “Alright, alright. I might be a bit controlling and bossy, but I’m not doing that on purpose,” she admitted sulkily. “I’ll try to better myself from now on, but it’s hard, you know?”

“I know, believe me, I know,” her mum said, tossing the salad. “But you really need to work on this controlling side of yours  as I am constantly working on mine . Boys tend to be not overly impressed with bossy women, at least not for a very long while.” She smiled fondly and Hermione thought that she probably referred to her father and herself. Her mother could be a bit bossy and controlling sometimes, after all.

“Alright mum,” she said anyway, before taking some plates and carrying them towards the dining table. “I’ll work on it, I promise,” she said and meant it. Harry and Ron had often enough complained about her bossy side. Maybe she really needed to slowly get a grip on herself.

Her mum smiled. “Good,” she said, twinkling towards her daughter. “Because next year I want you to introduce us to a boy- or girlfriend.”

Hermione groaned. Not this discussion again!

ssssssss

Hermione shut the door to her room behind her with a relieved sigh. Even though her parents had luckily not repeated Hermione’s stories from her letters to the Professor, lunch seemed to drag on for ages. Hermione had barely spoken a word and instead watched her parents excitedly chatter about her childhood, her outstanding memory and her interest in Muggle science. It was embarrassing watching them praise her, when the man had known her for years. Her mum even recalled the story of her slicing up her mother’s prized black roses in order to study them under the microscope, which led to the Professor standing in her room shortly after, interestedly staring at the scientific equipment she had accumulated all over her desk. 

“Fascinating,” he said a while later while staring through the oculars of the machine she had just loaded with a sample from her collection. “Using this device would be most helpful for studying the properties of different magical plants or other ingredients. It is a pity that Hogwarts prevents Muggle technology from functioning inside its walls.”

Hermione nodded understandingly, before a thought crossed her mind and she started gnawing on her bottom lip. “Well, if you are really interested in checking some samples, you could always install a microscope at your home. Or you could come back here and do so. I am sure my parents would not mind.” 

Professor Snape looked at her for a long moment and at first, it appeared he even considered her invitations. But then he said: "I don't think this would be appropriate, Miss Granger," his voice scolding.

It took a while for her to understand her words but then she realized that he probably referred to the fact that they were in her bedroom, alone. For a moment her belly fluttered at the realisation, but she hastily shooed the feeling away and said: “Of course, Sir. I didn’t think. The microscope could be moved downstairs though, to the kitchen or to the living room.”

The man stared at her with an unreadable expression. Finally, he said: "I cannot be seen travelling to your house again, Miss Granger, as a connection to your family could unnecessarily endanger your parents." She sighed. But Professor Snape was not finished. "I could apparate into your hallway though, but only with your parent's explicit permission, as such behaviour is considered very rude in a wizarding household."

Hermione nodded with a smile. Why was the thought of Professor Snape visiting her during summer break making her so happy? Was ist because she considered herself in his debt? Probably. He did help her a lot during those last days, after all. 

“I’m sure my parents will not mind having you here once or twice,” she said and switched off the microscope. “Even though they will probably want to know every story about my time at Hogwarts you’re willing to tell them.” Hermione rolled her eyes, suddenly thinking that this maybe wasn’t such a good idea, after all.

“I could tell them about you stealing potion ingredients from my storage, brewing Polyjuice and transforming yourself into a cat,” he said, looking at her with his mouth in a straight line, while his eyes twinkled in amusement. Hermione stared at him in disbelief. Where was this humorous side suddenly coming from?

"You've seen that?" she squeaked in mortification, before realizing that he probably was the one who had brewed her antidote. Merlin, of course, he had known about this embarrassing episode of her life.

Professor Snape nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement. “I have. Don’t worry, I won’t tell them. I don’t tend to blabber about things without at least considering the consequences. And I’m not an overly chatty person, in general.”

Hermione couldn’t help it, she snorted. “No, you aren’t, Sir. And suddenly I’m very glad about that.”

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposition:_ ** _ 3 hours, 2 minutes and 46 seconds _

**_Physical interaction_ ** _ :  _

  * _Side-along apparition (4 seconds)_
  * _Steadying the subject after the apparition (10 seconds)_
  * _Handshake (3 seconds)_



**_Observations:_ **

_ The test subject felt comfortable enough to joke in my presence and even invited me for a visit to her parents for the purpose of doing scientific research together. Not even the thought of being alone in her bedroom with me seemed to unsettle her. Both actions indicate growing trust or a strengthening of the connection between us, even though they also indicate a lack of awareness of what the appropriate behaviour for a witch her age should be. It seems like her upbringing is to fault for that though, as Muggles seem to be much more careless about their children’s reputation  _ _ and how it will affect them in life. _

_ It was easy enough to pick her father's brain for the information I needed. Most of it he told me on purpose and I only had to retreat to Legillimency to find out the last bits of the puzzle. I carefully wiped his memory of it afterwards, leaving him totally clueless of what had happened. At least the girl seems safe enough staying with those Muggles, as they do not seem to be overly abusive towards her. _

_ Furthermore, the test subject has a vast knowledge of Muggle science. I should polish up my knowledge in that area as well, as it will be helpful, should we engage any further. _

Severus stared at his notes with a contemplative expression. The day had taken a strange and unexpected turn, indeed. He even came to realize that he enjoyed the time he spent with the girl and her parents, especially as the elder Grangers treated him totally without prejudice, which made him wonder about the content of Miss Granger's letters, where he seemed to be featured on a regular basis. What had the girl written about him? It couldn't have been overly negative, could it? Otherwise, those Muggles would have surely treated him with less friendliness and hospitality. But he guessed it could also as well have been an act on their side, as he had definitely tried to be as pleasant and friendly as possible. Going by their reactions it had worked, as the elder Grangers didn't have any qualms for inviting him back next week. Still, he’d be back at their house by tomorrow, without any of the family members even knowing and now that he knew them he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty about that.

With a sigh, he looked around his dark and dingy house at Spinner’s End. The contrast to the Granger’s warm and inviting home only made him realize, in what kind of shithole he allowed himself to live. Maybe it was time to make the place more habitable and if he cleared out the second bedroom upstairs, he could even make some space for one of those microscopes. Using them without Miss Granger’s assistance could not be too difficult, after all. 

Ssssssss

After only one day at home, Hermione felt herself getting cranky and nervous. Her parents encouraged her to spend as much time as possible outside and so Hermione retreated to her favourite reading spot in the garden. Already as a little girl, she had regularly climbed the cherry tree and spent most of her free time dreaming and reading at one of its thick branches. If she was lucky enough, there were sometimes also ripe cherries for her to eat and today was such a lucky day. Somehow her thoughts always drifted back to Professor Snape and her mind started replaying the time they had spent together in the last days. It was maddening. Suddenly Hermione remembered seeing him smile and how  _ strange _ she felt suddenly seeing him like that. Had it been all an act or was the Professor a totally different person, when he wasn’t surrounded by students he had to teach? The more time she spent with him the more she thought that the latter might be the case, as he had been civil with her during the last days and there was no reason for him to pretend. 

_ He must be very lonely _ , she thought and a moment later she found herself opening the book he had given her.  _ This book is the property of the Half-Blood Prince,  _ she read, furrowing her brows at the words. Why did the Professor call himself the Half-Blood Prince? Wasn't he a pureblood? Hermione had always thought so but why would he call himself by that name then? It didn't make any sense. With a sigh, she realized that she hardly knew anything about him, apart from the obvious. She only knew that he was a reformed Death Eater that now worked for the Order, but slowly she started to realize that there was so much more to the man. Wouldn't it be worth finding out what was behind the man's snarky facade?

With a smile, she turned back to the book on her lap and turned the page. Its backside was packed with notes in the familiar spiky handwriting that so often covered her essays. Here it covered every inch of the page and before Hermione knew it she had started reading. Halfway through the introduction to his revised copy of "Advanced Potion Making", she found herself smiling while imagining a much younger version of the man, scribbling away in his common room. Yes, Professor Snape was a very private man, but he might have just willingly given her a way to get to know him better anyway. 

Ssssssss

It was evening when Hermione finally closed Professor Snape’s book on potion making and let herself fall into bed. Somehow, it had been a long tiring day, with her parents bugging her about her accident and about stories of romantic adventures, that were simply non-existent. Especially her mum was convinced that there had to be something romantic going on in her daughter’s life, and even though Hermione had considered Ron in that way, the boy’s immaturity had put her off that idea not long after. It wasn’t like any of them shared her interest in reading or books and if they did like for example Thomas Miller, they mostly were sleep-inducingly boring. So no, there was no boy- or girlfriend in Hermione’s life, no matter how often her mum asked about it with a seemingly knowing gaze. She could only hope that her parent’s curiosity would calm down in a few days, otherwise she would go mad. And she didn’t fancy spending her time in France with painfully awkward conversations that somehow gave her the impression that she was simply different than other teenagers. 

_ One day I’ll find somebody or I’ll simply have ten cats and I’ll live happily with them, owning a bookstore _ , she thought and carefully put the Professor’s book on her nightstand.  _ Or I’ll end as a Hogwarts Professor like him, _ she added realizing that she probably wasn’t the only lonely person in this world. 

Just then a soft knocking on her window pulled her out of her thoughts and Hermione scrambled to her feet, expecting Hedwig or another owl. Instead, there was a black raven on her window sill, staring at her with black, intelligent eyes and offering her a small package he carried in its beak. Hermione looked at the animal with a smile. She had a guess whose animal that was.

"Let's see what you're having for me," she mumbled and accepted the small parcel before she absently stroked the bird's feathers. For a moment she could have sworn that the black messenger even leaned into her touch and she used the observation as an excuse to pet him once again.

“You really are a beautiful bird,” she mumbled before taking the package with her to the bed. There she set down and unwrapped two small potion bottles as well as a short letter. With a smile she started to read: 

_ “In order to ensure your wound healing properly, I recommend prolonging your medication for another two weeks. SS” _

"Well, that doesn't say much," she mumbled and eyed to two phials interestedly. She knew them from her time at the hospital wing, as she had taken them on a daily basis for several days now. It was only logical that she would have to take them a bit longer, wasn't it? Only that the poor Professor was now forced to spend even more time brewing for her. Well, she'd just have to make it up to him after the holidays, she told herself, opening her desk to take out a fresh piece of parchment and a quill. The least she could do was write him a thank you note, she decided just as her eyes fell on his book, resting on her nightstand. And maybe she could also ask him about his modifications on the Aging Solution discussed on page 4. Because somehow she felt that after such a tiring day she could really use some intellectually stimulating conversation, even if it was through a letter.

Sssssssss

Four days of carrying letters back and forth and Miss Granger didn't have any idea that he, in fact, was the black-feathered messenger. He rarely used his animagus transformation as there usually was no reason for him to. But now that he needed a chance to visit the girl his rusty Animagus transformation was the perfect solution. He did not fly all the way to Surrey, just apparated to a place close enough to her home, where he transformed and then flew the rest of the way. He figured out that seeing her once a day was enough when he stayed long enough, often even receiving an affectionate stroke of his feathers. Severus had come to secretly enjoy those short moments, even though his subconsciousness punished him later for his weakness. He meticulously kept track of everything, the time he spent with her, his heart rate during their encounters and even the small tidbits he could learn about the girl, that was supposed to be his kindred spirit - no matter what Albus said, this term was much more usable than the other one. The only problem was her cat. The orange beast stalked him whenever he entered her room and stared at him with yellow, intelligent eyes. Whenever his mistress stroked Severus feathers, he could see the cat creep closer, until it was one day right next to him and Miss Granger, pressing his flat nose against his beak. It took all of Severus’ willpower not to flinch back or flee and instead stare back unblinkingly, because he knew that a stroke of the beasts claw could seriously hurt him while he was transformed. It didn’t though and instead licked his beak a moment later, showing its approval of him. And even though it was just a stupid cat, Severus could not help but feel pride for being approved.

“You’re a clever one, aren’t you?” the little witch told him, while he sat on her desk watching her write her next letter. He had started to read them upside down from there, watching Miss Granger’s fingers casually stroking her wild curls behind her ears almost constantly. “Very much like your owner I guess.”

He couldn’t answer her of course, so he just blinked before continuing to stare at her.  Still, her words of praise made his heart swell with pride. Usually, people did not tend to like him, let alone say something nice about him. But this young witch just did.

“I’m really looking forward to seeing him again, you know? I’ve started to like him, now that I’ve started to know him better,” she admitted, her eyes drifting towards his old potions book. “I know this is just a textbook, not some sort of diary. Still, I’ve learned so much about him through it and I still have so many more questions. But I’ll probably never get the chance to ask them, will I?”

She sighed and put the quill aside, before rolling up the sheet of parchment and fixing it, so that he'd be able to comfortably carry it in his beak. She never wrote anything personal, just kept asking questions about several potions or the occasional spell he had invented during his sixth year. He had come to enjoy these little discussions on paper, but even more, he liked the silent monologues she had in front of his animagus form. 

"Can you take this to him?" she asked and smiled at him affectionately. He took the little scroll out of her hand, blinked and hobbled towards the window sill. Two strokes of his wings and he was gone, gliding through the night sky towards the next deserted alley. And unbeknownst to him, a pair of grey eyes followed him, before disappearing as soon as he was too far away to hear.

__


	9. Grave mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning ahead: this chapter contains violence and self-harm. There are no explicit descriptions but you will know what is happening, which might be enough to trigger you. So if you feel unsure about such things in any way, don’t read this. The first scene should be safe for you to read, afterwards, things get a bit ugly. Sorry about that, but it is an M rated story after all. 

Severus had barely returned home, when a knock sounded at his door, indicating that it must be a wizard or witch visiting him. Muggles usually rang the doorbell, in the rare case they decided to bother him. Unfortunately, the selection of possible visitors was pretty slim and he liked none of the options presenting themselves in front of him. Still, ignoring the knocking was not an option, as he would only make himself suspicious and considering his precarious situation that was simply not an option.

With heavy steps, he walked towards the door and opened it. In front of it was the almost last person he wanted to see in this world, accompanied by her less crazy, once beautiful sister Narcissa. Merlin, help him. This wasn’t just a casual visit. 

“Narcissa, Bella,” he greeted the two women neutrally and stepped aside. “Do come in.”

He led the two women into his living room. Narcissa followed him with a nervous expression on her face, while Bellatrix took in his simple quarters with a gleeful look in her grey eyes. There were only a handful of reasons for those women to visit him and none of them was particularly appealing. 

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" he finally asked after having offered them a place on the sofa and found that they preferred to stand. Narcissa was pacing the room nervously, while her sister's eyes were focussed on him, studying him like a tiger was watching its prey.

“I know I should not be here,” Narcissa started while finally stopping in front of him. She looked at him with a desperate expression in her eyes. “But I came to seek out your help, Severus.”

He looked at her with his head inclined in faked interest. “Is that so,” he said, focussing his eyes on her sister, who had started to go through his things. “Put it down Bella, we mustn’t touch what isn’t ours.”

The woman looked at him with a sneer, but Severus ignored her and returned his attention to Narcissa. From the corner of his eye, he could indeed see Bella putting the old trinket down, she had dared to touch.

“What kind of help is it you came to seek from me then?”

At that, the woman looked at him with something akin to panic. "The Dark Lord…" she started, her voice quivering with fear and probably unshed tears. “He gave Draco a task, a task he’ll never be able to accomplish. I know I shouldn’t even speak about this, as the Dark Lord has forbidden…”

He interrupted her with a dark expression. “If the Dark Lord has forbidden to speak about this, then you should not do so.”

He could feel Bellatrix’ eyes on him, could see her biting her lip in anticipation. Something was wrong here, he thought, as he could literally feel the invisible traps being placed all around him. There was no way those two were here without his master’s knowledge and if one considered Bella’s impatient behaviour this most likely meant that he was in serious trouble. 

“I know Severus,” Narcissa said, staring at him with huge eyes. "But Draco is just a boy. There is no way he can kill a wizard, like Albus Dumbledore.”

“He wasn’t supposed to know this,” her sister hissed, staring at her sister with a reproachful look in her eyes. “The Dark Lord has honoured you and your family by giving Draco such an important task, can’t you see this Cissy?”

The blonde woman shook her head, her eyes never leaving his. “Please Severus, you must help him. Promise me you will do it, if Draco is not able to,” she said, her voice suddenly winning strength. 

“You want me to kill Albus Dumbledore, even though I’m not even supposed to know of Draco's task?” he asked back, his eyebrow raised questioningly at the woman. “What makes you believe I will accept such a task, against the Dark Lord’s wishes I might add?”

“Draco is your godson, Severus,” Narcissa continued, staring at him like this was all the explanation he needed. It probably would have been, if he had any feelings for that boy. He looked at her with a stony expression on his face. He could see it clearly now, the way that was lying in front of him. This visit was nothing but a test, not by Bella or Narcissa, but probably by the Dark Lord himself. They expected him to accept the task, to kill the Headmaster, who was unbeknownst to them already dying from a curse that would slowly be eating him away. Dumbledore would want him to accept. He would prefer a clean and quick death instead of withering away by that blasted curse. The action would cement Severus's position within Voldemort's ranks and ensure that the bastard would be brought down one day. Albus would have loved the plan.

A few weeks back Severus would not even have hesitated to do it, as he no longer cared about himself or anybody for that matter. But now… Suddenly he saw Miss Granger's eyes, beaming at him with gratefulness. He saw her cursed flesh, remembered the feeling of her skin and the smell of her hair. He remembered their lively discussion and imagined that many more such encounters could follow in the future, given the chance. And suddenly he realized that he wanted this, whatever  _ this _ was. With the strange connection between them he could finally have something like happiness in his life, maybe not love, but with a bit of luck, camaraderie or even friendship. Killing Dumbledore would take this all away from him, as there was no way she would not hate him afterwards. He realized that being hated by her would probably rip him apart, not only because her Magic would probably punish him for such a betrayal, but because he had somehow already gotten attached to the girl. When had that happened? 

Severus stared at the blond witch in front of him with a cold expression. "Draco might be my godson, Narcissa, but I will never betray my master, not even for him," he said, knowing that he would probably come to regret his words soon. But it did not matter, not when he was faced with the prospect of losing what he didn't even know he wanted until now. Merlin, help him!

“I told you, you were wasting your time, Cissy,” Bellatrix hissed and stared at him with small eyes. “I told you he is a traitor. Refusing to kill Dumbledore only showed what I knew all along: Severus Snape is a dirty little traitor - a traitor that has gotten himself attached to a dirty little mudblood once more.”

Severus felt his innards freeze, realizing that he had indeed made a grave mistake. 

“Yes, I have watched you, Severus,  _ seen _ you visiting that little mudblood-whore,” Bella said, a gleeful smile on his face, while he started to circle him like the predator he was. “I’ve waited so long for this, I have watched you without finding proof for what you were. But I can’t say it wasn’t worth it, as I will enjoy killing that little slut before your eyes, before handing you over to the master.”

Severus saw her whipping out her wand, striking it in his direction like a snake attacking its victim. Time seemed to slow down for him, his brain still contemplating her promise while his body already started to react. He dodged Bellatrix's curse with a fluent motion, the bookshelf behind him erupting from the impact of the witch's Unforgivable. Killing her would have been the safest thing for him to do, as it would protect his secret and more importantly Hermione. But as soon as he spoke the first curse, Narcissa would turn against him as well and there was no way in hell of him killing an innocent woman. Severus Snape was not a killer, the Dark Lord hadn't made him one and neither would fucking Bellatrix Lestrange. 

Unfortunately for Bellatrix, Severus was a Slytherin at heart and he had long ago planned for things going south. With him being a spy in Voldemort’s ranks he had always considered the need for getting out at a moment’s notice and he had long ago prepared for that possibility. One word from his lips was enough to activate the portkey, he always wore in the form of an invisible bracelet around his wrist. He was whisked away a moment later, leaving behind a murderous Bellatrix Lestrange and her wide-eyed sister.

Ssssssss

Severus landed on the floor of the house, he had set up for himself a long time ago. He'd never planned to actually use it, to turn his back on the Dark Lord, because doing so was downright suicidal. It would only be a matter of minutes until the Dark Lord learned of his betrayal and that's when the hunt for him and his torture would begin. There was no defecting from the Dark Lord, no hiding, at least not for long. Karkarov had learned this the hard way. The Dark Mark ensured that his master always knew where he was, which would make it easy to find him, once he had been sufficiently tortured through his connection with the Dark Lord. When his former master called him through the Dark Mark, it had mostly been a short, unpleasant burning, but over the time he had learned that Voldemort could inflict as much pain as he wanted to. He had seen other Death Eaters wind themselves on the floor, begging for mercy, as they had only done under the Cruciatus, which did not bode well for his immediate future. Severus had to get rid of that damned Mark and soon, because he did not fancy such a fate. He had suffered his fair share of torture and I did not plan on bearing another round. 

But there was really no pretty way of doing so. A few years ago he had tried to develop a potion that could burn the Mark and the connected spell out of his body. But as quitting his role as a spy never had really been an option, he had never actually brewed the potion, just noted the recipe somewhere in one of his notebooks. Brewing it now would take too long, as he barely had any time left as it was. 

Severus cursed. He'd have to do something, now, and the only thing that would work and came into his mind was cutting off his left arm. Even though he could seal the wound and regrow his arm with a potion later this would hurt  _ a lot _ . And brewing this potion would take time, probably weeks that he would have to live one-handed. Still, it didn't matter. Severus had withstood torture and he was sure he could take the pain and still cast the necessary healing spells afterwards. It wasn't like he had much of a choice anyway.

He took out his wand and weighed it in his right hand. There wasn't any reason for him to stall this, he thought. He could do this. And with a deep breath, he aimed his wand at his left arm, right below his shoulder.

Ssssssss

It was about an hour later when Severus dragged his sorry arse into Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts. His body was feeling numb from the amount of pain and healing potions he had drowned and he guessed he should regard himself lucky that he didn't splinch himself while apparating in his almost drunk state. But somehow he managed, probably due to years of experience, some of it gained while he could barely hold himself up from the pain the Dark Lord had inflicted on him during a meeting.

Dumbledore sat behind his desk when he stumbled into the man’s office, his blue eyes serious and somehow old. The man looked at him with a grave expression on his face and Severus could see his eyes travel towards the part of his body that was now lacking his left arm. 

“Do you have her?” the man asked, his voice sounding strangely hopeful. Still, Severus could not really contemplate what he was saying, probably due to his intoxicated state.

“Have her? Who are you talking about, Albus?” he found himself asking and saw the man’s face turn confused. Again he found the man’s scrutinizing gaze on himself, before he finally said:

“I’m talking about Miss Granger, of course. I hoped you might have felt something from her and gotten her out in time.”

"Gotten her out?" Severus found himself repeating, before his head started contemplating Albus's words. And then it dawned on him, that Bellatrix might have actually taken a detour before going back to her master. He looked at the man in horror. How could he have forgotten about the girl and Bellatrix's tread concerning Miss Granger?

“What happened?” he asked, his voice strangely hoarse, while he felt his intestines clench in fear.  _ Dear gods have mercy, _ he prayed, awaiting the Headmaster's words. 

He could see the man's gaze turn pitiful. "About ten minutes ago I received the news that the Dark Mark was spotted in the sky above a muggle home," he said gravely. He didn't have to say any more. Severus knew that the house was Miss Granger's house as he knew that Bellatrix had been the one casting the Dark Mark. What else had she been casting? Was the girl even still alive? "The message has come directly from Tonks, so it can be trusted. It is Miss Granger's house. Nymphadora says it has been destroyed but there was no evidence of the elder Grangers or the girl, which is why I hoped you got them out in time.”

Severus stared at the man in front of him, while his legs threatened to buckle from the misery that slowly took hold of him. He’d done it again, he had mucked things up. If he had only told the girl they would have found a better way to keep contact, so that he wouldn’t have to fly to her home - repeatedly. Severus had been the one painting a target on her back before showing the mad Black-sister exactly where to find her prey. Merlin, he was going to be sick! If something happened to the girl, he was never going to forgive himself, or even look into the mirror again. Because his own face was the last he wanted to see right now. 

“Now, now, my boy. We won’t give up hope just yet,” Albus said, his voice soothing. Do sit down and tell me what happened to you. Maybe we can figure out what happened to your girl," he said and Severus didn't even feel like correcting the old man in his wording. Instead, he took a deep breath and told his story, Albus listening to him with calm, blue eyes. 

  
  
  
  



	10. Fire and smoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends. I’m glad you’re still following me on my journey to write Severus and Hermione into a pairing. I worked very hard to be able to give you this chapter as soon as possible. Your motivating comments have definitely helped to make me write faster. ;-) Enjoy.

This morning Draco had thought, his life could not get any shittier. That was before his mother and aunt Bella returned from their little excursion to his godfather’s house - an excursion that would probably cost all of them dearly. His mother explained to him what happened in hushed tones, while her sister had rushed into what had once been their ballroom to inform their master of their failure and, more importantly, Severus Snape’s betrayal. Draco could pinpoint the exact moment when the news was received as his master’s cold livid voice rang throughout the manor making the hairs on his arms stand up in alarm. A moment later a sharp burning of his Dark Mark signalled that he was called and with him probably every single Death Eater there was. It should not have been a surprise. Severus Snape had been one of the Dark Lord’s most trusted Death Eaters, a man whose loyalty had been almost a given. Losing him - or better realizing that it had all been an act - was something the Dark Lord would want to discuss and Draco didn’t mean in a nice way.

His legs felt heavy while he walked down towards the Throne Room, his meagre options presenting themselves before him with growing clarity. His task to get Albus fucking Dumbledore had just gotten even more impossible, not that it hadn't been difficult enough already. But now that his mother had gone blabbering about things she wasn’t even supposed to talk about - to a traitor nonetheless - Draco had another obstacle on his way. Severus Snape was aware of his task to kill the Headmaster and by now he had probably shared his knowledge with the man himself. If he had, it would be impossible for Draco to fulfil the task he had been given, as there was no way Albus Dumbledore would just stand by and watch him while he attempted to assassinate him - not that Draco had any experience in killing anybody, to begin with. He did not want to kill the Headmaster but Draco did not need to see the Dark Lord's livid face to fear for his family in case he turned his back on the Death Eaters or failed in his attempts. There would be no saving his mother and father from torture and death and the downfall of the Malfoy name would be an inevitable consequence. But if there was something Draco valued more than his own life, it was his family. He had to save his parents, no matter the costs. But how?

The key to this question was Severus Snape - the traitor, but also his godfather. His betrayal was both fortunate and unfortunate for him. If Draco attempted to kill Dumbledore, the man would be his worst nightmare and there was no way he could succeed. That left him with two options: Option A was to assess the man’s loyalty towards himself and his family. If there was any chance he could trust him, he could always seek out the man’s help. Because his godfather’s betrayal showed one thing: it _was_ possible to betray the Dark Lord. Uncle Severus had done it for years after all. If there was someone understanding his situation and being able to help him out of this mess then it was Severus Snape. If Draco found he could not be trusted then there was always option B. Killing Dumbledore would not be possible for him as long as Snape had an eye on him. But maybe he did not have to, to save himself and his family from the Dark Lord’s wrath. Because there was another man Lord Voldemort wanted to see dead now quite desperately - Severus Snape. True, his chances for killing him weren’t much bigger than for killing Dumbledore but the man was his godfather and maybe still trusted him to a certain extent. And this was an advantage he could use - one way or the other.

When Draco finally entered the Throne Room most of the other Death Eaters were already assembled. His aunt Bella was lying at the Dark Lord’s feet shivering with what could be fear or delight - with her it was always difficult to tell. He took his place in the back of the room, right next to his father, who was only a shadow of his former self. Lucius Malfoy had once been a proud strong man but after disappointing his master in the Department of Mysteries his pride had been substituted by fear and submissiveness. Even though Draco was disgusted by his father’s sudden weakness he could understand as he had been there for most of his punishments. Draco kept seeing the images whenever he closed his eyes at night, kept hearing his screams and pleas whenever the room fell silent. Lord Voldemort had broken his father into pieces and no matter how thoroughly he was put together afterwards, the cuts and breaks would always stay visible for anybody watching closely enough. 

“It has recently come to my attention that there was a traitor amongst ussss,” the Dark Lord’s cold voice rang through the room and brought him back to his current miserable situation. “Severus Snape has not only decided to turn his back on us, but he was also found to have betrayed us for years, while secretly being Dumbledore's dirty little spy. Tell me, how was it possible for him to do so without anyone but Dear Bella suspecting a thing?"

He looked at them all, small red eyes digging into their heads looking for answers. None of his followers dared to reply, each of them being aware that there was no right answer to their lord’s question and so Lord Voldemort finally continued: “Is it maybe because Severus Snape was not the _only_ traitor amongst us? Who else of you is serving another master, secretly betraying everything we stand for?”

Distrustful red eyes roamed the room looking for any sign of betrayal or weakness. Draco knew he had to appear strong even though he could clearly see the tremors that started to run through his father's hand. Still, his master's eyes came to rest on him a moment later.

“Draco,” the Dark Lord said, staring at him calculatingly. “It has been brought to my attention that your mother decided to ignore my orders and seek out the traitor to ask for his help. How did that come to pass? Is it possible that your own mother does not believe in your abilities? Tell me Draco, are you able to do what I asked of you?” 

There only was one possible answer for him here because the consequences of him negating the Dark Lord’s question were none he was willing to bring over his family. “Yes, my Lord,” he said, bowing his head respectfully. “My mother acted without my knowledge. She should not have worried as I already have a few ideas." He lied, keeping his eyes on the floor. “I will not disappoint you.”

“See that you don’t,” his master hissed. “Or you and your family will learn what it means to disappoint Lord Voldemort.”

Draco nodded even though his innards turned to ice at the man’s words. Luckily the Dark Lord seemed to be finished with him as his eyes returned to the woman lying at his feet. 

"Now to you, Bella," he said, his voice suddenly sounding almost gentle. "You have done us a great service in exposing this dirty little traitor. As a reward, I give you the permission to hunt that dirty little Mudblood you told me about earlier. What was her name again?”

“Hermione Granger, Master.” His aunt said, much to Draco’s surprise. Hermione Granger? What had the mudblood done to gain his aunt’s interest?

“Ah, yes, Miss Granger. Do with her and her dirty Muggle-parents as you please, as long as they are dead afterwards." The snake-faced man said, an evil smile on his lips. “Play with them as long as you want, my Dear. You deserve to be rewarded for your services.”

"Yes Master, thank you, Master," Bellatrix replied, her voice sounding almost aroused. For a moment Draco felt almost sorry for the girl. Her death would not be a quick one that was for sure. 

“Now to the rest of you,” the Dark Lord continued, his eyes travelling through the room. “I want that traitor, Severus Snape, dead. Whoever brings me his corpse will be greatly rewarded. Kill that bastard,” he hissed, his voice getting louder and more aggressive, “and bring me his remains. Whoever does so, will be granted a wish, _any wish_ as long as it is in my abilities to fulfil it.” 

Draco looked around the room and saw several Death Eaters murmur in excitement. He was sure that more than one of them already made plans on how to kill Severus Snape. How much time did he have to make up his mind about his own plans? Would the man ever still be alive when the new school year started? Draco didn’t know which meant he would have to be ready to quickly adjust his plans. For now, he would start reading up on several things, most importantly Occlumency. Because whatever path he chose in the end, this would be the skill he would need most in the year that followed.

Ssssssss

Severus told the Headmaster about Bellatrix’s and Narcissa’s visit and relayed their conversation as carefully as possible to him. Dumbledore listened to his words silently and did not flinch or even comment when he told him of his decision to leave the Dark Lord’s ranks and therefore give up his position as Dumbledore’s spy. When Severus finally explained his decision to cut off his arm, Albus only nodded, his gaze understanding and yet disappointed. After the potions master finally finished his tale, he could hear the old man sigh and say: 

“I understand your decisions, Severus. You found yourself on a crossroad in your life, as you now have something to live and fight for. After you decided to end your service for the Dark Lord, you were suddenly under a lot of pressure and ridding yourself from the Dark Mark most likely saved your life and sanity. But still… More than ever I now wish you had told the girl about the link between the both of you. She will have felt your pain and will not even have had any idea what happened to her."

Severus stared at the Headmaster with wide eyes. The man was right! Merlin, how could he have forgotten that not long ago he had felt Miss Granger being cursed, that he had felt her pain as if it had been his own? The pain he had inflicted on himself had been so much worse and she had probably felt it all. It hadn’t even needed Bellatrix to torture the girl, as he had already done so himself. 

Severus looked at the Headmaster in desperation. “We have to find her, Albus. If she is still alive, we need to rescue her, get her back,” he said, fully aware how frantic he sounded. Severus did not care. He needed the man’s help and he needed it _now_. 

Albus looked at him with calm, blue eyes. “Listen into yourself, Severus, _concentrate_. You have a connection with the girl. If she is indeed alive, you should be able to tell. Maybe you can even find her..."

He looked at the man with a sigh and did as he was told. But it was of no use. His senses were blurred by all the potions he had taken, rendering him unable to feel… Well, anything. Or was it because the girl was no longer alive? He shook his head, fear gripping his insides once more. Had fate been so cruel to take Miss Granger from him before he even had the chance to get to know her?

“It is of no use, Albus. Right now I can hardly feel my limbs, let alone someone who’s most likely hundreds of miles away,” he said gloomily. “Is there nothing else we can do?”

At that, Albus Dumbledore looked at him with blue, reassuring eyes, before he nodded. “Don’t worry, my boy. If your Miss Granger is still alive, Fawkes will find her,” he said and called for his phoenix. The majestic creature appeared between them a moment later and listened attentively to the words the headmaster whispered into his ear. Finally, the bird nodded and disappeared in a ball of flames and smoke, Severus’ heart beating heavily as he waited for any news - preferably good ones. 

Fawkes reappeared in the office only minutes later. Severus watched him land on the Headmaster’s desk, standing proud and tall in front of the man, before he leaned his feathered head against the man’s forehead. Severus guessed that some sort of communication was going on, as he saw Albus close his eyes in concentration. It took all his willpower to remain seated instead of pacing the office, but doing so would have probably broken the man’s concentration. And that was the last thing he wanted. 

Finally, after what felt like ages, he saw the man look up, his eyes looking at him in a way that gave him hope. "It appears Miss Granger and her parents are alive. Apparently, the girl is in a Muggle hospital. There do not seem to be any visible wounds, but she appeared to be unconscious,” he explained and immediately Severus jumped to his feet, causing the phoenix to jump in surprise. 

“In a Muggle hospital, you say? Sweet Salazar, we have to get to her. Who knows what they will do to her? I've heard Muggle tend to cut people open…” Gruesome pictures appeared before his eyes and Severus found himself shudder in horror. He needed to get the girl out, safe her from whatever fate he had brought over her. 

“Now, now, Severus,” Albus soothed him and carefully got up from his chair. “I am sure Miss Granger is not about to go into surgery,” he said and smiled knowingly. Severus wanted to choke him, but that probably would not be advisable, as he still needed the man to get him where he wanted to be. And somehow that was Hermione Granger’s side. 

“That may be as it is, but we still need to get her out and into safety. They will keep looking for her and I am not going to lose her, too,” he urged the man and earned himself an inquiring look.

“So you admit it?” Albus asked him, a knowing smile on his lips.

“Admit what?” Severus asked, slowly losing his patience.

“That you care for her,” Dumbledore answered. Luckily the man did not expect his immediate answer, as his phoenix jumped from the table in this very moment and started to fly in front of them. His schoolmaster grabbed one of the bird’s legs and Severus hurried to do the same. Only a moment later they were gone, disappearing in a ball of fire and smoke.

Sssssss

It could have only been seconds until Severus and Professor Dumbledore appeared in a dimly lit hospital room, causing the elder Granger’s to jump from their chairs in surprise. Severus could not fault them, as it had most likely been the first time, somebody appeared in front of them out of thin air, travelling with a phoenix. 

“What the… Professor Snape?” Severus heard Dan Granger say, before the man rushed towards him, a confused expression on his face. 

“Mr Granger, Mrs Granger,” Severus greeted back, his eyes involuntarily travelling to the motionless girl on the bed. She looked pale but seemed to rest peacefully and Severus would feel relief, if she hadn’t been connected to several scary looking muggle devices, her mouth and nose covered by some sort of transparent mask. “The Headmaster and I were informed there was some sort of emergency concerning your daughter,” he stated and focused the girl’s father with a serious expression. “We came to see if we could be of any assistance.”

It wasn't a lie, he thought and from the corner of his eye, he already saw Dumbledore nod in confirmation. Good, at least the man was playing along.

Emma Granger nodded and looked at them full of wonder and relief. “Professor Dumbledore, Professor Snape," she greeted them, stepping closer. "We are so glad you are here. Maybe you can help her. The doctors… they don't know what's wrong with her, you see? Hermione suddenly experienced terrible pain in her left arm… she’s been frantic. I’ve never seen her like that. We did not know how to contact you so we did the only thing that came into our mind: we called an ambulance.”

Severus nodded, guilt flooding him. All of this was his fault. “But why is shy unconscious then? Couldn’t they just give her something for the pain?” he heard himself ask, staring numbly at the silicon tube disappearing in Miss Granger’s arm. Those Muggles were barbaric.

This time it was Dan Granger answering him, his voice sounding grave: “They did, at first. But somehow it did not help. She just kept screaming and tossing, no matter what they gave her. So they finally knocked her out. They did brain scans, you know? The pain receptors in her brain are reacting like crazy, but physically there seems nothing wrong with her. We are at a loss.”

Severus wasn't. He knew exactly what had happened to her. If they woke her now, she probably wouldn't feel a thing, as he was drunk with potions and therefore without pain. But for some reason, he didn't think it would be advisable to tell the Grangers that bit of information. Instead, he said: "The Headmaster and I believe that this might be a magical issue. You see, your home has recently been under the attack of a wizarding terrorist group that has recently resurfaced. We believe that Miss Granger might have fallen victim to one of their curses.”

The Muggles stared at him with wide eyes. “She is cursed?” her mother said, while her father at the same time exclaimed: “We were under attack?”

Severus nodded. “As it looks calling the…” be searched his brain for the right word “ambulance and leaving your home might have saved your lives.” It was a big, fat lie, of course. But he remembered Miss Granger’s words well and he didn’t plan on them taking her from him. This simply wasn’t an option. 

The muggles looked at him with wide eyes, before Mrs Granger sagged on a chair, next to her daughter’s bed. “That is… what are we going to do now? Do we even have a home any longer?”

At that, the Headmaster moved forward and Severus silently prayed that the man would play along and not ruin the story, he had just sold them. Surely the man understood that they had to avoid causing a rift between those Muggles and the magical world, if they wanted the girl to stay in school?

“Your home can be easily restored with magic,” Albus Dumbledore said, his eyes looking at them with calm reassurance. "I will do so, as soon as Miss Granger is recovered and safe. I would advise moving her back to Hogwarts for the time being, as the castle has the strongest wards in wizarding Britain.”

Mr Granger looked at him with a doubtful expression on his face. “Do you think she might still be in danger?” he asked, looking back and forth between Severus and the Headmaster. 

“As far as I know those… terrorists aim their aggression towards non-magical people such as you,” Severus said, staring at the elder Grangers meaningfully. “But as long as we have not found out what has caused her such an amount of pain, we can not be sure. I would recommend relocating yourself to another country, until this unfortunate situation can be resolved. Miss Granger could always visit you using an international port key, while being able to finish her education at Hogwarts.”

Miss Granger’s parents looked at each other, a lost expression on their face. It was obvious that they were overburdened by the amount of new information and decisions they had to make. Albus seemed to have reached the same conclusion, as he said: "There is no need to decide anything right away. For the time being, I would like to invite you and your daughter to stay with us at the castle. It is usually inaccessible for non-magical people such as you, but as the Headmaster of the school it is within my rights to make exceptions."

The muggles looked at each other and even though Severus was pretty sure that they were incapable of mind-speech, some sort of conversation seemed to be going on between them, even though no words were exchanged. Finally, the woman sighed and said: "Alright, take us and Hermione to the castle then. Even though I am not sure how we can leave the hospital without causing a ruckus. It’s not like we could cause people to forget about us and Hermione’s strange condition.”

Severus’ heart was feeling much lighter already. He looked towards them with a grim smile and said: “Well, actually we can.”


	11. Hard truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends! I am blown away by your support and your words of encouragement. Thank you so much! Your support means the world to me! I am always interested in your thoughts on the chapter and your theories on what will happen in the story. As you may realize, things will be different here than in the books. What do you think will change? And what things should Hermione show her parents, now that they’re at Hogwarts? 

When Hermione awoke, she did not know where she was. The last thing she remembered was being rushed into the hospital, an excruciating pain in her arm threatening to eat her up. But this wasn’t a hospital room, she thought after opening her eyes, staring at the Gryffindor-red curtains of a richly decorated four-poster bed. This place somehow reminded her of Hogwarts, but this couldn’t be as she saw her parents sitting next to her bed, staring down at her with a worried expression on their faces.

“Mum? Dad?” she rasped out, her throat feeling dry and sore.

“Hello pumpkin,” her mum said, looking at her with a watery smile. “How are you feeling?

Hermione listened into herself and with relief, she realized that she wasn't in any sort of pain. But still... "I... I feel strange," she admitted, furrowing her brows, frustrated by her incapability to find a better word. It was like her brain was still somewhat foggy from all the medication, she had surely received in the last hours. "It's like I can't think properly and my arm now feels somehow numb."

"This might be due to the potions I gave you," a familiar but totally unexpected voice answered her, making her realize that her parents were not the only people in the room. Professor Snape loomed in a chair in the back of the room, while Headmaster Dumbledore was standing at the other side of her bed, looking at her with twinkling eyes and a kind smile. Somehow their presence only confused her even more. The Headmaster had never come to speak with her, not even after she had landed herself in the Infirmary, after her recent visit to the Department of Mysteries. Why was he here now, wherever  _ here _ was? The questions kept piling up in her head, but Hermione felt too tired to even start to make sense of any of this.

“What happened to me, Sir?” she finally asked, seeking out the old man’s blue eyes in confusion. The Headmaster looked at her with a reassuring smile.

“Ah, you will find that this is a rather complicated matter that I am sure Professor Snape will be able to explain to you, while I am showing your parents their temporary quarters at Hogwarts. They were unwilling to leave your side, as long as they could not be totally sure that you are well.”

So they  _ were _ at Hogwarts, Hermione thought foggily. She saw her dad nod at the Headmaster’s words, his face looking tired and drawn. Witnessing her being in so much pain must have been rather shocking and terrifying for both of her parents, maybe even more terrifying than for herself. 

“I already feel much better,” she assured her parents with a tiny smile on her face. “Professor Snape is brilliant with potions. He’ll have me up and healthy in no time. You’ll see.”

It wasn’t even a lie. Somehow she found that she trusted Professor Snape. If he was here and taking care of her, things were going to be alright, she thought.

Her mum looked at her with a little smile. “Alright, Pumpkin. If you’re sure we will go with Professor Dumbledore and get a bit of rest. The last hours have been a bit much, I admit.”

Hermione nodded. “Go ahead, I’ll be fine here. And who knows? Maybe I’ll soon be able to show you the castle?”

From behind she heard Professor Dumbledore chuckle. “I am sure this can be arranged, Miss Granger, but not today.” With that, he saw the man move towards the door and only then she caught a look at the man’s right hand. It was blackened and looked like it had been burned to a crisp. What had happened to him? He did not appear to be in pain, but Hermione was almost sure that this was the reason why he had recently been in need of Madam Pomphrey’s attention. She decided she’d ask Professor Snape or the Headmaster himself about it later. But right now, there were more important questions on her mind, questions she was desperate to get some answers for. 

Ssssssss

Miss Granger seemed… fine, for the most part. No matter how much pain she had been in, it had not broken her, as it had not broken him. Still, Severus was sure, that it had been the first time in her life, she experienced something comparable to torture and it pained him deeply to know, that he had been the one doing that to her, even if it had been unintended. 

Miss Granger silently watched her parents leave the room, before her gaze shifted towards him and she watched him stepping closer without saying a word. Somehow her silence unnerved him, as he had expected she would bombard him with questions right away. Instead, she seemed to wait until he started the conversation or did anything at all. But somehow he found himself at a loss for words. 

"I'm sure you have lots of questions," he said after clearing his throat and stepping closer, until he was standing right next to her bed. He saw her nod, but her facial expressions remained annoyingly hard to interpret. Then, suddenly the girl inclined her head, her caramel brown eyes staring right into his. She said: "For the start, I have just one. What happened to your arm, Professor?"

For a moment he felt like laughing, as she had picked the question he couldn't answer without answering the others first. But he'd have to tell her, wouldn't he? Severus looked at her with a sigh, before he found himself dragging a chair towards her bed and sitting down on it. Finally, he looked at her and said: "I quit my position as Dumbledore's Death Eater spy, because I was facing a rather impossible decision. My true allegiances are now known to the Dark Lord and you can imagine, that he is now trying to hunt me down. To make sure I couldn't be tracked or tortured through the Dark Mark, I had to remove it, rather quickly I might add."

She stared at him with an unnerving calmness. “What are you saying, Sir? To remove the Dark Mark you amputated  _ your whole arm _ ?”

He nodded affirmatively. “I did. I plan to regrow it later, but therefore I’ll have to brew a special potion, which is rather difficult to do with only one arm,” he admitted with an ironic smile on his face. “Fortunately you do owe me several hours of work in the lab, which might solve this unfortunate situation.”

Miss Granger did not answer, just contemplated his words with a serious look on her face. He forced himself to wait for her to finish her assessment of his words, even though he found her silence rather unsettling. 

“And Professor Dumbledore? What happened to him?” she finally asked, her voice totally calm. Somehow he had expected her to at least comment on his decision, but she didn’t. 

“That is not for me to tell you,” he replied, which was the truth. Dumbledore was very private about his condition, as he hadn’t even told Madame Pomphrey of the severeness of his injury. Severus understood. If it had been him dying, he hadn’t wanted the others to be aware of the situation either.

Miss Granger nodded, even though she did not really seem happy about his answer. But she knew better than to press him and Severus was thankful for it. “Sir? Professor Dumbledore implied that you are aware of what is wrong with me. Would you tell me?”

He nodded seriously, carefully deciding how much to tell her. "It is a rather complicated matter," he said looking at her with a solemn expression. "I am still trying to find all the answers myself, which is rather difficult, I have to admit. But it is safe to say that there seems to be some sort of ... connection between us. The Headmaster is convinced that it has to do with our magic being in tune, but unfortunately, such incidents are rather scarcely documented which has been rather unhelpful in researching this condition. It seems to be quite certain though, that you are able to feel the pain I experience and vice versa."

For a moment the girl seemed speechless and just stared at him with wide eyes. Again he forced himself to stay outwardly calm, even though his heart had started to beat agitatedly in his chest. He could only hope she would forgive him for having caused her such an amount of pain. 

“And the numbness I am feeling now? Is it a result of this… connection?” she asked, her face carefully studying his face. Why wasn’t she snapping at him, our shouting? She had to understand that he had been the one causing her this amount of pain. 

Severus nodded. "I am forced to take a rather large amount of potions right now, to keep myself functioning. I am afraid the numbness you are experiencing is a result of that. I apologize if that causes you any more inconvenience." Again, Miss Granger remained surprisingly calm and slowly Severus started to ask himself if that coolness was a result of the potions he had given her. It was possible, which meant that she would probably snap later. Still, he had to apologize for the pain he caused her, as she had suffered because of his idiocy. "I never intended to hurt you, Miss Granger, but the recent situation forced me to make some decisions rather quickly. I hoped I had handled the situation better, forgive me."

Her caramel brown eyes sought him out and for a moment she did not reply. But then her mouth turned into a shy smile and she said: “There is nothing to forgive, Professor. You were in an impossible situation, Sir, because of the work you did for the Order. All the pain I felt, you felt, too and maybe more. You did not hurt me on purpose, you did it because you had no other choice. I understand and I am thankful for everything you did for the Order. I never took your work for granted, Sir and I never got the chance to thank you properly for it. So, thank you, Sir.”

Severus stared at her in disbelief and as no fitting reply seemed to come to him, he simply acknowledged her words by nodding at her. It luckily seemed to be enough as she continued a moment later: “What about my parents, Sir? Why are they here? I somehow got the impression that Professor Dumbledore did not just invite them to be able to sit at my sickbed.”

He nodded gravely. "Indeed. As it appears your parent's house has been destroyed by a group of Death Eaters, while you were being treated in the muggle hospital. I believe the Headmaster promised to set the house back to its original condition, but for the time being, we encouraged them to stay at the castle."

It was the first time during their conversation, that the girl truly looked shocked and a moment later he could see her start to shiver. “I’ve almost lost them,” she mumbled, her eyes staring unseeingly at his chest. “And if they had died it would have been my fault.” She shook her head in disbelief. “I swear, I had no idea they were already in so much danger. Merlin, what am I going to tell them? How am I going to explain?”

Severus had the strange impulse to comfort her, but he resisted by clasping his robe tightly with his remaining hand. This was not the time to lose control over his body and touch her. “Professor Dumbledore and I already talked to them. They understand that the appearance of this… terrorist group has been a recent development. We also informed them that it would be advisable for them to leave the country, as Muggles seem to be the main target of the Death Eaters, while we assured them that you would be perfectly safe behind the wards of the castle. They let us believe that they were considering this proposal, but I expect them to want to talk to you about the situation first.”

“I don’t know what to say, Sir,” Miss Granger said. Severus found that her eyes suddenly were full of gratitude and a warmth, that he had not expected to see during that conversation. “I have feared this conversation with my parents for years and now you just… thank you, Sir. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

Her eyes shone with a sincerity that warmed his heart and before he could avoid it, a small smile spread on his lips. “Don’t thank me yet, girl,” he said and got to his feet. “You’ll have enough time for that once they decide to leave without you, if that is even what they will be deciding. For now, try to rest. Your body needs time to recover, as does mine."

It was the truth. Severus could slowly feel the effect of the potions lessen and he wanted to take a new dose, to prevent the girl from being committed to his pain again. 

Miss Granger nodded. “Good night, Sir,” she said, a soft smile on his lips. “And don’t worry. We will find a way to undo this strange connection between us. We can look into it, as soon as we are both recovered.”

He nodded, even though his innards turned to ice at her words. Severing that connection was the last thing he wanted, but of course, he could not tell her that.

Sssssssss

Severus had never been a big fan of Order meetings, but today he wished he could be anywhere else instead of the stuffed kitchen at Grimmauld Place, with several redheads and a bunch of other idiots gawking at him and his missing appendage. The noise in the kitchen was almost deafening, everyone around him speculating what might have happened to his arm. It was no wonder the Headmaster had to raise his voice, to finally make those idiots shut up.

"I've called you here, because there have been some unfortunate developments today," Albus said, and one by one the ten assembled Order members fell silent and looked at him with wide, anxious eyes. "First of all, Severus has faced a seemingly unbreachable obstacle that made him resign from his position as a spy and therefore leave Voldemort's inner circle of Death Eaters."

Those words were all it took, to let the room erupt in chaos again. Merlin! Those adults were worse than a bunch of Hogwarts students sometimes.

“You defected ! ?”  Was exclaimed throughout the room in either incredulity or surprise.

Severus stared the lot of them down, his face an expressionless mask. He calmly waited until the first bouts of surprise had died down, before he explained in an almost bored tone: “I was recently presented with the task to kill the Headmaster, a task I found myself unwilling to agree to. Therefore I turned my back on the Dark Lord, with the unfortunate side effect of losing my arm in the decision to rid myself of the Dark Mark.”

"Wicked!" the terrible two exclaimed behind him, making him roll his eyes at their naiveté. Of course, they would think him saving his arse by cutting off his arm was a great prank against the Dark Lord or something equally stupid. Gryffindor idiots!

"Oh, Severus!" Molly exclaimed to his right and before he grasped her intention, the woman put her clammy hand on his shoulder, probably in the hope to comfort him. "You did the right thing, of course. None of us blames you for your decision and if there is anything we can do for you…"

"Want some extra hands in the potions lab Professor? Forge and I wouldn't mind," one of the twins said mischievously as some people snickered at their joke.

"How kind of you to offer Messers Weasley. I will gladly take you both up on your offers," Severus purred dangerously. He turned to Arthur. "You wouldn't mind ensuring your sons floo over to the school every day for the rest of the summer would you? I am sure making fun of someone who just cut off an arm to not have to kill the Headmaster is something you and your wife would never condone."

Fred and George had turned green by now as they saw the looks both of their parents were sending them.  But Severus was not finished. “I might not really need your help with  _ brewing potions _ , as the two of you were next to useless in class. But you do have quite a bit of experience with scrubbing cauldrons, a task I currently find myself unable to complete with just one arm.” 

They slowly seemed to realize that they may have screwed up. Good. He’d teach those idiots a lesson, a lesson that he was not to be joked about. Never again he would be the victim of humiliation, he’d had enough of that in his youth. 

“But we can’t!” one of the redheads, probably George, protested and stared at him with wide eyes. “We’ve got the shop to take care of now.” 

"You should have thought about that before you made fun of your poor Professor," Molly scolded them angrily. "He's risked his life for  _ years  _ and for that he deserves your recognition. Apologize to him, at once.”

“We’re sorry, Sir,” they chorussed, looking properly scolded. “We never meant to insult you.”

He looked at them with a raised brow, before he sighed. “You better not,” he growled, before he focussed his attention back on the gawking crowd. The Weasleys and Minerva had followed their exchange with unhidden interest, but now they seemed to remember the cause of this Order meeting and focussed back on Dumbledore. The man studied him for a moment and as he found that Severus did not want to say anything more he continued: “With Severus’s true allegiances exposed we have unfortunately lost our most important source of information concerning Voldemort and the ongoings of his Death Eaters. It will be one of our utmost goals to come up with an alternative strategy now, that we are unable to predict what his next moves in this war might be.”

Several Order members nodded, Moody, looking moodier than ever. "That's a heavy blow for us, Albus. We need to start recruiting again and we need another source of information or else it's only a matter of time until they hand us our arses…" he growled and Severus silently agreed. The whole situation was a mess, a mess that was basically his fault. But what would have been the alternative? They would have been even more pissed, if he had killed Albus, even though the man was already destined to die anyway. But that small piece of information the old goat of course kept to himself. Foolish old man, solely relying on him and his information until now! They should have started recruiting a year ago, when the Dark Lord stepped out of a god-damned  _ cauldron _ . Had Albus really thought Severus would spy for him to the bitter end? Because the likeliness of him getting killed in his position as a spy in the course of the war, was staggeringly high. But maybe Albus hadn’t cared about that, because his death would have been for the “Greater Good” or something equally moronic.

“Unfortunately, my friends,” Dumbledore said, his voice raised as to get all of their attention, “those were not the only news I have for you. Earlier today, there has been a Death Eater attack in a Muggle neighborhood, affecting our dear Miss Granger and her parents.” Again, there were shouts of sorrow and disbelief, most of them coming from the Weasleys. Molly let out something like a wail whereas the twins suddenly looked ashen, probably realizing that this was a  _ war _ and they had just signed up to be soldier s  in it. 

“They got Hermione?” one of them said, staring at Dumbledore for confirmation. 

The old man shook his head with a grandfatherly smile. “Luckily, Miss Granger and her parents were not harmed in the attack. They are currently at Hogwarts, recovering from the shock and figuring out what to do.”

Again, there was murmuring, but this time it was much calmer than before. Still, Severus could tell that especially the newer Order members looked somewhat shaken. No wonder. None of them had been there during the last war. Towards the end, there had been at least one Death reported during each meeting, with their members dying or getting tortured into insanity left and right. He could only hope, that it would not be the same this time, because those idiots had no idea what they had signed up for. 

The meeting slowly wound down afterwards, as only minor topics were left to be discussed. He could tell, that Dumbledore would need some time to come up with an alternative to having Severus as a willing pawn and spy, and for a moment Severus felt sorry for having disappointed the old man. But then, he remembered Miss Granger, lying in this huge bed, white as a sheet. He had other priorities now, priorities Dumbledore would have to learn to respect. He would not let the old man ruin his life by letting himself be manipulated into doing something that he would come to regret later. Because Severus had done enough idiotic, self-sacrificing things to last him a lifetime. 

Half an hour later the meeting was over and even though most of the other Order members stayed behind for a short chat, Severus could not wait to get back to the castle. It had nothing to do with the fact that the girl was there, he usually steered clear of small-talk wherever he could. But today, he had no such luck.

“I wish Siri u s was still here,” Lupin said as he suddenly appeared in front of him. Severus looked at him with a scowl, but before he could reply something, the werewolf continued. “He’d owe me ten galleons, you know? The idiot always believed you were secretly a traitor and made me take a bet. Idiot. I knew you were on our side,” Lupin said, looking at him with a rueful expression. “I wish he’d been around to see that he was wrong about you.”

Severus looked at his former enemy with a cool expression. “Black was never very good in judging people’s loyalties, as him suggesting Pettigrew as a secret keeper for Lily showed.”

Lupin stared at him with a sad expression. “You’ve never forgiven him for that mistake, have you?” he asked and shook his head before Severus could reply. “Me neither.” With that, he offered him his hand. “If there’s anything I can do, Severus, let me know. I am forever in your debt, and not just because of the Wolfsbane you made for me. Not all of them might realize what it cost you to work as a spy for Dumbledore, but I do. And I’ll never forget it,” he swore, his eyes full of emotion. 

Severus's first instinct was to sneer at the man's sentimentality, but giving it a second thought he decided against it. Instead, he accepted the man's offered hand with a nod. "Indeed," he replied, shook the man's hand and stepped away. That was when his eyes fell on Fred and George Weasley, who stood in the back of the room discussing animatedly while [ inconspicuously ](https://dict.leo.org/englisch-deutsch/inconspicuously) looking in his direction. He carefully stepped closer.

"I tell you, Georgie, this will be a hit," one of them murmured with a crooked grin. "We'll call them Limb Limbos. There are enough people out there missing a limb. Imagine you could restore it for one day, only being left the surprise that you could also end up with a tentacle or a horse leg instead." The redhead snickered. "By chopping off his arm Snape probably set a new trend amongst the Death Eaters. I bet most of them did not even consider that option until now. But with the war continuing there could soon be a growing market for our Limb Limbos, don't you think?"

The both of them snickered and Severus felt his hackles rise. Those idiots. During the meeting, he had considered letting them get away with their idiocy but now he realized, that it was probably time to teach them a lesson - a lesson both of them would not forget anytime soon.


	12. On how to think outside of the box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends! Here is another chapter for you. Thank you again for the support and love you are giving this story. By now I can tell, that it will be much longer than I first planned. I hope you don't mind. ;-)

After a long nap, Hermione could feel her world slowly set itself right. The pain she had experienced yesterday - or has it even been yesterday? - had been terrifying, but knowing that she had shared it with Professor Snape, as it had originally been his, helped her to at least comprehend what had happened to her. And with her growing understanding the fear that had gripped her slowly disappeared. So she was in some way magically connected to Professor Snape. This was odd, but since she had entered the magical world, Hermione had experienced even more extraordinary things, being petrified by a gigantic Basilisk roaming the castle was only one of them. In comparison, that particular experience being connected to a grumpy Potions Professor did not even unsettle her … much. Especially now, that he had openly broken with You Know Who and even amputated his arm to be rid of the madman, there was really no question about the man's allegiances, so there was really nothing to worry about, right? And it wasn't like Professor Snape wouldn't fervently search for a solution to their problem, because Hermione could imagine he wanted to be linked to her as little as she wanted to be magically linked to him. He would probably fervently look for a solution and Hermione was glad. Who wanted to be magically linked to another person, if that meant having to share their pain but nothing else. But had the Professor actually said that? Could it be that they also shared other feelings? Or magic? What if they did? Would the benefits maybe even be worth keeping that strange connection? Possibly, but Hermione guessed that depended very much on the costs. Maybe it would be worth asking Professor Dumbledore about it, as he obviously had been the one talking to Professor Snape about their condition.

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposure:_ ** _ 2 hours, 54 minutes, 55 seconds _

**_Physical interaction_ ** _ : none _

**_Observations:_ **

__

_ How could I forget that the girl would be able to feel the pain I was experiencing, when cutting off my arm? It was a foolish mistake that has forced me to admit certain aspects of that strange condition to her. Luckily she took the news well, even though she voiced the wish to undo said connection. Lately, I find myself more and more unwilling to do so, as I have gotten used to the positive aspects of this strange condition. _

_ If all goes well, her parents will leave her at the castle and as I am forced to seek refuge here too, for the time being. It will be much easier to expose myself to her here, without behaving suspiciously. Utilizing her for the purpose of brewing a restorative potion for my arm will only be one way of keeping in touch with her from now on.  _

_ After departing the girl's room, I directly went to the library and checked out all the books only marginally relevant for researching our condition. This way I can assure that she only learns as much as I need her to. Too much knowledge about certain aspects would surely only unsettle her. _

Severus stared at his notes with a sigh. He had tried to put the last hours down as rationally as possible, even though it got harder and harder for him to do so. Seeing the girl in this weakened and unconscious state had been… challenging for him, especially as he could not allow himself to show his concern. It would have been strangely out of character for him and considering what an old  crooked- nosed fool Dumbledore was and that her parents were now around to watch them, he had to be very, very careful. First and foremost, he had to make sure the Headmaster kept his mouth shut. Severus knew the man's tendency to chatter only too well and it was only a matter of hours or days, until Miss Granger would seek him out in the hope to gain some more answers from him. Severus had to make sure the old fool did not scare her away with tales of white, love-based magic or equally terrifying stuff. Because this would be the most direct way to send the girl packing and leaving with her parents, only to realize that there would be no running from him, as fate seemed to have chained her to him. And he would prefer to spare the girl the heartbreak that realization brought with it. The girl was a teenager for Salazar's sake and being shackled to a man that could actually be her father was just… not what she probably wanted. Not that this whole mess meant that they would have to end up together… romantically speaking, as even maintaining a friendship would probably be challenging enough - and difficult for her to explain to her other friends.

Severus sighed. This whole situation was a mess. Still, he realized that the thought of seeing Miss Granger again made him almost happy, especially now that he would be able to talk to her again as the girl recovered and he would not be trapped in his animagus form. Depending on how she felt, they could maybe even start brewing his potion, which would mean that they would spend a significant amount of time together, doing the thing he loved most - brewing. And the thought alone of this happening soon made him almost giddy with anticipation.

Sssssssss

“So this is where you’re having breakfast every morning,” her mum said  while staring speechlessly at the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall. Hermione was thrilled that she was well enough the next morning to eat her breakfast down there and not in the infirmary or her new private room, like she feared she would have to. She was joined not only by her mum and dad, but also Professor Snape, Hagrid, Madame Pomphrey, Mr Filch and even Professor Dumbledore. To her surprise, she felt completely fine the next day, as even the strange numbness she had felt before had vanished. Now, that her curse wound had properly healed, she felt better than she had in quite some time. As if that wasn't enough to make her feel happy, her parents were at Hogwarts,  for  a visit she'd never even allowed herself to dream of. Usually, the castle was protected against Muggles, even if they were a student's parents and she could not believe how lucky she was, for the Headmaster having made such an exception for them.

"You should see this place at Christmas or Halloween," Hermione gushed and from the corner of her eye, she could see the Headmaster smiling. "It's truly breathtaking. If Professor Dumbledore does not mind I would love to show you everything!"

Professor Dumbledore chuckled. "I'm sure there will be enough time for that, over the course of the next few days. Did you and Professor Snape already discuss the possibility of you helping him to prepare his potions?"

Hermione nodded, casting a quick look at her former potions Professor, who had been completely silent throughout the meal. “I agreed to help him, but we did not discuss the timeframe yet,” she answered, focussing back on Professor Dumbledore. “If it is alright with you, Sir, I would like to first talk to you though. Only if it isn’t too much of a bother, of course.”

The Headmaster looked at her with a kind smile. “On the contrary, Miss Granger. I find talking to such an intelligent student as yourself very refreshing. How about we have tea at my office around three? This would leave you with enough time to show off Hogwarts' excellent library to your parents and still assist Professor Snape, should he ask for it."

Hermione nodded eagerly, but she did not miss the dark look that Professor Snape bestowed on the Headmaster. Somehow she had the feeling that the man was not happy, though she had no idea why. 

Ssssssssss

Professor Dumbledore's office was a small miracle of its own. Hermione was fascinated by the various devices that were scattered on almost every surface, ticking and wiring away and spiking her curiosity. She wondered what they were all for, as their function was sometimes hard to even guess. Maybe she had the chance to ask the Headmaster later, but for now, there were more pressing questions on her mind.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet me," Hermione said, carefully sitting down on the cushioned chair he offered her. There were already two steaming cups of tea on his desk, together with a plate of biscuits that looked positively sinful. And even though she would usually have been careful ingesting too much sugar, she had lost some pounds during the last weeks, which made her decide that she would make an exception in her diet today.

"It's really no bother, my Dear. I'm sure you have a lot of questions," Professor Dumbledore said, looking at her with twinkling blue eyes. "You are in quite a special situation, after all."

Hermione nodded. “Professor Snape explained that we are forced to share each other’s pain until we can find a way to undo this strange connection between us. He couldn’t tell me much though, as this seems to be a rather unexplored area of magic.”

The Professor looked at her with something like pity and Hermione imagined it was because of the pain she had recently experienced. She could still remember it, but somehow it already started to blur and shift to the very back of her mind. And Hermione was thankful for it. “Was that all Professor Snape said?” he asked, his eyes imploring. 

Hermione nodded shyly. "There were lots of other things we discussed yesterday, and I imagine he was rather tired or in pain. He didn't say anything, but I could feel something wasn't quite right."

The Headmaster nodded with a sigh. “I think you might be right with that assumption, Miss Granger. So what is it I can do for you?”

Hermione thought or a moment. There was especially one question, Professor Snape would not be able to give her the answer for. “Sir, I don’t mean to pry, but what happened to your arm? It looks really painful and to be frank: Madame Pomphrey seemed to be really worried about you.”

The Headmaster looked at her, his eyebrows raised in surprise. He had probably expected she would ask him after Professor Snape, but Hermione got the feeling that the man would not appreciate being talked about behind his back. 

"Well, I happened to have come to the conclusion that trying on a cursed ring would be a good idea. I thought I had broken the curse but obviously, I was wrong."

Hermione stared at him with wide eyes. A cursed ring? Merlin. "It does not look like the curse could be broken, Sir." She said hesitantly and at that, the Headmaster's eyes seemed to turn serious. For a moment he seemed to consider his answer, as his eyes studied her for a long while without him saying a word. But finally, he took a sip from his cup and said: "No, it, unfortunately, could not. Professor Snape did the best he could and trapped the curse within my hand, therefore its blackened state. Unfortunately, it is only a matter of time before the curse spreads and therefore kills me. But Miss Granger, this information is not intended to leave this room."

She stared at the old man in shock, her head buzzing with the information he had just given her. Professor Dumbledore was going to die? How could he be so calm about this? Why wasn’t he looking for a cure or some other way out? “You are going to die, Sir?”

The old man nodded, a fatherly smile appearing on his face. "We all will, eventually. And believe me, when I say, I've lived a very long and full life."

Hermione listened to his words with disbelief and growing sadness. She did not know the Headmaster very well, but she doubted that she or Professor Snape had accepted that terrible fate without at least trying to fight back. And just when she thought about her Potions Professor, another thought occurred to her. "What if one decided to cut your arm off, Sir - I mean just theoretically. Would the curse remain trapped within your arm and therefore no longer be able to kill you?"

She saw the man's eyes regard her with a thoughtful expression, before his mouth suddenly twitched into a smile. "Well, it appears, sometimes it takes an extraordinary young mind to come up with the most simple and still effective solutions, Miss Granger. It is of course not sure if it would work, but as it appears you and Professor Snape are going to brew a potion to restore an arm anyway. Maybe you should make it a double batch."

Somehow Hermione had not expected this answer, but she was thrilled that thanks to her idea there maybe still was hope for the old, kind Headmaster. “I’m sure we can do that, Sir,” she replied eagerly, which caused the Professor to smile even wider. “Shall I go and see Professor Snape right away?”

Albus Dumbledore chuckled. “I suggest you take your parents for a long walk around the Black Lake, Miss Granger, while I will talk to Professor Snape. I am sure he will be happy to meet you after dinner.”

Hermione nodded. “Of course, Sir. Tell me if there is something else I can help you with,” she said, before getting up from her chair. She realized that she hadn’t even touched the biscuits, even though she had very much planned to do so. 

"Shouldn't it be the other way around, Miss Granger?" Professor Dumbledore asked her, his eyes twinkling. "Usually it is the Professor's job to take care of the students. But I see that with you, it can also be the other way around."

He smiled and Hermione nodded. Somehow she had the impression that he was not only referring to himself, even though she had no idea who else he could mean. But it did not matter, because Professor Dumbledore was right: she really liked taking care of others.

Still, there was one problem, she would indeed need the Professor's help with. "Sir? Have you already been to my parent's house? Because, my cat, Crookshanks, is still missing."

Professor Dumbledore looked at her with twinkling, blue eyes. “I see. I will send somebody over to your house and see if your furry friend can be found. Is there anything else?”

Hermione shook her head. “No, Sir. And thank you for doing this. I really hope Crooks is alright.”

At that, the Headmaster smiled. “Don’t worry, Miss Granger. I will send my best man to get him for you.”

She nodded. “Thank you, Sir. And have a good day.” The Headmaster saw her off with a grandfatherly smile and a twinkle in his eyes. She could already feel herself relax, knowing that Professor Dumbledore would take care of Crookshanks. Because the prospect of not seeing her beloved cat again, filled her with sorrow. But no, if Crooks was still alive, they would find him and bring him back to her - they  _ had _ to.

Ssssssss

Albus Dumbledore stared at the leaving girl in contemplative silence. Miss Granger was unlike every other student he had met at Hogwarts and somehow he found himself fascinated by the girl's strong morale and kindness. He had met many intelligent students, Tom Riddle and Severus Snape were only two of them. But Hermione Granger united some character traits that made her unique: intelligence, loyalty, kindness and cunning. She could have fit easily into each of Hogwarts' houses, even though Slytherin might not have welcomed her with open arms due to the fact that she was Muggleborn. But to him, being a muggle-born witch made her even more extraordinary, as it gave her a completely different perspective and mindset. When she had proposed to simply cut his arm off, it had happened in total innocence, unknowing that proposing to cut a wizard's wand arm off, was highly offensive in the magical world. Most wizards would be rendered helpless through it and would have outrightly refused such treatment.

Albus sighed. It was a risk to follow her suggestion, as there was a good chance they would not be able to regrow an arm, after having suffered such a fatal curse. But even if he could never regain the lost limb, he would still be very much alive. Considering that he still had to find an unknown number of Tom's Horcruxes, that was more than he could have hoped for only a day ago.

But that wasn't what actually blew his mind. He had been mulling over Severus' and Miss Granger's connection for a while now, and he had to admit, that when Severus' told him of it, he had been surprised. Being able to establish such a connection to a kindred magical being was extraordinary, not only because there was rarely such a being even close enough to you, but also because it needed two pure souls to do so. Albus had always known that Severus was a good person, deep down, but he had been a Death Eater for years now, and such a life usually left marks on anybody's soul. Albus had made the experience himself on the fateful day his sister died and his world fell apart. He, too, had done terrible things, things he had been trying to set right for years now. He couldn't though and the realization of it had almost broken him apart and made him discard this idea of anyone being pure enough to perform any kind of white magic. Then there had been Lily Potter, saving her son by sacrificing herself in an act of untainted love. She had done what Albus had thought impossible, and once again his world had been turned upside down. And now there were those two… Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. He had no problems believing the girl to be innocent enough to establish such an extraordinary bond to another magical being. She had championed the innocent and helpless more than once during the last years, her attempt at freeing the house-elves only being one of the things she did. But Severus? The man had studied Dark Magic for Merlin's sake! He had played a double game for years, had been tortured and had probably tortured himself. Albus did not know for sure, of course, as he never thought it fit to ask. So how could the man's soul still be pure enough to be receptive to the call of miss Granger's magic? Albus had doubted his conclusion for a while. He had even searched for another explanation for Severus' and Miss Granger's strange condition, only to realize that there wasn't one. And then, yesterday, he saw the man do the first Gryffindor-like thing ever, a thing he had deemed impossible for Severus Snape. He had turned away from his master, knowing that he had probably just signed his death warrant. How could he begrudge Severus finally making a clean cut and turning away from his dark past, when it finally proved what Albus had hoped for him so long: there was still the chance for something good and pure in the boy's life? It was not too late to save Severus Snape. It had only needed the right person for him to realize, that there was more to life than self-preservation and survival.

Why had it taken an innocent Gryffindor girl for Albus to realize that Severus Snape could actually be saved, that he could be the light, they so desperately needed in the times ahead of them? He had almost let the man walk down the darkest path and asked Severus to kill him, when the time came - everything to strengthen the man's position as a spy. Albus had been just about to ask him, when the man stumbled in his office the morning after he had put that damned Horcrux on his finger. But then Severus had told him about his connection to the girl and it had been enough for him to pause and rethink his decision. Now he thanked Merlin that he did. There would have been no turning back once Severus had committed that particular crime, a crime which Albus had thought would no longer ever register with the man's soul. How wrong he had been! Well, Albus guessed, sometimes he, too, was an ignorant fool that needed somebody to point him into the right direction. Now he only needed to do the same for his stubborn Potions Master.


	13. Setting things straight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! I hope you are all well and enjoying the summer right now. Hermione sure as hell is, with her parents visiting Hogwarts. Here is the next chapter for you. Currently I am 18 chapters in and there is no end in sight. Good for us! ;-)  
> My special thanks goes to my friend Stephanie MRV, who patiently reads all my scribblings and helps making things more interesting for all of us.

“I never took you for a coward, Severus,” the Headmaster said looking at him in mild disappointment. “I hoped you had finally decided to no longer keep secrets from Miss Granger, as we just saw what damage keeping secrets can cause. But no. I see you can’t help it to keep your cards close to your chest.”

Severus looked at the man with a scowl. “Wh at do you expect me to do Albus? Tell the girl that she's my destined soulmate? That she will start feeling unwell if she decides not to constantly seek out my presence? How well do you think that would go down with her?  What about her parents? I am nearly two decades older than her and she is underage. Its pedophilia Albus! ” he growled, leaping from the man’s cushioned chair and pacing in front of his desk. “She already wants to undo the connection as it is. Not that she could, mind you.”

Albus looked at him with a shake of his head. “This might be due to her not having all the facts. She thinks the only thing you share is pain. Of course she would not want that. This is why you finally need to talk to her, my boy. And if you do, try to be honest about your feelings.” He said reasonably while completely ignoring the underage problem. 

The words were enough for him to choke. “My feelings? My  _ feelings _ ? I don’t have feelings, least of all for Miss Granger. Merlin Albus, have you finally lost your marbles? The girl is my  _ student _ . I have no  _ feelings _ for her, none whatsoever.” He stared at the meddlesome man defiantly. But Dumbledore did not seem overly impressed with him.

“Really Severus? Or is this just what you are telling yourself? Because I certainly think you do," he said and looked at him over the rim of his half-moon - glasses. "I think you decided not to feel, as there was only pain and misery in your life for years. Don't think I'm not aware of that, my boy." The Headmaster's gaze did not waver, but Severus could have sworn that it softened a bit. "But now there suddenly is something else and even though your mind keeps denying it, your heart knows. You do feel Severus, and there is nothing wrong with that. Miss Granger will be an adult soon enough but even then, no one asks you to bed her if you feel uncomfortable doing so. You could, however, try to establish some sort of friendship or companionship with the girl. I can see her appreciating a skilled mentor or even a reliable, mature friend." The old man had even the audacity to twinkle at him. It took all of Severus's willpower not to snap at him. The nerve of that man! 

“A mentor, Albus. How well do you think that will go down with the Slytherins?” he asked, but then he suddenly remembered that most of them had probably already heard that he had defected the Dark Lord. That next year would be a nightmare!

“You will no longer be Head of the House Slytherin,” Albus said as if he had read his thoughts. But Severus guessed he didn't need to, as his recent decisions had put him and the Headmaster in quite a difficult position. Still, Albus had not scolded him for it once. Why? 

“As you are aware, I will try to persuade Horace to come back to us.” Dumbledore continued. ”He will not only fill your position as Potions Professor, but he can also take over House Slytherin from you. You will take over the position as Professor for Defense against the Dark Arts and there’s another side project I would like to talk to you about - well, two actually.”

At that, he saw Albus’ features turn into a smile, which made him suddenly feel nervous. What would the man be expecting from him now, that he had disappointed him by giving up his position as a spy? “Side projects? What kind of side projects?”

“Well, the first one was actually inspired by your Miss Granger, Severus. She proposed a way to actually get rid of that unruly curse that has befallen my arm. She really  _ is _ a clever girl, you know?” 

Again, there was that blasted twinkle in the man’s blue eyes. He tried not to let it get to him. “What did  _ my clever Miss Granger _ suggest then?” he asked, while making his voice sound as mocking as possible  even if his insides became warm at his voicing of her being his.

Albus looked at him with a smile. “How do you feel about cutting off my wand arm Severus?”

Severus's jaw dropped. He couldn't be serious!

sssssssss

When Hermione knocked at Professor Snape’s office door after dinner, she could not help but feel nervous. The man had not been at dinner in the Great Hall, and neither had been the Headmaster. Had they already talked about her suggestion or maybe even put it into practice? When suggesting it to Professor Dumbledore earlier, she had thought it a good idea to get rid of his cursed arm, especially if that curse was slowly killing him, as he said. But would it even work? What if part of the curse still remained in his body and killed him anyway? Or what if the missing arm could not be regrown? After all, they did not know if Professor Snape’s potion ever worked or if she was skilled enough to brew it, with Professor Snape only watching and instructing her?

She stared at the office door in dismay and before she could finally convince herself to knock, the door opened on its own, revealing a tired-looking Professor Snape. “How long did you intend standing there, staring at my door?” he asked, his face lacking any form of emotion. 

Hermione looked at him in embarrassment  and mortification . “I was just about to knock,” she mumbled. “I just wanted to finish my train of thought first.”  She said lamely.

"You can finish it inside," the man said and stepped aside, making room for her to enter. Hermione could not remember having been to Professor Snape’s office before. It wasn't very comfortable, if she was honest, as most of the shelves were filled with potion ingredients, most of them looking rather unappealing. The middle of the office was taken up by a large desk though, that was covered in various papers, quills and scrolls. Somehow the chaos there surprised her, as she could have sworn that the Professor would have everything neatly organized. But she guessed, she didn't know him very well, not even after reading through his potions book - twice. There was so much she still did not know about him and Hermione realized that she wanted to change that. She just did not know how, without being  disrespectful . Right now there was a more pressing question on her mind though.

“Sir? Did you… is Professor Dumbledore alright?" she asked, stopping in the middle of the room and staring at the man in hesitation. He did not answer her right away and instead calmly walked towards his desk. He sat down on his chair, his hand resting in front of his chin as he said: 

“Are you asking if the Headmaster could already convince me to chop off his arm?” He smiled darkly, but at the same time, he looked at her with furrowed brows.

Hermione nodded and saw the Professor sigh tiredly in response.

“Miss Granger,” he said and for a moment it seemed like he was struggling for patience. “Suggesting such a thing to the Headmaster or actually to anybody, is considered an extremely rude thing. I know you are nor aware of it, which is why I am explaining this to you now. Cutting off somebody’s wand arm is considered a crime in the wizarding world, as it usually renders the person in question totally helpless. Doing such a thing is considered a taboo.”

She stared at the man with wide eyes. “I… wasn’t aware of that, Sir. Do you think I should apologize to Professor Dumbledore?”

At that, Professor Snape shook his head. “No. But you should probably avoid telling anybody else of your … unconventional suggestion. Professor Dumbledore is aware of your…  _ heritage _ and your  _ obliviousness _ of certain wizarding customs. He does not hold it against you. In fact, he was quite taken by the idea and asked me to perform the amputation of his cursed appendage right away."

Hermione looked at the Professor with a hopeful smile. “He did? And is he alright?”  She said trying to crush the overwhelming embarrassment she felt at not knowing about the "taboo" she committed. 

“Indeed. And he seemed most pleased by the result.”

“Was he really?” Hermione asked, unable to hide her relief. “I’m glad. Now we just need to brew those potions to help you and the Headmaster to recover. Shall we start right away?”

“In a moment,” Professor Snape said and walked to a door to his right. Hermione did not know what was behind, but as the man opened it a moment later, an excited, orange fur ball dashed in her direction, leaping in her arms with an excited meow.

“Crooks!” she shouted, cradling her faithful companion against her chest. “I’ve been so worried about you!”

Her cat answered by licking her hand, before rubbing her head against her chest. Hermione enjoyed his affection for a moment, but then she got aware of Professor Snape’s gaze lingered on her. Reluctantly she let her companion go and Crookshanks leapt out of her arms, climbing on the Professor’s desk instead. Hermione was almost sure the man would shoo him away, but she was mistaken. 

“I found him in the neighbourhood of your home,” t he Professor explained, looking at the scene, his face bare of emotions. For a moment she seemed to consider his reaction, but finally, he nodded with a sigh. "I believe we should start with our first brewing session. It will take some experimenting to make the potion work properly and I would prefer to have that arm back, before the new term starts. Follow me into the lab.  You can pick up your cat later.” 

Hermione nodded eagerly. She couldn't wait for them to start,  and as it looked Crookshanks seemed to be quite happy, where he was.

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposure:_ ** _ 2 hours 23 minutes 40 seconds _

**_Physical contact:_ ** _ none _

**_Observations:_ **

_ The subject shows sufficient skills in potion making, which will make her useful enough to complete the potion I need to recover. Luckily she can mostly keep her mouth shut while brewing and refrains from asking questions at every chance, like she usually tends to do. It makes her presence in my personal lab much more tolerable. _

_ My missing  _ _ appendage _ _ keeps bothering me and I hope to regrow it soon. I still have problems comprehending, how the stupid girl talked the Headmaster into deciding to simply let me cut off his wand arm. We can only hope that we manage to regrow it, before the new term starts. As soon as the Dark Lord hears of the man's helplessness, he will not hesitate to try assassinating the man. But the little Know-It-All, of course, did not consider that particular outcome, as she tends to be way too naive in her thinking. I hoped her little stunt at the Ministry taught her a lesson, but she, unfortunately, seems to be rather incorrigible.  _

Severus read through his notes with furrowed brows. Working together with the girl had been… challenging and it wasn't because he found her incapable, or even overly chatty. Ever since she was back to Hogwarts, her behaviour towards him had changed. She had always treated him politely but now it was like she constantly smiled at him and genuinely cared about his opinion of her. But that also wasn't the problem. The girl's presence in his private lab had been most distracting for him. As he stood close behind her to watch her moves, he could suddenly smell the scent of her hair products mixed with something that had to be  _ her _ . It took all his willpower to not walk closer and sniff her out like some wild  _ animal _ would probably do. But oh  did  he want to, wanted to bury his nose in her hair and put his arms around her small body from behind, pulling her close to never let her go. He did not know where those thoughts suddenly came from, but they were unmistakably there and no matter how much he raised his Occlumency shields, they simply would not leave him again.

Fuck! When she came to his office earlier he had considered telling her the truth about their connection, or at least let her know that there was a need for them to see each other more frequently than the both of them liked. But how was he supposed to explain why she had not been unwell during the days she spent with her parents? The girl did not know he had regularly visited her in his Animagus form and it wasn’t that he could just admit it now, could he? And so he had not said anything, even though Albus had strongly advised him to finally spill the beans. But he could not do it, not when he risked driving the girl away by doing so. He knew it was probably a big mistake, as the truth would come out eventually. But maybe the girl had come to like him until his secret was revealed and would not consider leaving him behind. If she just got to know him a bit better, maybe after working in the lab with him for a while, she would hopefully be able to understand his reasoning. As it appeared they needed each other and he did not mean those disgusting thoughts that had started tormenting him a few hours ago. Severus would get them under control. He had not been interested in a woman for almost twenty years now and he would be damned, if he suddenly succumbed to that weakness now. His life was already complicated enough as it was.

Ssssssss

When Hermione finally sunk to her bed she felt tired but happy. Ever since she had woken up from her artificially induced sleep, things had been pretty exciting. Having her parents at Hogwarts was great. It had always been one of her dreams to finally be able to show them everything here, and hopefully, it would make them understand why the wizarding world was so important to her. Especially considering the recent attack on their home, her parents would make a decision soon. Hermione could see them leaving Britain behind, as they had many international contacts and friends all over the globe. But would they agree to let her stay at the castle? Hermione hoped so. Showing them everything definitely would make it easier for her to explain to them why she wanted , no needed, to stay behind. Luckily Professor Snape and Headmaster Dumbledore seemed to support this idea, at least when she was going by the bits that Professor Snape had told her. 

Hermione had already shown her parents the library and even her father, who has visited many international libraries before, had been impressed by its size. Afterwards, they had been to the greenhouses and even though Professor Sprout was not around to give them a tour, Hermione knew the place pretty well after years of Herbology classes. She had been able to lead her parents to the plants that were sa f e enough to watch. Her mum had loved the place from the beginning, her interest in Botany making her want to stay until they had almost missed dinner. Hermione promised her  they could come back another day, knowing that they might be here frequently from now on. Maybe she could even convince Professor Snape to join them, as his knowledge on plants was most likely very impressive as a Potions Master.

Professor Snape… the man continued to be a mystery to her. Working under his watchful eye had been surprisingly hard, as she wasn’t used to him breathing down her neck. He had not scolded her once, only interrupted her when she was about to do something stupid before carefully instructing her how to do better. Still, she had been nervous throughout the whole brewing session. Her skin had tingled all over, while she had been aware of his every move, which was ridiculous, as the man almost hadn't moved at all. She guessed it was because she did not want to disappoint him, at least she hoped it was. But after having had a stupid crush on Professor Lockard and after him Professor Lupin, she wasn't entirely sure. She had admired both m e n before her feelings had grown into something… more. Merlin, she only hoped this would not happen with Professor Snape too, especially if she was going to spend a big chunk of her next weeks with him in his lab - alone. Doing so would provide a multitude of chances for her thoughts to run wild, but with him being a Legillimens ... holy Gryffindor! No, she could not let it come to that, as the man would probably throw her out as soon as he learned about her stupid teenage crush. Unfortunately, it did not help that he was much nicer towards her now, or that he had given her his old potions book. Whenever she opened it now, she could see a young version of Severus Snape before her inner eye, hunched over his desk, scribbling enthusiastically. She had not been able to resist looking him up in the Hogwarts yearbook when she visited the library earlier. At that chance, she had learned that Severus Tobias Snape was indeed a half-blood like his old potions book had suggested. But now the picture of the broody-looking young man haunted her whenever she closed her eyes. He had already worn his hair long back then and his features had not changed much over the years , if anything they had gotten better . He had never been classically handsome, Hermione thought, but then she realized that she did not care about that one bit. The man was definitely not ugly and he wasn’t plain either. His dark, mysterious aura, his dark eyes and his long hair had something that fascinated her - or better  _ would have fascinated her  _ if she had been interested in boys right now - which she wasn't. Hermione groaned. Oh, whom was she kidding right now? Of course, she was interested in him, in a way she definitely shouldn't. The man was her Professor and he had already refused to behave improperly by only staying alone in her room with her. What would he say when he found out about this stupid teenage crush? Hermione could not see him reacting too kindly towards her, which meant that he would probably at least cancel their brewing session, or heaven forbid, talk to her parents! She could not let this happen, any of that, which meant she had to get over those blasted feelings and fast! The question was how?

ssssssss

_ "What are you doing here, Miss Granger?" he heard himself ask, staring at the girl's petite body that was only clad in a silky nightshirt. It was the middle of the night and he was already about to get ready for bed, his black outer robe already resting in his wardrobe for the next day. But then a strange feeling had pulled him towards his door and there she was: Hermione Granger, clad in a thin white nightshirt, shivering in the coldness of the castle walls. _

_ "I don't know, Sir," she replied, her brown eyes huge as they looked up at him. She should not be here, not at this hour and definitely not in this state of undress and  _ _ yet there s _ _ he was. “It was like I was somehow pulled towards you, like I somehow needed to be here. Does that make sense?”  _

_ Of course it did, considering their strange connection, only that the girl wasn't aware of that. Merlin, he should send her back to her room or at least escort her back, but he too found that he did not seem to have a will o _ _ f _ _ his own. “It does,” he said, his voice deep and mysterious. “But this is not the right place for an explanation and you’re cold.” _

_ Miss Granger nodded, her lower lip trembling. Somehow his eyes could focus on nothing else but that pink, glistening lip for a moment, and it took all his willpower to turn around and lead the girl inside, into his private quarters. There, the rooms were still warm, as he let the fire in the fireplace burn all night. She did not hesitate, but followed him inside, her bare feet making almost no sound on the cold stone floor. _

_ “You shouldn’t have come here,” he heard himself say, offering her a place on the huge leather sofa, before he carefully sat down next to her. “What if somebody saw you?” _

_ Miss Granger shook her head, her lower lip caught by her teeth. “I was very careful, Sir. And I just… I needed to be here, I can’t explain why.” _

_ “There’s no need to explain anything to me,” he said, and somehow his hand found its way to her face, carefully cradling her cheek, while his thumb touched her lips. “I understand the need to … be close.” _

_ Her eyes went wide. “You do?” _

_"I do." No more words were needed, as his lips found their way towards hers a moment later. It was like none of them could help it, their shared urge to feel each other silencing all rational thoughts. For now, there were only her lips and the soft moans and whimpers that escaped them now. His hands found their way below her nightshirt stroking her tight_ _breasts with nimble fingers. The sensation was enough to make her shiver and press herself stronger against him. He found himself kissing her even harder at_ _her actions. She was so receptive and not shy at all, like he had expected!_

_ Only moments later the girl whimpered below him, her body no longer sitting but lying on the sofa. Severus covered her almost from head to toe, her body trembling with need below him. _

_ “Please Sir, I need you closer,” she whimpered, her pupils blown wide. “I need you inside me…” _

That was when Severus woke up, his body bolting upright in his bed.  _ It was only a dream _ , he realized, even though his traitorous body was pretty much convinced that it wasn’t. It was like he could still feel the girl’s lips on him, her hard nubs below his fingers as he rubbed them making her gasp with pleasure. But no, Miss Granger had never been here. She had never even seen his rooms, let alone asked him to… Merlin’s hairy buttocks! How could his traitorous mind come up with such an  _ absurd _ fantasy? Now that he thought about it, his dream could have sprung from one of the cheap, nauseating novellas his mum used to read and hide under one loose floorboard in the kitchen. He didn't know, but no matter how absurd that dream had been, his body did not care. His throbbing member demanded its release and ached for the witch from his dream to finish the job. But no, he would not touch himself thinking about this particular student. He was  _ not _ this kind of man. But Merlin, he wanted to, because he knew that in  _ this  _ state it would be impossible for him to fall asleep anytime soon. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	14. Out of necessity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Welcome to another chapter of this story. I am thoroughly enjoying your comment, suggestions and theories you are sharing with me. It is so cool to see, how much thought and love some of you are giving this story. This makes me so happy! I worked very hard to give you this next chapter as soon as possible. And here it is! Enjoy!

“Are you alright, love?” her mum asked her over breakfast the next day. “You look like you’re going to fall asleep on your toast any moment.”

She probably was, Hermione realized. There was no reason denying that. Last night had been… sleepless, at least after she had awoken from a pretty confusing dream, one containing her, Professor Snape and some pretty hot kisses on his sofa. Luckily Crooks had woken her up before things went too far and for a moment she could not say if she was glad for her pet's intervention or not. Falling asleep afterwards was… hard, as her thoughts kept returning to her mysterious Professor whenever she closed her eyes. Her mind started replaying scenes from her dream and more than once she found her hands creeping under her bed cover towards her pyjama pants. At first, she had wanted to resist, but after more than one hour of fighting, she had finally given in and touched herself. It hadn't taken her long afterwards, not when she felt like she could still feel his hands on her skin, which was ridiculous of course. Professor Snape would never touch her in such an inappropriate way, but last night she fantasized he did. Now, at the light of the morning, she felt ashamed of herself and could barely look at him, not even when she felt his eyes resting on her from time to time. She could only pray that there would never be the need for him  to teach her Occlumency, otherwise she was screwed.

"I had some problems falling asleep," she finally admitted, looking at her parents with a tired smile. "So much has recently happened, and I can't help but worry about what we're going to do." It wasn't a lie per se, because she really  _ was _ worried. 

Her mum nodded understandingly. "We'll talk about it later, my Dear," she said, petting her hand affectionately. "Professor Dumbledore wanted to discuss some things with us after breakfast, but maybe later we could go down to the Black Lake and have a picnic, what do you think?"

"Sounds lovely mum," Hermione mumbled and she meant it. She'd never had a picnic at the lakeshore, but suddenly she found that she was eager to change that and make some nice memories with her parents. Who knew what the future would have in store for them, with You-Know-Who on the rise? There was no saying when they would be able to see each other again after th is summer, or if they would even all be alive at the end of the war. And what if they never managed to bring that maniac down? 

Hermione saw her mum cast her a happy smile. "I'm sure there will be enough time for us to talk," she said and winked. "And who knows? Maybe we can even put on our bikinis and have a long swim in the lake..."

For a moment Hermione thought, she heard Professor Snape choke at those words. But as he seemed totally unfazed when she looked at him a moment later. It had probably just been her imagination.

sssssssss

"Where is she? Where's Mione?" an only too well-known voice rang through the Great Hall, making Dumbledore and the other staff members look up in surprise. Severus didn't need to look up as it was fairly obvious that the intruder was the second youngest Weasley spawn, obviously hoping to find his bushy-haired friend.

“Mr Weasley,” Severus heard the Headmaster say, his tone showing mild amusement. “I’m afraid Miss Granger is not eating lunch with us today. I believe you will find her and her parents down by the Black Lake, enjoying the sun and the water.”

“Does that mean our Hermione is alright? We were all so worried about her,” another voice said, this time a female one. So Molly had decided to  bring the boy here, disturbing whatever little bit of peace Severus had found at the castle. Not that his thoughts had been very peaceful today, knowing that the girl was prancing around the lakeshore in a bikini for everybody to see. 

"Miss Granger is well Molly, don't worry," Albus soothed the woman and from the corner of his eye, Severus saw the man patting the chair to his right, inviting her to sit down. "Why don't you sit down with us and have lunch? I am sure young Ronald will easily be able to find his friend on his own."

"Don't worry mum," the brat replied casually. "I'll find her and ask, if she and her parents want to stay with us until the Order managed to rebuild their house," the boy said and a moment later Severus heard him running out of the room, not even bothering to say his goodbyes to any of them.

Severus looked at his plate with a moody scowl before stabbing one of the potatoes with his fork, imagining  he was hurting  that red-haired pest instead. Dumbledore could not permit the girl and her parents to leave the castle now, not when they had just started to work on their potions. Their recovery was of utmost importance now, and it wasn't like the Weasleys had enough space at their hovel for three more people anyway. No, Miss Granger would stay, she had to, even if the girl herself wasn't aware of that because he still had not found the right words to explain the situation to her. But the two of them were dependent on each other right now, a fact that Albus was luckily aware of. Therefore, Molly could nag him all she wanted. The girl and her parents would stay here, right where they belonged.

sssssssss

"Isn't that your friend Ron?" her mum said when they were about to start eating dinner. The three of them had enjoyed their time splashing and swimming in the water and after a while, they had even attracted the giant squid, much to her mum's shock. It had taken Hermione some time to explain to them that the magical animal was indeed a friendly one but in the end, the three of them had played with the squid jumping and sliding off its arms with squeals and laughter. It was brilliant!

Hermione had often heard the twins or Ron and Harry talk about swimming with the giant animal but she had always been too occupied with learning to try it herself. Now she was glad she finally had the chance to enjoy the friendly animal's company herself, even though it had taken a horde of Death Eaters destroying her home to finally do so.

"Yeah, that's him," Hermione replied, spying her friend run down towards them from the castle. It was only a few days since she had last seen him, but Hermione could have sworn, that he had already grown taller again. It was barely a minute until her friend finally reached them, his long legs and the Quidditch training making it easy for him to reach them in almost no time.

“Ron, hi,” Hermione said with a happy smile. “What are you doing at the castle?”

The boy looked at her in disbelief. “What do you think we’re doing? We heard about the attack, of course, and we wanted to know if you’re alight! Are you… alright? I mean…” his eyes trailed towards her parents, seeking them out with a hesitant expression. “...all of you?”

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Hermione assured him, a fond smile on her face. “We weren’t at home when our home was destroyed.”

Ron nodded and for a moment he seemed to contemplate her words. “Huh. Oh, hello Mr and Mrs Granger, I’m Ron Weasley. Do you remember me? Sorry for not saying hello earlier.” 

“Of course we remember Hermione’s friend,” her mum said, a friendly smile on her face. “It’s so nice you came looking for our Hermione. Would you like to sit down with us? We were just about to start eating lunch.”

"Sure," Ron replied and eyed their lunch that was already spread out on another blanket to their right. A moment later he sat down with them next to Hermione, and she could not deny that she was happy to have him there. After all, she had missed Ron and Harry terribly in the days she spent alone in the hospital wing, and now that her friend was here, she was determined to enjoy the time she had with him. Who knew when she'd see him again?

"How's everybody?" she asked and offered him the plate with sandwiches, being very much aware of her mum's watchful gaze. Hermione had rarely interacted with her friends in front of her parents, simply because she did not have any before Hogwarts and she, Ron and Harry used to spend the holidays apart from each other. So she guessed it was only natural that her mum was curious about the boys her daughter had befriended.

"Fred and George opened a joke shop at Diagon Alley," Ron told her, while chewing a cheese-sandwich. "Mum was nervous about it for days, but it seems to be a big hit. They moved out at home two days after they quit Hogwarts and from there on, they have constantly been working to build up everything. Can't wait to see everything with my own eyes!"

Hermione nodded. She still could not understand how those two could have been so careless to just quit school so shortly before their NEWTs, but remembering the conversation she recently had with her mum, she decided that it was  _ their _ decision - and their decision alone. "I'd love to see it, too," Hermione said, a curious smile on her lips. "But I'm not sure if I can, as we still haven't decided what we will do now." She hesitantly focussed her gaze on her parents. "Professor Dumbledore said that it would be best if my parents went abroad for a while, you know?"

It seemed to take Ron a moment, before the implications of such a decision hit him, but when they did, he looked at her with wide eyes. “But you’re staying here, right? You can’ just…. Merlin Mione, please don’t go!”

Hermione looked at him with a sad smile. “Believe me, Ron, I don’t want to. I love you and Harry and I’d hate to not be able to see you, and I also love studying at Hogwarts. But I can understand my parents, too. We… still haven’t talked it through.”

She saw how Ron’s shoulders sagged as he suddenly turned to her parents. “Please let Hermione stay with us, let her stay at Hogwarts,” he said, his voice full of honest friendship. “Harry and I would be lost without her. She’s brilliant and…” suddenly, Hermione saw his cheeks turn pink, but he did not finish the sentence. Instead, he said: “Please don’t take her from us.”

Hermione could tell that her parents were stunned by Ron's plea, but she could not be more pleased about it. Following an impulse, she pulled him into her arms and hugged him fiercely, and he hugged her back without the slightest bit of hesitation, unaware that more than two pairs of eyes were watching them.

When Hermione finally let go of him, she saw her mum look at them with a watery smile. “Your dad and I would hate to pull such a strong friendship apart,” her mum said, before she turned towards her father. “Isn’t that right, Dan?” 

Her dad nodded. “Yeah, if you want to finish your education at Hogwarts we will not take you away from here against your will. We’d never do that to you.”

Hermione looked at both of them with wide eyes, before she leapt towards them and pulled them in a hug. “You’ll let me stay? Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Her dad chuckled. "Anytime, Pumpkin. And it's not like you can't come visiting us, using one of those clever means of magical transport." He winked at her. "How about you and Ron go for another swim as soon as we're finished eating lunch? The weather is glorious and your mum and I wouldn't mind taking a short nap in the shade."

“Sounds brilliant!” Ron said, grabbing himself another sandwich. “I’ll simply transfigure my clothes and we’re good to go. You up for another swim, Mione?”

There was never a question about how her answer would be. Hermione had decided to enjoy her summer, and swimming with Ron sounded like a brilliant way to do just that.

ssssssss

  
  


Severus Snape was not in a good mood and the reason was  _ not _ this red-haired menace that stumbled into the castle three hours ago, lounging at the black lake like there was no plan for him leaving anytime soon. It was most annoying as Miss Granger had somewhere else to be, namely his lab, but she, too, seemed in no hurry to leave the idiot's side. Their potion was in a fragile state right now, wasn't she aware of that? Obviously not, Severus thought, combing his beak through his black feathers, watching the two teenagers lying in the sun, chatting with each other. It was of no use, waiting here for the girl. If Miss Granger proved to be as unreliable as it seemed, he would have to try continuing the potions himself. He wasn't dependant on anybody, especially not for brewing a fucking potion, missing limb or not.

Half an hour and three ruined giant’s toes later Severus had to realize, that he, indeed, needed the girl to continue. It was simply impossible to prepare them satisfyingly with only his right arm, no matter what he tried to fixate the damned ingredient. He was frustrated beyond measure! Right when he was about to storm out of his lab, there was a knock at his door, so he halted before ripping the door open. There she was, the unreliable chit.

“You’re late,” he growled, blocking her entrance. “But I guess you thought prancing around with that useless idiot was more important than finishing a stupid potion, didn’t you?”

She looked at him with wide, surprised eyes. "I… we never actually agreed on a particular time, Sir," she said before her gaze suddenly hardened and her eyes stared at him in determination. "I'm sorry to have disappointed you, Sir. I wasn't aware you were already waiting for me. Why didn't you send a Patronus to fetch me, Professor?"

Why indeed? He could have had her away from that idiot a while ago and spared himself the frustration of messing up valuable ingredients. Damn. “I thought you were aware of all the facts,” he sneered, before he stepped inside. “Get in here then and hurry. We already lost enough time as it is.”

Miss Granger stepped into his lab without giving him any sort of reply and strangely it was hard for him to read her thoughts. Her posture seemed stiff, her chin raised defiantly and her brown eyes seemed to spark with fire. But at the same time, she seemed somewhat hesitant around him, shy even, but that did not make much sense, did it?

"Cut the giant's toe first," he instructed, positioning himself in a safe distance to her and her distracting scent. Today, he would not be lured into that sort of mindframe, neither in the days that followed. He did not plan on getting addicted to _Dreamless_ _Sleep_ , after all.

**_Time of exposure_ ** _ : 2 hours, 4 minutes, 1 second _

**_Physical contact:_ ** _ none _

**_Observations_ ** _ :  _

_ Working in the potion went smoothly after the girl finally showed up in the lab. Her potion-making skills seem to improve with every brewing session and I get the impression that she is trying very hard to gain my approval. It is probably due to her reliance on praise, as I have found her to be an attention seeker long ago. Her tendencies to garner her Professor's approval seem to have somewhat improved though. Today the girl seemed almost hesitant to talk to me and she just silently followed my orders. _

_ While carefully watching over her preparing the potion, I avoided standing too close. Even though I found my heart rate to be still somewhat elevated, I am positive that I will be spared from unpleasant dreams tonight. _

  
  
  
  
  
  



	15. Too much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends! Happy weekend everyone! Here’s your next chapter for you. Tell me what you think, I’m always looking forward to your comments.

Hermione did not know what to do. Her parent's presence at the castle and their shared adventures were what kept her sane through the days that followed. Ever since she had unknowingly been late for their brewing session in the evening, the Professor's behaviour had significantly changed. At first, he was just distant towards her and Hermione was thankful for it because her embarrassing dream made it hard for her to even look him into his dark eyes. With him mostly being a silent observer she had hoped that her crush would somewhat lessen but when the next night brought another heated dream she realized that it wouldn't be quite so easy. Even though the Professor grew colder and harsher every day her dreams stayed very much the same.  In them , he was sometimes gentle, sometimes passionate while they were lying in each other's arms  and  kissing like there was no tomorrow. They never got any farther than that and Hermione was glad as her evenings in the lab were already hard enough as it was.

Because Professor Snape’s mood seemed to get worse every day, his expression back to the cold sneer, while his comments about her work had gotten significantly worse. It took all her willpower to not snap at him and instead tell herself what a great chance it was to work under a real potions master, but as the days went by and his comments grew even nastier, Hermione could barely motivate herself to knock at his office door any longer. His words kept echoing through her head and taunted her no matter how hard she tried pushing them away.

“No! You need to crush those Sophorus Beans  _ hard _ ! Otherwise, it's impossible to get all the juice from them."

…

“Do you really want to do that girl? Let’s see what that leads to shall we?”

...

“I  _ told _ you to  _ evenly _ stir the potion clockwise 13 times exactly. Your stirring was way too slow in between!”

…

“I told you to  _ crush _ those beans, not to  _ destroy _ them.” 

…

“Merlin girl, the way you are stirring this potion I could swear you did not pay attention in class.”

... 

“Just take your time, Miss Granger. Maybe, with time, I’ll get used to having only one arm.”

…

“It seems to me you’re enjoying my company because I get the impression, you’d like to start again from scratch.”

... 

“This is not a  _ stew _ , Miss Granger, it’s a  _ potion _ : Do I need to explain the difference to you?”

...

"Mince not dice!"

...

"This is not Polyjuice potion Ms Granger, so keep your damned hair out of it! Do you not know how to tie back your own hair?"

…

“Stop regurgitating the textbook as if you have two peanuts in your brain that keep clanging around in the surrounding void. Think!”

...

It was too much. Hermione could no longer take his more and more nasty comments, that didn’t even seem remotely helpful any longer. She tried taking them with ease, she knew Professor Snape for years after all and most of the time being taught by him meant having to learn to deal with harsh criticism. But ever since being cursed, Professor Snape had behaved differently towards her and somehow she had hoped that all his unfriendly behaviour during class had just been an act to play his role as a loyal Death Eater. But suddenly it was like the “old” Professor Snape was back, only that his whole ire now seemed focussed on her. And Hermione had no idea why. 

One should have thought that the man’s unpleasant behaviour would help her to get over her stupid crush, and even though she could have sworn that she was  _ not _ attracted to him throughout the day, her dreams told an entirely different story. It was like her dream world and the real world drifted more and more apart and her dreams had never been very realistic, to begin with. There was no way she would have thrown herself at a man like  _ that _ , least of all Professor Snape. 

"Tell me, Ms Granger, do you prefer me having only one arm?" his deep baritone pulled her out of her thoughts and she cursed herself for not focussing her whole attention on the potion.

“No, Sir,” Hermione said, carefully stirring the simmering potion. “I wouldn’t wish such a thing to anybody I know.”

“Then tell me, why you’re trying to corrupt the potion by over-stirring it,” her Professor sneered and Hermione decided that she would not take his abysmal mood any longer. 

“Two minutes ago you presumed I was trying to burn the potion because I was not stirring enough,” she said, while carefully taking the stirring rod out and putting it aside. “Which is it, Sir? Because I slowly get the impression you can not quite decide how I am trying to ruin your and the Headmaster’s chance of recovery.”

Professor Snape looked at her with raised brows, his mouth drawn into a straight line. "The art of potion-making does require a lot of finesse and the ability to adapt one's strategy to the potion's requirements," he said. "A fact you should be aware of, if you read the book I have given you before you left the castle."

That was the last straw for her and even though she had sworn to herself she would not snap at him, she did. “ _Of_ _course_ I know that one has to adapt one’s brewing strategy depending on the humidity, outside temperature and other factors. I just wasn’t aware those factors change within _mere_ _minutes,_ especially while staying in a perfectly isolated lab like this one."

Hermione saw the corner of his eye twitch, while a vein at his temple started to grow more and more prominent. It was no surprise that he snapped at her a moment later. “Then you’re an idiot, very much like your  _ friends _ ," he said and for some reason, those were what suddenly made her grow calm.

"You're right, Sir," she said, before carefully wiping her hands at a cloth on the table. "It's obvious I am not skilled enough to help you with this potion and as you have pointed out more than once, it would be regrettable if we had to start over. Luckily, we are almost finished for today and you should not have any problems finishing by yourself. While you do so, I will visit the Headmaster and ask him to provide another assistant for you. Maybe one of the other Professors could be persuaded to help you."

Hermione looked at him with a calm expression but somehow her words only seemed to have agitated him even further. His eyes suddenly seemed even blacker and he took a quick step in her direction that automatically made her take a step back. "No," he said, his voice sounding suddenly dangerous. "You still owe me some more hours of work, Ms Granger, or have you forgotten that?" he said, before taking another step towards her and then another. Suddenly Professor Snape was right in front of her, towering over her while looking at her with black, unreadable eyes.

"No, of course not," she mumbled, while her heart started to beat rapidly in her chest. She knew he would not hurt her and there probably wasn't any insult left she had not already heard from him, but still, she felt the need to back away from him. Only that right behind her was the workbench, leaving her no room to do so. “I will help you when the school year starts once more ,” she promised and somehow her eyes were drawn to his. “But this potion is difficult and much too important for me to mess it up. Therefore I think it would be better if...”

She did not get any further, as Professor Snape took another step, leaving only a few inches in between them. His eyes never left hers while he did so, but suddenly he was towering over her, making her feel uneasy and… excited at the same time.

“ _ No _ ,” he said once more. “You seem to live under the misimpression that you are to choose when you’ll work for me. I don’t have time to instruct one of those other  _ assistants _ you suggested. Most other order members are out of practice for years and therefore it would take weeks to get them back into shape. No. I've already invested too much time and effort into your brewing skills, girl. Therefore, you will stay, is that understood?"

Hermione swallowed heavily and found herself nodding, while she trembled under Professor Snape’s intensive gaze. Somehow one of her dreams suddenly sprang into mind, a dream where he had kissed here right here, in this lab, probably even at that same desk.  _ Why _ did she have to think about this now? It wasn’t that anything like  _ that _ would happen here right now. “Yes, Sir,” she replied, her voice suddenly hoarse. 

“Good,” the stern man growled, before motioning his head towards the door to the lab. “Now go. I’m expecting you back here tomorrow after dinner.”

She nodded, staring at him with huge, brown eyes and he stared right back at her. For a long moment, none of them moved, before Professor Snape suddenly stepped back, making room for her to get away from him. It took all her willpower to start moving and hurry past him towards the door. But she did so with only a moment of hesitation, feeling his eyes on her as she did. "Yes, Sir. Good night, Sir," she mumbled and without waiting for a reply Hermione stumbled through the door, closing it behind her with a heavily beating heart. A few minutes ago she had been pretty sure that she did not want to see him again, until she had to and rationally speaking she still felt that way, after what he had put her through the last week. But then there was her traitorous heart, remembering the fire in his gaze and hoping that this one, stupid dream could have become reality just now. It was insane, of course, but Hermione could not help it. Her heart yearned for Professor Snape, the man that only tolerated her presence because he did not have time to instruct anybody else. Merlin, she really was in trouble.

Ssssssss

Severus barely held it together until the girl closed the door behind her. As soon as she did, he warded the entrance to the lab, cast a stasis charm on the damned potion and collapsed against the wall, pressing his forehead against the cold stones, gasping for air. He had almost lost it and had done something truly unforgivable - he had almost kissed Hermione Granger,  his  _ underage  _ student  in  his care, and pulled her petite body against him to claim her with his remaining hand and his mouth. After she had asked him to take another assistant instead of her, he had realized his mistake, only that it was almost too late. Taunted by those insane and oh so alluring dreams, he had tried pushing her away, not to make her run but to  _ distance _ himself from her - his  _ student _ . He had tried finding fault with her but whatever he did, the dreams had stayed pretty much the same, making him wake up sweaty and needy night after night after night - forcing him to take cold showers or drowning himself with Dreamless Sleep. Now, that his stupid behaviour had almost driven her away he realized, that he could not do this any longer. He could not lose Miss Granger, but he also could not have her, at least not for a painfully long while, maybe not ever. Those feelings were getting too much for him to bottle up, to reign them in, they needed an out or otherwise, he would explode and do something he would regret for the rest of his life.

With a frustrated groan, he smashed his forehead against the wall in front of him, before his remaining hand trailed  down ward, opening the fly of his trousers with trembling fingers. His member was already throbbing with need, having been ignored by him far too long. But whenever he thought about wanking, his thoughts had returned to her and he had disgustedly refrained from touching himself in that way. 

Now, he forced all his thoughts of one Hermione Granger back behind his strongest Occlumency walls and locked them away, before his hand roughly grabbed his cock, fisting it with long, slow strokes while his forehead was pressed against the wall, keeping him upright and steady. He was  _ not  _ thinking of her when his motions grew more and more frantic, his eyes closing and his lips painfully biting his lip to stifle the moan that was threatening to escape his mouth. Neither was he thinking of her when his balls contracted and his seed spilt over his hand a moment later, leaving him calmer, the sexual tension released for now.

With a deep sigh, he steadied himself, before wandlessly vanishing the mess he had made and buttoning his trousers again. Only then he set himself to finish today's brewing session, still without thinking about Ms Granger. Maybe he finally found a good way of dealing with this need he felt. A good wank had never harmed anybody, right? Especially when he was carefully avoiding  thinking about a certain student he should most definitely  _ not _ think about in this context. Luckily, Severus Snape was a master of Occlumency and he was not ashamed to put this skill to good use, as often as the need arose. It was for the girl's protection and his own sanity, after all,  he was not a pervert .

Ssssssss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give me your best Snape-insults! Because I am looking for some more nasty comments I could add to that chapter. Any ideas?


	16. Reparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! I am going back to work this week and I don’t know what it will do to my update schedule. I still plan on at least two updates a week, but life as a teacher is crazy right now, so please be patient if it doesn’t happen. We’ll see each other soon, I promise, because seriously: I love writing for you and exchanging thoughts with you. It’s what makes my days better.

The following night was the first one where Hermione was not having awkward dreams of her and Professor Snape. However unpleasant he had been towards her, it had been good for one thing: for the first time since those dreams started, she'd had a good night of sleep. It left her hopeful that her teenage crush on him was slowly disappearing because pining after Professor Snape was a hopeless cause anyway.

Still, she did not want to go back and work with him in the lab as his insults had gotten harder and harder for her to ignore. Suddenly she could understand Harry who regularly snapped at him when he encountered injustice but from her friend's actions, she also knew that  sniping back would only make things worse. 

Still, she had to go back and brew with him, no matter how little she wanted to. She owed the man a debt for having made the salve, that helped to treat and hide her curse scar. And no matter how little she liked Professor Snape at the moment, Hermione was thankful for that. With a sigh, she knocked at his office door.

She didn't have to wait long as the man himself greeted her a moment later. "Good evening, Miss Granger. Do come in," he said and surprisingly the scowl was absent from his face today. Instead, she was almost sure to spot a small smile, when he made room for her to step inside.

"Good evening, Professor Snape," she greeted back politely and stepped inside. From her previous days working with him, she knew, that he did not value it when she wasted time by trying to talk to him. Therefore she directly hurried to his lab and read the written instructions he had left for her on the workbench. Luckily today's steps did not look too difficult. Maybe she could get this over with without being insulted too much. But whom was she kidding? This was Professor Snape and lately, he didn't seem to see any more competence in her, than in Neville.

“Would you like a cup of tea, before we start?” his silky voice suddenly said from behind, making her jump in surprise. She hadn’t even heard him coming. 

"No, Sir, it's alright. I know you prefer keeping these meetings as short as possible," Hermione mumbled before busying herself with the preparations. 'And I do, too,' she added in her thoughts.

His eyes seemed to rest on her for a long moment. Finally, she saw him nod from the corner of her eye, his long legs slowly walking closer until he was standing almost right behind her, peering over her shoulder. Apparently, he had decided that she needed to be watched even more closely as he had watched her from a distance during the last days. But now his black eyes were fixated on her hands and she had to work very hard to not let her nervousness show. This would be a long evening, Hermione realized and grabbed the Fairy Wings with a deep sigh. But she would get through it, no matter how often she had to recite the rune alphabet to stay calm, because Hermione was determined to pay her debt with him, better sooner than later.

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposure:_ ** _ 1 hour, 20 minutes, 32 seconds _

**_Physical interaction_ ** _ : none _

**_Observations:_ **

_ Miss Granger seemed rather distant and unwilling to talk to me, which isn't much of a surprise, considering my recent treatment of her. I could tell she was reluctant to return for today's brewing session, seeming more and more nervous during mealtimes and when she entered the lab. I, therefore, tried to keep my interventions at a minimum and instead talked her through most of the steps, encouraging her whenever she did things up to my standards. I could tell she was slowly starting to relax when today's session was over, even though she barely talked or even looked at me. As soon as the session was over, she excused herself and left, again refusing my invitation for tea. Next time I'll try encouraging a scientific discussion. Maybe this will get her to talk to me again at it is the only way to convince her, to agree to meet me, even after the brewing process is finished. Not, that I would overly miss her presence, but it seems to be necessary due to the bond that we are sharing. _

Ssssssss

To say that Hermione was confused would have been a vast understatement. She was beyond confused. Suddenly it was like the last week had not happened for Professor Snape, as he was back to his other more sociable self. From one day to another he had stopped to criticize her. When she did something wrong, he corrected her and explained why another approach would be more helpful. But he never sneered at her or made another insulting comment. Was it just because she had been about to quit her brewing sessions with him? Probably, because there really was no other explanation for his sudden change of behaviour. 

_ Unless he got laid last night _ , she thought to herself with a small snort. Then she froze. The thought alone made her heart ache and her insides run cold. Why though? Why should she get upset at the thought of some nameless woman touching him? Kissing him? Pleasuring him?  It wasn't like that man's private life was any of her business, after all.

Still, Hermione did not trust the current situation. His unpleasant behaviour during the school year she had attributed to his role as a spy and the need to act a certain way as the Head of the House Slytherin. But his rough treatment of her during the last days could not be based on that same reason, as there were no Death Eaters or Slytherins around. The only logical conclusion was therefore that Professor Snape truly despised her and only played nicely because he needed her help. Her help he could get - she had not been able to deny it to him after he had pointed out that she was still in his debt - but she would not let her guard down around him again anytime soon. Because his last sudden change of behaviour had hurt her way too much for that.

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposure:_ ** _ 1 hour, 10 minutes, 45 seconds _

**_Physical interaction_ ** _ : none _

**_Observations:_ **

_ Miss Granger behaviour remains hesitant and she mostly keeps silent in my presence. It is rather worrying, considering the lively discussions we once had. Today, I tried engaging her into a scientific discussion concerning the different preparation techniques of poisonous potion ingredients. She only replied in two sentences, never meeting my eyes as she did. I will try again tomorrow and the following days but I need to make an alternative plan in case my time runs out and the potion is finished before I can find another reason to meet with her again or spark her interest in further scientific collaboration. It is most annoying, but I am sure I will find a way to manipulate her accordingly. _

Ssssssss

_ “ _ This really is a beautiful place," her mum sighed while walking along the lakeshore with her. "I'm really glad your dad and I got a chance to see Hogwarts with our own eyes, even though the circumstances leading to that privilege were rather worrying."

Hermione nodded. Feeling that sudden pain in her arm had been terrifying, but realizing that they had barely escaped a Death Eater attack even more so. Luckily, the memory of this fateful day was rather blurred and her body seemed to have forgotten how it felt to receive the Professor's pain. It was probably because it had not been her own pain.

"Yeah. I don't want to imagine what would have happened if we had not already been in hospital. Do you and dad already know where you will go?" Hermione asked, while staring at the smooth surface of the lake. The Giant Squid was nowhere to be seen.

"We considered Australia but decided it would be too far away to keep in touch. Instead, we decided that moving to Germany would not be such a bad idea. Your Professor Dumbledore said that you could easily reach us there via Portkey or owl. And as your dad and I do already have some contacts in Munich…"

Hermione nodded. That did make sense. She told her mother as much, while they slowly walked along the Black Lake, the still water reflecting the blue sky above them. Afterwards, they walked for a while in silence and Hermione was just about to lose herself in her thought, when her mum said: "What is it, Honey? You seem kind of out of it today."

Hermione looked at her with a sigh. Her mum had always been able to tell when something was wrong, but she guessed today even Ron would have realized something was amiss. "I… I do have some problems with Professor Snape," she finally confessed silently. "Sometimes I just don't know what to think about him. He's always been rather unfriendly towards me but after I landed myself in the infirmary, I somehow got the impression he changed. But now I'm not so sure. It's like his behaviour towards me is constantly changing and I just don't know what to  _ think _ …” she moaned and threw her hands in the air. Her mum watched her with a contemplative expression. 

"What is there to think? Maybe the man just has some good and some bad days, like we all have. He's only your teacher, love. You survived his grumpiness for five years now, you can manage another two, right? After the holidays you just have to see him twice a week."

Hermione nodded mutely. Her mum was right, of course. It was only a few more days until the potion was finished. Then, Professor Snape could be as grumpy as he liked, because she wouldn't have to stand his bad mood until the beginning of the school year. So why was she still bothered by this? "Mum? I… I think I have a crush on him," she hastily admitted with pinkening cheeks. "I know it's insane, the man probably doesn't even like me but…"

Her mum stopped in her tracks and focussed her with calm, brown eyes. “Lots of girls do have a crush on their teacher at least once in their life,” she said, a knowing smile gracing her lips, “I certainly had one on my PE teacher, when I was your age. Usually, those feelings fade after some time, as they  _ should _ . You’re still so young, love, and considering you’ve barely even got to know boys…” She sighed. “Try not to read too much into it. Just remember: He  _ is _ your Professor and nothing can come of it, at least not for quite a while.”

“I know that,” Hermione said tiredly. “I really do. It’s just all so confusing. Some days I don’t even like him but then again…” she sighed. “Arrrgh, puberty sucks!”

At that, her mum chuckled. “I know love. How about you try going on a date or two? How about your friend Ron, for example? He’d definitely be interested in you, that much was obvious from his recent visit.”

“You want me to date Ron?” Hermione asked wide-eyedly. 

"Why not? It doesn't need to be something serious, love. Just try it out. And who knows? Maybe the two of you get along better than you expect? It will definitely help you to get your mind off certain dark, broody Professors, don't you think?" her mum asked, winking at her. Hermione chuckled at her mum's gesture, but then she started thinking. Would Ron really agree, if she asked him on a date? And did she actually want that? She did not know, but maybe the thought was worth considering it. Until the holidays ended she still had enough time to think about her mum's suggestion. And who knew? Maybe she would even find the courage to ask Ron on a date, as soon as he met him back at Hogwarts.

ssssssss

“Mr Granger, Sir! Mrs Granger! The Headmaster has asked Dobby to invite you into his office!” a well-known voice squeaked, making Hermione look up from her book in surprise. She and her parents were sitting by the lakeshore again, as this had quickly gotten their favourite place to spend the afternoons. But now her parents looked at Dobby in surprise and confusion, unable to formulate a reply.

"Hello Dobby," she quickly greeted the elf, a friendly smile on her face.

"Professor Dumbledore wants to see my parents, you say?"

“Yes, Hermione Granger, Miss. I could take them, if you wish!” the little fellow chirped enthusiastically, bouncing on his feet excitedly. 

Hermione nodded, before turning to her parents. “Mum, Dad, this is Dobby. Dobby is a house-elf and a friend,” she said and looked at the little servant with a smile. “He is working at Hogwarts, you know?”

Her mum looked at Dobby with a polite smile. “Hello Dobby, it’s so nice to meet you!” she said, crouching down to be at the same height. “I am Emma and this is my husband, Dan.”

Dobby looked at them with wide eyes. Even though Hermione and her friends had treated him civilly for years now, it was still unexpected for him to be treated with friendliness, Hermione thought sadly.

“Dobby is honoured to meet you, Mr and Mrs Granger! The Headmaster is wanting to speak with you. Shall Dobby take you to him?” 

Her mum looked at Dobby with a friendly smile. “That would be lovely, Dobby. Wouldn’t it, Dan?”

“Absolutely, Dobby. Lead the way!”

Ssssssss

“So this is where you work, Dobby,” Emma Granger said two hours later, staring at the interior of the Hogwarts kitchens with wide eyes. 

"Yes, ma'am," Dobby chirped excitedly, his little chest puffed in pride. Apart from him, only a few other elves were around and most of them stared at the three newcomers with hesitation or even distrust. Hermione could see some more elves hiding behind the stoves or under the cupboards, but she chose not to say anything about it, while the little fellows could hear them. She could explain the house-elves' hesitancy to her parents later.

"Those are Hogwarts' kitchens. Many elves is proudly working here, as Headmaster Dumbledore is a very good master."

Hermione saw the assembled elves nod in agreeance and smiled. That was when Dobby continued: "House-elves are very proud to work hard for their masters, Ma'am. I is not only working in the kitchens but also taking care of the Gryffindor dormitories, as most other elves still avoid going there."

Her mum looked at the house-elf with a kind smile. "This indeed sounds to me like you are a very hard-working elf, Dobby," she said. "Why are the other elves avoiding the Gryffindor tower? Is it haunted or something?"

At that, Hermione saw Dobby getting uncomfortable, as he started wringing his hands while looking at her with wide, scared eyes. Hermione sighed. "I guess the reason would be me," she finally said and looked at her mum with an apologetic smile. "You know, house-elves are usually not paid for their work, as they are bound to their masters like slaves. They can only be freed by being given clothes." Hermione saw the assembled elves nervously shuffle their feet, some of them retreating back from her for a few steps. She sighed. "In my fourth year, I tried freeing them by putting out clothes for them to take. Because Slavery is wrong and I couldn't let it happen in front of my own eyes and do nothing about it."

Dobby looked at her with hanging ears, while the other elves retreated even further. “Miss Hermione surely did not mean any harm,” he mumbled, while nervously wringing his hands. “And Dobby is already a free elf, therefore the clothes did not bother him. And Dobby does not mind cleaning the tower on his own.”

Emma and Dan Granger looked at him with furrowed brows. “Did the other elves not want to be freed?” her dad asked, before looking around the room. There, numerous elves frantically shook their heads. Hermione looked at them with dismay.

"I stopped putting out clothes more than a year ago," she defended herself, when her dad's eyes finally came resting on her. "I realized what I was doing wasn't working and that I have to find another way to help them," she said, oblivious to the fact, that some of the elves retreated even further. But Dan and Emma Granger saw and focussed their daughter with a stern expression.

“Let me get this straight,” her father said, his voice dark, “you tried freeing those elves by  _ tricking _ them?" He did not wait for her answer though, but instead, focussed the other elves in the room. "Does anyone of you  _ want _ to be freed?"

Again, the little creatures shook their heads, their ears tottering as they did so. “No, Sir,” a little female answered, carefully walking closer, more than once looking cautiously into her direction, like she was expecting Hermione suddenly throwing clothes at her. “Being freed is seen as a disgrace among the other elves. Being freed means being without a master and being without a master means being without work,” she squeaked, her huge green eyes slowly filling with tears, “It is the  _ worst _ that can happen to an elf, Sir. Elves love to work, we’s live to work, Sir. Masters free their elves as a punishment for being a bad elf, you see? But Hogwarts elves are good elves, Potty  _ swears _ !”

Her dad's eyes slowly focussed back on her, disappointment and anger reflecting in them. “Hermione?” he asked, in a tone that urged her to explain. She sighed. 

"They can't see that it's wrong, dad. It's the way the wizarding world worked for hundreds of years, the way they are bred and brought up for generations. It's causing them to  _ want _ to be enslaved. I know it sounds foreign," she said, but if possible her dad's expression grew even darker.

“No, Hermione. What sounds foreign to us is  _ you _ ,” he said, the other elves seemingly forgotten. “Did we not teach you to respect other cultures and customs or to respect other people's wishes?” he said, shaking his head. 

“You did,” she answered with downcast eyes. “But…”

“No buts, young lady. You just heard the house-elves. They don’t want to be freed and it is not for you to decide otherwise. Do you understand?”

"Yes, Dad," Hermione mumbled embarrassedly. Suddenly she remembered her mum's words - the conversation they had right after she came home from Hogwarts a few weeks ago. Her mum had told her she needed to stop forcing her opinion on others but suddenly she realized, that she'd done it  _ again _ . Merlin, her mum was right. This had to change.

Suddenly, Hermione could see some of the elves coming closer, staring at the scene with wide, disbelieving eyes. 

“Is young Miss going to be punished, Sir?” the house-elf Potty asked, her voice sounding a bit too excited for Hermione’s liking.

Still, she saw her father nod. “I promise you, she will be taught a lesson. My daughter did wrong, on all of you,” he said, his eyes travelling through the room, “and we will teach her to do better on you in the future. You will not have to fear entering the Gryffindor tower any longer, I will make sure of it.”

Potty nodded, her green eyes shining with excitement. “Thank you, Sir. Potty is so happy to hear that, Sir. I has missed cleaning the Gryffindor tower  _ very much _ .”

Her parents looked at the little fellows in dismay. “Hermione? You will apologize to those elves, are we understood?” her mum said sternly. “And afterwards we are going to talk about your punishment.”

Hermione nodded embarrassedly, but before she could reply something Potty said: "If you want to punish her right here, Sir, Potty is only too happy to borrow her pressing iron. It makes very memorable punishments, you see?"

Ssssssss

Officially apologizing to the house-elves was one of the hardest things Hermione had ever done. It wasn't that she didn't want to apologize, she did, but doing so in Professor Snape's and the Headmaster's presence during lunchtime, was more than a little bit embarrassing. Still, her parents were convinced that it would teach her a lesson and it did. Because Hermione did not want to do such a thing ever again.

She decided that she did not want to stall the inevitable until after lunch. As long as she hadn't put this task behind her, she wasn't hungry anyway. This was why she only waited until everyone had sat down, before she cleared her throat, got up and said: "It has been brought to my attention, that I have terribly wronged the Hogwarts house-elves during the last two years. Probably most of you remember my campaign to free the house-elves, even against their own will. Today I know, that this was wrong." Hermione bit her lip and stared down at her plate. She did not want to see Professor Snape's face and the disdainful sneer that was surely there. He would tell her soon enough how immature and stupid she was. "Therefore I want to formally apologize to all of you house-elves at the castle and as a punishment and reparation…" she swallowed, "I will provide you with additional work for the next year. I am truly sorry for what I did to you and I promise, to not interfere with your work again."

For a moment Hermione remained standing, her face red with embarrassment. She was just about to sit down again, when she suddenly heard somebody knocking on the table at the other end of the table. Hermione looked up in surprise and across from her, she could see Albus Dumbledore doing so with a pleased smile on his face.

"Thank you, Miss Granger," he said a moment later. "It takes a lot of courage to accept and admit one's mistakes and you have shown great courage by doing so. It is a feat most adults are still too proud to perform. I am sure the house-elves will be pleased to receive and accept your apology. Elves are very forgiving by nature, you know?"

Hermione nodded awkwardly, before sitting down again. She'd rather not discuss this embarrassing incident any longer and therefore she was only too eager to start lunch. Luckily, Professor Dumbledore did not say anything else on the matter and a moment later their meal appeared in front of her on the table. And there it was. Right in front of her was a small vase, containing a single, yellow tulip. For a moment Hermione looked at it with a stunned expression, before she decided to look up its meaning later, when she had time. For now, she carefully put the vase aside, before silently starting to eat her lunch. While she did, she carefully avoided looking in Professor Snape's direction, even when she clearly felt his eyes resting on her more than once.

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposure:_ ** _ 1 hour, 8 minutes, 32 seconds _

**_Physical interaction_ ** _ : none _

**_Observations:_ **

_ The girl's meetings with me get shorter and shorter, with her skills in the lab and her efficiency improving day by day. She is still hesitant to talk to me, even after a week of me walking on eggshells around her. It is most annoying. She never refuses to answer the questions I am asking her, but her answers are always short and precise, never the wordy monologues they used to be in the past. I find myself pleased at her gain of self-control, but at the same time, it is more and more evident that meeting her on a regular basis will be most difficult after the potion is finished. Only three more days and I will only be able to see her during mealtimes, or when I decide to stalk her in secret, a thing I find myself more and more reluctant to do. My Animagus form is currently not very helpful in doing so, as it is short of a wing right now. Of course, I can always approach her while being disillusioned or even levitate myself up a tree, before transforming, but doing so is very risky and more than a little cumbersome. _

_ But what other options do I have, without having to spill the whole, embarrassing truth? I should have listened to the Headmaster for once and told her right in the beginning, because now telling her without driving her away is absolutely impossible. _

Ssssssss

The potion was finished. Hermione could not believe her luck. It had almost taken three weeks until the potion's colour shifted one last time and Professor Snape carefully bottled two phials of a thick sky blue potion  with a blank look on his face. 

"It's done," she murmured, unable to hide the relief and pride reflecting in her voice. Relief that this was the last private brewing session with Professor Snape and pride that she had really done it. She had brewed a potion that wasn't even in the Curriculum or available at St Mungo's. As far as she knew, Snape had invented the recipe himself and given his high standards, it was a miracle she had not been told to start over. She hoped that meant the potion would work for him and Professor Dumbledore.

“It is,” he replied neutrally before pocketing both phials in his robe.  She never caught his grimace at her obvious relief to be done with their work. 

Hermione asked herself if he would take the potion right away after she was gone. Probably. And for a small moment, she wished she'd be able to see it when he regrew his arm. But then she remembered how inappropriate that would be and hastily pushed the thought away. "I will go now, Sir." Hermione said, after she made sure that all tools and surfaces were clean. "I really hope the potion works because no matter what you might think, I do prefer you with two arms, Sir."

It was her attempt to say something lighthearted as her heart suddenly clenched at the realization that from now on she would spend her evenings in the library again - alone. No matter how unpleasant the start of her potions work had been, during the last two weeks, Professor Snape had taught her a lot, as he had never been too proud to explain the different steps to her. By that, Hermione did not only improve her brewing skills, but she had also a growing understanding of potion development and what different factors needed to be taken into concern. It was a completely different thing than following a recipe and she was pretty sure that she'd never been able to learn those things during a regular potions lesson. It also pained her to lose this chance for private tutoring now but more than anything, she felt relieved - relieved that she would finally get a chance to get a grip on herself and her hormonal feelings again.

Professor Snape looked at her with a crooked smile on his lips. The sight was so unusual but the amused undertone in his voice even more so.  "Oh? I will consider myself lucky then, as any other student of mine would not have expressed that sentiment. I would not have been able to do this on my own Miss Granger."

Hermione blinked a hesitant smile creeping on her lips. “I’m glad I was able to help, Professor. I did learn a lot, both from you and the book you gave me,” she said  while pulling Professor Snape's old potions book out of her robe. She had kept it way longer than she had planned to and by now, she knew all of the notes he had taken by heart. It was time for her to give it back and start distancing herself from the man whose written words she had secretly re a d on an almost daily basis. “I am thankful too,” she admitted, handing him the book as carefully as possible. 

Professor Snape took it from her with an unreadable expression on his face. “Consider your debt with me as paid, Miss Granger,” he said, after putting his book down on the table at his left side, “I know working with me isn’t always easy, but you did remarkably well.”

For a moment she was stunned by his words. It was the biggest and probably only praise she had ever received from him. “Thank you, Sir,” she said, unable to suppress the smile that broke out on her face. 

They stared at each other for several seconds and Hermione could have sworn that Professor Snape wanted to say something else to her. But when he remained silent, she nodded towards him with a smile and said: "With your permission, I will go now. Good night, Sir."

"Good night, Miss Granger," he replied, while his dark eyes stared at her almost contemplatively. But she forced herself not to think about it too much. Her mum was right. The man was her Professor, for god's sake, and nothing could come out of this stupid crush of her's. Therefore it was totally useless to mull over the fact, that his voice had sounded somewhat hoarse and what that could possibly mean.


	17. Drawn to you

“Promise me to enjoy this time abroad,” Hermione whispered, tears glittering in her eyes. It had been three weeks since the attack on her home, three weeks she had thoroughly enjoyed spending with her parents at Hogwarts. She had shown them everything she could without getting into trouble. They had enjoyed several picnics and walks outside  on the grounds, as the weather had been as great as it could be in Scotland. It had been wonderful and the three of them had grown much closer to each other. But no matter how pleased Hermione was about this new understanding between her and her parents, it made saying goodbye to them even harder now. “I’ll write to you as often as I can, but I’m not sure how often I can ask the school owls to travel to Germany and back.” 

"We know, pumpkin," her dad said and pulled her into a hug. Usually, he wasn't as openly affectionate with her, especially not with others watching, but everything seemed to be different now, and Hermione was not complaining. "But we'll be fine, don't worry, and you'll be too. Just don't let those boys tease you too much, you hear me?"

Hermione nodded with a smile. “I can take them, dad, and I promise to be careful whenever I’m leaving the castle."

Her parents smiled and behind them, she could see Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape stepping closer to them. The Headmaster had already regained his second arm and Hermione could see him smile broadly at her and her parents. Professor Snape, on the other hand, was still lacking his left arm and Hermione could not help but wonder why he had still not chosen to regrow it, as the potion was finished for a few days now. But then she remembered that it was none of her business and focussed her attention back on her parents.

“It’s time,” she heard the Headmaster say and a moment later she saw him present an old-looking key on a delicate gold necklace to her mother. 

“This is your port key. It will take you directly to your new home.”

Her mum took the offered gift with a wide smile. “Thank you, Headmaster Dumbledore. You have done so much for us and I don’t know how we’ll ever be able to repay you for your kindness.”

Her father nodded. "It's still a miracle how you restored our house that quickly, without any of our neighbours wondering about it. But I guess we'll slowly need to accept that magic can do even more incredible things than we'll ever be able to grasp." With that, her dad stepped closer and shook Professor Dumbledore's restored right arm. "If there is ever anything you need from us, Sir, don't hesitate to ask."

Professor Dumbledore smiled. “Your daughter Hermione did already more than I would have deemed possible for any witch or wizard her age. Trusting us with her care and education is all I could ever ask. I can imagine that parting from her is not easy. There is nothing more I could ever ask from you.”

Hermione’s parents nodded, as suddenly the port key in her mum’s hands started to glow. 

“It activates in a few seconds,” Professor Snape said, his voice totally unimpressed. “Hold on tightly and don’t let go,” he instructed while gently putting his hand on her shoulder. Then he stepped back and pulled her with him.

"Goodbye mum, goodbye dad," Hermione said with a teary smile. But there was no time for them to reply, as her mum, her dad and Professor Dumbledore were pulled away from her a moment later, leaving her and Professor Snape standing alone in the grass close to the apparition point. She'd miss them, Hermione realized - more than she had after having finished her first year at Hogwarts. Yes, her first friendless months at the castle had been hard, but ever since she had found Harry and Ron being away from her parents had gotten more and more bearable. Now she realized that it was because they had slowly started to drift apart, with them being unaware about most things going on in her life. Today it was different. Now her parents understood why Hermione desperately wanted to stay and it made her love them even more for it.

“We should go back inside,” Professor Snape said behind her, his hand now gone from her shoulder. She had not even noticed him putting it there. “It will take the Headmaster a while to come back, as he wants to make sure your parent’s new home is properly protected. You should consider yourself lucky he has taken such an interest in your and your parent’s wellbeing.”

“I am,” Hermione said solemnly. “In more than one way, Sir. But I guess you are right. We should head back.” She turned back towards the castle. 

“Wait,” he suddenly said, stepping next to her with two long strides. “I wanted to inform you that I will start regrowing my arm tonight. It might not be very pleasant and as you are forced to experience my… discomfort, I wanted you to be aware of what is happening.”

“Thank you for warning me. It’s alright, Sir. I’m sure I’ll somehow be able to handle it, especially now that I know that it’s not actually my own pain. Please don't worry about me."

Professor Snape nodded, his almost black eyes looking at her with an intensity that was hard for her to interpret. "I will not be able to take any pain-reducing potions," he said ”as they would interfere with the other one so…” his hand slipped into his robe and he took out a phial with a milky, purple potion. He offered it to her with a solemn expression. “In case you are not able to handle it, here’s some  _ Dreamless Sleep _ for you. Regular pain potions would not help you, but this should be able to knock you out and let you rest. Tomorrow… things hopefully won’t be as bad any longer.”

Hermione carefully took the potion from him, their fingers brushing together as she did so. Now, that she was fully aware of the contact, her skin started to tingle and her heart stuttered in excitement. Merlin. She could only hope the Professor wouldn’t notice. “Thank you, Sir,” she mumbled, while pocketing the potion. “This is very thoughtful of you. I wish you a speedy recovery.”

“Indeed,” Professor Snape said, before he suddenly turned around and walked away from her. Hermione followed him with her eyes for a moment, her heart strangely aching with every step he took away from her. He would be alright, she told herself as she slowly followed him back to the castle. If something went wrong, that strange connection between them would let her know, Hermione told herself, and she realized that she was secretly glad about it.

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposure:_ ** _ 31 minutes, 45 seconds _

**_Physical interaction:_ **

  * _3 seconds (touching her shoulder to guide her into a safe distance for the port key to activate)_
  * _2 seconds (accidental brushing of fingers)_



**_Observations_ ** _ :  _

_ Now that our daily brewing sessions have come to an end, I find myself more and more restless. After meeting the girl at mealtimes, the urge to see Miss Granger seems somewhat lessened and even though no physical unwellness can be detected from my side, I find myself constantly wishing for her presence. Still, I forced myself to stay away from her as much as possible. _

_ Tonight, I will finally take the potion to regrow my arm. I am not worried about the pain, as I have suffered through much worse. Still, I find myself uncomfortable at the thought of her experiencing it with me, which lets me hope she will take the phial of Dreamless Sleep I have given to her. I am used to suffering alone, after all, and I don’t need an innocent teenage girl to suffer with me.  _

Ssssssss

The pain started right when Hermione was about to go to bed. She had expected it, of course, but for a moment she still sharply sucked in her breath from the intensity of it. Mercifully it wasn’t as bad as when the Professor had needed to remove his arm, but she still felt queasy at the thought of suffering through it all night. Maybe she  _ should _ take the potion Professor Snape had given to her. But no, she wanted to know if he was alright, or if he was in too much pain, even though she wasn’t even sure if she would be able to do something for the man, if it came to that. 

The minutes trickled by, one by one with maddening slowness. It was only fifteen minutes until she found herself pacing the room restlessly. More than once she found herself at the door, about to storm to the hospital wing but then she realized that the Professor would probably not want to have her there. It wasn't like she could do something for him anyway.

But still… Was the pain worse for him? And was anyone with him to see if he was alright? He would be at the hospital wing, right? There Madam Pomphrey would take care of him. Because no one should be alone while experiencing such an amount of pain.

After thirty minutes she found herself questioning all her decisions, her legs more and more carrying her towards the door, while she was clutching her arm below the shoulder. The pain was like a sharp throbbing, that slowly seemed to move downwards. Was that indicating that the arm was growing? Probably. 

Merlin, she wanted to see him… she even  _ neede _ d to. Why? Whatever this was, it was more than a stupid crush or anything she had so far experienced. 

Hermione found herself moaning in frustration and walking out of her room a moment later. Somehow it was like her feet were carrying her without her guidance, seemingly knowing where to take her, without Hermione consciously being aware of her destination. She did not care. With every step she took her nervousness seemed to lessen, while her heart grew lighter and lighter until she found herself at a door, next to Professor Snape’s private lab, a door she had never before even realized being there in the first place. Strange. Why hadn’t she walked to the hospital wing? Somehow she knew she was at the right place though, her body humming in satisfaction, even though that  _ did not make sense.  _ But Hermione didn’t care, because being here felt  _ right _ in a way her logic could not explain. 

She did not even hesitate to knock on the door, even though her heart had started to beat nervously in her chest. Would he send her away? Or would he even open the door?

He did, Hermione realized a moment later, as the man was suddenly standing in front of her, his eyes completely black and his expression unreadable. “Professor Snape...I…” she mumbled, realizing that his upper body was only clad by a black vest, leaving his stump clearly visible for her. She stared at it with wide eyes. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked with gritted teeth, even though she could have sworn that his voice was quivering for a moment.

What was she even supposed to say to that? There was no logical explanation for her being here. “I know I should not be here, Sir, but somehow it felt like I just  _ needed _ to be. I didn't even know this door existed a few minutes ago, but still, I'm here and I… Merlin, I do sound completely insane, do I not?"

Professor Snape studied her for a long moment, his eyes taking in her wild hair and her nervous expression. “Indeed,” he replied, leaving it open which of her previous statements he was referring to. But a moment later he stepped aside, motioning with his head for her to step inside and Hermione hastily did so, without saying a word. As soon as she entered the room Hermione realized that she was in Professor Snape's private quarters. After stepping through a small cloakroom she entered a rather large living room with a comfortable looking leather sofa in the middle and at least ten stuffed bookshelves, lining the walls. There was also a large fireplace on the wall facing the sofa, as well as a large, fluffy, green carpet in front of it. Altogether the room was much more comfortable than she had thought, or Ron and Harry would ever believe, in the unlikely case she would ever tell them about her presence in these quarters. 

“Sit,” she heard Professor Snape’s voice from behind and when she turned around she saw him walking towards her, before throwing himself on the sofa, his mouth set in a grim line. Hermione watched him worriedly for a moment, before she hastily chose one of the matching armchairs to sit down on it. 

She was at a loss what to say, but she found her eyes being pulled towards him, seeking out his face and the area of his body, she knew was in pain right now. 

“Are you alright, Sir? I… want to help…” she mumbled, fully aware how stupid she probably sounded. What could she even do, that he could not do himself?

“The pain is bearable,” Professor Snape answered, his eyes closed while his head rested on the sofa’s backrest. “At least for me. Why did you not take the potion I gave you? It was meant to help you through this.”

Hermione nodded, a weak smile on her lips. Now that she was with him, the pain had somehow lessened and was now totally bearable. It was like being close to Professor Snape and seeing his condition, somehow lessened the pain that was projected to her, if that made any sense - which it didn’t. “I’m alright, Sir,” she said, considering if she should tell the man of her theory. She probably should, as the Professor had already told her that information on their condition was difficult to find. But maybe now, when the man was suffering, wasn’t quite the right time. “I don’t know how to explain this, but taking the potion somehow felt wrong. I wanted to know if you are alright, Sir, or if I needed to get help.”

Professor Snape looked at her with a dark smile. "We are at Hogwarts, Miss Granger. One word and the house-elves would have taken me to the hospital wing. But I didn't see the use of submitting myself to Poppie's nagging, when I could instead heal in peace and quiet."

"Do you want me to go, Sir?" Hermione found herself asking nervously while taking in the man's appearance. There was a line of sweat on his forehead, while his long black hair was clinging even more to his skin than usual. And then there were his eyes: black fathomless orbs that did not have any expression in them and somehow that made her worry about him the most.

“If I didn’t want to have you here, I would not have let you in,” he answered simply, his voice even. “And I will not throw you out as long as you don’t start to annoy me.”

“I’ll try not to, Sir,” Hermione said, a hesitant smile creeping on her face. “Is there anything I can do for you, Sir? A cup of tea maybe? Or I could read to you from a book, to distract you from the pain, you know? Just tell me what you need. I’d do anything to help.”

At that, his eyes snapped open and he raised his head to stare at her with a look that made her shiver for a moment  from its intensity . “Anything, huh?” he asked with a dark undertone in his voice. “I very much doubt that, girl. But I guess a cup of tea wouldn’t be so bad right now.”


	18. Touch me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a horrible week at work and it often left me too tired to write in the evenings. But I have not forgotten you and I am determined to continue with this story now that it’s finally the weekend.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter guys and let me know, what you think of it.

Severus watched the girl leave the room with hungry eyes. She hastened towards his small kitchen,  her wild curls bouncing behind her while she hurried away in the hope to be  _ helpful _ . Dear Merlin, she had no idea what she was doing to him. Somehow her scent was right in his nostrils even though she was several metres away. Her wild curls made him want to bury his fingers in them, messing them while his mouth kissed her pink lips until she whimpered beneath him. It would indeed help to distract him from the pain or in fact from  _ anything that was not her _ but that was of course not the kind of help she meant when she offered to be of service to him. The innocent young girl that she was, she probably hadn't even considered him having such sinful thoughts.

But unbeknownst to her, she was still helping. Ever since she had entered his rooms, the pain had somewhat lessened until it was more of a dull throbbing that he did not feel the need to drown in Firewhiskey any longer. Not that he could have done so, as intoxicating himself could have ended with him having everything but a usable arm afterwards. 

The girl being here with him was a small miracle itself. His private quarters were incredibly well warded, unable for any student to even find. Usually, he directed them to his office which was accessible for him in the blink of an eye and the wards there would alarm him whenever he was needed. Still, Miss Granger had found him and knocked at the door,  _ that shouldn’t even have been there for her _ . It could only be due to the bond between them and the fact that he had desperately wished for her to be there with him. Severus could only imagine that his magic had called out for her, after the pain had started to set in, pretty much like her magic had called for him after she had been wounded in the Ministry of magic. Obviously, his magic gave a flying fuck about property, when it lured an innocent girl into his quarters while be barely had himself under control. 

“Here’s your tea, Professor,” Miss Granger’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. There she was, walking back to him with a tray, laden with a teapot and two big mugs, a friendly smile gracing her lips. How different and open she suddenly behaved in his presence, considering that she had barely talked to him in the last weeks. He wasn’t going to complain, even though his logical side already started to chastise him for letting the girl in. But right now he gave a damn about his logical side, not when having her here was feeling so  _ good _ . 

“I can see that,” he said, watching the girl as she poured him a cup of strong, black tea and offered him lemon, milk and sugar, which he refused. Then she settled back down in his armchair, adding two spoons of sugar to her own tea. Weren’t her parents dentists or something? Not that broken teeth mattered for a witch or wizard, as this was a thing magic could easily fix. 

“Is there anything else you need, Professor?” the girl asked, eagerness substituting hesitancy in her voice. “Or should I just sit here and stop nagging you?”

He snorted. Then he considered her words. There was no question that he wanted her to stay. He could very well use their time together to build something like a friendly relationship with her, much like he intended to do during the last weeks. “How about you distract me by telling me about these microscopes, Miss Granger? Now, that I was not able to try yours with different potion ingredients, I started to ask myself if it would be possible to modify one with magical means, to make it work for the magical world. What do you think?”

Miss Granger looked at him with furrowed brows. “It could work, Sir. The only problem is the lack of electricity. But I guess as it is only needed for the light source, it could be replaced with a magical light, as long as it can be dimmed. If one was invested and creative enough, there could even be a few ways in which the device could be improved. That would be for later though, after one managed to get the microscope to work properly.”

Severus nodded. He could tell the project had gained her interest, as he could already see her planning out the first steps in her mind. Good. Maybe she would be interested enough to work with him on this little project, if he did not ruin things between them again by being an arsehole to her. “That sounds promising and very useful, if one could get it to work. But for that one would not only need a good grasp on Muggle science, but also a talent for Charms and Transfiguration.”

Miss Granger nodded, while her eyes seemed to stare unseeingly into the distance. He patiently waited for her to contemplate his words. After a while, she said: "Sir? I do not mean to pry but I wonder. You are a half-blood, are you not? Why do you need me to tell you about a microscope? Have you not attended Muggle school before Hogwarts?”

Severus considered how much he should tell her. His private life and especially his past were actually none of her business. On the other hand, her question was understandable, considering her upbringing, and to answer it, he would not have to reveal much. Still, it would be a good way to gain some of the girl's trust and maybe convince her, to work with him again.

“I was taught at home, as it is the case for many wizarding children. My mother was a pureblood and even though my father was a muggle, she would not have it any other way,” he explained, leaving out that he had begged her more than once to let him attend school, only to get away from home for a few hours. But it had been of no use. 

“I see,” the girl answered, a pleased smile on her face. “Thank you for telling me. I will readily explain everything you want to know, Sir.”

“Very well,” he said, pleased to have found a thing they could work on together, as soon as he was recovered. “But not tonight, as my capacity to listen attentively is rather limited due to my current condition. As soon as I am recovered, I will gladly listen to your explanations, though.”

Miss Granger nodded, a smile on her lips. The sight of it, of her in his armchair, touched something deep inside him and for a moment the hungry animal within him reared its head again, demanding him to make her his. He pushed it away, squashed it, with everything he had. He would not touch the girl, at least not for quite a while or never, if she did not want him to.

For a while, there was silence between them and even though he enjoyed the girl's quiet presence, he could see her nervously gnawing on her bottom lip, probably unsure what to say to him. The gesture was enough to distract him from his pain for the next minute, until he realized he was staring at her mouth again and hastily lowered his gaze. Sweet Salazar. Those next minutes or probably hours would be a true challenge for his self-control. But he did not want to change the girl’s presence in his rooms, even if it made him happy and desirous at the same time. 

Ssssssss

Hermione felt… strange and that wasn’t even starting to describe it. The pain in her arm was almost gone and had been substituted by a strange prickling on her skin, that started to spread from her left arm, all over her body. It wasn’t uncomfortable per se, but she felt more and more restless, the longer she stayed in the Professor’s room, especially as she could feel his eyes on her now and then. Had he noticed something was wrong with her? She hoped not. 

It was when she next glanced at him, that her eyes fell on his stump. It had definitely grown and now reached down until shortly above the point, where his elbow would hopefully soon be. The new skin was still rosy and fresh, but for now, everything seemed in order from what she could see. 

“You’re staring, girl” he chastised her, making her realize how rude she had been. Of course, he would not want her to study that particular part of his body, no matter how fascinating it was to her.

“Sorry, Sir. It’s just that the potion seems to be working,” Hermione explained, her cheeks pinkening with embarrassment. “I hoped it would, as it had restored Professor Dumbledore’s arm, but I still could not help but be worried.” The Professor stared at her in silence, his eyes studying her with an intensity, that made her want to squirm in her seat. But she tried to remain still under his gaze. 

“You were worried,” he repeated, his voice flat with a disbelieving tone. 

"Of course I was." She said a little indignant. "I said I preferred you with both arms, Sir," Hermione replied defensively. "And I meant it." She added with a small smile that she felt fell flat.

“I see.” Professor Snape replied before he suddenly leapt from the sofa and started pacing the room. He hadn't even touched his tea she realized, forcing herself to slowly sip from her mug. The black tea would hopefully help her to stay awake because there was no saying, how long it would take for that arm to grow. It would probably be hours - but she did not anticipate to be allowed to stay for such a long time, even though she desperately wanted to. But with this awkward silence stretching on between them…

"What are you going to teach next year, Professor?" Hermione asked, in an attempt to keep the conversation going. She remembered him telling her that he would not continue teaching potions, but as he was still here she assumed, he would remain at Hogwarts in another position. 

“I’m finally getting the chance to teach you some defence, Miss Granger,” he said, his eyes resting on her. “But it took Dumbledore running out of other options to finally give me the position.”

  
  


Hermione stared at him with wide eyes. “But they say there’s a curse on that position,” she said without thinking about it. But as she saw the Professor’s mouth curl into an amused smile she realized, that she probably shouldn’t have said anything. 

“Then I guess you’ll only have to suffer my presence for one more year,” he replied, smiling crookedly at her. “Potter and your friend Weasley will be delighted.”

“I won’t,” she said, before thinking twice about it, and hastily added: “You’re a good teacher, Sir, and I am sure you will be doing much better than some of our previous defence teachers.”

“That’s hardly an achievement,” Professor Snape said mockingly, sitting back down on his chair. “It’s a miracle you’ve learned anything at all during those last years,” he muttered, before taking a large sip from his mug.

Hermione nodded with a sigh, but she did not comment. She was not going to complain about Professor Umbridge or Professor Lockard in front of another teacher, because that would have been incredibly rude. And Hermione was brought up to be better than that. Instead, she said: "I'm sure I'll learn a lot from you, Sir."

He looked at her with a dark smile, while his eyes focussed her with an intensity that made her shiver again. “We’ll see.”

Ssssssss

The girl was killing him. Her innocence and naivety made him want to sneer at her, but at the same time, she really seemed to look forward to having him as a teacher and her concern for his well being seemed to be genuine, a realization that made him feel disgustingly warm and fuzzy inside. She cared about him, if only in a very impersonal or indirect way, which was more than he deserved after years of mocking the girl in front of his Slytherins. Most of the other students would have been gleeful at him losing his arm, or being the victim of the curse, that everyone believed befell every DADA teacher. He would not put it past the Dark Lord to indeed curse the position, as it had left the wizarding world with a generation of badly trained half-bloods and muggle-born students, as most Purebloods arranged private tutoring for their spawns during summer break. There, of course, was no proof of such a curse existing, but just in case he would terminate his contract for the position for a year, as he did not fancy dying now that he had finally found something akin to freedom and a person that seemed to care for him if only marginally. 

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a sharp pain in his growing arm. With a sharp intake of breath, he grabbed it with his other hand, staring at the growing stump with a dark expression. Of course, they had reached the elbow. Growing a whole joint would most likely be painful.

“Professor? What is it?” Miss Granger asked, hurrying to his side. Her face, too, was a grimace of pain and he realized that she must have received his discomfort, at least to some degree. 

He felt himself sway on the sofa, leaning back heavily against the backrest, now desperately wishing for a pain potion again, like he had done before the girl arrived within his quarters. How had the Headmaster endured this without a Kindred Spirit to help him through the pain? 

"Professor?" he heard her ask again, but apart from a groan, there was no answer from him, as he was simply in too much pain to explain. But he guessed he didn't have to, as the girl was able to feel everything anyway.

Then, a moment later she could feel her, as her small hands took his remaining hand and cradled it with worry. With pain clouded eyes he could see her caramel brown eyes studying his face, looking for answers to her questions, that he was currently unable to give. But her hand… it radiated a warmth into his body, that slowly crept up until he could feel the pain easing, if only slightly. Of course, he already had the theory of their bond being able to stimulate self-healing powers, as him touching her curse wound seemed to have helped with her recovery, too. What if… but no… he could not ask that of her. 

“Growing an elbow,” he tried to explain with gritted teeth, “is apparently more painful.” He couldn’t see her reaction, as he had closed his eyes against the pain, but her hands did not let go of him and he tried to focus on her touch instead of the pain. If only…

“Is there anything I can do, Sir?” her small voice asked while her fingers shifted ever so slightly. “Should I get Madam Pomphrey or…”

“No. Stay,” he said, opening his eyes and locking eyes with her. “You are helping with the pain, can’t you tell?”

He saw her eyes go wide in realization. "You can feel it too?" she asked, looking down at their entwined hands and he slowly followed her gaze. Her hands were smaller than his, less wiry but still, the sight of his hand in hers made his heart jump with happiness and joy. She had touched him, out of her own free will, her eyes shining with wonder instead of disgust or resentment. It was a small miracle.

Severus nodded, too tired and in too much pain to keep things from her. Instead, he said: "Your touch seems to help…"

Miss Granger nodded, her eyes seeking him out as if to judge his reaction. “I could… I could try touching the… other arm…” she mumbled, so that he was barely able to hear her words. But he  _ had _ heard, his heart stuttering at her suggestion. 

"That would be inappropriate," Severus replied, but the usual sneer was absent from his voice. Instead, his voice was silent, almost hesitant, because he  _ wanted _ her to do it, inappropriate or not. 

"I know and I won't do it, Sir, if you are uncomfortable with me touching you there. But I want to help and if there is a chance of me being able to ease your pain…" The girl focussed him with her huge, caramel brown eyes, that seemed to almost beg him to give his permission. He could get lost in those eyes, he realized, could stare into them for hours, studying the different shades of caramel without getting bored. Those eyes could hold so many feelings, he thought and right now he found he could not deny them anything, not if the thing the girl asked was, what he secretly wanted, too. 

“Do it then,” he replied, his eyes studying her as he did, looking for some kind of unwellness or fear. But there was none, only determination and kindness. “Touch me,” he said, his voice sounding hoarse, while his heart hammered agitatedly in his ribcage. 

And she did.


	19. Limbo

Hermione’s heart heavily throbbed in her chest, while her right hand slowly moved towards Professor Snape’s left arm - or what remained from it. She could not deny that she was scared of touching it, because being in contact with such a vulnerable part of the Professor’s body felt intimate and almost forbidden. She could see him watching her with dark clouded eyes - probably from the pain, she thought - but Hermione’s focus was on his arm, as the last thing she wanted to do was to hurt him. 

When their skin finally came in contact, a small bout of electricity seemed to rush through her. A moment later it was gone, substituted by a prickling on her skin and a comfortable warmth, that seemed to radiate from his hurt limb.

Hermione’s concentration was broken when she heard a moan from Professor Snape. “Professor? Did I hurt you?” she asked, scanning his face in concern. She hoped not, because she had been as gentle as possible and if she was honest with herself, touching him felt… good in a way she was unable to explain. 

“No,” the Professor replied, his brows knitted together while his eyes travelled to the spot of his arm that was touched by her. They were black and unreadable, Hermione thought, wishing to be able to look into his head for once. 

“Is it helping?” she therefore asked, her voice hopeful. 

“Indeed,” the man replied after a moment of consideration. “There is no logical explanation for it, but the pain has lessened, considerably so.”

Hermione sighed in relief. “I’m glad, Sir, glad that I can do something to make this better for you,” she murmured, feeling her magic humming beneath her fingertips. 

“I  will  consider myself lucky then,” he said, his head lolling back on the backrest while a tired smile appeared on his face.

Hermione stared at him uncertainly. Was this a permission for her to touch him or even a plea to do so? With a man like Severus Snape, it was impossible to tell. “Sir? Do you want me to… I could simply hold you arm, for a while, if you wish as long as it takes for it to regrow. Would you… would you like me to do that?”

The Professor’s eyes snapped open and he raised his head with a sigh. “I will not tell you what to do girl… not in this case. What you’re suggesting is highly inappropriate for a Professor and his student, do you understand?”

Hermione nodded, but at the same time, she looked at him with furrowed brows. "I'd do it to help you, to heal you, for nothing else," she said, determination creeping in her voice. Professor Snape must have heard it as his eyes grew hard a moment later.

“If you decide to do so…  _ to touch me _ … we need to be clear that I did not ask this of you and that it means _ nothing _ except you attempting to help me with my arm. Are we understood?” he said with steel in his voice. 

"Of course, Sir," Hermione mumbled, hoping that she would not blush now. Of course, Professor Snape had no other interest in her touch, except for it to help him improve, which made her stupid crush on him even more annoying. But she could not let it get in the way, not when the man needed her help. "It doesn't mean anything, I know that," she murmured, burying the odd pain in her chest she felt at those words. 

Professor Snape nodded sharply, seemingly satisfied by her words. “Very well. You better sit down then. Or do you prefer to stand in front of me for the next several hours?”

“No, Sir,” Hermione replied, pulling her hand away from his arm before carefully sitting down next to him. Only then she moved her right hand towards him again, putting it around his slowly growing arm. For a moment she felt the man next to her stiffen but he did not say a word. Instead, he stared straight ahead into the room, his expression in an unreadable mask. She could not blame him, as this was a strange situation, especially with him being well… him. Professor Snape wasn’t known for his sociability, after all. Sitting next to him on the sofa, almost holding  ' hands ' felt totally surreal. But it was real, this was really happening, with all the awkwardness one would expect with such a situation. They would probably sit like this for several hours, Hermione thought, desperately searching for something to talk about. She really did not want to spend the next hours in awkward silence. Finally, she chose the next best thing that she thought they could safely talk about.

“Sir? Would you mind telling me about what you’re going to teach us next year? I did not have time to buy any new books and…”

“Already considering to work ahead, Miss Granger?” Professor Snape interrupted her, amusement reflecting in his voice. Amusement was good, Hermione thought. Amusement was way better than awkwardness.

“You know me, Sir,” she replied, looking at him with an almost teasing smile. “I love to be well prepared.”

“Indeed.”

ssssssss

Severus glanced at the girl that had fallen asleep next to him on the sofa not long ago. She had questioned him about school and kept the conversation going with several questions on defence, and he (glad for distraction) had answered them all patiently and as detailed as he could. Most of the time he had looked straight ahead but the few times he dared to look at her, a happy smile played on her lips. No sign of discomfort  was  visible  on her features. And slowly he had started to relax next to her. 

They were not doing something untoward, merely sitting next to each other, like  _ friends _ . There was nothing wrong with that, he decided, as long as he would not favour her in class due to their growing familiarity with each other. Not, that she would not get top marks anyway…

Hermione Granger, the girl was a miracle to him. How could she sit there, touching him, healing him and chatting about  _ school _ like nothing of significance was happening right at this moment? There was not an ounce of discomfort to feel from her, no hesitation to touch him and that even though she had barely been willing to look at him during the last days. Severus did not know what had changed, but he was secretly thankful for it - thankful for her and her ability to make him feel better. The pain was almost gone. What was left was the feeling of his stretching muscles and bones and a slight buzz in his arms, that could or could not have come from her. It seemed to negate the pain, while the warmth radiating from the girl’s small body lulled him into security, that finally made him let go of the worry that had been nagging on him all evening long. 

The girl gave a small whimper in her sleep, before her body shifted against him, her head falling on his shoulder. He should probably wake her, but it was already past three in the morning and he guessed she wasn’t used to a bare minimum of sleep, like he was. And there was no harm in letting her sleep. He still needed her with him, as his hand still needed to regrow and judging by the amount of pain the development of his elbow had caused, he very much wanted his kindred spirit by his side.

Ssssssss

When Hermione awoke a few hours later, Professor Snape was gone. She must have fallen asleep sometime during his healing process, she realized, but as soon as it was finished, the man must have retreated into bed himself, leaving her to rest on the sofa. He had even provided a thick woollen blanket for her and covered her with it. It had kept her warm throughout the night, as had the fire that he must have left burning in the fireplace in front of her.

What was she supposed to do now? Should she just go? The man was surely still asleep, as it must have taken almost all night to let his arm regrow and she imagined that he would need to rest now. Professor Snape surely would not appreciate her roaming his quarters alone or even reading his books, considering what a private person he was. On the other hand leaving felt wrong. She wanted to talk to him about what happened last night, not them staying on the sofa together, but her feeling this strange pull towards him and being able to help him through the pain. Suddenly she was sure that this connection between them was more than the ability to feel each other’s pain and wasn’t that something worth exploring?

“You’re awake,” his voice suddenly sounded from the door in the back of the room and when Hermione raised her head, she could see Professor Snape standing there. He had put on a white, crisp shirt and black trousers and Hermione could have sworn his hair was still wet, indicating that he’d just taken a shower or a bath. But what was important was, that the stump was gone, substituted by a healthy-looking arm. She felt a jolt of happiness rush through her. 

“I am, Sir. Sorry, I must have fallen asleep, some time during the night. Thank you for letting me sleep here.”

Professor Snape nodded, his face back to the unreadable mask she was used from him by now. “It wasn’t a bother as your alertness did not seem to affect the healing process or amount of pain I felt.”

"That's interesting, Sir. In fact, this connection between us is something I wanted to talk about with you. Because after what happened last night, I am sure that it is more than just the ability to feel each other's pain," Hermione found herself saying, while the Professor strode into the room. His feet were still bare, Hermione realized and found herself strangely affected by the sight of it. So this was what Professor Snape looked in the mornings, before he buttoned up his long, black teaching robes.  The realization was almost startling and she felt very happy to be seeing him like this.

“We’ll discuss it over breakfast,” the Professor replied, looking her over with a calm expression. “Go and freshen up in the bathroom. I’ll get us something to eat.”

Hermione nodded with a hesitant smile, before she swung her legs down from the sofa and padded towards the direction, the Professor pointed for her. Freshening up in his bathroom before eating breakfast together - how very … domestic. But strangely, the thought of it made her smile with amusement and happiness. 

Ssssssss

Severus let the elves set up the breakfast table in the other corner of the living room, on a small table by the window he almost never used. Usually, he took his breakfast in the Great Hall, where he could have an eye on his Slytherins while listening in to the gossip Minerva, Pomona and Sybil used to exchange. He wasn’t one to tattle, but he found it useful to keep himself informed about what was going on in the castle and the most useful bits one learned at mealtimes. 

Therefore he first had to remove several piles of books from his small table, before the elves could prepare it for them to use. 

When Miss Granger emerged from the bathroom, she looked a little more put together. He knew there was only so much one could do with magic and without access to fresh clothing and one's personal toiletries. Not that he cared about the girl’s grooming habits, or anyone’s for that matter.

“Sit,” he instructed her, pointing at the chair across the table.

Miss Granger did not hesitate, just walked towards him and slowly sat down on the appointed seat. 

“How are you, Sir? Sorry that I forgot to ask you earlier,” she said silently, while looking at him with a curious expression on her face. 

“You tell me,” Severus challenged before looking at her expectantly.

The girl looked at him in concentration, her eyes shifting to his regrown arm, analysing what she saw with furrowed brows. Finally, her eyes returned back to his face, before she said: “Your arm looks fine to me, Sir, and I can no longer feel any pain in mine which leads me to conclude that you aren’t in any pain either. Or are you?”

He shook his head. “The pain is gone and the arm is functioning well enough. But what is more important…” he carefully pushed up his sleeve and showed her the unblemished skin of his arm. “The mark is gone. I am free.”

Miss Granger stared at his arm unblinkingly, her eyes focussing his pale skin until he pulled his sleeve back down. Only then her eyes blinked and her gaze shifted back to his face. “I am glad it worked, Sir, glad that you’re finally free from him.” 

He saw her bottom lip disappear between her teeth, a nervous gesture that indicated she was probably attempting  to stop herself from  saying more. Severus forced himself to wait calmly, until she found the courage to do so, buttering his toast in the meanwhile. Luckily it did not take long for her to find her words.

“Professor Snape?” she asked, her voice quivering ever so slightly. “Yesterday I felt this strange pull, a feeling like I was supposed to be here. Then later, I helped you with the pain. I know it sounds strange, but this connection between us, it does not only seem to be about feeling each other's pain.” 

Severus nodded. There was no reason for him to deny it, not when she had already guessed all the facts. "No, it doesn't. Whatever this is… it seems to be much more than we can possibly understand. But maybe we will find out - with time."

This seemed to satisfy the girl, as she nodded with a serious expression on her face. “Do you think we should, Professor… try to find out about the connection I mean? Because I really would like to know more.”

Severus' lips twitched, as this was more than he could have hoped for. From the sound of it, Miss Granger no longer wanted to undo the connection between them, but instead explore it. It seemed like they were more or less on the same page now, except for some minor details he would keep  to himself. But what difference did it make that he had been aware of those facts for a few weeks now, or that he had secretly followed her? Miss Granger knew about the other aspects of the bond now, which was all that mattered, was it not?


	20. Of learning lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends. Here is the next chapter for you. I hope you like it. Let me know if you do. ;-)  
> Unfortunately, I cannot answer all your comments atm. Life is keeping me busy... But I appreciate each and every one of them.

"I'm going to take Miss Granger to Diagon Alley tomorrow," Severus stated  while calmly sipping the tea the old man had offered him in a way too small porcelain cup. 

“Are you indeed?” Albus Dumbledore replied, his blue eyes looking at him with an amused twinkle. 

Severus did not let the man's behaviour unsettle him  so he  simply  nodded coolly. "The girl needs new school supplies and after our extensive brewing sessions, I need to restock my supply of potion ingredients. It is only logical to combine both endeavours. Or have you already arranged a guard for Ms Granger?"

"I thought about possibly asking Hadrid to take her shopping for school supplies," Albus said  while  calmly sipping from his own cup. 

“Hagrid? Really?” Severus replied, unable to hide the sneer in his voice. "I know you have a soft spot for him. But even though his heritage makes him quite resistant to spells, there is only so much he could do to protect Ms Granger from a group of Death Eaters without being able to use a wand. I don't see Bellatrix engaging in a fistfight, do you?"

Albus’ lips twitched. “I guess you are right,” the old man admitted. “But you are possibly one of the most sought-after wizards of Britain right now. I surmised you would not want to leave the castle under these circumstances.

Severus huffed in annoyance. “I won’t let myself be locked up like Sirius Black, not after finally freeing myself from the Dark Lord. And it’s not like I am a reckless Gryffindor, Albus. Of course, I and Ms Granger will go in disguise.”

"Very well, my boy," Albus finally agreed with a nod. "I trust, you will protect the girl to the best of your abilities. Especially now that you finally started spending more time with her again. Or did you think I would not realize the two of you have been missing for breakfast?” 

“I don’t know what you are implying, Albus,” Severus said coldly. “I did not touch the girl if that is what you are thinking.”

He received a knowing smile as an answer. “Of course not my boy. I was merely referring to the fact that your arm seems to have regrown just fine last night, which might have led me to hope that the girl assisted you in some way. Or wasn't she alerted of your pain?"

"She was," Severus admitted coolly. "And surprisingly her mere presence indeed dulled the pain. Were you aware such a thing was possible, Albus?"

The man looked at him in evident surprise. "I was not. Your condition is not very well documented, as you are aware by now. But after what you just told me, I once more envy you for what you have found in Ms Granger."

Severus assumed he was referring to the increased healing abilities and considering the old man had recently regrown his wand arm too, Severus could very much understand.

ssssssss

Breakfast in the Great Hall was mostly a silent affair ever since her parents had left the castle. Now it was just the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, Hagrid, Madame Pomphrey and Mr Filch and even though one of them sometimes tried to make polite conversation with her, meals were usually done without much talking. But today she had barely sat down when the Headmaster suddenly addressed her with a kind smile: "I asked Professor Snape to take you to Diagon Alley today, Miss Granger."

Hermione looked at the man in surprise. "Thank you, Sir. But I haven't even received my list of school supplies, yet."

The Headmaster looked at her with a twinkle, before he handed her a sealed envelope with a knowing smile. "The owls will be sent out today, Miss Granger. But I do have your list here."

She took the envelope and opened it with a smile on her face. A trip to Diagon Alley was exactly what she needed! She'd finally be able to start reading her new schoolbooks and with Professor Snape taking her there, she had nothing to be afraid of, right? Because if there was someone she trusted with her life, it was him.

Sssssssss

"Merlin, those colours are really eye-cancer inducing," Severus growled  as he looked at the absurdity the Weasley twin called a shop. He wasn't sure how those two had managed it, but there was a big queue if one wanted to enter the shop, indicating some level of success for the Weasley's terrible two. 

“I find the look refreshing,” Miss Granger told him while brushing her now straight black hair behind her ear. 

Severus had decided it was best to transfigure them. Luckily he had a certain degree of talent for transfigurations so that they were now totally unrecognizable to the world. Miss Granger sprouted black straight hair and stunning blue eyes, while he had gone for brown, wavy hair and caramel brown eyes himself. One could think they had pretty much switched roles, which in his case might even be true, considering that he had thought of Miss Granger when transfiguring his face in front of the mirror. 

"Refreshing like taking a bite from a lemon, maybe," he grumbled, but it only caused the girl to chuckle.

Miss Granger strode into the store with bouncing steps, while he followed her with a bit of distance. He'd never been much into pranking and joke items and he had thought Miss Granger wasn't either. It was, of course, possible he had been wrong about her, but it was more likely that it was just her curiosity leading her here.

The Weasley-pests pranced around the store like they were on a stage, advertising and demonstrating their products like this was all some kind of game or a big joke. Still, one look at them told him that his spell was still in place, even though none of them seemed to be overly bothered by the new situation they found themselves in. He shook his head in irritation.

Miss Granger must have seen the change too, as she looked at them with furrowed brows, before hesitantly continuing to inspect the different products: Love potions, fireworks, daydream charms… Merlin, the next school year promised to be a hard one, considering the variety of banned products one could buy at that shop.

“How can I be of service to you, lovely?” he suddenly heard a voice in front of him, and when he focussed back at Miss Granger, he saw that one of the redheads had found her, leaning against one of the shelves with a winning smile. “Such a pretty bird like you surely isn’t in need of a love potion. But what about one of these daydream charms? Or maybe one of our Pygmy Puffs?”

Severus saw the girl go rigid and for a moment he considered intervening, pulling her away from that shameless redhead. But before he could even move a finger, he heard her chuckle. "Are you trying to make me buy something by flirting with me, Fred?" she asked, her voice sounding amused. "I'm afraid this is not going to work."

For a moment Fred Weasley gaped at her like a fish, before his brown eyes focussed more intensely on her, taking her features in with concentration. "How could you tell I was…" he mumbled before he furrowed his brows and whispered: "Hermione? Is that you?"

Merlin, he hoped the girl was not stupid enough to outrightly answer that question. 

"Where would be the fun if I told you that?" she replied a moment later, making him think what an unusual answer it was for her. "Anyway, I love what you did here. Some of those products are really extraordinary pieces of magic."

“Thank you, stranger,” Fred Weasley said, winking at her. 

Miss Granger did not seem impressed. “Did you two do product testing again? Or why are you walking around the shop with one tentacle, instead of an arm? And why does George have a lizard’s arm? Or is this some way to advertise your stuff?”

“Do you like our new look?” the boy asked with a grin. 

The girl shook her head, sending her long black hair flying. At that, the boy sighed. “Well, pity that,” he said with a lopsided grin. "Because as it looks, George and I are going to keep it for a while longer. Still looking for a cure, you know?”

“So you  _ did _ test your products on yourself again," Miss Granger grumbled, shaking her head in disapproval. "Why don't you go to St Mungo's? I'm sure they could help to undo this."

Mr Weasley shook his head. “No, this is us being pranked. Snape did this to us, after we made a bit of fun at the last Order meeting. I guess Georgie and I kind of deserved it, at least that’s what mum told us afterwards.”

“Professor Snape did this? He  _ hexed _ you?” 

The boy nodded with a lopsided grin. “Yeah. We’ve tried to undo it for a while now, but as it looks the man is pretty skilled in hexing people. So it might take us a while longer to come up with something. Mum and dad refuse to help, as does Bill.”

Miss Granger shook her head. “Have you tried  _ apologizing _ to him?”

Fred Weasley shook his head. "Nope. First, we wanted to try getting rid of this ourselves. Not that we had any success, mind you. But we learned a lot through it, that much is for sure."

“See? Even now, that you are out of Hogwarts, he can still give you detention,” the girl said, turning around to him with a smile. “I have to go now, Fred,” she said, walking towards him with an unreadable expression on her face. “But think about what I suggested. Go and apologize.”

Fred Weasley followed her with an amused look, Severus realized, while he led the girl out of the colourful story. She hadn’t bought anything, he realized, much to his satisfaction. 

Sssssssss

“Where do you want to go next?” Professor Snape asked her  lowly after they exited the bookstore an hour later. Once more the man had proved what a patient companion he was when it came to browsing bookshelves, sampling way more books than  was  strictly necessary. Sometimes she found him looking over her shoulder mumbling his opinion of the book, if she was lucky. Hermione found that she enjoyed his recommendations when he gave them.

Now, she had spent way too much money on books but there was one last stop on her list.

"I'd like to go to the pet store," she said, already walking into the right direction. "Then I'm ready to go."

“What do you want there? Cat treats?” he asked, making her shake her head with a smile. 

"No, Sir. Actually, I'm looking for an owl or maybe another  type of  messenger bird. Now that my parents are in Germany, I need a way to write to them and I don't want to  afflict such long distances on the school owls. There  should be other owl breeds more suitable for such long  journey s."

The Professor nodded in understanding. "In this case, the pet shop might not be the right place for you. But there is another store about 15 minutes from here. They're selling all kinds of messenger pets and artefacts."

Hermione looked at the man with a thankful smile. “Is this where you bought your raven, Sir?” 

"No," Professor Snape replied without looking at her. "But I'm still positive they will have what you are looking for. Do you want me to take you there?"

“Absolutely!”  she said enthusiastically.

Half an hour later Hermione had spent way too much money on a pair of two way mirrors the Professor had encouraged her to buy. They weren't as fancy as the one Harry had gotten from Sirius, as they were lacking any kinds of decorations on the frame . They were exactly what she needed . Hermione did not mind it in the least because she had been able to afford them even though she would have to be canny with her money for the rest of the year. But being able to actually talk to her parents and even show them things, was totally worth it.

“Was that everything you needed?” the Professor’s deep voice pulled her out of her thoughts and Hermione found herself nodding. 

“Yes, Sir.”

"Good. I'll have to make another stop on my own. Do you mind accompanying me to a shop in muggle London?" he asked, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. It was strange seeing him with that new face especially, as his expressions were still pretty much the same.

“To muggle London? What are you looking for, Sir?” she asked, unable to hide her curiosity.  She grimaced internally at her blatant questioning of her Professor. 'Mom was right, I need to stop being so intrusive.'

At that, Professor Snape smiled before saying: “A microscope, of course.”

  
  


Ssssssss

**_Time of exposure:_ ** _ 3 hours, 20 minutes, 35 seconds _

**_Physical contact:_ ** _ two times 5 seconds (side-along-apparation) _

**_Observations:_ **

_ Today, I  _ _ was finally able to purchase  _ _ a microscope. Going by Miss Granger's enthusiasm at the shop, the girl can not wait for us to modify the device, making it work at the castle _ _. The microscope project will be beneficial to me in many ways _ _. I do have several ideas for suitable spells, but I will talk them through with her first before ruining the thing. Still, I cannot wait to use the device as it will open a whole new perspective on several potion ingredients and their potential uses. _

_ The girl has been most adamant about questioning the shopkeeper about several messenger birds. Of course, she had to inquire about ravens and it took all my stealth to confound the shopkeeper and redirect her to the artefacts instead. Luckily, she forgot the idea of a messenger raven soon after, sparing me the awkward questions that would have followed, once she realized, that ravens are usually not used for such purposes as delivering letters. Those animals are way too stubborn to do a wizard's bidding. I should have never used my animagus form to meet her in the first place. I'll refrain from using it in her presence in the future and hopefully, with time, she forgets about it altogether. _

  
  
  
  



	21. Side-project

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends. Here is the next chapter for you. Thank you for all your comments and kudos! They really made my week better and gave me enough energy to sit down and continue writing this story. You're the best!

"I take it your trip to London was a success?" Albus asked while studying his stubborn Professor's expression. The man and Ms Granger had returned rather late from their trip yesterday, but considering that the girl had been in a cheerful mood over dinner he surmised, that Severus had behaved and not driven her away, again. Merlin. Making Severus Snape see reason and accept his feelings was more difficult than taming a Hungarian Horntail, or cheering up the Grey Lady. But Albus would not give up, even if it took him months to make his stubborn friend admit his feelings for the girl. Because Albus could feel them simmering deep inside him, burrowed by the man's iron will and determination to feel nothing for the girl, that was, in fact, his soulmate. It was ridiculous, of course, as the girl was biologically speaking already of age, thanks to her extensive use of the time-turner. But maybe it wasn't just the girl's age but also Severus clinging to his childhood friend Lily Evans, that made him reluctant to let himself feel again and that Albus could understand. He had loved once, too, and the pain of his broken heart was memorable enough for him to never love again. But he would have if he had been presented with a kindred spirit like Severus had, as there could be nothing more fulfilling and healing than the unconditional love of one's soulmate and the powers that came with it.

"We got everything we were looking for," Severus replied vaguely to his question and Albus could tell that he tried sounding as neutral as possible. Still, there were some telltale signs of the man's improved mental state, signs like his hair, that was frequently washed now, or the fact, that Severus actually drunk his tea instead of scowling at his cup until it was time for him to leave his office again. He had also noticed the man was eating more during mealtimes and it was hopefully only a matter of time, until the man started gaining a bit of weight. It certainly wouldn't hurt, once the stubborn idiot decided finally romancing the Granger-girl.

“Good,” Albus commented, a small smile on his face. “I take it there haven’t been any problems as you two went in disguise and were surely careful about revealing your identities.”

Again, the man nodded, grunting as a reply.

“Good,” Albus said, focussing his staff member with an intensive gaze. “Now, there is something else I’d like to talk to you about. You might remember the little side-project I mentioned a few weeks ago. Yesterday, I could convince Horace to join us for the next school year and to overtake most of your duties. This will hopefully free enough of your time to help me with the task I have for you.”

Convincing Horace to return to Hogwarts had not been easy. Even with young Harry in tow, the former Slytherin had been very hesitant, for good reasons. Horace Slughorn had always strongly opposed Tom Riddle, ever since the boy had taken a turn to the Dark Side and proclaimed himself a Dark Lord. Horace could not have been more disappointed and disapproving of his formerly favourite student. But his strong refusal to support Lord Voldemort brought many enemies for his former Professor, making him constantly run and hide as he feared for his security. Because first and foremost Horace Slughorn was a Slytherin and self-preservation was one of his most pronounced character traits. Luckily, Dumbledore had another ace upon his sleeve, as the prospect of witnessing Kindred Magic unfold for once in his life, had been too tempting to resist for the former Potions Professor. He hadn't even needed to tell the man who the affected persons were, as the man was only too excited to find out himself and invite them into his Slug Club as soon as possible, together with the boy who lived. He said it would be a nice little side-project for him apart from brewing, something to pass his time and Albus, who had a fondness for gossip and teenage drama could totally understand. 

Albus could tell that Severus was wary about what came next and he could not blame him. What he wanted him to do wasn’t only difficult, but probably as dangerous as the work, Severus had done for the order. Still, there was no better man to help him with this. 

“Help you with what?” he heard the man ask wearily. 

Albus smiled. “To kill Tom, of course. Unfortunately doing so will require us destroying several Horcruxes at first. I assume I don’t have to explain that particular piece of Dark Magic to you.”

Severus looked at him with a watchful gaze. “Horcruxes you say? Are you sure?”

“Unfortunately so. Two of them have already been disposed of, but I do have the unfortunate feeling that there are more…” Albus said with a tired sigh. 

“How many?” his young friend shot back, his eyes dark from the attempt to hide his emotions from him. It would have worked, if Albus hadn’t known the boy for years, seeing him at his lowest and learning how to detect the signs of Occlumency. 

“That will be your first task to find out. I believe Horace to be in the possession of a certain memory, one that he is too ashamed of sharing with us. I asked him for it once, but all I got was a tampered version of it. I hope you’ll have more luck in finding out that particular piece of information from Horace,” Albus said, a hopeful smile in place. 

Severus was a master Legilimens and a Slytherin at that. If there was someone as determined as him to see Tom gone, then it was Severus Snape. 

“And how do you expect me to do that, Albus?” Severus Snape asked him, his eyebrow raised challengingly at him.

Albus smiled. “That is entirely up to you, my boy.”

Ssssssss

Severus poured himself a firewhiskey, before tiredly sinking back on his sofa. It had been a long day for him. Not only were the meetings with Albus always taking a toll on him, but he had also travelled to Germany, delivering one of Miss Granger's two-way-mirrors to her parents. The Granger's had been most delighted to see him and had invited him to stay for lunch, even before they had known about the new means of communication with their daughter. And somehow eating with the two dentists had been agreeable, as both Granger's were intelligent and well-read, making excellent conversation partners. They treated him most friendly, which was strange considering they only met each other a few weeks ago. But Severus did not let it phase him and instead patiently chatted with them, until he could bid his farewell, without insulting them by going too soon.

Now he was happy to finally sit down and enjoy the peace and quiet of his quarters, getting the chance to digest the information Albus had given him. If Voldemort had indeed created an unknown number of Horcruxes, killing him would be almost impossible. Still, they had to try if they hoped to finally have peace and equality in the wizarding world. No matter how much he had supported the man’s ideals in the past, through the Grangers Severus had learned, that there were indeed decent Muggled out there, people that were nothing like his father. And even though he had always known theoretically, that there had to be decent muggles out there, he now finally had proof. He could not let Voldemort rule Britain, suppressing muggles and muggle-born alike. But to prevent that, one would have to kill the Dark Lord, once killing him was even possible.

With a deep sigh, Severus took a sip from his glass, before swirling the amber coloured liquid while contemplating his options. Regaining that memory from old Slughorn would be … difficult. It was years since he last saw the man and even though Severus had once been a member of the man’s Slug Club, he could not imagine still being overly popular with him. He was neither rich nor famous and to make things worse he had also joined the Death Eaters in his youth. Slughorn would not appreciate this and therefore he would probably keep his distance from him. But for handing over that memory to him, Severus would need the man to trust him. Or wouldn’t he?

A knock at his office door pulled him out of his thoughts. Who had the audacity to disturb him at such an hour? It wasn't like there were too many people at the castle, to begin with, so Miss Granger was possibly the most likely visitor. But what did she want?

Severus hastily put his glass of firewhiskey aside and hurried into his office. Only that it had not been Miss Granger, knocking at his office door, but Fred and George Weasley, standing in front of his office door with an apologetic smile on their face. He stared at them with a dark expression.

“What do you want?” he asked, not in the mood to deal with the annoying pranksters right now. 

“We’d like to apologize to you, Sir,” one of them said, a friendly smile plastered on his face. 

“...and to ask you if you could possibly undo the curse on our arms. It was fun at the beginning, but slowly it starts getting annoying,” the other one said, a crooked smile on his lips. Severus looked at them with a sneer. 

“Is that so?” he replied, his voice giving none of his emotions away. 

The tentacled twin nodded. “I swear we’ve learned our lesson. No Limb Limbos and no more making fun of you, Sir,” he swore, making the matching gesture with his hand. Severus looked at him with a measuring gaze. He’d love to let them stew a bit longer, but the both of them would probably go whining to one of their siblings and then Miss Granger would know. And he could not afford to drive the girl away from him again, not after it had taken all his finesse and patience to win her back. 

“Let me be clear with you Messer's Weasley. If you ever go against my wishes again, I will ensure that you can hear your parents shagging whenever it happens. No matter if it’s day, or night, you’ll have those images in your head and _ nothing _ will make them go away,” he growled and saw their eyes go wide. But he wasn’t finished. “Nothing will help, not even Dreamless Sleep. And next time I won’t that easily lift the curse. Therefore, I recommend thinking before doing anything stupid in my presence again."

The red-headed idiots nodded  vehemently , the horror  and nausea evident on their faces. “Don’t worry Sir, we learnt our lesson,” they swore in unison, their faces serious for once. Good. They would not cross him again, Severus thought, pulling out his wand and silently undoing the curse on their arms. He almost hoped they would be stupid enough to mess with him again, because trying out that particular curse, which he had designed as a desperate teenager with Sirius Black in mind, would surely be a most interesting experience. 

Ssssssss

Hermione had thought that her days of privately working with Professor Snape were over and here she was, back in his private lab, a microscope resting in front of her on the table. The man had outdone himself and bought an expensive one, with many and high amplifications and he had not hesitated to add a generous amount of equipment. Now they only had to get the thing to work. 

“We’ll need to find a way to add a magical light source into the microscope,” Hermione mumbled, staring at the device in concentration. “I don’t think casting bluebell flames would work. We need a light that can be dimmed and that gives a constant amount of light.”

The Professor nodded with furrowed brows. “Maybe if we find a way to infuse the light bulb with magical energy? But I guess the Muggle technology would not be able to transfer and use it.” He rubbed his chin. “But as far as I know there are some magical crystals that show the ability to emanate light. If one could infuse those with magical energy… and then charm them accordingly…”

“That could work!” Hermione exclaimed excitedly. “What a brilliant idea!”

The Professor looked at her with a small smile. "Why, thank you, Miss Granger. It could be a problem procuring such a crystal, as they seem to be quite rare. We should also try to get one that is still in its original state. We best avoid using one, that has already been tampered with.”

Hermione nodded with a hum. “Right. But there are surely places where those crystals are still growing, right? Could those places be noted in a book? If so, I could go through the library if that would help.”

“I will join you,” her Professor replied calmly. “This way we’ll be faster and there are some dangerous books in there, that I don’t want you to touch, even though you’re allowed to do so by now. And as Madame Pince is not at the castle right now...” 

"Of course, Sir," Hermione replied in a serious tone. "We could start right now, if you like." But then she got aware that this was not for her to decide and she hastily added: "Or any other day. You're deciding whatever is best for you, Sir."

At that she found Professor Snape smiling at her. “Today fits my plans rather nicely, I think. We could head there right away, if you like.”

Hermione nodded with an excited smile. “I’d love to.”

Ssssssss

Severus looked at the sleeping girl with a smile. It was the second time she had fallen asleep in his presence within days, he thought with a headshake. But somehow he also found that he did not mind. 

They had stayed at the library until it was rather late, Miss Granger totally engrossed in their research, tirelessly skimming book after book. He had known she was a bookworm, much like himself, and therefore he wasn’t surprised how enjoyable he found her silent presence while researching their shared project. It was almost like combing through the library with Lily as a teenager. Before their fallout, this was where they met most frequently, doing homework together or simply studying. He had loved those hours full of creativity and concentration, enjoyed having someone to share his passion for books. Only that Lily had one day no longer been there, the place at his side empty for many years.

Now, there was suddenly her. Hermione Granger had somehow started to fill the emptiness that Lily had left in his heart, not romantically of course, but as a silent companion and an intellectual equal. Over the course of the last weeks, he had seen her maturing and by now he realized that she truly started to become a woman, instead of a girl. 

He should probably wake her, he thought but on the other hand, this was his chance to enjoy her presence a little bit longer, satisfying the strange urge to be in her presence that he felt ever since the link between them had been established. And who knew? Maybe he would find something in the next book, if he stayed a little while longer? 

With a smile he got up from his seat and unbuttoned his robe, carefully covering the sleeping girl with it a moment later. As the library currently wasn't officially open, it was not heated and could get terribly cold during the nights, even in summer. But his robe would keep the girl warm and comfortable, while he went through some more books on magical minerals and geography. He had the feeling they were close to finding the answer, the answer that would bring them one step further to finishing the first magical microscope, a discovery that could potentially reform pioneering. And they would have discovered it  _ together _ , he and Miss Granger. If that wouldn’t bring them closer together he didn’t know what else would. 

Ssssssss

When Hermione awoke two hours later in an armchair, she was disoriented and confused. The room was dark, apart from a little bluebell flame that was glowing in a glass to her right side. Its light was illuminating several bookshelves, painting them in a ghostly, bluish light. And suddenly she remembered that she was in the library, where she had fallen asleep over a book. Professor Snape was probably long gone, the only thing remaining from him was his black robe. He must have thrown it over her sleeping body, in the attempt to warm her and indeed it had. Professor Snape's heavy woollen robe was comfortably warm and big enough to cover her from head to toe. It smelled of him, she realized, a spicy, herbal scent that comforted and at the same time infatuated her. Before she knew it, she found herself burying her nose in the rough material, inhaling deeply before sighing with satisfaction. One deep breath was enough for her, to feel herself relax, a deep boneless satisfaction coming over her, that made her want to roll together, burying herself under those robes and fall back asleep again. It didn't matter that she was still at the library, as she did not want to leave behind the Professor's robes anytime soon. But of course, this wasn't an option. He would want them back, rather sooner than later and burying herself in his robes any longer would not help her to ban those thoughts from her head - thoughts that kept returning whenever she did not pay attention - like now. 

With a sigh she pulled herself up from the armchair, carefully putting his robes aside, positioning them over the armrest. Should she just leave them here? Or ask a house-elf to take them to him? Or should she do so herself? Before she could make up her mind, her eyes fell on a little book on the floor, right next to her armchair. Had Professor Snape forgotten to put one of his books back? Or had he found something and left this book for her to read? It didn’t look like a library book though, more like a classic Muggle-notebook with a black cover. Hermione frowned. Did this belong to Professor Snape? It was possible. It was probably best if she checked, because if this was his, she could return it to him together with his robes. 

Making a quick decision, Hermione picked the book up from the floor and with a small smile she opened the first page. She immediately recognized his spidery handwriting as her eyes ghosted over the word and she read:

**A scientific study on Kindred Magic**

**By Severus Tobias Snape**

Test subject: Hermione Jean Granger

  
  



	22. The hole in my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I was totally overwhelmed by your response to the last chapter. Sorry for the cliffy, btw. I worked very hard to finish this next chapter as soon as possible, for you. I hope you like what I did with it.

The Order meeting was dragging on for ages, Severus thought, listening to Albus’ lengthy explanations with growing boredom. When the Headmaster had called him earlier via Patronus, things had sounded rather important. But now all necessary aspects of Albus’ plan to protect Potter on his little shopping trip tomorrow were discussed and Severus just wanted to go home, back into the library with his new, favourite research partner. If she was still asleep, covered by his robe? Or had she woken up by now, returned to her own rooms? He’d definitely check on her after he returned, as she could not remain sleeping in an armchair for the whole night. He knew from experience how uncomfortable this could get. But Albus just  _ would not finish _ because the fucking Weasleys kept bringing up suggestions and further problems, that could possibly occur. For fucks sake, why could they not transfigure the boy and themselves and split up, like any other sensible wizard would have done?

Severus found his mind was slowly starting to drift, this ongoing conversation unable to capture his interest any longer. Instead, he started going through the information he had read tonight, information that hinted towards a hidden cave somewhere in North Scotland, where they would probably find what they were looking for. With a bit of luck, they would be able to find further hints and maybe they could even procure some crystals before the term started. Not that he did not find the evenings in the library quite enjoyable, but Severus honestly could not wait to look at the first probes of flixweed. He had always had the theory that depending on the area he picked the flixweed from, its properties differed, making it more or less effective for the potion.

Severus sighed with a small smile. He would also have to formulate an entry for his research diary. Not that something special had happened tonight but he had made it a routine to note every encounter he had with the girl, even though most of them were of no scientific value whatsoever. But if he was honest with himself, the little notebook had turned out to be more of a personal diary weeks ago and now that he thought about it he found, that he did not mind. Reading older diary entries helped him remember and more often than not they brought a smile on his lips. What should he write about today?

Severus was just about to plan the next diary entry in his head when a thought hit him with the impact of a bludger. His diary was in his  _ robes _ , the same robes he had used to cover the girl with. He always used to carry it around, as he did not want it lying around for somebody to stumble upon his thoughts. In his robes it was safe, he thought, his stomach dropping with horror. It  _ would have been safe _ if he would have thought for a moment before giving in to the sentimentality that made him want to see Miss Granger covered in his robes for once. Salazar, he was a fucking moron!

"I need to go, Albus," he found himself suddenly exclaiming, his chair scratching loudly over the kitchen floor of Black's childhood home. "I do have some urgent business I need to attend to, business that can not wait I'm afraid."

For a moment Albus' eyes met him and he could see the curiosity that reflected within them. It took all of Severus’ willpower to not openly growl at the old, nosy fool. 

“Of course, my boy,” his answer came a moment later and Severus saw it as permission to bolt from the room into the cold streets of London. One apparition later he was back on the Hogwarts grounds. His feet barely touched the grass as he started to hurry back towards the library, his head once more mulling over the words he had written down in this fucking notebook. With the prospect of Miss Granger reading them, they did not make him smile at all. She would find out that he had stalked her for weeks and known about their connection way longer than he let her believe. Severus groaned. When had this evening turned out to be a fucking nightmare?

  
  
  


Sssssssss

She was an idiot, Hermione thought, skimming over Professor Snape’s notes - notes about her, about their interactions of the last weeks. It was bad, his cold analytical words on each of their encounters stabbing her heart like an invisible dagger. She remembered most of them, some of them being fond memories she had made in the last weeks. But now the Professor’s words suddenly twisted them into something… tainted. 

_ The subject could be easily swayed to indulge in intellectual discussion, which made being exposed to her presence much more bearable. _

Hermione’s heart clenched at the title of 'subject'. The man didn’t even feel the need to call her by her own name. Was that what he saw in her? Not a girl or a woman, just a subject?  'But you are a girl, remember? Just a silly little know it all.'

So that was what he thought of their meetings, they were _bearable_ for him after she had finally learned to shut her over-enthusiastic mouth. She scoffed. Now she could almost see him sitting at her sickbed, counting each damn second until he finally could leave her side again, once the strange bond of theirs had calmed down once more. How could she not have realized that Professor Snape would have never sat with her like this out of his own free will? She had known him for _years_ , after all. Of course, he was just there because of some sort of outside force, be it an unexplainable bond or Professor Dumbledore making him do so. She was just an annoying Gryffindor-Know-It-all, after all. 'Unwanted even by the one magic bound me to,' she thought with a growing heaviness in her heart. 

_ Even though I feel highly uncomfortable exploring that particular path of my studies, any further as it will require touching the girl in the future, the subject’s need for medical care leaves me with no other choice than to tend to her injuries. Still, mutual healing may be useful in the future, should I need healing once returning from a meeting. It is definitely worth it to find out if the dual healing could go both ways.  _

Hermione closed her eyes in mortification after reading this one next entry. He had hated touching her, tending to her wound, but he had done it to help her healing and to explore their possible self-healing abilities, abilities that he had suspected to exist for weeks! Why hadn't he told her? And what would have happened if he had braced to touch her curse wound longer, to really try to heal it through his touch? Would it be gone by now, without the ugly scar that was still left at her side? Or would it have healed much faster, sparing her the throbbing pain she had felt for many days afterwards? She did not know, of course, but the possibility alone that he might have taken this chance of a better recovery taken away from her, made her stomach clench in anger. Did he care about her this little?  _ 'Does it matter? He doesn't want to touch you, let alone see you naked.' _

With a shake of her head, she turned the page and started to read the next entry, seeming unable to stop reading his poisonous words that slowly kept burning a hole into her heart. What else had he been hiding from her?

_ It was easy enough to pick her father's brain for the information I needed. Most of it he readily told me himself and I only had to retreat to Legilimency to find out the last bits of the puzzle. I carefully wiped his memory of it afterwards, leaving him totally clueless of what had happened.  _

_ No,  _ Hermione thought in disbelief _. _ He hadn’t done that… but he had. Severus Snape, whom she had  _ trusted _ , had invaded her father's mind and wiped his memories of the incident afterwards. What if something had gone wrong? What if her father had suddenly forgotten her or his wife? The Professor could have unintentionally destroyed her family, but slowly Hermione started to doubt if he even had cared. Probably not.

_ How could I forget that the girl would be able to feel the pain I was experiencing when cutting off my arm? It was a foolish mistake that has forced me to admit certain aspects of that strange condition to her. _

One page and a diary entry later, and Hermione could no longer hold back the tears. That was all he had felt when he realized that his actions had caused her pain: the discomfort of trusting her with certain information? She clearly remembered the day when it happened, the agony and terror she had felt when her arms suddenly lit up in pain. Back then she had not known what happened to her, but she remembered her screams for her parents or for  _ anyone _ actually to help her. She also remembered how thankful she had been after waking up, thankful and understanding towards Professor Snape. He had seemed to regret his actions back then and he had, only for the whole different reasons as she now realized. If she had only known... 

Hermione kept flipping through the diary, her eyes skimming through the pages. But she could no longer read the entries in total, could not stomach the full amount of his hurtful words. Therefore she just skimmed over the next entries, only reading some selected words or sentences.

_ … luckily she can mostly keep her mouth shut...  _

'Why would he want to hear your opinion?'

_...I get the impression that she is trying very hard to gain my approval. It is probably due to her reliance on praise, as I have found her to be an attention seeker long ago… _

'You sound like a dog.'

_...Not, that I would overly miss her presence, but it seems to be necessary due to the bond that we are sharing… _

'Never wanted.'

_...I am sure I will find a way to manipulate her accordingly… _

'How Slytherin.'

_...I am not worried about the pain, as I have suffered through much worse… _

'The heartless bastard can still feel?'

_...Of course, she had to inquire about ravens and it took all my stealth to confound the shopkeeper and redirect her to the artefacts, instead… _

‘He could not even trust me with the fact, that he’s an animagus. But why would he if he didn’t even see the necessity to fill me in about things, that also effected me?’

She could not take any more of this. It was obvious that all Professor Snape cared about was to explore and use the bond that seemed to have formed between them - a bond she wished did not exist. By everything she had learned, it seemingly forced them to see each other from time to time or experience physical unwellness like she had, right after being cursed at the ministry. Now she realized that the reason for it had been Professor Snape trying to stay away from her - without success.

It wasn’t long until the first angry tear escaped her eyes. Before she could wipe it away, it fell down on the notebook, smudging the ink on one of the pages. Hermione hastily  spelt the damage away, before closing the book and putting  it on top of the robe, unwilling to touch one of the items again. Luckily, the Hogwarts house-elves were only waiting for her to give them something to do. 

“Blinky?” she asked into the empty library, her voice shaky as she could barely hold herself together any longer. Only a moment later a young, female house-elf appeared right in front of her.

“Miss Hermione has a task for Blinky?” the little servant asked, bouncing on her feet eagerly. Especially now in the holidays, the house-elves were desperately looking for something to do. 

“Yes, Blinky. Could you please take those items back to Professor Snape’s quarters? He happens to have forgotten them here,” she said sniffing, her voice only quivering at the mention of the man’s name. Only a bit longer, than she would be back in her quarters, where nobody would see or hear her tears.

“Blinky will do as Miss Hermione said,” the female squeaked, disappearing with the robe and the book a moment later, without commenting on Hermione’s emotional state. Hermione was thankful for it. 

The first sob escaped her, as soon as she left the library but as it was already night, the corridors were thankfully empty. No one saw the tears streaming down her face or heard her sobs, as she walked back towards her room - no one, except a portrait, that followed her silently on the way. Hermione did not even notice it, nor would she have cared. She barely made it back to her rooms before she broke down on her bed with heavy sobs. Her mum had been right, she needed to get the man out of her head and soon. But considering what she had just learned, Hermione was only too happy to ban Professor Snape from her broken heart. 

Ssssssss

When Severus rushed into the library he found it dark and empty. There was neither a sight of Miss Granger nor were his robe or his research journal anywhere to be seen. The girl had probably gone back to her room and it would be more than inappropriate for him to disturb her at such a late hour, especially when there was no saying if she had even found or read the damned book. He could only hope she had not.

With quick steps he hurried back into his chambers, his mind spinning with what-ifs. There, he was just about to throw himself on the sofa, when he found his robes neatly folded on the coffee table and in front of it, his diary, no longer hidden in the inner pockets, but piled on top of the heavy fabric. For a moment he stared at the items in disbelief, then his heart started to beat faster. But no, this didn’t mean anything. She had most likely just asked a house-elf to take those items back to him. Maybe the nosy creature had just taken the book out, to arrange everything neatly on the table. Yeah, that must be it, Severus thought, skimming through the pages of his journal with the precision of an Auror. There was nothing, no sign of her, no torn out pages, added comments or tear streaks. The only thing reminding him of her was the scent still clinging to his robes. Following an impulse he sunk down on the sofa and pulled the heavy material over himself, his long nose buried in the black fabric. Tomorrow, he would know more, he told himself, taking a deep, calming breath. Until then he’d just rest here and pretend the girl was snuggling against his chest - totally platonical of course. 

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposure:_ ** _ none _

**_Physical contact:_ ** _ none _

**_Observations:_ **

_ Miss Granger was not to be found at breakfast, neither was she there at lunch or dinner. This is very unusual for her, as she has not missed a single meal since she is back at the castle. When asking the Headmaster about the girl’s absence, the old man just shrugged nonchalantly and said that Miss Granger had formulated the wish to eat in her room today, as she was busily preparing for the new school year. It isn’t that out of character for her, but I can feel a slight twitch of our bond at the thought. Today, I will probably be fine without seeing her, considering the intensive contact we had the day before. Tomorrow, the girl will hopefully join us for meals again. If not, I can still send her an invitation to join me in the library again, because even if she feels like working ahead, she can as well do so there.  _

Severus closed his journal with a snap before carefully warding it against everybody that wasn’t him. He should have done so from the very beginning, he thought, before slipping it back into his robes. Such sensitive data wasn’t supposed to be read by anyone but himself, least of all the girl this was all about. If there was a chance of her not already having read this, he had to use it and make sure such a thing never happened. He valued their friendship, after all, which meant he had to be more careful. He would not risk messing things up with Miss Granger, like he had done with Lily so many years ago. He would not hurt her, even if that meant keeping a secret from her. 


	23. Burning bridges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, guys, Finishing this chapter has taken me a bit longer than you’re used to. Life is very busy, right now and this story is getting a bit complicated, as you can imagine. I do want to do those characters justice and I hope I am succeeding in doing so. 

It took Hermione one night of crying her eyes out to come up with the idea to use the Room of Requirements for her research. It was one thing for Professor Snape to despise her, to  _ use _ her, but withholding knowledge about a condition that affected  _ both _ of them was more than she was willing to take from him , let alone forgive . Hermione needed to know about the Link that connected them against their will because never again would she make a fool out of herself by stumbling blindly to his quarters, not even being aware of what brought her there  in the first place . No, if she would have to see him, she wanted to know exactly how often and to what extent, because she would keep their contact at a bare minimum if she really could not avoid it. But there had to be alternatives, right? They could not be the first persons affected by Kindred Magic and somewhere those other cases must have been documented. Unfortunately, Professor Snape had taken all the books from the library, but luckily Hermione knew of another place where she would find answers.

It wasn’t long ago that they had used the Room of Requirements for their DA meetings and by now Hermione knew the best ways to reach it by heart. Therefore going there without meeting Professor Snape was child’s play, especially since he had no reason to expect her anywhere near the seventh floor. Her requirement for the room was clear. “I need a place where I can find everything about Kindred Magic,” she chanted, walking up and down the floor and the room did not disappoint. Hermione was greeted by a cosy little reading room with a soft, red armchair in the middle and a little shelf with about twenty books. It wasn’t much, but way more than she could have hoped to find on her own. 

"Thank you," she whispered into the room, even though she was not sure if it would be heard before sitting down, a little smile on her face. She'd probably spend the days until the new school year started here, reading everything the room provided. She was pretty sure the house-elves would gladly provide her with enough food to avoid meals in the Great Hall altogether. It probably wouldn't be possible, due to her unfortunate connection to Professor Snape, but she would very well try.

Ssssssss

**_Time of exposure:_ ** _ none _

**_Physical contact_ ** _ : none _

**_Observations:_ ** __

_ It is the second day of not having seen Miss Granger and I feel myself getting antsier with every second that passes without me seeing the girl. Earlier, I went to her room in the hope to speak to her, because I do have the unmistakable feeling that something is wrong. A plausible explanation is her having read the book so that she is now attempting to avoid me. I do hope I am wrong, but one can only appoint so much of her behaviour to her preparing for school or her missing her parents, which was Dumbledore's excuse for her absence today. I find myself suspecting that the Headmaster knows more about Miss Granger's whereabouts than he is willing to share with me, which is more than a little annoying. But rushing in and demanding answers is rarely the right way to seek knowledge and therefore I am willing myself to stay patient, even though my feet keep carrying me aimlessly through the castle, pacing corridors up and down, before I catch myself and force myself to go back to my chambers. More than once I even ended up on the seventh floor today and Merlin knows that I usually do not even frequent this part of the castle. But it does not matter. _

_ I am sure tomorrow Miss Granger will come down for meals, she has to, or I’ll need another way to seek her out. I am unsure of how to approach her, though, as I am still uncertain how much she knows. Therefore I am better off treading very carefully around her.  _

Ssssssss

On the third day, Hermione found that she could no longer stay away and had to attend at least one meal - maybe even more of them - to satisfy the bond between her and the Professor. She could only guess that he, too, felt the effects of her self-isolation by now but she could not be bothered to care. At least he would be aware what happened to him, much different than herself when it happened to her after her injury. Therefore, she could not feel sorry for him and instead felt some sort of grim satisfaction for being able to pay him back, at least a little. It would only be a few more days until the new term started and when it did, Hermione had to be ready and composed enough, to face Professor Snape on a regular basis, during mealtimes as well as during the lessons. She could only hope that this contact would be enough to satisfy the bond because she really did not want to see him in private, not after she learned that he could barely stand her presence and only did so to satisfy their Kindred Magic.

When Hermione arrived in the Great Hall for breakfast, all  of the staff members were already seated and she resumed her position at the small table with a murmured greeting and a nod towards the Headmaster. The old man looked back at her with a kind smile and a twinkle in his blue eyes. Professor Dumbledore probably knew that something was up, as he seemed to be aware of their magic connecting them, but he hadn’t said anything to her and Hermione was thankful for it. 

She ate her breakfast as slowly as possible and even though Professor sat across from her at the table, his presence there seemed to be enough to make her feel better, at least physically. She could feel his eyes on her from time to time but she decidedly did not look up or converse, as she simply lacked the energy for polite small talk right now.

When she had finally emptied her plate and felt well enough to retreat again, she got up with a nod towards the headmaster and slowly walked out of the room. She barely made it into the seventh floor, as Professor Snape's voice alerted her from behind.

“Miss Granger,” he called her and she could hear his steps rapidly approach from behind. “A word, if you please.”

Hermione felt herself stiffen, her feet pausing to take another step. She could do this, she told herself and took a deep calming breath. She could face him without embarrassing herself.

“Sir?” she asked, slowly turning around and looking at him with her brows raised questioningly. 

It was only seconds later that he had caught up with her, his long legs enabling him to walk much faster than her, without even getting out of breath. “You haven’t been at meals lately,” he said, his dark eyes fixing her intensely. 

She willed herself to stay as calm as possible. “I have not.” 

That was all he got from her, but he did not seem satisfied in the least. “I was told you were busy with preparing for the new term,” he said evenly. 

“I was,” she lied. “And still am.”

He stared at her contemplatively. "I was hoping to continue looking for light crystals before I'll be busy with teaching again. Do you think you could join me for that?"

Hermione did not even blink. “No. You’ll have to continue on your own, Professor,” she said, without much emotion. “As I said, I am preparing for the new term.”

He stepped closer, his eyes never leaving her face as she did. “And you have been lying,” he said, his voice almost a growl.

She forced herself to not back away from him but hastily remembered to hide her thoughts in case he would try to use Legilimency on her. The books also suggested that it would help to keep her emotions in check. He would not intimidate her or agitate her in whatever way. "So have you," Hermione replied, her voice deadly calm. "Good day, Professor Snape."

She tore her eyes away from him and without another word she turned around and started to walk away from him. She half expected for him to hold her back, to demand answers or chastise her for her lack of respect, but luckily he did not. There was no response for him at all, Hermione found, hastily walking around the next corner. Professor Snape did not follow her and she felt nothing but relief at that - she thought.

Ssssssss

She knew, Severus thought with an internal curse. Miss Granger knew and probably avoided him as a consequence of reading his fucking journal, a journal he couldn’t even call  _ scientific _ any longer. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Albus had warned him that his secrecy would endanger what little progress they had made, and of course, the old man had been right. 

The feeling of experiencing Deja vú hit him with a force that made him stumble. He had fucked up,  _ again _ , but this time things seemed even more hopeless than they had been with Lily. He and Lily had been friends, they had years of history behind them and it still had not helped him one iota to mend bridges with her. And what he had done to Miss Granger - what he had called her - was indefinitely worse. What was he supposed to do now? Memories of him begging for Lily’s forgiveness in front of the Gryffindor common room came rushing back to him. He had wanted her forgiveness so badly and still had not gotten it. No, he had humiliated himself and made himself a laughing stock once, but he would not do so again. He was an adult now, a Professor nonetheless and he could not afford to lose face in front of his students. 

Still, he would have to do something to make her understand and forgive him because now that the whole mess had come to bite him in the arse, he realized, what an idiot he had been. Weeks ago he had realized that he wanted the girl at his side, in whichever way possible. Yes, he could not romance her, _ yet _ , but he still wanted her close and not only because of the bond that connected them. He had started to genuinely like her, to appreciate her intelligence, bravery and kindness. He still wanted her, as a research partner, friend or lover, someday, and he would take whatever she was willing to give. Right now that unfortunately would not be much. But with time, Miss Granger would hopefully realize that they would have to see each other from time to time and as soon as the chance arose, he would talk to her and explain.

Luckily the girl had a forgiving nature, as several fallouts with Potter and Weasley had shown. Those two idiots had treated her like shit more than once, but the girl had always forgiven them. This let him hope that she would forgive him, too, maybe not right away but with time. Yes, he was a proud man, but for her, he would not be too proud to apologize, after having planned his argumentation  _ very carefully _ .

  
  


Ssssssss

The field of Kindred Magic was fascinating, Hermione found while putting the third book on the topic aside. It was some sort of diary written by a young witch named Viola, that must have been about her age when she found out about being connected to a man, Damian, who was two years her senior. There were interesting parallels with her own story, Hermione found, for example, that Viola had been hurt right before their connection was discovered. They, too, had felt the pull towards each other but Damian had left Hogwarts soon after, while Viola was forced to stay.

Somehow those two had survived being parted from one another, Viola stating that she had gotten used to his absence, the pain coming with it lessening day by day.

For Hermione, this information was a good start.

Two books later she discovered, that the relationship of the linked partners seemed to have a strong effect on the bond, too. There seemed to be many influencing factors for its strongness but a certain amount of trust and sympathy seemed to be needed for an establishment and preservation of the bond. Yes, a “kindred spirit”, how it was known and found among muggles, was key, but the more Hermione read, the more she realized that being alike was only one part of the puzzle. There were ways to undo the bond and her having lost her trust in him was probably the explanation of why she had been more or less fine for two days without even seeing him. From what she had read in the Professor’s notes, he hadn’t managed to stay away from her nearly as long. This indicated some sort of progress in undoing the bond, did it not?

Hermione sighed. That information wasn't a solution in the long term, but they were at least a start to make the next days and weeks more bearable. She would only have to see the Professor from time to time, mealtimes would probably be enough and there, Professor Snape barely said a word. Therefore it would be easy enough to ignore him. It wasn't long until the new term started and as soon as Harry and Ron would be back at the castle, things would hopefully be more… normal again.

Ssssssss

  
  


_ It was on her way back from the Room of Requirements, that Hermione was suddenly gripped from behind and yanked into a near alcove. She did not even have a chance to resist, her attacker’s grip too tight to have a chance to move away, so all she could do was scream. But as the school was still closed, there was no chance that anybody would hear - not at this deserted part of the castle.  _

_ A moment later her back was crushed against the wall, not really hard enough to hurt, but enough to squeeze the air from her lungs. That’s when she saw him. Professor Snape stood right in front of her, his black eyes boring into her with a mix of anger and desperation. _

_ "You've been avoíding me," he growled while gripping her shoulders. "Don't you realize that we need each other?" _

_ Hermione looked at him with wide eyes, her heart racing in her chest. “I don’t need you,” she mumbled, unable to tear her eyes away from him. _

_ “No? Does this mean you don’t feel this ache in your heart? This longing? Because I most certainly do,” he said, his thumb slowly stroking the base of her neck. “And I think you do too, even though you’re adamant to admit it.” _

_ Hermione wanted to tell him to let her go, to stop touching her, but she found that she couldn’t. He was right, she had been longing for him, longing for his presence and for his touch, even though it was complete madness, after what she had recently learned.  _

_ “No, it’s true. I don’t need your presence to feel content and neither do you need mine. You can’t even stand me,” Hermione exclaimed and started to struggle against his grip. “Now let me go, Sir!” _

_ “No,” he said, his hands holding her firmly while he made another step towards her so that she could soon feel his firm, lean body against hers. “We need to talk about this, about us, because we know both that you’re lying - that I’ve been lying to myself. I need you Hermione and I want you in ways that I most definitely shouldn’t.”  _

_ She stared at him speechlessly, no longer struggling against his grip. “No, Sir, you’re lying,” she said, even though her heart started to believe him. “You’re just saying this because of the bond, you're…”  _

_ But she didn’t get any further as a moment later his lips sealed her mouth and pulled her in a hungry kiss. One of his legs snaked between hers and he pressed himself against her, his manhood clearly showing the truth of his words. He did want her and Merlin, she wanted him back.  _

_ “I’m done lying, Hermione,” he said, his eyes focussing on her once more. “I’m done denying those feelings, because I’ve decided to no longer hide things from you. God help me, girl, I want you, I want everything you’re willing to give me.” _

_ “I…” Hermione did not know what to say, her mind bussing with this new information and the different feelings that were raging through her: confusion, disbelief, hope, longing… there were so many things she felt and was unable to express. But Professor Snape did not seem discouraged by her lack of verbal response. His hands started to wander from her shoulders up to her face, which he cupped with both hands, his eyes seeking out her’s as if to ask for permission.  _

_ "I will not touch you if that is not what you want," he whispered and even though she clearly felt his arousal, she believed him. "Just tell me to stop and I will." _

_ His mouth was only inches away as he waited for her answer. She could feel his breath tickle her, tempt her. It was only moments until she gave in, her mouth closing the small distance that was left between them and he welcomed her with an eager kiss. His mouth opened up for her, his tongue teasing, licking and tempting until she could feel her legs get shaky. But his hands travelled down her sides and cupped her waist, before pressing her against the wall and holding her steady.  _

_ It was minutes until they broke apart, both breathing heavily after having deprived themselves of oxygen for far too long. She did not care, because kissing him felt like nothing she had experienced before. And suddenly she realized that she did indeed want him back. _

_ Ssssssss _

Hermione awoke with a gasp only to realize that it had all just been a dream. Seven hells, and what a dream it was. She could have sworn that her lips still tingled from the kisses Professor Snape had just given her, her heart still racing from the intensity of their encounter. Only that there had been no encounter, to begin with. Professor Snape despised her, the words in his journal being the unmistakable proof.

This dream was probably just her subconsciousness’ attempt to deal with her self-isolation, as seeing him for mealtimes might not have been enough to satisfy the bond. But that did not make this dream any more true. 

Merlin. She had really hoped to be over her feelings for her Professor, but it seemed like this link was working against her, tricked her by letting her believe things that could not be farther from the truth. 

Well, or maybe those dreams were just her way to process things. She would just have to be careful not to confuse them with the truth and she would definitely not read anything into them. Because Professor Snape admitting his feelings for her was nothing more than wishful thinking. 

Ssssssss

Severus had hoped that dreaming of Miss Granger was a thing of the past, as he hadn’t had one of  _ those _ dreams ever since he had allowed himself to vent some sexual energy by taking matters in his own hands - so to speak. It had worked perfectly for weeks and by now he had almost perfected the skill of occluded wanking. So where had this dream come from?

Luckily he'd at least had a few hours of good sleep and after a cold shower, he'd hopefully be able to function for the day. There was still lots of time until breakfast, but he would spend it by reading in his favourite armchair. It wouldn't be long until he had to teach stupid dunderheads again, which meant that reading in the mornings wasn't possible for much longer. So he'd better make good use of the time he had left.


	24. The new normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's take a moment to amuse ourselves with the fact, that this was supposed to be a short story with a maximum of 25 chapters. I don't think we're anywhere close to the ending right now... Well, this story sort of got out of hand... but I'm not sorry at all.

The last days of summer break dragged on with painful slowness. Hermione spent most of her time in the Room of Requirements while she forced herself to eat meals in the Great Hall with the staff. It was enough to keep the unpleasant side-effects of her self-isolation at bay, well apart from those dreams. They came back to her night by night and made her wake up sweaty and aching for more. But she refused to touch herself after having dreamt of a man who did not even like her. She would not fuel those feelings for him by giving in and fantasizing about something she could never have - not that she wanted to, after the things Professor Snape had done and didn’t even seem to regret. 

Still, something kept nagging her in the back of her mind and after having awoken from yet another similarly agitating dream, she suddenly knew what it was. When she had first entered Professor Snape’s private quarters she had not realized it right away, but now she remembered that she had seen his sofa before -  _ in one of those dreams _ . Suddenly, she was wide awake, her heart hammering with panic in her chest. Could it be that they shared those dreams through the bond - that he had them, too? Merlin, she hoped not, because this would give this current madness a whole new, mortifying perspective. But Hermione guessed, there was only one way to find out and she hastily slipped on her nightgown. She would go back to the Room of Requirements and do some research because sleep would not come for her anytime soon after this discovery.

One hour and one book later Hermione was certain. Again, the Room of Requirements had provided her with the book she needed and it had not taken her long to find the answers she sought. But they did not make her feel better in the least, because now she knew that dreams containing the both of them were usually shared and dreamt by both partners of the bond. It did not mean that they were any more realistic for that, as one could only influence small portions of the dream. That did not make her feel any better, though. Professor Snape was experiencing those dreams with her. He was dreaming of kissing her, touching her and desiring her. Sweet Merlin. She could only pray that he was not aware of this fact. Looking at him and bracing his lessons would be hard enough as it was.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus watched from the teacher's table as student after student started filling the Great Hall, each of them eager for the Welcoming Feast to start. He could spot Weasley, a wide grin on his face, as he joined Miss Granger at the Gryffindor table after hugging her way longer than it was appropriate, he thought. The girl did not seem to mind though, as she closed her arms around him with almost as much enthusiasm, a pleased smile playing at her lips. Had those two been this close last year?

More than once he had found himself wondering how it would be to simply hold her, encircling her with his arms, while his nose was buried in her curls. It was what those recent dreams left him aching for, this and her forgiveness, which he had at night only to be snatched away from him in the mornings, after he had woken up. Getting her forgiveness was always so  _ easy _ in his dreams, usually, he kept convincing her of the truth of his feelings by kissing her until she whimpered against his mouth - until she forgave him. But as far as dreams went, the reality would not allow him to do such a thing, especially as he wasn't sure if Miss Granger would even welcome his advances. It was more likely that Minerva would be having words with him, soon after, and no amount of conciliation from Albus would stop her from having his balls. Fuck!

He needed to find another way to convince her, that he did care for her and that he indeed was sorry for what he had done. But how to do that without crossing the invisible line between teacher and student was beyond him. It was what he mulled over for days, without finding a solution. And now the last precious days of summer break were gone, without him having said a word to her. Morgana's tits! Even finding a chance to talk to her undisturbed would be hard enough with all those morons flooding the castle now. 

Severus’s eyes drifted through the crowd. Potter and Malfoy were strangely absent and he could not help but ask himself if he’d already be forced to give his first detentions for the year. He would not be surprised if the two of them had gotten in trouble, probably even with each other. Their rivalry strongly reminded him of James and himself, only that it wasn’t quite clear who was taking James’ place in this peculiar comparison. 

“Well, Severus, isn’t it lovely to be back at the castle?” Slughorn’s voice pulled him out of his musings. The man had gotten even more massive throughout the last years, even though Dumbledore had stated the old fart had been on the run. Must have been a slow run then, Severus thought, his mouth twitching with amusement. “I hope you won’t hold it against me that the Headmaster has offered me your old position.”

Severus schooled his features into a friendly smile. Dumbledore had given him a task concerning old Horace and he’d want the man to feel unworried about having Severus as a competition. If he wanted a good chance to get this memory from him, he’d need him to feel safe enough to relax in his presence. 

“The Headmaster has found that my talents are needed elsewhere, Professor. There is no reason to begrudge you anything, as I have finally gotten the chance to try my hand in Defense against the Dark Arts - a topic, I have taken an interest in long ago.” It was the truth. Severus was actually quite happy to no longer be forced to teach potions, as most students were either free of talent or enthusiasm which made those hours hard enough to bear. 

“Very good, very good,” old Slughorn exclaimed, his saggy cheeks wobbling as he nodded. “You can call me Horace now, of course. We’re colleagues now, aren’t we?” Slughorn laughed, before taking a generous swig of the wine, the house-elves provided for his dinner. 

“I always found you were one of the most talented and promising students from my collection. Pity, that you did not put those talents to good use. But I guess not all of us can end up in politics, can we?” 

With that, Severus felt a massive hand clap his shoulder and he immediately stiffened in discomfort. It was probably only meant as a friendly gesture, but it still took all of his self-control to not sneer at the man for his touchiness. “I found that not all of us have the desire to be famous,” he said, schooling his features into a mask of indifference. “As some do prefer to make use of their talents far away from the spotlight. But that does not mean, they have any less of an impact.  Teaching those dunderheaded students is surely not what I envisioned myself doing, but  I find myself unencumbered by my duties as a professor from time to time. Those moments are filled with experiments and inventions that strike me on a regular basis. And the patents I am holding do make for a nice, additional income. ”

"True, true," Slughorn admitted with a sigh before he finally removed his clammy hand from Severus' robes. Severus was sure he had wanted to say something else, but his concentration was broken by Potter and Malfoy, entering the Great Hall after dinner had already started. Much to Severus' satisfaction James's son sported a bloody nose as he made his way to the Gryffindor table where he was greeted with worried expressions from his friends. "This is Harry Potter, is it not?" Slughorn inquired, a hesitant undertone in his voice.

“Indeed,” Severus confirmed as neutrally as possible. Then he decidedly started savouring the food on his plate. Luckily his colleague got the hint and refrained from bothering him any longer. 

  
  


Ssssssss

“Merlin Harry, what  _ happened _ ?” Hermione found herself asking, as soon as she and the boys had found themselves a silent corner in the Gryffindor common room. Hermione had moved back into the dorm this morning, the house-elves had been more than eager to help her with the luggage she needed to transfer back. Some things she left behind, knowing that Professor Dumbledore had allowed her to continue to use the room even though the new school year had started. But Hermione did not want to put too much attention on the fact, that she was now a permanent resident of the castle and therefore she would only use her private room in emergencies. 

“Malfoy,” Harry said and gruffly rubbed his chin. She had asked him the same question during dinner, but her friend had only mumbled the name of his rival, before putting her off until after dinner. “I’ve been watching him in the Hogwarts Express.”

Hermione looked at her friend with furrowed brows. “Why?” 

“Long story,” Ron mumbled next to her on the sofa and Hermione got the feeling that he already knew the full story. But luckily both of her friends did not hesitate to fill her in about their observations in Knockturn Alley. For once, Hermione did not scold them for their reckless behaviour and did not question what Harry had observed, even though something told her that there was more to the story than Malfoy suddenly being a Death Eater. 

“So you suspected he was up to something and spied on him in the train?” she summarized and looked at her friend with a raised brow. “Looks like that didn’t go too well.” 

Ron next to her snorted, while Harry looked at her with a grumpy smile. “Not really, no,” he muttered, ruffling his black hair. “Still, I just  _ know _ he’s up to something. I just don’t know what that is…”

Hermione looked at him with a supportive smile. “Well, if he hides something, we will find out, alright? We’ll keep out an eye for him,  _ carefully _ , and now that it’s the three of us again, I’m sure one of us will observe something eventually.” 

“Does that mean you believe me?” Harry asked with a hopeful smile and even though Hermione was not thoroughly convinced, she would not tell him that. Not, when she finally had her friends back and needed their support as much as they needed hers. 

  
  


Ssssssss

They had potions first thing in the morning. Hermione half expected to see Professor Snape when entering the potions classroom, but instead of him, a large, grey-haired man was standing in the middle of the room, looking at the incoming students with happy, friendly eyes. The contrast between him and Professor Snape couldn't have been bigger. Professor Slughorn was probably twice the size of her former potions Professor and he had the aura of a friendly, good-natured grandpa. Where Professor Snape was all edges and unfriendly grunts and sneers, his successor invited them in enthusiastically and wasn't shy to chat to them or answer their questions. It was a refreshing change and even though Hermione had never minded Professor Snape as a teacher, she was sure that the old Professor who took his position now, would do a good job instructing them.

Ten minutes into the lesson Harry and Ron suddenly rushed into the room, explaining that they would now be able to join the course, as Professor Slughorn would be satisfied with their OWL scores. The Professor seemed most pleased with their appearance and after lending them some potions books their lesson finally started. 

“Now, I was saying, I prepared some concoctions this morning,” The Professor continued while looking at them with a good-natured smile. “Any ideas what these might be?”

Hermione did not even have to look at the displayed cauldrons again, as she had already studied them as soon as she had entered the classroom. Therefore she eagerly raised her hand, before any other student could. 

The Professor looked at her with a pleased smile. “Yes, Miss…?”

“Granger, Sir,” Hermione supplied helpfully and stepped forward. She halted at the first cauldron and looked at its contents with concentration. “That one there is Veritasserum. It’s a truth-telling serum,” she explained before motioning to the cauldron to its left. “And that one - it’s terribly tricky to make. This is Amortentia, the most powerful love potion in the world. It’s rumoured to smell different to each person, according to what attracts them,” Hermione continued and took a deep breath. And truly the smell of it was intoxicating: new parchment, freshly mown grass but also a more earthy smell, that strongly reminded her of Professor Snape. Her eyes widened. Merlin, she could not share that bit of information with the class, she realized and hastily took a step back from the cauldron that tempted her with its intoxicating smell. Without realizing it, she had slowly crept closer, sniffing it and now she could see several other students doing the same. But according to Professor Slughorn’s explanation Amortensia  _ was _ the most dangerous potion in the room, after all. 

A moment later Professor Slughorn closed the cauldron and introduced them to a potion he had brewed as a prize for the best student of this lesson. One small phial of Felix Felices was offered for the student who managed to brew a perfect sample of the Draught of Living Death, a potion Hermione had read about before in Professor Snape’s potion book and which she still remembered by heart. She was sure that with Professor Snape’s help she would indeed be able to brew a perfect potion for Professor Slughorn, as she was sure that the modifications the Half-Blood Prince made, would help her do just that. But should she? Would Professor Slughorn maybe even tell her former potions teacher of her success? Professor Snape would surely make the right connections and know, that she had used his notes to win the prize. 

Hermione nervously chewed on her bottom lip, while she could see the students around her start setting up their brewing equipment. She would have to make a decision soon. Without doubt, a dose of liquid luck would be very useful in the dark times that might lay ahead of them. It could save her life, or Harry's life, if they used it wisely.

She nodded. This was the only answer she needed. Soon, there would be a war and she would secure every advantage she could get for her side. If that meant using Professor Snape’s knowledge, which he had freely offered to her, then she would do that. There were more important things than her wounded pride, winning the war and killing You-Know-Who for example. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  
  
  
  



	25. Of headstrong Gryffindors

“You did it, Mione!” Ron said, bouncing excitedly as they made their way back to the Gryffindor tower. “I mean, we always knew you’re brilliant, but even Professor Slughorn seemed to be impressed with you.”

Hermione nodded and said: “I think he’s a very good teacher, don’t you think? Many of you did pretty well and Malfoy’s potion was almost as good as mine.”

“But yours was better,” Ron said, a happy grin on her face. “What are you gonna do with the Felix Felices now?” 

“I’m going to save it. With You-Know-Who being around, one of us will probably be in dire need of a perfect day, don't you think?"

“Yeah,” Harry murmured to her right, his eyes focussed on Malfoy, who was walking some metres ahead of them. "We really might. Pity we can't make more. Or can we? Do you have any idea how to brew that stuff?"

“No, Felix Felices is a really advanced potion, Harry. It’s definitely not on the curriculum. It probably needs an experienced potion master to brew it,” she said and involuntarily her thoughts drifted back to Professor Snape. Had he ever brewed it, or even used it? It was possible of course, as Professor Snape definitely had the skill to brew such a complicated potion. Would it be possible for him to brew some of it for the Order? It surely wouldn't hurt to have it in the next fight.

Ssssssss

  
  


As the day progressed, Hermione could feel herself get more and more tired, while she also seemed to be more and more on edge. The reason, of course, was not hard to guess, as Professor Snape now took his meals at the teacher’s table and the increased physical distance to him was probably no longer enough to satisfy what remained of their connection. But it wasn’t of any consequence, she would  _ not _ seek Professor Snape out, being forced to admit, that she could not stand to stay away from him. It wasn't like he had sought her out, or would, because he had only done so because he had had had no other choice. But now, with their connection weakening, it probably wouldn't be much longer until they would not have to see each other at all. And honestly, it was for the best. Professor Snape would probably never see more in her than the student that had annoyed him for years, and she would not beat herself up over something that she could not have - what exactly that was, she did not dare to formulate. 

“Hermione? Are you alright?” Harry’s voice suddenly pulled her out of her musings and when she lifted her eyes from her still untouched plate, she could see him looking at her with concern. "You look kind of peakchy."

“I…” she did not even know what to say, as her head was simply buzzing painfully, her thoughts a jumbled mess. “I don’t feel very well,” she mumbled, pushing her plate away. “I think I’ll just go to bed, ‘m not hungry anyway.”

“You sure?” Ron asked next to her and she just nodded and rose from her seat. 

“Yeah. I probably just need a good sleep and I’ll be better in the morning.” Without another word she turned around and walked out of the Great Hall, unaware of the pair of black eyes, that watched her intensely. She could only hope that sleep indeed would help her recover, even though she started to doubt it. Maybe it was finally time to use that bottle of Dreamless Sleep that Professor Snape had given her. They had DADA first thing in the morning anyway. She just had to make it until then, but going by the ache in her chest, she would unintentionally seek him out before the night was over. It was, like she did not even have a choice. But she had. She would not embarrass herself in front of Professor Snape again by seeking out his door like a stray cat. No, she had a bottle of Dreamless Sleep and she was going to use it. Mabe a night without a dream of him was all she needed. 

  
  


Ssssssss

“What do you make of young Mister Malfoy’s behaviour, Severus?” Albus asked his new DADA Professor while patiently stirring his cup of tea. “Do you think he still has the task to kill me?”

The younger man looked at him with a thoughtful expression in his tired face. “I doubt the Dark Lord has suddenly cancelled the boy’s task, even though he can not hope for him to be successful. I am sure by now he knows, that I have been told of Draco's assignment and therefore will try to stop him. But even  _ if  _ he still thought me on his side, young mister Malfoy never had a very good chance of succeeding. Therefore, I can only conclude that this task is meant as a punishment for the Malfoy family.”

“You think Tom set the boy up for failure?” Albus asked while thoughtfully stroking his beard. “He must know, that I would never kill a  _ student _ .”

Severus shrugged silently and once more Albus realized how drawn and spent he looked. A few days ago he had hoped, that his boy, because that’s how he saw him, had finally found his Gryffindor courage again. His and Miss Granger’s trip to Diagon Alley let him hope, that they had finally found some common ground, where their happiness could be sown out. But during the last days, he had seen Miss Granger more and more distance herself from Severus, which could only lead to the conclusion, that Severus had once more taken the wrong path. 

“Others might,” the young man finally said, before rubbing his temples with a sigh.

Albus nodded. “What do you suggest we do with the boy then? Should we offer him an alternative?”

Severus looked at him with a dark expression. "Are you suggesting to make him the new spy of the Order, Albus? To make him my successor in the Dark Lord’s ranks?” the man sneered in evident disapproval.

He looked back at his young Professor with a small smile. "Don't you think the boy is worth being offered a way out? He is even younger than you were, before Tom lured you in."

“Gah, I'm too tired for this conversation," Severus groaned, rubbing his temples. But his black eyes stayed focussed on him, while he continued: "Draco will never leave his parents behind. Unlike me, he is very focussed on his family, even though his regard for his father might have taken a vast blow during these last months. But it does not matter."

Albus nodded. He had expected as much. "We could offer his parents protection if that's what the boy wishes."

Severus looked at him with a raised brow. “Could we? Where? Do you want to invite them to Hogwarts as well? Because I can tell you, that you can never be sure if they would not simply try to assassinate you in the attempt to rise in the Dark Lord's graces again." His younger friend sighed tiredly, rubbing his forehead again. "Albus, the whole Malfoy clan has the first and foremost goal to survive. They will not join you, as long as they are not convinced, that we will be on the winning side of this war. If they are, then you might even convince them to join the fight. But their support will not come without making them a good offer, this much I can tell you."

Albus smiled at the other man, thankful for his insight. “I see. Well, not everyone is as selfless and dedicated as you, my boy,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “What is your suggestion concerning young Draco then?”

“We watch him,  _ closely _ ,” Severus replied, steepling his fingers in front of his chin. “Time will tell us about the boy’s intentions. We can still approach him later on. I also suggest staying on our watch around the castle. The Dark Lord obviously wants you gone and it is possible, Draco is not the only one tasked to assure that you don’t see the end of the year.”

“Then we will be on our watch,” Albus answered with a reassuring nod. 

“Is there anything else you wanted?” his favourite Slytherin asked in a tired voice. 

For a moment Albus considered asking him after his problems concerning Miss Granger and the bond, but then he could not see this conversation end well right now. No, he would let Severus be for now and start making his own plans.

“No, this would be all for tonight, my boy,” he replied kindly and it was only a moment until Severus Snape stormed out of his office, his robe billowing behind him. Albus followed his retreating figure with his eyes. It was obvious that the man needed help, as he himself seemed either too hesitant or too proud to set things right himself. Therefore it was almost his duty to help his friend out. Luckily he got the feeling that Miss Granger would be far more approachable than the grumpy potions master himself. 

Ssssssss

Severus did almost not find the energy to drag his sorry arse out of bed in the morning. More than once he had considered storming into the Gryffindor tower at night, demanding that Miss Granger come with him. But it didn’t take a genius to realize that this was a shitty idea and would end with his arse getting grilled by an angry Minerva. And that was nothing he ever wanted to experience again - once had been enough. 

Therefore he stayed in his rooms and after many restless hours of pacing and shifting around in bed, he must have fallen asleep. Not that he felt rested in the morning. 

Luckily his first lesson was DADA with the stubborn Gryffindor girl and he planned on making good use of that time. 

Severus swept into the classroom and let his eyes travel over the students. Miss Granger was there, sitting in the first row as she usually did. But her eyes were firmly fixed on the table in front of her, avoiding to even look at him. Still, it was not difficult to see how tired she was. There were dark shadows under her eyes and her skin looked pale and waxy, which made her look like she should have been at the hospital wing and not in a classroom. But Severus knew better, as already her physical presence in the room made him feel like he was finally able to breathe again. 

“You’ll be learning some proper defence this year,” he stated, giving his voice its typical emotionless tone. “The last years you’ve had the misfortune to be mostly taught by idiots and imposters, resulting in many of you being next to helpless.”

There were many murmurs throughout the classroom and a snort, coming out of Potter's direction. Of course, the brat felt the need to question him again. "Is there anything you wanted, Potter?" Severus asked in a bored tone.

"Nothing, Sir," the boy replied, even though his resentful, green eyes spoke an entirely different story. But Severus did not care for his input or the fact, that Potter found himself superior in defence. He’d teach him otherwise. 

“This year you will learn to cast silently. Does anyone have an idea why doing so would be desirable for a witch or wizard?” 

Several hands raised, but Miss Granger felt the need to continue ignoring him. He sighed. “Potter?”

“It gives the advantage of your opponent not knowing in advance, what spell you’re casting,” the Gryffindor replied proudly. 

Severus nodded. “Correct. What else?”

The first students started to look at him helplessly, but not all of them. “Mr Malfoy?”

“It assures that self-invented spells can not easily be copied by others,” his godson replied in a proud, nasal tone. 

"Indeed," he confirmed, his eyes scanning the classroom. Miss Granger still was not looking at him, but slowly he could feel the energy flowing back into his body, indicating that her physical presence was enough - for now. Still, this lesson was his chance to assure that both of them would make it through this week. But he sensed that the headstrong Gryffindor attempted to be less than helpful with that. “Any other ideas why casting non-verbally might be beneficial?” He waited for a moment and as no hands raised, he fixed the bushy-haired girl with his dark eyes. “Miss Granger? Any insights on that matter?”

Her eyes snapped up and fixed him with a stubborn glare that made his heart jump for a moment. “It enables you to cast, even after you’ve been silenced in a duel,” she said, without breaking out in her typical long explanations. He nodded with a small, satisfied smile.

"It does," he said, before focussing the rest of the students again. Now that he had driven home the importance of non-verbal casting, he went on to explain the process itself. To his satisfaction, he saw many students listen attentively, even Potter who seemed eager to improve his duelling skills. Good. It appeared the brat wasn't as lazy in defence, as he had been in potions.

“Split up in pairs and start practising”, he instructed, knowing that there was an uneven number of students. It was the chance he had been waiting for. “Miss Granger, you’ll be practising with me.”

It was the second time her eyes focussed on him and this time he could read not only fierceness but also surprise in them. He half expected her to resist, but she did not say a word and just rose from her seat to walk towards him, with her head raised proudly. 

Severus waited until all the students had started practising before he led her to the back of the room. "Take your position, Miss Granger," he said calmly. "Start casting as soon as you feel ready to do so."

Only a small nod indicated, that she had heard him. But it was enough for him right now. As long as she did not outwardly refuse to work with him, he would still count it as progress. 

He felt her eyes fixing him in concentration and for about a minute nothing happened. Then, suddenly he felt her magic lick over him and he felt her curse building before she managed to cast it. Be blocked her stunner non-verbally, without even making use of his wand. 

"Good," he commented calmly. Of course, she was the first student to manage a non-verbal spell. No surprise here. "Again.”

The girl glared at him. This time she managed the spell faster, but he blocked it effortlessly nonetheless. "Good. Now try defending yourself," he said and pulled out his wand. For a moment she saw her flinch, but she hastily composed herself and stared at him defiantly. He gave her a moment to concentrate before he disarmed non-verbally and caught her wand with an experienced motion. He did not comment on her failure, just offered her the wand in his hand. She'd have to collect it from him, when she wanted it back, but he could tell that coming close enough to do so was not what she wanted to do.

"Try again," Severus said, in an almost bored tone and waited for her to approach. For a moment Miss Granger just stared at him, before her eyes hardened and she walked towards him with her chin raised proudly. She plucked her wand out of his hands, turned and walked back to her position, her back ramrod straight. He waited for her to collect herself, as her agitation was clearly visible on his face. It was only a moment before she was forced to collect her wand from him again. Severus smiled.

“Looks like there is still some room for improvement here, Miss Granger. Let's swap roles for now. Obviously, you are more comfortable attacking, right now," he stated, a small smile on his face. He did not have to wait long for her first spell to connect with his shield. When he blocked it again, he saw something in her expression shift and a moment later he could feel her ire turn on him. What followed was a rapid succession of stunners, aimed at him with growing vigour and speed. He blocked them, one by one without comment, but he could tell that something had snapped within her and her anger had finally found a way out. Miss Granger did not even seem aware of her surroundings any longer, as her caramel brown eyes were now trained at him, as her wand spit out spell after spell, no word leaving her mouth but her eyes aflame with fire. Severus could tell, that the class had gotten aware of the little show her classmate so willingly displayed and when he saw them grouping behind her with stunned expressions on their faces, he raised his hand and told her: "Enough."

It was, like she had not even heard him. The next stunner left her wand only seconds later, the class gasping at her blatant ignorance of his command. He blocked her spell without much effort. That's enough," he repeated himself, only to earn himself another curse. He could not let this go on, he realized, while blocking the spell. "Miss Granger! Enough!", he shouted, his voice hard as steel.

The effect was immediate. It was like the girl awoke from some kind of trance, as her eyes suddenly snapped away from him, widening in horror at the realization of what she had done a moment later. It was probably the first time she had outwardly defied a teacher, he realized as his black eyes settled on her. 

"I expect you to obey, when I tell you to cease the fight," he stated, his eyes focussing on her a moment, before they moved on to the other students. "That goes for all of you. We would not want any unfortunate accidents, at least not more than strictly necessary."

“Yes, Sir,” the class chorussed. A grim smile formed on his face and he turned towards his stubborn bond-mate. “Miss Granger, obviously you still need to learn the importance of following orders  _ as soon as they are given _ ,” he stated and he saw her cheeks pinken with embarrassment. “You’ll be in detention with me for the rest of the week and hopefully you will remember to do better, next time.”

He saw her eyes widen at the realization that she would spend the evening with him but at the same time, he could feel their bond tingle with satisfaction.

“Yes, Sir,” she mumbled as a reply, her caramel brown eyes avoiding to make contact with him. 

"Good. For the next lesson, I expect ten inches on the advantages and disadvantages of non-verbal casting," he said dismissing the class. One by one the students trudged out of the room, Miss Granger flanked by her two Gryffindor heroes. He watched her go, knowing, that she would be back in his study in the evening. Now he just needed a good way to explain things to her, or to win back her trust, without imitating his recurring dreams and crossing the fine line between teacher and student. It was easier said than done.


	26. Detention

“I can’t believe you did this Hermione,” Ron said in a disbelieving tone while they were walking towards their Transfiguration class. “I mean, I get it. Snape’s a git and all that, but he’ll make you pay for attacking him like that and making him look like a fool.”

“Yeah,” Hermione mumbled while staring at the floor in dismay. How could she have lost her restraint like that? Attacking him had just felt  _ good _ , in a way that made her feel embarrassed now. There were just so many feelings she had bottled up over the last days and now there was finally this way  _ out  _ for them. While throwing spell after spell towards him she could pretend that she, too, was able to hurt him, as he had hurt her. Not that she’d ever had the chance to land a hit, to begin with. “I don’t know why I did that,” she said. “It just felt so good to curse him, you know?”

The boys snorted. “Course we do,” Ron said and squeezed her shoulder.

Harry, at her other side, nodded. “Yeah. He’s singled you out again. You did not deserve that. It’s like he knew what happened in the Department of Mysteries. But I guess his Death Eater friends have been bragging about it.”

Hermione sent him a doubtful look. “He’s no longer a Death Eater, Harry,” she mumbled. “Don’t you know?”

“Know what?” her friends chorused, staring at her curiously.

Hermione sighed. There wasn’t enough time for a lengthy explanation now, but she knew that the boys wouldn’t just let it go like that. Making a short decision she pulled them into a broom-cupboard around the corner, before casting a Muffliato around them. Harry and Ron watched her with wide eyes.

“What was that spell?” Harry asked, furrowing his brows.

“Muffliato,” she explained. “This way we won’t be overheard.”

“Wicked,” Ron mumbled, shifting next to her in the small space and involuntarily she felt his arm brush her chest. Hermione ignored it.

“It’s useful,” she admitted with a small, pleased smile. “Anyway, Professor Snape is no longer a Death Eater. He... something must have happened, I don’t exactly know the details, but I know that he cut off his arm to get rid of the Dark Mark.”

“He cut off his arm?” Harry asked, his voice full of disbelief. “But Hermione, he still has both arms.”

She rolled her eyes. “He  _ regrew _ it, of course. I mean, there must be potions for that sort of thing, right? If you’re able to regrow a bone with Skelegrow, why not a whole arm?” she added resourcefully. ”Remember? I spent a big part of my summer break at the castle and I’ve  _ seen _ it. For some weeks Professor Snape just had his right arm. The other one just grew back a couple of days ago.”

Hermione wouldn’t tell them that she had helped the Professor brewing the potion or regrowing his arm. That was none of their business. But she was sure the Order had been aware of his condition and the circumstances that led to it. Therefore she thought it was alright to share the knowledge with her friends. They needed to know, that Professor Snape was on their side of the war, without a way back to his former master.

“Wicked,” Ron mumbled, sounding impressed.

“Doesn’t change the fact that he’s still a git,” Harry added, before pushing the little door back open. Ron snorted before they one by one climbed back into the corridor again. They’d have to hurry if they wanted to make it in time for their next lesson. But Hermione thought this little talk would be worth Professor McGonagall scolding them, because with Ron and Harry back at the castle she finally had the feeling not to be alone any longer.

Ssssssss

Hermione was just about to walk to her afternoon classes when Neatly, the house-elf, appeared right in front of her. 

“Professor Dumbledore invites Miss Granger into his office,” the little female squeaked, staring at her with huge, yellow eyes. “Neatly is to tell Miss Granger, that she should get there right away and will be excused from her classes for the time of the meeting.”

Hermione stared at the little elf with wide eyes. Why did the Headmaster suddenly want to talk to her? Was something wrong with her parents? Or had she somehow gotten herself into trouble? She stared at Ron and Harry, who waited next to her, with a lost expression. 

Harry, who must have understood her unasked question shrugged. “We’ll tell Professor Flitwick that you’ll be late. Don’t worry, I’m sure everything is fine.”

Hermione could only hope they were right. But she guessed she was about to find out in a few minutes.

Ssssssss

“Ah, Miss Granger! Do come in,” Albus greeted the nervous girl and motioned for her to come inside. Miss Granger stared at him with an almost panicked expression, probably trying to access if she was in trouble. He could not fault her, as he rarely invited students for a friendly chat into his office. “Tea?”

The girl slowly came closer, looking at his cheerful expression in puzzlement. “Did something happen to my parents?” she asked, a hint of panic in her voice. 

Albus shook his head with a reassuring smile. “Do not worry, my girl, everything is in the best order. I merely invited you here to talk about possible plans for the time after your birthday.”

He had decided to take things slow in this first meeting. As the girl was connected to Severus, she would not go anywhere anytime soon. Therefore, there was no reason for him to get careless and give away the game. He could afford to take his time to convince her of his position and the ideas he had for her and his DADA professor.

The girl’s relief was clearly visible as she sunk back into the cushioned chair he had provided for her. “I do not understand, Sir,” she said, carefully sipping the tea he had carefully laced with a mild calming draught. Nothing that went over the top, but enough to make her feel relaxed in his presence. Going by the pressure radiating from her body and the dark shadows under her eyes, she needed it.

“Did you consider joining the Order, after you are of age?” he asked, his grandfatherly smile firmly in place. “Because we could use such a bright and brave woman like you.”

Miss Granger looked at him with a confused expression, but the little smile on her lips told him that she was pleased by his compliment. Good. It would make her listen to what he had to say. “I’d love to, Sir. I just thought you only started recruiting once a person has left school.”

He nodded with a smile. “Usually we do. But in your case I see myself making an exception. Thanks to your intelligence and your out-of-the-box-thinking I am going to see the end of the school year, as well as hopefully many other years, after that. Apart from that, I have been told, that you are currently in a very special position.”

The girl looked at him with a considering look, but her face darkened as soon as she understood, what he had hinted at. “You mean my connections with Professor Snape?” she asked, her voice suddenly a lot more distant. 

Albus nodded with a kind smile. “I do. Kindred Magic is a rare gift, my girl, even though it might not seem like it at the moment. But a fully established bond comes with many magical advantages, increased magical power being only one of them.”

She nodded with a tired sigh. “For that, Professor Snape and I would at least need to trust each other and from my side, I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”

“Ah,” Albus said, his understanding smile firmly in place. “I take it things are not going well then. Well, I am not going to ask for any details, as that is none of my business. Professor Snape can be a bit rough around the edges, but I assure you that he does mean well and has a good heart.”

The girl looked at him with a doubtful expression, but the tension was slowly starting to leave her shoulders, indicating that the tea was working. Good. He at least needed to implant a seed of hope and understanding in her, a seed that could be grown into something more, with time. “He has been a spy for a long time and he did not have anyone else than himself. But with this connection between you, the two of you could really have an impact on this war, that is if you are willing to work with each other. I am not going to ask anything of you just now, Miss Granger. There is still time until you reach adulthood. But maybe you would like to consider my words until then and see, what it is you’d like to do for the Order and to end this war endangering people like yourself and your parents.”

He hated to play that particular card, but from the expression in her eyes, he could see, that it was working. Apart from that, it was true. Tom and his cronies endangered the magical world but especially young wizards and witches of non-magical heritage. To end this war, they would have to do their part, too, no matter how hard or unfair it might seem to them. 

“I understand,” Miss Granger mumbled, her eyes taking on a glassy look as she started considering his thoughts. Well, or maybe he had putten a bit too much calming draught in her tea, Albus thought, as he could see her keel sideways on the armchair a moment later. He sighed, his wandless magic catching her gently, stabilizing her as he called for a house-elf to carry her back to her quarters. He had said everything he wanted to, anyway and now the girl would have time to consider his words. He would let her sleep in her quarters for the rest of the afternoon, because going by her tired appearance she really could use a rest. And as far as he was told, she had detention with Severus in the evening and he wanted her in a good mood and well-rested for that.

  
  


ssssssss

Walking down to Professor Snape’s office felt like the hardest thing Hermione had ever done, even though that was probably total nonsense considering the trouble she, Ron and Harry had gotten themselves into. It was, like she was down in the forest again, together with Harry, facing a horde of dementors. But this time there was no getting away, as Professor Snape would be expecting her and if she somehow backed out today, he would only double her number of detentions - she knew he would. So she would simply have to brace those hours with him and scrub cauldrons, or whatever it was he’d make her do. That didn’t mean she had to  _ talk _ to him.

She had barely knocked at his office when he opened the door, his dark eyes scanning her calmly. It was the first time she felt truly insecure under his gaze, which was strange considering she had found pleasure in cursing him in the morning. 

“You’ll be serving your detention outside, Miss Granger,” he announced, before stepping towards her, closing the door behind him. “Follow me.”

Hermione did not dare to question him. Instead, she walked behind him as they exited the castle through a small door in the dungeons that led them to a place close to the Black Lake. Now the water surface was almost orange, reflecting the sun that was about to disappear behind the forest and for a moment she could not help but stare at the beauty of the scene in awe. No matter what Professor Snape would put her through tonight, that moment would almost make it worth it, Hermione told herself. 

They walked for some minutes, always along the shore, until the Professor finally stopped and turned around her with an unreadable expression. “Here we are,” he said calmly. “Considering the amount of time you spent swimming in the lake during the summer, I concluded that you are able to swim well enough. Tell me if I am wrong.”

For a moment she just stared at him, unable to contemplate his words. “You want to take me for a swim?” she asked in total disbelief. Because this was Professor Snape, the man she had only once seen in less than his buttoned-up teaching robes and who did not appear like his idea of detention was taking a student out for a swim in the Black Lake. 

“Not for leisure,” he commented in a dry tone. “You will help me procure something that is reported to be found below the surface of the lake.”

His words prompted a myriad of questions, that immediately started to float around her head, but she found herself unable to ask a single one of them. It wasn’t her place to question him and apart from that, she still did not feel inclined to talk to him, not if she could avoid it. Still, her curiosity wanted her to ask, even though she was not even sure if he would give her an answer. Professor Snape had an affinity for keeping things from her, after all. And she would not give him the chance to lie to her again, she thought, deciding that she wouldn’t say anything at all.

“Transfigure your clothes into something you’re comfortable to swim in,” Professor Snape instructed her and without waiting for her to do so, he took out his wand and transfigured his black robe into a short-sleeved and short-legged swimsuit, that reminded her of the clothes she had seen surfers wearing during the colder season. She decided to aim for something similar, as she would not feel comfortable wearing a bikini in his presence. The Professor patiently waited for her to finish at the shore, his eyes scanning the lake surface like he was looking for something particular. Considering their destination he probably was.

“Do I need to remind you of the lesson you’re supposed to learn from this detention, Miss Granger?” he asked in a deep voice. 

“No, Sir,” she croaked out, her eyes fixed on his chest. Now that his body was not hidden beneath layers of black fabric she could see how lean and wiry his body indeed was. It looked like there wasn’t a bit of fat on him, as his body just seemed to consist of bones and lean muscles. Against the dark contrast of the ground, she could also see his pale arms, each of them unblemished, without the Dark Mark. Hermione blinked as soon as she caught herself staring. 

“Good,” Professor Snape said, slowly stepping towards her until he was almost standing toe to toe with her. “I expect you to follow my commands, Miss Granger,  _ without question and as soon as they are given _ . Did I make myself clear?”

“You did, Sir,” Hermione answered without raising her eyes from his chest. 

“Take that,” he continued and offered her a simple bracelet, that seemed to be made out of thin thread or hair. “As soon as you slip this over your arm, you will be able to communicate with me mentally. I expect you to return it to me, as soon as our little trip has come to an end.”

“”Yes, Sir,” Hermione replied and took the bracelet out of his hand, careful as to not touch his skin. She slipped it unto her left arm a moment later, the soft material warm and comforting against her skin. 

“Very well. Do you prefer the Bubble-Head Charm, partial Transfiguration or Gillyweed?” the man in front of her continued and suddenly Hermione felt the need to lift her eyes and look at him. They seemed black, as they usually did and looked at her with a reassuring calmness, that made her pause. He really had planned this trip very well, even leaving her the choice of the method enabling her to breathe underwater. 

“I think I would prefer the Bubble-Head charm,” she said hesitantly. Ever since her Polyjuice-accident that temporarily turned her into a cat, she did not like the idea of turning parts of her into something resembling an animal. Not that she planned to share this information with him. “I never learned to cast it, though.”

“I will do it for you,” he said and offered her a second item. “Put your wand into this wand-holder and strap it onto your wrist. Your wand will come to your hand, once you make this motion,” he said and showed her what to do with his right arm. There, he too wore a black wand-holder that looked well worn. He probably had worn it for a long time, she realized. “We might have to use our wands later on,” he said, finally stepping away from her. “Your ability to cast non-verbally is luckily well enough established to do just that.”

Hermione blinked. Had he just praised her? Maybe not directly but taking her on such a trip after only one lesson on non-verbal casting seemed more than a bit… unusual.

“I will do my best, Sir,” she promised and stepped next to him into the water. I was still surprisingly warm, but then again it  _ was _ still summer. 

“I expected nothing less from you, Miss Granger. Now come. We will have to swim for a while until we’ll hopefully find the place I have been looking for,” Professor Snape said and walked into the water. Suddenly Hermione found her nerves tingle with anticipation and nervousness. She had expected to scrub cauldrons or prepare big batches of ingredients. Compared to that, accompanying Professor Snape on a trip into the Black Lake did not feel like detention at all. 

ssssssss

Severus felt strangely pleased with himself when he glided through the water next to the girl. Miss Granger was indeed a true Gryffindor, as she had accompanied him into the depth of the lake without questions and without fear. All it took was for him to cast the Bubble-Head Charm on her and she followed him willingly underwater, deeper and deeper into the Black Lake. It was a stroke of luck that he stumbled across the location during his studies in the library and when he had given Miss Granger her detentions in the morning the idea to have her accompany him immediately sprang to his mind. The girl strived on knowledge and adventure and today he had a chance to offer both to her. 

“ _ What are we looking for, Sir?” _ he heard her question in his mind, accompanied by a pleasant tingle of their slowly strengthening bond. Severus had felt their connection weaken over the last days and the dread accompanying this realization had been nothing he had been prepared for. 

“ _ A cave _ ,” he replied, squinting his eyes against the darkness. “ _ It is reported to be located in the rocks beneath the castle. _ ”

“ _ I see _ ,” Miss Granger answered before falling silent again. It didn’t matter. She had spoken to him out of her own free will, which was more than he expected her to do today. It was progress and progress was good. He would not mess this up like an impatient Gryffindor idiot. No, Severus had time, and he would win back her trust bit by bit.

They were probably diving for about twenty minutes when the cave appeared in front of them. The opening in the rock wasn’t huge but big enough for the two of them to swim inside. And one look at it told them, that they were at the right place, as a ghostly bluish light came streaming towards them.

“ _ It’s here, _ ” he said and looked at the girl. Her hair was floating around her like a halo while the light from the cave painted her in ghostly blue. For a moment he thought she looked like a Nymphe, the excited smile on her lips making her look more beautiful than he’d ever seen her. Gods, he wanted to kiss her so badly!

“ _ Professor Snape? What exactly will we find in this cave? _ ” he heard her ask uncertainly. 

He could not help but look at the girl with a smile. “Magical light crystals, of course.”


	27. Emotional distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah! I am sooo tired these days and since my last update, I haven’t written anything. In short, I’m stuck in chapter 32 and hope to get motivated by your comments. Because usually, they help. Therefore I am treating myself today by publishing a bonus chapter (because usually you only get one, after I finished writing a chapter…) Here you go. Don’t let me hanging. ;-)
> 
> Btw, those chapters (the last one and this one) is my fantasy running away with me. I planned writing a normal detention with them “talking”, but I just wanted to send them exploring. So that's what I ended up with: a little adventure. Hope you don't mind.
> 
> This chapter was kindly betaed by Justsare.

Hermione was torn between uncertainty and curiosity when she followed Professor Snape through the narrow gap in the rock. Behind, there was a tunnel, illuminated by a strange, bluish light that probably came from the light crystals the Professor was looking for, even though she could spot none of them. 

Professor Snape swam ahead of her without hesitation, his black hair reflecting the bluish light and trailing behind him like a curtain. It was strange seeing him like that, in a surrounding that was as far from a Hogwarts classroom as it could get. And strangely, the pale man in front of her looked almost content, the tell-tale scowl on his face substituted by a curious smile that made him seem years younger. 

“ _ It cannot be much farther _ ,” she heard him whisper in her head, the tone of his voice strangely reassuring for her. And indeed, he was right. The tunnel widened into a big cave after only a few metres; a cave that was illuminated by hundreds of blue lights, some coming from the walls, some tiny ones floating around them in the air like dust. Hermione gasped in surprise and awe. She wished she could show this place to her parents, share the moment with them, but she supposed it would have to be enough to tell them everything later. 

“ _ This place is truly magical _ ,” she thought, realizing only shortly after that she had shared the words with him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him smile.

“ _ It is _ ,” he answered, turning his head in all directions. 

They did not speak and Hermione used the time to take everything in. They were in a cavern-like room, which was mostly filled with water. Only in the very back of it, there seemed to be a small area that was not flooded and she could see the Professor aim towards it with slow swimming strokes. For a moment she just watched him before she remembered that he had probably taken her along so she could assist him. As she started to swim towards him, she could see him climb out of the water, his eyes roaming over the wall in front of him with a calculating expression. Most of the crystals here were far up, Hermione realized, which meant that they would probably have to climb or find another way to get up there to collect some of them. 

“I will take a look at those different crystals first,” the Professor said, and a moment later Hermione realized that he had cancelled their Bubble-Head charms and truly spoken out loud. “Climb out of the water and rest for a bit. I will be back with you in a moment.”

For a moment she thought he planned to climb up the wall, but then she saw his form blur and shrink, morphing into the raven that had visited her at home some weeks ago. She had known he was an animagus from his journal, and seen his raven-form, of course, but ever since she had read it, she had been distracted by all the other things she had learned, forgetting about this little detail altogether. Now Hermione could not help but stare at him, taking in his glistening black feathers with curious eyes before the Animagus took off from the ground with a raven cry. He circled the room a few times, the flapping of his wings echoing loudly in the cavernous room before she saw him land on the wall, his wings stabilizing him while his beak was testing the stone around one of the crystals. 

“I will need your assistance to remove one of those crystals,” he said after he had landed in front of her, transforming back into his human form as if nothing of significance had happened. But it had. Hermione was pretty sure that no Hogwarts student was aware of the fact that Professor Snape was an Animagus, and considering what a private person he was, she was aware of the significance of him transforming in front of her. She wasn't sure if this was him acknowledging the fact that she had read his diary, but she strongly suspected it was. But was it also meant as an invitation to talk about those things? Because she wasn't even sure if she was  _ ready  _ to hear those hurtful words being repeated directly by him. 

“What do you want me to do, Sir?” she asked, pushing those thoughts away. Right now wasn’t the time to talk anyway. 

Professor Snape looked at her with dark, serious eyes. “I think the best approach would be if you levitated me up there, stabilizing me enough to remove the light crystal with my wand. Do you think you can do that, Miss Granger?”

Hermione felt his eyes on her and involuntarily her eyes were pulled towards his face. “What if I let you fall, Sir?” she asked, her voice quivering ever so slightly.

At that, his lips twitched in amusement. “Then, I guess, I’ll be the shortest DADA teacher in the history of Hogwarts.”

She stared at him in disbelief. Had he just made a joke?

Ssssssss

‘What an idiotic plan,’ Severus thought as he felt the girl’s magic wash over him, levitating him into the air. There were so many different solutions for this problem that would  _ not _ risk him falling to his death - conjuring a platform for him to land on, for example. But then again, his animagus form would save him if Miss Granger lost her nerve, which made the whole endeavour safe enough. Letting her levitate him required a certain amount of trust from him, trust that he would not have had in any other student and only a handful of people. But he trusted Hermione Granger - at least to a certain extent, and he thought it important for their relationship to show her just that. And he thought he was doing a decent job at it.

Miss Granger’s precision with magic was remarkable. He softly floated through the air like he was carried on an invisible pillow, her magic humming reassuringly around him, lulling his nervous mind into security. Then he was there, right in front of the light crystal he had picked for their little project, because he refused to work on the microscope without her. This was  _ their _ project, he thought, realizing how sentimental that sounded. 

“ _ Good, _ ” he praised her through the mental connection he had established. “ _ Now hold me steady. I will start loosening the light crystal now. _ ”

“ _ Yes, Professor _ ,” the girl answered in evident concentration. 

Everything went well until the crystal broke free from the stone, landing in his hand with a soft thud. He felt a soft wave of magic rush over him before suddenly thousands of blue glowing particles from the air came rushing towards him, connecting with his skin a moment later. From below he heard a surprised squeak from Hermione, her magic around him disappearing a moment later, making him rush towards the ground with breakneck speed. He reacted without thinking, his body transforming into its animal form and catching him on its own accord. The crystal meanwhile fell down into the lake below, its blue light slowly sinking towards the bottom. He landed on the ground with a silent curse, Miss Granger staring down at his raven form with wide, frightened eyes.

“Professor, I…” she mumbled, her body shining blindingly from the glowing dust, which must have sought her out, too.

“Are you hurt?” he found himself asking after he had hastily transformed back into his human form, his annoyance replaced by worry for her. “What happened?”

She looked at him helplessly, the lights on her skin dancing around like little glowing stars. “I don’t know, Sir. Those lights came suddenly rushing towards me and I just sort of… panicked.”

He did not speak right away, as his eyes just took her in, trying to assess what had happened to her, no to  _ them _ , because he, too, was glowing like a fucking Christmas tree. “Things coming rushing towards you are usually not a good sign,” he said calmly, before raising his wand and casting some diagnostic spells. There was nothing wrong with her, he realized with a sigh of relief, also noting the fact that he wasn’t in any form of pain. “I do not hold your wish to protect yourself against you.”

Miss Granger nodded, averting her eyes. But he could see the look of insecurity and wariness on her features. Even though he had shown his trust in her, she was far from trusting him, he realized. Did she expect him to sneer at her? To mock her that she had failed and let him fall? If so, she would be disappointed.

“Let us dive for the light crystal and get out of here,” he said, watching her calmly. “If we are lucky this glowing dust - or whatever this is - will wash off. If it is still there when we reach the shore, we can look for a solution at Hogwarts.”

“Yes, Professor,” she said shakily, before squaring her shoulders. 

Severus nodded in satisfaction before he recast their Bubble-Head charms. She did not even wait for him to enter the water before she dove down with a closed-off expression. It almost seemed like she could not wait to get out of here, he thought with a sting in his heart. But then again he could not blame her, after the unfortunate incident with his research journal. 

  
  


Ssssssss

When Hermione’s feet connected with the solid ground again, she could barely keep herself upright any longer. All in all, they must have spent about two hours in the lake and even though their magic had provided them with oxygen and warmth, she felt tired to her bones. Playing and splashing in the water was one thing, but swimming such a distance quite another. Not to mention the strain that the whole endeavour had put on her nerves and magic. 

They had barely left the cave when she had felt her muscles getting tired, but she had soldiered on in the hope of not embarrassing herself even more in front of the Professor. Losing control over her levitation spell had probably been enough for him to see his opinion, that she was a useless schoolgirl, confirmed. Would he write about today's encounter in his research journal? Would he mock her naïveté or incapability, maybe even in front of his colleagues?

No, she would not embarrass herself any further, by asking him to slow down or let her take a break. She could rest as soon as they were out of the water, Hermione thought. But it hadn’t been long until the cramps in her legs started.

She hadn’t even needed to say a word, as Professor Snape was instantly at her side, gripping her arm forcefully. “ _ Stop moving _ ,” he instructed her, his teeth gritted in discomfort. That’s when she realized that he was feeling the pain, too. “It will only make it worse.”

Hermione knew that, of course. “ _ But we need to get to the shore. We’ll drown if we don’t, _ ” she sent her thoughts towards him mentally, unable to suppress the panic she was feeling. She did not want to spend a minute longer in the lake than she absolutely needed to. 

“ _ You are under my watch, Miss Granger _ ,” the man in front of her replied calmly, while his other arm gripped her waist to steady her. “ _ I will make sure to return you to the castle unharmed. I give you my word _ ,” he swore and sought out her eyes. “ _ Now stop moving so we can get this cramp under control _ .”

Hermione stilled immediately, the Professor's words about following his instructions still ringing in her ears. He was right, every movement of her leg just made the pain worse,  _ their _ pain, which really was not helping. 

" _ Good _ ," Professor Snape praised her and indeed she could feel the pain lessen shortly after. " _ Now let's see that we get you to the shore. Try moving your leg again very carefully, toes first.” _

She followed his command, only to flinch from another cramp. It was of no use. She would not be able to move that leg anytime soon. 

“ _ This will not do,” _ Professor Snape said with a shake of his head. “ _ You’ll have to hold onto me then, so I can pull you to the shore.” _

Hermione looked at her Professor in discomfort, but he was right. There was no way she could reach the land herself. 

“ _ I’ll need my wand-arm to transfigure my legs _ ,” he said, matter-of-factly. “ _ You can grip my left shoulder and arm to stabilize yourself until I am finished _ .”

She did not want to, did not want to touch him,  _ cling to him _ , knowing that he detested her touch. But it wasn’t like she had much of a choice. The hand from her shoulder disappeared and as instructed she gripped his arm to hold onto him. From the corner of her eye, she saw him pulling out his wand and a moment later his legs started to morph into what looked like a merman’s tail. She stared at him in wonder. Who would have guessed that he was this well-versed in transfiguration, too?

“ _ Good enough _ ,” she heard him exclaim in her head and a moment later he pulled her in front of him, his arms closing around her waist. It was a strangely intimate gesture, very much like a hug, and for a moment she felt safe and protected in his arms. Then she remembered that he would have never touched her in such a way by choice and stiffened. 

“ _ Hold on tight _ ,” he instructed her and even though she did not want to, her arms closed around his chest. She had barely found a comfortable position to anchor herself, when she felt his muscles flex, propelling them forward a moment later. She found herself clinging to his chest even tighter, burying her head against the thin fabric of his swimming suit. Only then she realized that their bodies had indeed stopped glowing, as the strange dust must have washed off by now, like he had suspected it would. Thank Merlin! Now she could hopefully head back to Gryffindor Tower as soon as they were out of the lake. Because no matter how exciting and interesting their little expedition had been, it did not change the things she had learned through reading his journal. And some of them she would not easily forgive or ever forget, no matter how comforting his arms around her body felt.

ssssssss

**_Time of exposure_ ** _ : 2 hours, 54 minutes,3 seconds _

**_Physical contact_ ** _ : 12 minutes, 24 seconds of full body-contact which was required to help the girl to get back to the shore _

**_Observations_ ** _ :  _

_ Miss Granger’s ‘detention’ turned out to be even more successful than I had anticipated. Even though the girl had clearly emotionally distanced herself from me, she was still willing to follow my commands and touch me, as it became necessary. I find myself highly content after the time spent in her presence, the tiredness and physical discomfort that I felt the last days completely wiped away from my body. I am aware that this is the effect of the Kindred Magic, but on the other hand, I also find myself seeking out the memory of the feeling of her soft skin below my fingers. I have to admit that holding her like this had felt right, in a way that I find myself unable to describe. Even now my fingers tingle in the hope of touching her again, which of course I can and will not do, as it would be most improper given the girl’s age. Still, I cannot help thinking about the fact that it will be the girl’s birthday soon. With the Headmaster supporting the idea, I could start considering a relationship with her. But is that truly advisable given our different stances in life? She would still be my student, after all. _

_ ssssssss _

When Hermione climbed through the portrait hole of the Fat Lady and into the Gryffindor common room, it was already past curfew. She felt tired to the bones as swimming through the lake was more physical exercise than she was used to, but she also felt mentally exhausted. This whole detention had not been what she had expected. Professor Snape had been different and once more she felt conflicted by what she had read in that book of his. A few weeks ago she had also thought him almost kind, as he had more than once challenged her intellect or discussed things with her like he was really interested in what she had to say. Today, it had been the same. She was pretty sure taking a student for an excursion to the Black Lake was not what his detentions usually looked like. So why had he taken her along, asked her to levitate him, if he did not value her presence? It did not make sense,  _ this whole diary did not make sense _ , and the contradictions were mentally ripping her apart. 

“Hermione, you’re back!” Ron greeted her and waved her over to the corner of the common room they usually claimed. She walked towards him with a smile, happy that he had obviously waited up for her. Harry, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen.

“What did the greasy git make you do?” her red-headed friend asked as soon as she sat down next to him, and for a moment Hermione did not know what to answer. But then she decided that there was no reason for her not to tell Ron at least parts of her strange evening, as Professor Snape had not forbidden her to do so. And Hermione felt like she just  _ needed _ to talk about what happened. 

“He took me to the Black Lake,” she murmured while casting a Muffliato around them. “He needed to collect some ingredients from the lake and he took me along.”

Ron stared at her with wide eyes. “He took you into the lake?” he asked in total disbelief. “Don’t tell me he made you wear a bikini!”

“What? No!” Hermione hastily answered while shaking her head in irritation.

Her friend exhaled in obvious relief. “Good. Because the greasy git’s not supposed to see you like that,” he mumbled a moment later, his ears reddening at his words. 

Hermione stared at him in confusion. But as her friend did not say anything else she continued: “He cast a Bubble Head-charm on us, so we could dive down to get his stuff. It was actually not so bad, definitely not what I had expected.”

For a moment Ron stared at her in total disbelief, but then he shrugged and shook his head. “Only you can think that collecting potion ingredients with Snape is fun,” he said with a snort. And somehow she felt herself getting affronted by his words.

“Not potion ingredients,” Hermione found herself saying, suddenly feeling the need to explain her excitement. “We’ve been to a cave with hundreds of light crystals. The place was  _ beautiful _ !”

“Huh. Then you must have been the first student that ever had a nice detention with Snape.” Ron snorted. “And Snape doesn’t  _ do _ nice.”

Somehow Ron’s words exactly fit with the doubts Hermione had, but that she could not tell him without telling him the rest of this embarrassing story. And how was she supposed to explain that she was somehow bound to Professor Snape by Kindred Magic? She was pretty sure Ron would not understand and neither would Harry. They hated the man with a passion, after all. No, it was better she kept those things to herself.

“I was probably just lucky,” Hermione replied with a shrug, hoping that this would end this part of their discussion. There was no use in mulling over why Professor Snape had taken her along to the cave. He had probably tried to manipulate her again; he had done so before, after all. But she would not fall for it, not this time. Now she knew what he really thought of her and how important it was to keep her emotional distance. And suddenly she had an idea of how to do just that.

“Ron? How do you feel about going to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?” she asked with a shy smile. 

Her friend looked at her with furrowed brows. “Sure. ‘s not like we wouldn’t go together anyway, right?”

Hermione shook her head at his obliviousness. “No, I mean just you and me, Ron,” she said, focussing her eyes on his face. She hoped her mum was right and he really liked her, not just as a friend. Otherwise, this conversation would get pretty awkward now. 

“Like on a  _ date _ ?” Ron asked, his blue eyes looking at her in disbelief. 

Hermione smiled. “If you like?”

At that, Ron broke out into a wide smile. “I’d love to!”

  
  
  


  
  


__

  
  
  


  
  
  
  



	28. The art of distraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s punish Severus a bit, shall we? ;-) Because he’s been an idiot and he deserves it. 
> 
> Btw, thank you for your comments on my last chapter. They really helped me out. I am still tired, but at least I finished that chapter, which is why you’re getting a new one today. 

“Hermione? Can I carry your school bag for you?”  Ron’s voice came from behind her as she was walking down the corridor as she had just left her Arithmancy Class.  Ever since their conversation last night, Ron had been different towards her, more attentive and Hermione could not help but smile at his sudden chivalry.    
  


“Hey Ron,” she said with a wide smile on her face. He greeted  her back with a huge smile himself and then, a moment later, he took her bag from her,  causing his ears  to pinken at the cat-calls he got from Seamus or the giggles of some Hufflepuff girls behind them. “Thank you Ron,” she said, suddenly walking with a little spring in her steps. It felt good to be treated like someone special,  _ like someone cared about her _ , not just as a friend. Obviously Ron did and Hermione found herself exhilarated at the idea of being someone else's centre of attention. If her heart whispered that she wished for someone else to see her like that, she did not acknowledge it.

  
  


Sssssssss

  
  


“I could accompany you to your Quidditch tryouts,” Hermione said at lunch, smiling happily at the redhead next to her. Ron, who was just about to take a bite from his pasta, looked at her with wide eyes and flushed bright red. 

“You’d come down to the pit, watching? Me?” He asked  while  staring at her with a mixture of disbelief and happiness. “But you’ve never watched the tryouts, Hermione. You don’t even like Quidditch!”  He said with no little incredulity. 

Hermione smiled at him and shrugged. “So? You care about it and I’d really like to watch you play. I’m sure you’ll do brilliantly.”

She saw Harry watching her from the side, like she’d just grown a second head. Well, maybe she was laying it a bit thick, but if Ron could make an effort for her, she could very well do the same. And watching him play, cheering him on, sounded like a brilliant thing to do. 

“You think so?” Ron asked, the food on his plate forgotten.  Something that had never happened before.

Hermione smiled sweetly. “Absolutely! I’ve seen you playing with your brothers and Ginny for  _ years _ . You’re a brilliant keeper Ron. The others don’t stand a chance!” Okay, maybe she  should reel it in a little but who cared? Ron wanted to be supported and who else would do that if it wasn’t her or Harry? 

Ron looked at her like he’d never seen her before, a wide happy smile  blooming on his face. “You’re right!” He said motioning towards her with his fork. “I’m used to playing against Fred and George - and Bill! I’ve played Quidditch since I was five. There really isn’t anyone better for the position, is there?”

Hermione looked at her friend with a fond smile. “No, there really isn’t,” she said before taking a huge bite of pasta herself. She hadn’t been hungry at all, those last days, but suddenly she felt like she was starving. Supporting Ron felt good, she realized and the smile he had just given her was worth a bit of boredom in the afternoon. After all, she really cared about him and unlike certain others, he seemed to care for her, too. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  
  


“I did it, Mione!” Ron exclaimed, before swooping Hermione up into an embrace. “I made it into the team!”

Hermione giggled happily. “Of course you did! I told you the other’s didn’t stand a chance.” She said, enjoying the feeling of being twirled around. She could feel Harry’s and Ginny’s eyes on them but suddenly she found she did not care. Ron seemed to like her and not just because some obscure connection  _ forced him  _ to interact with her, he seemed  to be genuinely interested. 

Ron put her down with a happy smile, his eyes looking at her for a long moment before he  returned his attention to  their other friends. Hermione watched him with a fond smile for a while and listened to him relaying every Quidditch move to Harry, who answered him enthusiastically. But it was only a while until Ginny was suddenly at her side, slinging an arm around her waist. 

“So you and Ron, huh?” she asked, smiling like a Chesire cat. “Are you two dating now?”

Hermione shook her head with a smile. “Not quite. I asked him to take me to Hogsmeade though, and he accepted.” 

Ginny rolled her eyes. “Of course he did. You’re good for him, you know? Haven’t seen him this happy in a long while. Can’t wait to see how happy he’ll be, until you snogged the breath out of him.”

The redhead winked at her and Hermione found herself blushing at the thought. “You wouldn’t mind if I snogged your brother?” she whispered, but the boys were too occupied with discussing Quidditch to hear. 

Ginny snorted. “Why would I? It would make him shut up about me dating other guys, would it not?”

Hermione looked at the other girl with a smile. She did have a point. “It probably would,” she admitted with a grin. “Ginny? Would you mind showing me some stuff I could do with my hair? I feel like I’m in need of a little change.”

The youngest Weasley looked at her with an excited expression oh her face. “You really want this date to work out, don’t you?” she asked with a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, my brother will like you no matter what you do with your hair. You don’t need to feel like you have to prove something to him, alright?”

“Alright,” Hermione said, pushing the thought away that maybe it was not Ron whom she wanted to prove something to. “Yeah, maybe you’re right,” she said, feeling slightly disappointed. “It’s probably best if I just stay true to myself.”

At that, Ginny shook her head with a grin. “I never said I wouldn’t help you, Hermione. I just meant that you shouldn’t feel the need to change it  _ for a boy _ . But I’ve been waiting for a chance to do your hair  _ for years _ .”

  
  
  


Ssssssss

Something was wrong, Severus thought, staring down at the students that were streaming into the Great Hall for dinner. It did not take a spy to realize that the dynamic in the golden trio had shifted, Weasley’s attention now focussed on Miss Granger, probably in the sorry attempt to get her attention. He was clinging to her side like a desperate puppy, his watery eyes looking at her like he expected her to pet his head any moment. Twice he had seen him carry her books today and now it was the third time he stared at her with this sickening, sweet smile, that made Severus want to stab his sausage, or even better, banish it into the idiot’s face. But he couldn’t, as he could clearly feel the Headmaster’s eyes on him, watching him, like he was expecting him to make a scene –  _ which he would not. _ After all, there was no saying, that an intelligent girl like her would ever be interested in a moron like Weasley. She was probably only trying to be kind, or to not ruin their questionable friendship. Not that she could. Potter and his redheaded sidekick probably depended on her help with their homework, which would have them grovel for her forgiveness sooner or later. 

Still, Severus would keep an eye on the situation - keep an eye on her. Luckily that wouldn’t be overly difficult, at least for the rest of the week, when the girl had detention with him. The next one would be in not even one hour and Severus was determined to make good use of the time. He needed her to trust him again, no he  _ wanted _ to, because he  _ wanted _ her in his life. And he would use all his Slytherin cunning and other abilities to assure just that. 

Ssssssss

Severus had carefully cleaned his office and organized all the papers on his desk into neat piles. It wasn’t just to pass the time until Miss Granger’s detention was about to start, he wanted her to feel comfortable, well as comfortable as it was possible in the current, messed up situation. And it wasn’t like he would ever let the house-elves touch his desk or his bookshelves. 

It was exactly 7 p.m. when Miss Granger knocked at his door. Usually, she was always a bit early, even though he had never found out why, but today she was exactly on time.

“You are rather late, Miss Granger,” he said, without the usual snide in his tone  for once . 

But Miss Granger just looked at him with a calm expression before saying: “I am pretty sure I am on time, Sir.”

He looked at her in silence and for a moment he asked himself, if she had waited in front of his door for the latest possible moment to knock. It was possible,  h e realized with a growing heaviness in his belly. 

“Do come in, Miss Granger,” he finally said, deciding to divert her attention to the project at hand. “I have prepared everything we will need in my lab. Follow me.”

The girl did so without a word and when he brought her to the table where he had built up the microscope and the box containing the light crystal, she looked at the items with a neutral expression on her face. There was no saying, if she was overly interested in the project, even though he was pretty sure she was, going by her exclamations during their last discussions concerning the topic. But now, all her emotions seemed to be wiped away and for a moment he could not help asking himself, if she had practised Occlumency. 

“I thought it fitting that we continue the work on our microscope today,” he said, motioning towards a chair to invite her to sit down. “First, we need to study the properties of the light crystal, see if it can be split into smaller pieces while still remaining intact.”

The girl remained silent for a few seconds. Finally, she said: “Will you start another research journal for this project, Sir? I understand it would be most useful, to note all your observations in precise, unadorned words. It is useful for remembering all the details later on, is it not?”

For a moment, he did not know what to say. But then again he thought that this was probably her not so subtle way to start a conversation. “It surely is,” he admitted in a neutral tone. “Especially with projects where one is not sure about the outcome.” He considered his next words for a moment, then he said: "I imagine you read my old potions book very carefully, did you not?"

The girl gave a small nod in confirmation.

"In it, I carefully describe the perfect methods to produce those advanced potions. I did so by crossing things out, changing things to improve a recipe that was already considered good in other brewer's eyes." He focussed her with an almost gentle expression. "Still, all those dry facts and comments could never relay the  _ beauty _ of potion-making or the thrill of finishing a perfect potion. Those things are to be  _ felt _ and can hardly be written down."

There, he had said it. Those words were as good as an apology and Miss Granger was an intelligent woman. She surely would understand them.

For a moment the girl stared at him in silence, her eyes showing disappointment? Pity? He was not sure. Finally, she said: “I always wondered how you saw the world, Sir. Now that I know, I finally understand why you are such an  isolated, cynical  man. It is hard to not take offence when one is treated like a potion ingredient, pride and self-esteem crushed and sliced with an efficiency that is worthy of a potions master. Luckily those crystals and the microscope will not mind being treated with such precision, as they most likely don’t have any feelings you’ll be able to hurt in the process.”

Severus sighed  discreetly , the meaning of her words not lost to him. “I never meant any offence, Miss Granger. The notes in my research journal were private. Of course, I would never address you or talk to you in such an improper way, as it was done there.” 

At that, Miss Granger’s eyes were suddenly full of fire, the hands in her lap clenched to small fists. “I was not hurt by your words  _ about me _ , Sir, because that would require me caring about your opinion on my person. I never had the illusion of being particularly liked by you, as I knew you saw me as nothing else than an annoying, plain and attention-seeking Know-It-All,” she said, her voice strained with tension. “What I  _ do _ care about is you obliviating my father, whom I deeply care about, or keeping knowledge for yourself, even though this condition does affect both of us. You had no right to do either of those things, Sir, especially as you do not even seem to register how  _ hurtful  _ and offensive those actions were.”

She was right, Severus realized in dismay. Obliviating her father had been a mistake, even though he had not deleted any other memories than the ones of him using Legilimency on the man. But that, she could not know. “Neither of those things were done lightly, Miss Granger, as I intended to keep the unfortunate truth from you as long as I could. I did not want to burden you with the knowledge of being shackled to me by such an obscure condition. Therefore, I decided to take care of the situation myself and make sure that you would not be bothered by the unpleasant side-effects that are induced when being apart from each other.”

Miss Granger looked at him with a humourless smile. “Then you will be glad to hear that we are not ‘shackled to each other’ as you so kindly phrased it. The bond can be undone, Sir. All it takes is for both of us to let go,  _ to not wish to be bound to each other _ . One does not even need a ritual of some sorts, as this connection between us is based on sympathy and  _ trust. _ Yes, one needs to find a kindred spirit at first, one that is compatible with one's magic. But that alone does not result in Kindred Magic, which is the reason for this condition being so rare, I believe.”

The girl had once more taken on her lecturing tone, repeating facts that she must have gotten from a source that was still unknown to him. But when? And how? “Where did you get this information from?” he asked, his eyes staring at her with a mixture of disbelief and… something else. 

Miss Granger stared back at him with a raised eyebrow, the humourless smile still in place. “It appears I have read at least  _ one _ book, which you did not have the chance to hide from me, Sir, one book  that  _ you _ have not read ,” she said with evident satisfaction. 

Severus looked at her with a dark expression, his heart suddenly beating much faster than only a moment ago. Was it really possible to undo their connection? And would he be able to prevent it, if she really tried to do so? “I need to see that book, Miss Granger,” he said, his voice betraying none of his emotions, not even the panic that he suddenly started to feel. 

But the girl just looked at him with an unimpressed look in her eyes. “I can imagine. And I needed to see those other books, which you decided to withhold from me. I am not going to risk losing another book on Kindred Magic, Sir, because I do not trust you to give it back to me, you see?”

He wanted to snap at her, rage and demand from her to hand it  over but that would probably only further damage the fragile trust that was left in the girl. She had accompanied him into the Black Lake yesterday, which indicated that she did not totally distrust him, but would that be enough to preserve the bond between them? He did not know but he desperately needed to find out. Only that it would need patience and time to do so, as it appeared. But what if he did not have either at the moment?  How much time was there until their bond would collapse and she would be lost to him? Was there, maybe, a way to restore the bond in case it really got broken? There had to be because he simply could not lose her. He shuddered at the mere possibility.

“I see,” he croaked out, his face carefully blank. “Then it appears this part of our discussion is closed for now. Shall we proceed with your detention then?” he said, taking a new, blank notebook from his robes. “I will do some tests with the light crystal and I expect you to take detailed notes on your observations,” he said, handing the slim, green notebook over.

Miss Granger nodded, with a detached expression on her face. “As you wish, Sir.” 


	29. Afraid of losing you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys, this is what happens when you are writing such nice comments for me. Yesterday, I wrote a whole chapter! Woohoo! Which is the reason why you are also getting an update for this story today...
> 
> Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment. I am reading all of them, even though I do not have the time to answer. Your support means so much to me! So thanks for being here and supporting me along the way. 

When Hermione stumbled back into the Gryffindor Common Room some hours later, her feet were shaky and her head was throbbing. Today’s detention had been tough, not because she had found the task appointed to her in any way unpleasant, but because she felt like Professor Snape’s watchful gaze wanted to split her head open in the attempt to tear all her secrets from it.  Not that it really  _ felt _ like he was using Legillimency on her, but he  _ could _ and she totally thought him capable of doing this to her, after she had denied giving him the information he sought. She did not trust the man, not any longer, and she would be damned if she let herself be used by him again.  Hermione had done her best to occlude her mind, as there was no way in hell she would let the Professor skim through her thoughts and access the knowledge those books on Kindred Magic had provided her with. This knowledge was  _ hers _ and even though she felt like she was paying him back with the same coin, she could not find to care about it. Professor Snape had not wanted to share his knowledge with her, not even now after she had discovered his secret and even though she usually thrived to do better than those who had wronged her, it was an entirely different matter with him. 

“You look like hell,” Ron’s voice announced, as soon as she was close enough to hear. He had waited up for her again and Hermione found she enjoyed the fact, that he had cared enough for her to do so. Maybe this evening would end as badly as it started…

“Yeah,” Hermione replied, sitting down next to him on the sofa with a sigh. “I’ve had better evenings. But I don’t think I want to talk about it, right now.”

Ron looked at her for a long moment, before he carefully put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. “You don’t have to, Mione,” he said understandingly. “Everyone knows that Snape’s a bastard, especially during detentions, which means I can vividly imagine how your detention went. Only two more, Hermione, then you’ll be rid of him.”

Hermione nodded and after a moment of hesitation, she leaned her head against his shoulder. “I know. And I honestly can’t wait…” she mumbled, staring unseeingly at the fire in the fireplace. She could feel Ron’s head resting on top of hers, the feeling of it reassuring and soothing for her strained nerves. Ron understood, even though he didn’t even know all the facts but he also did not ask for them or forced her to explain. Ron was just there for her, supporting her and she was determined to do the same for him, in any way possible for her. 

“Well, Saturday is the first Hogsmead-weekend,” her friend said happily. “Maybe thinking about this will help you to get through those last two detentions. We could also visit the bookshop on Saturday if that makes you happy…” 

“You mean it?” Hermione asked, turning her head so that she could judge his expression. Ron stared down at her with a happy, reassuring smile on his face and it was, like she was seeing him for the first time.

“Sure,” he said, shrugging with an awkward smile on his lips. “I know you like it there and it’s not like we can spend all day at Honeydukes and Zonko’s.”

She acted out of an impulse, throwing her arms around him and pulling him into a stormy kiss. For a moment she felt Ron stiffen, before his arms closed around her and he repeated her kiss enthusiastically, his tongue plunging into her mouth like he owned it already. Hermione let him do it, smiling against his mouth while her heart fluttered happily in her chest.

“What was that for?” Ron asked her some minutes later, when they had ended their kiss, flushed and heavily breathing for air. Hermione did not mind, not in the least as she felt happier and more  _ alive _ then she had in months. 

She shrugged with a grin. “I just felt like I could not wait until Saturday, even though kissing you then might have been more romantic. But you just made me very happy right now, you know?”

The redhead looked at her with a smug expression on his face, his arms snaking around her and his forehead leaning against hers. “No one said you could not kiss me again on Saturday, or on the days in between now and then,” he said with a cheeky smile. “That is, if you want to…”

Hermione looked at him with an amused grin, saying: “If you keep on seducing me with books, I think I just might.”

Ron chuckled before his lips attached themselves to her mouth again. Hermione sighed happily. This evening was definitely turning out to end much more satisfactory then it had started, Hermione thought, Professor Snape and his stupid research  _ almost _ forgotten. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus rushed into the Headmaster’s office with billowing robes. He had not bothered announcing his presence beforehand, the warning the Gargoyle gave the old man being warning enough. It was an emergency, after all.

“I totally messed this up, Albus,” Severus said, falling down on the man’s cushioned chair with a dramatic sigh. “If I had only known that this bond can be  _ undone _ and that this is the l _ ast thing I want _ …” He pulled his hair, the oily strands feeling sticky in his hands. Merlin, he should really wash it more often. 

He could feel Albus watching him with calm, blue eyes, the man’s ability to read a person filling in the gaps between his words. Because Albus Dumbledore could very much read in between the lines. 

“Now, now, my boy. Try to calm down and then tell me, how exactly you messed up,” he said, a grandfatherly smile on his lips. “Because I assume you are referring to the lovely Miss Granger?”

“Of course I do,” Severus scoffed, looking at the Headmaster with a dark expression. “Whom else would I be talking about?”

Dumbledore looked at him with a small smile. “Well, you could have been referring to Horace or Draco, but I already guessed that those two would not have gotten you into such a state.”

Severus grumbled. “No, this is about her. Did you know the bond could be undone?” 

Dumbledore looked at him, the ever-present twinkle in his eyes. “I wasn’t aware, my boy. How did you stumble about that bit of information?”

Severus told him, related the whole embarrassing truth of starting a research journal and the consequences of it being found by the last person, that was supposed to see it. He told Albus about his attempts to see the girl without her being aware of it and what he did to assure this hideous plan would work. Albus listened patiently, not disturbing him once as he unburdened his heart, but bit by bit Severus saw the twinkle in his eyes disappear. And he did not like the implications of that one bit. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus could barely sleep that night, Dumbledore’s assurance of “I will think of something” not nearly enough, to set his mind at ease. Maybe it was because Severus could not imagine what Dumbledore could actually do to help him, as  _ he _ was probably the only one able to mend bridges with Miss Granger. Only did he not know  _ how _ . Yes, Albus had advised him to simply apologize to her, telling him that Miss Granger as a Gryffindor would appreciate honesty and a direct apology more than he could probably imagine. But that was easier said than done.

_ Why _ should she even consider forgiving him the things he had done and written about her, when there was nothing he could offer her in return? And why in Salazar’s name should she consider him as a potential… lover? boyfriend?... when he could barely stand his own presence or look at himself in the mirror? He’d never been handsome or overly interesting, to begin with, his intelligence the only incentive he had to offer to a potential partner. It was no surprise that the women did not exactly seek him out, but until now he had never cared, as he found the carnal desires and everything they led to quite disappointing anyway. Fucking a woman wasn’t more satisfying than a wank in the shower, he realized, and the latter came with less messy feelings and drama attached. That was at least how he had felt until he had understood, that there was indeed a woman he was interested in. Only that probably hell would freeze over, before Hermione Granger would show an interest in dating an ugly, unkempt wizard that was her Professor and almost twice her age. Fuck!

With a groan, Severus poured himself a generous amount of firewhiskey and drowned it in three big gulps. He usually wasn’t one to seek his comfort in the booze, as this had been his father’s strategy to drown his sorrows. It had often resulted in him or his mother being beaten up by the uninhibited bastard. Severus had sworn to himself, that he would never stoop so low, but the circumstances called for an exception. 

One glass later he stumbled into his bathroom and stared into the spotless mirror with a dark expression. He really was no catch, he realized, gritting his crooked teeth. Until now he hadn’t given a flying fuck about his appearance or even the state of his teeth, but faced with the possibility of losing her, his repulsive appearance suddenly irked him on, even disgusted him. He could not go on like this, not taking care of himself or the people around him. Not that he would suddenly start coddling his students, but the circumstances called for a clear cut - and he wasn’t only talking about his overgrown hair.

  
  


ssssssss

  
  


Minerva McGonagall had learned to keep a very close eye on her cubs but also on the people around her. She may not have been a Slytherin-spy, but years of teaching the Marauders and later on the Weasley twins, as well as living through a war had taught her, that paying close attention to her surroundings was a must. Therefore, it did not go unnoticed by her, when Miss Granger and Mr Weasley entered the Great Hall hand in hand, a happy smile on their faces. This was not a development she had seen beforehand, she thought, a crisp smile in place while she sipped her tea from the tartan-coloured mug, the house-elves so kindly provided for her breakfast. She did not think those two were very well suited for each other, but for now, they seemed happy enough, even though there would probably be some teenage drama in their future. But such was probably an unpreventable part of reaching adulthood, because how should those young lads know what they wanted if they did not first find out what they did not want?

Miss Granger and Mr Weasey sauntered to the Gryffindor table, the recent change of their relationship status unperceived by many. There was only a smile from young Miss Weasley and the friendly pat Mr Potter bestowed on Mr Weasley’s shoulder that showed, that they had understood and approved. Good. For the moment they all seemed happy enough, even though drama would most likely follow, soon. She had seen the same pattern too often, to believe otherwise. 

“Well Minerva, it looks like you’ll have to reorganize the schedule of your Prefect patrols again,” Severus drawled, looking at her two freshly enamoured cubs with a dark expression. “At least if you don’t want me to stumble across them in dark alcoves and broom cupboards, which would force me to take away quite a number of house points, don’t you think?”

Minerva looked at her younger colleague with a tired smile. She had known Severus since he was a shy, awkward schoolboy who had befriended one of her cubs. His fallout with Lily had without question changed him, had made him the bitter, relentless man he now was. But even though Severus did not have a kind word for anybody those days, she still had come to appreciate his snark and dry humour.

Already in his years as a Prefect, he had had a talent for sniffing out romancing students and he had only gotten better over the years. 

“It does appear like it, doesn’t it?” she said with a sigh and the man’s mouth formed a grim smile. That was, when Minerva saw it. Somehow, Severus finally seemed to have decided to fix his teeth, after he had neglected them for years. What had given him the impulse to finally do so? And had he done something to his hair? Instead of being oily it seemed fresh and clean, falling down his head in soft, black waves. The sight of it was absolutely baffling.

Years of observing and studying her younger colleague had taught Minerva that Severus Snape never did something without a reason. Was it possible that he, too, had finally found someone he wanted to impress? Minerva smiled to herself. Wouldn’t that be a curious coincidence indeed?

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  
  


Severus watched Miss Granger at mealtimes, every smile and look she bestowed on Weasley, the idiot, a stab into his heart. He could almost feel their bond weakening, strand after strand of it untangling until nothing of it was left. It was only logical that such a bond could only persist, when none of the parties had any other attachments. Now, he could suddenly see such an attachment be formed in front of his eyes and for a moment Severus thought, that fate was, once again, trying to punish him for his past sins. How else could it be explained, that only when he was finally ready to admit his romantic feelings for the girl, she suddenly decided to date the most clueless Gryffindor there was on earth, well maybe apart from the Longbottom spawn. Fate was indeed playing a cruel game with him, but Severus had submitted to its injustice once by losing Lily to Potter, the unworthy idiot, he would not do so again. 

Luckily Miss Granger had two more detentions with him, which meant that he would have at least four hours of her undivided attention. And going by the sappy looks the girl and her wannabe-lover exchanged, he better made good use of the time. If he only knew how...

  
  
  



	30. Desperate measures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, guys. Let’s see if Severus manages to fix this mess. Thank you for your ongoing support for this story. Your kind words are what makes me write faster (or write at all on my bad days…)

“Well Severus, I must say that I have rarely seen a student more talented in potions than Miss Granger - well maybe apart from you, of course,” Slughorn bragged, stuffing his mouth with mashed potatoes from the table. The day had dragged on painfully, the students getting on his strained nerves more than ever. He simply did not have the patience for old Slughorn dumping his new discoveries and potential Slug Club members on him now. “She is a muggle-born witch, did you know? But very bright and very talented.”

Severus looked at the old fart with a disdainful sneer. It was typical for him to emphasize the girl’s heritage, even though he widely advertised that he did not care about a student’s blood status. But why did he feel the need to talk about such things at every occurring chance then? It was the same scheme over and over again. He took them in, made them members of his little club only to brag about how successful they were, despite being brought up by muggles. It was truly sickening.

“She does have a certain amount of talent,” Severus said while forcing himself to take a bite of his steak. He wasn’t particularly hungry today, but he still wanted to be well nourished for the evening laying ahead of him. “But she tends to get distracted by those idiots she’s frequently trying to save from blowing themselves up.”

“I imagine you are referring to Harry Potter and his red-haired friend,” Slughorn said in a patronizing tone. “Well, I have to admit, that the boy’s strengths must lay elsewhere. But they can’t all be potioneers, can they?”

Under other circumstances that comment would have made his day, but as it was Severus could not find himself to enjoy Horace’s disappointment with the famous Harry Potter. The man would still invite him into his little club, of course, as Slughorn would not risk missing such a celebrity as him from his collection. 

“Indeed, they can not,” Severus commented, the meat in his mouth tasting like rubber. How much longer would he have to sit through this, Slughorn boasting about this and that while he had to watch Miss Granger and Weasley holding hands below the table. How much longer until he could escape this personal hell and Albus’ knowing eyes, that seemed to haunt him ever since he had spoken to him the day before?

"But Miss Granger is a true gem, I can tell you," Slughorn went on, totally oblivious to Severus' mood. "She reminds me of Lily,  _ Lily Evans  _ that is. I take it you still remember her, don't you?"

Severus closed his eyes, taking a deep, calming breath through his nose. Slughorn did not even wait for him to answer, but took a generous sip from his wine saying: "She was a Muggle-born witch, too, you know?"

In his head Severus started listing all the ingredients of Painful Death, a potion he'd love to test on old Horace right now. But there was nothing for it. The old walrus went on and  _ on _ , totally oblivious to the fact, that Severus was ready to choke him in front of Dumbledore and the rest of the fucking Great Hall. He was beyond caring, because in Azkaban it would at least be quiet and he would not have to see Miss Granger batting her eyelashes at a fucking  _ Weasley _ . Merlin, those were really desperate times and they called for desperate measures. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“I can’t believe they changed the schedule for the Prefect patrols,” Ron mumbled, staring sullenly on the plan Professor McGonagall had just handed out. She had explained that Hogwarts was now trying to advertise inter-house-friendships and therefore Prefect patrols would, from now on, consist of two persons originating from different houses. Hermione did not mind so much, even though she had looked forward to patrolling the castle hand in hand with Ron, but she had also gotten Hannah Abbot, who was a kind Hufflepuff girl, who had always been nice towards her. Ron on the other hand…

“I can’t believe I’m going to patrol the castle with the  _ ferret _ twice a week,” her redheaded friend (or was he already her boyfriend?) moaned and she did not really know how to console him. This really was bad luck.

“Well, at least you’ll be able to keep an eye on him now,” Harry murmured at Ron’s other side. “I’m still sure he’s up to something. Maybe you could slip him some Veritasserum one evening or you get a chance to look at his left arm. I tell you he took the Dark Mark.”

Hermione looked at the boys with a sigh. She did not think Malfoy would try something while being on patrols, but Harry had at least found one positive aspect to this whole situation. And indeed it seemed to cheer Ron somewhat up. 

“You’re right mate,” he said, clapping Harry’s shoulder. “I’ll keep an eye on him. And who knows? Maybe I’ll find out something. Everything could be important, right?”

“Absolutely,” Hermione agreed with an encouraging smile. But her thoughts had already started to drift to the detention, that was about to start soon.

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Hermione waited until the last possible moment to knock at Professor Snape’s door. Only two more days of detention, until she would not have to see him again, at least not if they finally found a way to undo the bond connecting them. 

“Come in,” Professor Snape said, this time refraining from commenting on her late arrival. Still, he looked at her with a weird expression on his face, not the blank mask he usually wore. 

He led her into his office and then to a wooden door leading into another room. When Hermione stared at it undecidedly for a moment he said: “We’ll be in my private quarters today, Miss Granger. What I have to discuss as better done while seated comfortably.”

His private quarters? Hermione stared at the rooms with wide eyes, but then she started walking towards the sofa that had featured in more than one of her dreams by now - and in his too - she remembered. Merlin, how was she even going to look at him now, knowing that last night he had dreamt kissing her senseless just there, his arms cradling her against his chest while his mouth mumbled words of adoration and love into her ears. But it was not real, none of those dreams were. The words Professor Snape said to her there, were probably only a result of her subconsciousness wishing for just that to happen. She closed her eyes in the hope to compose herself again, hastily reciting everything she had read about Occlumency and trying to make use of it. But it was of no use. As soon as she saw the sofa, her heartbeat stuttered and her thoughts were back in the gutter. Hermione could only pray that Professor Snape did not perform Legilimency on her just now.

“Don’t you want to sit down?” she finally heard him ask, aware of his eyes that seemed to study her with great intensity. It was better to avoid eye-contact just now, otherwise, he would surely know how she replayed the scenes from their shared dream, last night. And that would be more embarrassment than she could take.

“I think I prefer to stand,” Hermione finally stated, staring at her shoes. 

“As you wish,” the Professor replied with an audible sigh. For a moment she hoped he would still sit down, but then she heard him shuffle around in the back of the room until he was suddenly standing in front of her. 

“Here are the books I took from the library. It was wrong of me to take them in the first place and I want to give them to you now. I realize that I should have told you about our condition right in the beginning, as I now see that you would have reacted much more maturely than I had expected you to.”

Hermione glanced at his hands and after a slow blink, she started scanning the book titles. “This is not necessary, Professor. I have read all those books already. You can keep them here for all I care.” For a moment Hermione asked herself if she had gone too far, but then she realized, that she did not care. 

“I see,” Professor Snape said, his figure retreating to put the books back on the table by the window. “I would have offered you the knowledge I have gained during the last weeks, but as you have read my notes, I don’t have that to offer either.”

Hermione raised her eyes a bit so that she was now staring at the man’s chest. “You don’t have to offer me anything, Sir.”

“Nothing but an apology, you mean,” he said and again he was in front of her. “Because that you deserve, for everything that I did to you and your parents.”

Suddenly she could feel his hand below her chin, raising it gently so that she was soon forced to look at him. He looked somehow different, he realized, his dark eyes full of emotions instead of the dark, expressionless orbs they used to be. Somehow, they were pulling her in, the intensity of them taking her breath away for a few seconds. “I was a coward to not talk to you right away, a coward and a fool. But I was afraid, afraid of your reaction to the news of being connected to me.”

Hermione swallowed heavily. “I understand, Sir. You operated under the assumption that the bond is permanent and wanted to save yourself the humiliation of being connected to an awkward teenager. But you are not. As I said, the bond can be undone, if that is our wish.” She did not understand, why her chest finally felt so heavy at those words. It had never been an option for them to act on the bond and be more than just student and teacher, not with him looking down at her like that.

“No, you do  _ not _ understand,” he said, his eyes never leaving hers. “I do not have the wish to undo the bond between us, Miss Granger, not any longer.”

“You don’t?” Hermione asked, her eyes staring at him in disbelief. Was that another attempt to manipulate her? “Why? I refuse to play your test subject any longer, Sir.”

At that, a pained expression flickered across his face. “I want to keep the bond, because I am a very selfish man. Your observations yesterday were correct, Miss Granger. I am indeed a lonely man and have been for many years now.” Slowly the grip on her chin loosened and his hand let go of her. Hermione did not move though, as his eyes had somehow paralysed her and she did not mean in a physical sense. But she found, she did not know what to say and more importantly, did not want to move herself or even her eyes away from him. 

“Those last weeks have been some of the least agonizing in my life and that is due to your presence. I have come to appreciate it and I would hate to lose it now.”

For a moment Hermione thought she was back in one of her dreams, as this man in front of her simply could not be the same man who had written all those hurtful words. Was her subconsciousness playing tricks on her again? 

“I don’t think I know what you’re saying, Sir,” she whispered, her voice sounding small. 

But the Professor did not mock her for it. His face took on a kind expression as he said: “I like spending time with you, Miss Granger. I like discussing magical theories with you or brewing together in the lab. This bond exists for a reason, but I am sure you are aware of that. You and I are alike, Hermione, in many ways. Only that I took a different turn in life, which I have come to regret dearly. Still, I think we could make good friends, or research partners if that is what you prefer.”

Hermione could just stare at him, her mind still contemplating his words and the fact, that he had just addressed her by her given name. He wanted to be her friend? But that would mean he cared for her in some way, liked her even. But why did he write those hurtful things about her then? 

“Do you mean it, Sir? Because I remember you saying in your diary, that you found it tedious to spend time with me. Or are you just saying this, so I will agree to meet you from time to time to stabilize the bond?”

For a moment Professor Snape looked frustrated with her. She could see him pull his hair with a pained expression on his face. “As I said, I’ve been an  _ idiot _ . This diary has been my pitiful attempt to distance myself from you, not because I  _ disliked _ you, but because I wanted to convince myself that I did not need this, that I don’t need  _ anyone _ .”

Suddenly Hermione could see it all, the sadness in the man’s face speaking volumes. She could see his loneliness, the fear of being alone again after finally having found someone and the need to convince himself that he would be fine, if she turned him down. And suddenly she  _ understood _ . 

“But you do,” Hermione continued for him, before breaking out in a hesitant smile. “And that is alright, Professor. There is no shame in wanting the companionship of another human being.” 

Professor Snape stared back at her in silence, his eyes ghosting over her face, taking in her features as to judge what she would say next. Somehow this man was not her Professor right now, but a man who was hoping to have found someone who finally understood.

Hermione sighed. To this, she could relate, as she too had lived twelve years of her life without gaining a single friend. 

She sighed. “I think you are right, Sir. We do have many things in common and we could make good partners or even friends one day. But for that, I first need to learn to trust you again. Because right now I cannot but fear that you are just trying to manipulate me again.”

“Understandable. Trust, once lost, is hard to gain back. I have made this experience myself. I will do my best to not disappoint you,” he swore with a serious expression on his face. “How about we continue testing the light crystal we have brought back from the cave? I suggest we switch roles today, meaning I’ll be the one taking notes. Maybe this way we’ll discover something the other one of us overlooked.”

Hermione nodded. It was a good idea, also because it made her feel equal in this newly established research-partnership. “I’d like that, Sir,” she said, a hesitant smile on her face.

“You have the permission to call me by my given name, Severus, as long as it is only the two of us. Would you feel comfortable enough doing so?” her Professor asked, a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. 

She considered his offer for a moment. “I could try, Sir. But I might slip from time to time, as I am not used to calling you anything else than Professor Snape. And you should probably call me Hermione, too.”

At that, his face broke out into a happy smile, which suddenly made him look years younger. Also, his teeth looked much better, now that she thought about it.

“It would be my pleasure, Hermione,” he said, the sound of his name mouthed by his deep baritone making her shiver for a moment. Somehow it reminded her of those dreams that revisited her night after night, dreams that were shared among the both of them – a fact he was currently unaware of. Should she tell him?

Hermione considered the thought for a moment, but the thought of confessing this embarrassing detail seemed too much for at the moment. Still, she guessed he would need to know sooner or later. After all, she hated it when he had kept their condition a secret. Hermione was pretty sure that he, too, would dislike not having all the facts and she was not going to make the same mistakes that he had. She was  _ better _ than that, even though letting him know would require all her Gryffindor courage. Luckily she did not have to tell him herself. 

“Sir?” she asked, looking at him with a questioning expression. “Maybe we could postpone our research to a later date. I think I would like to show you something, instead.”

“Show me what?” Professor Snape asked, his eyebrow raised in curiosity.

Hermione smiled. “The Room I used to research Kindred Magic.”

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus stared at the girl in front of him in amazement, his eyes taking in the room, that had just appeared out of thin air. It was a small, comfortable sitting room with two cosy armchairs and a little shelf, which was nothing special  _ per se _ , if there wasn’t the little fact that the room should  _ not have been there _ . Severus knew the castle by heart, he had wandered its halls for over twenty years now but he had never come across this particular room. 

“This room is called the Room of Requirements,” Miss Granger explained, her voice almost shy. “It can morph into whatever shape is required by the one seeking it out. Last year Harry, I and a few others used it to train defence, for example.”

It was proof of the girls' growing trust in him that she told him those things and Severus would be damned if he would not honour this second chance to be freely given to him. The girl was truly a miracle and more forgiving than he could ever deserve. 

“How peculiar,” he said, carefully walking towards the shelf, scanning the books resting inside. Some of them he knew, but some of them were titles he had not heard about before. “So this is how you found all those books...” he said, carefully taking out one of the unknown volumes. 

“Yeah. I asked the room to provide me with a place, where I could find out everything about Kindred Magic, Sir,” she admitted, staring at her shoes with pink cheeks. Why did he have the feeling that she was suddenly embarrassed? There was no reason for her to be. 

“Thank you for showing me this place, Hermione,” he said in a friendly voice, using her given name on purpose. It would probably take a while for her to feel comfortable in his presence again, but hopefully, she would, with time. “Shall we sit down and read for a bit? Or do you prefer going back to my office to continue with your detention?”

At that, her cheeks reddened even more. “I think we should go back to your office, Sir,” she said, ignoring his invitation to use his given name. He did not mind... much. “I did not attempt to find a way around my detention by showing you this. And I have read all those books, by now.”

He sighed. “Very well. Let’s head back then. I can always come back later on.”

Miss Granger nodded with a smile and for a moment Severus thought that she looked relieved at the prospect of leaving the room behind. Somehow he got the impression that there was more to it then her wanting to rightfully serve her detention with him, but he guessed he would find out, with time. 

  
  
  



	31. Shared dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, guys. The next chapter is already finished. You have just motivated me so much those last days, that I could not stop writing… 😅
> 
> Btw, I am still looking for a beta for this story. The job comes with the added bonus of beng allowed to read ahead. 😉 So if anyone's up for it...

‘Shared dreams,’ Severus thought while he stared at the page in the book with growing horror. This is why Miss Granger had looked so embarrassed when showing him those unknown books. No wonder she hadn’t wanted to wait and sit at his side, while he discovered  _ that _ bit of information. Merlin’s hairy balls! As if things hadn’t already been difficult enough. The thought alone that Miss Granger, no  _ Hermione _ , had shared every one of those dreams, had  _ felt  _ every kiss and every embrace they had shared, but  _ not _ shared at the same time…

Had she been disgusted after she woke up? Afraid?  _ Aroused?  _ Had she maybe even touched herself afterwards? Morgana’s tits, he needed to stop that line of thoughts immediately and get his thoughts out of the gutter. Nothing good could come out of it. He was her fucking Professor and they had just moved on to a less awkward and strained relationship. He could not risk messing that up again. But how was he supposed to speak to her, to teach her now? Knowing that  _ she knew _ ? It was impossible and still, he had to do it, not only because it was his damned job but because he did not want to make things awkward between them again. And avoiding her now after she had shown him such an amount of trust would send the entirely wrong signal to her. 

Severus closed the book on his lap with a groan, burying his face in his hands. Somehow he had to do this, he had to face Miss Granger, watch her and the fucking Weasel hold hands, knowing that it was him she dreamed of, not that red-haired idiot. Would those dreams now slowly stop, that she was about to fall in love with somebody else? Maybe. But what if they did not? Could that be a sign that she was secretly thinking about him, too? Or would it be his fault, because  _ he _ wished there could be more between them? Would  _ she _ think it was his fault? God, he hoped not, because he was already feeling bad enough as it was, without Hermione blaming him, too. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


To say that the rest of the week was awkward would have been the understatement of the year, Hermione thought. 

It all started with another dream the night after she had shown her Professor the Room of Requirements. And strangely enough, it played out in that very room, featuring one of the armchairs she had so far only used for reading. But this time she was not reading at all, but climbing onto Severus lap, straddling him with her thighs, burying her fingers into his soft black her, while she kissed him senseless. His growing erection was grinding against her core, making her want more than she ever seemed possible. Luckily the dream ended before things got even more heated and she woke up, gasping for air and aching in all the wrong places. Once more it was like she could still feel his hands on her, cradling her against his lean body, making her feel so good, so wanted and aching for more. But no, she would not touch herself, she had not done so for a long while,  _ definitely not  _ after she had discovered that they were sharing those dreams. But knowing that he was probably awake now too, probably feeling the same ache and longing like she was made her feel strangely excited and mortified at the same time. Would he relieve himself? And if he did, would she be able to feel it through the bond if she just listened carefully enough? No, she mustn’t think about that now. It was none of her business what Professor Snape did or did not do in his bed, or in the shower or… no! She had to stop this train of thoughts immediately. 

Merlin,  _ why _ did she tell him about those dreams? Was it her damned need to show off her knowledge again? It was possible, even though she had not thought so yesterday evening. But did it even matter now? Professor Snape  _ knew _ and she would have to face him in the morning for her DADA lesson. She could only hope he would not again ask her to duel with him because that was probably more than she could take right now. 

During breakfast, she could not even glance towards the teacher’s table, glad for any form of distraction the boys so freely offered. 

“Patrolling wasn’t so bad,” Ron told them while savouring his ham and eggs. “Malfoy was mostly silent, like he was brooding over something, but he didn’t even  _ insult _ me. Isn’t that strange?”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, staring at the blonde Slytherin with a contemplative expression. “He seems different this year, don’t you think?”

Hermione shrugged. To be honest he hadn’t given Malfoy a second thought since the new school year started, even though she  _ should have _ , if Harry’s theory was right. But somehow her heart just wasn’t in it, right now. “Maybe,” she admitted, picking at her food. “He hasn’t insulted us, or talked to us, at all. Maybe he’s just finally starting to grow up.”

Harry, who was sitting across from her at the table, snorted. “Yeah, sure, and Hagrid is going to teach ballet classes from next week on,” he said in an amused tone.

“What’s ballet?” Ron asked and Hermione was thankful for the bit of distraction that explaining the concept of Muggle ballet to him offered. 

Only that the awkwardness continued as soon as Hermione entered the DADA classroom. Luckily, Professor Snape did not ask her to duel him today, choosing poor Ron instead for a partner, only to wipe the floor with him. Hermione was paired off with Harry instead and for once in her life, she felt like she was doing better in defence than him. But she guessed during her last lesson, Professor Snape had given her a head-start in non-verbal casting.

“Well, Mr Weasley,” the Professor drawled until Ron had once more gotten back on his feet, a grim expression on his face. “If you really want to make a career as an Auror one day, you’ll have to do better than  _ that _ .”

Hermione felt like rolling her eyes. If she didn’t know better one could have thought, Professor Snape was picking on Ron on purpose. But that was ridiculous. He had always used the method of intimidation and pointing out one’s mistakes to teach, and with most of them, it worked pretty well. At least Hermione thought that Ron was indeed improving. 

“Potter, your turn,” Professor Snape barked, releasing a gruff-looking Ron, who seemed completely fine except for his wounded ego. Harry stalked over to the Professor with a proud, stubborn look in his eyes, while Ron hurried towards her with a relieved look on his face.

“Merlin, now I know why you felt the need to hurt him,” he mumbled, before taking on his duelling position. “The man is an arrogant prick. I would have tried to hex him too, if I thought I’d had a chance. Then we could have been in detention together,” Ron said, casting her a shy smile.

Hermione nodded and smiled back awkwardly. Considering that Severus would probably ask her after those shared dreams today, she almost wished Ron would have done just that.

  
  


ssssssss

Severus equally dreaded and anticipated Hermione’s last detention in the evening. It wasn’t that he did not look forward to seeing her, he just did not know what to say when he did. What did one say to the woman, he was sharing highly inappropriate dreams with?  _ Should _ he even say something? Gods, this was so difficult and totally outside of his comfort zone.

The girl knocked at his door at exactly seven again, indicating that she, too, did not look forward to this meeting. He could only imagine how embarrassed she was, those dreams being probably the last thing she wanted, after having been disappointed so badly by him. Not that he was the man teenage girls fancied and dreamed about, to begin with. Still, she had let him know what was happening to them and even though he somehow wished he had no idea about those shared dreams, he was still forever grateful that she had told him. 

“Good evening, Miss Granger,” he greeted her more politely than he usually would and ushered her into his office. His private quarters maybe would not be a good choice of location today and neither would his lab, as both places were frequently featured in their dreams. “Shall we work on the light crystals today? Or is there anything else you’d like to show me… or talk about?”

“Nothing, Sir,” she said, her cheeks pinkening as soon as she raised her eyes to look at him. Good, he did not want to talk about this either, he thought. It wasn’t like any of them could  _ influence _ those embarrassing dreams anyway, therefore talking about them probably wouldn’t change a thing or only make things worse.

He looked at her with a decidedly neutral expression.“Then I guess we should start right away. Today it will be my turn to test the crystal again. I think one or two more of these sessions and we will be able to start integrating it into the microscope, don’t you think?” 

Hermione stared at the crystal on his desk contemplatively. “It is possible, Sir.”

“Severus,” he corrected her, a small smile on his face.

“Severus,” the girl repeated, a shy smile on her lips. But it did not matter. She had used his first name which meant things between them were good, right? Well, maybe they were not  _ perfect _ , yet, but they could still get there, with time. And luckily Severus Snape was a patient man. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“Mum, dad, tomorrow I am going on a date,” Hermione announced into her two-way mirror, after she had gotten back from her last detention with Professor Snape. She would not call him Severus in her head, as she did not want to risk slipping in front of the other students because _ that  _ would definitely raise awkward questions. 

“Really, Pumpkin? Pumpkin, we’re so happy for you!” her mother announced with an excited squeal and Hermione was glad she had silenced the curtains of her four-poster bed. “Whom did you ask? Is it Ron?” 

Hermione smiled. “Yeah, I asked him, like you suggested I should. You were right. He was very happy to join me.” 

Her mum beamed at her, while her father looked at her with an encouraging smile. He was never one to talk much, but his eyes said it all.

Her mum, on the other hand, could barely reign in her excitement. “I’m sure you’ll have so much fun. Just... don’t eat any onions beforehand and don’t forget to brush your teeth  _ very carefully _ .”

Hermione cringed internally, but at the same time, she could not hide her amused smile. “It’s too late for  _ that _ kind of advice, mum. I... already kissed him.” 

At that, her father started to look slightly green, whereas her mum looked, like she wanted to climb through the little mirror to pull her into an excited hug. “That’s my girl,” she cooed with a smug grin. “Sometimes it is us girls who need to take the initiative. It was the same with Dan and me. Isn’t that right, love?” 

Her dad suddenly looked, like he wanted to be anywhere but at her mum’s side, chatting about how he got hooked by the firey Emma Jankins. Not, that Hermione did not know the story already. It was one of her mum’s fondest memories.

“Sure it is,” her father mumbled and Hermione could see him petting her mum’s leg. They still seemed happy with each other, Hermione noticed with a happy feeling in her chest. 

“Well? How was it?” her mum finally asked her, an excited glimmer in her eyes. “Is he a good kisser?” 

Merlin! That wasn’t really wasn’t something she wanted to talk about with her parents, at least not with her dad, who had been suspiciously absent whenever the subject of love and ... sex was mentioned ... in an educational sense of course. Now, too, he seemed growingly uncomfortable and it was only a moment until he got up, an awkward smile on his lips. “I think I have forgotten to turn off the water in the garden,” he said and Hermione did not believe him for a second. Not that she minded him leaving, because there were some topics she rather discussed without him listening in. “I’ll just...” Hermione saw him motion towards the door in the background and a moment later he was off, much to her and her mum’s amusement. 

“Well, so much for dating advice from your dad,” her mum said, as soon as the door closed behind her. “He’d probably say something like: stay true to yourself and don’t be too nervous about the whole thing.”

Hermione thought it was a piece of rather sensible advice and not too hard to follow, as she knew Ron for many years already. 

“I thought about doing something with my hair...” Hermione admitted, gesturing at the wild mess of hair on her head. “And maybe putting on some lipstick? Or so you think that would be too much?” 

“Nah, I’m sure it will be fine. We want your boy to understand that he’s special to you, after all. Don’t we?” 

Hermione nodded with a smile. Ron was special to her, in his very own way. 

“So, back to that kiss. How was it?” her mum whispered conspiratorially. Not that anyone would have heard her, as her dad was probably as far away as he could get in their house. 

“Uhm, well... It was nice, I guess. Ron was very enthusiastic, you know?” she admitted with a blush. “I mean, it  _ was  _ exciting and everything but maybe we just need to practise a bit more.” 

Her mum laughed. “I’m sure tomorrow you’ll get the chance to do just that. And don’t worry, there’s no right or wrong way to kiss, there’s no perfect technique or something like that. Just do what you enjoy and you’ll be fine...”

“Alright, thanks mum,” Hermione said with a small smile on her face.  _ Do what feels right _ , maybe wasn't very concrete advice but it sounded sensible enough. And going by the number of kisses she and Professor Snape traded in their dreams, one should think that she  _ had done a fair amount of practising already _ , if only in her mind. Only that those kisses felt a hundred times more natural than her fumblings with Ron, but they were only a dream and those could rarely compare to reality. 

Hermione sighed. She probably just needed to practise more and get used to the feeling of Ron’s tongue and the  _ wetness _ of it and things would start getting more enjoyable. And maybe those dreams would then finally stop.


	32. The date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, here it comes. Brace yourself! But let’s give Ron and Hermione their moment, shall we? I know you’re here for something else (me too), but once in my life, I wanted to write a short Ronmione. And that’s it. After that, I have done my duty and can move on to other things. Hahaha.
> 
> Btw, I finally found a beta for my story and I’m so happy about it! Thank you @justsare for making this story better! I am sure it’s not only me appreciating your hard work. 

Saturday, in the end, came faster than Hermione could have imagined and even though Hermione missed breakfast because Ginny kept fussing over her hair she could not really find herself caring. She would see Ron soon enough and Hogsmeade offered plenty of possibilities to grab a bite. And Hermione was pretty sure that Ron would get hungry again sooner rather than later. 

Finally it was ten and Hermione strolled down into the big entrance hall where Ron already waited for her. Harry was indeed nowhere to be seen and for a moment she asked herself if he would go to Hogsmeade alone today and if she should feel guilty about it. 

“Hello Mione,” Ron greeted her with an almost shy smile on his lips. “Erm, you look great.”

Her heart made a tiny pleased flutter at his compliment. Looks like her lessons with Ginny already paid off. “Thanks, Ron. Should we go?” Hermione looked around and unsurprisingly they seemed to be among the first ones to leave the castle. Most of the students rather used the Saturdays to sleep in and head to Hogsmeade for lunch. 

“Sure,” Ron said and offered her his hand. Hermione took it with a happy smile. They had been holding hands now a few times, mostly during mealtimes when they sat next to each other. Hermione had come to enjoy this sweet, innocent proof of his affection for her. It was something they could do in public without getting scolded for it and therefore it was a good way to show the world, that Hermione Granger indeed had a boyfriend - or something coming close to that. It wasn’t official just yet, well at least they hadn’t really spoken of it, just … snogged a bit. Did this mean they were together now? Huh, she didn’t know, but she decided that this was something they would talk about today. 

The walk into the village was beautiful; the last days of summer leaving the air warm enough to just head down in a T-shirt and jeans. It wouldn’t be long until temperatures dropped again and Hermione was determined to make the most of the day and the weather.

“Where should we head first?” Hermione asked while gently pressing Ron’s hand that was still holding hers. His hand was much bigger than hers and there were quite a few calluses on his palm, probably from his Quidditch training. She did not mind though as the feeling of his rough skin just made her feel protected, in a way she could not explain. 

Ron looked at her with a happy grin. “Maybe Zonko’s first? Later on, the shop’s always crowded, same for Honeydukes. Afterwards, we could grab a bite. Somewhere there’s supposed to be some sort of café, that seems to be quite popular for dates. What do you think?”

She looked at him with a disbelieving smile. “You want to take me to Madame Puddifoot’s? Really? Don’t you think it will be a bit too…”

“Nah, I’m sure it will be fine,” Ron answered with a shrug. “Can’t be so bad when they all go there, can it?”

Hermione smiled. “I guess we’re about to find out.”

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus _hated_ Hogsmeade patrols with a passion. Usually, Saturdays were the days where he could finally have some time to himself, reading, researching, sleeping, but whenever those hordes of idiots decided to roam the village now, he would have to be on patrol, because the Dark Lord would just be waiting for a chance to strike. Why Dumbledore did not cancel those useless little outings under the given circumstances was totally beyond him.

Instead of keeping the students safe behind Hogwarts’ walls, the Headmaster let them roam free, while the whole fucking Order was ordered to watch after them like they did not need a damned break too, from time to time. Severus knew _he_ definitely needed a break and a good night of sleep that wasn’t interrupted by him waking up with a fucking boner that just _did not want to go away_. It was like he was a seventeen-year-old again, wanking away in the shower in the hopes of finally getting his raging hormones under control. But it was a futile attempt. 

Luckily he had gotten the first shift, which meant that most of those teenage idiots would still be in the castle and there was less for him to do. Sometimes he had half an hour of blissful silence before the first students arrived, leaving him with enough time to stroll through the village, sipping coffee, but not today. He had barely reached his post, as he could see the first students stroll down the path to the village and it did not take long for him to recognize who it was. Good gods, Weasley was taking Hermione on a date and going by the content smile on her face and their entwined hands, she was enjoying herself. 

Severus tried not to look too close and instead forced himself to check the surroundings to make sure they would not be attacked on their little romantic outing. But whenever he wasn’t paying attention, he felt his eyes shift back towards her, taking in her petite figure, her smile and her hair, which she had somehow tamed into soft curls. He had only once seen her do it, at the Yule Ball, and the realization that _Weasley_ was the one she was doing it again for, made him want to choke the red-headed fool with his bare hands. Why did she have to fall for the most unworthy fool there was at Hogwarts? This was Lily all over again, Severus realized, wanting to pull out his hair in frustration. How could such intelligent women _not realize_ what a stupid choice they had made?

Severus watched the two lovebirds as they made their way to Zonko’s, where they stayed for exactly 25 minutes and 20 seconds. Through the window he could see Hermione look around the shop in fake interest, a wide smile plastered on her face, while her fingers kept thrumming on whatever surface she found. Just when the two of them entered Honeydukes, the next students arrived and left him with less time to… guard Miss Granger and Mr Weasley, but at least she seemed to have bought something this time, when they left the shop 16 minutes and 30 seconds later. That’s when they entered fucking Madame Puddifoot’s. Of all the places to go, Weasley just had to pick the most unimaginative destination for a date… this absolutely sealed it. The boy was an unworthy idiot. If he just had a way to let Hermione realize it, without shredding the little trust they had just built up!

  
  


Ssssssss

Hermione saw Ron eyeing the pink and golden decorations in disgust and it took all her self-control to not snort into her cup of tea. She could tell he hated it here, hated drinking tea out of tiny cups that did not hold more than a few sips. The over-sweetened biscuits probably held some appeal for him, but by the look of it, they did not help to make him feel much better.

Hermione could not blame him. This place was ridiculous and the girlish giggles coming from the table behind her made her want to get up and run. But she could not do that, right? Because it surely would insult Ron, if she bolted from the place he had chosen for them.

“Errr, how’re your parents?” Ron asked after a while, an awkward smile on his face. She saw him eyeing the table behind her and really, he just had finished his sentence as another fit of giggles erupted behind her. Dear god... How was she supposed to concentrate on talking to him if she felt like they were permanently watched?

“Good,” Hermione said, plastering a smile on her face. “They settled in pretty quickly and I even think they like it, where they are now. Not sure if I’ll ever be able to convince them to move back. Not when wizarding transportation allows me to visit them within the blink of an eye.”

Ron nodded understandingly. “Yeah, apparition and port keys are pretty brilliant, once you got used to the feeling of it. The ride to Egypt was pretty rough. Think I was sick for a whole day afterwards.”

Hermione smiled understandingly. “Yeah. But I’ve been told side-along apparition is much worse than doing it yourself. Can’t wait to learn apparating myself.”

Her words were followed by another fit of giggles from behind her and she saw Ron eying the two girls behind her with an annoyed expression on his face. “Hermione? Could we… would you mind if…”

He mumbled, his face slowly rising in colour.

Hermione smiled. “You mean if we can get out of here?” she asked, a hopeful smile on her face.

“Yeah,” Ron said, awkwardly scratching his neck. “It’s just…” It was obvious that he did not know what to say. But he did not have to, as she was sure she pretty much felt the same. 

“This here… this isn’t really us, is it?” she supplied helpfully and saw Ron nod in relief. 

“Not really, no,” he said, with a small smile. “You really don’t mind? We can also stay a while longer, if it makes you happy.”

Hermione shook her head with a laugh. “No thanks. I think I’ve had enough. Let’s pay and get out of here. This place is...” 

“Awful?” Ron said, an awkward smile on his lips. 

Hermione nodded. “I wouldn’t have said it like that, but yeah... pretty much.” 

It was only five minutes later that they stumbled out of Madame Puddifoot’s café arm in arm, vowing to never enter that horrible place again.

“Merlin, have you seen the decorations in the ceiling?” Ron asked her, his voice a disbelieving laugh. “It’s worse than Lockhart on Valentine's day.” 

Hermione giggled next to him. “It is beyond me how other girls can like that place. Even the food was horrible.” 

Ron snorted. “And fucking expensive. And I’m not even nearly full enough to enter the bookshop, yet.” 

She giggled. It almost sounded like facing more than ten books was something Ron did not want to do on an empty stomach, which was ridiculous, of course. It was probably just that Ron could not do _anything_ on an empty stomach, which was so totally him, that it was almost cute...almost. 

Ssssssss

This day was getting worse and worse, Severus thought two hours later. He had been right, Hermione and her boyfriend did not make it for ten minutes in the ridiculous café, but when they came out, they were snorting and giggling with laughter. It was wrong! She wasn’t supposed to react like that and she definitely wasn’t supposed to cling to his arm and laugh at his jokes, which were surely far from funny. But she did and with sinking heart Severus watched her accompany Weasley, the lucky fool, into the Three Broomsticks and later on into the bookshop. What did the moron even want there? It wasn’t like he would ever look into a book, if he wasn’t absolutely forced to...

While carefully patrolling the area around, because that was what he was doing, he saw the redhead fidget and look at several books without much enthusiasm. When Severus passed the store the next time, ten minutes later, the boy was even carrying some books for the girl with an idiotic smile plastered on his face – like he would ever enjoy doing such a thing. It was _absolutely ridiculous_ . But going by the blissful smile on Miss Granger’s face she was falling for it, chattering to the oblivious boy like he was able to understand a word she said – which he surely _didn’t,_ as Severus could not see him say very much in return.

When Severus passed the bookstore for a third time, about 28 minutes after they had entered, he saw the two of them exit it again. Weasley had made it in there for 28 minutes, he should have been impressed. Miss Granger surely was, going by the enthusiasm with which she clung to the boy’s arm. Severus snorted. He had been book shopping with her for fucking _two hours_ , a feat that Mr Weasley was far from achieving. In direct comparison to him the boy didn’t stand a chance – theoretically speaking. Maybe he should take the girl to Diagon Alley once more, just as a friendly outing of course. It had to be enough to make her realize her mistake, right? Because considering their momentary situation there wasn’t much _else_ he could do.

By the look of it Miss Granger and the idiot decided on a stroll through the village. There wasn’t anything to say against that, well, apart from the fact that a Death Eater could lurk behind every fucking corner. Severus sighed. He guessed he’d have to follow them, because there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d let something happen to his bond-mate.

“Ah, Severus!” the loud voice of Horace Slughorn greeted him from across the street. The fucking walrus was using his patrol time for some additional shopping, going by the bags that obediently floated after him. “Always on duty, always on duty...” he commented, looking him up and down like he was hoping to find some shopping bags with him, too, that could excuse his unacceptable behaviour. Of course, the old fart would find none, as Severus knew his duty.

“I’m only doing what the Headmaster asked of us,” Severus replied coldly, his eyes inconspicuously tracking the two teenagers on their way towards the less frequented part of the village.

“Yes, yes. Of course,” Slughorn assured him, a smile spreading on his face. “I’ll join you in a moment. But there’s this nice little wine shop around the corner and I really need to stock up my collection. I need some more bottles for the next Slug Club meeting - I plan on holding one in a few days. And we wouldn’t want the students disappointed by this little outing, would we?” The man laughed pompously. “I’ll join you afterwards. Most of the students are in the Three Broomsticks anyway and Hagrid was happy to keep watch there.” Slughorn chuckled good-naturedly and Severus had to do his utmost to not sneer at him. Hadn’t this idiot been on the run for months? How could it be that he was so careless now? 

“See that you do,” Severus said before he turned into the direction that Miss Granger and the Weasley-idiot had taken a moment ago. “You know what trouble those students can get themselves into.”

“Right, right,” the other man mumbled, before dashing off towards the wine store. One could almost think that he had not heard a word of what Severus had been saying. Idiot. 

  
  


Ssssssss

“How about we sit down here and talk for a bit?” Hermione asked after they had aimlessly wandered around in Hogsmeade for about fifteen minutes. Now, they had reached the edge of the village and Hermione looked at a beautiful meadow that was lying ahead of them. 

“Yeah, why not?” Ron said, looking around before pointing towards a nice spot. It was shaded by a large tree and once Hermione had conjured a nice picnic blanket for them, it was the perfect place for sitting down. Hermione lowered herself on the blanket and Ron sat down next to her, taking her hand into his a moment later. Hermione looked at him with a happy smile. Ron was suddenly so kind and suddenly he was so attentive with her. 

"Ron? I wondered if…” Hermione started, as she felt the question could suddenly not wait any longer. She wanted to know, no _needed_ to know, what kind of label she could put onto… this. “Are we… I mean… can I call you my boyfriend now? Or is this just… I mean… are we just trying things out?”

The redhead looked at her with a hesitant smile. “Dunno. Would you like to be? My girlfriend I mean. It’s okay if you don’t…”

Hermione chuckled. “Look at us. We’re both too hesitant to say it, aren’t we? Yes, I’d love to be your girlfriend, Ron. You’re kind and brave and we’ve known each other for years,” she said, enjoying the happy smile she brought onto his face. _‘With you I know what I’m getting myself into,’_ she added in her head. _‘With you I’ll be safe, and to get hurt.’_

“Brilliant!” Ron exclaimed, before pulling her into a high-spirited kiss. Hermione welcomed his mouth readily and kissed him back enthusiastically. They were really doing this, she realized when she felt his tongue enter her mouth and his arms close around her. It felt good, she thought, and grabbed the front of his T-shirt, her tongue exploring her boyfriend’s mouth on her own. Doing that felt… exciting... and suddenly she was glad for her mum’s hint to brush her teeth carefully. Because as it looked they wouldn’t stop kissing each other anytime soon - and Hermione was absolutely fine with that. Because that’s what you were supposed to be doing with your boyfriend, right?

“


	33. White magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go guys. Here’s the next chapter for you. It will take your mind off that horrible date, I hope.   
> Thank you again to Justsare for betaing this chapter. I really appreciate it!

By the time Severus found Miss Granger and the redhead snogging under a cherry tree at the edge of the village, Severus had thought the day could not get any worse. Seeing them like this was like being stabbed in the chest, repeatedly, and all he could do was stumble backwards and transform himself into his animagus form, as soon as he was out of their line of sight. Someone still had to watch those randy teenagers that had sauntered so far away from where it was safe, after all. Not that he  _ wanted _ to witness Miss Granger’s face being almost licked off by an over-enthusiastic and clearly inexperienced Weasley. The sight alone was enough to put him off of his food for the rest of the day. The girl did not seem to mind though, at least not enough to pull away, even though she seemed much more hesitant about this than her wannabe boyfriend. It couldn’t be for the lack of experience, for Mr Weasley obviously had  _ none _ . 

Severus picked a hiding spot within the trees of the edge of the forest. From here he would not be seen, not even by Miss Granger, who was aware of his animagus form. It wouldn’t do for her to witness him lurking around, while she made her first real experiences with… boys. He turned his head away, so that he was just aware of them from the corner of his eyes. Therefore he would be aware if there was any danger to her without having to witness any details. Because what he had seen was enough to make his heart clench in… annoyance? Angst? Jealously? He wasn’t even sure  _ what _ it was, that he was feeling. But did it even matter? Miss Granger was  _ his _ , she was connected to him by their magic for Salazar’s sake! She wasn’t supposed to snog some stupid Gryffindor idiot on a crappy date and let him lick her face like a  _ goddamn dog _ ! It wasn’t  _ supposed _ to be like this, Severus realized, and he could have sworn that he felt his magic confirm this new train of thought. He was pretty damn sure that Kindred Magic was meant to be two persons together,  _ exclusively _ , meaning that there was no room for a third, unwelcome intruder. But what was he supposed to do about it? The girl still wasn’t of age and even then she would still be his student. But he could not endure this torture for another two years and he was pretty sure that their bond wouldn’t withstand such a hardship either. 

It must have been almost an hour before the two teenagers finally decided to head back towards the castle and Severus decided to follow them in his bird form, at some distance. By now, it was early afternoon and the village should have been brimming with children. Strangely enough, there were only a few trailing the streets now and then. Luckily the end of his shift had approached now too and therefore it was without having a bad conscience that he flew back to the castle, as he did not feel much like walking back in his thick robes. He could still watch Miss Granger’s way back from a window sill and would be able to see any approaching attackers long before they would be able to reach his bond-mate. And if one of his former Death Eater comrades tried, he would rip them to pieces. 

He had barely landed on the windowsill of his current DADA classroom though, as a house-elf appeared next to him, wringing his hands while focussing him with a nervous expression in his saucer-like eyes. 

“Headmaster Dumbledore asks Professor Snape to join him at the hospital wing immediately,” the creature squeaked and for a moment a detached part of his brain asked how the elf had been able to recognise him in his animagus form. He definitely was not able to answer the house-elf like that, not that he needed to. The message had been transmitted and that was all the little servant was expected to do. 

He stared at the house-elf with his black eyes, before his beak started to peck onto the glass of the window. Luckily the batty-eared creature understood and opened it for him, so that he could fly inside and transform back without being spotted by a nosy colleague or student. 

“I will head to the hospital wing right away,” he announced and turned towards the door, his black robe billowing behind him. He wondered who had gotten himself into trouble now. It couldn’t have been Miss Granger, as he had watched over her the whole time. And the knowledge that this was not about her, made him feel better, no matter what new problem lay ahead of him.

  
  


Ssssssss

Hermione and Ron had barely stumbled through the Fat Lady’s portrait hole, when Professor McGonagall came to find them. Her face was grave and Hermione knew immediately that something must have happened, something bad.

“Professor?” she asked, looking at her Head of the House with wide, worried eyes.

“Miss Granger, Mr Weasley, are you alright?” she asked, her eyes looking them up and down. 

“Sure,” Ron asked with a puzzled expression on her face. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

At that, Professor McGonagall’s face took on a sorrowful expression. “There has been an attack, you see? An attack on Mr Potter.”

Somehow it was like the rug under her feet had been pulled away. This was like the Triwizard Tournament again. “Harry? What happened? Is he hurt?” 

The older woman sighed. “We do not know exactly. He is currently unconscious and at the hospital wing. Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape are there, examining him.”

Hermione nodded, the heavy feeling in her chest growing. “Can we go and see him?”

“In a bit. I will tell a house-elf to fetch you, as soon as the Headmaster and Professor Snape are finished,” Minerva McGonagall replied, unable to hide the worry in her voice. This sounded bad, really bad. If Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape were there to see him, then this didn’t sound like Harry just had a bleeding nose from a quarrel with Malfoy. Up to now, Madam Pomfrey had usually been able to patch them up on her own. What had happened to Harry, that she now couldn’t? 

  
  


ssssssss

“Well Severus, do you agree with my assessment of the situation?” Albus asked him, his blue eyes focussing Severus with a scrutinizing gaze. 

Severus sighed, rubbing his temples in the hope to drive away the headache that threatened to form just there. It was of no use. This wasn’t good, far from it actually. 

“He’s been attacked with the killing curse,” he said, his voice flat, even though he could feel the panic that was building up inside him. “The residual energy from the curse is lingering in his body, attacking him. Still, the boy should be dead, but I guess Mister Potter has a history of surviving life-threatening situations.”

Albus did not even smile at his comment. Why would he? This situation was indeed grave. “Have you seen anything suspicious, Severus? You were on patrol duty, after all. I know you cannot have seen the attack itself, as I know you would have tried to protect Lily’s son, but they must have hidden somewhere, waiting for the right moment to strike.”

That was the thing. Severus had been so focussed on protecting his bond-made, that he had not been much more helpful than old Slughorn. The realization that his behaviour had almost cost Lily’s son his life, made his stomach drop with guilt. It would also be his fault if the boy died from the curses’ leftover energy that still flooded his body. “I haven’t seen anybody,” Severus confessed without admitting the fact that he had not really seen much else other than Miss Granger and Mr Weasley. “I’m sorry, Albus. Who found the boy?”

“Strangely enough that was Draco Malfoy,” Albus replied, his blue eyes seeking out his, probably to judge his reaction. “Do you think it possible that your godson was the one trying to kill him? Could it be his attempt to get back into Tom’s graces and save his family from his anger?”

Severus considered the Headmaster’s words. It was possible, even though he was inclined to believe that the boy did not have it in him to kill another human being in cold blood. But who knew what pressure Voldemort or maybe his aunt Bella put on him? Maybe if he had been desperate enough?

“I do not know Albus, but I guess it would be possible. Do you want me to fetch the boy and interrogate him?” 

At that, Albus shook his head. “No. I need you to stay here and try to help Harry. I know there is not exactly a cure against the Killing Curse, as it is not  _ meant to be cured _ but… I can not help but hope that you still have the means to help him, that is... you and Miss Granger.”

Severus looked at him with a puzzled expression. “What do you expect us to do? This case is totally unprecedented and I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

Dumbledore looked at him with a small smile. “I think calling the girl in question into the infirmary wouldn’t be a bad start, don’t you think?”

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“Miss Granger, the Headmaster asks you into the hospital wing,” the squeaky voice of Squirmy, the house-elf, had announced, only minutes after Professor McGonagall had informed her and Ron about the situation. 

“What about me?” Ron had asked, but the little servant had adamantly shaken its over-sized head. 

“Only Miss Granger is asked to come,” the little male announced, his chest puffed proudly. “Squeaky is tasked to take her there himself and without delay. The Headmaster sounded very urgent, Miss.”

Hermione looked at her boyfriend with an apologetic gaze, before hastily jumping to her feet. “I am ready to leave right away, Squeaky. Will you be so kind as to apparate me?” 

The elf nodded determinedly and as soon as Hermione had taken his little hand, they were gone, Ron’s confused and disappointed eyes following her until she disappeared.

When Hermione reappeared at the hospital wing a moment later, the Headmaster and Professor Snape were already waiting for her at Harry’s bed. Her friend had been moved into a private room, which could only mean that things were bad or at least ... complicated.

“Harry…” she whispered, staring down at her friend’s lifeless form in dismay. Only then she remembered the Professor’s presence and how rude it was not to greet them first.

“Headmaster Dumbledore, Professor Snape,” she said, unable to hide the emotion in her voice. 

“What happened to Harry? What’s wrong with him?”

She saw the men trade a look at her question and a moment later she saw the Headmaster nod.

“He’s been attacked with the Killing Curse,” Severus explained to her with a sigh. 

Hermione’s eyes went wide. “Someone tried to kill him? Who? How? And will he… is he…” She felt panic gripping her, her eyes trailing from the two men to her friend on the bed. Professor Dumbledore looked at her with sympathy and she could slowly feel him walking closer towards her. 

“That, we do not know, Miss Granger. We do know that your friend is not dead, which is a miracle in itself. Still, the residual energy from the curse remains in his body and it is slowly but steadily attacking him. We do not know how much it will be able to harm him.”

Hermione looked at the man with a pleading expression, but he just returned her look with a sad smile. Finally, her eyes shifted to Severus, who still sat next to Harry’s bed, his eyes dark, unfathomable orbs while he held back ramrod straight. “Is there nothing we can do?” she asked into the room, not sure which of the two men she was addressing. Both of them were known to have the answers and they wouldn’t have called for her to come here  _ alone _ , if it was just for her to say goodbye. That did not make any sense.

“There is no known potion that could help your friend,” Professor Snape said calmly, while he focussed her with a steady expression. “As I earlier told the Headmaster this case is unprecedented, as the victims of the curse are usually killed right away.”

She nodded her understanding, even though her mind refused to accept the possibility of Harry dying here, with her standing next to him, unable to help. “But you do have an idea, am I right, Sir?” she asked, her eyes focussing on the Headmaster this time. 

Professor Dumbledore stroked his beard, while his eyes studied her with a calm, almost calculative expression. “I might, even though I cannot say if it’s any good. Tell me, Miss Granger, how much do you know about White Magic?”

Hermione looked at the man with wide eyes, her mind frantically searching for all information she had read on the topic. It wasn’t much, she realized in dismay. “White magic is usually associated with healing or protective magic,” she said, looking at the Headmaster for confirmation. “It is a very pure form of magic though and therefore almost impossible to use.”

Headmaster Dumbledore nodded with a pleased look on his face. “Exactly, Miss Granger. It is also the absolute opposite of Dark Magic and both forms of magic are stated to neutralize each other. White Magic was what enabled Harry to survive the killing curse as a one-year-old, his mother’s wish to sacrifice her life for his protecting him from a curse that is known to kill its victim without delay and mercy.”

Hermione nodded. Harry had told her about the protection his mother had bestowed on him. She just had not been aware that it had been White Magic. “So you think one could counter the curse with White Magic? Is that what you’ll be trying to do, Sir?”

At that, the old wizard looked at her with a kind but sad smile. “Unfortunately it takes a pure and unblemished soul to cast it, Miss Granger, which is the reason why I find myself unable to do so. You and Severus on the other hand… I believe you have read the books on Kindred Magic, Miss Granger. You know that your connection is of the purest kind.”

Suddenly, Hermione’s eyes widened in understanding. Of course, this is why he had asked for her. “What are you suggesting, Sir? What do you need me to do?”

The man’s blue eyes looked at her steadily, while his mouth formed a sad smile. “Kindred Spirits are only known to work White Magic on their bond partner,” he started and Hermione became aware of Professor Snape’s eyes that had come to rest on her, too. “You would probably be able to protect each other from the Killing Curse, if your bond was strong enough, but that would still not help poor Harry.” He smiled sadly. “There might be a way to transfer the residual energy from the curse to another person though.”

Professor Snape’s reaction was immediate. “Absolutely not,” he growled, suddenly rising from his chair. “I refuse to risk her life for one of your… experiments. This is madness, Albus!” 

“It is,” the Headmaster agreed with a nod. “But it’s the only idea I have, Severus. Do you have another suggestion on how to save young Mr Potter?”

The younger man remained silent, while he stared at Professor Dumbledore with a hard expression. “I have not,” he finally said, his eyes trailing over the boy on the bed. “But if I have to make a decision on whose life is more important to me…”

"I understand, my boy," Professor Dumbledore replied, seemingly unfazed by the other man's words. "It is your decision Severus, Miss Granger. I can not blame not wanting to risk your life for the mere possibility of achieving a positive result, especially if we could not even be sure if your bond would be strong enough to protect each other from such vile magic."

Professor Snape looked at him with a growl. "I know what you're doing, old man, and it's not working," he said, staring at the Headmaster with a cold expression. “Get out. I’d like to talk to Miss Granger alone.”

Hermione looked at Severus in surprise and confusion, but the Headmaster did not object and bowed his head towards her Professor. “As you wish, Severus. I am going to wait for you outside and make sure that you are not disturbed.”

She watched Severus look at the man with a dark expression, before the Headmaster retreated from the room a moment later. Suddenly it was just them and Harry - and Hermione could not help but wonder what the Professor had to say to her. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  



	34. Confessions made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to have mercy with you and give you another chapter, even though I have not finished writing another one. But don’t get your hopes up. There’s another cliffy at the end of this one. So you might consider waiting…
> 
> Tell me what you think! I am eagerly awaiting your comments!
> 
> Also a big thank you @justsare for proof-reading this chapter. You're the best!

Severus could not help but feel trapped in this whole situation and it was a feeling he did not like at all. He could see Dumbledore’s insane plan clearly now, even if the man had not done much more than hinting towards it. But he had witnessed the old goat’s manipulations for years, and understood what he had been doing. It was what Albus had been doing with him for years now, never giving concrete orders and rarely asking him to do anything at all. It was always a helpful suggestion here or a brilliant but somewhat reckless idea there, inspiring him to draw the right conclusions himself. It often resulted in him making the necessary decisions without the man’s input, decisions that were often accompanied by hefty sacrifices he had to make. Severus had endured this tactic for years despite being aware of Albus’ manipulations. For years he had not cared, as he had the opinion that there was nothing left for him to lose after Lily’s death. But now that he had Miss Granger, or at least  _ hoped _ he’d have her one day, he realized how wrong he had been.

Today it was the same, only that this time Albus’ scheming was directed towards her - his bond mate. And Severus would not allow her to be manipulated like this. 

“What was it you wanted to talk to me about, Professor?” he heard the girl ask, her voice sounding small and confused. He could only imagine how lost she felt, facing the threat of losing one of her best friends forever. She was still so young, so pure, and had not faced a loss such as this in her life.

“The Headmaster wants you to sacrifice yourself for Mr Potter,” he said, without sugarcoating the truth. “He hopes that the bond will save you, but there is no saying if that would truly work. But in Dumbledore’s great scheme, in which we are all mere chess pieces, Harry Potter is the king and you are merely the queen. He would risk your life in the hope of still winning the game.”

Maybe those words were too harsh, but Severus thought she needed to hear them. She needed to have all the facts, to make an educated decision. 

Miss Granger looked at him with wide eyes, but he could see he was considering his words very carefully. 

“It sounds like you do not have a very high opinion of the Headmaster, Sir,” she said, her caramel brown eyes staring at him as if she tried to read him and judge his intention. She still did not trust him, Severus realized, and he could not blame her. 

Severus sighed. “I have served Albus Dumbledore for years, Hermione,” he said, giving his voice a gentle and understanding tone. “I have faced losses and endured torture under the man’s watch and the only consolation I got was that it was done for “the Greater Good”. Do not misunderstand me. Headmaster Dumbledore was the one making sure Lord Voldemort did not reach his goal, he was the man making the plans and pulling the strings. And he did so masterfully,  very much like a muggle General.”

The girl stared at him with a thoughtful expression. “Do you think that is what he does? Treating people like troops, like canon fader, instead of seeing the fate of every person? Do you think that’s what he’s doing here -  _ with me _ ?” She had not spoken those last two words aloud, but Severus had still been able to hear them somehow. 

She looked almost sick at the thought, but her gaze did not waver. Her eyes took on a sad and almost pleading expression. “But I can’t just let Harry  _ die _ , when there’s something that could save him,” she said, her voice sounding small and lost. And for that moment he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and comfort her. But he was not sure if she would even allow it. Probably not. Still, his fingers ached to touch her, to hold her and never let her go again. Because the prospect of losing her, of sacrificing her for someone that did not mean nearly as much to him, was more than he could take.

“I do understand, Hermione. I once had a friend I would have done anything for,” he confessed, his heart thundering because of the confession he was going to make. “I… lost her,” he said, his eyes trailing to the boy lying unmoving on the bed in front of them. “She gave her life to save her son, Hermione, and losing her almost ripped me apart. I can not stand to lose you too, not after I just found you.”

“Your friend was Lily Potter,” the girl breathed, her voice full of wonder and disbelief. 

"Indeed," Severus confessed, his heart heavy with sorrow and fear of losing her, too. “We met before we both entered Hogwarts. I was the one who told her she was a witch. She was my first and only friend.”

Miss Granger did not speak for a long while, but her eyes said everything her voice did not. She pitied him, Severus realized and even though that meant the girl felt  _ something _ for him, he did not like the feeling at all. 

“I am sorry you lost her,” the girl said and suddenly he felt her hand softly touching his arm. “I can't imagine how hard it must have been… well I  _ can _ , considering…" Her eyes drifted towards the unconscious boy on the bed. 

For a moment Severus allowed himself to close his eyes and relish in the feeling of her touch. 

“But you do understand it too, Severus, you’ve said it just now. You would have done anything for your friend,  _ for Lily _ . Therefore you surely understand that I would do the same for her son.”

Of course, he understood, he understood only  _ too well _ . He was pulling the short straw again and he would be once more abandoned for a Potter. He took a deep, steadying breath. No, he would  _ not  _ give up so easily this time. He would _ not  _ be abandoned again, not if there was a way to prevent it. 

“The bond will not be strong enough to heal this, Hermione. The Headmaster is insane if he thinks this could work. You barely trust me any longer, which is  _ understandable _ given the circumstances. And I…” he did not finish the sentence aloud. She did not need to know that he had watched her snogging another man for most of the day and that the memory of it was ripping him apart. It was almost like he could feel the bond unravelling below his fingers, unable to do anything to stop this. 

“I  _ do _ trust you, Professor - Severus. I always knew you would protect me and all the other students from the school, I never doubted that for a second. It is just that I was hurt by what you did and said, because I always wanted you to like me, and to want to spend time with me, not because you  _ had  _ to,” she said and her voice was so full of emotions, that he just had to open his eyes and look at her. Her eyes were huge and he could see the tears building behind them, threatening to spill over and run down her cheeks. But she held them in and plastered a brave smile on her face. Gods, he could have had it all, could have had  _ her _ , if he had not been such a  _ fucking idiot _ . If he’d just told her he liked her from the very beginning, she would not have dated Weasley the idiot and the three of them would have been in Hogsmeade together and he would have carefully watched all three of them. History was indeed repeating itself, considering it would be his fault again, that one of his friends sacrificed herself for Harry  _ bloody _ Potter - Lily’s son or not, this just wasn’t  _ fair _ .

“I do like you, Hermione, I already told you so, but I guess I was never very good with words,” he said smiling crookedly and before he knew what he was doing, he pulled her against him, closing his arms around her back to pull her into a tight embrace. “And see where that brought us. I swear I’ll spend as much time with you as you want, because there’s nothing else I’d rather do. I could take you book-shopping to Diagon Alley or, in your holidays, we could visit the magical section of the British Museum. There’s so much I’d love to show you, teach you,” he mumbled, burying his nose in her hair. “Please Hermione, you don’t have to do this.”

To his surprise, she did not pull away but melted into his embrace, her face burying itself in his robes. It felt so natural to hold her like this - so right - that he was almost sure she’d be able to feel this too. They belonged to each other, not just their mind and their magic, their bodies too.

“I know I don’t,” Hermione mumbled after they had stayed like this for a while, her small hands gripping his robe at his chest. “But apart from the fact that I could never again face myself in the mirror if I just stood back and did  _ nothing _ , Harry is the one who can vanquish You-Know-Who, Severus. There is a prophecy about him, you know? We heard it when we went to the Department of Mysteries last year.”

Severus closed his eyes in despair, her use of his given name tugging on his heart strings as much as the question that followed. Of course he knew of the fucking prophecy, it had been what had started this whole misery. And here it was again, coming to bite him in the arse…

He sighed heavily, while his hand carefully gripped one of Hermione’s curls, testing the feeling of them between his long fingers. He at least wanted to do this once, before…

“Very well,” he said, before abruptly letting go of her. “I see you are determined to save your friend, no matter what.” 

His wand was in his hand a moment later, the spell to cast a Patronus leaving his lips, while his eyes remained focussed on her. That was why he only realized some moments later that the ghostly animal waiting in front of him was no longer a doe, it was a  _ lioness _ . 

Severus stared at it in silence for a long moment, his heart shuddering as he understood the implications of this change. But finally he cleared his throat and said: “Headmaster, you can come back in. Miss Granger and I have finished our discussion.”

The proud animal stalked away momentarily, a thin trail of mist following it as it disappeared through the wall. 

It was only a moment until the door opened, the Headmaster walking in more quickly than one would think possible at his age. Severus did not give him or Miss Granger the chance to say a word, the decision in his mind unchangeably made.

“I will do it,” he said, staring at the man that also somehow had become a kind of father to him, with an unwavering gaze. “I am going to absorb the curse in Mr Potter’s body, Albus. Don’t try to change my mind in this. This is the only solution you’ll get, because I’ll not let you use Miss Granger as a pawn sacrifice.”

“Very well,” the Headmaster replied, while he heard Hermione behind him gasp. Obviously she had just caught on to the fact that he had never planned to let her die. 

“No Professor, you can’t,” she whispered, her voice pleading, and Severus could not help but wonder if she at least felt part of the agony he had felt with facing the possibility of seeing her die. 

“I can and I will,” Severus said, before slipping off his black robe and throwing it onto the next chair. “But you can try to stop me from dying through that curse, if you wish to try working a miracle.”

He looked at her with a crooked smile that was hopefully at least partly disguising the heartbreak that he felt. He was not doing this for Lily, or Harry, not even for Hermione. He was doing this for himself, as life without her would be no life at all. And therefore sacrificing himself was probably the most selfish thing he could do, given the circumstances. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Hermione stared at the scene unfolding in front of her in horror. Until now she had somehow still felt she was in control of things, even though the situation had been dire and somewhat hopeless. But she had known a way out, had known what she could do to help, even though it would have probably cost her life. Only it suddenly wasn’t  _ her _ life on the line any longer, but Professor Snape’s. This simply couldn’t be happening!

The man had been Dumbledore’s spy for almost two decades! He was an incredibly powerful wizard, one that could really be an asset to the Order. And still it looked like Dumbledore would just let the man die, without even trying to change his mind. Why?

But then again, what was he  _ supposed to do _ ?

Like in slow motion Hermione watched Professor Snape walk towards the sick bed, now only clad in a crisp white shirt and black trousers. He pulled a chair close and sat down on it, looking first at her, then at the Headmaster, while she seemed frozen in place. 

“Promise me you’ll watch out for the girl, Albus, I want your word on it,” she heard Severus say and just when the Headmaster gave his promise to do just that, her legs finally started to move. Without caring about how it might seem, she dashed towards Severus' side, closing her arms around his upper body, pinning his arms in place. 

“Please Professor. Tell me what I can do, how I can save you…” she pleaded, the tears welling up in her eyes. But the man just looked at her with a calm but reassuring smile. 

“This I do not know,” he admitted, ignoring the Headmaster’s or Harry’s presence in the room. “But if you could hold my hand while the energy is transferred to me, I would very much appreciate it.”

Hermione nodded, slowly releasing his chest, before carefully taking his left hand into hers. She could feel Professor Dumbledore’s eyes on her - on  _ them _ \- but she did not find it in her to care. She would stay at Severus’ side, no matter what, and she would not let him die, she could not, because suddenly she realized that her life would never be the same without him. She wanted those hours of friendship and companionship he had promised her and  _ other things _ she did not dare to think about right now. Hermione wanted Severus at her side and she would not let something as mundane as death take him from her. 

“Of course, Sir,” she mumbled, gripping his hand tightly. “I’ll stay right here, don’t worry.”

“Good. Now brace yourself.” 

Hermione did not have the chance to say something else, as an unknown spell left his wand a moment later. For a moment there was a blue light that seemed to connect Harry’s and Severus’ bodies. It was gone a moment after, the body next to her going limp and keeling forward until it landed on the bed with a muffled thud. Hermione watched it happen in shock, her mind only registering briefly that a moment later Harry opened his eyes on the bed. But to her it did not matter, as her world had just broken apart.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	35. With or without you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys. This update is not a planned one. This is me having mercy with you. BUT ... now you will have to wait a bit longer for the next update because new stuff needs to be written first. So it might take a few days until the next chapter will be up.
> 
> Thank you again to my amazing Beta Justsare and to my sounding board StepahnieMRV.

“Severus!” Hermione shouted, staring at the limp figure next to her in panic. This couldn’t be, this _ couldn’t be _ , she thought, her mind repeating those same words over and over again like a mantra. 

Somehow her whole world had narrowed down to him and just him; the people around her forgotten. The only important thing right now was his hand, which was limp but still warm within hers. She would not let it go, she mustn’t. She had promised it to him, after all.

Hermione was only marginally aware of her name being called, not reacting to it, at all. Then there was a shuffle of movement around her and after a while, she could feel Severus being lifted into the bed in front of her. She allowed it but did not let go of his hand, even though it probably would have been more practical if she had. Hermione did not care, as she could feel an inexpressible sadness swallowing her up and pulling her down. What was she supposed to do now? Was there even something she could do or would she witness Severus’ slow death with her being unable to do a thing for him? No, this could not happen. She would not allow it. 

Severus Snape was her Kindred Spirit, the man destiny had appointed to her. She would not let him go, she would find a way to save him and work the miracle her friend had been asking for. 

Ssssssss

Albus looked at the girl at Severus’ side with a sad smile, before he carefully levitated Harry out of the room. The boy was waking up, but Albus was pretty sure he still wasn’t fully aware of what was happening around him. Good. He would give Miss Granger and Severus all the privacy they needed, because if there was somebody able to save his…  _ friend _ , then it was this girl. But it would be a close call.

Still, what he saw let him hope that the girl truly cared about Severus and his boy did not deserve any less. 

“Professor Dumbledore, what happened?” he heard Harry ask him groggily from the bed he had settled him in. The boy was back to the public ward, which would make it possible for him to receive visitors, as soon as Albus had found out what had happened to him. 

“Harry, my boy. How are you feeling?” he found himself asking, focussing his most kind smile and his whole attention on the boy in the bed. 

The teenager looked at him with a tired smile. “Horrible, like I was run over by the Knight Bus or something.”

Albus smiled at the boy’s comparison. “I can imagine. Somebody attempted to murder you, after all. Do you remember who attacked you, Harry? Or anything else for that matter?”

Harry looked at him with a shocked expression, before his gaze turned contemplative. “The last thing I remember was going to Hogsmeade. I was alone because… well, Ron took Hermione on a date, which is fine. I am happy for them.”

Well, this was indeed unfortunate news, but he’d deal with that information and the eventual fall-out later. For now he patiently waited for the boy to continue his story.

“I followed Malfoy, because, well... he has behaved somewhat suspiciously this year,” Harry continued, his forehead  wrinkled in concentration . “I wanted to keep an eye on him, Sir, just in case he was meeting someone or planning something. But he disappeared around a corner and a moment later I was attacked from behind. I didn’t see who did it, though.”

Albus nodded seriously. “That is unfortunate. Someone tried to kill you, Harry, and he almost succeeded. Do you remember hearing the person speaking the curse? Or was it done silently?”

“I don’t know, Sir. I don’t think I heard anything, to be honest,” Mr Potter confessed, his face taking on a lost expression. The boy was probably still in shock. Maybe he would remember later.

Albus sighed. He was slowly starting to get too old for this. “Very well. Then I will let you rest now. I will come and visit you again in the morning.”

The boy nodded, even though Albus could tell he still had plenty of questions. But those had to wait. He had to call a staff meeting and inform his Professors about the attack. Later, at dinner, he would have to make an announcement in the Great Hall. That was something he did not look forward to.

Hopefully, Severus would get better under Miss Granger’s care. He could not help but feel that he would terribly miss the other man otherwise. Over the years he had gotten used to Severus’ wit and his insightful perspective. 

Later that evening Albus crept back into the private room he had provided for his former spy and his bond mate. Already from the door he could see the girl had fallen asleep, resting her head on his Professor’s unconscious form. But what really caught his eye was that both of them had started glowing in a strange bluish light, a thing Albus had never seen before in his life. What kind of magic was that? Was this how it looked when a Kindred Spirit healed one's bond partner? He did not know what else it could be.

A wave of his wand and some analytical spells confirmed his suspicions. Yes, there was definitely something happening there, what exactly he could not say as this form of magic seemed completely raw and unrefined to him. But it did not matter, because Severus Snape was definitely improving. Compared to before, when his body was even more vigorously attacked by the curse than Harry had been, things had looked... bad. Now it suddenly seemed like there was a good chance of the man recovering. It was a miracle, but then again it was not. Albus had always known what a powerful force White Magic was, if one knew how to use it. For many years this form of Magic seemed lost to him, but suddenly things seemed to look up for their side of the war. With Miss Granger and Severus suddenly being able to use this rare form of magic, they now suddenly had a way of defeating Tom. He just needed a way to bring those two even closer together and then teach them what to do with their newly-awakened powers.

Ssssssss

Severus felt warm and cosy when he slowly drifted back into consciousness. For a moment he wondered if he had finally bitten the bullet and ended his pitiful existence, but a moment later he became aware of the feeling of one small hand cradled into his and a scent in his nose he knew only too well. Hermione! And suddenly the memory of what had transpired in the hospital wing came rushing back to him. Merlin!

She was still there, Hermione had not left him. Instead, she had kept her promise and stayed at his side. But more importantly: she had  _ done _ it. She had pulled him back from death’s door. This wonderful, brilliant, kind witch!

Before he felt the desire to open his eyes, his hand twitched in the attempt to hold Hermione’s hand even tighter. It seemed enough to alert the girl, as her hand immediately reacted to his touch, her voice whispering:

“Severus?” 

Her voice was somewhat slurry, indicating that she had not been fully awake herself, but it was also so full of hope and other raw emotions, that it made his heart ache.

Severus opened his eyes and squinted them against the darkness of the room. Obviously it was night, but he could see Hermione’s delicate form hover over him, studying his face with huge, concerned eyes. 

“Severus! You’re awake!  Thank god! I was so worried! I thought I’d lost you!” she whispered, one of her hands gently touching his forehead. “I am so  _ so _ sorry to have put you into this impossible situation. I had no idea but the thought of losing you… forever… please forgive me.”

He looked at her with a soft look in his dark eyes. “We were both thrown into an impossible situation, Hermione. There is nothing for me to forgive. Just… don’t do this again.” 

“ I swear it. Are you in pain? Shall I call for Madame Pomfrey?” she asked, her voice sounding panicked and excited at the same time. 

He could not help the dazed smile forming at his lips. “ ‘m fine,” he mumbled, his eyes focussing on her, taking her in. “You fixed me, Hermione. Your presence here is all I need, right now. Don’t want that old hag fussing over me and shooing you away.”

It was the most unguarded he’d ever been with her and he attributed it to the fact that he had just escaped death. Propriety be damned, he wanted her to know that he wanted her here, that he cared about her. 

Hermione looked at him scoldingly. “Madame Pomfrey is not an old hag, she’s always very kind. But, well, I guess she would tell me to go, now that you’re awake.” The girl smiled shyly. “And I’d rather stay a bit longer.” 

“Good,” Severus mumbled, pressing her hand softly. 

For a while they fell silent, Hermione watching him attentively. He wasn’t sure if she was afraid to disturb him, or just uncomfortable talking to him after what had happened and he decided to find out. “How long have I been out?” he asked, his voice still sounding raw with sleep. 

“A few hours,” she replied seriously. “It’s probably only a bit longer until breakfast.” 

He nodded. Good, at least he hadn’t been unconscious for days. That would have fuelled the students’ gossip mill. “I guess I’ll have to skip breakfast then,” he said, a rueful smile on his lips. “I don’t imagine Madame Pomfrey will let me loose on the students today. Pity. Would have taught your class today, but then again I don’t see you going to classes today, either.” 

Hermione smiled back at him. “Yeah. I feel terribly drained, to be honest. Whatever I did to heal you must have drained my magic pretty thoroughly. Do you think the Headmaster will excuse me from classes today?” 

He could not help but snort at her obliviousness. “He’d excuse you for the rest of the year for what you did. Apart from that, there’s probably not much you haven’t taught yourself by now, anyway.” 

The girl looked at him in disbelief. “You really think so? You think I could skip the whole year?” 

Severus replied with a chuckle. “If you wanted to? You’d be ready to take your NEWTs in a few months if you wished to do so. But knowing you, that is not what you want to do. You enjoy studying way too much for that, which is fine. Just do not stress yourself if it takes you a few days to recover, all right?” 

Hermione did not question him. She just smiled. “All right.”

Ssssssss

She must have fallen asleep again, Hermione realized, because when she became aware of her surroundings again, it was already daylight outside. Her head was resting on Severus’ bed again, her hand still laying in his, their fingers entwined. 

For a moment she simply stared at their hands, taking in the strange sight. Holding him like this felt right in a way that it should not. Severus was still her Professor, which should have made things awkward. Only that they weren’t. Was it the consequence of being bonded to him, the knowledge that they were in a strange way “meant to be”? It sounded totally cliché when she put it like that. 

“Good morning,” Severus’ voice pulled her out of her musings and she lifted her head with a smile. 

“Good morning, Professor,” she mumbled, studying the man’s face. He looked better than a few hours ago, Hermione realised in relief, his face looking less waxy and almost back to its normal colour. 

“Are you back to calling me Professor now?” he asked, his mouth twitching in amusement. “Well then I should probably also go back to calling you Miss Granger,” he said, his voice imitating the tone he wore during their lessons. She could not help but chuckle at how ridiculous that suddenly sounded, considering that she had just spent the night at his bedside, holding his hand. He was right, they were definitely more than just Professor and student now. Only... she could not say exactly  _ what _ they were. 

“Better not,” she answered with a smile. “Otherwise I shall feel inclined to wave my hand again, before I dare to address you. And I don’t see you appreciating  _ that _ .”

Severus chuckled. “I wouldn’t. So better call me Severus then.” 

Hermione planned on giving him an answer, but their moment was disturbed when the door opened and Professor Dumbledore strode inside with a wide smile on his face.

“Ah, I see you are awake. Excellent!” he said, his blue eyes looking at them with a happy twinkle. “Miss Granger, I must congratulate you. You did what Severus deemed impossible only hours ago, which is saying you worked a miracle.”

Hermione heard Severus grumble something unintelligible, but she himself looked at the Headmaster with a small smile. “Thank you, Sir. I was glad I could help, even though I would have appreciated being told your plan and the associated risks directly. I do not like being manipulated, Sir, nobody does. And most of us would still help, even after having all the facts.”

“ I understand, my dear, and I appreciate your willingness to save your friend. Not everyone would have been so selfless, you’re being too modest  here , my dear,” Professor Dumbledore said, while looking at her with a kind smile. “How are you feeling?”    
  


“Tired,” Hermione replied truthfully,  letting go of the man’s other comment . 

At that, Severus rolled his eyes. “She’s drained her magical core, Albus. She’ll need at least a full day of rest and a few good meals. See that she gets it. Maybe she should also move back to her private room, for the time being. I can imagine Miss Granger is still too tired for being questioned by a horde of over-excited Gryffindors. What did you tell them, by the way?”

At that Professor Dumbledore looked at them with a serious expression. “That Mr Potter was attacked and seriously wounded by an unknown wizard while visiting Hogsmeade. I also mentioned that you are currently working on a cure for him and therefore will not be available for quite some while. I cannot say the students were disappointed, that I will in the meantime substitute for you.”

“You’ll be teaching DADA today, Sir?” Hermione asked, suddenly feeling disappointed that she could not attend the lesson. Professor Dumbledore would surely teach them so many amazing things! 

At that, she saw Severus roll his eyes dramatically. “And here I thought you liked having me as your Professor.”

**  
  
**

Ssssssss

When Hermione entered the Great Hall after having not been seen for over a day, agitated whispers erupted in the room. Severus, too, was back at his place at the teacher’s table, even though it had taken some convincing for Poppy to let him go. But considering the circumstances Severus felt  _ fine _ , definitely good enough to join meals in the Great Hall and see Hermione again. Because yesterday she had not come visiting him again. 

Severus clearly felt her absence from his side, felt the old longing to be close to her - a longing that a shared meal in the Great Hall would not be able to fulfill. The pull he suddenly felt towards her was even stronger than what he had felt at the beginning of their magic forging this connection. He realized that this probably meant that their bond had strengthened again. And even though that meant they would have to see each other more regularly again, he could not help but feel thrilled at the prospect of spending more time with the girl. The only problem was how they should explain this fact to anyone other than Dumbledore, as people would surely wonder. He would have to discuss the problem with the Headmaster, because he did not want to run into problems when they were discovered. The last thing he wanted was somebody assuming they had a torrid affair and therefore ruin the girl’s reputation. 

Hermione had barely made an appearance at the Gryffindor table, as her two male friends jumped from their seats, attempting to pull her in their arms. She permitted it, but Severus could see her stiffen nonetheless, especially as Weasley tried touching her. As the red-head tried approaching her, Severus could feel an unpleasant tingle through the bond and going by the grimace on Hermione’s face she had felt it, too. It appeared that now with their bond strengthened, her magic started rejecting every contact it deemed hurtful to their connection. Severus did not know if he should feel delighted or panicked on the prospect of the girl feeling discomfort when facing her boyfriend. He definitely felt sorry for her, as this would make things incredibly difficult, especially as he could not see Weasley taking her rejection well. But on the other hand he was pretty sure the boy would not be a problem for him any longer and Severus could not help but feel smug about it. 

****  
  



	36. Keeping up appearances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys. Here is your next chapter. I have a distinct feeling that you’ll enjoy it. Tell me, if I was right.
> 
> Thanks to StephanieMRV for her helpful input and to Justsare for improving my English! You’re the best!

It did not take long until the Headmaster came to visit him and for once Severus was actually glad to see the old man. Ever since he had woken up and Hermione was gone from his room, Severus had started to ponder over what he had seen, no  _ felt _ , the short moment his and Potter’s magic connected. Severus had had too much experience with Dark Magic to not realize what happened to the boy, what was desperately trying to keep him alive. Because the energy from the killing curse should have killed him within mere minutes. The answer to that question was complicated - and not in a good way.

“The boy is a Horcrux, Albus,” Severus said without repeating the man’s greeting. He did not have the nerve for polite conversation right now.

The Headmaster did not even seem shocked, just resigned, when he slowly walked over to his sickbed, sitting down next to it with a tired expression on his face. “I feared as much, even though until now I did not have direct evidence to support my theory.

Severus growled. “Would you have told me? Or would you just have kept it to yourself, like you tend to do with most things, these days?”

Albus looked at him tiredly. “I did not want to worry you unnecessarily. I am aware that the boy is Lily’s son and that you hold some affection for him, because of that. But I would have told you, eventually.”

_ ‘Probably at the latest possible moment _ ,’ Severus thought sarcastically. “Do you already have a plan for how to get rid of it? You don’t plan on killing the boy off, do you?”

“Only if there is no other way for us. But with the connection between you and Miss Granger, we might not have to. White magic is a powerful tool, Severus. You would be dead if it wasn’t for Miss Granger’s determination to keep you alive. Once you learn how to use your connection, you might be able to do so much good with it.”

Severus felt sick at the man’s words. “I am not going to  _ use _ that connection, Albus, I am not going to use  _ her _ . She is the best thing that has happened to me in my life and I will not compromise that. To hell with Potter! He is just the shadow of a person long gone, one that did not even  _ like _ me in the end. Hermione is alive and she cares about me, more than anybody ever has. I will not lose her,” he said, adding silently: ‘Even if that means never telling her that I would like her to be more than my friend.’

Albus looked at him with a calm expression, like Severus’ words weren’t bothering him in the least. “Of course, my boy. But what about Miss Granger? Will she feel the same way?”

Severus wanted to jump from his bed, to hit the man’s crooked nose or at least to scream at him. But that would mean showing the man that he had found a weak spot - which he wouldn’t. “She might or might not,” Severus said cryptically, schooling his face into an expressionless mask. “To find out about that, you would have to tell her about the Horcruxes and I would not disclose such information to a school girl that is unable to occlude her mind and therefore protect such an important secret.”

Albus nodded slowly, his thin fingers stroking his long beard. “I know,” he said, his blue eyes staring calculatingly but unseeingly into the room. “Luckily there is no pressure for making that decision anytime soon. Not with all those other Horcruxes still around.”

Severus nodded. The Headmaster did have a point. Still, he would be on the watch, because with Albus Dumbledore one could never be sure they were not being manipulated… again.

  
  


sssssssss

Hermione did not know what was happening, but ever since she returned from the hospital wing, things with Ron were… different. She was happy to see him, as happy as she had been the day before - she thought. But as soon as the boy touched her, it just felt  _ wrong _ . It took all her restraint to not flinch back from his touch and she suffered through the long hug he greeted her with, while putting on a happy face and patting his back awkwardly. Luckily nobody seemed to realize something was amiss, not even Ron himself.

Hermione, on the other hand, had a very good idea what had happened, as she had read her fair share of books on Kindred Magic now. Her heart to heart with Severus and their shared experience of saving Harry from dying had made their bond stronger, but also exclusive. Merlin!

Also, the old longing for her bond-mate was back, the tug in her chest that signalled her she needed to see him. Unfortunately, her next DADA lesson was about three days away and Hermione wasn’t even sure if Severus would be back to teaching by then. But waiting such a long time before being able to see him again seemed totally unacceptable if not impossible. Just thinking about the possibility of not being able to properly see Severus for such a long time, made her break out in anxiety. She wanted to see him, to talk to him and she was pretty sure it wasn’t just because the bond forced her to. She genuinely looked forward to continuing their project of building the first magical microscope and the idea of sitting in his quarters, discussing magical theory made her feel like there was nothing else she’d rather do. Only she couldn’t…

“Professor Dumbledore told us you had to help Snape brew several potions for Harry,” Ron murmured, his voice full of sympathy for her. “He said the git asked for your assistance, as you obviously got used to his methods during your last detentions. You really do have some rotten luck, Mione.”

Hermione answered by making an unintelligible sound and a nod. It wasn’t like she could tell them she had spent the night at Severus’ bedside,  _ holding his hand _ . Considering what the boys knew and thought of the man, that would probably only sound absurd and she could easily imagine their reaction. It wasn’t anything she wanted to experience.

“But it seems like I once again have to thank Hermione for saving my sorry arse,” Harry said, grinning crookedly. “Dumbledore said someone cast a Killing Curse on me...”

Hermione nodded with a sigh. “Yeah. Strangely enough that did not kill you, at least not right away. But it would have, eventually. Do you have any idea why you... why it didn’t work?”

Harry looked at her with furrowed brows. “I... not really, no. I mean, I’d like to experience a year when nobody tries to kill me, for once. Until now they haven’t been very successful, have they?”

She could not help but roll her eyes. “Yeah, but there was always a  _ reason _ for it, Harry. The protection from your mum is gone and it also cannot have been the twin cores from yours and You-Know-Who’s wand. I mean, somebody would have noticed, if  _ he _ walked through Hogsmeade. Apart from that, you were attacked from behind and didn’t even fight back.”

Ron nodded thoughtfully, even though he seemed somewhat in a bad mood. “Well, maybe Harry was just lucky, Mione. Does it even matter now?”

“ _ Of course _ it matters , Ron,” she said passionately. “What if this unknown person tries again and finds a way to succeed next time? I don’t see them just giving up, do you?”

The redhead grumbled silently, but Harry looked at her with a considering gaze. “What if it was Malfoy and he just mucked it up? I mean, to successfully cast this Unforgivable one has to mean it, right? What if he just couldn’t do it?”

It was a possibility, Hermione thought, nodding towards her black-haired friend. “Maybe,” she said, before looking at Ron. “We should definitely keep an eye on him. Don’t you have patrols with him today, Ron?”

“Yeah,” her boyfriend replied, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Then you’ll maybe notice if he behaves differently. I guess talking about Harry being attacked and studying his reaction to that would be a bit too obvious,” she added, the boys nodding in agreement .

“Probably,” Ron said, before taking her hand into his possessively. “I’d rather spend the evening with you, you know?” he mumbled, looking at her and then away, as though trying to judge Harry’s reaction towards his words. But Harry just stared into the fire, decisively ignoring the both of them.

“I know,” Hermione said, smiling at him. “But you know what? I could take a look at your potions essay while you’re gone and... I was thinking...” she chewed her bottom lip, considering what else she could do that would make him happy and not act against the bond she had with Severus. “You know I bought those two-way mirrors to communicate with my parents. I’d like to take them to your Quidditch match on Saturday. They said they’d really like to see you playing.”

“Really?” Ron asked, his bad mood seemingly forgotten. “Brilliant! I’ll show them all my best moves, then!”

Hermione nodded encouragingly. “Do that. My dad had so many questions about Quidditch and I couldn’t really answer them to his satisfaction. You could talk to him after the game, if you like...”

Ron beamed at her proudly. “I’d love to,” he said, pressing a quick kiss onto her cheek. “I’m sure we’ll get on splendidly. Anyway, I think I need to go. We wouldn’t want to leave the ferret waiting.”

Harry snorted, while Hermione just smiled at her boyfriend. She couldn’t really say she was sorry to see him go, she realized in dismay. Merlin, why had she been so eager to declare him her boyfriend? It wasn’t really like they had many things in common. But she couldn’t just break things off now, not after a day... How should she explain her sudden change of heart? She wouldn’t drag Severus into this mess, especially as their bond wasn’t  _ really  _ the reason things between her and Ron could not work out. A few days ago she had thought liking each other and trusting each other would be enough for starting a relationship, but she wasn’t so sure now. Even if Ron was willing to be dragged into a bookstore and she could stomach sitting through his Quidditch games, would they really like to discuss those things afterwards? Would Ron ever enjoy discussing magical theory or history with her? Probably not... But it wasn’t like they could spend all their free time kissing or doing  _ other things _ . Because even after doing the former for quite some time yesterday it had still felt kind of… awkward. And Hermione was sure that it wasn’t just because their technique was still somewhat lacking and Ron had managed to bite her tongue while being overly enthusiastic. 

They would have to talk to each other at  _ some point _ but apart from saving Harry and fighting You-Know-Who they didn’t have so many common interests, if she was honest. So what were they actually going to talk about? 

Ssssssss

Hermione decided to retire early after combing through Ron’s essay and leaving it for him with Harry. Her head had slowly started to ache and she knew it wasn’t because of Ron’s sloppy work but the fact that she had not seen Severus for the whole day. She would somehow have to make it through the night, she thought, just as she suddenly became aware of a black raven sitting on the dorm’s windowsill, staring at her approaching figure with black, expectant eyes. There was no doubt of who that raven was, especially as their bond gave a pleased hum when she approached him.

Hermione hastily walked to the window and opened it, the raven entering her dorm with a confident flap of his wings. Hermione saw him landing on her bedpost and for a moment Hermione asked herself how Severus had been able to tell which bed was hers. But then she noticed the huge stack of books on her nightstand and remembered that he had been to the room before, making the question void. 

She wanted to ask him what he was doing here, but then she saw that he held a letter in his beak. Hermione took it from him with a small smile and a nod, before slowly sitting down on her bed and opening it. There wasn’t just a sheet of parchment inside, but also a familiar black bracelet, the same one she had worn when accompanying him into the black lake. 

Hermione looked at Severus with her eyebrow raised questioningly at him, but his only answer was a clicking of his beak while adamantly staring at the letter. Right. With nervous fingers she unfolded it and started to read. 

_ Hermione,  _

_ This is the only way I’ll be able to see you privately right now, as Minerva would probably kill me if I gave you another round of detentions. The Headmaster has approved of it, knowing that I will stick to your side and avoid those other girls like a plague. Through the bracelet we’ll at least be able to communicate and talk about all those interesting books you’ll provide for our shared time come tomorrow. I’ll be happy to discuss all of them with you, if you wish to do so. _

_ Now burn that letter and slip on that damned bracelet, girl. I’d rather discuss things in person with you. _

_ SS _

Hermione looked at the animagus with an amused expression on her face, casting a silent  _ Incendio _ on the letter before tossing the remains out of the window. Then she slipped on Severus’ bracelet and climbed into her bed, patting the blanket next to her.

_ “Come in here,” _ she invited him mentally.  _ “It might not exactly be proper, but I’d rather not have the others question me, why I am staring at a raven for god knows how long. Because I will not talk to you while pretending to ignore you. That’s just rude.” _

Hermione heard the older man snort in her mind, but he did as she asked. 

_ “Not that I would have cared, _ ” he replied, traipsing across her blanket. _ “But I guess this is more comfortable, if we want to read together. You’ll have to turn the pages, though.”  _

Hermione smiled, grabbing the book on warding techniques from her nightstand, before pulling her curtains shut.  _ “I’m currently trying to figure out how to cast some basic and slightly advanced wards. Pity Hogwarts does not offer classes on that sort of thing,”  _ she mumbled, opening the book in front of her. 

_ “I could teach you,” _ her friend offered, sounding genuine.  _ “It is not so difficult. I did all the warding of my office myself. _ ” 

Hermione looked at him with wide, excited eyes.  _ “You would do that? Really?” _

Severus inclined his head. _ “I would. The spells I would have to teach you without being transformed though, but we will find a way to do that. In the worst case you’ll have to provoke me into giving you detention again.” _

_ “Absolutely not,” _ she said, looking at him with a scandalized expression. That’s when she saw the smug look in his raven eyes and realized that he had been teasing her. She huffed and before she knew what she was doing, she tossed her pillow towards him, making him dodge it with an amused raven cackle. 

It was almost like they were already friends, for months or even  _ years _ , with him teasing her like that. Hermione realised that she came to like this new way he treated her. Severus was right, they would make good friends if they allowed it. And there was no logical reason for her not to, considering how much she already enjoyed spending time with him. 

  
  


Ssssssss

The week progressed without too much excitement, Severus dividing his time between classes, keeping an eye on his godson, and spending his evenings with Hermione  _ in her bed _ . He made it a matter of course to stay inside of her bed-curtains until she assured him that no other girls were around, so that she could help him leave the room without anyone noticing a thing. Because even though he secretly snuck into a girls’ dorm night by night, he did so for the most harmless of reasons -  _ to read _ \- and not to look at things he had  _ no wish to see _ . 

Hermione had accepted him into her life and her bed without making a fuss, eagerly providing book after book he recommended for her from the library. Most of them he had not read himself and so he made it a habit to sit next to her on her pillow, staring into the book while she turned the pages for them. Sometimes they did not speak much at all, reading in companionable silence while at other times they animatedly discussed the topics from the books. It was like behind those curtains they were really friends now, with Hermione treating him like he was an equal and not the grumpy Professor she was respectfully but dispassionately talking to, during their DADA lessons. Severus was careful to treat her the same as he had before, in class. He did not ask her to duel him again and usually paired her off with Potter, taking Weasley’s  _ education _ into his own hands. He was careful not to hurt the boy, but more often than not he made a show of humiliating him, a bit. Severus just could not help it, but seeing the boy scramble for his wand or picking himself up from the floor was just too satisfying to watch. Apart from that Mr Weasley was a bad choice for an Auror and if he really attempted to become one, it would only be a matter of time until the reckless redhead got himself killed. But going by the boy’s clenched jaw and the fire in his eyes, he was still too stubborn to realize that. 

“Don’t take it too personally, Ron,” he heard Hermione soothe the agitated redhead, after another lesson on Friday was over. “Your shields are already much stronger and maybe next week…”

“Stuff it, Hermione,” the boy scowled at her. “While you had  _ fun  _ duelling Harry, I was made a laughing stock,  _ again _ ! I swear that bastard hates me and he’s doing that on purpose.”

Mr Weasley wasn’t wrong, Severus mused, while putting the room back in its original state. He could have done that much faster, if he tried, but somehow listening in to this little encounter was way too satisfying. It definitely looked like there was trouble in paradise. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ron,” he heard Hermione saying. “Why would Professor Snape do that? You should be glad he’s tutoring you himself. I’m sure he has many useful comments that help you improve. And he is right, you know? If you really want to become an Auror, you’ll have to face much more dangerous spells than what he’s throwing at you.”

Severus could make out the exact moment when Mr Weasley snapped, his eyes taking on an angry glimmer while his head took on the colour of a ripe tomato. “You’re one to talk, Hermione. You landed yourself in detention because the man disarmed you, twice. I’d love to see  _ your  _ reaction to being repeatedly stunned or thrown off your feet. Or maybe Snape would also find a way to use that ridiculous hair of yours against you!”

Severus sighed. He had always known that Weasley was a moron, but this sealed it. Even Potter seemed to think so, as he could see him trying to calm down his friend and help Hermione. But that only seemed to anger the redhead even further. 

“Of course you’re taking her side now,” Severus heard Mr Weasley shout, his fists clenched angrily at his sides. “After all Hermione even ran from our date to sit at  _ your _ bedside, holding  _ your _ hand. She even agreed to work with  _ Snape _ to save your sorry arse! Well, good luck mate! You can have her. She’s terrible at kissing anyway!”

Severus heard his friend gasp and look at her boyfriend in shock. It took all of his self-control to not storm towards them and wipe the floor with the arrogant prick that hurt her. But he didn’t. Instead he left the room quietly and strolled towards the Great Hall, where lunch was already waiting for him. Strangely enough he felt almost hungry, all of a sudden. He was sure Hermione would be fine without the prick that was her ex-boyfriend now. The idiot hadn’t even managed to keep her for a week, Severus thought, and felt very much like grinning. But that would have been strangely out of character for him and he did not want to scare the poor first graders that hurried past him with ducked heads. 


	37. Hurt and comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys. Here’s your next chapter. Thank you for all the kind comments you left for me. I read some of them twice, or even more often. ;-) And thanks to StephanieMRV and Justsare for making this story even better. You girls rock!

When Severus’ animagus form landed at the windowsill to Hermione’s dorm at the appointed time, the girl was not waiting for him, like she usually did. At first, he thought she was late, but after a moment he could see her through the window, lying on her bed in a position that did not leave any doubt that she was crying. 

For a moment Severus felt a twinge of guilt for provoking Mr Weasley the way he did during DADA. But then again  _ he _ had not been the one directing all his anger on the least deserving person in the room, which was Hermione. He had done so once, with Lily, but Severus had learned his lesson well and found a way to control his anger and all his other feelings through Occlumency. Yes, he still had a terrible temper, sometimes; he had probably gotten that from his father. But never again he would focus it on his friend, because there was no saying if one would be able to fix such a stupid mistake. 

Severus patiently waited on the windowsill for a while, but when Hermione did not make any move to get up from the bed, he knocked at the window with his beak. Immediately, the girl scrambled from her bed and hastened to the window to open it for him.

“Sorry, I wasn’t aware of the time,” she mumbled, her eyes red and swollen from crying over that idiot.

He did not reply, as Hermione wasn’t wearing the bracelet anyway, and just flew over to her bed, staring at her with an inclined head. She slowly sat down next to him and pulled her curtains shut, before propping up her feet in front of her, hugging her knees with her arms. But she did not speak, did not even look at him, and stared unseeingly at the closed curtains instead. And she did not make any move to slip on that damned bracelet. How the fuck was he supposed to talk to her like that? And how in Salazar’s name was he supposed to  _ comfort _ her? 

For a while, he just sat there, staring at her patiently while waiting for her to do something. But the only thing that happened was that the girl started crying again. And even though he thought being rid of Weasley was the best thing that could have happened to her, he did feel pity for the girl’s wounded feelings. Because obviously she had gotten more attached to the moron than he had deemed possible.

Finally, Severus could not take it any longer and making a quick decision, he silently transformed back into his human form, before hastily warding her bed against intrusions. Several layers of silencing and notice-me-not charms would make sure that they would be undisturbed and - more importantly - undiscovered. 

“Weasley is an idiot,” he said, carefully sitting down next to her, his long legs stretched out in front of him. “Nevertheless I am sorry if I provoked him into lashing out at you. I should have considered that was a possibility.”

Hermione sniffed pitifully, but then she wiped her eyes with her sleeve, saying: “I don’t think this was your fault. I know you only tried to teach him something. But Ron doesn't do well with pressure," the girl tried defending her arsehole of an ex-boyfriend. "But I don't even think it was that. He kind of got jealous of Harry, I think. He always was, you know?"

Severus had figured as much. "That is still no reason to lash out at you like that. I… heard him."

His friend nodded, but somehow his words did not seem to comfort her, as she kept staring at her knees sullenly. "I know," she mumbled, her teeth chewing at her bottom lip. 

"I really tried to improve my hair, you know?" Hermione mumbled, just loud enough to hear her. And suddenly Severus knew what was wrong.

"Don't tell me you believe a word of what that moron said," he sighed, looking at her with a disbelieving expression. "There is nothing wrong with your hair, Hermione. Just because his words were meant to hurt you, doesn't mean they're true."

His friend was silent for a moment. Then, almost inaudibly, she said: "Well, you wouldn't know about the other thing he was complaining about."

It took a moment for him to catch the meaning of her words. When he finally did, it took all his willpower to not roll his eyes about the ridiculousness of it. Because from all he had seen, she hadn't been the one slobbering through their kisses. But saying such would give away that he had been watching them. 

“And you think Mr Weasley is an expert on that matter?”

Hermione shrugged helplessly and for a moment he considered telling her that her kisses in their shared dreams felt  _ just fine _ , but that, too, probably wasn’t something she’d appreciate hearing. 

“I don’t  _ know _ . But I can’t deny that kissing him felt kind of wrong, even when our bond was still much weaker. Afterwards… things were even more difficult.”

“And now you’re assuming it was your fault,” Severus concluded dryly. “Why?”

She shook her head, signalling that this wasn’t a question she wanted to answer. But she didn’t have to, as he could see it clear as day. She didn’t have much to compare this experience to, which probably made her feel like she was lacking the necessary skillset. He sighed tiredly. How he wished he could just pull her into his arms and show her how wrong she was. He couldn’t, at least not now, but oh, how he  _ wanted _ to. 

“How can I make you feel better?” Severus found himself asking, after they had been silent again for a while. “I am not really an expert on human interaction, so just tell me what to do. Because I would like to comfort you, if this is even possible right now.”

The bottom lip was back between her teeth again, Severus observed.

“Could you just distract me for a bit? You could tell me about warding or… maybe you could just read to me for a bit?” 

He shrugged. “Whichever you prefer. I am fine with both.”

“Tell me about erecting some useful wards then? Which ones did you use for warding my bed?” Hermione asked, her voice starting to sound more like hers again. 

Severus found himself smiling with fondness. They really were alike, he thought before he launched into a lengthy explanation. And after only a few sentences, he could feel the girl next to him relax. 

  
  


Sssssssss

When Hermione awoke the next morning, Severus was gone from her bed. She could not remember seeing him off, but he must have snuck away after she had fallen asleep, listening to his deep, soothing voice. Hopefully, he would not be offended that she hadn’t been able to stay awake until the end of his explanations, but crying over Ron had tired her out more than she had realized. 

Breakfast was a silent affair, as Ron didn’t talk to her or Harry and instead sat with Dean and Seamus, leaving enough distance from them to make it obvious they weren’t talking. And even though Hermione had expected it, his behaviour still  _ hurt _ . 

“He’ll come around,” Harry mumbled, eying his redheaded friend with a doubtful look on his face. “Maybe after the Quidditch match…”

She’d totally forgotten about  _ that _ . Now, with Ron not even talking to her any longer, she did not really feel like going, but moping around the castle when everybody else was at the Quidditch match probably wouldn’t make her feel better either. And so she went and got to witness what must have been Gryffindor’s worst Quidditch match of the century. It started with Ron sitting on his broom, a big scowl on his face, that only got worse with every Quaffle he let through. Things got even worse, when the boy outwardly refused to listen to Harry’s commands, stubbornly crossing his arms in front of his chest while ignoring every word his former friend and team captain said. Finally, after only 45 minutes, the game ended with Slytherin winning and Harry bestowing upon Ron a broken nose, after the redhead had arrogantly declared that the result had been somehow Harry’s fault. It was probably the first time Harry earned himself cheers and whistles from the Slytherin ranks, in addition to the detention he would serve with Professor McGonagall in the evening. Their Head of House was in a visibly bad mood and Hermione was pretty sure that only part of it could be related to the fact that Harry’s team was already 340 points behind. Hermione couldn’t blame her. Ron’s behaviour had been abysmal and she would not be surprised if this had been his first and last game as a Gryffindor keeper. Because by the look of it, not only Harry and Ginny could not wait to have words with him before throwing him out of the Quidditch team. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


It was all Hermione’s and Harry’s fault, Ron thought sullenly, while waiting for Madam Pomfrey to patch him up. A broken nose wasn’t a big deal and could probably have been fixed right away, but somehow no one did and he was instead directed towards the Hospital Wing. Whatever. He didn’t want to be in Gryffindor Tower anyway, because he could already see Ginny and the rest of the team waiting for him, claiming that it had been  _ his _ fault. But it had been Harry who had ended the match, even though he must have known that they did not have enough points to win it. Wasn’t a team captain at least supposed to be able to count the fucking points?

But no, Harry was the _ Chosen One _ , and no one would see fault with him. They never did, not even after all that shit he’d gotten his friends into. Well, Harry had always been special and it was no surprise that Hermione still prioritized Harry over him. Who was she kidding? Snape could have brewed those fucking potions alone, without her help. Or he could have asked Slughorn, if things had really been that difficult, right? If Hermione had just  _ wanted _ to, she could have stayed easily at his side, but she didn’t. And that was only the tip of the iceberg. Ever since Harry returned from the hospital wing, Hermione had been different. He could tell that she had been  _ avoiding _ his touch, sticking closer to Harry’s side instead. She probably thought he wouldn’t notice, but Ron was much more observant than people expected. He had grown up with two of his brothers being notorious pranksters, after all, and he seemed to have been their preferred test subject. Therefore it had been essential for him to pay attention to certain things and Hermione had not been very good in hiding her… shift of attentions. 

Well, for all he cared, she could have Harry and bore him with her talk of books. It wasn’t like he needed any more of  _ that _ or going into bookshops. He had endured it, for her, but as Hermione obviously did not even appreciate his efforts she could go to hell, for all he cared. Because he would be  _ just fine _ without her. 

“Hello Ron,” a female voice greeted him and when he looked up he saw the pretty face of Lavender Brown grinning down at him. What was  _ she  _ doing here? “I think I sprained my ankle,” the girl explained a few seconds later, helpfully. “I don’t think it’s too bad. How are you, Ron?”

“What do you think?” he asked gloomily. “My nose hurts and the only thing my two best friends care about is how to go behind my back. I’m just so sick of it!”

He hadn’t planned on saying this, Ron thought, but Lavender did not seem to be put out in the slightest.

“Harry and Hermione? Really? That is  _ awful _ , Ron!” she sympathised, taking his large hand into hers. “How could they do this to you, to a  _ friend _ ? But I always knew that Hermione was an awful person. She’s not worth mooning over her, you know?”

Ron nodded, even though for a second he thought that those words sounded a bit harsh. But then again Hermione  _ had _ discarded him for Harry… “Yeah. It’s just that I thought she liked me.”

“I like you,” Lavender said, staring at him with a smile and those pretty, blue eyes. She really wasn’t bad to look at, he realized. “I know your heart is still hurt, but… I could help you to make it heal.”

For a moment Ron just stared at her, his head contemplating what Lavender had said. When he did and saw the hopeful expression on her face, he could not help it. He kissed her, his hands grabbing her face and pulling her down towards him in a bout of desire. She came to him willingly, her mouth opening up for him just nicely, while she came closer, closing her arms eagerly around his neck. It was hot, it was messy and it was brilliant, Ron thought, when the girl pulled away from him with a wide, happy smile on her lips. And suddenly his broken nose was almost forgotten. 

“Oh Ron,” she whispered, her breath ghosting over his lips, before she kissed him again, just as eagerly as she had the first time. Ron did not mind, not at all, but before he could get overly excited, they were interrupted, by someone clearing their throat.

“This is the Hospital Wing, children, and I expect you to behave accordingly,” Madam Pomfrey’s voice scolded them a moment later and Ron felt Lavender pull away hastily, even though she did not look like she was sorry at all. 

“Sorry, Madam Pomfrey,” Rom mumbled, grinning at the girl in front of him. Her lips were still swollen from his kisses, he realized, and found himself liking the sight of it. He thought he would kiss her again, later, when the medi-witch had taken care of his nose. Maybe Lavender would even be willing to snog him in the Common Room, where Harry and Hermione would be able to see it. Ron grinned. The more he thought about it, the more he found himself liking the idea. Hermione had been the one hurting him, after all. Therefore she could not blame him, if he sought comfort somewhere else.

Ssssssss

Severus had been sure he would find Hermione in a better mood, when he arrived on her window sill, but if anything things seemed to be even worse today. The girl was crying again, sobbing, if he wasn’t mistaken, and it took him several minutes of knocking his beak against the window to get her attention. Shortly after he found himself in her bed again, the curtains warded in a way which would not even make it possible for a horde of agitated centaurs to disturb them. 

“What has that idiot done now?“ he asked softly, staring at her with a worried expression. 

For a while she could not answer him though, her body being wracked by horrible sobs. He watched her crying helplessly until his body seemed to react on its own, pulling the girl against his chest without even thinking about it. There was no resistance from her; on the contrary, her body seemed to meld against him, her face burying itself against his chest. And even though he felt sorry for her - pitied her - he could not help but feel elated at her touch and the show of trust. 

Severus held her silently for a while, his eyes closed to be able to enjoy the feeling of her body against him to its fullest. She was small, much smaller than him, but her womanly curves were still pronounced enough to make him realize that it was definitely a woman lying in his arms, not a girl. 

Finally her sobs died down, until there were mere sniffles, but as Hermione made no move to disentangle herself from him, he kept holding her, soaking in the smell of her hair. He would never get tired of it, Severus realized, a content smile forming on his lips. 

“Ron’s gotten himself a new girlfriend,” Hermione mumbled, after her breathing had started to normalise and she had found the strength for talking about what had happened. “When he came back from the Hospital Wing he walked in, arm in arm with Lavender. I spent ten minutes watching him bury his tongue inside her mouth, then I couldn't take it any longer.”

Severus stared at the bed curtains in stunned silence. The boy was even more of an idiot than he had thought possible. He should have been begging the girl for forgiveness, to at least try to fix their  _ friendship _ , but even that seemed of no interest to him. He wouldn’t be surprised if such hurtful behaviour was too much for even Hermione to forgive.

“Do you want me to put something into his pumpkin juice?” he asked, making his voice sound casual. “I could make him taste like rotten eggs for weeks, or vomit green slime, if that is something you prefer.”

For a moment she was silent, until he finally heard her chuckle against his chest. “You wouldn’t,” she said, her voice almost sounding breathless with amusement.

At that, he snorted. “I am a Slytherin, Hermione. I do understand the desire to get revenge, after one was hurt. And that idiot did hurt you, badly. So yes, I would.”

Again, she was silent but after a while he could feel her shake his head against his chest. “But you shouldn’t. I don’t want you to get into trouble because of this. I appreciate the idea though. I’ll just have to let it play out in my mind the next time I see them together.”

Severus did not reply. Hermione had not told him no, not  _ directly _ , and there was no chance he would get caught on this. He’d been a spy for years after all and the look on Hermione’s face when she saw that idiot vomiting green slime all over Miss Brown would be worth every bit of careful planning. He might not do it right away,  _ or at all _ , but Severus would keep it an option, if that idiot kept hurting Hermione, because that was something he could not allow. 

  
  
  
  
  



	38. Crossing the line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends. Here is your next chapter for you. I was a bit stuck writing again, but with all your kind words of support, I pulled through. Thank you for your ongoing support and the love you are giving this story. 
> 
> Again, Justsare and StephanieMRV supported me by making this chapter even better. I am sure we all appreciate their hard work!

Severus watched Hermione carefully the next day and the days that followed, but even though Weasley kept being an idiot, his friend did not break down again or even show the slightest bit of discomfort. And she would have had every reason to. Seeing the redhead and the naive little chit together, being so obviously taken with each other, was like watching a bad theatre play, with the actors being too unprofessional to make the whole thing believable. But it was not for their lack of trying. 

Severus could tell he was not the only one being put out by that little display. Minerva, who was sitting next to him today, was seething with anger and he could tell she was itching to comfort Hermione about her ex-boyfriend’s abysmal behaviour. But she wasn’t the only one. He was pretty sure the boy would receive a dressing down from his sister because Ginevra Weasley looked like she was going to choke him right over his breakfast and Severus thought that he would enjoy watching her. The boy hadn’t done himself a favour by hooking up with the most naive Gryffindor girl he could find, and it wasn’t just because the girl didn’t seem to have two brain cells to rub together. But by the looks of it, she did not seem to mind the smooches the boy eagerly bestowed on her in the hallways, broom cupboards, or even before and after lessons, and maybe that was all Weasley was interested in. Well, that and maybe having a girl letting him get into her knickers, Severus thought, knowing the hungry look in the boy’s eyes only too well. 

Hermione held her head high and kept her spine straight and during their shared evenings, they kept their routine of reading and discussing whatever crossed their minds, even though Severus now stayed in his Animagus form thereon. Everything else felt highly inappropriate and even though he had crossed that line twice already, he had done so for her benefit. But he would not cross it for his own. 

Another big portion of Severus’ time was spent researching Horcruxes. He was quite versed on the topic of their existence and creation already, as he had been fascinated with Dark Magic in his youth. But now he focussed on the possibilities to destroy them - preferably without destroying the vessel - and the Room of Requirement readily supplied him with every book it could find on the theme. Hermione had really shown him a precious place, one that would give him all the resources he needed. And she had done so in a moment when she didn’t owe him anything, having every reason not to trust him. But she had. 

When Severus left his new research base around midnight, he was actually looking forward to some hours of sleep, for once. But he had only made a few steps, when he found his god-son lurking around in the hallway.

“Draco, what are you doing here?” he asked evenly, even though he knew what the boy had been looking for. Hermione had explained to him that the room could only be used for one purpose at a time, which meant that the boy had not been able to enter it while he had still been inside. But instead of giving up, the boy had decided to wait. Very suspicious. 

“Nothing,” the blonde boy replied evasively. “I couldn’t sleep.” 

“Obviously,” Severus replied dryly. “But I guess falling asleep does not work, as long as you are staying upright, in a deserted corridor. You will have to lie down for that.”

Last year, he would have tried to support the boy, probably even to help him. But with his allegiances officially changed, he would have to be careful and cautious around the junior Death Eater. Especially as Potter’s attacker was still not found. 

“Your advice used to be more helpful than that,  _ Sir _ ,” Draco said, staring at him with cold, grey eyes. “Sleep is not coming for me, no matter where I am.” 

“I see,” Severus replied with a sigh. It was understandable, of course, as the boy found himself in a pretty desperate situation. But Draco was still lying, because Severus knew where he had been headed to. “I assume you have not considered seeking help with your… situation. There might be people around willing to help.”

His godson replied coldly: “You know what he would do to my parents if I did. Apart from that, not all of us can be traitors.”

Severus shook his head. “Indeed. I recommend going to bed now, Mr Malfoy. I would hate to take points from my own god-son.”

“Do you even care about that, any longer? Because it does not seem like you do,” Draco said, his eyes never wavering. 

Severus stared back at him with a calm expression. “I cannot help you, if you do not want my help. And you might not like what I have to offer. But you can come to me in case you do not know where else to go. My side in this conflict is very clear though and I will not waver from the path I have taken, not for  _ anybody,  _ not after I have finally found freedom.”

“Freedom? Are you not Dumbledore’s lap-dog now?” the boy sneered.

He shook his head. “Standing on the same side of this war does not make me his servant, or whatever it is you are assuming I am. I have not traded one master for another.”

The boy stared at him with a contemplative gaze, his eyes trailing towards Severus’ left arm. His unblemished skin was well hidden beneath his robes, of course, and it would stay that way until he could be sure he could trust the boy. He had offered him a way out of this mess, if only vaguely. But it had to be enough for now. 

“Go to bed, Draco. You will not find the solution to your problems tonight,” Severus said, taking in the boy’s stubborn expression. “Do you need me to accompany you back to your dorm? Or will you manage to not get yourself into trouble?”

“I don’t need your help,” Draco replied, turning and walking away a moment later. Severus was not sure to which of his offers the boy was referring, but then he thought that it did not matter, as long as his god-son rejected them. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


On the morning of her birthday, Hermione awoke without having any high expectations for the day. With her parents out of the country and Ron not even talking to her, it would probably be a pretty sad day, especially as Harry’s mind seemed to be occupied elsewhere most of the time. She could not really blame him, but if it hadn’t been for Severus’ constant company, she would have felt pretty abandoned.

To her surprise, there was a small stack of presents at the end of her bed and she went to open them, still clad in her pyjamas. 

There was a stack of books from her parents, all of them being novels from several modern muggle authors. It was a good gift and Hermione enjoyed reading casual literature from time to time if she felt the need to relax her mind for a bit. And as the magical world did not have any technology to offer distraction, a book was always a good choice. 

Harry had gotten her a new self-inking quill, a beautiful one that must have come from an eagle. Hermione stared at it with a soft smile and touched the soft material, before carefully putting it aside. She would use it for her classes today, even though her old quill was still in good shape, but somehow she wanted to make the day special, as much as it was possible under the given circumstances. 

There was only one more present for her and it came in a small, wooden box. For a moment Hermione just stared at it, unsure who might have sent it to her, because there was no note attached to it. But as soon as she opened it, she knew, because inside she found a delicate, golden necklace, with part of a blue light-crystal added to it as a pendant. It was beautiful, even though the design was rather simple, but staring at the crystal alone reminded her of their hours in the cave,  _ their _ cave, and she realized that probably no one except them knew of the place. 

“Wow, that is beautiful!” she heard a female voice behind her and when she turned around, she saw Parvati and Lavender staring at her present in awe. “Who sent this to you?” Lavender asked, her eyes full of speculation, while Parvati seemed more fascinated with the design. Now that she looked closer at the pendant, she could see a delicate strand of gold winding itself around the crystal, tiny scales engraved in it that made it look like a snake. Only the very precise use of magic could have created something as detailed as this. 

“I have never seen a necklace like that before, Hermione. Do you know where it was bought?”

Unfortunately for them, Hermione would not answer either of their questions. Instead she said: “There was no note added to it. I am pretty sure it’s not from my parents and Harry sent me a quill. I don’t know who else would get me something for my birthday.”

At that, she heard Lavender snort. Parvati, on the other hand, stared at her with a curious expression on her face. “Very curious indeed,” she said, rubbing her chin. “Maybe it is from a secret admirer,” she murmured, a little smile forming on her lips. “Wouldn’t that be the most romantic thing?”

Hermione sighed. She and Lavender had never been friends, but ever since she had dated Ron the girl’s behaviour had been outright hostile. It wasn’t just that Lavender seemed to pull Ron into a kiss when she got aware of Hermione’s presence, Hermione could have also sworn that the girl talked about her behind her back. She knew the signs, as such things had happened to her before, in primary school. But back then she had learned that things got only worse if one showed how much one was bothered by it. As long as Hermione had complained about that treatment to her parents and teachers, things had gotten worse and worse. Only when she had stopped caring and held her head high instead, those girls had suddenly stopped bothering with her. With Lavender it would be the same, Hermione thought. With time she would lose interest and realize that Hermione was not a threat to her - or Ron. 

Hermione stared at her dorm-mates with an unreadable look on her face that would have made Severus proud. She knew for a fact that Severus was not a ‘secret admirer’, even though a part of her wished it to be otherwise. Still, the necklace was the most beautiful gift she had received in years and she would be only too proud to wear it under her sweater. And every time the stone rubbed against her naked skin, she would remember the cave with all its beautiful lights, and smile. Maybe this seventeenth birthday wouldn’t be all that bad afterall.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus had planned the day very carefully, determined to make that 17th birthday special for his friend. It was what he would have wished someone had done for him, when he reached majority, but the only “special” thing that happened to him was being locked into a cupboard by fucking Potter and his bully-friends. It had been a horrible day in a string of horrible days for him, a never ending humiliation that only ended when Lily started dating the unworthy idiot. Even then his tormentors did not stop, but they sought him out much less frequently. 

For Hermione her 17th birthday things would be different, better; that much he had sworn to himself. The first had been the gift, the necklace he had spent many hours crafting and enchanting. It would not be obvious from just looking at it, but he had exerted all his knowledge on protective spells, layered enchantment over enchantment over the crystal and fed it with his own magic, until he knew his bondmate would be protected from most magical attacks. The necklace would not really help her survive a full Death-Eater attack, but it would buy her time until he was there to help her. 

But that wasn’t all he had in mind for today and the rest of it had taken as much careful planning and scheming.

“We will be trying to improve your duelling skills today,” he announced, staring at his class of sixth years with a hard expression. “You will be practising in pairs and trying to disarm or immobilize your opponent. You’re allowed to use any spell from your repertoire, verbal or non-verbal, except Unforgivables.”

The class stared at him with wide eyes. They all knew they were an uneven number of students and that he would ask one of them to duel him. Today, his choice was an easy one. 

“Miss Granger, you will be facing me today. I have been made aware that you value the gain of knowledge that a private lesson can provide.” He gave his face a disdainful look and from across the room he heard Weasley and several Slytherins snicker. They, of course, assumed he wanted to humiliate her, but Hermione knew better. She  _ did _ value having a private instruction as she had told him so many times. 

“I do,” she replied, her chin raised proudly. Then she walked over to him and positioned herself in duelling distance, her wand waiting readily in her hand. Severus saw the pitying looks she received from Potter and Longbottom, whereas Weasley looked like he was waiting for her to be humiliated the way he had been. What a jerk, Severus thought, before giving the students the signal to start. 

He had barely closed his mouth, when he felt Hermione’s first, non-verbal spell rushing towards him and he blocked it, with a practised flick of his wand. She was taking this lesson seriously, he thought, feeling pride for the girl. Still, he did make a plan for today and that required her losing this duel. Not that she would have had a chance to win against him, having years of duelling experience. But he would not humiliate her, not ever again, Severus swore and send a silent stunner back at her. She blocked it with a determined expression on her face. Good. 

Hermione did have a vast theoretical knowledge on spells, Severus knew, and he went through his own repertoire of non-lethal duelling spells and five times he managed to beat her, leaving her unable to fight in one or the other way. Hermione, of course, took it in stride and thanked him politely but breathlessly every time he revived her or handed her wand back. She was treating this duel for what it was, a valuable lesson, and even though he could see her getting frustrated with herself, she never lost her patience, like her friends would surely have at this point. 

“Enough,” he shouted after he had deflected a well-aimed cutting curse from her and slowly he could see the duels around him die down. There were no major injuries, Severus realized with satisfaction as he scanned the classroom with a dark gaze. Then he focussed his attention back on Hermione, putting on his best sneer and said: “Well, you at least  _ did _ learn to hold your temper, Miss Granger, even though your duelling skills are still rather… lacking. Theoretical knowledge is not all, you see?”

Hermione nodded silently, her eyes downcast. He could only hope this would not be too rough on her, but he did want to spend the evening with her and there was only one way on how to go about this. “You will be spending the evening in my office, girl,  _ practising _ , as you don’t seem to be able to make use of the things you have read in those thousands of books.”

He stared at her without blinking hoping that she would understand what he was trying to do. 

She remained calm and collected, her back ramrod straight as she asked: “Are you putting me in detention, Sir?”

He looked at her with a bored expression. “No. I asked you into my office to be taught a lesson, girl. Call it whatever you want.”

She nodded silently, before retreating into the back of the room. He could see Potter waiting for her, whispering agitatedly while his green eyes stared at him with a calculative expression. 

“...it’s your birthday… unfair… overstepped a line…” Severus could only hear snippets of what the boy said, but it was enough to get the message across. Harry Potter was not happy with him but he could not find it in himself to care, not even a little bit. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	39. Not what I thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, guys. Here is the second part of Hermione’s birthday for you. Tell me what you think… I am always looking forward to your comments. My special thanks goes again to Justsare and StephanieMRV who help me to improve this story for you. I can’t tell you often enough how thankful I am. 

“What do you think you’re doing, Severus?” Minerva’s stern voice asked him, as he left the Great Hall after lunch. Severus turned around slowly and looked at his colleague with his eyebrows raised questioningly at her.

“I don’t think I know what you’re referring to, Minerva,” he said, realizing that the woman was seething. 

“It’s the girl’s birthday, for Merlin’s sake! You can’t just put her in detention over… over… nothing!”

“Ah,” Severus exclaimed, schooling his face into a mask of indifference, before casting a quick Muffliato to protect their privacy. Secretly he had prepared himself for the old woman to approach him. She had always been protective of her cubs, and especially Hermione. “Call it private lessons then, if it makes you feel any better. I did not take any House Points from her, if that is what you’re worried about. ”

Minerva looked at him with a dark expression and he prepared himself for her to try and box his ears. “Private lesson? Really? You never give private lessons, not even for your Slytherins. So why would you do it now?”

He looked at her calmly. “I was told it was the girl’s birthday.”

Minerva stared at him open-mouthed for a few seconds and for a moment Severus feared she would have a stroke. 

“Are you… are you trying to be  _ nice _ ?” she asked, her voice full of disbelief. 

He shrugged nonchalantly. “There are dark times ahead of us, Minerva. Maybe you should consider giving private lessons to your favourite cubs, too. They will surely need them. Good day.”

Severus turned around without waiting for the woman’s answer. She would surely make her own conclusions about what he was doing. Probably she would come to the decision that he was indeed trying to give the girl a birthday gift. And she would not have been far off.

  
  
  


sssssssss

  
  


Hermione was not worried about the detention Severus had thrown at her, even though she could hear some other Gryffindors hear complaining loudly about the unfairness of it all. Harry, of course, was the one who complained the loudest, even after Hermione assured him that she did not mind another duelling lesson with Professor Snape.

“Can’t you see what he’s doing, Harry?” she asked him with a shake of her head. “He’s teaching me, Harry,  _ really teaching me  _ how to duel and hopefully survive. I told you he is on Dumbledore’s side and I think this is his way of helping us improve.”

Harry looked at her with a stunned expression, his forehead wrinkled as he was considering her words. But she was not finished. “Think about it, Harry. He never even asked a Slytherin to practise with him. Why? He is trying to help us improve, even though some of us might not appreciate his methods. But he is a powerful and skilled wizard and one of the best teachers we’ve had for DADA.”

She could tell that Harry was considering her words, even though he still did not seem happy with them. “But it’s your  _ birthday _ , Hermione. Don’t tell me you didn’t hope for something different than spending the evening with  _ Snape _ wiping the floor with you.”

“He is giving me a private instruction, Harry,” Hermione said with a small teasing smile. “What else could I wish for on my birthday?”

At that, her friend snorted. “Only you could see it that way. You’re such an over-achiever, Hermione,” he said, but there was a fondness in his voice that made her smile. Maybe Harry did not think the same way she did, but he at least tried to understand and that was all she asked for in a friend. 

  
  
  


Sssssssss

  
  


Hermione knocked at Severus' office door two minutes early, but she hoped he would not mind. It did not take long for him to open the door and ask her inside and even though his tone was brisk, she could see their friendship reflecting in his eyes. 

As soon as the door closed behind him though, his whole facade dropped and back was her friend, staring at her with an awkward smile. 

“Sorry if I was too rough on you in class. But I did not want to celebrate your birthday as a raven, confined to Gryffindor tower.”

Hermione looked at her friend with a small smile. “But you already sent me a present, Severus, and I love it. It’s beautiful!” she exclaimed, carefully pulling out the necklace from below her shirt. The crystal still glowed in blue light and by now it felt warm and… familiar against her skin. She could not help but smile while looking at it.

“You like it then,” Severus stated neutrally. “Good. It’s more than a pretty piece of jewellery though. There are some protective spells on the crystal that you will hopefully never need. But these are difficult times, Hermione and I want you well protected.”

She stared at her friend with wide eyes. His last statement had a weight that made her realize how serious he was about this… about her. He really valued her company, her friendship, on a whole different level than anybody else ever had. It made her feel…  _ odd _ and she could not help but ask herself if she could give him back enough in return. “I… I don’t know what to say to this. I.. this is…” she could only stammer and look at the man in front of her helplessly. Slowly, she started to sense his discomfort and when she saw the anxious look forming on his face, she leapt forward and pulled him into a tight hug. Because she definitely did not want to make him feel like she did not appreciate his efforts. She did, but it also made her feel slightly overwhelmed. 

“I am not used to being spoiled like this, to feeling protected like this…” she mumbled while pressing her ear against his chest. “But I do appreciate it, even though I do feel young and stupid now. Sometimes I feel so stupid compared to you, you know?”

Slowly she felt his arms close around her, holding her close. “You are not stupid Hermione, you are young. Knowledge comes with age and experience and it’s not your fault that there’s such a large age gap between us. I plan on staying your friend for a _very long time,_ Hermione, and eventually, things will get more even between us. Don’t worry about it now.”

Hermione nodded. He was right of course. She would not be his student forever and there were so many things she planned on learning. “Alright, sorry,” she mumbled, slowly pulling back from him. “It’s just that I have the feeling that I cannot give anything back to you.”

He stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face. “How is it then, that these last days have been the happiest in my life? Do not dwell on this, Hermione. Your friendship is all I want.”

She accepted those words with a nod. “Alright. So… what do we do now? I don’t exactly see the two of us eating birthday cake together, especially as we’ve just had dinner.”

Severus chuckled. “I did not plan for us to stay here. I’d like to take you somewhere… a place outside of Hogwarts that is.”

“We are going out? Really?” she asked, suddenly feeling excited. “But what if somebody sees us leaving the castle? Everyone assumes you are teaching me defence in your office.”

Her friend smiled. “No one will see us leaving. We are taking a portkey, directly from this office.”

Hemione smiled. “Looks like you have given this a lot of thought. I cannot wait to see where you’ll be taking me…”

Severus smiled. “Excited? Wait till we get there.”

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus thought that this evening was as much a present for him, as it was for her. Not only did he enjoy seeing the look of wonder and awe on Hermione’s face; visiting the Timeless Collection had been a dream of his, too. The place was truly magical, not only because the cathedral-like room contained thousands of rare books and magical artefacts, but because time was literally standing still in this place. As he explained as much to the girl at his side, he could see her eyes bulge at the revelation. 

“Time is standing still? Does that mean we can stay as long as we want?” she gasped and it took all his willpower not to chuckle at her enthusiasm. 

“Indeed. Some wizards stay for weeks and months. I did not plan on spending the night though, as I have not booked us a room. But we can stay as long as you can keep yourself awake and after we return, you can nap on my sofa before I am sending you back to your dorm after an appropriate time for your detention has passed. You might still be tired in the morning, but this second gift comes with a bottle of Energy Replenisher, so you should be fine.”

For a moment Hermione just stared at him in stunned silence, but then she pulled him into a hug, that was surprisingly strong for such a small person. Severus did not mind and even though he had never enjoyed physical contact with another person ever since Lily, he found himself soaking in her touch. Asking Albus to get him the permission to enter that secret Refugio of Knowledge has been totally worth it. 

“You are spoiling me, Severus,” she said, her caramel brown eyes beaming at him with happiness. 

He smiled. “This is as much a gift for myself, as it is for you. You might remember that I  _ am _ a very bookish person, too.”

Hermione nodded and before he realized what she was doing, her hand took his, so that they were standing side by side, their fingers entwined while they stared at the seemingly endless shelves with books in front of them. “And no one appreciates that more than I. Shall we go? Because I can’t wait to see what they have here…”

Severus smiled a happy smile. “Neither can I.”

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


When Hermione stumbled back into the Gryffindor Common Room she was beyond tired, despite the short nap she had taken on Severus’ sofa. They had been to the Timeless Collection for hours, browsing book after book, reading side by side on one of the plush sofas that were provided for them. Hermione could not remember feeling this content in her life, this happy, because she had the chance of doing what she loved most without needing to feel guilty about it. Severus did not mind that she did not speak a word for hours while she buried her nose in a book, the world around her forgotten. Because the man at her side  _ understood _ and enjoyed those hours of silent reading as much as she did. They were indeed Kindred Spirits.

Now her head was pleasantly buzzing with all the new information she had taken in and she could not wait to discuss the things she had read with Severus, tomorrow when he would come visiting her again. But for now, she just wanted to stumble into her bed and sleep.

“You are back,” a voice said when she was about to stumble towards the stairs to the girl’s dorm. Immediately she halted in her steps and turned around, realizing that Harry had been waiting up for her on a sofa in the corner. 

“Harry,” she said, slowly walking over to him. “What are you doing, staying up that late. Have you been waiting for me?”

The boy nodded, staring at her with intense, green eyes. “I have. I was worried about you. That’s why I watched you on the Marauder’s Map. Strangely you were only in Snape’s office for a few minutes, before your and his dots disappeared from the map for a few minutes. But that wasn’t the strangest thing. After your dots reappeared, the both of you entered his private quarters where you stayed for hours. Isn’t that strange? And then there is something else, I suddenly remember. I saw you at the hospital wing, Hermione - you and Snape. First I thought it was just a dream, but now? Where have you been, Hermione? What’s going on?”

Hermione stared at him helplessly, her mind suddenly blank and devoid of an appropriate answer. Because there was none. “Harry I… it’s complicated…” she tried, but at that, his expression only hardened. 

“Complicated, huh? Are you having an affair or something? Is that what this is?” the boy asked while staring at her heatedly. 

Hermione saw red. She hastily cast a silencing spell around them, before she started to shout. “Harry James Potter! How  _ dare _ you accuse me of such a thing? Relationships between teachers and students are forbidden!” She paced in front of him and the sofa. “What is it you’re even accusing me of? Using the first possibility after coming of age to ensnare my Professor during detention? Maybe even to improve my  _ grades _ ?”

She looked at him with a fiery expression, while Harry just stared at her, taken aback. But she was not finished. 

“Or are you implying that we have been shagging for weeks and months while I was still  _ underage _ ?”

“What? No!” her friend replied, taken aback. “That’s not what I meant.”

She stared at him with a cold expression. “No? Because it very much sounded like you did. Merlin Harry, I thought you knew me, but it seems like Ron isn’t the only one with his mind in the gutter. Maybe you should tell  _ him _ ! He would love that new theory of yours!” 

With that she stormed off, not even looking back to judge Harry’s reaction. His words had hit her hard, not just because she was a stickler for rules. They could have been true, as far as she was concerned, because somehow, she could see herself falling more and more for Severus - for  _ Professor Snape _ . More than once she had felt the impulse to not just hug him but press her lips against his, to let him know how she felt. She wanted him, not just as a friend. Except she would ruin their friendship if she only as much as hinted into that direction. Severus had always been concerned about her behaving properly and he had good reason to. Having a romantic relationship with a student would be a scandal and would probably cost his job. He couldn’t -  _ they _ couldn’t. But apart from that he probably was not interested in her that way. Because only a few hours ago he had said it:  _ “Your friendship is all I want.” _

He wanted her friendship, nothing more, Hermione reminded herself, just as she threw herself onto her bed, not even bothering to brush her teeth or remove her clothes. She, too, needed to pull her mind out of the gutter, because when she was honest with herself, she wasn’t any better than the boys. But she would not ruin her friendship with Severus by wanting things she could not have, not in a million years.

  
  
  
  
  



	40. Not going anywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. Here’s your next update. You’ve been very kindly stroking my Muse lately, so this is what you get. I hope you enjoy what I have for you. 
> 
> A big thank you to StephanieMRV and Justsare for helping me with this fic. It makes the world of a difference to not have to do this alone. 

It did not even take Severus five minutes of watching Hermione during breakfast to know that something was wrong. Today she sat all by herself, staring down at her book with a look that read unmistakably “Do not talk to me.” And even though Potter looked at her  several times, his face full of guilt, nobody  else did. Whatever the idiot had done, Hermione seemed thoroughly pissed at him. Not that Severus was surprised, as Potter and Weasley had repeatedly treated her like idiots. It appeared Hermione was  no longer taking all their shit, maybe because she suddenly had a real friend instead of a bunch of immature, egomaniac al teenaged-idiots.

But as soon as he entered the girl’s dorm that evening and took a look at her face he knew that something was indeed wrong. Therefore he lost no time in landing on her pillow, fixing her with a questioning gaze, while she thoroughly closed the curtains and warded them. It hadn’t taken long for her to learn the necessary spells for it, as Hermione Granger soaked up knowledge like a sponge.

“ _ We have a problem _ ,” she told him mentally, as soon as she was sure they would not be disturbed. _ “Yesterday… Harry saw us in your private chambers.” _

His raven face probably did not transport the confusion he felt.  _ “That is impossible, Hermione. My rooms are very well warded. No one could enter without my invitation, not even the Headmaster… or you.” _

The girl just shook her head.  _ “No, he did not need to enter your chambers. He has a map that shows the castle and the position of all its inhabitants. It was made by Remus Lupin and his friends back when they were students. I believe the _ _ y _ _ somehow tied it to the wards of the castle but I am not sure.” _

That was a lot to take in, Severus found. Those bullies had been in possession of a map? No wonder they had always found him seemingly without effort. He’d never even had a chance to hide, Severus thought in frustration. 

But that wasn’t the problem Hermione had hinted at. She had said Potter had the goddamn map now. And he had seen them, in his quarters. Ah.

_ “So Potter saw your and my marker in my rooms, _ ” he repeated calmly in her mind.  _ “What did he make of that?” _

Hermione stared at her folded legs, her cheeks slowly turning pink with embarrassment. _ “He also saw us together at the hospital wing after you… after he woke up. He asked if we were having an affair,” _ she admitted through their mental connection. And once more he was glad that his raven form was helping him to hide his emotions. Because ever since he and Hermione had gotten closer, he tried not to occlude his mind when he was with her. He wanted to show her his real self, to give her a chance to get to know him better.

_ “Ah, _ ” he replied as neutrally as possible. “ _ What did you say in return?” _

Her eyes slowly trailed towards him, until they looked at him. _ “I… asked him if he was assuming I was trying to better my grades through sleeping with you as soon as I was old enough to do so, or if he thought this has already been going on as I wasn’t even of age.” _

Severus gave a mental snort. He could see the whole scene playing out in his mind now. Of course, the boy would have received a dressing down for accusing them of such a thing. Hermione was usually a stickler for rules and she would have hated to be unrightfully told that she had broken them.

_ “I imagine he realized how ridiculous that accusation of his was?”  _ Severus found himself asking, his voice not giving any of his feelings away. 

At that Hermione started chewing on her bottom lip.  _ “I kind of stormed off after that. I do have a temper sometimes, especially when those boys are just so damned thick.” _

He looked at her with an inclined head.  _ “Understandable. But we do have to talk to him again because I assume it will be only a matter of time until he cannot keep his mouth shut. And we do not want him ruining your reputation.” _

_ “And yours,”  _ she added.  _ “I do not want you getting in trouble, Severus.” _

Severus did not say anything to that. He was glad that Hermione was so considerate of his situation, but her words also made pretty clear that she would not risk their reputations for something more than friendship. It totally made sense, but he still felt … disappointed somehow. Still, her birthday was just yesterday and only a few days ago she had been too young to even consider starting a relationship with her. She was only days older now… but did that really make a difference? Hermione was still incredibly young and had barely had the chance to make her own experience with romance. On the other hand, he did not think he could stand watching her make some, especially considering that their bond would probably not allow her to do so. So where did that leave them? He could not ask her to sa v e herself until he deemed her old and experienced enough… that was, if she would ever want him in that way.

He sighed internally, before he remembered, that he should probably say something to her. “ _ Do not worry, Hermione. There is no proof to Mr Potter’s words and if necessary we could both swear under Veritaserum, that we are not sexually involved. Still, we should talk to Mr Potter and maybe give him some basic information. But we can not tell him much; not because I do not trust him to keep his mouth shut for your sake, but because he is still mentally connected to the Dark...ah...Voldemort. And as my attempt to teach him Occlumency was not very successful… _ ”

_ “Yeah, we should talk to him, even though I have no idea what we should tell him. If we cannot tell him of the bond, then what is there even left to say?” _ Hermione said, the nervousness obvious from the tone of her voice in his head. 

_ “I will think of something, Hermione. Do not worry about it,” _ Severus promised confidently. He saw her nod, her posture slowly relaxing.

_ “I don’t. I trust you, Severus,” _ she said and the small smile she bestowed on him was enough to make his heart jump with pride. 

  
  


Sssssssss

Hermione could not help but feel nervous throughout the next day. She knew that she and Severus would talk to Harry in the evening, Severus had  _ promised _ her they would, but she had no idea what he would tell her friend, or how Harry would take whatever facts Severus would be throwing at him. Harry hated her bond mate and no matter how often Hermione tried to imagine the conversation in her head, it always ended in disaster. That, of course, did not help to make her feel any better or less nervous about the meeting that was fast approaching. 

Lessons and mealtimes had never gone by so fast, even though Hermione was mostly just picking at her food. Then dinner was finally over and Hermione was hastily walk ing back to her dorm, where a house-elf would come to collect her to transport her into Severus’ office without being seen. Last year she would have been hesitant to accept such a service from the elves, but now she knew that they had been proud to be asked and trusted with their secret. Severus had promised her that the house-elves would never tell, and Hermione trusted his judgement. 

“There you are,” Severus greeted her, as soon as Worry, the elf, had apparated her into his office. Her Professor was calmly seated behind his desk, his fingers steepled in front of his chin. And even though he greeted her with a small, friendly smile, he wore the facial expression that she now called his “public mask”. “Potter will be here in about two minutes, I believe. Sit down.”

He pointed at one of the chairs in front of his desk and suddenly Hermione felt like his student again, not like his friend. But it was fine, Professor Snap e was still her teacher, after all, and he would be for almost two more years. And even though they had formed a friendship, she had no problem accepting his authority over her. 

Hermione sat down and tried not to fidget in her seat. She did not have to wait long, as there was a knock at Severus’ door just a few moments later. Severus calmly rose from his seat and walked over to the door, his face now devoid of all emotions.

“Potter,” he said in an almost bored tone, after opening the door.

“Sir,” Harry greeted back and a moment later Hermione could hear him stepping in. “Hermione?”

Ah, he hadn’t expected her here, then. “Hello Harry,” she said, looking at him over her shoulder. 

“Sit down, Potter,” Professor Snape’s voice instructed him from the door. Then he brushed past her with billowing robes, to sit down behind his own desk. Harry followed his command without saying anything, but Hermione could tell how tense he was. What would he expect to be said here?

“You have questions,” their Professor said, his dark eyes focussed on Harry, for now. “Before Miss Granger and I agree to give you some answers, though, I do have some questions on my own. You will answer them, truthfully, or you will not get any answers at all. Is that understood?”

“Yeah,” Harry mumbled and Hermione could not help but be embarrassed by her teenaged friend’s bad manners.  She glared at him and Harry, who saw it, hastily corrected: “I mean, yes, Sir.” Severus did not comment on it.  Instead he said:

“Has your scar hurt since you returned from the Department of Mysteries, or have you experienced any strange dreams lately?”

“No,” Harry replied irritatably. “My scar has not hurt since I last encountered Voldemort, not even before or after I was attacked at Hogsmeade, if that's what you’re referring to. The dreams have also stopped, as far as I can tell.”

Severus nodded. “Good. Do you experience unexplainable bouts of anger or do you feel compelled to do things you normally would not do? You did break Mr Weasley’s nose, after all.”

Harry stared back at his Professor and shook his head. “Yeah, but he deserved it for being a prick.”

“He did,” the older man replied and suddenly Hermione saw the small smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Well then, it appears we can at least give you some basic information. If that is not enough for you, you will need to improve your Occlumency skills - noticeably.” Professor Snape paused, probably to give Harry the chance to reply to his words. He didn’t though, therefore the Professor continued: 

“You have been made aware of Miss Granger and I saving your life. We did not do it by brewing some mysterious potions, though. There is no potion to cure the Killing Curse, Potter, because usually there’s no one left to take it.” 

Harry nodded in understanding. “How did you cure me, then?”

Severus stared at him calmly. “Miss Granger and I used very old magic and could only succeed in saving you by combining our powers.”

“How?” the young man shot back, his green eyes staring at his Professor doubtfully. 

“This I can tell you, after you have learned to protect your mind,” Severus replied and slowly Hermione felt herself relaxing. Her bond-mate would know how much he could safely disclose. 

Ssssssss

Severus used all his strength to be as sociable as possible with Lily’s son. He was Hermione’s friend, after all, but the boy’s lack of… manners was somewhat infuriating. Severus could tell that Hermione was somewhat embarrassed for her friend too, but he would not hold Potter’s lack of respect against her. 

“How can I learn Occlumency? You tried teaching me once and I wasn’t able to learn,” the boy pouted and Severus had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. 

“You could apply yourself for once, Potter,” he said, matter of factly. “You know the basics, I repeated them over and over again. All that you’re lacking is discipline and the right motives to do it.”

Pother sighed. “I will try, Sir,” he promised, staring at him with his arms crossed in front of his chest. “Is there anything else you can tell me? For example, why Hermione was spending the evening of her birthday in your quarters?” 

Now came the difficult part, Severus thought while grinding his teeth. But before he could even say something, Hermione replied: 

“Professor Snape and I are friends, Harry. I was allowed to browse some of his books, as a birthday present, so to speak,” the girl said, the lie undetectable from her tone. If he had not known better, he would have fallen for it himself. Still, her words were totally unexpected in the given situation, as he had assumed the girl wanted to keep their friendship a secret. Obviously, he had been wrong.

Potter looked like he had just been confunded, looking back and forth between them like he was expecting one of them to erupt in giggles, telling him that it had been a joke. But no one did. “Wait, you’re serious, Hermione? Snape’s your…  _ friend _ ?”

“ _ Professor _ Snape, Harry. And yes, he is,” Hermione answered, her voice brisk. If she had been a cat, she would have put up her fur, Severus thought, but Potter, ever the idiot, did not seem to see the warning signs.

“Why?” he asked, staring at her like she had suddenly gone insane. One look at his friend was enough to realize, that the boy was about to receive one of Miss Granger’s famous dressing downs. 

“ _ Why _ ? Because apparently Professor Snape finds me interesting and intelligent enough to be worth his while, Harry,” she said, raising her chin proudly. “He has been very kind and patient with me, Harry, and I am most grateful for it,  _ as you should be _ . Because without his kindness and selflessness you’d be  _ dead _ , Harry.”

The boy nodded, staring at him with a dumbfounded expression. “Yeah,” he mumbled, his whole posture somewhat deflating. Hermione looked at him for a long moment, her eyes glinting with disappointment and fire. 

“Is there anything else you wanted? Because some of us still have homework to do,” she snapped, before getting up from her chair. “Merlin Harry, I thought it was enough that  _ one _ of my friends behaved like an idiot, but apparently I was wrong.”

Potter was silent. He looked like he was still in shock and Severus found himself enjoying the scene in front of him. The idiot had made his own bed, he thought, looking at Hermione calmly.

“I think I am finished here, Severus,” she told him and he could have bet that she was using his given name to make a point. The effect it had on Potter was not lost on him.

“It appears that way,” he said, inclining his head. “Good night, Hermione,” he said, causing Potter to stare at him, like he had just grown a second head. Hermione did not pay the boy any mind though and instead turned around, before storming out of his office. Severus let her go, knowing he would see her later, when he visited her in his Animagus form. 

Instead his whole attention was on Potter, who looked even more uncomfortable now that his Gryffindor friend was gone. Severus looked at the boy with a cool expression in his black eyes, his fingers steepled in front of his chin. 

“Well Potter, you’d better get used to Miss Granger having chosen me as her friend, because I am not planning on going anywhere,” he said, causing the boy to shift uncomfortably on his chair.

“Yes, Sir,” Potter croaked and for once he remembered how to correctly address him. Good. He’d endure the idiot’s presence for Hermione’s sake, but only after having taught him some manners. 

  
  
  
  



	41. An honourable man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, guys. Here’s your next chapter. At the end I tried a new POV, I just could not resist. Tell me what you think about it. :-)
> 
> This chapter was kindly betaed by Justsare. Thanks so much for that!

“Hey Hermione, can we… can we talk?” Harry said. He had come to find her after their DADA class finished and even though Hermione was still mad because of the boy’s abysmal behaviour towards Severus, she knew they had to talk eventually.

She turned towards her oldest friend with an audible sigh. “Of course, Harry. We can always talk, as long as you’re not behaving like an idiot again.”

Hermione pulled the boy into an empty classroom and warded the door as soon as she had closed it behind them. She could see him watching her with a curious expression.

“Did Snape teach you how to do this?” he asked and motioned towards the warded door. “Or did you teach yourself?”

She looked at Harry with a stern expression. “ _ Professor _ Snape taught me how to do the most important wards,” she said, carefully walking towards a desk before leaning against it. “Amongst other things. He is always very generous when sharing his knowledge with me.”

“Is that why you like him?” her friend asked, staring at her with scrutinizing, green eyes. “Because I don’t get it, Hermione. The man has been a git towards you.  He has mocked you more often than I can count and sometimes he’s just been outright mean. Why would you befriend someone like him? And how? When did this happen?” 

Hermione sighed. “He was the one who took care of me after I got wounded in the Department of Mysteries,” she explained calmly, because she could somewhat understand her friend’s confusion. To him, this friendship really must seem strange, even though it was the most natural thing for her these days. “I realized he was totally different when being alone with me and after a while, I realized that this was just the mask he wore in public.”

Harry looked at her with furrowed brows, restlessly pacing the floor in front of her. “What do you mean: ‘He took care of you?’ Did he sit at your bedside or what?”

“Sometimes,” Hermione admitted. “He took care of my medication and as Madame Pomfrey was sometimes busy, he took me for a walk to improve my stamina after being confined to bed for such a long time. We talked, mostly about books as you can imagine. He love s to read, like me, you see?”

Harry nodded, even though his expression was still somewhat pained. “What can I say? Hermione I… I’m happy for you, I’m happy that you found a… friend that seems to share your interests for once. I know it’s sometimes difficult for you with me and Ron being so… different. We never really got your passion for books or for studying and by what you’ve just told me he … does.”

Hermione nodded with a small smile. “Yeah.”

“It’s just all so… strange. He’s our Professor and during classes, he’s still pretty much a git, even though his behaviour has somewhat improved. You know, it’s actually really considerate that he let you read his books as a birthday present. I bet you loved that.”

At that, Hermione could not help but start smiling. Their shared evening at the Timeless collection came back to her mind and suddenly she wished they could go back there, maybe for an extended vacation or something. And who knew? Maybe they would, one day?

“I did,” Hermione admitted, her voice taking on an almost dreamy tone. She did not see the strange look in Harry’s eyes as he saw the little smile playing on her lips, especially as it was gone a moment later.

“Good. But if he hurts you, I’ll get the twins’ help and make his life a living misery,” her friend promised, before pulling her into a spontaneous hug. “You’re the only sensible friend I have, Hermione. You’re almost like a sister to me. If Snape hurts you or uses you for some nefarious scheme, he’ll wish he was never born. You hear me?”

Hermione let go of Harry and looked at him with a confused expression. “I don’t think I know what you’re saying, Harry…”

At that, the boy dug his fingers through his hair. “He’s a  _ man _ , Hermione, a  _ grown man _ . Who says it’s only friendship he wants?” He shook his head with a sigh. “I’m not saying that’s what he’s doing, Hemione. Just, be careful, please. And if he as much as lays a finger on you, you tell me or McGonagall, alright? I won’t stand by and watch you being taken advantage of.”

Hermione nodded, even though the whole conversation suddenly seemed somewhat awkward to her. Severus would never take advantage of her like that. He was an honourable man and sometimes, when Severus left her in the evening and her bed still smelled like him, Hermione wished that he wasn’t. But that was something she hadn’t better tell Harry, not when he had just taken the news of hers and Severus’ friendship so well. 

ssssssss

Severus spent the next weeks closely watching Draco and making a plan on how to get those damned memories from Slughorn. Ever since the old man had mucked up his patrols at Hogsmeade, he had seemed to avoid him like a plague. During dinners he usually sat at the other end of the table now, his eyes watching over his Slytherins with an almost haunted expression. Maybe it was the guilt making him act this way but considering the fact that Severus still needed those memories, it was most inconvenient. But in the end, it did not matter, as Severus could always go back to using Legilimency on him and obliviate the old fart afterwards. Dumbledore had handed him a Carte Blanche here and he was not too shy to use it, if the man did not leave him any other choice.

The relationship between Hermione and her moronic friends still seemed pretty strained. The redhead was usually glued to Miss Brown’s side, or actually her face, but after a while, most people had just started to ignore those two, all except Minerva. She glared at Weasley like he had personally affronted her and more than once the older witch was reported to keep him for detention or take points whenever she found his work too sloppy.

Potter, on the other hand, seemed to at least try to improve his relationship with the girl. He sat with her for meals and he could see them having conversations of sorts, even though both of them looked like they were trying too hard. But they were trying, both of them, and even though Severus did not like Potter, he knew that the boy was important for Hermione and that she would never abandon him. 

In DADA Severus mostly concentrated on Hermione and Potter now. Sometimes he ordered Longbottom as well to duel him, but the boy was surprisingly stubborn and had much more backbone than Severus had deemed possible. And even though the boy hardly dared to throw anything more dangerous than a stunner at him, his shielding skills were truly remarkable. Maybe it was the boy’s wish to protect himself from Severus’ attacks, but Longbottom was as concentrated as Severus had never seen him before. Maybe the boy wasn’t a total disappointment, after all. There was more of his parents in him than Severus had realized so far. 

Draco was an entirely different matter. Severus could tell that the boy was watching him. Twice more he had found him close to the seventh floor, but mostly the blonde wizard kept his head down and avoided trouble whenever possible. Severus would have been relieved about it, if he didn’t have the distinct feeling that the boy was up to something. He couldn’t tell if his godson had been the one attacking Potter, but Severus was sure that whoever tried it the last time, would try it again. They could only hope that Potter’s luck held or they found the attacker before he had the chance to strike again.

“ _ I think Neville is really improving in defence, now, _ ” Hermione told him mentally, while holding their current book for the both of them. “ _ Even though he’s still scared of you, duelling you really helps him. And I think he’s aware of it and appreciating the effort you are making… unlike others. _ ”

Today Hermione was just lazily lounging on her bed, Severus’ Animagus form seated on her pillow, right next to her head, which was resting only a few centimetres away. He was always careful not to touch her, but he could still feel the warmth radiating from her body and he found himself enjoying it way more than he should. Today had been a hard day, the progress he was making with Slughorn frustratingly non-existent, and those one or two hours of peaceful reading were what he had been most looking forward to. 

“ _ He  _ _ has  _ _ definitely improved _ ,” he found himself replying. “ _ He will never be a grand dueller as he is still too hesitant with his attacks. But his shielding skills are decent, which could indicate that he has more interest in protecting himself or others than hurting people. It would speak for his character, if you ask me. _ ”

_ “You think so?” _ Hermione answered, her voice almost hesitant. He could feel her roll over a moment later, until she was lying on her side, her forehead almost touching his feathered chest.  _ “It’s really hard for me, too. I think I could do it, when faced with a real enemy. But I really don’t want to hurt you and I think that’s why I’m not really trying. Even though I would probably never be able to land even a single hit.” _

_ “I’ve had many years of duelling practice,”  _ Severus replied, while his eyes studied the different shades of her curls. Some of them were almost golden, he thought, and felt the urge to touch them again. Luckily he was only in his raven-form now and therefore the urge was much easier to control, as his feelings were partly overlapped with what he called his raven-self. He barely acknowledged it, as those Animagi that were more beast than human had always been a warning to him. But right now it was good to have wings instead of fingers, because those he could not bury in her hair. As a bird he could not kiss her - thank Merlin, as upholding propriety got more and more difficult as the days passed. 

“ _ Being a Death Eater for two decades came with an abundance of violence _ _ ,  _ _ fighting and being bullied at school was also a hard but helpful lesson in self-defence _ ,” he explained calmly. Somehow, with Hermione, he did not mind talking about his past because he knew she would understand. Hermione would not judge or think less of him for the things he had done or experienced.

Hermione nodded, her brown eyes focussing him with an intensity that made his skin prickle. “Harry told me what his father and his friends did to you,” she admitted and a moment later he could feel her fingers gently stroking the feathers of his back. He did not move, did not dare to lean into her touch, even though every fibre of his body wanted to. “For some time I thought Professor Lupin to be a bit like me,” she mumbled, her voice suddenly speaking directly to him, instead of in his mind. “I thought our shared love for books made us alike, but I was wrong. I would have never stood by and watched, while Ron and Harry did such a terrible thing. And I am sure you wouldn’t have either.”

“ _ Of course not _ ,” Severus mentally answered, his heart aching when Hermione removed her hand a moment later, as she got distracted by her large, orange cat, which had just jumped on her bed and walked towards them, its tail proudly raised into the air. Somehow the beast had just ignored the wards Hermione had erected, or better, Hermione had designed them in a way to let the disruptive beast pass. Severus could have sworn the cheeky bugger knew exactly what he was doing, as a moment later the cat rubbed his face against Hermione’s belly, making her hand wander from Severus' head to Crookshank’s fur. 

Severus looked at the beast with small eyes and for a moment he was almost sure that the cat looked back at him with an almost smug expression on his ugly face. Cheeky bugger!

“ _ I would have loved to witness you having a go at Black and his consorts, _ ” Severus admitted, his Animagus form unable to reflect the smile he was feeling. “ _ I would have loved going to school with you, having you as my friend back then. Things could have been so different. _ ”

He rarely looked back at his past but right now he could not help it. He envisioned Hermione there, with him, facing Potter and Sirius with fire in her eyes and her hair prickling with angry energy. It would have been brilliant, he thought. ‘I would have dated her, married her, maybe even sooner than Potter had convinced Lily to do so.’

“I know,” Hermione said, no longer bothering with the mental connection. And even though her fingers were stroking that orange beast of hers now, her eyes remained fixed on him, saying much more than her mouth did. He could have sworn the girl had similar thoughts as he had, but there was no use in mulling over what-ifs. She had not gone to school with him and even though they were still kindred spirits, he was also still her damned Professor. 

For a while they just stared at each other. Severus was not sure what else there was left to say and slowly he could feel the tension between them growing thick with… something. It was probably best if he removed himself from the situation, as staying would probably start being painful… for both of them. 

“ _ I should probably go now _ ,” he said, shaking his feathers before taking some steps back. “ _ I still have some work left and then I do have some things to research, for the Headmaster. _ ” His words were true and still they were only an excuse right now. Usually, he would not have cared how much work there was left, if it still felt like he could stay with her a bit longer.

“Alright,” Hermione said, her eyes trying to hide the sad glint in them. She wanted him here, he realized, but right now he thought it was better if he left anyway. He did not want to destroy the friendship they had just built up and make things awkward between them. “I actually also have some homework left to do.”

She got up from the bed and offered him her hand. Making a quick decision he leapt into the air and landed on her palm. If someone unexpectedly entered that dorm, they would just see Hermione carrying a messenger bird to the window. 

“ _ Good night, Severus, _ ” Hermione told him mentally, while opening the window. 

“ _ Good night, Hermione _ ,” Severus replied gently. Following an instinct he carefully rubbed his beak against her fingers before he took off into the night, missing the cat’s knowing look from the bed. 

Ssssssss

Crookshanks waited for his mistress when she returned to the bed, throwing herself onto the mattress with an emotional sigh. Those humans were really strange sometimes, dancing around each other like a cat would dance around a mouse… no, a snake. A mouse would just be watched for a while until one would pounce at her, but those two had watched each other for  _ ages _ and by now they should have easily made the decision to pounce at each other or look for a better mouse. But neither of them made a move, and instead they skittered away as if afraid that the other one might bite only to start with the watching game anew. Was this a game of sorts? If it was meant as one, it wasn’t overly successful. His mistress was getting more and more agitated the longer the circling and stalking went. It was really tiresome to watch sometimes. Today he had tried to give the raven-man a little nudge, but all it did was drive his mistress’ potential pouncer away. Very strange and confusing. Those humans were strange, dismissing all the right persons for all the wrong ones, like the smelly redhead his mistress had been licking just recently. He could not let that happen again, as  _ that _ particular human had never liked or even accepted him. No, the raven man was nice enough, he had gotten him back to his mistress, after their house had been destroyed. The raven-man would have to stay and with a bit of finesse he could even teach him how to stroke his fur with those long fingers of his  _ just right _ . 

  
  


  
  
  



	42. Dream and reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, guys. Today was just total madness and I am treating myself by publishing a new chapter for you. Because usually, that cheers me up. Enjoy!
> 
> Thank you to my beta Justsare and my helpful human sounding board and mental sparring partner StephanieMRV. And thanks to all of you for still being here. With you fangirling is so much more fun!

“Did you get an invitation, too?” Harry asked her the next morning over breakfast. Just an hour ago a house-elf had delivered a crisp white envelope to her, containing an invitation for the first Slug Club meeting of the year. She had looked at it with furrowed brows for a couple of moments, but when she had become aware of the other girls’ looks, she had hastily thrown it into her school bag and left for breakfast.

“You mean from Professor Slughorn?” Hermione asked while buttering her toast. “I did indeed. I guess it would be impolite to refuse to go, even though I have no idea what this Slug Club is even supposed to be.”

“Professor Slughorn seems to invite students he views as talented or otherwise promising to those gatherings,” Harry explained while digging into his pile of eggs. “Professor Dumbledore told me about it after he and I visited Slughorn during the holidays. My mum was a member of that club once, did you know?”

“No. But you definitely make it sound like it’s worth going there…” Hermione said, completely ignoring the look Lavender bestowed on her. She had decided not to pay the girl any mind from now on, because it was obvious that Lavender strongly disliked her, for whatever reason. “Should we go together then?” she asked, noting that Ron had stopped eating, two places to her right. Idiot. How could he even assume that Hermione and Harry were something more than friends? The thought alone was ridiculous. But sometimes Ron’s jealous streak made him forget all rationality. Still, she had not done anything wrong, not anything at all and therefore she really had no reason to feel guilty.

Harry nodded happily, totally oblivious to what happened around them. “Yeah. Sounds like a good plan. If it’s awful we at least still have each other,” he mumbled and even though Hermione thought the wording was a bit unfortunate, she nodded. 

“Maybe it will even be nice,” she said, smiling a little. “Professor Slughorn is a very nice and competent Professor, after all.”

Harry did not say anything to that, but for a moment she thought he was rolling his eyes at her words. Whatever. Now that she had Severus, Hermione did not care that much about Harry’s approval of her love of learning. It was okay to be different than all the others, because she knew that there was always a person who understood.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


_ “How did your first Slug Club meeting go?”  _ Severus asked while sitting on Hermione’s pillow in his raven form, staring at her with curious, black eyes. They had not properly seen each other the whole day, which would not have been a problem a while ago. But somehow he had not been able to make it through the day without her, his heart aching from being separated from her for too long. 

“ _ Well _ ,” Hermione mumbled while an awkward smile was playing on her lips.  _ “It felt like being under the microscope, to be honest. This dinner was like a never-ending interrogation, mostly focussed on my heritage. Professor Slughorn was of course very polite about it, but… _ ”

“ _ You still felt like an oddity _ ,” Severus finished for her. “ _ You don’t have to say it, Hermione. I was a member of his little club myself when I was still a student. I have suffered through at least twenty of those dinner parties and seen it all play out, in all its awkward, stiff glory. Horace Slughorn advertises being very tolerant towards Muggles, but he still can not help being a bigot.” _

Hermione stared at him with a stunned expression. She probably had not expected him to be so openly disapproving about a colleague. But he had never been one for sugarcoating things.  _ “At least he’s trying to be nice about it. Not like Draco Malfoy. Whenever I spoke he looked like he had an awful smell in his nose, _ ” his friend mumbled, staring moodily at the bed’s ceiling. She was already clad in her pyjamas, as it was already rather late. But luckily the other girls had already gone to bed, so that she could let him into the dorm without problems. And it wasn’t like they had to get up in the morning, as tomorrow was a Saturday. Therefore he could stay a little longer. 

“ _ A bigot is still a bigot, Hermione, no matter how polite they are about it. They will still pass you over for someone of ‘better breeding’ _ ,” Severus said, looking at her seriously. “ _ You do not have to take that kind of behaviour from  _ _ a _ _ ny _ _ one _ _. Do you hear me? _ ”

Hermione nodded, stunned. He knew she would not change her behaviour right away, as she was brought up to be polite and she was still unsure how to navigate the wizarding world. But he would teach her if she let him do it. 

_ “Draco has done that thing with his nose ever since he was a child, by the way, _ ”  Severus said in the hope of lightening the mood again. “ _ Lucius does it, too, which sometimes made me think it was a Malfoy family trait. Do not worry. He will not insult you during those meetings and if he does, Slughorn will not tolerate it. Horace does not tolerate bullying and he is very averse to Death Eaters. I wonder what even made him invite the boy…”  _ Maybe it had been Albus’ idea, he thought. Maybe this was his idea of keeping an eye on Draco Malfoy or to let him connect with people outside his own house. It really wasn’t a bad idea, now that Severus thought about it. Maybe that was also the reason his godson was patrolling the corridors with Weasley now…

_ “Well, Draco is talented with potions. I am sure you as his godfather are aware of that, _ ” Hermione said, a yawn escaping her mouth. Subconsciously she snuggled deeper into her blanket and Severus had to hide the smile that he felt at the sight. It would not take long for her to fall asleep, he thought, and realized that he was looking forward to it. Watching Hermione sleep was one of his favourite things to do, but he rarely stayed long enough for it to happen. Today he had barely arrived though and he could feel the bond urging him to stay a bit longer. He would gladly oblige it, as those were the moments where he could uninhibitedly stare at her and study every freckle and dimple on her relaxed face. 

“ _ I am. He might not show it, but he is working very hard to achieve good grades. Lucius has communicated his desire for his heir to be amongst the best students very unmistakably, _ ” Severus explained while shifting on Hermione’s pillow, to make himself more comfortable. “ _ Not all parents are as understanding and supportive as yours. _ ”  __

_ “I know,”  _ Hermione mumbled, her eyelids slowly dropping. Then, suddenly, he could feel her shift closer, her forehead coming to touch his feathered wing ever so slightly. Severus closed his eyes, determined not to move an inch. The girl was obviously tired and he would not disturb her or make her feel unwelcome by shifting away. No, he would just sit here, enjoying her feather-light touch until she was deep enough asleep, that she would not feel him leaving. It might take a while for her to do so, but it wasn’t like he was in any kind of hurry right now; on the contrary, he had rarely felt so comfortable in his life.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


_ Severus awoke when he felt a body shift against him, mumbling his name accompanied by a delicate, little sigh that went directly to his groin. He knew without a doubt who it was snuggling into him and burying her face into his chest and he realized that he must have unintentionally fallen asleep in her bed. It was time for him to go, to get back to his own chambers before the girl awoke and realized how much he was enjoying himself, because he was, and his body reacted quite unmistakably to the witch in his arms. _

_ “Severus,” he heard her mumble in her sleep, her body pressing even more against him before he heard her awake with a little gasp a moment later. She did not move right away, her mind probably needing a moment to process the situation and following an impulse, he closed his eyes in hopes of being allowed to stay a little longer.  _

_ Finally, he felt her move, her body disentangling from him ever so slightly and while he was still contemplating what she was doing, he suddenly felt her fingers on his face, her fingertips touching his lips ever so slightly. His body reacted instinctively, his arms closing around her possessively while his eyes snapped open, staring at her and searching for an answer to the question, that repeated itself over and over in his head. But he could not find it and instead registered as her pupils widened when she locked eyes with him. _

_ “Sorry, I did not want to wake you,” she whispered, her breath tickling the skin of his neck as she spoke. He shivered.  _

_ “It’s alright, I should go,” he said, willing himself to let her go.  _

_ Before he could make a move though, her hand tenderly cupped his cheek, her eyes looking at him pleadingly as she said: “Please stay. I want you here, with me…” _

_ Somehow he knew that she wasn’t just asking for some more innocent cuddles between friends, but for so much more than that. And for a short moment he considered giving it to her. To hell with what the others thought, she was of age and she wanted him. _

_ But then his mind caught on and the doubts started to creep back. “Hermione I… we cannot… we should not…” he said, but he was unable to move, to pull away. His eyes could not help but focus on her lips, which were opened ever so slightly and glistening with moisture where she must have licked them a moment before. Gods, he wanted to kiss her so bad, to pull her against him but… _

_ He could not finish that thought as she was suddenly moving against him, her eyes never leaving his as she moved closer until her lips finally brushed against his. It wasn’t really a kiss, more a question, or a silent invitation for him to continue, to close that little bit of distance remaining between them. And without consciously deciding to do so he did, his arms cupping her waist while his lips moved against hers slowly and gently. Hermione melted against him with a sigh as she closed her eyes and her thumb brushed against his cheek, his stubble scratching against her skin. She did not seem to mind, as her lips curved into a smile before she kissed him back, her fingers playing with his black hair as she did.  _

_ It felt glorious to just hold her like this, press her against his body while his lips showed her how he felt for her, pouring his heart into every kiss she eagerly received. Kissing her felt so right but also oh so tempting. Gods, it had been ages since he had been with a woman and his body quickly made him realize what he had been missing out on. Every little sigh from her lips seemed to pool up in his stomach, encouraging him to deepen the kiss and pull her even tighter, his right hand wandering down her back ever so slowly until it reached the hem of her pyjama pants. There it stilled, waiting for her to give him permission to move further and the little nod against his lips was all that he needed. His fingers trailed lower, admiring the delicate curve of her arse that seemed to fill his palm just right. Gods, this was heaven and at the same time a torture more intense than he had ever known.  _

_ Severus heard her moan into his mouth, before she deepened the kiss even further, her fingers digging into the hair at his neck, her fingernails scratching his skin just enough to make it obvious that she liked what he was doing. N _ _ either _ _ of them spoke as there was simply no air left to form words with and talking seemed like a waste of time anyway. They understood each other perfectly, using the ancient language of passion. Her shivers and sighs told him everything he needed and wanted to know right now.  _

_ Severus' hands were eager to feel even more of her skin and one of them trailed back upward, following her spine until it reached her shoulder blades, the loose fabric of her pyjama top giving him enough room to explore her back below her clothes. Hermione arched into his touch, before her hands let go of his hair, coming to rest against his chest where they started to fiddle with the small buttons of his robe. He could feel her hands shake a little, if from nervousness or passion he could not say.  _

_ “Not fair,” she mumbled, breaking her kiss to look down at his chest with furrowed brows. “You’re all buttoned up and I don’t think I’m able to undo a single one of them. But I want to touch you, too, just a little…” _

_ Severus smiled down at her understandingly. “I could help you,” he suggested, his hands trailing over her back before letting go of her to get his wand from his sleeve. “It’s just a little flick of my wand.” _

_ Hermione nodded, her eyes staring at him with eagerness and adoration. To see her like this made his heart melt, as well as his resolve to not do this, to wait until she was no longer his student. A silent spell undid the buttons of his robe and the shirt below, making the fabric spring open to expose his pale and almost hairless chest. He could see Hermione’s eyes taking in the sight of him, full of curiosity, her hands reaching for him carefully as if she was afraid he would pull away any second. He did not, but kept himself perfectly still to let her explore his skin without feeling pressed or intimidated. And Hermione did so with growing courage and interest. First her fingers traced his ribs, finding his nipples a moment later, her thumbs stroking them while a little smile broke out on her lips. It was obvious that she had never before touched a man like this and the realization that he was her first, that she chose to do this with him, was almost enough to make him lose his restraint. But he did not, the shiver running through his body the only reaction that could have given him away.  _

_ Severus watched her in fascination for a while and enjoyed the touch of her skin. But finally he could not take it any longer, because he desperately wanted to give something back. His hands reached for her face, cupped her chin and pulled her into a lingering kiss, while his other hand trailed back towards her bum, pulling her closer against his body. She went willingly, one of her legs wrapping around him, so that her midsection was pressed against his straining erection. He groaned at the contact and for a moment she stilled, staring at him with wide eyes, before she continued to kiss him, her hands roaming his chest with nimble fingers. It took all his restraint not to grind into her and instead just to enjoy her attentions, his body not taking more pleasure from her than he was freely given. Still, they lost themselves more and more in their desire, her mouth travelling from his mouth across his face to his throat, kissing and sucking his chest eagerly. It was just when he brushed her hair aside to reciprocate her attentions that he heard her moan… _

...and awoke to the realisation that it had all just been a dream, a dream they had just shared while sleeping wrapped around each other in her bed. But now they were awake, both of them, her eyes staring at him with a mixture of panic, embarrassment and arousal. There was no denying that he had enjoyed their shared dream. His arousal pressing into her thigh made that pretty clear, for both of them. Fuck.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Hermione awoke to the realization that it had all just been a dream and that Severus was still there, right in her arms. He stared at her with wide eyes, his body stiff like he was frozen in place. Merlin, she could have sworn she could still feel him, taste him, and her body was still aching for him in a way that made her feel hot and cold at the same time. Was he feeling the same? Was his heart thumping as heavily in his chest as hers?

“I should go,” Severus whispered, his voice sounding strangely hoarse. Her mind knew he was right, that those feelings for him and the aching for his touch was madness, but on the other hand this whole scene felt like a dejá vu of her dream and she ached to know what kissing him would really feel like. 

“Please don’t,” Hermione found herself whispering, like following an unwritten screenplay that only the both of them knew.

His black eyes stared at her contemplatively, his brows furrowed like he could not understand what she was saying. Was he not feeling the same desire, the same ache to be close to her? Because if she was reading his body language correctly he very much did. 

“Hermione, please, I need to go now,” he murmured, his body suddenly starting to move away from her. “This…”

But she did not want him to continue, did not want him to go and so she did what she had done in her dream; she grabbed the front of his robe and pulled him into a kiss. His lips felt dry and soft against hers and for a moment she could have sworn he kissed her back, his eyes closing for a moment and his lips moving against hers before Severus suddenly pulled away. His eyes were open again and stared at her unreadably, but Hermione still realized that she had made a mistake, that he did not want the same things she did. 

“Hermione, please, this was just a dream. You must not confuse it with reality. I know it’s hard, especially with those… hormones still raging through our bodies. But it is not real, this is not real,” he said, while pulling even farther away. “No matter what you think you’re feeling right now, it is just the dream playing you, playing us. You’re still young, you might not know the difference…”

Hermione could just stare at him, the dream fading more and more into the background leaving her with this strange situation, where she had just kissed Severus, swearing that it was the right thing, only to be pushed back by him. “Severus, I…” she tried, but she did not really know what to say to him. 

“It’s alright. I am not holding this against you. It is not your fault. Let us just… cool down a bit and we will talk about this tomorrow, alright?” her friend said, while carefully getting up from her bed, his body transforming back into his Animagus form. 

“Alright,” she mumbled, because what else was there to say? He did not want her, not in that way at least, and she would have to learn to accept this. Could it be that those dreams were just created by her desire to be more to him, to be more than just a friend? It was possible. 

‘What a mess!’, she thought while carefully climbing out of her bed, opening the window for Severus to get out. She watched him leave her bed and the dorm with three quick strokes of his back wings, his small figure disappearing into the night, while the heaviness in her heart and the aching need in her body remained. It would be impossible for her to fall asleep anytime soon with those feelings still raging through her body. Gods, she wanted to continue her exploration of Severus' body so badly, wanted to see and taste that scar she had felt at his chest. And in the seclusion of her bed she would, Hermione decided, her mind replaying all the details she still remembered from the dream while her hand would take care of the ache she felt. It was probably a mistake to give in to that urge and focus on things that were not meant to happen, but right now Hermione found that she did not care. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	43. Much more enjoyable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends! Here is your next chapter. I hope you like what I did. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to update this story the next time, because next week will be very stressful for me. I might not have time to write at all. We will see. I assure you, I have not forgotten about you. 
> 
> Thank you to the two wonderful ladies assisting me with this story, StephanieMRV and Justsare. 

Severus did not return to the castle that night. He knew he would not have been able to fall asleep anyway and so he instead stayed in his raven form, flying over the tree-tops of the Forbidden Forest and beyond until his muscles hurt and the restless energy that had been flooding his body dissipated. It did not help the ache he was feeling in his heart, but there was nothing he could do against that particular feeling. 

Pulling away from that kiss had been one of the hardest things he had ever done, but it was obvious the girl’s decisions had been clouded by her raging teenage hormones. In the morning she would have regretted whatever would have followed that kiss and Severus could not risk losing her because he did not have control over his traitorous body. 

It was not her fault that she had gotten carried away by her hormones, confusing what she had felt in that dream with the reality. He could have easily made this mistake himself, his body urging him to continue where they had just left off. But he would have never forgiven himself in the morning, when their friendship had fallen apart because he had not been able to keep his fingers to himself. 

His chambers were cold and empty when he finally returned to them after sunrise. Groggily he downed an energy restoring potion and went for a quick shower, carefully washing his hair as he did. For a moment he considered ordering breakfast to his private chambers, but he did not want to give Hermione the impression that he was avoiding her. And so he went, his black robes carefully buttoned up and billowing behind him, as he strode through the corridors towards the Great Hall.

  
  


sssssssss

“You look like hell,” Harry said, his green eyes looking at her in concern. Hermione could not blame him, because she had not been able to fall asleep again, even after her bodily urges had finally been sated. She had been so sure that Severus would welcome her kiss, that he wanted the same as she did. But now in the light of the day she felt stupid for assuming that a grown man and established Professor could ever be interested in an inexperienced girl like herself. Gods, she was so stupid!

“Yeah, that is also pretty much how I feel,” she mumbled, staring at the breakfast table without appetite. From the corner of her eyes she could see that Severus was back at the teacher’s table and by what she saw he looked pretty much like nothing happened, probably because for him nothing had. She sighed. “I just had a rough night, strange dreams and all that.”

Harry nodded understandingly. “Believe me, I know about having  _ those _ . Flying usually helps me to clear my head, but I know this is not how it works for you. Maybe take a walk? Or read a book?”

Hermione looked at Harry with an appreciative smile. “I don’t think I feel like reading very much,” she said, while carefully sipping her black tea. Reading would just remind her of Severus and right now thinking about him and their quiet evenings in bed was nothing that she wanted. “Maybe going outside isn’t such a bad idea. Even if flying is not for me, a walk might be exactly what I need.”

Harry nodded encouragingly. “Do you want me to come with you?”

First, Hermione considered declining Harry’s offer, but walking alone would not help her to distract herself. God, she wished she had somebody she could talk to about this whole mess, but as long as Harry did not manage to learn Occlumency, she would not be able to talk to anybody. But they could talk about other things, could they not? 

“That would be great,” she said, smiling kindly. “We’ve barely had time to really talk to each other, lately. Shall we meet in the Common Room at ten?” 

Harry nodded with a grin. “Sure.”

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Neither of them spoke much on their way through the castle , but as soon as they got outside, Hermione’s mood started to lighten when she spied all the leaves that autumn had painted in a variety of her favourite colours. It was usually around her birthday that autumn really started to hit the country and Hermione found herself staring at the trees with a longing gaze in her eyes. 

“It must be beautiful to just fly above the forest, staring down at this sea of colours,” she mumbled and involuntarily thought of Severus’ animagus form. Maybe she should try to get over her fear of being stuck in an animal’s body and work on transfiguring herself. But who said she would end up with a bird form, in the end? It probably was a longshot…

“It is,” Harry said next to her, his eyes following her gaze to the forest. “You know… I could take you along on my broom if you are uncomfortable using one by yourself. I’d fly  _ very _ slowly of course and we could stay close to the castle. But I could show you the treetops if you like.”

It was a crazy idea, Hermione thought, but maybe crazy was exactly what she needed. Sitting on a broom would definitely take her mind off Severus and the humiliation of being rejected by him - her soul mate. Who would ever want her, if not even he did?

“You don’t have your broom,” she tried lamely but at that Harry’s smile broke out into a grin. 

“I learned to  _ accio _ it more than a year ago, Hermione,” he replied, a twinkle in his eyes. “So that won’t work as an excuse for you.”

She looked at him hesitantly. “Well, why not? Just promise you won’t let me fall from your broom,” she mumbled while chewing on her bottom lip. 

Harry chuckled. “Don’t worry. I’ll hold you tight.”

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“I don’t know how you manage to play Quidditch on this thing,” Hermione mumbled while tightly gripping the handle of the broom. Harry was sitting close ly behind her, his chest pressed against her back while his arms came around her to be able to stabilize the broom and direct them into the right direction. Having him there felt like being hugged by him from behind and with anybody else it would have felt strange, too intimate, but Harry had always behaved like a brother towards her and therefore she was pretty sure that this would not lead to another misunderstanding. Thank Merlin. She’d had enough of  _ those _ in the last weeks. 

“Flying just feels kind of natural to me,” Harry said, while the broom rose higher and higher. It was only a bit further until they would be above the forest and Hermione could feel her heartbeat pick up with every metre they rose further into the air. "Pretty much like reading feels to you, I imagine. For me, it's always an effort to even open a book. I’m more one for learning by doing.”

Hermione nodded understandingly. “I know there are different types of people. Everyone learns differently. I’ve never been very good at sports and I  _ hate _ heights,” she admitted, her heart now thumping heavily in her chest. “And years of watching your Quidditch games being sabotaged haven’t helped to make flying feel safe for me.” 

“Don’t worry, Hermione. We will not be going higher than this. Just enjoy the view, alright?”

Hermione did, her eyes travelling over the seemingly endless forest in front of them. “Harry? Do you think that there’s someone out there, whom we are meant to be with?”

“Dunno,” the boy behind her said, contemplatively. “Maybe for some of us. Why are you asking? Is this about Ron?”

Hermione shook her head, a sad smile playing on her lips. “No, not about Ron. He and I… we are better off as friends, I think ... if he even still wants to be friends with us. Right now I am not so sure what he wants or doesn’t want.”

“That makes two of us then. I threw him out of the Quidditch team, did you know? McLaggen got his place. He’s an arrogant git and probably not much better in accepting orders, but the team would have crucified me if I had kept him after that horrible game just because we’re friends,” Harry told her, his voice sounding sentimental. “Ron did not like it, of course. I don’t see him talking to me anytime soon.”

She nodded sadly. “I’m talking to you. And no matter who else I am friends with, I’ll always be there for you. Do you hear me?”

“Yeah, I know. And I appreciate it, Hermione,” Harry said, carefully stopping the broom until they were just hovering unmoving in the air. “Do you want to go down again? Or do you want to stay a bit longer?”

Hermione considered his words, her eyes taking in the colourful leaves that were stretching out below them like a beautiful carpet. “I think I’d like to stay a little longer if you don’t mind,” she said and Harry behind her chuckled.

“Are you kidding me? We are  _ flying _ , Hermione. For me, it doesn’t get any better than this.” 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus had forced himself to stay away from Hermione for the day. He watched her from afar, during mealtimes and her little excursion with Potter and even though his heart protested at seeing her mount the boy’s broom he told himself that it was none of his business. He had no claim on her, he had denied any attraction towards her just yesterday and therefore he had no right to complain now. But from what he saw, Potter had no romantic interest in Miss Granger anyway, and most of the time the two of them acted like siblings, which made Weasley’s accusations even more laughable. Still, it was strange seeing Hermione with the boy that looked so much like his father and not feel threatened by his closeness to his soul mate. But strangely the bond did not protest like it had done with Weasley, and so Severus had just himself to blame for his current misery. 

As the evening approached he could feel himself growing more and more nervous. By now it was an unwritten agreement between them that Severus would visit Hermione in her bed, but after yesterday entering her bed felt… forbidden. It was his only chance to see her though and with them growing emotionally closer, the bond demanded that they spend some time together . 

When he carefully approached her window, he could see her sitting on the window sill, a book in her hands. It was still early but he had wanted to avoid falling asleep in her bed at all costs, and luckily his friend seemed to have thought the same. He barely landed on the other side of the glass panel, and she was already jumping up and opening the window for him. 

“ _ Severus _ ," she greeted him, her voice sounding somewhat hesitant and small. " _ You came. _ "

" _ Of course I did. Did you doubt I would? _ " he asked, landing on her pillow. " _ We are friends, Hermione, and there is not much you could do that would change that. _ ”

Hermione nodded and slowly walked towards the bed. He could feel the tension radiating from her and he concluded that she had probably started regretting things already. He had known she would. She sat down on her Gryffindor-red blanket and positioned her legs in front of her, so that she could hug them with her arms. She did not say a word though, just stared at him with huge, searching eyes. 

Severus sighed internally. “ _ All that happened was us falling victim to those blasted dreams, Hermione, nothing more. So there is really no reason to feel awkward or ashamed now. Nothing happened.”  _

Finally he saw her nod, a weak smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. It was a start, Severus thought, and was proud with himself for having dealt with that awkward situation so maturely. Everything would be alright, once they had gotten past the initial awkwardness of the situation. 

_ “Alright, sorry,”  _ his friend mumbled, while staring at her knees.  _ “I really don’t want to make this any more awkward than it already is. It is just… it is difficult with those dreams feeling so…” _

She did not finish the sentence, but she did not have to.  _ “They are not, though. Unfortunately I have found no way to influence them, but there might be a way if we start working on it from both ends. It might take a while, but if we are successful we could use those shared dreams for discussing our projects or improving your casting technique. I imagine once we’ve got the hang of it, those dreams could be much more enjoyable, for both of us.” _

Slowly Hermione raised her head, her eyes seeking him out a moment later. “Do you think we could do that? Influence those dreams?” she asked without using their mental connection. But her voice was barely more than a whisper. 

_ “With a bit of practise. Have you heard about the theories dealing with lucid dreaming?” _ he found himself asking and when Hermione shook her head, he started sharing his knowledge in extensive detail. Soon he could see her relax, her eyes taking on a glassy look as she contemplated the information she got from him. Severus decided that he would read more on the topic so that they could finally get rid of those dreams. He was pretty sure they could do it, with him being an expert on mental discipline and Hermione being her curious, studious self. Yes, getting rid of those passionate dreams was the only sensible thing to do. With them gone they would finally be able to concentrate on what was  _ really _ between them, without being distracted by some unrealistic fantasies. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Hermione forced herself to stay outwardly calm while Severus explained to her what she would have to do whenever she went to sleep. The mental exercises reminded her of the things she had read about Occlumency, if only vaguely. This was less about emptying one's mind but more about becoming aware of the dream being just that - a dream. Once they could recognize that they were just having a dream, they would be able to influence it, Severus explained, and Hermione found herself nodding at his words, even though her innards started to feel more and more numb. Severus did not want her as anything more than a friend - a discussion partner - not even in his dreams. Therefore he looked for a way out, assuming that she felt the same, except she  _ didn’t _ . Ever since last night she had been wanting to kiss him again, even if it was only in her dreams. But now even those fantasies would come to an end - sooner or later. Because she had to try implementing his theories, even if it was just for his sake. 

Severus explained that once they had learned to influence those dreams, their nights would get much more enjoyable. So he had  _ not _ enjoyed those dreams, not enjoyed the kisses they had shared. Dammit. Ron had been right. She really was no good at kissing, or any of that other stuff, not even in her dreams. Gods, she really  _ was _ an idiot. But maybe it was like she had told Harry that morning. Some things could not be learned from books, but by practicing them. But the thought of kissing anyone other than Severus made her stomach roil in protest. No, there was no other man she wanted, at least not now. It was Severus or nobody for her - a realization that made her situation look even sadder - because Severus had been pretty obvious that he had no romantic interest in her whatsoever. 

__

  
  
  



	44. Private thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, the week is as challenging as I expected, but I managed to at least write a bit. Now I have the urge to treat myself by publishing a new chapter. 
> 
> You know the girl’s helping me with my story already (StephanieMRV and Justsare) but I can’t thank them enough.

Hermione spent the next days buried in her books, barely speaking, and no one, not even Severus or Harry, questioned her about it. There was not much she really  _ had _ to do for school right now, but every minute she spent studying was one minute she did not spend thinking about Severus or the fact that he did not like her the way she liked him. 

Whenever he visited her in her dorm now, he shared new insights on lucid dreaming. It was the thing he seemed to spend most of his free time researching, usually returning to the Room of Requirement after only thirty minutes of visiting her. He was always kind, always seemed relaxed in her presence, but he never stayed long and Hermione got the impression that there was now an invisible wall separating them, keeping them apart. And she hated it. But at the same time, she felt ungrateful for thinking so. Having Severus as a friend was so much more than she could have ever hoped for. His intellect was stimulating and challenging her in a way that Ron and Harry never could. Severus understood her in a way that nobody else ever had and she was grateful, but she could not help but yearn for more. 

Gosh, it wasn't so long ago that she had sworn not to ruin their friendship by doing something stupid, like kissing him, and even though she  _ had _ , Severus had been forgiving and not made a fuss about it, even though he was her Professor and she had probably endangered his job by doing so. Merlin, why was she so unhappy about the situation? Because she had no right to be. 

Most of their time was spent with Severus talking about the new knowledge he had acquired and even though they had not made any progress in the area of lucid dreaming so far, they had not shared another dream either. And Hermione did not know if she was relieved or disappointed about it. 

Then, almost two weeks later, her evening routine was suddenly interrupted by a squeaky voice: “Headmaster Dumbledore asks Miss Granger to join him in his office, please,” a young, so far to her unknown house-elf said. He must have appeared on her bed, while she had been absorbed by her book on privacy wards. “He has left Sparkly a scroll for young Miss and said that he would be happy to see her for tea tomorrow.”

“Alright, thank you Sparkly,” Hermione mumbled, a thankful smile on her lips. And before she could say anything more, the little servant bowed and disapparated again. Hermione stared at the spot where he had just disappeared for a while longer, before she unrolled the scroll containing a polite but vague invitation as well as the password to the Headmaster’s office. She wondered what Professor Dumbledore wanted from her but she guessed she would find out – tomorrow afternoon.

Ssssssss

“Ah, Miss Granger! Do come in!” Albus invited the girl standing hesitantly in his office door. Ever since she had saved Severus with white magic, he had not spoken to her, as he wanted to give things time to settle down a bit. Apart from that Miss Granger and Severus seemed to be doing well enough on their own, for now.

Miss Granger slowly sat down on the chair he had prepared for her. He had decided to offer her the big, cushioned one as he wanted her to feel comfortable and welcomed for this conversation. “Thank you for accepting my invitation. How are you, my dear? You look a bit tired...”

The girl smiled weakly. “I am well enough, thank you, Sir. May I ask why you invited me here?“ 

“Ah, you want to get right to the point, I see,” he said, watching her in amusement. The girl had changed since their first interaction this summer. She behaved less awe-struck in his presence and instead stared at him with a careful, calculating expression, one he had seen so often on Severus. The man had changed her, and Albus did not only mean that Miss Granger held herself much more confidently and maturely now. “Some weeks ago I talked about the possibility of you joining the Order, my dear. Now that your birthday has passed, I wanted to inquire if you have given this possibility some thought.” 

“I have,” she replied, while her eyes remained fixed on his midnight-blue coloured robe. “But I have not reached a conclusion yet. I think it would depend on what you wanted me to do, Sir. Is there anything you would want my help with?”

“Not at this moment, my dear. But you see, you joining the Order would make it possible for me to give you special training. For example, I think it will be necessary for you to learn Occlumency. You are aware of the unfortunate mental connection Harry has to Voldemort, are you not?”

“I know that they seem to be mentally connected in some way,” the girl admitted carefully. “Which is why I am unable to tell Harry certain things. I thought this was why he had to learn Occlumency – to protect his mind. Why do I need to learn it, too? I was not aware that the other members of the Order were schooled in it.”

Albus smiled. Of course, the clever girl had quickly found the weak point of his argument. “Most of them are not, Miss Granger. But most of them are also not friends with Harry or have access to Kindred Magic. We do not know if Lord Voldemort could use his connection to your friend to control him, or invade your thoughts, but I think it possible. Therefore I find it strongly advisable for you to learn to protect your secrets and if things go well, you could also help Harry to improve his Occlumency skills as well. What do you say?”

Miss Granger furrowed her brows as she contemplated his words. He had not expected her to be this hesitant, as he had gotten the impression that the girl eagerly sought out any form of knowledge. Maybe she would agree if he sweetened up the deal for her? “You would not have to be instructed by me, if that is in any way uncomfortable for you. I am sure Professor Snape could be persuaded to assist you, if that would be preferable for you.”

“No!” the girl interjected, her eyes suddenly looking almost panicked. “He can’t...” she caught herself and Albus could see her taking a deep breath, her composure returning almost immediately. “Is there no one else that could teach me?”

He stared at her contemplatively. That wasn’t the reaction he had expected to this suggestion at all. What had his idiot of a DADA professor done now? He sighed. “There are only very few people able to do Occlumency, Miss Granger. At Hogwarts the only other person is me. I would be willing to teach you once a week, if that is what you prefer.”

The girl stared at him silently for a long while, her eyes dancing from left to right, as if she was skipping through the pages of an invisible book. “What about people outside Hogwarts? Maybe Tonks would be willing to assist me or... I don’t know...”

“Occlumency is unfortunately not part of the standard Auror training program. But I could request Alastor Moody, if you would prefer being taught by him,” Albus suggested, irritated by the girl’s resistance. But it was not long until she shook her curly head in declination of his offer.

“No, I was hoping for a female instructor,” she admitted, her cheeks growing pink. “But if there is none available...” The girl started chewing on her bottom lip. “And you think I really should try to learn it, Sir? You think that my secrets would otherwise be in danger of being discovered?”

He nodded without hesitation. “I do. It is not only because of your friendship with Harry. But one day your connection to Professor Snape might be discovered and that could make you a target, too. I do not mean to frighten you, but I want you to be prepared for the worst case. I do not know what Tom would do or would not do if he discovered that you are able to perform white magic...”

The girl swallowed nervously. “I will learn it, then. That is if you would be willing to teach me, Sir.”

He nodded, a reassuring twinkle in his eyes. “Most definitely. I was told you are a very enthusiastic student, Miss Granger. Maybe we will not need more than a few lessons and I assure you, that I will be very discreet with whatever I discover from your mind. I could also offer you my pensieve, to protect your most sensitive memories.”

Miss Granger nodded, now seeming very much reassured. Good. Persuading her had been harder than he thought. He would have to be careful not to lose that hard-gained trust from her. No, he would nourish it by tutoring her and giving her as much knowledge as she desired. Given the circumstances, he wanted Hermione Granger firmly on his side of the war, and Severus and Harry with her.

Sssssssss

_ “Alright, Hermione, I will be going now,” _ Severus said, already moving his Animagus form towards the edge of Hermione’s mattress.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw her nod. “ _ Alright. Good night, then. I don’t think we will be able to see each other tomorrow, though. I do have classes with the Headmaster after dinner. _ ”

Severus stilled in his movements, his mind going blank. “ _ What kind of classes?” _

Hermione shrugged, a guilty smile forming on her lips. “ _ Occlumency. He said I would need to learn, with Harry’s mental connection to You-Know-Who and us being... linked. _ ”

“ _ I see _ ,” Severus replied, but he could feel his innards turn to lava or ice – he wasn’t sure which one it was. “ _ I could have taught you, I still could. You don’t have to endure Dumbledore snooping through your mind. _ ”

But his friend just shrugged. “ _ It is fine, Severus. The Headmaster offered me his Pensieve, to protect my secrets. He has been very kind.” _

“ _ I am sure he was, _ ” he bit out, before turning to leave.  _ Old meddling goat! What was Albus playing at now? _ Severus could see this move clearly for what it was, his last discussion with the manipulative bastard still fresh in his mind. He had told Albus that before Hermione could learn about Harry’s condition, she would have to learn Occlumency. And it seemed like his friend had agreed to do just that. Fuck. 

It looked like his research in the Room of Requirement would have to wait a bit longer, because it looked like a visit to the Headmaster was in order. If he found out the man was trying to manipulate Hermione in some way, he would choke him. Hermione was  _ his _ and he would not allow her to become the old man’s chess piece. “ _ Good night, then _ ,” he said, his voice sounding colder than he had anticipated. 

Hermione did not comment on it though. She only wished him good night, her eyes glistening with emotions he could not decipher.

Ssssssss

“What do you think you’re doing, old man?” Severus sneered, while waltzing into the Headmaster’s office. Albus was sitting at his desk tinkering with one of his hundreds of inventions, that were scattered on almost every surface now. How could the man endure all this ticking and whirring all day without going mad? 

“Ah, Severus,” the man said, his eyes twinkling knowingly. “I have been expecting you. Sit down, sit down.”

Severus huffed and sat down in front of the man’s desk, his black eyes staring at him calculatively. “Miss Granger said you will be teaching her Occlumency.”

“I will,” Albus said, an almost amused smile playing on his lips. “We both established the girl would have to learn, before she can learn more. But I also explained to her, that she will want to protect you, in case your connection ever becomes common knowledge. I am sure you are aware that it is only a matter of time before people will notice. This castle is full of very observant people and bored portraits.” Albus smiled, and Severus needed all his self-control not to sneer at him. That old fool really needed to learn to mind his own fucking business. 

“Doesn’t mean you need to be the one teaching her. She’s  _ mine _ , Albus. I should be the one allowed to do it,” he said, staring at the man with a hard expression. But at that Albus’ eyes only seemed even more amused.

“Actually I did suggest that you could be the one teaching her. I assumed she would jump at the possibility of being tutored by you. Interestingly she was most adamant that you should  _ not _ be the one teaching her. Therefore I offered myself as an alternative and she accepted, if very reluctantly,” Albus explained with a twinkle in his eyes. 

Severus stared at the man with a dumbfounded expression. “I don’t understand…” he said, while his mind already began to mull over the possible reasons why Hermione had rejected him as an instructor. 

Albus smiled knowingly. “I imagine there is something she does not want you to find out, Severus. Has there been a recent misunderstanding between you? Has something happened?”

Severus found Albus’ blue eyes studying him with an intensity that was almost uncomfortable. “Yes. No. Maybe,” he said, their shared dream and its consequences instantly coming to his mind. Fuck. He had not thought she still had problems with that little encounter. He needed to talk to her, as soon as the chance arose. Until then he needed to work harder on his skills for lucid dreaming. Hopefully, Hermione would feel more comfortable in his presence again, as soon as she did not have to fear sharing another awkward dream with him again. 

Sssssssss

Hermione was terribly nervous when she approached the Headmaster’s office the following evening after dinner. Even though Professor Dumbledore had assured her that she would be allowed to use his Pensieve, she felt nervous about having him in her head, especially after the things Harry had told her about his own Occlumency lessons with Severus. True, Severus had never been one for coddling his students, but who said that it would not be the same with the Headmaster? She did not know his teaching methods, his motives, or, well… him. Was he really as cold-hearted and calculating as Severus described him? It was possible, which made her dread this lesson even more. But it did not matter; having Professor Dumbledore in her mind was still better than having Severus discover her feelings for him - her  _ ungratefulness _ . She did not want to ruin what they had and if she could only do that by keeping her attraction to him a secret, then so be it. 

“Ah, Miss Granger. Do come in,” Albus Dumbledore invited her as soon as she had reached the end of the staircase leading into his office. “You are precisely on time, as always.”

Hermione stepped into the room, noting that it was strangely devoid of all the strange objects that were usually scattered on several surfaces. Today they were all packed away, so that the room was strangely silent. “Thank you, Sir,” she said, sitting down on the comfortable chair in front of the man’s desk. “I must admit that I am a bit nervous about today, Sir. It is just that the prospect of having somebody else in my head is a bit…”

“Frightening? I can imagine,” the old man said with a kind smile. “But I can reassure you, my dear; I will  _ not _ enter your mind today. First, we will make sure you have all the knowledge you need. I am sure you have already informed yourself of what will be required of you to do.”

Hermione nodded, a shy smile on her lips. “I have indeed. The theory is very fascinating, Sir, and I did try to implement it in the past. But don’t think I was very successful.”

“I am sure your talent for self-organization will have you pick up the necessary techniques in no time. We will use today’s lesson to broaden your knowledge and afterwards I will tell you about possible ways to hide your secrets and thoughts,” the Headmaster said, pushing up the half-moon-glasses on his crooked nose. “So tell me, Miss Granger. What do you think is the most important thing when one wants to occlude one's mind?” 

Hermione thought for a long moment, several possible answers rushing through her mind. But finally, she said: “I think it is self-control, Sir.” And when she saw the Headmaster’s encouraging smile on his lips, she started to explain why that was.

  
  



	45. Cause and effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends. It has been a hard week and I had barely time to write. But I have been working on another very exciting project. I have commissioned an illustration for chapter 27 (the crystal cave) from the talented KlausWanderer. It is a truly stunning piece of art! You can view it on Tumblr (my account name is Ralina003) if you are interested. 
> 
> Thanks to my two favourite ladies StephanieMRV and Justsare for helping with this story.

Ever since the new school year potions had become one of her favourite classes at Hogwarts. Yes, Professor Slughorn’s teaching methods were very different from Severus’ and even though Severus was her friend, she had to admit that it was a good thing. While she  herself  didn’t mind her friend’s snarkiness, the insults he bestowed on  her friends could be a bit much,  and more than once she had felt terribly sorry for poor Neville, who could have done much better in potions if he hadn’t been terrified of Professor Snape . Even though Hermione had learned a lot from Severus, his classes had never been very  _ enjoyable,  _ even if they had been very educational. 

“Today we will be brewing a batch of Energy Replenisher,” Professor Slughorn said while looking at them with kind, watery eyes. “I imagine I don’t have to explain to you what it is used for, because in my times the potion was fairly popular during exam times, even though our nurse was pretty hesitant to hand it out. I imagine it is the same these days.”

There were agreeing murmurs throughout the classroom, but Hermione stared at the older man with furrowed brows. The only person that ever offered the potion to her was Severus, but maybe that was because she had never dared to ask Madam Pomfrey for something to make up for her lack of sleep. But could she have? Probably, even though that somehow would have felt like cheating. 

“This is why you should be especially careful with your potion today. Because all of you who have acceptable results will be allowed to keep their potions. How does that sound?”

The class broke out in agitated murmurs and Hermione, too, found herself excited at the idea. The one time she had taken an Energy Replenisher had felt brilliant. All traces of tiredness had been totally blown away. And by her calculations, the amount they would make in class would be enough for at least 4 phials. Brilliant!

She immediately set herself to work, carefully slicing and mincing the ingredients as described in the recipe. She knew it by heart, of course, as well as the changes Severus had made to it in his days as a student. This shouldn't be too difficult.

“Hey Malfoy, be careful!” Harry suddenly shouted next to her, staring at the pale blonde boy with a thunderous expression on his face. When Hermione turned towards them she could see that all her ingredients were strewn all over the floor, while Malfoy was looking at her with an almost guilty expression. 

“Next time better put your stuff in the middle of the table, Granger. Things could fall down to the floor when someone is walking past your table otherwise,” he said with a sneer, before turning around and walking away with his chin held high. 

“Arsehole,” Harry cursed, hastily kneeling down to help her pick up her stuff. He could see Professor Slughorn hurrying to help them. Hermione hastily bent down and collected the Asphodel Root, while Harry whispered towards her: “Gods, I hate that guy. I bet he did that on purpose. Your stuff is never close to the corner of the table. You’re way too careful with your equipment for that.”

Hermione nodded, angrily chewing on her bottom lip. She could only hope that her ingredients were still all right and had not gotten contaminated while lying around on the floor. “I know,” she mumbled and nodded towards Harry, to thank him for his assistance. 

“Everything all right here, Miss Granger?” Professor Slughorn asked, looking down at her and Harry with a worried expression. “Ah, I see young Mister Potter has already been a gentleman and assisted you. Very good, very good. Now get to work, you two. If you want to brew that potion successfully, you are on a tight schedule.”

Hermione nodded. Professor Slughorn was right. They had better get to work immediately. Because she would not let Malfoy get in the way of her good grades and those potions she could earn for herself. 

  
  


Ssssssss

Severus was just in the middle of teaching a class of second years when he felt his bond flare up in alarm and pain. There was a burning pain all over his left side accompanied by the feeling of panic hitting him like a bludger and it took all his self-control to not stumble backwards or show the panic that had just gripped his heart. Hermione! Something was wrong, terribly wrong. 

“Stop,” he told the students that had just gotten their instructions and were about to start practising the jinxes he had shown them. But that would have to wait. Hermione needed him,  _ now _ . “You’re dismissed,” he barked, already hurrying towards the door. “Get to your Common Rooms. No homework today.” That was all he could grit out, before he was out of the room, hurrying towards the hospital wing with quick steps. He did not even have to ask where Hermione was, as the bond clearly guided him and urged him to hurry. Fuck.

When he reached the room, Poppy was already buzzing through the room, while Slughorn stood in the door, wringing his hands in agitation.

“What happened?” Severus bellowed, brushing past the useless idiot, hurrying towards Hermione’s bed. 

“Severus! Thank god you’re here!” the medi-witch shouted, her eyes wide with worry. “Potions accident. Mr Potter’s cauldron blew up,” she explained, motioning towards Potter, who writhed on the bed in obvious agony. His body was covered in green goo that seemed to attack his skin like some kind of aggressive acid and a glance at Hermione showed that the same had happened to the left side of her body and face. Fuck!

“What potion?” he bellowed, already taking out his wand and starting to cast cleaning charms, removing the potion from Hermione’s face and body layer by layer after giving her one of his personal pain potions, which he always carried with him. From the corner of his eye, he could see that Poppy had started treating Potter the same way, while Slughorn, the useless idiot, seemed frozen in the doorway. 

“We’ve just been brewing Energy Replenishers,” he said, a confused expression on his face. “It’s a harmless potion, Severus. It’s almost impossible for somebody to ruin it enough to cause such a reaction…” he tried, but Severus had already stopped listening to the imbecile. 

He just nodded, before focussing all his attention on Hermione, who was staring at him with one wide, terrified eye. Her other one was closed, the eyelid swollen and covered in thick, red blisters, that seemed to boil on her skin. Gods, he had seen a lot of potions accidents in his career as a Potions Professor, and even though a number of them had been worse than this one, seeing Hermione like that ripped his carefully built up walls apart. Fuck! Slughorn, the worthless idiot, should have vanished the potion right away, instead of bringing them here. Gods, once he had sorted out that mess he would kill the idiot for not paying better attention in his own potions class. Potter would be next, he swore, that useless, scatterbrained  _ moron _ . Hadn’t the boy learned anything in the years he attended potions classes with him? 

After a while he could see Slughorn leaving, probably to sort out the mess he must have left in his classroom. Severus did not mind to see the useless idiot go.

“We will have to get them out of their clothes and wrap their skin in bandages coated in Regenerative Skin Tonic,” Poppy urged, before rushing to his side. “I will treat Miss Granger, while you’re taking care of Mister Potter. I will get the screens up, to protect the girl’s modesty.”

Severus wanted to growl at the old witch, to tell her to piss off and leave him and his mate alone. But he had no right to because the Medi-Witch was right. Hermione was a young, unattached female, his student. It would be highly inappropriate to undress her, even if only to  _ treat _ her, but leaving her to the nurse while taking care of Potter felt wrong. Still, he had to do it - no matter if he liked it or not. But he would be back at her side, as soon as the situation allowed it and then nobody would make him leave her, not even Poppy or Voldemort himself.

He treated Potter with cool professionalism, undressing him and taking care of his wounds with careful precision, after having given the boy something against the pain. Potter swallowed the potion greedily, his green eyes fixed on his face with an unreadable expression. Once it would have unsettled him to see Lily’s eyes staring up at him like that, but now he realized that his former best friend no longer had any power over him. Yes, Harry was Lily’s son, but that no longer held any significance for him. Still, the boy was Hermione’s friend, which made Severus still do his best to help him. He was confident that the damaged skin and the muscle below would heal and that there would be no scars left. Hermione and Potter had indeed been lucky that he had felt Hermione’s need for his assistance through the bond. If Poppy had been forced to treat both of them at the same time, things would have ended much differently - for both of them.

  
  


Sssssssss

Hermione did not know when exactly the day turned out to be a total nightmare. She had not been aware that something was wrong until the moment Harry’s cauldron exploded, throwing the boy against her right side so that only her left side was sprayed by whatever Harry had been brewing there. The green slime burned on her skin like fire or acid, but instead of screaming like Harry and most of the other students did, she did the only sensible thing that came to her mind: she called for Severus. From there on she seemed to view the chaos playing out around her, like her mind was in some way detached from her body. Some girls were screaming, or crying, while Harry thrashed and moaned in front of her on the floor.

“The hospital wing! We need to get them to the hospital wing!” somebody, probably Professor Slughorn, shouted and it was only a few moments, until they were levitated out of the room by their Professor, leaving the chaos of the classroom behind.

It was only minutes until her friend was by her side, helping her, the steady look in his eyes assuring her that he would take care of things. She trusted him, with her life and her beauty, or whatever would be left from it after that horrible accident. Were wizards able to regrow skin without leaving scars? Or would Harry’s mishap leave her disfigured and even less desirable than she had already been before? She did not know and the only things that kept her panic at bay were Severus’ eyes and the feelings of reassurance seeping through the bond.

That was, until Severus was suddenly gone, his calm presence exchanged for Madam Pomfrey who started to undress her, pity shining in her eyes. Hermione wanted to protest, to demand for Severus to return to her side, but as she had followed his and the medi-witch’s conversation she knew that this would not be possible. Severus would not be allowed to treat her any further, as propriety seemed to forbid such a thing. Gods, she had never hated propriety as much as right now. She did not care if Severus saw her exposed or if he touched her skin. She trusted him more than she trusted anybody else in this world. He was her friend and he had made it more than clear that he had no interest in touching her in an inappropriate way. But that, she could not say, because apart from the fact that her mouth did not seem able to form coherent words at the moment, nobody would have listened to her anyway.

It seemed to take ages for Madam Pomfrey to finish her treatment, but finally Hermione’s body was wrapped in clean, horrible smelling bandages that probably made her look like a mummy. Even one of her eyes was covered, leaving her totally helpless and unable to see much. Only her right eye, arm, and leg and her mouth and nose were uncovered and she could imagine that Harry must look even worse. But there was no chance for her to check, as the white privacy screens were pulled close, leaving her totally isolated as Madam Pomfrey finally left her side.

She could not say how long it was that she stared at the ceiling, her mind buzzing with panic, helplessness and confusion of what had happened. Then, suddenly Severus was back and Hermione could see him sit down on a chair to her right, the familiar buzz from the privacy wards signalling that he had put them into place. His dark eyes stared down at her with an intensity that took her breath away and a moment later she could feel him taking her hand, holding it gently but firmly with both of his palms.

“You will be all right, Hermione, I promise,” he said, his deep voice sounding firm and reassuring. “Whatever absurdity Potter created in his cauldron – it did not have time to do irreparable damage to either of you. Still, healing will take time, especially for him, as he does not have a Kindred Spirit able to assist with that.”

Severus gently squeezed her hand and just then she became aware of the magical energy flowing into her, buzzing warm and reassuringly through her veins.

Hermione nodded, a gentle, thankful smile forming on her lips.

“Thank you,” she croaked out, a lonely tear running down her cheek. Her voice sounded somewhat strange and slurred, probably because the pain potion he had given her had started to relax her facial muscles, making it hard for her to speak. “I’m so glad you came. I wish you could stay.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Hermione,” he promised, a gentle smile on his lips. “No one will take me away from your side, as long as you want me here.”

“I always want you here,” she admitted seriously, her uncovered eye staring unblinkingly at him. There was so much more she wanted to say, which she could not, but she hoped he still somehow understood.

For a moment he did not say anything, just stared at her like he was trying to decipher the meaning of her words. Finally he blinked, shook his head and said: "You should try to rest for a bit, sleep if you can. I cannot give you another potion for a while, but my magic and your own should be enough for now.”

“ ‘m not tired,” Hermione mumbled and it was true. Her body was still full of adrenaline, even though the danger had long passed for her. But her fingers were still trembling in Severus’ hands and her heart was beating wildly in her chest. “I can’t stop thinking about what happened, Severus,” she slurred, her one eye seeking him out. “What if this wasn’t Harry messing up his brewing? Draco Malfoy had been at my table and somehow my things were suddenly on the floor. Harry helped me to pick them up. I know it doesn’t have to mean anything, but…”

Some months ago she wouldn’t have dared to accuse Malfoy of something, especially not to Severus Snape, who was his godfather. Now everything was different, though, and Hermione trusted him to at least listen to her. And he did. 

“You think Draco could have done something to Potter’s cauldron? Did you see him doing something?” he asked, his eyes staring at her contemplatively. 

“I don’t know, not really. It is just a feeling I’m having. Someone wanted to kill Harry just a few weeks ago. What if this was his or her second attempt?” she asked, her voice quivering slightly. “I really don’t want to make any false accusations, especially as I have no proof, but I just can’t stop thinking about it…”

Severus nodded slowly. “I see. Unfortunately there is not much we can do now, as the classroom has surely been cleaned up by now. Do you think Mr Potter would agree to me watching his memory of this last lesson? Maybe I would notice something he has not…”

Hermione looked at him anxiously. It was an idea and maybe their only chance to check if Harry’s potion had been tampered with. 

“I don’t know,” Hermione murmured. “But you could ask him. If he refuses I could at least show you mine…” she suggested, even though her heart was starting to beat even faster at the thought of Severus accessing her mind and accidentally discovering what she desperately tried to hide. 

Severus nodded, his eyes studying her intensely. “I will ask him right now, if you wish.”

Hermione nodded. “Yes, please.” 

She really wanted Severus to look into this, even if this meant she would have to let go of his hands. But if someone really had tried to assassinate Harry for a second time, they had to find him rather sooner than later.

  
  


Ssssssss

When Albus entered the Hospital Wing after having received Severus’ Patronus, he found the man sitting next to Miss Granger’s bed, their fingers entwined. The girl and Harry were in a horrible state, their bodies covered in white bandages from head to toe. But as Severus was not raging or seeming in any other way agitated, he concluded that at least Miss Granger would be fine after Mr Potter’s little mishap. 

He could see Poppy busying herself in another corner of the room, while her eyes trailed back to Severus and Miss Granger several times while he slowly walked through the room. It was obvious that she was questioning Severus’ motives or the history behind the man’s unexpected show of affection and Albus decided that it was necessary to speak to her rather sooner than later. Even though she was already partly aware of this extraordinary bond, she did not seem to have fully understood what it meant for Miss Granger and her Professor. He would have to spell it out for her and demand her silence before transfering the girl into the private ward afterwards. Because the last thing they needed now was those two shying away from each other, because they could not deal with the backlash that would surely follow to such a revelation.

Harry too seemed awake, his eyes fixed at the ceiling. But Albus could read from his face, that something was wrong. It did not take long for Severus to tell him what exactly it was. 

“Someone has tampered with the boy's potions book,” Severus explained, his face grave. “Mr Potter kindly agreed to let me view his memories of the event and as I watched him brewing, the instructions for the potions were clearly wrong. The potion was  _ meant _ to explode, Albus. The recipe was  _ designed _ that way.” 

Albus cursed internally. “So it seems that whoever is attempting to kill Harry is in the castle or maybe even in his potions class,” he concluded, but at that Severus shook his head.

“Not necessarily. The book could have been manipulated in the boy’s common room or even during mealtimes. I did not find any direct evidence that the recipe was rewritten during Mr Potter’s class. But there are two things we can say for sure, Headmaster. The assassin is inside the castle, and he has not given up after his first failed attempt to kill the boy.”

Albus nodded, his stomach growing heavy with worry. This development was indeed worrisome, especially as this recent murder attempt had not only almost cost Harry’s life, but Miss Granger’s too. If either or both of them had died, it would have been a heavy blow for their side.

They needed to do something, but once more Tom seemed to have positioned his pawns very carefully. Therefore planning his next move would be most difficult, as Albus could still not see all the moves that had already been made. And that was a thing he did not like at all. 

Sssssss


	46. By your side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends. Today was a good day and I could finish another chapter, which is why you’re getting an update today. I hope you’ll enjoy what I have for you. Let me know if you do. Your words are keeping me motivated. 
> 
> This chapter was kindly betaed by Justsare. Thanks for that, my friend!

Harry and Hermione were transferred to private rooms within the Hospital Wing shortly after Albus left and instructions to move their things to private  quarters  within the castle were left with the house-elves. Severus was impressed. The Headmaster seemed to have finally understood what a dangerous situation they were all in. All it took was for The-Boy-Who-Lived having almost died under their watch,  _ twice, _ within the month. It was a disaster, especially with them still being totally clueless of who the assassin was. 

Draco was indeed the only suspect they had, for now, and even though Severus still doubted that Lucius’ spoilt brat had the guts to attempt murder twice, he decided to investigate the boy - thoroughly. But only after Hermione had recovered, because as long as she was still healing he would stay at her side, so that his magic would help her heal. 

Luckily Albus was fully supporting him in that endeavour, having granted him access to the girl’s hospital room day and night as long as Hermione agreed to let him stay - which she clearly communicated to the Headmaster and the worried medi-witch. 

This time Albus was not sugarcoating anything, and he told Severus that there would be an announcement in the Great Hall explaining that Harry’s accident had not been an accident at all and that Potter, as well as Hermione, would no longer live in Gryffindor tower for the time being. Strictly speaking, transferring Hermione would not have been necessary. But doing so would make his daily visits much easier and minimise the risk of being detected, for now. 

And so it was early afternoon when Severus found himself alone with Hermione in her sickroom, the girl carefully positioned on a large four-poster bed in neutral colours, while he was sitting on the chair next to it, holding her hand. Not that Hermione was awake any longer. She had fallen asleep only minutes after they were finally alone, far away from any danger or prying eyes. Finally! Her body needed the rest to restore the magical energy it used to regenerate those ghastly wounds. Yes, she would be fine in the end, but the healing process would without question tire her out. But he would be there to help her and support her every step along the way.

Sssssssss

When Crookshanks entered his mistress’ new, improvised chambers, he could only wrinkle his nose at the strange smell of the room. The air was thick with strange fumes that insulted his nose and almost made his eyes water, but his Missy needed him, as did the raven man sitting next to her bed. Today he wore a grave expression, staring at the girl’s unmoving form with worried eyes. And Crookshanks could easily see why that was.

His mistress’ body was wrapped in those smelly white things, for some reason. Those humans did the strangest things sometimes. The raven man seemed worried, though, and Crookshanks did not like that at all.

With slow steps he walked closer, staring at his mistress’ bed for a while before deciding that he did not want to get too close to those white, smelly things. The smell would be almost impossible to get out of his fur. No, the raven-man’s lap seemed a much better place for him right now. With his mistress asleep he was the much more promising option, not only because he smelled much nicer. But with a bit of luck, he could also be persuaded to stroke Crookshanks’ fur. Most humans came to like doing that after only a few moments of enjoying his purrs. It was best if he seemed overly enthusiastic today. Then the raven-man would hopefully stroke him long enough to learn just how Crookshanks liked it best. Those long fingers looked very promising in that aspect, even though one of the man’s hands seemed currently occupied with stroking his mistress’ fingers. But that was all right. Crookshanks could share the raven-man with her. He was a very generous cat, after all.

Ssssssss

When Hermione woke up the room around her was already dark, except for the small blue light orb that seemed to float around Severus, who was still sitting by her side. Hermione was not sure if he had moved at all; probably not, as she would most likely have woken up, if he had let go of her hand. But it must have been hours for him and apart from the fact that he had probably needed the loo or something, he didn’t even seem to have a book at hand.

“You’re still here,” she mumbled, her uncovered eye looking at him, full of gratitude.

“I told you I would not leave, Hermione. I meant it,” he said in a serious tone.

She smiled. “I know you did. But I also know you’ll have to leave at some point, if only to get something to eat or have a quick shower.”

He waved her off with an amused smile. “Unimportant. I can eat as soon as you are better, Hermione. Do not worry about such trivialities.”

She stared at him in confusion. “Your own needs are no triviality, Severus. Or would you want me to starve myself for your sake? I will be fine on my own for a few minutes, I promise.”

Severus stared at her contemplatively before he finally nodded. “Very well. I will be back in half an hour, Hermione, no more. Is there anything you want me to get for you, apart from your cat - who seems to have found his way on his own?”

Hermione considered his question for a moment. “Maybe a book or two? I probably won’t be able to read them myself, but maybe you could read to me later, just for a while?”

Her friend looked at her with a kind smile. “Of course,” he said, carefully getting up from his chair, Crookshanks leaping from his lap as he did. “I’ll get us a good selection, because it looks like we’ll spend at least one more day within these walls. Seems like the perfect opportunity to study that book on Microscope engineering, your parents sent over last week. Don’t you think?”

Hermione looked at him with a happy smile, her injury for a moment forgotten. “Absolutely. I can’t wait to go through it and discuss all that new information with you.”

Severus nodded. “I will bring it, then.” With that, her friend let go of her hand and even though her heart gave a little twitch when she lost his physical contact, Hermione put on an encouraging smile. Within seconds he hurried out of the room, his voluminous black robe billowing behind him. As soon as he was out of the room, she called for a house-elf and asked him to get her Madam Pomfrey. Hermione had some bodily urges of her own and she preferred that the school nurse assisted her with  _ those _ . She did trust Severus, but there were some things she really did not want him to see.

Ssssssss

Severus returned to Hermione’s room exactly 29 minutes and 31 seconds later. His basic needs were met and for the rest, he had hastily grabbed some potions from his personal storage, so that he would not have to leave Hermione anytime soon. 

His friend was still awake and propped up into a sitting position, indicating that Poppy had been there to take care of her. 

“You’re back,” she said, a happy smile on her face. “Madam Pomfrey just left. She said the bandages would have to stay on for at least another day.” Hermione sighed defeatedly. “I won’t be able to do much until then.”

“Well, you are supposed to rest. The more you sleep the faster you will heal. And every bit of movement will irritate your regenerating skin. But I am willing to read to you, or quiz you, if that is something that would entertain you,” Severus suggested neutrally. 

Hermione looked at him with a happy little smile, that was half hidden by her bandages. “I’d love that. Could you… would you like to lie down on my bed while you do that? I don’t want you to sit there all night and get a stiff back or something…”

He stared at her with a serious expression, while his heart started to beat excitedly at her suggestion. “Do not worry about my back. I spent hours kneeling in front of that snake-faced bastard, I will survive a night in a cushioned chair.”

He heard her sigh. “I know that. It is just... “ He saw that she tried to chew on her bottom lip, but her bandages seemed to prevent her from doing that. “I am sorry that by kissing you I made things awkward between us. I know you’re trying to keep your distance because of that, I get it. I swear I won’t do it again. But could you just lie down next to me, so that I could lean into your shoulder? That way I could peek into the book, and in case I have a nightmare…” she sighed heavily, her one visible eye staring at him, pleading. 

Severus knew he really should not do it. It would make keeping his distance from her even harder afterwards. “What if we share another dream, Hermione? I would hate to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“You’re not. I know that you would never… act inappropriately. And if you are worried about me… well, I would not even be able to move closer, as long as I am wrapped up like a mummy.”

He stared at her contemplatively, his heart battling his mind until his heart finally won and he gave in. “Very well. I am going to lie down next to you. I did not mean to make you feel like I am keeping my distance from you. It was unintended.”

Hermione nodded, a little smile on her face. “Thank you. You will have to levitate me a bit though. Right now I feel like there would not be enough space for you.”

He looked at her with an amused snort, before pulling out his wand and gently moving her to the left side of the bed. Then he slowly peeled off his dragonhide shoes and walked over to her uninjured side, climbing onto the mattress with measured movements. He carefully positioned himself on his back and summoned the promised book from the nightstand. He had barely opened it on the first page, when he felt her head moving closer, until it carefully rested against his shoulder. Even though it was the most innocent of touches, his heart made an excited dance in his chest, very much like an agitated pixie. 

“Is this alright?” he heard her ask, her voice almost shy. Oh Hermione! She obviously had no idea what she was doing to him.

“Of course,” he replied, his deep voice giving nothing away. Then he forced himself to focus on the book in his hands, instead of the feeling from one of her curls, which was gently brushing against his cheek. Luckily Severus was a very disciplined man and therefore it was not long before his deep, calm voice filled the room, reading about light installment and amplifications. It would have been the perfect evening for him, if his bond mate had not been dangerously wounded a few hours ago, but now that he could feel her steady presence next to him, he could feel his agitated nerves and his heart rate slowly calming down. She was right, there had been a distance between them ever since they had shared that dream. Now he could feel that distance disappear, the bond between them tightening with a pleasant tingle of their magic. And Severus could not help but smile, because to him it felt just perfect. 

Ssssssss

When Hermione awoke some hours later she could feel that her head was cushioned by Severus' shoulder, her arms having snaked around his upper body while she had been asleep. She was lying on her good side now, her body cradled by his strong arms, while his nose was buried in her hair, breathing calmly and deeply as he slept. 

‘ _ This feels perfect _ ,’ Hermione thought. ‘ _ Waking up in Severus’ arms feels absolutely perfect - peaceful. Like home _ .’

She wished it could always be like this; him sleeping next to her, instead of the cold loneliness that awaited her morning after morning  _ after morning _ . It was so much nicer to wake up next to somebody you cared about, somebody you loved… Hermione froze. Where had that thought just come from? Was it possible that she had really fallen in love with  _ her Professor _ \- with Severus? The thought alone was frightening but at the same time it also made  _ sense _ . Who else could she have ever fallen for if not him? But no, love was such a  _ big wor _ d. It had such a  _ gravity _ to it -but more importantly, it would mean that her feelings for Severus would not go away anytime soon. And considering that he did not love her back, maybe never would, the thought of pining after him, possibly for years, positively terrified her.

No, it could not be, she could not love him, but the more she tried to push the thought away, the more she realized that she  _ did _ . 

“You’re awake,” Severus’ voice pulled her out of her thoughts and a moment later she could feel his arms letting go of her, her heart aching in protest at the sudden loss of contact to its other half. “How are you feeling?”

For a moment she thought about saying ‘cosy’, but then she went for: “Much better. My skin feels a bit itchy, but I am not in pain or anything.”

“Excellent,” he said, pulling himself up in a sitting position. “I imagine Poppy will be eager to change those bandages and take a look at the healing progress. I will leave the room for that and look after Potter in the meanwhile, but I will talk to her afterwards.”

Hermione nodded, even though she really did not want him to go. But she had to let him go, no matter how wrong it felt. “Alright. Thank you, Severus,” she mumbled, a thankful smile on her lips. “And thank you for staying with me, for being my... friend.”

The last word suddenly tasted like a lie on her tongue, but she said it anyway, hoping to assure him that everything between them was okay - well, as okay as it could be, given her newly discovered feelings.


	47. An excellent plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys. Let’s see if Crooks can help our two idiots, shall we? I had so much fun writing this chapter after I finally came up with a plan for our favourite cat. Let me know your thoughts on it! 
> 
> This chapter was kindly betaed by Justsare.

It was the first time Severus had witnessed the miracle of Kindred Magic and had a direct comparison of what would have happened to Hermione without his magic working to heal her. Yes, he had experienced its magic working on himself, twice: first when he regrew his own arm and Hermione took away the pain, and the second time when she pulled him back from death's door. But this time  _ he _ was the one helping  _ her _ recover and even though hers and Potter’s treatment only varied by the physical contact he and Hermione had shared, Hermione was so much better off than her friend.

Potter’s skin was pretty much gone in the morning, his open flesh still red and angry, and it was obvious that the boy was in pain. Severus did what he could for him by applying a regenerative salve and giving him a strong pain potion. In the end, Harry would be all right, and his skin would still regrow without leaving scars, but it would be a long way for him.

Hermione, on the other hand, greeted him with a big smile when he re-entered her room, all of her bandages gone, exposing a new layer of rosy, unblemished skin. She was clad in a loose nightshirt now that left her arms and feet bare. Poppy had obviously applied a warming charm onto the girl’s bed, as Hermione did not see the necessity to cover herself with her blanket. And involuntarily his eyes were pulled towards her exposed ankles, fixating on the creamy skin like he had not seen anything as fascinating before. Merlin, he needed to get a grip, and soon.

With the willpower of a true Occlumens he forced his eyes back to her face, assessing the healing process underway. She looked much better. Yes, the formerly wounded areas still looked new and tender, but there were worlds between hers and Potter's recovery. And he had been the one making it possible, all without speaking a single spell. Somehow this realization was it, what made the whole thing real for him. Because  _ this _ should not have been possible, Hermione recovering almost completely in a matter of hours when all he had been doing was holding her. Still it had happened,  _ he _ had made it happen - something  _ good _ – and not the usual catastrophes that seemed to follow him throughout his life. Severus had been the one making a difference – really making a difference – and it wasn’t through Albus’ scheming or by serving an evil master.

“Madam Pomfrey said tomorrow I would be able to resume classes,” Hermione said, greeting him with a beaming smile. “How is Harry?”

Severus walked closer, unable to take his eyes from her face. “He will recover,” he said seriously. “But for him, it will take time. I expect the results to be equally... satisfying though.”

Hermione nodded, her face signalling that she had understood why that was. “I see. Do you think I could still visit him though? Just for a bit? I imagine you will resume your teaching duties today.”

He sighed inwardly. He did not want to go back to teaching those brats and leave Hermione in this room, all by herself. Well, not totally. There was still her grumpy-looking, cheeky cat. Still, leaving her felt wrong, it felt like he would have to leave a part of himself behind. But he would have to do it, because how in Merlin’s name should he explain this sudden attachment to her, or anybody else? Or was it possible that this was their bond acting up again, making him feel the way she felt? Was this desire to stay with her even his, was it  _ real _ ? Well, it was as real as Severus healing her without casting a single spell, he realized with a jolt of panic - which made it pretty real in his eyes. 

Merlin, he was being sucked into this bond deeper and deeper, and he did not know how to get back out. But what if he was not meant to? 

Ssssssss

“Harry, how are you?” Hermione found herself saying an hour later, sitting at her friend’s bedside, wide-eyed. If Severus had not told her Harry would be all right, she would have surely panicked, seeing him like that. Because it was only now that she realized that she must have looked almost the same some hours ago, and how bad things could have been, for both of them. 

“Singed,” her friend replied with a crooked smile on his lips. “I feel like a skinned rabbit - or maybe a boiled lobster. Decide for yourself which one it is, I think either comparison is quite fitting at the moment.” Hermione looked at him sympathetically and it was only a moment until his smile disappeared and his look turned serious. “I am glad you’re already feeling better, Hermione. How did Professor Snape patch you up so quickly? It  _ was  _ him, was it not?”

Hermione nodded shyly. “It was him. He did everything for you he could, Harry, and he promised me you’ll be all right, too. For you, it just takes a bit longer.”

Her friend nodded seriously. “I imagine you can not tell me why, until I’ve finally learned Occlumency, right?”

She nodded sadly, but Harry just smiled. 

“Well, it appears I do have a lot of time now, all of a sudden. And confined to this private room there won’t be much distraction here anyway. Before I get bored out of my mind, I might as well put that time to good use, huh?”

Hermione nodded again, this time with a happy smile. “I could teach you, a bit. I don’t know much, but I have read some books…”

Harry snorted. “Of course you have. Alright, teach me. And who knows? With you, I might even finally learn. I definitely want to, because I can feel that there’s  _ a lot _ you’re not telling me.” He looked at her meaningfully. 

“I… there is.” She sighed. “And I wish I could tell you, at least some of it. Because I feel like I desperately need someone else to talk to.”

Harry smiled understandingly. “Then let’s get into this. I might not be as brilliant as your Professor Snape, but I will not let you down, Hermione. Or at least I’ll do my best not to.” Harry grinned crookedly, half of it hidden by the bandages still wrapped around his head. “So how do I go about this?”

Ssssssss

  
  


When Hermione entered the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning, whispers could be heard throughout the room. She could see several students turning around to get a better look at her, before concentrating back on their food, with something like disappointment on their faces. Hermione sighed and for a moment she wished to be back in the private ward, or the new private quarters she had been given by the Headmaster. What did they expect to see? The answer came as soon as she sat down at the Gryffindor table, next to Ginny. 

“They said you were badly injured,” Ron said to her, his tone dark. “Can’t have been so bad then, when you’re back already, with not even a mark on you.”

For a moment Hermione just stared at her former friend, unsure what she should even say to this. But finally, she replied: “I was lucky to be treated immediately, Ronald. Things could have been much worse.”

Ron looked at her with a disappointed headshake, before turning away without saying another word to her. Instead, she heard him say to Lavender, who was sitting right next to him: “I can’t believe Dumbledore gave them private quarters, just because Harry messed up his potion. But I guess they were always his favourites.”

Hermione wanted to say something, but she was held back by Ginny’s hand on her leg. “Ignore my prick of a brother. It’s just his usual jealousy talking,” she mumbled. “I’m glad you are alright. I was so worried about you - both of you.”

Hermione nodded, casting Ginny a friendly smile. “Thank you, Ginny.”

“Did you see Harry? How is he? Dumbledore hasn’t said much, but from what your classmates told me, it was bad...” the female redhead murmured in a worried tone. 

“Harry will need some more days to recover. But I was told he will be all right,” she assured the girl. “You could ask Madam Pomfrey if you could visit him - maybe not today, but tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to see you. He’s pretty isolated right now.”

Ginny looked at her hopefully. “Do you think Madam Pomfrey would let me see him?”

At that, Hermione shrugged. “Just ask her, Ginny. The private ward is just for Harry’s protection after… after what happened. But that doesn’t mean he should be forbidden from seeing his friends, don’t you think?”

Ginny smiled. “Absolutely. You’re right. I’ll ask her right after school. Thank you, Hermione!”

Hermione nodded with a happy smile, before starting to butter her toast. Harry would be so happy when Ginny came to visit. It wasn’t like he was trying to hide the crush he had on the youngest Weasley. And maybe it wasn’t too late, and Ginny still wanted him. Then at least two of them could be with the person they loved. With a rueful smile, she took a bite from her toast, her thoughts returning to the day before. Severus had dutifully visited her after he had finished his lessons, and entertained her by reading to her and discussing some advancements they could make on their microscope, once they had finally implemented the light crystal. But after a while he left, reminding her that he still had work to do, and Hermione let him go, knowing that she would not see him until the next day, when he hopefully came to visit her in her new quarters. There would be no more waking up in his arms or listening to his heartbeat, Hermione thought, and given the fact that she was still his student and Severus did not even seem attracted to her, she would have to learn to accept that. 

  
  


Ssssssss

Those humans could be frustratingly thick, Crookshanks thought, casually strolling through the corridors of the castle. He had thought that after having slept in the same bed, obviously enjoying each other’s presence, his mistress or the raven-man would have realized that it was finally time to make a move and  _ pounce already _ . But even though it was obvious that it was what they  _ wanted _ to do, they skittered away again, acting like they were not interested at all. Idiots! 

The raven-man was the perfect mate for his mistress; his fingers were gentle and patient and scratched his ears  _ just right _ . He did not have a high or unnerving voice, was not smelly, and he had a collection of most interesting snacks on his shelves. Crookshanks had eyed them all himself, when the raven-man had briefly housed him in his chambers. What else was there to want? The raven-man would be the perfect master for him, this Crookshanks could feel in his whiskers. But obviously his mistress could not see it, or was still undecided. 

Maybe it was time for him to do something about it, time to show his mistress just what she was missing out by letting that human roam the castle unclaimed. What if he instead attached himself to another human instead? No, that could not be tolerated, it would be a total waste of opportunity. Which meant Crookshanks needed to do something to prevent such a totally unacceptable outcome. Luckily his mistress usually followed his advice, and he already had a pretty clear idea of how to advertise the raven-man to her as a worthy mate. 

ssssssss

‘What a shitty day’, Hermione thought while strolling back into her new private quarters, which were located in another part of the Gryffindor Tower. She had really looked forward to joining classes again, but all she got from her classmates was dark or jealous looks. Especially her old dorm-mates seemed unhappy or jealous about her moving out of their shared room and a few times she could hear Lavender talking about her behind her back. The most laughable theory she heard was that she and Harry had orchestrated his accident themselves, to get private quarters, so that they would be undisturbed in their lovemaking. The idea was absolutely ridiculous, but somehow it was still worth spreading. Gods, Hermione hated teenagers, herself included, because those ridiculous hormones were really not helping to remain calm and  _ not _ start crying in front of her classmates. 

With Harry still confined to the hospital wing it felt like back in first year again, when she was friendless and ridiculed by her classmates. Of course it was not true, because she  _ had _ friends now, except that none of them were at her side during the day. And so she struggled on, alone, while keeping her mind focussed on the fact that she would see Severus in the evening. 

She would have been  _ fine _ , even though her heart ached most of the day and her chest tightened, making it hard for her to breathe, as her desire to be reunited with her mate grew. But Hermione knew they would see each other in the evening and that this would have to be enough. 

With a sigh she put her bag down on the floor and walked to her bed, attempting to throw herself onto the soft covers and close her tired eyes for a bit. Only when she came closer she saw that there was already something on it. Right on her pillow there was a huge giant's toe, while her blanket was holding several eyeballs and something that looked like the brain of a rat. It had already left wet spots on her blanket. 

What a gruesome sight! And even though Hermione objectively knew that those were only potion ingredients, someone would still have needed to put them there. And the wards on her new rooms should have prevented just that. Currently Severus was the only one she had given the permission to, to enter her chambers, and he, for sure, would not have done such a thing to her. 

Bugger. Somebody had been to her supposedly secure chambers. And he had left a gruesome message for her. 

“Grumpy,” Hermione called for one of the house-elves, her voice toneless. It was only a moment until the black-haired, batty-eared servant appeared in front of her, looking at her expectantly.

“How can Grumpy be of service to Miss Hermione?” 

Hermione sighed. “Could you please go and get Professor Snape for me? And possibly Professor Dumbledore, too?” 

The elf nodded dutifully. “Of course, Miss. Grumpy will go and get them right away,” the older male elf squeaked, before apparating away. Hermione stared at the place where the little servant had just disappeared and waited. It would be better if she did not touch anything in the room until her Professors were here. Because who knew what else the intruder had left for her?

It was only a few moments until her door opened and Severus strode into the room, his face alarmed when he sought her out. 

“What happened?” he asked, just as the Headmaster appeared right in front of her out of thin air, and only a moment later she remembered that Albus Dumbledore’s position allowed him to apparate inside the castle.

“Somebody has been to my room,” she explained, motioning to her tastelessly decorated bed. “I think they left a message or something.”

The men turned towards her bed and while the Headmaster’s expression remained calm, Severus’ expression became dark. “No one should have been able to enter these rooms,” he said, his eyes seeking out the Headmaster. “Miss Granger has to grant permission to someone seeking to enter these rooms personally, as you very well know. Apart from the both of us and Miss Granger, no one should have even been able to enter.”

Professor Dumbledore nodded. “This is indeed quite worrisome.”

“We need to look into this, check the wards,” Severus said, before his eyes sought her out. “Have you touched anything?”

Hermione shook her head. “No. I only dropped my bag onto the floor, that is all.”

“Good. Leave everything here. You’ll be staying in my quarters until we find out who did this to you. And we  _ will _ find out, I promise.” Hermione nodded hesitantly and watched Severus turn back towards the Headmaster. 

“Can I trust you to look into this, Albus? Because I am not leaving Hermione all by herself, after yet another incident. Do you have any objections against her staying in my rooms? Next to yours, they are the best warded rooms of the castle…” her friend said calmly.

But Albus Dumbledore looked at Severus with a kind, grandfatherly smile. “Why would I have objections? I think it is a splendid idea. As you said, there is hardly a place where Miss Granger would be better protected.”

For a short moment, Hermione thought she saw a twinkle in the old man’s eyes, but when she looked again, it was gone. “Do you have any objections against staying with Professor Snape, Miss Granger? Just until we have discovered who did this to you.”

Hermione shook her head, a little smile appearing on her lips. “Professor Snape is always very kind. I have no objections against staying with him,” she said as calmly as possible. 

The old man nodded. “Splendid!” he said, clapping his hands together. “Then I suggest you take Miss Granger to your rooms immediately. I will stay behind and assess the wards.”

Severus nodded. “Very well. I suggest we use the house-elves’ services to get us there and remain silent about the incident for now. We would not want to tip off whoever did this. Maybe they’ll try to enter your chambers again if they believe you’re still living here.”

Professor Dumbledore nodded. “A good suggestion, my boy. Do not worry, Miss Granger. We will have caught the culprit in no time.”

Ssssssss

It was only moments until Hermione and Severus stood in his private chambers, the house-elf that had just apparated them disappearing with a silent pop. Under normal circumstances, Hermione would have been thrilled to be back here, especially as it looked like she would be allowed to stay in Severus’ quarters for a while. But right now happiness was the last emotion she felt, fear and shock being most prominent on her mind at the moment. And so she just stood there, in the middle of Severus’ living room, staring at the fireplace without really seeing it. 

Even though lots of things had happened to her at Hogwarts over the years, the place had always felt safe to her. But after the last few days, she just felt like danger was lurking behind every corner and she wouldn’t even recognize it when staring it in the face. The thought that this intruder would have been able to reach her in her sleep terrified her, especially as he had not decided to do so and instead just left this unsettling message for her. What did he or she even want? 

“Everything will be all right, Hermione,” Severus said from behind her, his tone reassuring and gentle. “Nothing will happen to you inside these chambers, they are safe.”

“How do you know?” she asked tonelessly, not even turning around to face him. “My room was supposed to be safe, too. This  _ schoo _ l was supposed to be safe but I no longer feel like it is. I’m scared…”

“That is only natural,” her friend replied, his voice now sounding much closer than before. He must be standing directly behind her, even though he did not touch her in any way. “Fear is what makes you pay close attention to your surroundings and by that, keeps you alive. I have been afraid for years, Hermione, and I am not ashamed to admit that. Still, I swear I’ll protect you, from whoever wishes you harm. You’re safe here.”

She nodded, telling herself that he was right, but she could still feel the tears well up behind her eyes. Her bottom lip started to quiver as she tried holding them back, but it was like the waters were rapidly rising behind a dam and she knew it would be only a matter of time until they just flooded over. 

“I think I need to sit down,” she mumbled, her voice already shaking. She could slowly feel her torso tightening, making it harder and harder for her to breathe, even though Severus’ presence usually helped against this kind of feeling. “I don’t feel very well…”

“Of course,” she heard Severus say from behind her, his hands carefully gripping her arms, guiding her towards his sofa. She went with shaky legs, stumbling the last steps, as she felt the corners of her vision darkening already. She barely made it to the sofa, her legs giving out just as she reached it, so that she fell down on it with an inelegant thud. Severus sat down next to her without hesitation, turning her around so that she was sitting sideways now, her legs propped up in front of her on the seating, her head resting on her knees. She could feel her friend move closer, his arms closing around her from behind. Shortly after, her back was pressed against his lean chest, his arms and legs closing around her body like a shield, giving her the feeling of being held and protected. 

“I’m here, all right? And I’m not going anywhere,” Severus murmured into her hair. “Just breathe.”

She nodded mutely, taking a deep shaky breath, then another one. But it was of no use, because a moment later she could feel her tears flood over, the dam behind her eyes breaking. “Please don’t leave me,” she sobbed, hiding her face in her knees. “Don’t leave me alone.”

“I’m not,” Severus promised, his voice calm and soothing. But Hermione just shook her head, knowing that he  _ would _ leave her again, sooner or later. And she dreaded that moment already. 

Ssssssss

It had been an excellent plan, Crookshanks concluded, as he watched his mistress and the raven-man from his new spot in front of the fireplace. Both of them were seated on the sofa, their bodies entwined in a way that told him they would not let go of each other anytime soon. Perfect. All it had taken were a few well placed gifts from his mistress’ suitor and the girl had already moved into his quarters - taking Crookshanks with her. And it looked like they were going to stay, he thought, looking at his mistress’ trunk that had just appeared in the corner of the room. His feeding dish and his basket arrived a moment later and he walked over to the latter, lying down with a satisfied purr. He should have intervened much sooner, he concluded, his fur heating up just nicely by the fire. Here he could lie in peace, without any other humans shooing him away or disturbing his well-earned rest. Never again. No, his mistress would stay right where she belonged, Crookshanks would make sure of that. As soon as she decided otherwise, a few well-placed gifts would probably be enough to remind her what she was missing out on. It had worked perfectly this time, after all. But looking at those two he doubted if that would even be necessary. Because the raven-man looked like he would not let go of her anytime soon. Excellent.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	48. Much stronger than you think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends. Writing has been hard those last days, mostly because Severuns and Hermione are being stubborn again. Gods, they are killing me. Writing this pairing is so hard and that age difference and their different positions in life don’t make this any easier. In short: I was stuck again and it took all my willpower to go on and pull through. But I did and finished that chapter. Let’s hope the next one will be easier to write again.   
> Thanks to my two favourite ladies Justsare and StephanieMRV. They are helping me so much (and I don’t just mean by listening to my whining).

Severus held his friend, as she sat on his sofa, her petite body wracked by terrible sobs. There was not much he could do to reassure her now, nothing more than holding her and murmuring words of comfort, because right now he had no idea how to proceed. He would have to wait for Albus’ findings from checking the wards on her room, and even then he did not feel like he wanted to leave Hermione by herself anytime soon. She was safest when she was close to him because she was right: just because his rooms were among the safest of the castle, did not mean they were safe. And that was a worrisome realization indeed. 

It took a while for Hermione to finally calm down, but when she did she slowly straightened herself and leaned her curly head against his chest, looking up at him with huge, caramel brown eyes. There seemed a million questions hidden in them, and if their situation had been different, he could have gotten lost in them, probably forever. But given their current situation, there was nothing he could do or say, that would help her - or not be totally inappropriate. He could not promise her everything would be all right, not when he did not have any clue what was going on; he could not even tell her how he truly felt. And he most definitely could not kiss her.   
Therefore he did not do anything, just held her while staring at her silently, and for a while she just stared back, her eyes searching for something he could not grasp. But finally, she turned back around with a sigh and said:  
“Could we stay like this for a while longer? I know you probably have loads of work to do, but could we just chat for a bit? Just to take my mind off of… things.”

He nodded understandingly. “Of course. Just give me a topic - maybe not fashion - and I will do my best to entertain you.” 

Hermione nodded. “I have wondered for a while now; why did you decide to become an Animagus?”

He looked at her with a gentle smile. “There are two reasons for that - at least. The first one was that James Potter and his little gang of bullies managed it, and as soon as I found out, I think I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it as well. I know it sounds petty when I say it like that now, but back then… things were… hard.”

“I understand,” the woman in his arms whispered, her head leaning against his chest, while her eyes were full of melancholy. “I was bullied in school too, but for you, it was so much worse. I am not sure if I could have lived through seven years of that. I would have probably given up at some point.”

“You wouldn’t have,” he said, closing his arms around her torso and pulling her closer. “You are stronger than you think, much stronger. You would have given those idiots hell, I am sure of it.”

Hermione did not reply right away but after a moment a little smile formed on her lips. “Did Malfoy ever tell you that, in third year, I punched him in the face and broke his nose?”

“He did not,” Severus replied, smiling fondly. “But I am sure he deserved it.” She nodded and for a while she was silent. But Severus was not finished. “You should do that more often; fight back, I mean. I feel like you’re taking too much shit from others, like from Weasley, that idiot. Tell me, if he came and apologized to you, even if it was only half an apology, would you just forgive him? Would you just take him back as your friend and act as if nothing happened?”

Hermione shrugged. “Maybe. Because that’s what you do. You forgive others. You try to be nice and helpful because friendship is important, right? Especially when one hasn’t that many friends…”

Severus sighed. “That is no reason to allow others to treat you like shit, Hermione. I’d rather have no friends, than constantly being used by them,” he replied, more vehemently than he intended to. “Which probably is the reason for me being alone for such a long time.” He snorted. “But it does not matter. What is a friend if you cannot rely on them, or if they will turn against you at the first chance?”

Hermione nodded with a sigh. “I guess you are right. It is just that Ron and I also had good times. How can I just give that up?”

He did not reply right away. “Have you told your parents what he did? Because I would love to hear what they had to say…”

“I told them we split up shortly after our first date,” Hermione mumbled shyly. “They assumed it did not work out between the two of us, which is the truth. He and I… we were just not right together. And it was not his fault I distanced myself from him.”

Severus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You are still protecting him, after he treated you like shit. Why? You should have punched him in the face and broken his nose. Instead, you waited for Potter to do it.”  
Hermione was silent, but the look on her face told him that she was considering his words. And so he continued: “I am not telling you what to do, Hermione, this is your life. But if you really accept him back as a friend, do not allow him to use you again, like he did before.”

At that, she nodded. “I promise. You know… ever since we became close, I have learned a lot about friendship, about how it’s supposed to be. And I think you are right.”

She did not clarify her words, but he assumed she was referring to Weasley, and therefore he smiled. For a while, neither of them spoke, and Severus just allowed himself to enjoy the physical contact, the smell of her hair, and the warmth radiating from her body.

Then, a while later, she said: “What was the other reason? For you becoming an Animagus, I mean…”

Ah, yeah. He had forgotten about how their discussion had started. “I was actually hoping for a more… dangerous... Animagus form. In my youth, I envisioned myself as a black panther, which would have been great when encountering a rat, a stag, and a stray dog. Unfortunately, that was not what I got and it took some time for me to see the advantages of being a raven, but eventually, I did.”

Hermione nodded. “You were just looking for a way to fight back,” she concluded, nodding understandingly. 

“I did. As a student, I was involved in more duels than I could count. They were usually not one on one, and I rarely started them, but the Professors rarely asked after that little detail.” Severus laughed humourlessly. “Still, no matter how much I hated Potter and his lackeys for what they did to me, they taught me a valuable lesson, Hermione. They taught me to fight back, to not be a victim. And you aren’t a victim either, if you don’t want to be. You can always fight back and if you want to, I can help you to learn how.”

“You are right,” Hermione sighed, and even though her voice still sounded gloomy, she already seemed more like her old self again. Good. He would gladly protect her, if he had to, but it could never hurt to show her how to defend herself, even if it was by fighting dirty. But he would not force his help on her. He would give her time to contemplate his words and then hopefully she would ask him to teach her. And then he would teach her every dirty little trick that he was legally allowed to. 

Ssssssss

“I think it’s time for us to go to bed now,” Severus said after they had sat in silence for a few hours. He had been correcting a stack of essays he had collected from his students today, while Hermione sat silently at his table by the window, taking glimpses of the Black Lake while she did her homework. After she had gotten over her initial panic it was actually quite nice sitting here, enjoying the view and the fact that no one disturbed her in her work.   
But now she could suddenly feel how tired she was. Her past injury and the day’s events had indeed tired her out. The only problem was that going to bed would mean being alone again, and she dreaded the moment she had to close her eyes, being alone in the darkness. 

“If we must,” she mumbled, carefully putting her books aside. “I am not sure if I can fall asleep right now,” she admitted, getting up from her seat.

She could feel Severus’ eyes on her, as he slowly got up from his desk as well, walking towards her with measured steps. “You are tired, Hermione, have been for a while now. You need to try to rest, to restore your energy for tomorrow.”

“I know,” Hermione admitted defeatedly. “But I can’t help being afraid of the moment when you leave that room, wishing me a good night.” She stared at her shoes, afraid to look at the older man, as he approached her. 

He was silent until he was standing right in front of her, his hands gently gripping her shoulders. “I understand,” he said, his voice soft. “After the recent events, I too feel uncomfortable leaving you behind. But I would rather avoid having another shared dream with you sleeping right next to me.”

Hermione shook her head, before she forced herself to look at him, her eyes trying to convey what she felt. “I’d rather wake up after sharing a dream with you, than not sleep at all, Severus. Yes, the last time it happened was… embarrassing, but nothing we could not handle. I trust you, Severus so, please…” She would not beg him, she decided, but she had made her preferences on the matter clear enough.

“All right,” her friend replied with a sigh. “Come to my room then. You can sleep in my bed if it makes you feel better. But we will work on our lucid dreaming skills before falling asleep. That is my condition.”

She beamed at him. “Thank you. We can work on it until we fall asleep if you like,” she said, determined to do her best to satisfy her friend. If she was allowed to sleep next to him, it was worth letting go of those dreams, even if that meant never feeling Severus’ kisses again. 

“Good. Make yourself ready for bed then. You can use the bathroom first,” Severus said, and a moment later the physical contact with him was gone. Hermione saw him stroll towards what was probably his bedroom and she hastily turned around and walked towards his bathroom. Readying herself for bed in his quarters was something she had never expected she’d do one day, but now she was, and even though she could not help but feel nervous about being in Professor Snape’s quarters - in his bedroom - the domesticity of it made her smile.

Severus’ bathroom was simple compared with what she had expected for a Professor. She had been to it before, of course, but today she appreciated the simple design of the room even more. Making a quick decision, she opted for a shower, washing her hair and her newly regenerated skin, because even though Madam Pomfrey had kindly used some cleaning spells on her, it wasn’t quite the same as using water and soap. When she stepped out of the shower there was a fluffy white bathrobe waiting for her, and next to Severus’ mirror, a second glass with her toothbrush had appeared, and Hermione took it, quietly thanking the house-elves for assisting her so kindly.

It was about twenty minutes later when she finally emerged from the bathroom, a cloud of steam following her outside. She padded in her bare feet towards the living room, where Severus had sat down on one of the armchairs, casually reading a book. He had already removed his outer robe and shoes, Hermione realized, and smiled happily. She liked this more casual version of Severus, and she took the sight in greedily to be able to replay it in her mind later.  
“I see you found everything you needed,” Severus said and turned towards her. Somehow his eyes looked even darker in this light, Hermione thought, even though she had not considered that to be possible. “I’ll show you the way to my bedroom, before freshening up myself. I won’t be long...”

“Alright. Thank you,” she replied, feeling suddenly shy. But Severus did not comment on it, and led her through a door at the other end of the room. The room lying beyond was cosy and even though the huge four-poster-bed with green curtains took up most of the room, Severus had crammed one more shelf loaded with books against the wall next to the door. Interestingly it did not hold magical books, but a variety of Muggle literature, mostly thrillers as far as she could tell. It took a moment for her to rip her eyes away from the unknown titles but Severus, of course, had taken note of her interest.  
“You can borrow one of them and start reading it, for as long as it takes me to get ready. Some of them are quite gruesome though, so maybe not something you should read before attempting to sleep.”

“I am not much into thrillers anyway,” Hermione confessed with a smile. “I just did not expect you to read them. I do have a weakness for drama and science-fiction though. If ever you’re getting bored with those ones, I do have a little collection of books of my own.”

Severus smiled. “I will keep it in mind. Make yourself at home then.”

Hermione nodded and before she found a fitting reply, Severus had left the room, closing the door behind him silently. For a moment she stared at the bed undecidedly. Did he prefer one side of it? Probably. But as he had not told her which one it was, she opted for the side that was facing the back of the room, because having Severus between her and the door made her feel safer.  
Some moments later she had shrugged off her bathrobe, put on her soft, tartan-coloured pyjamas and climbed into bed, noting that there was only one large blanket. She would not mind sharing it with Severus of course; she was even secretly looking forward to it; but somehow she thought that Severus would probably transfigure a second one for himself. With a sigh she turned on her back and stared at the bed’s ceiling, and with a startle she realized that it was charmed, and showed several trees, making her feel like she was lying in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. The trees were mostly dark now that it was night outside, and here and there she could see a star blinking in between the treetops, but Hermione could not help but wonder how those trees would look in the morning. Hermione did not know how long she was lying there, admiring the view and watching the leaves gently moving in the wind, but suddenly she could hear the door open and Severus strode into the room. She turned towards him with a happy smile, realizing that he too had changed into a pair of pyjamas, but his were dark green and made of a soft, silken fabric. Strange. She had always envisioned him in a long, grey nightshirt, but suddenly she realized how ridiculous that thought had been.  
“I love the enchantment on your bed’s ceiling,” she admitted dreamily. “I could stare at it all night - I probably will.”

Severus smiled and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the mattress before lifting the blanket and climbing beneath. “I enchanted it myself. It was not very long ago that I had problems with insomnia as well. Sometimes I still have them, but staring up into those trees usually helps me to calm down. Maybe it will help you, too.”

“I am sure it will,” Hermione replied, turning towards him with a happy smile. “But first I promised to work on my skills for lucid dreaming. So what do you want me to do?”

Severus turned towards her with a smile and Hermione could catch a whiff of peppermint in his breath. “I think it would be best if we go about it like this...” he said, and then he started to explain.

Ssssssss

Severus watched Hermione’s sleeping figure next to him with a gentle smile, taking in her beautiful features that sleep had finally relaxed. Her hair was still slightly wet from the shower and she smelled like peaches, he realized, and it took all his willpower not to stretch his arm out and bury his fingers in her curls.  
The girl had trusted him enough to ask him to share his bed with her, and he would not dishonour her trust by risking another embarrassing situation between them. Still, this night was special, more special than Hermione would ever know, because Severus had never brought another woman to this bed, or even this room, and he had never intended to. Inside these walls was his sanctuary, the place he had retreated to whenever the outside world had gotten too much for him. Here in this bed, he had nursed his tortured body back to health, covering his sheets with his blood and sweat while the bed ceiling’s enchantment made him keep his composure and sanity as his body slowly recovered.

Severus had never wanted to sully those sheets by lovelessly fucking a woman here, but more importantly: he had never trusted anybody enough to show them this part of himself – until now. Now Hermione was here and the awe he had seen in her eyes when looking at his books, at his bed, at him, was tugging at his heart-strings and made him feel accepted in a way he never before had. It made him realize once more what a special gift it was to have found her - his soul mate - Hermione - the woman that had slowly but steadily wormed her way into his heart, and now into his bed. For a short moment, he wished she would stay here forever, sharing this blanket and warming his bed and his heart. But that, of course, was not possible... at least not for a very long while.


	49. Wrong assumptions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends. Luckily my muse decided to cooperate again, which is why you’re getting this chapter today. By now I have come to terms with this being a very long fanfic. I guess we’re not even halfway. But building a convincing relationship between Hermione and Severus takes a lot of time (which is fine for me). Thank you for your ongoing support and your kind words. They make my day!
> 
> As always my special thanks goes to StephanieMRV and Justsare, for helping me out with writing. You’re the best!

_ Hermione woke up to Severus’ hands carefully stroking her face, as if he was trying not to wake her. His fingers were soft, trailing along her cheeks, her brows, her nose; and even though Hermione’s eyes were still closed, she would have recognized them anywhere. For a moment she was simply laying there, enjoying his touch and the excited flutter in her belly, but finally, it became too much for her to take and her eyes snapped open and she stared at him. A moment later she grabbed his raspy chin and pulled him into a desperate kiss. And to her surprise and delight, Severus moved towards her willingly, his lips kissing her with at least as much hunger as she herself felt.  _

_ Gods, she wanted this, wanted him and here finally he was, kissing her like there was no tomorrow. Severus’ kisses felt hot and cold at the same time, they made her heart beat faster, like nothing else ever had. His hands buried in her hair made it impossible for her to move her head much, but her hands were free to roam his body, which was only clad in the elegant, soft pyjamas he had picked out for the night. Only hours ago she had wondered how it would feel to touch them, to feel his lean muscles below the soft and thin fabric, and now she realized that it felt even better than she had imagined.  _

_ “Ah, Severus…” she breathed before pulling him into another kiss, burying her fingers in his silky, black hair. But she could only enjoy his lips a moment longer, before a thought hit her like a bludger, making her insides turn to ice. Severus would never kiss her like this, he did not want her like this, not really, which meant that this… _

_ She stiffened and immediately the man in her arms froze. _

_ “Hermione? Love? What’s wrong?” he asked, and for a moment she just looked at him, her heart beating wildly in panic. She had to tell him, she had promised, but for a moment she wanted nothing more than to continue to enjoy his attentions.  _

_ “This isn’t real,” she finally whispered, her voice almost breaking. “This is a dream, Severus, we’re sharing a dream.” _

_ Severus did not react right away, but finally he blinked and let go of her. “Right, sorry,” he murmured, clearing his throat. “You did well in realizing that. I would have fallen victim to it again.” _

_ Hermione found herself nod, her heart growing heavier with every second that passed. She had done it, she had taken the first step towards lucid dreaming, which probably meant that soon, she would not feel his kisses ever again. But she could not think about that right now, not with Severus studying her like that, his eyes seemingly looking directly into her soul.  _

_ “It does not matter. We have the advantage that there’s two of us. Maybe next time you’ll be the one noticing that we’re just dreaming. Anyway…” she trailed off, her eyes taking in her surroundings. Interestingly they were in his bed now, a location that before now had never featured in their dreams. “What shall we do now? Or better, what can we even do? I have never done this before.” _

_ “Neither have I. But I would love to find out,” Severus said, getting up from the bed, his clothes suddenly transforming back into his black teaching robes. He looked at her expectantly, offering her his pale hand to help her get up. “What have you always wanted to do and never could?” he asked, his lips forming a curious smile. _

_ ‘Kissing you properly or telling you that I love you,’ Hermione thought, but hastily pushed the thought away. “Flying,” she said instead, her naked feet connecting with the cold stone floor a moment later. “I’ve always been terrified of flying, whether I was on a broom or a thestral. I’d like to try it without being afraid.” _

_ Severus grinned. “Brilliant. That is something I can easily teach you. Come on. I just happen to know the best place for it.” _

  
  


_ Ssssssss _

__

  
  


When Hermione awoke some hours later she felt more conflicted than she ever had before. Those last hours of dreaming had been intense, with Severus helping her mount a broom all by herself and showing her Hogwarts’ surroundings from a bird’s perspective. They went far beyond the Forbidden Forest until they could see the sea in the distance, guided by the memories Severus had made when exploring the area in his Animagus form. Now, in her dream, Hermione felt fearless, because even if she managed to fall from her broom, she knew that nothing could really happen to her if she did. This was just a dream after all - one of the best dreams she’d ever had, if she was honest. Usually, she was not really in control of what was happening to her; now, she suddenly was, or  _ they _ were. Which meant that Severus now acted firmly as her friend, but never more. And Hermione could not help but yearn for his touch. 

Now, as the daylight streaming through the small windows had woken her, Hermione found herself resting on his shoulder, his arms holding her firmly against his body. She had slung one of her hands across his chest, her fingers buried in the soft fabric of his pyjamas.

Hermione decided that she would just remain still and enjoy the contact with Severus as long as it lasted because she was sure that he would pull away from her as soon as he woke up. And that would probably be soon enough. But she should probably consider herself lucky to have as much, because Severus was still very much her Professor and therefore a physical relationship with him was totally off-limits. Would it really make that much of a difference though? She had already slept in his chambers and the Headmaster had not questioned them once.  _ But Severus would _ , Hermione realized a moment later, remembering that he had not even enjoyed kissing her in the first place. Bugger.

Hermione was pulled out of her thoughts by a weight suddenly landing on the mattress next to her and it did not take her long to realize that it was Crooks worming his way into the bed to beg for her attention and probably some food. She wanted to shoo him away, but just at that moment, Severus awoke and stared, first at her, then at her cat.

“I should probably be thankful he did not seek you out a few hours ago,” he mumbled sleepily, his arms holding her body slowly sliding away. “Cheeky bugger. What do you want?” Severus asked, staring at her cat with an amused smile on his lips. 

Crooks meowed and stared at him, before climbing on the man’s chest, settling there with a demanding purr. Severus stared at him, sceptically at first, but then the corners of his mouth twitched in amusement. “I see,” Severus answered and to Hermione’s astonishment he lifted his hand a moment later, his long fingers disappearing in her pet’s long fur. For a moment Hermione just stared at him, but then she chuckled before carefully climbing out of her friend’s bed. 

“I think he might have just claimed you,” she said light-heartedly before slowly walking towards the bedroom door. “Don’t spoil him too much, or he won’t leave you alone.” 

“I doubt that very much,” Severus replied, just as she opened the door. “Cats usually tend to avoid me, at least the ones roaming the castle. I’m sure your cat will follow you as soon as you leave the room.”

Hermione smiled at him before she turned around and left the room, to freshen up in the bathroom. Crookshanks did not follow her, though. He stayed firmly at Severus’ side until Hermione left his quarters to head to her lessons, which was really remarkable, as her cat had not played favourites with any of her friends or her parents so far. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“Harry’s feeling better!” Ginny greeted her as soon as she reached the breakfast table. The redhead stared at her with a wide and happy smile and pulled her right next to her, when Hermione walked towards her. “I’ve seen him yesterday and again this morning. He told me he might even be released from the infirmary tomorrow or the day after. Isn’t that great?”

Hermione nodded and sat down next to Ginny with a smile. “It is. He’s been to the Hospital Wing way too often in the last weeks for my liking. I imagine he was happy to see you.”

“He was. The afternoon was amazing. We’ve been talking so much, not just about Quidditch. It’s really funny but Harry just gets me in a way that no one else does. Does that sound strange?” Ginny asked hesitantly. But Hermione shook her head with a melancholic smile. 

“Not at all. I love the idea that someone like that is out there for every one of us, someone who really  _ gets _ us. If Harry is this somebody for you... “ she swallowed and making a quick decision she said: “..then you are lucky to have found him. Fight for him, for what you want, because you’ll probably regret it later, if you don’t.” Then she realized that she had said those words louder than intended and several students around her, Ron and Lavender included, stared at her with a dumbfounded expression. But Ginny just looked at her with a genuine smile.

“You really think so? You think I’d have a chance with Harry? Because I’m afraid all he sees in me is Ron’s little sister,” her friend mumbled, oblivious to the looks her brother bestowed on them. 

Hermione resolutely ignored him and instead looked at Ginny with an encouraging smile. “I don’t think you’re just Ron’s little sister to him now. But to find out what else you are or could be for him, you should probably start spending more time with him. Sometimes that’s all it takes to fall in love.” She realized that her cheeks slightly pinkened at those words, but she did not care. No one, not even Ginny, would ever guess the truth. 

“That sounds like you’re talking from experience,” Ginny murmured knowingly but at that Hermione sighed, before forcing a careless smile onto her face.

“Well, I do spend a lot of time with my books and Crooks and without doubt I love them very much.”

Ginny stared at her for a moment, but then she broke out into a grin. “You’re impossible,” she said, before continuing to eat her breakfast with a wide grin. Hermione chuckled, even though her heart still felt heavy from the conversation. Maybe she should follow her own advice, she thought, but that would mean risking her friendship with Severus. She was terrified to lose him, but maybe she should start trusting their bond and the fact that they were indeed Kindred Spirits. She was sure that he was the one for her, but how could she ever make him see her as more than a student and a friend?

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“What do you think you’re doing setting up my sister with Harry like that?” Ron’s voice shouted after her, as she made her way towards the DADA classroom. She had half expected him to follow her, as she had been aware that he had listened in to her conversation with Ginny. “I thought  _ you’re _ the one dating him now.”

Hermione turned around, her eyebrow raised questioningly at her former friend. “If you would have ever bothered to  _ ask _ either of us, Ron, you would have been aware that Harry and I are nothing more than friends, that we will  _ never _ be more than friends. But you just  _ assumed _ , didn’t you? Well, you assumed wrong.”

Ron just stared at her, the colour in his face rising while his hands were balled into fists. “You dumped me for  _ him _ ! Not only did you run off from our date, you avoided touching me afterwards. What was I supposed to think?”

“I did not  _ dump _ you, Ronald. I went to help Harry! You were the one insulting me before running off snogging Lavender Brown, without even bothering to  _ talk to me _ !” Hermione shook her head, staring at her former friend in disappointment. “But that is what you always do, isn’t it?”

Ron stared at her, his teeth and fists clenched. “That is not fair, Hermione, and you know it. You could have said  _ something _ after Harry got hurt but instead you acted like nothing happened. You didn’t tell me anything. Not how brewing with Snape went or why you suddenly avoided touching or  _ kissing _ me.”

Hermione took a deep breath. She would stay calm here and not shout at him, because doing so would tell him that he had found a sore spot. “I did not kiss you because I  _ hated _ it, Ron. I hated how it felt and how wet it was, but  _ gods _ . How was I supposed to tell you that without you being hurt or simply running off? I know how easily you feel hurt or insulted.”

The redhead stared at her, dumbfounded, his mouth gaping open. “You weren’t very good at it either, Hermione. It’s not like you can learn everything from a book. Lavender on the other hand…  _ she _ knows what she’s doing.”

There it was again, the stab in her heart, the thought that maybe it was her fault. But no, Severus' words still clearly rang in her ears and it gave her the strength not to cower before him. Instead she proudly raised her chin and said: “Just so you know, Ronald. I  _ did _ have prior experience, with Victor. And we did just fine together. But that doesn’t even matter now. Maybe we were just not meant to be, Ron, maybe the chemistry between us was simply all wrong.”

He shrugged gloomily. “Whatever. So what now? Are we just going back to being friends now?”

For a moment Hermione just stared at him, and maybe a few weeks ago she would have agreed. But having Severus now and knowing what a real friendship looked like, and especially after their conversation yesterday, she could not help it. She laughed. “No, Ron. I do not think so. So far I have not heard any apology for you r abysmal behaviour towards me, which probably is because you don’t even  _ realize _ how hurtful the things you did and said  were . But even if you _ did  _ apologize. What kind of friendship did we even have? You and Harry talking about Quidditch while I did half of your homework - not even bothering to ask about the stuff I was interested in. I honestly don’t think I want to go back to that, Ron, not really.”

She could tell that she had hit a nerve, because suddenly the expression on Ron’s face became… ugly... and Hermione braced herself for what was to come. “Then don’t,” he said with a snort. “ _ You’ll _ be the one not having friends afterwards, because it’s only a matter of time until Harry gets bored by you as well.”

Hermione looked at him coldly, an expression that would have made Severus proud, and shrugged. “I prefer having no friends to have a shitty one like you, Ron. I wish you all the best though, you and Lavender, but I w ill ask you to leave me alone from now on.”

With that she turned around and left, without waiting for his answer. She had heard enough, and after knowing Ron for years, she was sure that his behaviour would only get worse from here. And that was not something she planned to endure. Not any longer.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus watched Hermione march away from the red-headed idiot, her chin raised and her back ramrod straight. Weasley watched her leave, his face morphed into a mask of anger. But luckily the idiot did not move, and therefore Severus had no reason to intervene, not when Hermione had held herself so admirably. She had not needed his help, and with this idiot, she probably never would again. He was so proud of how she had taken his words to heart. She had fought back and most importantly, she had not just forgiven him and gone back to letting herself be used by the unworthy git. And Severus could not help but think that it was because of what he had said to her the day before. 

Still, he felt like Weasley needed to learn his lesson, and he would see that he did. That moron would not hurt Hermione again, not when he could prevent it. He would need to be clever about it, though. Luckily he did already have an idea of what to do and he was kind of looking forward to seeing the result. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	50. Dumbledore’s suggestion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends. The weekend was over much faster than I expected but I managed to write enough to be able to give you another chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> This chapter was kindly betaed by Justsare. 

The next afternoon, as soon as he had some time to himself, Severus started brewing a special potion. The potion would have to be made very carefully in order to remain undetected, and harmless to anyone else but Mr Weasley, which would take time. But with the right monitoring and stirring charms, it would be doable for him without taking up too much of his time. With a bit of luck, his little experimental potion would be finished within a week, and going by the boy’s idiocy (and years of experience with supervising teenagers), Mr Weasley would have upset Hermione enough by then to deserve what Severus had planned for him. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“Any news?” Severus asked, staring at Albus calculatingly. The Headmaster had been suspiciously silent, the seemingly ever-present twinkle in his eyes missing. He was worried, this much Severus could tell, and he did not like that at all.

“The wards placed on Miss Granger’s room were unchanged. They were not taken down or manipulated in any way. Still, the intruder found a way to pass them without any of us being alerted. It is most worrisome,” Albus explained, his expression grave. 

“Indeed,” Severus agreed darkly. “Do you have any ideas about how such a thing is possible? I do not think any of the students would be capable of such a feat, which would rule out Mr Malfoy, don’t you think? He might be a Death Eater now and determined to kill you, but he is not that clever or resourceful.”

Albus stroked his beard. “I must agree. Not many would be able to trick the wards in such a way. But why suddenly Miss Granger? Do you think Tom has already guessed her connection to you? After all, Bella did try to kill her not too long ago. Could this be her, trying again?”

Severus felt sick to his stomach. “She liked to play with her prey, and this message left for Miss Granger could indeed be her handwriting. Which would be most worrisome. If it is Bella being after her, Miss Granger is not safe on her own. Bellatrix is dangerous, not only because she is a capable witch. She is mad as a hatter, Albus, and has an appetite for blood and torture.” He paused, then said, almost in a whisper, “We cannot let Hermione fall into her hands, Albus.”

“Of course not, my boy. We will do everything we can to protect your bond-mate. Her staying in your quarters is only the first logical step. I do have a few more ideas. But those are best discussed with the girl in person. Should we fetch her right away?”

Severus nodded. There was no reason to put this off, not if it was indeed Bellatrix after Hermione. With that crazy witch potentially inside Hogwarts, things did indeed look grave. One reason more to keep his mate as close as he could.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


By now Hermione must have been to the Headmaster’s office more often than Harry ever had, and that in a pretty short amount of time. It was strange that Albus Dumbledore suddenly had such a big interest in her whereabouts, because even though she seemed to be a target now, Harry was too. So why was it only her talking to the old man? Harry had told her why the Headmaster had been avoiding him in their fifth year. Was it possible that he still did, at least as much as he could? It was possible, she guessed, or was this Albus Dumbledore treating her like the adult she now was, trying to manipulate her? her conscience whispered with Severus’ voice. 

“Ah, Miss Granger. Do come in,” the Headmaster greeted her as soon as she had reached the top of the stairs to his office. The man was sitting at his desk, like he usually did, but at his right side, there was Severus, staring at her with a serious expression. And even though his presence in this office probably meant bad news, she could not help but feel reassured that he was here. 

“Professor Dumbledore, Professor Snape,” she greeted politely, nodding towards both men while slowly walking into the office. 

“I hope you find yourself back in good spirits and health. I am aware this is quite a challenging and stressful situation for you. Which is why Professor Snape and I want to support and help you as best we can, and why we have called you here today."

Hermione nodded, and carefully walked towards the middle of the room. For a moment she considered sitting down, but as Severus was still standing, she decided to remain standing as well for now.

"That is very kind of you," she said, smiling shyly.

"Actually, it is what he promised your parents. Apart from that, it is his job," Severus said dryly. "And mine too."

Professor Dumbledore did not say anything to that and instead pointed towards the cushioned chair standing in front of his desk. "I suggest you sit down, my dear, and maybe help yourself to a lemon drop, too. Some things are better discussed while seated comfortably."

For a moment Hermione hesitated but then she followed the man's invitation and Severus sat down shortly after, transfiguring a chair for himself right next to her. It felt strange having him there instead of facing him, like it used to be when facing one of her Professors. It showed her once more that Severus was now more to her - and more importantly, that she was more to him than just a student. 

"Unfortunately we have so far not discovered who the person intruding into your chambers was. But Severus believes that Bellatrix Lestrange is a possible suspect in that matter and I agree with him," Professor Dumbledore explained calmly, but Hermione felt a pool of dread settle in her stomach. If it was really Bellatrix Lestrange after her - and maybe Harry too - then that was ten times worse than if it had just been Draco Malfoy, like Harry had expected. Against Draco Malfoy she would have been able to defend herself in a duel; against Bellatrix Lestrange on the other hand… 

“ She is very dangerous, is she not? Do you think she is using Polyjuice or something?” Hermione asked, her eyes seeking out Severus. “Because if she is, she should appear on the Marauder’s map. Barty Crouch Junior did, back in my fourth year, only we did not realize it was him, as everyone assumed he was dead.”

Severus nodded, his lip twitching. “We should definitely check that map then. Would you collect it from Potter as soon as this conversation is finished? I will accompany you to the hospital wing.”

Hermione nodded. “Of course.”

That was when their little conversation was interrupted by the Headmaster clearing his throat and as Hermione turned back towards him, she could see him looking at them with an amused twinkle in his eyes. “A very good suggestion, Miss Granger. But I am afraid there is more that needs to be done. You will remain living with Professor Snape for now, as he is our best choice when it comes to protecting you.”

“Of course,” she said, but then she looked at Severus. “But only if this would be acceptable to you, Sir.”

Her friend nodded calmly, his expression giving nothing away. “I am sure we will adapt ourselves to that new situation.”

She nodded shyly. He probably treasured his solitude, but she would do her best to not overly annoy him by being too chatty or in any way disruptive to his daily routine.  Because she liked living with him, sleeping in his bed, and she would do anything she could to make this situation last as long as possible. 

“Excellent,” the Headmaster exclaimed, staring at her with his hands folded in front of his chin. “Furthermore I am afraid that it will be too dangerous for you to walk through the castle or Hogsmeade alone, or even in small groups. The same goes for Mister Potter, of course. Therefore it might be unavoidable for you to resign your position as a Prefect, no matter how big of a sacrifice that might seem to you. But doing patrols seems too big a risk, given the current situation.” 

Hermione swallowed heavily. She could see the reasoning behind that request, but that did not mean she could easily give up what she had been working for school year after school year. In some of her fantasies, she had even imagined herself being Head Girl, one day, a dream she would have to give up now.  “Is there no other way? What if we ask the Ministry for help? They could probably send some Aurors to patrol the castle. Maybe add one Auror to each Prefect group. That would make the castle much safer, not just for Harry and myself.”

It probably was not right of her to question the Headmaster like that, but her recent discussion with Severus encouraged her to speak her mind anyway. Because she thought that she actually had a good point. 

“Unfortunately the Ministry has failed to stack up its Auror corps during the last few years. And ever since Lord Voldemort has been sighted in the Ministry during the summer, they try to remedy that mistake. But they don’t have nearly enough Aurors available to send over some of them on a daily basis. Apart from that the Ministry, and the Minister, are as much of a target as Mr Potter or yourself,” Professor Dumbledore explained, his voice serious. “Currently we can only do our best and by that I mean each of us. We all have to do our part if we want to make it through these terrible times.”

“I see,” she said, tonelessly. “Is there anything else you need me to do, Sir?”

Albus Dumbledore stared at her with a kind smile. “Not exactly. I know that I can rely on your discretion to not get yourself into unnecessary trouble. You have shown more maturity than most of your classmates already.” The old man smiled, continuing: “I do have a suggestion though, for both of you actually. You need to improve your duelling skills, as well as Severus and even myself. For the rest of the Order I will assign regular training sessions, but the three of us seem to be in the greatest danger. Therefore I suggest we start working on our duelling skills, together, if that would be something you would be interested in.”

Severus stared at Professor Dumbledore with a stony expression. “You want me to duel you, to practise with you,” he said, without making it sound like a question. 

The Headmaster smiled. “Actually I thought at first, both of you could duel me, for educational purposes of course. You are very well versed in Dark Magic, Severus, a skill that I value and that could help Miss Granger to realize what she could be facing, if it is indeed Bellatrix after her. Of course I do not expect her to actively join the fight, but that does not mean she cannot be prepared nevertheless.”

Severus did not reply to that, but from his expression Hermione could read that he was not overly fond of the suggestion. And she did not know what to think, either. How should she even be remotely helpful in a duel against Albus Dumbledore, the man who had faced and won against Gellert Grindelwald. In such a duel she would be the third wheel, or probably even a hindrance for Severus. On the other hand, danger was coming, and it was probably only a matter of time until she would be forced to face the next Death Eater and fight for her life. 

“I don’t know, Sir,” she mumbled hesitantly. “I really don’t want to be a bother and…”

“I think it’s a good idea,” Severus interrupted her calmly. “You will need to learn, eventually, not to kill, but to defend yourself. And I don’t think you need to worry about hurting the Headmaster.” His mouth twitched. 

Hermione nodded, her teeth nervously chewing at her bottom lip. “Won’t I get in your way or something?”

At that, her friend turned around and stared at her with a serious expression. “Possibly. Which is why you need to learn how to behave and at least properly shield yourself. We established that your life is getting more and more dangerous and when it is time I will stand by your side and fight for you. But when that day comes, you will need to know what to do.”

She swallowed heavily and nodded. “Of course. I will do my best to learn.”

Severus nodded, before turning back to the Headmaster. “Good. I suggest we start as soon as possible. What do you think, Albus?”

The Headmaster smiled. “I agree. With Miss Granger’s time no longer being occupied with Prefect duties, we could start as soon as tomorrow, if you wish.”

Hermione nodded, even though her heart started to beat nervously in her chest. She doubted that those lessons would be in any way comparable to anything that she had ever seen in class. And she could not help but be thrilled and scared about that at the same time. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


When Severus left Albus’ office with Hermione at his side, he did so with mixed feelings. It was quite obvious what the man had been planning and maybe it had been a mistake to agree to those lessons and encourage Hermione to join them. In one thing Dumbledore was right: they needed to start practising their duelling skills,  _ all of them _ , if they wanted to survive the war that was about to come knocking on their doors. He knew for a fact that Lord Voldemort was constantly letting his Death Eaters face each other, half for his own and his followers’ amusements; half to keep their reflexes sharp and their duelling skills fresh. Back in the last wizarding war the Order had sometimes practised as well, but with Potter and Black frequently leading those sessions, they had been next to useless, because those idiots were too proud to really deal with Dark Magic. They, of course, were too noble to cast such spells, which left those Order members that weren’t Aurors next to helpless when encountering a group of Death Eaters. And Severus swore that he would do better by Hermione. 

It did not take them long to get to the hospital wing and Potter’s private room. The boy was sitting upright today, the youngest Weasley girl at his side, wearing a wide smile. Seeing the two of them like this reminded him of the older Potter and Lily, and a few months ago that thought would have been like a stab into his heart. Now it barely registered with him. 

“Mr Potter, Miss Weasley,” he greeted them calmly, prepared to endure the boy’s usual bad manners. 

But Potter just stared at him and Hermione with wide eyes, before he said: “Professor Snape, Hermione! Do come in!”

He looked at them with a smile that was full of gratitude and it was such an unusual sight that Severus had to pause for a moment. Hermione, who was next to him, did not hesitate though and hurried towards her friend, hugging him with an exclamation of happiness. “Oh Harry, I’m so glad you are feeling better!” she mumbled into his chest and the boy looked at her with a brotherly smile. 

“Much better, thank you,” the boy said, patting Hermione’s back. Severus watched them detachedly for a moment before he realized that he did not mind Hermione touching her friend, especially as their physical contact was over soon enough. Severus watched Hermione sit down at the boy’s side, with a happy smile, while he carefully moved closer, halting at the end of the boy’s sickbed. 

“The balm you provided, Sir, is working excellently,” Harry said, smiling genuinely. “But I don’t imagine you came to inquire about my health. What can I do for you, Professor?”

“We came to ask a favour of you, Mr Potter,” he replied, his hands folded behind his back. “But before we continue this conversation you might want to ask your other friend, to wait outside for a moment. It will not take long.”

There was a moment of resistance in the boy’s eyes, but finally he nodded towards Miss Weasley, an apologetic smile on his face. The girl understood without him needing to say a single word and left the room, without making a fuss. Good. Maybe this conversation would not be as hard as he feared.

“Miss Granger has admitted that you are in possession of a certain map... and we need you to check the castle for intruders.”

At that the boy’s eyes lit up in curiosity and delight. “Intruders, you say? Do you think a Death Eater found a way into the castle again, maybe by using Polyjuice?”

Severus smiled. “We are not sure, but unfortunately it is a possibility.”

Potter nodded in understanding. “I will check the map. Even if they are not showing on it right now, it is still possible they somehow found another way into the castle. I will check the map as often as I can without it being suspicious, and contact you as soon as I find something.”

Severus nodded approvingly. “Thank you, Mr Potter. There is something else,” he started and made himself ready to tell the boy about all the restrictions Albus planned to place on him. The boy would hate it not to be allowed to roam the castle alone, or Hogsmeade for that matter. But he trusted that Hermione would eventually get through to the boy and convince him to do the responsible thing, for once in his life. But maybe that was also just wishful thinking from his side. 

  
  


Sssssss

  
  


“We didn’t find her,” Hermione mumbled sleepily, staring at the ceiling of his bed, worry written all over her beautiful face. “Or anybody else that should not be here.” 

Severus was lying next to her on his side, not touching but only just, while he soaked in the warmth and scent from her body. Today it was especially hard to stay away from her, to maintain his role as her friend, when all he wanted to do was to pull her into his arms and make her truly his. It took all his willpower not to think about how she would taste when he kissed her or how delicious her moans and whimpers would sound, when he touched her and made her feel as good as was physically possible. Gods, he really needed to pull his thoughts out of the gutter, or else the desperate wank in the shower half an hour ago would have been for nothing, when that traitorous erection reappeared. It was like he had gone back to being a teenager again, having only a minimum of control over his body and his hormones. 

Severus hummed in agreement. “Either there is currently no Death Eater in the castle, or they have found another way to manipulate Potter’s map. And about your wards… they could have imperiused somebody, of course.”

Hermione nodded mutely, her eyes staring straight at the ceiling. For a while neither of them spoke, and Severus started to wonder what was on his friend’s mind when she suddenly said: “I do not mind staying with you, Severus. I enjoy it actually. But please tell me if you want time for yourself or when I am grating on your nerves. I really do not want to be a bother or make you feel in any way obliged to help me. You have already done so much.”

Even though she meant well, her words unsettled him in a way he could not grasp. Why did she think she was bothering him, that she was not welcome? “You are not a bother, Hermione, and you never will be for me. You are the most important person in my life right now. I do not have a family any longer and I do not have friends - apart from you. I am  _ grateful _ you are here, spending your time with me, trusting me with your life. I… appreciate it.”

“All right. Sorry if I am being overly complicated or something,” Hermione said before turning towards him with a tired smile. “I am just terrified, you know? Not only of being attacked by a Death Eater, but of disappointing you, or... driving you away with something I say or do.”

“You could never disappoint me, Hermione,” he murmured and for a moment he thought there was a flash of sadness in her eyes. But it was gone a moment later. Instead he became aware of her hand gently moving towards him, carefully taking his hand a moment later.

“Don’t say that, Severus. Because I don’t think that is true,” she said quietly. “But I will do my best not to, even though that means facing Albus Dumbledore in a duel.” He could have sworn she wanted to add something else, but she did not say another word. Instead she gently squeezed his hand before letting go of it again, turning back on her back. 

“Don’t worry, Hermione. He will not hurt you, and neither will I. It will all be well,” he promised, in the hope of comforting her at least a bit. 

She nodded slowly. “Yes, of course. I trust you, Severus. Good night.”

With that, Severus could see her close her eyes and after looking at her for a moment longer he decided to follow her example. “Good night,” he answered, knowing that sleep would not come to him for a while. Hermione said she trusted him. So why did she not want him to be the one teaching her Occlumency?

There were way too many problems he really needed to solve; the intruder to Hermione’s room only being one of them. 

  
  



	51. Playing favourites

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys. Here’s your next chapter. Enjoy! Let me know what you think of it. I am always looking forward to your comments. 

The next day Harry was back from the infirmary and it wasn’t only the members of Gryffindor’s quidditch team who were thrilled to see him. It only took seconds and Harry was swarmed by eager housemates, welcoming him back or clapping his shoulder. Hermione watched their display of affection sceptically, her wand readily in hand in case one of them was a disguised attacker, but when nothing happened she could not help but think that she was maybe getting a bit over-sensitive. But then she saw Severus watching Harry with concentration and suddenly she no longer thought so.

“I think you were right,” Ginny suddenly murmured next to her and when Hermione looked at her in confusion, she found the girl smiling. “About Harry possibly being the one for me and that I should just…” She waved her arms through the air, smiling shyly. “You  _ know _ …”

Hermione smiled. “Does that mean…”

Ginny grinned. “Not yet. But I think he likes me back. I plan on spending more time with him so he really has the chance to get to know me better and vice versa. That is… if you don’t mind me hanging around with the two of you.”

“Of course not,” Hermione answered, a big smile on her face. “But I might not always be there. Some things have come up recently.”

Ginny looked at her with a knowing grin. “I noticed. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody, not until you make it official. Does Harry know?”

For a moment Hermione just stared at her friend, her forehead wrinkling in confusion. “I… what are you talking about, Ginny?”

At that, her red-headed friend rolled her eyes. “I am not blind, Hermione. I’ve seen how you look at him when you think he does not notice. He probably doesn’t. Men are  _ so _ oblivious sometimes.”

Hermione sighed. “Nobody knows, which is how it’s supposed to be. It is not like we could  _ do _ something anyway, not with him being…” Now it was Hermione helplessly waving through the air, but she was sure Ginny got what she wanted to say. 

“Why not? You’re of age are you not? And if you really wanted to, there would surely be a way. You know, ever since you spoke to me the other day I can stop thinking about what you said, that there’s someone who just  _ gets _ us. If you think he’s that person for you…”

Hermione nodded, her throat suddenly feeling tight. “I think he might be, Ginny. But I don’t think he sees it like that. Why would he? I’m just…  _ me _ .”

Ginny shrugged. “So? Do you think Harry realizes? Those men can be thicker than the vault walls of Gringotts, sometimes. I am not going to let that drive me away, because you were right. I’d regret it otherwise.”

She stared at her friend sadly and suddenly she felt like she just needed to talk to her, properly, and tell her everything that had happened during the last few weeks. Because she thought that Ginny would understand, or at least listen to her, without condemning her for her feelings. “I know,” Hermione murmured sadly. “But for us… it’s complicated.”

Ginny nodded. “I can imagine. Do you want to talk about it?”

Hermione smiled shyly. “I’d love to. But not here and not now. How about I come to your dorm after classes are finished for today?”

The red-head grinned excitedly. “Deal.”

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“Hermione? What’s Crookshanks doing here?” Harry asked her, as they were sitting in the DADA classroom, Severus just having stormed in a few moments before. The Professor wore his usual mask of annoyance and boredom as he paced in the front of the classroom, lecturing them about different shielding techniques and the significance of dodging. 

Hermione had been following his explanations full of interest, taking mental notes in the hope that the knowledge would help her when she encountered Professor Dumbledore in the evening. Therefore she had not noticed that her cat had sneaked into the room, aiming straight for Professor Snape’s desk. Right when Hermione realized what was happening, Crooks jumped onto the table and settled on its middle with a self-satisfied meow. Hermione looked at him in mortification. 

“I have no idea,” she whispered, staring first at Crooks and then at Severus in panic. First, her friend did not seem to notice what had happened, but it was only a moment before the first students started to giggle which caused Severus to whip around and stare at them murderously. 

“I fail to understand what is so funny, Miss Parkinson,” he gritted out but instead of answering the girl just lifted a finger, pointing at the Professor’s desk. Immediately Severus turned around, staring at his desk with what looked like disbelief. 

“Whom does that ugly cat belong to?” he sneered a moment later, turning back towards the class and staring at them with a cold expression. It was like all traces of her friend had suddenly disappeared, hidden beneath that icy glare Professor Snape bestowed on his class. 

Slowly Hermione raised her hand, even though it suddenly seemed to weigh a ton. “It is my cat, Sir,” she said, her voice quivering ever so slightly. 

Severus’ eyes came to rest coldly on her, his voice dangerously calm as he said: “Then see that you  _ remove it from my desk _ , Miss Granger. Or did you bring it for a practical demonstration of your shielding abilities?”

Hermione nodded vehemently and hastily got up from her desk, hurrying to Severus’ desk with pink cheeks. There she grabbed Crookshanks around the middle and lifted him up, much to the cat’s annoyance. “Come on Crooks, you’re not supposed to be here,” she murmured while carrying him towards the classroom door. But she had not even made it halfway when Severus interrupted her:

“Where do you think you are going, Miss Granger?”

Hermione turned around and stared at her secret friend, lost. “Well, he cannot stay in the classroom, can he?” she asked, cradling her cat even closer to her chest.

“Nevertheless, you still have a class to attend, girl,” the Professor replied, matter-of-factly. “Therefore someone else will have to take care of your furry little problem.” With that, he turned away from her. “Grumpy.” 

It did not take long, until the little house-elf appeared, staring at Professor Snape with huge, brown eyes. “What can Grumpy do for Professor Snape today?”

“Take that cat to its current quarters,” he said coldly and pointed at Crooks, who was still cradled in her arms. Hermione looked back at him in hesitation, but then she kneeled down and handed Crookshanks over to Grumpy, realizing that both of them were almost equal in size. For a moment she asked herself how the tiny servant would be able to handle her unwilling cat, but as Crooks made to escape, Grumpy simply grabbed his bushy tail and apparated away, a protesting meow and a tuft of hair being the only thing that remained of her cat.

“Good. Now that  _ this _ has been taken care of, we can finally continue with our lesson,” Severus said, completely ignoring her. But what else was he supposed to do? It was not like he could play favourites with her now, as both of them had to keep up their appearances. But still, poor Crooks. She had told Severus that her cat would seek him out from now on, and she had been right. She just had not considered that Crooks would also approach him during class. This was indeed a must inconvenient development. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus was just about to pair the class up for their duelling practise when those damned brats started to giggle again, but this time he was forewarned. Hermione’s cheeky cat had indeed left his quarters again, walking all the way through the castle to return to the classroom, striding towards his desk like it owned the damned thing. A part of him was strangely amused about the whole situation, but of course, he could not allow losing face in front of those dunderheads, because he would have to remain a Professor teaching students that despised him. And usually, those only waited to find a soft spot they could attack for their amusement. He would not give them the chance to find one. 

After his house-elf had dragged away the cheeky cat this time, he carefully warded the door, making sure that the little pest would not get through. Then he instructed his students to start practising, while he took on Potter to help him improve his skills. This time the boy just nodded politely and got into position, and not once did he cast him a nasty glance when Severus disarmed or stunned him. Instead, he always nodded politely, thanked him and continued with the duel, his green eyes shining with determination. That was, until the boy suddenly stilled, staring at his feet with wide, disbelieving eyes. And there he was, Crookshanks, the little orange plague, and Grumpy who was fast on his heels. 

He was just about to say something when he got interrupted by Hermione’s voice in his mind: “ _ Severus _ ,” she said, sounding somewhat agitated and worried. “ _ Crookshanks just got back in, even though you warded the room. The same goes for that house-elf. _ ” 

For a moment Severus’ mind went blank and he asked himself why she had slipped on his bracelet to point out such an obvious thing. Until now he had handled that embarrassing encounter fairly well, he thought. But a moment later the realization hit him like a bludger and he could not help but curse colourfully in his thoughts, not caring if Hermione heard his filthy words. 

Fuck! She was right. He and Albus had in their arrogance totally forgotten to consider the elves, creatures that had their very own magic and could apparate in the castle, even though the wards prevented anyone else from doing so. Those creatures moved around without anybody even taking notice of them. They would have been easily able to modify Potter’s book when given the correct instructions, or to place those horrid objects on Hermione’s bed. And almost any rich wizarding family owned at least one of those creatures, knowing that they would follow any instruction, no matter how cruel, to the point. Bugger! If it was really an elf being sent after Potter and Hermione, they were fucked!

  
  


Sssssss

  
  


It was one of Hermione’s most painful schooldays, and that was really saying something. 

“Gods, Hermione, your cat! That was hilarious!” She was praised more than once from the boys and some girls in her group. “That was the best prank I’ve ever seen. It was totally worth the detention Snape gave you in the end. How did you make your cat  _ do _ that?”

Hermione had to answer this or similar questions at least five times, and no matter how often she assured the others that she did not  _ make _ Crookshanks do anything, that he had done those things on his own, most of the time it did not look like people believed her. It was the most annoying thing. But even worse was the fact that Severus had seemed unsettled by her discovery, making her realize that the house-elves could indeed be in on those last two incidents, and that was a disturbing thought. She did not suddenly want to view a whole race as her potential enemy, especially as she had no proof that the house-elves had indeed done something, but she could not help suddenly feeling paranoid when she walked through the corridors with her housemates. When she finally entered Gryffindor tower and Ginny’s dorm after school finished for the day, she was almost completely exhausted and she honestly did not know how to get through the conversation with her red-headed friend and a duelling lesson with Severus and Professor Dumbledore afterwards. But somehow she would - she had to. 

Ginny was already waiting for her, sitting cross-legged on her bed and looking at her with a wide grin, when she entered the room. Hermione walked over to her with a hesitant smile and as soon as she had sat down on the girl’s bed, Ginny pulled her bed curtains shut. Hermione carefully placed some privacy wards onto the bed, it had become a habit for her to do so, and Ginny watched her, full of interest.

“You’ll have to teach me some of those,” she said, grinning. “They seem like they could come in pretty handy when one wants some time alone or with one's future boyfriend.” 

Hermione smiled, remembering the many hours she had spent with Severus in her bed in Gryffindor tower, reading. “They might.”

For a moment neither of them said a word, and Hermione kept staring at her hands, not knowing where to even begin her story. She could feel Ginny’s eyes on her, analysing her without actually pressuring her for information. But as the minutes trickled by, the redhead said with a crooked smile: “So, you and Professor Snape, huh?”

Hermione chuckled humorlessly. “Yeah… and no. I told you it’s complicated and that barely even starts to cover it. I cannot tell you much about what happened between us, as some things need to be kept secret for now but… we are connected… magically I mean. It started when I got wounded in the Department of Mysteries. From there on it seemed almost impossible for us to spend much time apart from each other, we had to see each other at least every other day, or we would become physically unwell,” she mumbled and she saw Ginny’s eyes widen in interest. 

“That sounds… unusual… and interesting,” her friend said, while carefully taking her hand into hers. “I take it he didn’t like that, did he?”

Hermione shook her head. “Not at first, no. But with time we sort of became friends. We are spending some time together every day. Usually we read or discuss magical theory. It is nice, more than nice actually. He’s so different when we’re alone.”

Ginny smiled. “I imagined he would be. Otherwise you would not have fallen for him, would you?” 

She smiled sadly. “Am I that obvious?”

“Only now that we are alone, don’t worry. But suddenly I can read it all on your face,” his friend said full of sympathy. “Have you tried telling him how you feel? I mean, who knows? Maybe he’s as desperate as you are.”

“I… kissed him a while ago. He… made it pretty clear that friendship is the only thing he’s interested in,” Hermione confessed sadly. But Ginny did not react as she had expected, as she looked at her with blue eyes gleaming full of curiosity. 

“You kissed him,” she said, her mouth grinning with excitement. “You know Hermione, you’ll have to be a bit more descriptive than that. I want to know  _ everything _ , every little detail. Now start at the beginning…”

Hermione swallowed heavily and started her story. She could not tell Ginny everything, of course, because she needed to keep the nature of their bond to herself. But that did not stop her from pouring her heart out to her friend and with every word she said, she started to feel better.

  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  



	52. Out of control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Writing has gotten hard again. This chapter took my AGES to write, especially since I had planned it out differently in my head. But those two simply made it feel all wrong in the end so that I deleted the second part if it and completely rewrote it. Arrrgh! Maybe I will make an Outtakes-chapter at the end of the story so you’ll be able to see how things could have gone here and in other chapters. But I’m not sure.

Severus felt like he had been on edge for far too long. It was not only his list of tasks that seemed to grow and grow with every passing day. He needed to make a decision about what to do about Draco and Slughorn’s memory. But every time he attempted to act and do something, something happened that forced him to concentrate on other things. And even though Hermione was the most wonderful thing that had happened in his life, his feelings for her were also most distracting - and terrifying. His need to protect her paralyzed him as he constantly wanted to be in her presence, but when he was, he could not do anything about Slughorn or Draco. It was a disaster!   
  


But his priorities were clear: Hermione came first, and as long as he could not be sure she was well protected, other things had to wait - no matter how important they were. Maybe things would get better once Hermione learned to protect herself, but even then there was only so much she could do if the assassin was clever enough.

“Good evening, Severus,” Albus greeted him when he entered his office after dinner. Hermione would arrive by house-elf around eight, which was only a few minutes away. Therefore he only had so much time to inform the Headmaster of their current discovery, that there was a potential danger from the house-elves. Luckily Albus seemed fittingly concerned and promised to question the elves, as all of them were bound to him, as Headmaster of the school. They had barely finished their discussion when Hermione popped in, her hair tousled and a nervous smile on her lips. She was on edge, this much he could tell. But there was nothing for it. Hermione was under a lot of pressure and stress too, and there was only so much he could do about it right now. 

“Ah, Miss Granger. Always on time,” the Headmaster commented jovially. Severus on the other hand said nothing, and just nodded warmly towards his friend.

“Professor Dumbledore, Professor Snape,” Hermione greeted them politely. He saw her fidget, her eyes trailing through the room before she said: “Will we be training here? I’d prefer not to break anything, Sir.”

“There are some empty and long-forgotten classrooms attached to these quarters, Miss Granger,” the Headmaster replied with a kind smile. “In the past, the Headmaster sometimes used to give classes of his own. That practise fell out of use, but maybe we should restart it again, in the future.” 

Severus nodded and together with Hermione he followed Albus into the room next door. It was indeed an empty classroom with nothing in it other than five empty tables and a few chairs. Still, there was not a grain of dust on the surfaces, indicating that the house-elves were still taking care of the room, even though it was no longer used. 

“We should be quite undisturbed here,” Albus said, walking over to the other side of the room. Severus let him go and motioned for Hermione to come closer, which she hastily did. 

“Stay behind me, if you can,” he murmured. “I will try focussing the Headmaster’s attacks on my person, but you might need to shield against some stray curses. Can you do that?”

Hermione nodded, smiling hesitantly. “I think so. And it is the best chance we have.”

Severus nodded. It was. Albus Dumbledore was a powerful wizard and Severus did not have any illusions of beating him. But he would do his best and hopefully improve over time. 

“Alright Albus, Miss Granger and I are ready. Shall we begin?”

The Headmaster nodded with a small smile, before he silently pulled out his wand. Holding it in his spidery fingers he said: “Do not hesitate to use everything in your repertoire, Severus. You know he would not hesitate either.”

Severus nodded and with a flick of his wrist his wand was in his hand. Making a quick decision, he decided to use some of the curses he invented himself, hoping that Albus Dumbledore would not know how to counter them. But it was a futile hope. 

Soon the room was filled with magical energy, spells and curses flying left and right. His strategy seemed to work, as Albus seemed to be focussed on him, probably because Hermione did as she was told. She stayed back and shielded herself, knowing that landing a hit would be difficult for her. But it was all right. In case they should really encounter an enemy as powerful as Lord Voldemort or even Bellatrix, defending herself was all she would be able to do. 

It was not long before Severus was sweating, his wand spitting out curse after curse that Dumbledore blocked or skillfully redirected towards him. Then suddenly his tactic seemed to change, as without Severus noticing it two quick spells flew past him, hitting Hermione’s shield with a loud bang, still throwing her off her feet. She flew backwards, like a rag doll, her body connecting with the wall behind with a muted thud, before her body slid down to the floor. Luckily she got up a moment later, hastily scrambling to her feet, before erecting another shield in the hope of protecting herself. Still, seeing her get hurt did something to him and he aimed his next spells towards Albus even more determinedly. Albus did not seem impressed, though, and after every spell he blocked from him, he sent another spell back, towards Hermione. Fuck. 

The girl blocked the next two of them, her shield gleaming with magical power as she did, but he knew it was only a matter of time until another one of Albus’ spells would go through, because the man had much more magical power. Fuck! It was only a matter of time until she got hurt. 

He needed to end this somehow, needed to end this duel if this was the only chance of stopping Albus from attacking his mate. And that meant taking the old man out. With a flash of intuition, he went for his magical core and pulled out a big amount of magical energy, much more than he would usually use in a magical duel. At first, there was a bit of resistance, but he squashed it down and used the energy to cast a modified stunner, that was designed to break through the opponent’s shield. He usually did not use it, because it required a huge amount of magical energy to pierce through a magical shield, and when facing a real enemy he probably would not have risked it. But today he did and luckily his plan worked. Dumbledore did not expect his move and Severus could see his eyes widen when the spell broke his shield with a flash of light and a moment later he stumbled back and fell to the floor. 

_ Gotcha _ ! Severus thought, a small smile blooming on his face, but when he turned around to share his success with Hermione, she could see her lying unconsciously on the floor as well, her eyes closed, while her mouth was slightly open, as if she had made a sound of surprise, before she blacked out. Fuck! What had that old goat  _ done _ , without him even realizing it?

With a flash of panic he dashed towards her, feeling her pulse. It was unmistakingly there, even though it seemed somewhat weak and unsteady. Her skin looked pale and felt cool to his touch, when he cradled her face in his hands and pressed his forehead against hers in a moment of weakness. Mother of Merlin. Why did he have to see her like this over and  _ over _ again?

He was alerted by a movement behind him and when he turned around Dumbledore was standing behind him, his phoenix on his shoulder. The damned bird must have revived him right away. Severus stared at the man coldly, his voice angry when he asked: “What have you  _ done _ to her, Albus? This is not a regular stunner, it looks like…”

“...like her magical energy was drained?” the Headmaster continued his thought, a knowing smile spreading on his lips. “Indeed.”

It took all his willpower to not throw himself at the bastard, even if it was just to wipe that self-satisfied smile from his face. But the petite body on his lap held him back, grounded him and therefore he only growled: “She is  _ mine _ , Albus,  _ mine _ . You will not touch her and you surely will not do something like that again, are we understood?”

At that, the man’s smile got even wider. “But I did not touch Miss Granger. I have no interest in her magical energy and I surely would not do such a thing as robbing her of it.”

Severus stared at him in disbelief and confusion. “Then why is she unconscious on the floor, her magical core squeezed empty like a fucking lemon?” he asked, his voice dangerous. He wanted an answer and he wanted it  _ now _ . 

Dumbledore must have felt that, because a moment later he said: “Because you drained her, my boy. The connection between the two of you is much more than just sharing certain feelings or making it possible to assist the other one in healing. Did you not realize?”

It was like the man had dumped a bucket of cold water above his head, as he found himself stiffening with horror and dread. He had done that.  _ He _ had stolen Hermione’s magical energy without her knowledge, against her will. He could have possibly killed her in the process, or at least weakened her for days. But even worse than that was the realization that Dumbledore had known that something like that could happen. Maybe he had even provoked it. Fuck! He had been the one convincing Hermione that these lessons were in fact a good idea. But now he suddenly was not so sure any longer. Because he could not shake the thought that Albus had just played them,  _ again _ . And right now he could not decide whom he hated more for it: Dumbledore or himself.

  
  


Sssssss

  
  


Shortly afterward, Severus stumbled into his chambers, Hermione’s unconscious body in his arms. Albus had suggested that the house-elves could move them back, but then he would have to let go of her and that was something he could and would not do. Luckily the Headmaster’s floo was connected to his quarters and therefore it was only a short way, and no one had the chance to see them like this. It was a good thing, because Severus was sure he looked a mess, worry and guilt etched into his face.

He took her straight to his bed and laid her down on the mattress, before climbing in right next to her and pulling her into his arms. He had not even touched her when he had stolen her energy, but he hoped that his physical touch would help her now, as it usually did. Because he wanted to give that energy back to her, as he had no claim over it.

“I’m sorry, Hermione. I’m so sorry,” he mumbled over and over again, while pressing her against his chest, cradling her head with his hands. Slowly he could feel her skin warm up again, and when he took a look at her face he could see her cheeks becoming rosy again, indicating that she was starting to feel better. Thank god.

Then, finally, her breathing hitched and she awoke with a startled gasp, staring at him with wide, confused eyes. “What happened?” she mumbled.

“You passed out during the duel. It was my fault, I am sorry,” he said, locking eyes with her so that she could see how serious he was. 

“Why are you sorry, Severus?” she asked, shaking her head ever so slightly. “You protected me, as you promised you would.”

He sighed. “I drained your magical energy, Hermione, when casting that last spell. I did not even know it was possible, I swear it, but somehow this … connection between us made it possible for me to access your magic and I did so without realizing it.”

For a moment Hermione just stared, her caramel brown eyes shining like molten gold in the light of the candles he had lit in the room, and Severus had the feeling she looked right into his soul. Any second she would pull away, afraid of him or at least disappointed. But she didn’t.

“It’s okay, Severus. I believe you and I trust you, you know that,” she assured him, placing her delicate hand against his cheek. Her skin felt soft and still a bit cold and for a moment he closed his eyes and soaked in her touch. This girl was way too innocent and trusting, and way too kind.

“It is  _ not _ okay, Hermione. Because I just violated this trust, I violated  _ you.  _ Can’t you see that?” he asked, hoarsely. 

The girl in his arms shook her head, her fingers moving ever so slowly against his chin. “No. Because I’ve started to realize that our connection  _ is about _ sharing. We are sharing our dreams, some of our thoughts, our feelings even. We even shared our magic already, to help each other heal. It is only logical that we share our magic to defend each other as well. Don’t you see?”

“I…” he did not know what to say… or what to feel really. Inside him there was a big void of feelings: wonder about her kindness, anger at himself and an almost unsuppressable desire to kiss her. And every one of those feelings fought for dominance. 

But Hermione was not finished, her gaze unwavering as she continued: “I am sure you could never have accessed my magical energy if I had not been willing to share it with you, Severus. I am pretty sure our bond does not work like that. It is based on trust and affection and I am feeling both for you.”

He swallowed heavily, before he nodded slowly. “Still, I will not do so again, if it is not absolutely necessary. Doing so is dangerous, as it leaves you helpless and vulnerable, which is not what we want in a fight.”

Somehow he thought there was a flash of disappointment in her eyes, but it was hard to tell as it was gone a moment later. Instead she moved back, a small smile on her lips when she said: “Did it at least work, against Dumbledore, I mean? I always knew he was a powerful wizard, but after today I am so relieved that he is on our side.”

He nodded. “I broke through his shield but it did cost a lot of magical energy to get my stunner through. It worked though.”

“Good. I knew you could do it. What kind of spell did you use? I never heard of one that could break through shields - well, apart from the Unforgivables,” Hermione murmured, turning on her back and staring at his enchanted bed ceiling. 

“I designed it myself. It is based on a regular stunner, but I built in a way to overload it,” he said, slowly relaxing next to her. Hermione trusted him, which in the current situation meant two things. He could not disappoint her by letting his untamed feelings take over. But at the same time it also meant he needed to trust her as well, and if she said she had willingly shared her energy with him, then he would believe her. Hermione was the best thing that had happened to him in his entire life and he would do anything to keep her, because Severus Snape was a very selfish man and one day Hermione would learn just how selfish he was. 


	53. Defending you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends. I’m sorry there was no update at the weekend. But as I said: writing has gotten hard. Recently I just do not seem to be in the right mindframe for it. I hope it doesn’t show too much. 
> 
> My thank yous go to StephanieMRV and Justsare for supporting me and this story. You’re the best!

Hermione spent most of her Saturday catching up on her homework. For that, she went back into the Gryffindor common room, because even though she enjoyed Severus’ company, she could tell how terribly busy he was, even though he never actually spoke about the things he had to do. But she could feel the tension and stress radiating from him, could see the worry in his eyes and the restlessness as soon as she woke up in his bed in the morning. Severus had already been awake, staring at the enchanted ceiling of his bed, but at the same time appearing like he was not noticing much. It did not get better after they got up as he kept trailing off or was simply silent, totally buried in his thoughts. That was why Hermione asked if a house-elf could take her to Gryffindor tower. Because she had sworn to herself that she would give him space, whenever she felt he needed it. Apart from that, it gave her the chance to spend some time with Harry and Ginny. Both of them welcomed her back with a happy smile and Hermione noted how inseparable they seemed those days. And even though her heart tightened with jealousy, she was also happy for them. 

When she returned to Severus’ quarters in the evening, Severus was sitting at his desk in his office, correcting essays. The door to his chambers was left open though, making it easy for her to find him. 

“You’re back,” he said without lifting his eyes from the document, when she carefully took a look she could see that almost every sentence was marked with his red teaching quill. She did not know whom she should feel more sorry for: Severus or the poor student who would receive back their essay, ripped apart by Severus’ sarcastic comments. 

“I am and all caught up on my homework. You seem to need a while longer though. Mind if I dig through your books and sit on your sofa?”

Severus smiled. “No. I won’t be much longer.”

Severus kept his word. She had barely finished the first chapter of his book on the correct harvesting methods for several potion ingredients when he stepped back into his private quarters, firmly closing the door to his office behind him. 

“I have spoken to the Headmaster,” he said, his voice sounding strange. “He has spoken to the house-elves, or rather, he questioned them. All of them have sworn loyalty to Hogwarts, and therefore accept the Headmaster as their highest ranking master, which is why they cannot lie to him.”

Hermione nodded, carefully putting Severus’ book aside. “I believe that they cannot. What did they say?”

“Every single one of them swore that they did not place those objects in your chambers or modify Mr Potter’s potions book. There is no reason for us to doubt them. 

“I see,” she replied gloomily, because even though she had hoped that the Hogwarts elves were not behind those incidents, this also meant that they again were totally clueless. “But did they maybe see someone? Those elves are everywhere in the castle, after all, and I imagine they see a lot of things.”

Severus sighed. “They have not seen anything. But they will be on their guard from now on. No one who is not meant to be in the castle, will be able to enter it without the Headmaster and me knowing. Apart from that…”

Severus trailed off, suddenly sounding uncomfortable. 

Hermione looked at him with uncertainty. “What is it?”

“The Headmaster assigned you two personal house-elves, Hermione; the same goes for Mr Potter. They are tasked to protect you, in any way possible for them,” her friend answered carefully. 

Hermione stared at him with wide eyes, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach. She did not want a house-elf, but she could also see the reasoning behind this decision. None of the professors could constantly watch over her, not even Severus. Not only because people would ask questions, but they also did not have the time to watch over them 24/7. Her uncertainty must have shown on her face, as Severus continued: “House-elves are fierce little creatures and their magic is extraordinary. If somebody should be really stupid enough to attack you, you will be well protected. They will whisk you away and get you to a safe place within the blink of an eye, which is more than even I could do. I cannot apparate inside Hogwarts, and there would always be the danger of you getting hurt when I am duelling someone.”

She nodded. He was of course right. Still, she had the feeling that this wasn’t everything. “I understand,” she said, unable to suppress a sigh. “And I have accepted that house-elves are an integral part of wizarding society. I imagine my elves volunteered for those positions?”

Severus smiled. “They did. Albus said there was a big quarrel amongst them as to who would get the honour to serve you. Ever since you made peace with them, you seem to be a favourite of theirs. In the end, a female named Pretty and a male named Fiercely won out and they cannot wait to speak to you.”

Hermione smiled shyly. “Do you think I should call them? Just to say hello?” she asked and Severus chuckled. 

“You can - after we finish this conversation. Because there is more for you to know,” he said and with a sigh, he walked towards one of the armchairs and sat down. “I convinced the Headmaster, that your elves will only follow your commands, Hermione. They will  _ not _ answer to me, or even the Headmaster. They are still Hogwarts-elves because they refused to be set free, but you are their master. Therefore it will fall to you to give them tasks and therefore keep them happy and occupied.”

She nodded, the knot in her stomach growing. “I will do my best.”

“Good, because work is important for those two to stay healthy. It will be your task to provide it for them, as they are forbidden to do other work in the castle. This way we can make sure they are not tricked into doing something that could harm you. For them, it is a big sacrifice, but they took it gladly to be able to work for you. Don’t make them regret it.”

It felt strange being lectured by Severus this way, but going by the information he gave her, she could see the importance of him doing so. Having enough work seemed essential for an elf’s health, it seemed, and she would do her best to find the right amount of tasks for her two… servants? Protectors? Which word should she even use for them? “Of course. Thank you for being this frank with me, Severus. Is there anything else I need to know?”

Severus looked at her, an unreadable expression on his face. “Now that you have your personal guards, it will no longer be required for you to stay in my quarters. You can rest assured that you will be very well protected, even when you sleep,” he said, and Hermione felt her stomach drop. Of course, she had known that this … arrangement would only be a temporary one. But she had secretly hoped that it would last a while longer. 

“Do you want me to leave right away?” she asked, her voice sounding somewhat hollow. 

Her friend sighed. “Only to take your stuff back to your room and instruct the elves. You can come back to my quarters afterwards if you like. Other than us spending the night in the same bed, nothing will change, all right? I requested your fireplace be connected to the floo network. This way we can still see each other in the evenings and spend time together. How do you like that?”

She did not like it at all, Hermione realized, but that was something she did not dare to admit. Not when Severus had been so gracious towards her. “It is a good solution,” she, therefore, replied neutrally and plastered a smile on her face. “All right. I will go back to my rooms then and call the elves there. I hope I will not insult them by asking what amount of work would be desired by them. But all of this is very new to me.”

Her friend smiled encouragingly. “I am sure they will understand and appreciate your honesty. You will do well, I am sure of it.”

Severus’ words made her feel better considering the task lying ahead of her. Hermione cast him a grateful smile. “I’ll see you in a bit then.”

Her friend nodded before he guided her to his fireplace. “Your quarters are called the Otter Den. The Headmaster named them, I’m afraid. We will get used to it.”

Hermione nodded, before stepping into the flames. “I am sure we will,” she said because secretly she found that the name was rather fitting.

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


When Hermione arrived in her room, it felt cold. It was not the temperature itself, more the fact that living with Severus and finding those gruesome things on her bed had made her want to avoid having to live in those rooms ever again. But that had probably been wishful thinking. 

With a sigh she stepped out of the fireplace and dusted herself off, before she called for her personal elves, Pretty and Fiercely. Both of them appeared momentarily and greeted her with a deep bow and a happy smile on their faces.    
  


“Fiercely is very honoured to serve young mistress Hermione,” the young, male elf replied and Hermione took in his brown hair and bright blue eyes with interest. He indeed seemed more muscular and healthy than any other elf Hermione had seen so far and suddenly she asked herself if there were also different professions among house-elves. 

“Pretty is also very happy she was chosen as Miss Hermione’s personal guard. Miss will be a good mistress. She is very popular among elves,” the little female squeaked and just now Hermione realized how small she was. She had blonde hair, which seemed to be quite rare among house-elves and her eyes were almost lilac, which indeed was pretty in its very own way. 

“Thank you Fiercely, Pretty,” Hermione answered, nodding towards her house-elves with a kind smile. “I will do my best to not disappoint you. I am sure with time we will become good friends.”

Both elves nodded with wide, excited eyes. Somehow they were like little excited kids eager to start a new task. She realized that she would love to build a friendship with those two, no matter what an unlikely friendship that would be. She was sure that they could learn a lot about each other, if they could bring themselves to be open and honest with each other. She wondered if asking them questions counted as giving them work? Maybe. Because suddenly she was eager to write down everything she could find out about them, even if it was just to help other Muggleborns to avoid making the same mistakes she had made.

_ ‘How to maintain a healthy relationship with your house-elves,’ _ sounded like a pretty good working title. It maybe was a bit long, but for now it would do. 

  
  


Sssssss

  
  


This was totally unacceptable, Crookshanks thought, watching those blasted elves carry his basket and food bowls out of the raven-man’s chambers. For no more than a few days had he been able to enjoy the man’s hospitality and those deliciously long fingers stroking his fur. Once or twice he had even been able to nick some of those delicious little snacks his elected master kept in his shelves, and by now he had marked all of his favourite spots by excessively rubbing his chin on all important surfaces over and over until they smelled just right. 

But it was of no use. It had not even taken a week for his mistress to skitter away from the raven-man again, packing all of their belongings to send them back into that small, boring room. Why? By now she must have seen all of the man’s treasures with her own eyes, but it had obviously not been enough to convince her to stay. Gosh, she was a demanding one, wasn’t she? Well, she would come around, eventually, after he had made his preferences clear to her. The Elves could take his possessions away; that did not mean he would follow them. He could eat those snacks directly from the shelf, he did not need those blasted bowls. And he could sleep on the raven-man’s sofa or maybe even in his bed, when he chose the right moment to sneak in. He just had to wait until his chosen master had made himself comfortable in those soft sheets and relaxed just enough to be unwilling to get up again. Then he could curl up into his side and warm him, if his mistress was unwilling to do so. She could sleep in that cold and empty bed alone. It would probably only take one night until she came crawling back, begging them to take her back in. They would, of course, because the three of them, was how it was supposed to be. Those two stubborn idiots just had to realize that first. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus had not even realized Hermione’s cat was still in his quarters until he had gone to bed after taking a long, hot shower. His covers still smelled like her, like Hermione, he realized, and took a deep breath that made his heart ache for her, but relaxed him at the same time. That was when he suddenly felt his mattress move under the weight of a smaller body, and a moment later he realized that Crooks was still there, walking towards him with careful steps, his yellow eyes glowing in the darkness. What was that little bugger still doing here? His mind was unable to come up with a logical answer because right now he was too tired to do so. Instead, he waited patiently until the orange fur ball had curled up against his chest, after he had greeted him by rubbing his soft head against his chest and face, purring loudly as he did so. Strange as it was, the beast seemed to like him, and Severus realized that he indeed liked him back. Unlike other animals, Hermione’s cat did not seem to be bothered by his broody character or the fact that he did not do baby voices when stroking them. He had never coddled him, but Crookshanks had still sought him out over and over, seemingly satisfied to curl up next to him, enjoying his presence. 

Well, he would let him stay, just for tonight. The bed was big enough and he could easily remove all the cat hair from his covers in the morning. No one would ever know he had shamelessly cuddled Hermione’s cat for a night. The girl would probably just assume the little bugger had gone hunting mice in the castle or something. Tomorrow he would send him back to his mistress, but tonight he would allow himself to enjoy his warm, steady presence a little longer. Because his huge bed would be empty again soon enough. 

  
  
  


Sssssss

  
  


“Now you’re not so superior, are you, Zabini?” Ron’s voice echoed through the room, accompanied by giggles and cheering. Somehow Hermione felt like she was having deja vú, the shouts and whistles reminding her of something Harry had told her about, and she could not help the hair on her neck rising in alarm. 

“Give it back, Weasley,” Hermione heard the other boy, Blaise, say and when she walked around the corner she could see him backed up against the wall, Ron in front of him, proudly holding the boy’s wand in his hand. Behind him there was a small crowd of Gryffindor girls, most of them fifth years or younger. Among them there was Lavender, who looked at her boyfriend with wide, admiring eyes. 

“Ronald? What are you doing? What’s going on here?” Hermione asked, walking straight towards the squabblers. 

Ron, who still had a self-satisfied smile on his face, turned towards her, saying: “Just teaching Zabini here a lesson. He has to learn to keep his Slytherin paws off our Gryffindor girls,” he said, before he motioned towards the girls behind him. 

“Was just saying hello,” Blaise Zabini said, staring at her former friend with a disbelieving smile. “And some of them did not seem to mind, at all.”

“See?” Ron said, as if that would explain his abysmal behaviour. “It’s not like we Gryffindors would want something to do with those bloody Death Eaters anyway.” The last bit, Ron mumbled, but it was loud enough for anybody to hear. Hermione shook her head in disapproval, before walking towards Zabini. She stopped halfway and turned around, facing Ron full of disappointment. The boy really was an idiot. 

“Not every Slytherin is a Death Eater, Ronald,” she said calmly. 

“How do you know? Have you checked their arms?” Ron shot back, his eyes gleaming provocatively. “We can check Zabini’s right now, can’t we?”

“We are doing no such thing, Ronald. Have you lost your mind?” Hermione shouted louder than she intended to. “You’re going to leave him alone now, or you’ll get yourself in trouble.”

Ron snorted. “You’re no longer a Prefect, Hermione, have you forgotten? Apart from that, you’re a Gryffindor. You should be on  _ our _ side.”

“I might be a Gryffindor, Ronald,” Hermione said, her voice reflecting the disappointment she felt. “But I am not a bully. And I never expected you to be one.”

At that, Ron’s expression turned ugly. “Alright, then  _ don’t _ help me. At least step aside while I’m making sure our girls are safe from this Slytherin scum. And I wouldn’t want you to get hurt, you know. We  _ used to be friends _ , after all.”

Hermione shook her head and made no attempt to move aside. Back in muggle school she had often enough been the victim of bullying, and every time she wished that there was someone willing to defend her. “I’m not going anywhere, Ronald.”

The red-head shrugged. “Alright, then don’t.” Until the last moment Hermione hoped it would not come to this, but her former friend raised his wand, pointing it at her. That was when she snapped. Her wand was in her hand momentarily, as she always carried it in her wand-holder, the one that Severus had given to her, these days. The spell Ron had cast never reached them, as it simply reflected from the shield she had non-verbally erected. Hermione heard the girls behind Ron gasp in surprise, while her former friend stared at her angrily. 

“I can’t believe you’re taking his side,” he muttered, but Hermione had heard enough. Her non-verbal Levicorpus hit Ron totally unexpectedly, making him helplessly dangle in the air a moment later. Hermione watched him in detachment, registering that she didn’t even feel sorry for the twit. 

“So much for that,” she muttered, stepping towards him coolly, taking his and Zabini’s wand out of his hand, without saying a word. 

“Let him down, you…” Lavender shrieked, storming towards her boyfriend with angry tears in her eyes. But Hermione simply ignored her. She could help him down herself, if she even remembered the counter-spell. Instead she turned around and walked back to Zabini, who looked at her with an amused expression.

“Did not think you had it in you Granger,” he said, but then he stiffened, looking worriedly past her..

“Well, well. That is a display I never expected to witness,” Professor Snape’s voice drawled behind her and she did not have to turn around to be aware of the expression on his face. “The Gryffindor princess duelling not one but two students in the halls of Hogwarts. I did not expect you to leave your responsibilities as a Prefect behind you this fast. What are our rules concerning duels in the corridors, Miss Granger?” he asked, his voice cold as ice. Hermione slowly turned towards him and even though Severus was secretly her friend, she knew that it would not help her in this situation. He could not favour her in front of the others, or in general. 

“They are forbidden, Sir,” she replied, looking at him calmly. 

“Then tell me, girl, why there’s one boy dangling top down in the air, while you hold another one's wand?” he asked, his eyebrow raised challengingly. 

“Sir,” Blaise Zabini said from behind her, but Professor Snape silenced him with a gesture of his hand. Then he shook his head, looking around the room in disappointment . 

“This will be 20 points from each of you,” he said, looking between her, Blaise and Ron. Then he lifted his hand and without him saying a word, Ron’s jinx was lifted and her former friend crashed to the floor, causing the girls behind him to squeal and scream simultaneously. The Professor did not pay them any mind. Instead, he looked at her and said: 

“You and Mr Zabini will accompany me to my office,  _ now _ . And then we will see if we cannot drive this message home. Now hand Mr Zabini’s wand back and move, girl.”

Hermione nodded and did as she was told. Severus and Blaise Zabini followed her closely as she passed Ron and the other Gryffindors. The expressions on their faces were mixed, but none of them really seemed to feel sorry for her. Not that she gave a damn about any of their opinions, not any longer. 

  
  
  
  


  
  
  



	54. Bad surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends. Writing is continuing to go slowly and most of the time I am not really happy with what I’m doing. But I just keep going, trusting my brilliant Alpha and Beta to tell me, if I am messing up. And so far they were silent on that matter.
> 
> And so here is the next chapter for you. Enjoy!

When Severus led Hermione and Mr Zabini to his office, he had a hard time schooling his expression into one of annoyance and boredom, when such a big part inside him was cheering. Unfortunately, he had not seen the whole display, but he had seen enough to know that Hermione was no longer taking any shit from the Weasley brat - and that she had defended a Slytherin. But he could not openly show favouritism for a student, no matter what house they were in, and so he had to play his part like he had done for so many years. But Hermione could take it, he knew she could, and would understand the reasoning behind his actions.

Hermione, who was walking behind him, wore a proud expression and there was no sign of intimidation on her face. Her back was ramrod straight and her eyes were full of fire, which made her look like the Gryffindor princess she was often said to be. Before, he had found this name hilarious, as Hermione was far from vain or arrogant, which were character traits he had always associated with such a title. But now he could suddenly see it, the pride and fire in her eyes, clearly showing that she would not back away and instead defend her point of view, even against him.

“In,” he commanded as soon as they had reached his office and unlocked the door for them. Zabini deferred to Hermione and the girl stepped into his office coolly, halting in the middle of the room and waiting for him to start his interrogation. He did so, as soon as Zabini had closed the door behind him and taken his position right next to Hermione - interesting but not unexpected, as the boy was in her debt now.

“Now, Mr Zabini, would you care to explain how it came that you were disarmed by a Gryffindor?” he asked coolly. 

For a short moment, he saw Mr Zabini carefully consider his answer. Severus was sure the boy understood what he was doing. By not naming the aggressor in the conflict he left him the opportunity to decide which story they wanted to tell. 

“I was just walking back into my dorm, when I was passed by a group of Gryffindors, Sir. I greeted them, the girls that is, which obviously was unacceptable behaviour for Weasley. It was probably because his girlfriend smiled back.”

“I see,” Severus replied and carefully sat down at his desk. “What happened next?”

“He insulted my mother, Sir, and warned me to stay away from every female member of House Gryffindor. He was obviously worried about their safety or their reputation - I couldn’t quite tell,” Zabini continued, his tone slightly mocking. “I told him to stop being an idiot and explained that he does not make the decisions for other members of his house - male or female. He did not like it and attacked.”

“How does Miss Granger fit into this then? Was she one of the girls Mr Weasley aimed to  _ protect _ ?” Severus asked his last word a sneer, even though he was pretty sure Hermione would not have been found in the redhead’s presence. 

“No, she arrived after I was already disarmed,” Zabini answered and repeated the whole encounter. As far as Severus could tell, the boy was telling the truth, closing with the words: “You see, Sir, Hermione has not done anything wrong.”

Severus nodded, even though he felt a twitch of something when the boy addressed his friend so informally. But he hastily shooed the feeling away and turned towards Hermione, who had waited silently, even though he could feel the desire to speak up radiating from her. “That is debatable,” Severus replied dismissively and turned towards the girl. “After all, she  _ did _ attack.”

“Only after Ronald did so first,” Hermione defended herself, her chin raised. “If you want to punish me further, you’ll have to punish him as well.”

Severus shook his head, smiling bemusedly. “I never expected to see the day when Hermione Granger turns against a part of the Golden Trio. No longer feeling house-loyalty, are you?” 

Hermione wrinkled her forehead. “I do feel loyalty to my house and its members, but that does not mean I will stand by and watch them bullying another classmate. Even though I do hope that Ronald will be the sad exception here.”

“That remains to be seen,” he answered cryptically. “You may go, both of you,” he said and made a dismissive gesture with his fingers. Zabini did not question him and turned around on the spot, walking towards his door and keeping it open for Hermione. 

“You coming?” he asked, flashing the girl a charming smile. She nodded. Severus watched her go with a mix of pride and worry. Not that he thought Zabini would try attacking her, but the boy was known to be popular amongst the females and he was pretty sure Hermione had just awoken his interest - even if it was just to antagonize Ronald Weasley. Fuck. Couldn’t she have saved any  _ other _ member of his house?

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


When Hermione stepped out of Severus’ office, she released the breath she had not been aware she was holding. Not that she had been afraid of being treated unfairly by her friend, but keeping up this charade of being nothing more than professor and student was difficult and she was not sure if she had really managed it well. She had spoken up to keep her conscience clear, but she told herself that she would have also done so half a year ago - or at least she hoped so. 

“Thanks, Granger,” Zabini said and started walking next to her. “For helping me. You saved me from being humiliated by that arsehole. You did not have to, as you don’t owe me a thing, but you still did. I hope this will not get you in trouble.” 

Hermione shrugged. “Ronald is probably furious. But I have stopped making excuses for him, or caring what nonsense he spouts about me. The few friends I have left will not believe whatever story he decides to spout and that’s all I care about. However, the rest of the school is another story entirely,” she said with a resigned sigh. She could already see the rumors spiking again.

Zabini chuckled. “Good for you. That idiot wasn’t worth your attention anyway. Want me to accompany you to your room, just in case?”

She shook her head. “No thanks. I’ll go to the Gryffindor common room first, which isn’t where you should be seen right now. Let the others cool off, first. Just in case… See you tomorrow?”

The boy nodded, flashing his flawless white teeth. “Of course. Ancient Runes, isn’t it?” 

Hermione nodded, smiling politely. “Yeah. See you there,” she said and started to walk away. She could feel Blaise following her with his gaze, his lean body casually leaning against the wall. For a moment their eyes met and his lips formed a smile that was more than just friendly. Hermione hastily walked around the next corner, shaking her head. She was probably just imagining things. The guy was probably only grateful that she had helped him. There was really no need to read any more into it than it was. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  
  


Hermione had barely entered the Gryffindor common room when she became aware of the acidic looks some of her housemates were bestowing on her. It was no surprise as Ron had had enough time to tell his tale while she had been to Severus’ office and had no chance to defend herself. 

“What did you think you were doing, hexing me like that?” Ronald shouted and stormed towards her, his hands balled into angry fists. “You lost us 120 points, in case you’ve missed that little detail.” His face was red and there was a group of girls, led by Lavender, following him in her direction. Harry and Ginny were somewhere in the back of the room, but Hermione could see them getting up, alarmed by Ron’s shouting. 

Hermione looked at her former friend with a raised chin. “ _ I _ lost us 120 points, Ronald? Really? I remember you being the one attacking Zabini, and me, afterwards. I did not even pull out my wand until I was sure you’d actually attack. So don’t you  _ dare _ to make this about me, you prick.”

Never before Hermione had talked to him like that and for a moment she could see him pause, taken aback. But finally, he said: “Gryffindors are supposed to stick together, especially in times like these. But instead, you decided to defend a snake, probably even a Death Eater. Can’t you see how you’ve been betraying us?”

That was it! Hermione had never been so incensed by Ronald in her entire life. He had hurt her so much over the years but to be this hypocritical about it, and in public, was too much.    
  
“Betraying us? Betraying us! You are such a fucking hypocrite, Ronald Bilius Weasley!” she yelled out. Everyone was blatantly staring now as she screamed. No one had ever heard Hermione Granger curse before, so for her to do so twice in the span of a minute was terrifying.    
  


“You have been the  _ worst  _ friend, not only to me but to Harry as well since first year. I nearly  _ died _ on Halloween because of your cruel words. You insisted we explore that damned chamber as well for a ‘brilliant adventure’. You boasted about playing a bloody chess game when I did nearly all of the work to get us through to the end. You kept egging Harry on about the Heir of Slytherin and constantly belittled me because unlike you, I have a brain and USE it. Then third year you kept whining and bitching about your stupid rat that turned out to be an Animagus. Sleeping with a grown man for three years must have been wonderful for all of you in the dorm, huh? Fourth year, oh don't get me started! You turned your back on Harry and accused him of entering the tournament on  _ purpose _ and refused to talk to him. Some ‘best mate’ you are. You were also so jealous of Viktor that not even you knew why you hated him. But did you take it out on  _ him _ , no! You mistreated me because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon and were too stupid to know why you were upset in the first place. Fifth year you were finally decent enough to pull your head out of your ass and mature. By the end of it I thought we could be something more. Come to find out it was only temporary and once more your head is so far up your ass that you make Percy look humble!  You have never once apologized for any of the cruel and hurtful things you have said to me over the years. You have guilt-tripped me and down right demanded I do your school work when it's your responsibility. You are nothing but a lazy, gluttonous, immature mamas boy with delusions of grandeur and an inferiority complex bigger than Napoleon!”   
  
Throughout Hermione's entire rant Ron had been going through a large cycle of emotions plainly written on his face. Everyone, however, could see which emotion was dominant, which made it no surprise when Ron decided to attack Hermione.  Except Hermione was prepared for it. Her shield flared to life just a moment before Ron’s jinx would have hit her. Therefore the spell was absorbed by it and Hermione had enough time to react. Her Expelliarmus was quick and fierce and she caught Ronald’s wand with a fluid movement. Without even saying another word, she turned around and walked away from him, his wand still in hand. 

“Wait, where’re you going?” the redhead shouted after her in obvious agitation. “You can’t just take my wand like that!”

“I’ll go and see Professor McGonagall. This was the second time you attacked me today, Ronald. But no more. You’ve made the mistake of attacking me in front of at least thirty witnesses. Let’s see what she makes of it, shall we?” Hermione answered, not even bothering to turn around. She had just reached the portrait hole, when she felt someone approach.

“We’re coming with you,” Harry said and when Hermione turned around, she could see Ginny at his side too, holding her friend's hand. 

“Absolutely,” Ron’s sister agreed, throwing her brother a disgusted look. “It’s about time my brother is taught a lesson on proper behaviour, because lately he seems to have forgotten what little manners my parents were able to drill into that thick head of his.”

Hermione agreed. She had endured the boy’s abysmal behaviour long enough. But today he had gone too far and Hermione was done making excuses for him. For once Ronald Weasley was going to feel the consequences of his behaviour. It was to be seen how he liked that.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  
  


If any person in the castle had not been aware of Ronald Weasley’s behaviour towards the golden girl, Hermione Granger, that was remedied during breakfast the next morning.

Already when the boy entered the hall, loud whispers and giggles could be heard from the students closest to him. Severus did not even have to raise his gaze to know what had happened, because right after he had heard of the boy's second attack, he had set his own plans into motion. His potion had just been finished in time and it had been an easy task to spike the boy’s pumpkin juice with it at dinner. He had designed the potion to not have an immediate effect, as to not raise any suspicions. This morning though, there was an unmistakable change to Mr Weasley, as his forehead was displaying the word ‘idiot’ in bright green letters. The boy had probably discovered his change in appearance after he had gone to the bathroom that morning, and going by the reddened skin on his forehead, he had tried to scrub and spell the letters away. Not that he would be able to. The word would stay, no matter who tried his hand at removing it. It would only fade when the boy had finally learned his lesson and properly apologized to Hermione, and that would probably take a long time.    
  
The morning got even more entertaining when a howler from the redhead’s mother arrived. Severus listened to Molly’s rant from the teacher’s table, taking in the boy’s mortified expression with just satisfaction, while he slowly stirred his cup of hot coffee. Not that he had needed an oral repetition of yesterday’s events as the news of Mr Weasley’s second attack and Hermione’s reaction to it had made it out of Gryffindor tower within minutes and the portraits had only been too eager to give him a word for word account of what had been said. Still, he very much enjoyed seeing the unworthy idiot squirm in his seat.

“As much as Miss Granger makes me proud of being the Head of House Gryffindor, Mr Weasley makes me feel ashamed for my cubs. The boy is just incorrigible. Well, we will see how Arthur will fare, when he arrives this afternoon. He usually is quite the understanding and supportive father, but since Miss Weasley insisted on floo-calling her parents and telling them the whole story, the man has been livid.”

Severus grinned internally. Minerva had not even commented on the boy’s changed appearance and the small gleam in her eyes told him that she approved. She probably assumed it was a “gift” from his twin-brothers and Severus would be an idiot to correct her.

Salazar, he would love to play mouse in that conversation between Mr Weasley and his father. The man was hard to anger but something told him that the boy was in for a bad surprise. Well, Severus guessed that one could not have it all. And maybe one of the portraits would tattle, which meant that either Minerva or Sybil would fill him in on the news at dinner. He just thought that this day would probably turn out to be a good day, when he became aware of the barn owl that had landed in front of Hermione, delivering a package of quills and parchment from his favourite shop, Scrivenshafts. He could see his friend inspecting the parcel confusedly, probably unaware of who had sent it to her. A moment later she seemed to have found a note, though, and her eyes travelled towards the Slytherin table, from where Mr Zabini watched her with a luxurious grin. As soon as Hermione’s eyes met his, he had the audacity to smile and wink at her, causing some students who had become aware of the display to whisper excitedly. Fuck. It appeared that the boy had chosen Hermione for his next conquest, and if he was anything like his mother, Severus feared the charm and determination Hermione would encounter. So far almost every girl had fallen victim to his charm and good looks, and going by the blush on Hermione’s cheeks, she was not immune to his charms either. Bollocks. With Weasley he could at least hope for the boy’s idiocy to ruin things with Hermione, but not with Zabini. The boy had most likely learned all the tricks from his mother. He knew what he was doing - how to seduce a woman - and in contrast to Severus, he had no reason to hold back. And he was much younger and better looking. This was going to be bad, Severus realized. He was fucked. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


To say that Hermione’s next days were unusual, would have been a vast understatement. All of a sudden people around her - especially Gryffindors - behaved differently. Most of them suddenly treated her with respect, some suddenly avoided her, while Ron, Lavender, and a small number of other students threw her hateful looks, and Hermione could not help but think that they were talking about her behind her back. Not that she cared about what they had to say about her.    
  


From Ginny she knew that Mr Weasey had been to the castle and taken Ronald for a long walk across the grounds of Hogwarts. Her friend could not say what the two of them had been talking about, but according to Ginny, Ronald looked thoroughly chastised afterwards. Especially after the cruel, but justified, prank someone had been playing on him, the one that made that word appear on his forehead, Hermione felt a little sorry for him - but not sorry enough to offer her help. No one of course admitted to having cursed or drugged Ron, but Hermione’s bet was on the Weasley twins or Zabini, even though she had no idea how any of them could have done it. It was a little mystery and Hermione was sure not to be the only one trying to solve it. Ron, and with him Lavender, were of course desperate for a way to undo what was done to the redhead, but after even Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall could not help him, they had to concede that a cure for him couldn’t quite be found that easily. 

  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  



	55. Unlikely friendships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again. I’m feeling a bit better lately and my muse has started to cooperate again. Thank Merlin! 
> 
> Thank you for all your encouraging comments and for sticking with me and this story. I really appreciate it!

“What are you doing?” Hermione asked, staring at the handsome boy next to her in confusion. In Ancient Runes, Blaise Zabini had suddenly appeared at her table and sat down next to her, not even asking if she was okay with it.

She mostly was, but still, she found his behaviour rather… unexpected. 

“Taking a seat. I thought that was pretty obvious, Granger,” he replied, smiling bemusedly. “Or would you rather have me sit somewhere else?” he asked innocently. 

Hermione smiled shyly. “No. It’s fine. I was just surprised, that is all.”

Zabini smiled, flashing his white, flawless teeth. “I could sit next to you in Arithmancy as well. If we worked together, we could do some of those calculations so much faster. Wouldn’t that be quite ‘novel’?”  he said teasingly since they were already usually the first to finish. 

Hermione swallowed, plastering a smile on her face. Charming, that was the word she would have used to describe him right now. Still, she could not help but feel unsettled, to be suddenly the focus of the boy’s attention. What did he even want with her?

  
  


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Ron had to admit that Thursday and Monday evenings, and therefore doing Prefect patrols with Malfoy, had not been as bad as he expected, as the Slytherin had actually behaved quite decently, and barely spoken a word. True, he would have preferred to spend the time with Lavender, but ever since the incidents with Hermione and their consequences, his girlfriend started to get a bit much for him. Other girls would have tried to distance themselves from him, as he currently seemed to be the castle's laughingstock, but Lavender was at his side almost constantly and the only reprieve he got were the patrols and after he had retreated to his dorm, as she would not follow him there. And even though he liked snogging or generally touching her, her girlish behaviour and her clinginess could be a bit much, even for him. 

“Did you find out who did that to you?” Malfoy suddenly asked, when they were halfway through their patrol and for a moment Ron wondered if he had been imagining things, but the blonde boy halted and looked at him questioningly. “It wasn’t me, in case you were wondering.”

Ron could not help but snort. “It didn’t think it was. I strongly suspect Fred and George, but so far they haven’t admitted it. Still, this looks like the kind of thing they would sell as a prank item in their shop, except I haven’t gotten anything from them for weeks. So  _ how _ ?”

Malfoy stared at him in disbelief. “You think a member of your  _ family _ would do that to you? Isn’t it the most important rule that a family is supposed to stick together?”

At that, Ron sighed. “Right now I am not very popular in my family. Dad told me I disgraced the Weasley name or something. I wonder if the twins got the same speech after they decided to leave school without sitting their NEWTs first.”

At first, Malfoy did not say anything to that. Instead, he just stared out of the window, fixing the dark surroundings of the castle. “What was it between Granger and you? Everyone assumed you and she would end up together. But now it’s like you hate each other or something. Why did you attack her?”

Ron shrugged. “She drove me up the wall, I guess. She tends to do that, in case you’ve missed it.”

Malfoy shook his head, before looking at him with an eye-roll. “If I attacked Crabbe and Goyle each time they’re being stupid, I’d have killed them by now. But even though they’re incredibly thick, they are loyal, Weasley. I can always rely on them, no matter what. Every man needs someone like that…”

Ron nodded and stepped next to the blonde boy. By now it was pitch black outside and apart from the lights coming from Hagrid’s hut, the full moon and the stars seemed the only light sources outside. “Is this your way of telling me that I’ve been an idiot?” Ron asked, his voice tired and devoid of anger. 

“No. I have no right to. We all have our reasons for being idiots. I was merely interested in what yours were,” Malfoy said before suddenly turning around and walking away. “And not all of us get the chance to undo our mistakes.”

What was that supposed to mean? It sounded like Malfoy had just made a confession or something, Ron mused, and stared at the boy. It did not take long before Malfoy turned around towards him, sending him an impatient look.

“You coming, Weasley? Don’t fancy doing all of the work on my own…” the boy grumbled and Ron hastily followed him.

“Sure,” he said and for the first time, he wished he could talk to Harry or Hermione about the strange things Malfoy had just said. Because somehow he got the impression that this was more than just about him and Hermione,  especially when he considered that Harry was totally convinced the boy was a Death Eater. 

  
  
  


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Hermione was in the middle of her Arithmancy calculation, when the nib of her quill broke with a crack. Her hand slipped and there was a big splash of ink on the line she had just been writing and Hermione looked at it with an unnerved sigh. That quill had been one of her favourites, she thought, shaking her head in disappointment. She was about to lean down to get a new one from her satchel, when she became aware of the brand new, beautiful quill laying in front of her on the table, the ink spot and her old quill having disappeared like they had never been there to begin with. 

Hermione looked at the new quill with furrowed brows, and blinked a few times before her eyes drifted to Blaise, who was again sitting next to her, like he usually did in Arithmancy and Ancient Runes these days. The boy looked at her with a wide grin and winked at her. For a moment she just stared at him, and she could feel her cheeks growing ever so slightly pink. 

‘Thank you,’ she mouthed silently before she hastily concentrated back on her work. From the corner of her eye she could see Blaise nod, before he concentrated back on his work too. Strange. Him giving her one of his quills wasn’t a big deal, but no one else had done that for her so far. And somehow that realization left her with a warm and fuzzy feeling in her belly. 

When the lesson finally ended, Blaise got up from his seat, while Hermione carefully packed her things away. She could see Blaise waiting for her and as she got up, she could see that he had picked up her bag from the floor and offered it to her with a smile and a twinkle in his dark eyes. 

“Thanks Zabini,” Hermione said, smiling shyly.

The boy grinned: “Call me Blaise. We’re friends now. Aren’t we, Hermione?”

For a moment she considered his words, but finally she nodded. “I guess we are.”

Blaise lips twitched. “You’re sounding surprised. Why? Because I’m a Slytherin?”

Hermione shook her head with a rueful smile. “No. I don’t care what house you’re in. It’s just that I’m usually not good at making friends.”

At that, Blaise smiled. “Maybe you just kept meeting the wrong people, Hermione?” He cast her a meaningful look. “People our age tend to be idiots, especially when they decide to let someone special like you go. I’m not such a person. I plan on staying with you for a very long while.”

Somehow Hermione thought he wasn’t just talking about friendship here, but she couldn’t be sure, of course. Blaise Zabini was a very popular boy, after all, and maybe he had just meant to keep her as a friend. Also, she wasn’t really interested in him, right? Her heart already belonged to someone else, even though that particular person did not make her believe he would return her feelings anytime soon. 

  
  


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“I saw you made a new friend,” Severus said, after they had been silently reading on his sofa for a while. Crookshanks had carefully positioned himself between the two of them, stretched out on his back in a position that allowed him to touch both of them while loudly purring in a way that made it clear he wanted them to pet him, the more the better. Hermione had subconsciously started to stroke his fur while she read, but now she halted and he could see her put the book she had been reading aside to look at him. 

“Blaise? Yeah, he has started to sit next to me in classes whenever the seat next to me is empty. First I was a bit sceptical about it, I must admit. But he has been very kind and helpful so far,” his friend replied, a little smile on her face. 

It took all of Severus’ willpower not to scowl at her, as every time he saw Zabini with her was like a stab into his chest. She may not be aware of it, but the boy was wooing her, and he had adapted his tactic perfectly to Hermione’s character. Like a predator the boy crept closer and closer, his prey unaware of what he was doing. But Severus knew. He had seen the same tactic with the boy’s mother - had experienced it himself when the Black Widow tried to snare him in. Not that she had been successful. But even for him, who had known what she was doing, it had been hard enough to resist.

“I imagine he was,” Severus said as neutrally as possible. “The boy has the most refined manners I have seen in a boy his age. Still, I urge you to be careful around him.”

Hermione looked at him with an alarmed look on her face. “Why? Do you think he’s behind those attacks? I did not think he was dangerous…”

He shook his head and sighed. “No, I don’t think he is. The Zabinis have always stayed neutral, even during the last wizarding war. They are true Slytherins, anxious to play their cards wisely so as to not antagonize the wrong party, or  _ any _ party.”

The girl looked at him in confusion, her forehead furrowed. “Why else would I need to be careful, then?”

Severus internally grit his teeth. He had no right to warn her off, just because he was jealous. But that wasn’t it. He was genuinely worried she’d get her heart broken again. That idiot Weasley had done enough damage already. “It is just a feeling, Hermione. I was a spy for a long time and usually my gut-feeling was right. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be his friend. Just… be careful, alright?”

Merlin, that had sounded awful and totally not like him, Severus realized, wincing internally. But what else was he supposed to say? That Blaise Zabini tended to bed one girl after another just to add her to his mental collection, and afterwards break up with her? The girl’s sexual activity was none of his business, after all…

Strangely, Hermione just smiled. “I promise. Thank you for looking out for me, Severus. You’re a true friend,” the girl said and gently took hold of his hand. Right now Severus did not feel like a good friend at all, more like the biggest imposter there was on earth. After all, he also secretly wanted more than just her friendship. So was he any better than fucking Blaise Zabini? He considered the thought for a moment before deciding that indeed, he was. He might be lusting after her, but in contrast to that unworthy boy, he did not just want to have Hermione  _ once _ . He wanted to keep her, to truly make her his. But his hands were tied in that respect right now. 

  
  


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“Hey Hermione, can we talk?” Harry said after Hermione had opened the door of her new chambers for him. After her classes for the day had finished, he had suddenly appeared there, knocking on her door. She stared at him in surprise.

“Of course. Come in,” she said, and stepped aside. Harry walked past her and after taking in the design of her room, he walked to the sofa standing in front of her fireplace. She followed him with a smile. “How are things with Ginny? And how’s Quidditch training going?” Hermione asked politely. 

Harry shrugged. “Good, I guess,” he mumbled but then he groaned and raked his black hair with his fingers. He was nervous, this much she could feel. “Arrrgh. I really don’t know how to say this, Hermione. I really don’t want to insult you or anything… but… you asked me to check the Marauder’s map -well, technically Professor Snape asked, but he couldn’t have if you hadn’t told him about it, right?”

Hermione nodded patiently, even though her heart was beating nervously in her chest. Had Harry found the intruder? Who was it? 

“You see…” her friend continued, his expression pained. “I’ve seen you on the map, you and Professor Snape. Why were you sleeping in his bed, Hermione?” the boy asked, his green eyes looking at her piercingly. 

Hermione’s eyes widened. Of course, she thought, the panic in her chest rising. Why hadn’t she considered that Harry would see and watch her on the map, too? It was only natural to want to protect his friend as well. But what was she supposed to say to that? She hastily considered her options. “I…” she started, but Harry was not finished.

“You know, Hermione, I just can't stop thinking about you asking me to use the map, thinking that maybe you  _ wanted _ me to find out. Do you need help? Is he forcing you or something?” Harry continued, and carefully took her hand. “I’m your friend, Hermione. I won’t tell a soul if you don’t want me to. But if there is something you want me to do,  _ anything _ , just…” he made a vague gesture with his hand, while staring at her with a helpless expression. Hermione sighed. Harry really was her friend, a true friend, seeking her out to offer his help. Because even though his suspicion could not have been farther from the truth, she had heard enough stories of girls that were used in such a sickening way. But not her. 

“It is not like that, Harry,” Hermione said softly and pressed his hand. “I cannot tell you much until you improve your Occlumency skills but… Something happened. I… got a message. Someone threatened me. I was scared, Harry, very scared. That’s why we asked you to check the map, to find out who it was. And that is why I asked Severus if I could stay with him. He would have been able to protect me, in case I was attacked or something.”

Harry nodded cautiously. “You asked him? Not the other way around?”

“No,” Hermione said with conviction. “Harry, Severus is not like that. Honestly, sometimes I wish he was,” she admitted, her cheeks colouring. 

It did not take Harry long to catch the meaning of her words. “You have a crush on him,” he said flatly. “Don’t you?”

Hermione nodded miserably. “I cannot help it. I know it’s inappropriate and I really don’t want to ruin this friendship but…” she sighed, before she hastily switched the topic. It wasn’t like she or Harry were overly comfortable talking about each other’s love life. “Anyway, now that we have the house-elves, I had to move back to this room. I was assured we were well protected now.”

Harry nodded resignedly. “Let’s hope so. I don’t fancy landing myself in the hospital wing,  _ again _ .” 

Hermione chuckled nervously. “So, how is your Occlumency coming along? Did you think about a scenario you could build for protection in your mind?”

Her friend smiled. “Something like that. I thought I’d go about building a Quidditch pitch. What if I hid my most important secrets in a snitch and the attacker would have to catch it first?”

Hermione smiled. It wasn’t a bad idea, especially as this was a place Harry associated with something good, which would calm him down in case he was attacked. “Why not?” she said, making herself more comfortable on the sofa. “You would have to build in some distractions though. Maybe place bait for the attacker. How would some bluffers, for example, fit into your mental defenses?”

For a moment Harry considered her words, before his eyes started to light up. And then he launched into an explanation.

  
  


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	56. Hidden thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys. So here come the chapters I have had difficulties to write. There are three of them until I finally felt better again. So if anything in this or the next chapters puts you off, I understand. I am not totally happy with this either, but I just could not do better. :-/
> 
> As always my thanks go to my two favourite girls, Justsare and StephanieMRV. 

It was the weekend and Hermione had decided to use the morning to work on her Ancient Runes homework in the library right after breakfast. It was the best time if one wanted to be undisturbed while working, as most of the students used the early hours of the weekend to laze around or play Quidditch. Most of the students went outside as the weather was indeed brilliant for a late autumn day, but Hermione wanted to get all that work out of the way, because she knew that otherwise, she would not be able to relax. 

“There you are,” a familiar voice greeted her after she had barely sat down at one of her favourite studying tables, close to the large windows. The sun was shining right through them at this time of the year, which was almost as good as working outside. “I guessed I’d find you in here.”

Hermione turned around and there he was, Blaise Zabini wearing an enticingly tight sweater and even tighter trousers. Merlin, was that how he walked around when he did not wear his school uniform?

“Blaise,” she greeted him with a small smile. “What are you doing here?”

The boy’s mouth twitched in amusement and just then Hermione became aware of the small pile of books, elegantly floating next to him. “What does it look like?” he said, grinned, and sat down across from her at the same table. “I’m getting my homework out of the way before I take you out for a walk. It would be a crime not to enjoy those last rays of sunshine before cold November hits us with rain, wind, and Merlin knows what else. So I suggest we make quick work of this and then take a stroll around the grounds. How does that sound?” 

Hermione smiled, unable to come up with a good enough reason to decline the boy’s offer. Because he was right. The weather would turn ugly soon enough and it had been many days since she had last been outside, other than to the greenhouses for Herbology. “It actually sounds like a good idea,” Hermione admitted with a smile. “And together we might finish the translations of those goblin scripts even faster.”

“I’m sure of it,” Blaise said before casually removing his sweater and putting it on the back of his chair. Below he wore a sinfully tight shirt. 

When he sat back down, he rested his head in his hands, before seeking out her eyes with his own. “So where do we start?”

  
  
  


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“Why are you being so nice to me?” Hermione asked when they had finally made their way out of the castle about two hours later. She had never been done with her homework that fast, which was mostly due to the fact that Blaise indeed did his part and had not whined about it once. Therefore they had been done with their translations in a matter of an hour, before going back to their respective rooms to store their homework and dress for a long walk outside. 

Hermione had gone for a warm comfortable knitted sweater, black jeans, and boots, which she would top off with her warm jacket in case it was needed. She would shrink it and store it in her bag, because nothing was worse than getting overly warm on a long walk. 

“I’m a nice guy,” Blaise replied, while walking next to her, his hands clasped behind his back. 

Hermione shook her head, rolling her eyes before she replied: “You know what I mean.”

For a moment the boy was silent, probably considering his answer. Finally, he said: “You did something nice for me first, Hermione. I am simply paying you back in kind. It is what we Slytherins do, didn’t you know?”

Hermione considered this. It made sense of course, but only to a certain extent. “So this is you paying a debt to me? What if you consider it done, one day?”

Blaise chuckled. “Then we’ll hopefully be friends at that point,  _ good friends _ . Which means I can be nice to you without you questioning my motives.”

Hermione nodded. “Maybe. Sorry, I did not mean to offend you or anything. It’s just…”

But the boy interrupted her, by stepping in front of her, so that she had to halt in her steps. “I get it, don’t worry, Hermione. But I told you, maybe you’ve just met the wrong guys until now. I’m not Weasley - I am not an idiot - which means that I can see what’s in front of my eyes.”

Hermione swallowed, her throat feeling suddenly tight. Why was he suddenly talking about Ron? Because in the end, she and Ron had been more than just friends. Didn’t he know? Of course, he knew. Whom was she kidding? “What’s that?” Hermione asked, her voice suddenly sounding breathless. 

But Blaise did not answer directly. Instead, he smiled while his hand reached for her face, carefully brushing a strand of her hair back behind her ear. “You should pull your hair back from your face.”

Hermione looked at him with wide eyes, the heart in her chest suddenly thumping like mad. “What? Why?”

Blaise chuckled. “So everyone can see the cute way your nose scrunches when you’re thinking hard,” he said with a grin before he turned around and continued walking towards the Black Lake. 

For a moment Hermione could not help but stare at him before her mind finally caught up and she hastily followed him through the grass. And even though the two of them did not discuss much more than school and their classmates throughout the walk, Hermione’s mind drifted back over and over to those words, unable to dismiss them.

  
  
  


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“Oi, Blaise! What do you think you’re doing with Granger, mate?” Severus heard one of the Slytherins shout through the dungeon corridor right after he walked down from having dinner, and for once Severus thought that young Mr Nott had asked a good question. Not that it wasn’t obvious what the arrogant prick had planned, but Severus wanted to hear it out of his mouth for once. Therefore he ducked into the next alcove after he was sure there was nobody walking behind him, and hastily disillusioned himself, before carefully walking closer. 

And there he saw them: Zabini, Nott, Parkinson and Bulstrode, standing in the middle of the corridor like this was the best place for such a chat. 

Severus did not have to get much closer, to see the smirk on Zabini’s face as he replied: “Apart from passing my time, it is too much fun riling Weasley up. She’s his ex, is she not?”

The other Slytherins murmured their agreements.

“Besides, have you seen how riled up the rest of her little friends get when I get near her? It’s hilarious. And the best part, they can’t do anything about it unless I do something to her first,” he said and grinned. “Which I do not intend to do.”

“You just plan to leave her hanging ?” Parkinson asked, her voice full of disbelief. “Well, according to Weasley, she isn’t a good snog anyway, let alone…” She chuckled, while Bulstrode and Nott simply snorted. 

“Maybe she just needs to be ridden in,” Bulstrode said in a tone that almost made Severus sick. Morgana, he hated teenagers, especially when they were as cruel as these. 

“Potter is desperate for me to mess up. You can practically see a storm cloud over his head whenever I’m near her,” Zabini said, simply ignoring the others' comments. The boy was a true Slytherin, Severus thought, giving answers while actually keeping his cards close to his chest. 

“That will only be the case until you break the girl’s heart,” Nott commented dryly. “As soon as you do it, no matter how far things between you went, he’ll come after you to get your head,” the boy warned, and Severus secretly agreed with him. 

“I’d like to see him try,” Blaise answered with a self-satisfied grin, before starting to walk towards his common room again. The others followed him closely and Severus watched them go, his anger boiling right below the surface. Potter would not have a chance to beat up the unworthy git, he thought while clenching and unclenching his fist. Whenever that dick decided to break Hermione’s heart, he’d be there first - and afterwards, obliviate the arrogant prick. He was a professor, after all, and therefore had a reputation to lose. 

  
  
  


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Using the spell to pull out one’s memories was one of the strangest experiences that Hermione had ever had in her life. Strand after strand of silvery liquid came out of her temple and deposited themselves into a beautiful box, which Albus Dumbledore had just given to her, while smiling at her kindly. Its inside was made of shiny nacre that made her memories glow mysteriously when she entered them and while they waited inside to be restored to her head. But that wouldn’t happen until after her lesson on Occlumency.

Hermione carefully removed everything she did not want the Headmaster to see. Especially her kiss with Severus and all the nights they had shared in bed had to go, but in the end she pulled out everything that could have given her affection for the man away. Afterwards she felt almost lightheaded and lighthearted, because even though she still knew she loved Severus, the fact that he did not return her feelings did not hurt as much as it had done before. 

“All right, I am done, Headmaster,” she finally said with a nervous smile. Albus Dumbledore had been patiently waiting for her the entire time, watching her from behind his massive desk. 

“Very good. I must say I am impressed by your control over the spell and your thoughts. Most wizards and witches do not manage to remove more than three memories, before they start feeling unwell or have the desire to immediately return them to their head. But you did remarkably well. Are you experiencing any unpleasant side-effects?” the man asked her, concerned. 

Hermione shook her head. “No, Sir. It’s actually quite pleasant to not have so many thoughts ghosting through my head, almost relaxing.”

At that, the Headmaster smiled. “Ah, I see. Well in that case, that little box will come in quite handy for you. Just do not forget to protect it accordingly in case you decide to store some of your memories there. You would not want them to be stolen from you, would you?”

She hastily shook her head. “No, Sir. That would be awful, Sir. I will ward that box to the best of my abilities,” she said, deciding to use the Headmaster’s gift only if she really had to. Because her memories would be safest in her head, for now. 

“Very good. Now let us start with our lesson. First, I will wander through your mind and inspect the defenses you have built there. Afterwards, we will discuss my findings, before I will teach you the  _ Legilimens _ spell, to enable you to peek into my mind. You might find it helpful to inspect another Occlumens’ work.”

Hermione nodded gratefully. Learning that spell would indeed be most helpful, not only to learn from the Headmaster. It would also make it much easier for her to teach Harry. And wasn’t that a nice bonus?

  
  


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Hermione looked tired, Severus thought, as he saw her stumble into his room through the fireplace. It wasn’t just the look in her eyes, or the fact that her hair looked totally out of order, she also held herself bent forwards and staggered towards his sofa without even saying hello.

Instead, she sunk down next to him with a loud sigh, before she rested her head on the backrest with closed eyes.

“He overdid it, didn’t he?” Severus observed darkly, taking in her features with attentive eyes.

Hermione shook her head. “It’s fine. I do need to learn as soon as possible, after all. It’s just… my head hurts…”

“Which is an indication that you should have stopped sooner,” he said matter-of-factly “Shall I get you a potion? A strong one will knock you out, but considering how tired you look, that maybe isn’t the worst thing.”

His friend shook her head. “I want to stay here a while longer. Today we barely saw each other and I don’t want to go back to my room just yet.”

Severus understood. He did not want her to go either, after all. “A mild one then? Or I could massage your temples, if that is what you would prefer.”

“Would you?” Hermione asked, looking at him hopefully. “I didn’t dare to ask.”

Severus felt like snorting. Of course he wanted to; he welcomed every opportunity to touch her, even in the most harmless ways. Yes, this was bordering on inappropriate again, but as long as he did it for her personal gain and not his, it was all right, he told himself. “I would not have offered it otherwise. Turn to the side then and lean against my chest. This should be the most comfortable position for both of us.”

Hermione smiled and followed his instruction without hesitation. It was only moments until her back and head rested against him, the smell of her hair alluring his senses. Severus needed a moment to just take her in, enjoy the softness of her hair that was tickling the sensitive skin on his throat. Then he carefully moved his hands to her head, resting his fingers against her temples. 

She probably had no idea in what a vulnerable situation she now was. Physical touch, especially to the temples, was like an open door to an Occlumens. Things got even easier if the victim was in a relaxed mental state. But Hermione was no victim, she was his friend and she trusted him. He would never betray that trust, no matter how tempting it was to find out what she was not telling him. But no. Not like this; not against her will - never that.

He gently started to move his fingers against her temples, drawing small, slow circles. 

Hermione moaned. “Gods, that feels amazing,” she exclaimed, her voice almost a purr. 

Severus looked at her in astonishment. Merlin, he had barely started. Still, if she kept making those sounds while he touched her, it would be nearly impossible that his body would not betray him. Fuck. But he could not change his mind now and simply stop, could he?

“Good. I am glad you are enjoying yourself,” he said as calmly as possible, before continuing his little massage. Her skin was so clear and soft and she smelled like peaches again, he registered, just as he tried to focus his thoughts on something else - something that would take up his whole attention and distract him from those delicious sounds the girl in his arms was making. Maybe he should invite Slughorn for a  _ friendly research session _ and trick him into handing over those memories, he thought, but it was only a moment until there was  _ another sound _ from the girl while she was shifting against his chest ever so slowly. Seven hells, this would not do, as his traitorous cock was already starting to stirr. It wouldn’t be long until she noticed. There was nothing for it, he would have to use his Occlumency skills to protect himself. They had helped him withstand torture from Lord Voldemort himself, let him watch humans getting tortured to death and insanity by Bellatrix and her mad husband. Occlumency would also help him here, even though he had sworn to himself that he would not use it in Hermione’s presence again. But only once his mind was locked away behind layers of mental protections could he watch her moan in his arms, her body more and more relaxing against him, without pulling her closer and giving her a real reason to make those sounds. Luckily Severus Snape was no randy teenager, without an ounce of self-control, and therefore Hermione would never know that he had almost pulled her against him and snogged the breath out of her, before carrying her into his bed. Because Merlin, that’s what he desperately wanted to do.

  
  
  


ssssssss


	57. The mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys. Here is your next chapter. Life has gotten pretty crazy for me again, as Corona has hit Germany pretty hard. This could mean that there are only 1 or 2 new chapters per week for you… but we’ll see. I hope you are all well and healthy. So far so good for me. 
> 
> Thank you to my two favourite girls StephanieMRV and Justsare for helping me. I’m so grateful to have them. 

It had not taken Hermione long to fall asleep on him after he had started massaging her temples, and loath to wake her again, he had simply remained seated on the sofa, holding her while she slept. Now in her sleep, she looked peaceful and relaxed and Severus could finally release his Occlumency shields again and allow all those emotions that he had kept hidden from her. 

Gods, he wanted her so badly, like he had not wanted anybody in his life, not even Lily. It could only mean one thing, Severus realized - he loved her - with an intensity that stole his breath and wanted him to tear out his heart because no matter how much he wanted her, he could not have her. Hermione was his student, his very innocent friend, and he could not and would not take advantage of her or scare her with all those feelings that would surely overwhelm her if she was aware of them. But that could only mean that heartbreak would inevitably follow, and Severus was not sure if he could take it again - if he could live through years of being just her friend, seeing her date other boys like Zabini, that lecherous scoundrel. 

  
  


The next week dragged on painfully even though Severus was as busy as during his time as a Death Eater spy and Head of Slytherin. He did not miss either task, but stalking Slughorn and coming up with a plan to get Slughorn's memory was surprisingly difficult. The man was as slippery as an eel, winding himself out of every conversation Severus tried to have with him. It was like the man could feel Severus was having harmful thoughts when talking to him, like he was aware Severus wanted to lure him into a trap, and probably he was. Horace Slughorn was a true Slytherin, after all, and he had not escaped the Death Eaters without reason. It was obvious that the man had a talent for making a quick escape, but it was most annoying. He had to do something. He could feel Albus’ impatience even though the man never said a word about him failing to deliver the requested information. But it was only a matter of time until he would, and even though Severus regularly despised the Headmaster and his machinations, he also knew that the man was their ticket to winning the war and finally being free of Voldemort. Albus Dumbledore was a powerful wizard and they would need him to bring the other wizard down, no matter what the prophecy said. 

But that wasn’t the only thing keeping him busy and robbing his sleep. The fact that he had so effortlessly been able to access Hermione’s magical core terrified him, and in order to prevent accidentally draining her again, he had started reading as much as he could, in the hope of finding something - anything - that would help him control this. But there literally wasn’t a word on the subject of shared magical cores or linked ones, which made it even more mysterious how Albus had been able to guess what had happened or even prompt him to do it. It could, of course, have been a coincidence, but somehow Severus doubted it. In combination with Albus fucking Dumbledore, things rarely were, which meant that Severus kept searching on, no matter how many hours he spent in the library or rereading the books on Kindred Magic in the Room of Requirement. 

Hermione kept visiting him in the evenings after she was finished with her homework. During the day he rarely saw her alone anymore, as Potter and his redheaded girlfriend kept her company during mealtimes, while Zabini was often found sitting in the library with her or walking her to her classes. Rumours about them spread like wildfire, even at the teachers’ table, but it was no wonder with how the boy kept looking at Hermione whenever she wasn’t aware of it. Interestingly, not many of his colleagues seemed to disapprove of the budding romance between the Slytherin and the Gryffindor, apart from himself, Albus, and strangely enough, Sybil (who was convinced it was the girl’s fate to end up being an old spinster, only loved by her twenty cats). 

Severus watched it all somewhat detachedly, but he could also feel his mood getting darker day by day. 

“What lies has that woman come up with now?” Minerva suddenly asked him in a clipped tone, her eyes staring piercingly at the newspaper in front of her on the table. Now he’d been pulled out of his thoughts, Severus could also see several students in the Great Hall murmuring agitatedly, some of them staring at their own copies of the Daily Prophet. Gods, he hated that scribbling paper. It did not take Severus long to detect the article Minerva had been referring to: 

**_You-Know-Who already inside Hogwarts? Are our children still safe?_ **

With a tired sigh, Severus opened his own copy of the newspaper, which had so far been waiting totally untouched in front of him. It looked like Rita Skeeter had spun her yarn again, he thought and started to read.

_ Ever since You-Know-Who’s most shocking and terrifying appearance at the Ministry of Magic a few months ago, the wizarding world has been in a state of trepidation. Most of us had hoped that at least our innocent children would be safe inside of Hogwarts, as it had been repeatedly promised that the Scottish wizarding school would be among the safest places inside wizarding Britain. But now this formidable and gorgeous reporter has discovered the appalling truth that hides behind those supposedly impervious walls.  _

_ Strange things have been going on right under Dumbledore’s nose. Not once but  _ **_twice_ ** _ during the last few weeks, the famous Harry Potter, Chosen One and winner of the Triwizard Tournament, has been seriously injured and been in need of medical attention. And he has not been the only student getting injured this term, because not only has there been an unreported attack in Hogsmeade, but also strange accidents have been happening right in the middle of classes. No word has managed to escape those thick walls - until now. My brave source, who wishes to stay anonymous for their own safety, found a way to get this horrifying information to me so that I may bring you the truth, my faithful readers.  _

_ You ask yourself why you have not been informed about this any sooner? Rest assured, my lovely readers: you are not the only ones asking that question. Because it is quite obvious that something is going on right under Dumbledore’s hooked nose, but apart from hiding the truth from all of us, he doesn’t seem to be doing anything about it. Is it possible that He Who Must Not Be Named, or at least one of his minions, is already inside the castle, threatening the lives of those dearest to us? With everything that has been going on, one can not help but feel reminded of the nightmare that has been the Triwizard Tournament, the escaped convict terrorizing the school the year prior, or the incident with the Heir of Slytherin before that. But do not fear, my dear readers. Your charming, fearless and determined journalist Rita Skeeter will uncover the truth for you and I will present it to you unadorned and uncut. Because this is what we all deserve: the truth and nothing else! _

Well, this would get ugly, Severus thought while re-reading the article for a second time. Because no matter what nonsense the annoying woman tended to spout, this time she was right. Those incidents did hint towards the fact that an enemy was right in their midst, but apart from Albus asking him to work on Horace, nothing had happened so far. Why the Headmaster had not felt inclined to include the ministry was beyond him, because no matter how understaffed the Auror office was, they still needed to know there  _ was _ a threat, to be able to react accordingly. But that was the problem with having an over-manipulative leader: Albus Dumbledore preferred to keep information close to his chest out of paranoia or the fear of giving away an important advantage. Except the man sometimes seemed to forget that real lives were at stake here, and that other people would move hell and earth to protect those dear to them.

Severus sighed. It would probably only be a matter of hours, until the school governors came knocking on their door, and even though Lucius Malfoy would not be among them, Severus would have to be very careful. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst idea to ask Potter to regularly check his map tonight, because everyone passing the castle’s wards could be an enemy in disguise.

And then there was Rita Skeeter, the woman who always found some scraps of information, and he was sure that more than one student would be willing to talk to her. And he did not want to know what kind of yarn Rita Skeeter would spin out of the nonsense Parkinson, Brown, and Weasley spouted. It could only end in utter chaos. 

  
  


Sssssss

  
  


This was insanity, Albus thought, staring at those annoying people in front of him, schooling his face into an expression of superiority. Those idiots knew nothing of the hardship lying in front of them and they knew even less of the danger they were all in. Yes, there was most likely an imposter in the castle, but did it really help to make noise right now and alert them? They would not find whoever it was like that; they had to be cleverer. Because the intruder could be anywhere, anywho, actually, and now that they were warned, things would only get even  _ more _ dangerous. 

He needed to maneuver those useless, nosy wizards out of the castle and soon. Then he needed to start setting things into motion, because they had twiddled their thumbs long enough. It was time for him to mobilize all resources and smoke out all corners of the castle. And Albus knew already who’d help him with that most eagerly.

  
  


Sssssss

  
  


“Sit down, Miss Granger,” Professor Dumbledore said, and Hermione followed his invitation with a nervous smile. It was time for her weekly Occlumency lesson again and even though last week’s training had gone well, she could not help but feel nervous at the thought of having the old man in her head again. Professor Dumbledore had been most careful last week, but having him there felt wrong nevertheless and her mind had tried ridding itself of his presence with growing determination. Hermione did not think it would have been the same if Severus had taken his place. She could almost see herself welcoming him in her mind, their minds joined and relishing in each other’s presence. Except her friend would learn her dirty little secret then, and she did not feel ready for the rejection that would without doubt follow. She had tried telling him how she felt over and over again, but each time she hinted at her feelings Severus simply ignored it, or at least he did not comment. This made her pretty sure that revealing that bit of information to him was not the wisest choice, to put it mildly. 

“Before we begin with today’s lesson, I do have a small favour to ask of you,” Professor Dumbledore said, looking at her seriously. 

Hermione looked at him in surprise. “A favour, Sir? What can I do for you?” She asked, knowing how much she owed the man already. Not only had he relocated her parents to another - safer - country, he was also giving her extra lessons in Occlumency and duelling. Severus had hinted that Professor Dumbledore barely did anything without a reason, so maybe she was finally about to learn what all of this was about. 

“I am sure you are aware of the difficult situation we are currently in,” the Headmaster said, pushing up his glasses on his long nose. “I am convinced there is an imposter among us, one that is out for yours and Harry’s blood.”

Hermione nodded, looking at the man expectantly while chewing on her bottom lip. But she did not interrupt him.

“I need to be honest with you, Miss Granger. It could be any one of us, which makes it difficult for me to trust anyone - anyone but you, that is. I have seen your mind, my girl, and from that, I know that you are pure and trustworthy. But with  _ anyone else _ we need to be careful,” Albus Dumbledore warned, his blue eyes staring at her piercingly. 

Hermione blinked, her mind trying to catch up with what he was saying. What about Severus? Or Harry? She  _ did _ trust them and she was pretty sure she could. So what was all of this about? “I do not understand, Sir,” she said, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. 

Professor Dumbledore nodded understandingly, his lips forming a kind smile. “But I think you do,” he said, pushing a bowl of lemon drops towards her. Out of reflex she took one and popped it into her mouth. “We have to choose our friends wisely,” he said and reached for the bowl himself. That was when Hermione felt something was wrong, terribly wrong. Her mouth burned like acid and while she hastily spit out the damned candy, she could already feel her senses clouding and her ears starting to ring. Her eyes widened in panic, her hands gripping for her throat as she already keeled over, unable to speak - or to breathe. She’d been poisoned, she realized, just as she was aware of Dumbledore dashing towards her, faster than his age would make one believe. She did not see him reaching her though, because a moment later she blacked out, the tortuous burning in her veins the last thing she was aware of. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus felt the first wave of pain hit him, right before Fiercely, Hermione’s house-elf, appeared in front of him, the unconscious but spasming girl in tow. It took all his willpower not to panic, as his own body and the pain he was experiencing made it quite clear what had happened, even without seeing the foam pouring out of her mouth, or the blood oozing out of the girl’s nose. Mother of Merlin. 

He reacted out of reflex, his hand going to his breast pocket and pulling out the little phial he always carried around with him. It was filled with his own creation, a special, highly effective anti-venom that he had harvested from Bezoars and other expensive but highly effective potion ingredients. He had kept it for the worst case, the day his cover would be blown or the moment his services would not be enough, for either of his masters. He had never expected that when he finally did use it, it would be on a student - even a precious student - and not on himself. 

But now that the dark blue liquid ran down Hermione’s throat, dissipating there without her actually having to swallow it, he had never been so happy to be a paranoid bastard, because if there was a chance for Hermione to survive, it was now - with him. He would need to make another vial as soon as possible; if he needed it once, he may need it again.

“What happened?” he finally asked, his voice flat, as he held the unconscious girl in his lap. The house-elf was still there, staring at them with wide, terrified eyes, wringing his small but strong hands.

“Miss was with the Headmaster. She ate one of his sweets,” Fiercely explained, his voice quivering ever so slightly. Severus knew the creature felt guilt over his mistress' injury, even though he could hardly have protected her from that. Fucking Albus Dumbledore…

“Fiercely took her right to Professor Snape, because that was what Mistress instructed him to do.”

Severus nodded, secretly glad for Hermione’s trust in him and his abilities. “You did well,” he praised, looking at the elf with a nod. “Now go back to the Headmaster’s office, and bring me those sweets. Be careful not to touch them. Return to me  _ immediately _ . Afterwards, you are guarding these rooms, you and Miss Granger’s other elf.  _ No one _ is permitted to enter. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Professor Snape, Sir,” the male elf said and left immediately, leaving Severus with the girl in his arms. She would be fine, he told himself, checking her pulse nonetheless. His anti-venom and their physical touch would help her, but he must not think about what could have happened if they had not had the elves. After ingesting that evil potion, Hermione had had seconds until she would have been beyond saving - seconds that could have taken her from him, forever. And she would never have even known how he felt about her. But he must not think about this now, must not think about her when there was something important for him to do. The attacker had made a terrible mistake in attacking someone he loved. Hermione was  _ his _ and he was hers, even if she was not aware. They were two sides of the same coin and by attacking her that bastard had also attacked  _ him _ , in a way. That had been a mistake, that bastard's last mistake, Severus swore, while he pressed his forehead against hers upside down. 

“No one’s gonna hurt you again,” he swore, his fingers cradling her curls while his thumbs brushed along her cheeks. “You are mine and I am yours, forever,” he whispered, knowing that the girl could not hear him now. But he had to say it to her, at least once, before he went after the bastard that had dared to threaten what was most dear to him. And he would not rest until he had him, and Hermione would finally be safe again.  __

  
  


ssssssss


	58. The darkness within

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After that cliffy I hurried to finish the next chapter for you. I hope you like it! If you do, please let me know. I love reading your comments, even though I rarely have time to answer them these days.
> 
> I’m currently writing chapter 63. Luckily writing has gotten easier again, probably because I feel like I’m finally getting somewhere. You have some pretty good stuff to look forward to. ;-)
> 
> This chapter was betaed by Justsare. Thank you so much, my friend!

The man did not see him coming. He only became aware of his presence as his body was standing paralyzed in front of him, the grey eyes wide with terror. Severus did not care; he was beyond caring. He wanted answers and he would get them, with or without the man’s cooperation. 

“Now Horace,” Severus said, his voice silky but dangerous. “Here is how this is going to go. Either you agree to taking this phial of Veritaserum and answering some questions for me, or I am going to search your overgrown, self-serving mind with Legilimency, to get some answers out of you. Which is it going to be?”

The man could not answer of course, as his body was completely paralyzed. But Severus did not want his answer, as he had made up his mind some time ago. He would not show any mercy with the old fool, not after Hermione had gotten hurt - only a handful of people would have been able to brew the poison she had ingested only an hour ago. And apart from him and the old fool in front of him, none of them were currently at the castle, which could only mean one thing: Old Horace here had at least brewed the poison, if not poisoned Albus’ sweets himself. 

“What did you say?” Severus said, his voice sharp as his best-kept potion knife. “Sorry Horace, I could not hear you.” He coldly stared at the trapped man in front of him for a few seconds, until he shrugged with feigned indifference. “Well, Legilimency it is, then. Try not to resist too much, as it is only going to hurt you more. There is no use in resisting me anyway, old man. I am getting my answers - one way or the other.”

A moment later he was in the man’s mind, as Horace was barely resisting him. A moment later he knew why. Horace Slughorn’s mind was in total disorder, the man’s personality suppressed or cornered in the very back of it, while another person pulled the man’s strings. Fuck, the man had been Imperiused, and what was left of him was desperately crying out for help.

With a growl, Severus retreated from the man’s mind, before he called for his elf, to take them to the Headmaster. Even though he did not like the meddling old fool, Albus Dumbledore would have to be informed. Because to undo an Imperius as strong as that one, he would definitely need the man’s approval, if not his magical support. Because no matter how much he despised the old potions master right now, the man did not deserve to have his mind broken and his sanity wiped away, which could happen if things were not done right. They needed answers, though, as much as they needed every man willing to fight on their side of the war. Severus did not need Albus’ crafted words to realize that. 

  
  


Ssssssss 

  
  


“You are aware that this attack was supposed to kill  _ me _ ,” Albus said, his eyes staring piercingly at Slughorn, who had sunken into the armchair the Headmaster had provided for him. He was sweating and shaking like a leaf, but Severus had no mercy for the useless idiot. The man had almost killed his mate - his heart - when he had blown all care into the wind and gone  _ wine shopping _ instead of patrolling Hogsmeade like he was supposed to be doing and promptly gotten himself Imperiused. Moron! 

“I know,” Severus said, and his voice had not lost its dangerous touch. “You were lucky Miss Granger accepted your little treat this time. The girl instructed her house-elves wisely.”

Albus nodded, smiling mysteriously. “But you know that the poison would not have killed me either, Severus. Fawkes would not have let it happen.” The old man’s eyes darted to the majestic bird, sitting on its perch behind him. He blinked slowly when his second master’s eyes fell on him and once more Severus asked himself how Albus had managed to win the loyalty of such an amazing creature. 

Severus nodded. “Horace fought the Imperius with everything he had. He had the order to kill you, or Harry, and still, both of you are alive. Even after the Imperius was fresh on him, he botched up the Killing Curse on Potter, because he resisted with everything he had. Weaker minds than his, would have just surrendered and killed the boy.”

The Headmaster seemed to agree with his assessment of the situation. 

Severus sighed. Slughorn had done well under the given circumstances. Resisting the Imperius was hard if not impossible, if the spell was cast by a powerful enough wizard. “But you have seen his mind, Albus. Those objects left on Miss Granger’s bed… that wasn’t him. I’m afraid this whole thing isn’t over, not yet. We cannot afford to let our guard down,” he finished, his voice devoid of emotion.

“And we will not,” Albus replied seriously. “Not until Tom has been dealt with.”

He sighed. There was no saying how long this would take. Taking Lord Voldemort down could take years, decades -  _ if  _ they would even manage it. Until then their lives would be in permanent danger -  _ Hermione’s _ life would be in danger. He would do everything to protect her of course, but would that ever be enough? And what if the girl wanted to be free of him, one day? 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Hermione awoke to the soothing chirping of birds, realizing that she was in Severus’ bed, alone. The man was nowhere to be seen, but he must have been there and helped her, because she most certainly was not dead, even though she had been pretty sure she wouldn’t make it this time. 

“Mistress is awake,” Pretty squeaked after appearing right next to her bed. The little female elf must have watched over her then - like she had instructed her to do. “Pretty was  _ so _ worried.”

Hermione smiled at her weakly. “I think I am alright. You did well, you saved me. Thank you,” she croaked out hoarsely. This time it had been a close call, she realized, and even though the danger had seemingly passed, she could suddenly feel the panic hit her. No matter what they did or which preparations they made, their enemy seemed to always be a step ahead.

“Where’s Professor Snape?” she found herself asking, thinking that there must be a reason why he was not at her side. She was right.

Pretty wrung her little hands. “The Professor was first in his lab, analysing the sweets the mistress ate. He must have found something, because he stormed away about an hour ago, instructing Pretty and Fiercely to not leave mistress’ side and guard his quarters. That is all Pretty knows, though. Pretty is sorry.”

“It is all right,” Hermione soothed her elf. “You did very well and followed your instructions to the letter. There is nothing more I could ask of you. Well… a cup of tea would be nice. I feel like something died in my mouth. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to have some, though. But maybe a glass of water?” 

Pretty nodded happily and popped away a moment later. She was back in no time, a glass of water in her hands. Hermione drank it eagerly, before sinking back into her sheets. They smelled like Severus, she realized with a content smile. There was no saying when her friend would be back, but it looked like he had found out something important. Still, she hoped he would be back soon, because not only did she miss him, but she could feel their bond demanding his presence. 

Hermione sighed. She was sure he could feel it as well and would back at her side as soon as he could. Until then she could just lie here and wait. Luckily she had a bright, enthusiastic house-elf to keep her company. Pretty told the most fascinating stories, when she was asked to. And then there was also Crookshanks, who had settled himself on the mattress, right at her side. It was nice to have him there, cuddling with her. He wasn’t Severus, of course, but she had to work with what she had. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


When Severus entered his bedroom after leaving Horace with the Headmaster, Hermione was awake, chatting with her house-elf about some obscure house-elf custom, that involved decorating a human toothbrush with some sort of elf-lights and a considerable amount of dancing and singing. To Severus it sounded like the little female was describing another form of Thanksgiving, except that the elves were thankful for all the jobs and tasks they received over the year. But he could not be sure, of course.

At first Hermione did not even notice him entering the room, as she was too absorbed by Pretty’s words. But the elf knew, of course, and as he stepped closer she halted her explanations to greet him.

“Professor Snape, Sir. You are back! Mistress has been worried about you,” the elf said and behind her he could see Hermione blushing. 

Severus nodded. “I can see why that is,” he replied, smiling towards the both of them, before stepping next to Hermione’s bed. “How are you feeling, Hermione?”

The girl considered his question. “I am not in any sort of physical pain or discomfort. I can’t help feeling scared though. It is like whoever did this is always a step ahead of us and that’s…”

“Terrifying? Indeed,” he answered, registering that the little elf just silently disappeared to give the two of them some privacy. “Even though I do have some good news. The Headmaster and I have discovered that Professor Slughorn was under the Imperius Curse. It took me and the Headmaster some time to break it and interrogate him, but it looks like he was behind the attack on Potter, the incident with the potions book and the poisoning of the Headmaster’s sweets.”

His friend nodded carefully. “But he is all right now? Is he… has his mind been harmed?”

Severus sighed. “He was not under the curse long enough for that. Still, he will not be fit to teach for a while. I’ll have to take over his responsibilities as Head of House for the time being, as well as take over potions classes from him. The Headmaster will continue to teach DADA for me, until Professor Slughorn is recovered,”  _ and thoroughly checked for further dark influence _ , he thought. They would not take a risk with him again. And then there would be the matter of his punishment, Severus mused. He wished he would be allowed to participate in the decision process for that, but Albus said he would take those matters into his own hands, which meant there was nothing he could do. He just hoped that Albus would drive the message home to that idiot. 

“I am glad he is all right. But you being Head of House again means you will have less time in the evenings, am I right?” Hermione asked, her eyes reflecting uneasiness. 

Severus nodded carefully. “I will make time for you, Hermione, not only because the bond demands it. I want to keep spending my time with you and I do not just mean by sitting at your sickbed.”

Hermione smiled shyly. “I’d like that too. Now that we’re finally about to finish that microscope.”

“Exactly,” Severus replied, even though there were lots of other things he’d like to do with her as well - things he could not do, yet, or maybe ever. He would take what was offered to him, and if that was reading and researching with a bright witch instead of spending his evenings alone, then he already considered himself lucky. “Now how about we eat something together? You must be starving as that potion completely emptied your system of any nutrition. It was necessary to purge your body.”

“I am not sure if I am fit enough to get up yet,” the little witch admitted shyly. 

Severus shrugged. “Then we will eat in bed. I am sure the house-elves will not mind cleaning it afterwards.” 

For some reason Hermione looked at him strangely at these words. “I am sure they will not. Wait, I’ll make some room for you.” 

The girl carefully moved aside and Severus climbed onto the bed at her left side. As if on command, two dinner trays appeared in front of them, filled with a selection of light and heavier dishes for them to choose from. 

Severus snorted. “Those house-elves really adore you, Hermione.”

The girl looked at him with a happy smile. “And I adore them. I’m glad to have them in my life - and you. I’m glad to have you as well,” she added, her hand gently taking his and squeezing it. 

For a moment their eyes met and he could see the affection for him shining there as clearly as the sun. His heart leapt in his chest. Could it be that she liked him as well - and he did not mean just as a friend. Was it possible? 

“The feeling is mutual,” he admitted carefully, while gently holding her hand, his index finger stroking her palm ever so slightly. She did not pull away or show any sign of discomfort at his action. That of course wasn’t saying much, but it gave him reason to hope - hope that they could one day be more than just friends. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Halloween and then November came and went without any further incidents and for the first time in this school year Hermione felt like some sort of normality was established in her life. With Severus teaching potions again things felt almost normal again, or they would have, if Ron had stopped being a prat or Blaise Zabini wasn’t behaving so… strangely towards her. By now the Slytherin boy was spending a considerable amount of time with her every day, as he was usually coming to find her in the library after classes. Before Blaise had suddenly decided to befriend her, she used to study in the Gryffindor common room more frequently, but as she did not fancy watching Ron burying his tongue inside a giggling Lavender, or Harry doing the same with Ginny, she had started to spend her afternoons here and the evenings, after dinner, with Severus. It was comfortable but also a strange situation, considering that she suddenly had people around her that seemed to share her interests and really conversed with her. It made her realize what she had missed the last few years, and even though she still loved Harry like a brother, she had to admit that they did not really have much in common. 

“Well Pumpkin, this Blaise does sound like a nice chap,” her father said, looking at her through the two-way mirror with an awkward smile. “Definitely much better than that Weasley boy. You will have to tell us more about him, when you come visiting us for Christmas.” 

Until that moment it had been a casual conversation between her and her parents. But now Hermione suddenly did not know what to say. She nervously cleared her throat. “Well, I will need to ask the Headmaster first if I can come and visit you. After all, I will need his help to get a portkey to visit you.”

Her father shrugged. “If he gives you any problems, let us talk with him. With these mirrors it should be easy enough. I will not accept a no from him, Pumpkin, not after having you only for part of the summer break.”

Hermione sighed. “I will speak to him, dad,” she promised, her stomach dropping. She wasn’t actually worried about the Headmaster, but about Severus. Was it even possible to be physically separated from him for such a long period of time? Probably not, which would mean she would have to bring him along. Only she did not think he, or her parents, would like the idea of spending the Christmas break together. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“What is wrong, Hermione?” Severus asked his friend after he had been watching her for over an hour, seemingly in a strange mood. Usually she sat unmoving on his sofa or in his armchair, reading whatever she found interesting from his bookshelf, but today she had been permanently fidgeting and from the speed with which she turned the pages he could tell she was not reading either. It was all very strange. 

For a moment he could see her stiffen in his armchair, but then she put away his book with a sigh, saying: “My parents invited me over for Christmas this year. They really want me to come but… I am not sure if I can.”

Severus nodded, suddenly understanding her dilemma. “I can see why that is,” he said carefully. “I do not see the Headmaster giving you any trouble about it. But it might be difficult to explain to your parents, why you’re dragging your old Potions Professor along.”

“You would really accompany me?” she asked then cringed as her voice sounded higher than it was used to. “You would be willing to celebrate Christmas with me and my parents?” 

He would be willing to do so much more than that, Severus thought grimly. If and when the girl accepted him as more than a friend, he would willingly spend every Christmas with her and her family, as well as every other fucking holiday. But he could not tell her that. Instead he said: “I would, if it makes you happy.”

She broke out into a wide smile and a moment later she dashed towards him, pulling him into a tight hug. “It would,” she mumbled into his chest, her eyes looking up at him. “I’d love to have you there, with me,” she said with an honest smile, that made his heart beat a little faster. There it was again, the thought that she may return his feelings, or at least would one day. 

He stared back at her searchingly. “But I will come as myself, not as a raven, Hermione,” he told her. He did not want to hide as a bird. He wanted to spend Christmas with her as a man.

She nodded. “Of course. We will find some sort of explanation for my parents, after the Headmaster agrees to let us visit them.”

Severus smiled. “Leave the Headmaster to me,” he said, knowing that Dumbledore would probably jump at any chance to meddle. “I will convince him to let us go. In the meantime you can break the news to your elves, because you will have to take them along as well.”

At that, the girl’s arms around him tightened. “I will talk to them right away,” she promised cheerfully, and Severus smiled. For the first time in many years he was actually looking forward to the Christmas season. 

  
  
  
  



	59. Well meant is not well done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again. This is the last one of the chapters I don’t really like. Afterwards, things will get more exciting. I hope you’re hanging in there. And I hope you’re doing Okay in those crazy times… 
> 
> As always I am grateful for my two fellow accomplices, StephanieMRV and Justsare.

Horace Slughorn considered himself a very intelligent man and so far he had navigated his stance in life pretty well, he thought. Coming from a proud pureblood family he had learned the importance of good connections pretty early in his life, as it had been drilled into him as soon as he started to talk. Unlike his sister, who was of no political and social significance these days, Horace had taken to his father’s lessons like a fish to water and therefore he had inconspicuously pulled the strings in politics and economy alike, even though he had chosen to start a career as a Hogwarts Professor. It was a good chance to introduce himself to young people, who were still easy enough to impress and to influence. A little favour here, a little recognition there, and they loved and looked up to him, especially the Muggleborns who were easy enough to impress. And things with Harry Potter and the Granger girl had gone so well until he had been cursed and forced to attack them. Considering that both of them would, without doubt, be influential people one day, this was a total nightmare. As if handing over that humiliating memory to Albus and  _ Severus Snape, of all people, _ had not been punishment enough. Even though they had not spoken a word of criticism in front of him, he could see the horror and disappointment in their eyes and Horace knew that to them, he would never be without flaw again.

Ever since he had gone back to teaching potions he could feel Mr Potter’s and Miss Granger’s hesitation to speak to him let alone be in the same classroom. Apart from that, the humiliation of not being allowed to work for almost two weeks was enough to have his Slytherins questioning his capability of being their Head of House - because apart from the fact that he was indisposed, the students had not been told anything about what happened to him, which was both a blessing and a curse. But Potter and Granger knew; as his  _ victims _ , they had been told but were sworn to secrecy, and even though they had not spoken to anybody about it as far as he could tell, they also did not seem to trust him any longer. That was totally unacceptable. 

Luckily the Christmas season was coming and therefore he had a good enough occasion to throw another of his famous Christmas parties, which would hopefully provide him with a good enough chance to help both of them out and therefore gain their favour again. Inviting some influential people to his party would surely not hurt. Potter might enjoy talking to Henry Abendale, Britain's former star seeker who had retired from Quidditch only a few years ago. The Granger girl on the other hand was a difficult one. Going by what he had heard, she had many talents which made her annoyingly hard to impress. Apart from that, she was well-liked by all of his colleagues, even by Severus, the grumpy, overly critical grouch. The girl’s ambitions were hard to guess and apart from the rumours questioning why she had given up her position as a Prefect, and the gossip about her break-up with the Weasley boy, he had nothing he could work with, which was more than a little annoying. But he would make do with what he had and start planning and hopefully, at the end of the school year, Miss Granger and Mr Potter would be back in his fold. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“I don’t really fancy going to that Christmas party,” Hermione admitted to Harry while gloomily staring into the flames of the common room’s fireplace. Harry and Ginny had taken up one of the sofas in the corner, while Hermine had chosen an armchair across from them, hoping that they would have the chance to casually spend some time together. And they had until they had received those blasted invitations from Professor Slughorn. “Those meetings are hard enough to tolerate as it is…” she said “but after… you know…”

Harry and Ginny nodded understandingly. “Yeah,” Harry said with a shake of his head. “But we still should go, shouldn’t we?”

Hermione shrugged. “Probably. I assume the two of you will be going together?” 

Harry grinned, while Ginny, who was cuddled into his side, giggled. “Well, technically Harry still hasn’t asked me,” she answered with the grin. “So if you’re still looking for someone, Hermione…”

She was actually, but she could also tell that Ginny was joking. “I thought I could actually ask Blaise,” she said instead, knowing that the Slytherin would possibly agree to it. But being with Blaise also felt… dangerous in a way she could not pin down. Still, he was her friend and it was only logical to ask him, as they were spending lots of their free time together anyway. 

“Why don’t you ask Neville instead?” Harry suggested, with a tone that told her he wasn’t happy with her idea. 

Hermione sighed. “Because he’s a Gryffindor? Don’t tell me you’re buying into this crap of Blaise being a Death Eater, too…” 

Harry shook his head. “No, not because of that. It’s just… I’m not sure if you realize how he’s sometimes looking at you,” he said, evidently uncomfortable with the direction in which the conversation was going. 

She looked at him with furrowed brows. “How  _ is _ he looking at me,then?” she asked, even though she could guess what her friend was trying to say. 

Ginny was faster to answer her though. “Like you’re something to eat, something very delicious,” she said, grinning. 

“And that’s a bad thing?” Hermione found herself asking. “You think he fancies me and that’s why you don’t want me to go with him?”

Harry shrugged, suddenly looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here. “Well, I was just saying…” he said carefully. “Maybe you shouldn’t encourage him if you aren’t really interested…”

“Who said I’m not?” Hermione shot back challengingly. “Ron? Or did you just assume because he said I’m crap at kissing that I’m not interested in boys?” She had said those last words louder than she intended and just when she realized that probably Harry and Ginny weren’t the other ones that heard her words, she became aware of the stares directed at her. Great. She could already hear the gossip Lavender and her troublesome friends would spin out of that. Hermione sighed. 

“No!” Harry protested, but it was too late. The damage was already done and they all realized it. “Sorry. I didn’t want to… it really is none of my business whom you’re taking to that damned party.”

“Indeed, it is not,” Hermione answered in a clipped tone. “And now do me a favour and ask your girlfriend to the party, before she gets any reckless ideas. With Ginny, you never know.”

The redhead chuckled, amused, and Hermione felt like she had successfully changed the topic. Good. She’d sit with them a while longer before she’d seek out Blaise and ask him to that damned party, because suddenly she felt like she had no other choice in the matter, not after half of the Gryffindor common room had just heard her declare that she possibly fancied him. But did it even matter? The man she was really interested in was so far out of reach for her that even taking him to a simple party like that was impossible for her, which meant that no matter what, she’d have to take a guy she wasn’t really interested in, so why not Blaise Zabini? With him, she could at least do something to work against those house rivalries. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  
  


“Why is your cat looking at me like he hates me?” Blaise asked her, his eyes fixing Crookshanks, who had taken up his place on her lap, steadily staring at the handsome boy who was sitting at the other side of the little alcove they had retreated to. She had followed him out after dinner and asked him to join her for a moment and here she was, sitting in front of him, unable to formulate the necessary question. 

  
Instead, she said: “He does that to everyone. Well, almost everyone.”

Blaise nodded with a smile, seeming totally unfazed by her glaring cat. “Hmmm. Well, I can't fault him for being protective of his mistress. I would be too if you were mine.”

For a moment Hermione just stared at him, lost for words. What was she even supposed to say to that? She blinked a few times before she shook her head and said: “Anyway, I was wondering if you’d be willing to accompany me to Professor Slughorn’s Christmas party. Those gatherings are usually very posh, but the food is actually quite nice and…”

The boy across from her chuckled. “Of course I’ll go with you,” he said with a headshake. “You don’t have to convince me first.”

Hermione smiled nervously. “I wasn’t trying to. Well, maybe a little. Actually, I just wanted to give you all the facts first.”

Blaise smiled. “I see. I think as long as you'll stay at my side, we will be fine, no matter how  _ posh _ it gets. Can’t be worse than the engagement parties my mother tends to throw.”

Hermione chuckled, earning herself a glare from Crooks as she did. Her cat really did not like Blaise, she thought wistfully. But well, Crooks had always been special and she guessed she could consider herself lucky he had accepted Severus. One couldn’t have it all, she guessed. 

  
  


Sssssssss

  
  


“So you and Blaise, huh?” Ginny asked her two days later after she had dragged Hermione into her dorm and warded her bed. Hermione watched her doing all the necessary spells herself, feeling a bit of pride thinking that she had taught them to her in the first place. 

“I’m just taking him to that party, that’s all,” Hermione said defensively. “You know that I’m actually interested in someone else, someone who just doesn’t feel the same way about me.”

Her friend sighed. “Well, there is that… You did everything you could to hint towards your feelings without directly spelling things out for him. And it’s not like the man is stupid. Maybe he just isn’t wired that way or he has qualms about you still being a student.”

“Or he just doesn’t like me that way,” Hermione added gloomily. 

“Right,” Ginny said, unconvinced. “Well, maybe going with Zabini isn’t such a bad idea in the end. Some guys do need a little competition to make up their minds. You are aware that people will talk even more, once you’re taking the guy to that party, right?”

Hermione sighed. “Let them talk. It’s not like there’s any substance to their gossip, a fact that every sensible person is aware of.”

Ginny nodded. “Sure. And maybe you should just forget about Professor Snape for a while. Do you remember the fixation I had on Harry? As long as I was focussed on him like that, I was simply too tense… too desperate. Do you know what I mean?”

Hermione nodded. After all, she had been the one giving that bit of advice to Ginny. But now that the same bit of advice was given back to her, it suddenly felt wrong. She did not  _ want _ anybody else than Severus, not even as a distraction. What did that say about the degree of her desperation? Bugger. Ginny was right. She really needed to loosen up a bit, even if it was just so as not to drive Severus away with her repeated declarations of her affection. It wasn’t like he reacted to them anyway. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Christmas season came and suddenly the whole castle was starting to lose its mind. It wasn’t only Minerva who had started humming Christmas carols during mealtimes (which had been enough to drive him up the wall in the previous years). Out of nowhere, the corridors were suddenly plastered with Mistletoe, and by now Severus knew that he had the blasted house-elves to blame for that. Over the years he had been careful to walk through the corridors alone, as to not get trapped below the damned things. In his early years as a teacher, Severus had been unlucky enough to get stuck below one of them with none other than Sybil Trelawney, probably because the desperate woman had started following him around like a goddamned puppy. The one kiss that had followed had been enough to put him off his food for days, because the sherry and the perfume fumes he had inhaled while unwillingly locking lips with the woman had made his eyes water.

After that particular experience he had started to remove the damned Mistletoes whenever he encountered them, but this year it felt like he wasn’t doing  _ anything else _ . It was like those elves were enjoying watching the students squirm or enthusiastically snog at every chance during the day – well, it was pretty likely they did. Sometimes those creatures could be as meddlesome as Dumbledore on his worst days.

Over the years he had gotten used to the Mistletoe, mostly because no female would be suicidal enough to walk close to him at this time of the year. This year things could have been fine, if Hermione had not constantly walked the corridors with blasted Blaise Zabini in tow. Because he could tell that this predator was just looking for an opportunity to enjoy that particular experience.

Luckily Severus found a rather unexpected ally on his mission to protect his mate, as Hermione’s beastly cat seemed to despise the boy almost as much as he did. Therefore he could often see Crookshanks follow her around the castle, watching the door frames like a hawk. And more than once Severus could see the dedicated pet jump up and catch the twigs with its fangs, hissing before carrying its trophy away. In the evening Severus would find a small pile of them on his coffee table and following an unspoken agreement he rewarded each removed Mistletoe with a rat’s tail or a toad’s heart, which he carefully placed in the cat’s food bowl that still waited for his feline friend next to his kitchen counter. Crookshanks happily munched those little snacks in the evening, meowing happily and rubbing his furry head against his teaching robes before he left again to protect his mistress from that unworthy boy, and Severus let him go, knowing that the cat would openly do what he could not. It was a sign of how low he had sunk that he trusted in the assistance of a bloody cat, but he did, because somehow he got the impression that he and the tomcat wanted the same thing (and yes, he knew how crazy that sounded).

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	60. Blame the goddamn mistletoe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again! I hope you’re as excited for those new chapters as I am. They wouldn’t be here without my friends StephanieMRV and Justsare - and without you, of course. 

Hermione had dreaded going to Professor Slughorn’s party ever since she knew she was invited, because even though Severus had assured her that the man was no longer a danger, he still gave her the creeps. Ever since he had come back from being on sick-leave, it was like the man was watching her, studying her, and given her recent experiences with him, that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up in alarm. But now, since she had accepted the damned invitation, there was no way she could back out, no matter how much she just wanted to spend the evening on Severus’ sofa reading one of his books. 

There was no way out of this, she thought while donning the midnight-blue robe and the matching gloves her parents had sent over from Germany a few days ago. The garments fit her surprisingly well and Pretty had been only too willing to assist with what few alterations had to be made, to fit her still-growing bust. 

“Mistress looks very elegant,” the little female elf squeaked, looking at her in admiration. 

Hermione smiled thankfully. Even though her enthusiastic servant maybe wasn’t very objective, her words immediately made her feel better. “Thank you, Pretty, for complimenting me and for helping me get dressed. It would have been impossible for me to do all those little buttons on the back myself.”

Pretty beamed at her. “Mistress would look even better if she would let Pretty do her hair. Pretty could braid it, or pin it up if that is what young Miss prefers.”

She blinked at her elf in surprise. “I really wouldn’t want to impose. But if that is something you would enjoy doing…”

“Pretty would!” the blonde female answered promptly, looking at her with determination. “It would be such a great honour! Elves would  _ envy _ Pretty for being allowed to do such an honourable job, to be trusted in such a special way!” she continued, her voice getting louder and more excited with every word. 

Hermione tried hard not to chuckle. “Alright, alright. You may do my hair, Pretty. Just… don’t be disappointed if it does not turn out the way you’re intending it to. My hair can be very… resistant.”

“Do not worry, Mistress,” Pretty squeaked, hopping on the table behind Hermione. “Pretty can be  _ very _ persuasive.”

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus had dreaded that blasted Christmas party ever since he knew he was invited, and the only thing that made him accept that blasted invitation instead of burning it or handing it over to Hermione’s cat as a toy was the fact that Hermione was attending as well. He knew he would not be able to talk to her much, as they still had appearances to keep up, but at least he would be able to stay close to her and keep an eye on that  _ scoundrel _ she had decided to invite as her company for the evening. 

He was early to the party, not only because it was his habit to never be late, but also because he did not want to miss Hermione’s entry and therefore fail to protect her from unwanted attention. Too bad this meant he had to endure Slughorn’s endless bragging and the introduction to several  _ important personalities _ he did not give a flying fuck about. 

“Ah Harry, come in, come in!” Slughorn suddenly shouted, looking towards the richly decorated door where Potter and his red-headed girlfriend had just appeared. The boy looked around the room with a forced smile, looking like he rather wanted to be somewhere else, and Severus could completely relate. Sometimes he asked himself how many of Slughorn’s guests just joined to use the man for his connections, or because they felt indebted to him for that same use.

Severus watched the two teenagers stroll inside, Slughorn waltzing towards them with that insufferable Quidditch player in tow, and he felt almost sorry for the boy. Well, it got the man off his back, he thought and realized that young Potter had indeed been useful for once. 

Severus slowly moved through the room, watching the growing crowd of people around him with the concentration of a former spy. Most of them had already gathered at the snack table or close to the punch Slughorn graciously provided every year - not that the crap was drinkable for any self-respecting wizard or witch. But most of the teenagers did not seem to care, thankful for the chance to consume some free alcohol right under his nose. Tomorrow, when they would beg Poppy for Hangover potions only to be denied, he would sneer at them, and that thought alone made him bear their moronic behaviour without even lifting as much as an eyebrow. 

He was just about to walk towards Draco and Miss Parkinson, when a sudden wave of murmurs made him turn back to the door. And there she was, Hermione, wearing a gown that made her look like she was dressed in the midnight sky, starlight twinkling from the shiny silk and out of the curls she wore like a crown on her head. She did not look like herself at all and at the same time she did.

“Ah, Miss Granger! Mr Zabini, what a nice surprise. Come in, come in!” Slughorn greeted them immediately, making his way towards them with open arms. “I was not aware you had already secured the heart of this lovely little lady here,” he said, while chuckling amusedly. “There were rumours of course, but…”

Severus wanted to bang his head against the wall. The man’s impertinence was hard to endure sometimes. 

“We are not…” Hermione protested, but right then Zabini’s arm snaked around her waist and she broke off, the expression on her face freezing. 

Slughorn, the idiot, did not seem to notice her discomfort though, just nodded excitedly saying: “Of course, of course. Do come in and enjoy yourself. We do have punch and there are some really interesting people I’d like to introduce you to.”

Hermione nodded, too polite to just send the annoying man away or to detach herself from the boy who suddenly seemed glued to her hip. “Punch sounds like a good idea,” he heard her mumble instead, a polite smile plastered onto her face. “I’m sure I’ll need some,” she mumbled, just as Zabini dragged her towards the refreshments. And somehow Severus knew that getting her drunk was something that bastard would do to get what he wanted from her.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“I’m so sorry I dragged you into this,” Hermione mumbled towards Blaise, who had dutifully followed her from conversation to conversation, without as much as a word of complaint. 

The boy next to her chuckled. “Don’t worry about me, Hermione. Compared to the events my mum makes me attend, this is almost fun. The punch is almost drinkable and I am hoping they will play a bit of music later on. As soon as we start dancing no one will dare to bother us again,” Blaise whispered, his lips brushing her earlobe ever so slightly. She shuddered. 

“You dance?” she asked, remembering Harry’s and Ron’s unwillingness to even learn the most basic moves during their fourth year. Somehow she had assumed this was also true for all the other boys at Hogwarts.

Zabini chuckled. “Sometimes? I’ve been told I’m quite a capable… dancer.” He twinkled at her. 

Somehow he didn’t sound like he was talking about dancing any longer, but just as Hermione began to mull over his words, she felt her feet freeze in place; Blaise stiffening right next to her. She looked around in alarm, but everybody else in the room seemed totally unfazed, not noticing anything amiss. 

“What…” she said, helplessly staring at the boy next to her. Blaise somehow did not even seem unsettled and instead of saying something, he just pointed upwards, an amused smile on his lips. Hermione’s brow furrowed, but when her eyes wandered towards the ceiling, she could see a sprig of Mistletoe, sticking to the wall right above their heads. “Has this been here the whole time?” she found herself asking in confusion. 

Blaise rolled his eyes. “I do not think so,” he said, before a moment later Horace Slughorn bellowed. “Ah, I see our two secret lovebirds have found themselves in a pretty exciting situation!”

Hermione stared at him in disbelief, before a moment later all eyes turned towards them. Suddenly everybody was staring, some amused, some jealous or even mischievous. Among them was Severus, his dark eyes fixing her with an expression she was unable to interpret, but outwardly it looked like boredom.

“I bet he placed that thing here,” Hermione whispered disapprovingly. “It’s like he views this as some sort of entertainment.”

Blaise chuckled. “Probably.”

She didn’t like this, not one bit, because she had the unmistakable feeling that she was being played again. “What do we do?” she asked, her eyes unable to leave the crowd, which was now blatantly staring at them and waiting for the show to start. 

“Usually this is the moment where one is supposed to kiss,” Blaise observed dryly, his hand gently taking hers. “And would that really be such a bad thing?”

Hermione closed her eyes in mortification, right as Professor Slughorn went on, his voice full of amusement: “No reason to be shy, Miss Granger. Your partner looks like he is most eager to fulfill the deed. Kiss him already!” he boomed, his voice probably supposed to sound encouraging. She could not help but glare at the man, her cheeks reddening as her whole face heated up in embarrassment. 

This was going to be bad. There really was no other way out if she did not want to make a fool out of herself and have people tattle even more about her prudity than they already were. Still, everybody in this room would be watching her, probably studying her technique while she locked lips with a boy who was reported to have quite a bit of experience. If she messed this up everybody would know it had been her… and her lack of experience. 

“I’m so sorry to drag you into this,” she mumbled, looking up at Blaise with an apologetic look. 

But the boy shook his head with a smile. “Don’t be. Now, close your eyes, you silly girl. I promise I won’t bite.”

Hermione stared at him for a while longer, before she gave the tiniest of nods and her eyelids closed. She’d just get this over with, she decided, as she felt his arm grip her waist and pull her closer a moment later. Her breath hitched as she felt Blaise’s lips on her mouth, warm and soft, coaxing her mouth open with an ease that could only come from experience and self-assuredness. Hermione didn’t have either, but following a spontaneous impulse she decided to use the chance to learn and practise with an experienced wizard. Because if there was a boy able to teach her kissing, it was this one. And so she kissed him back, her mind cataloguing every move he made, mirroring it to the best she could. It wasn’t enjoyable  _ per se _ ; the strange tugging in her chest prevented that, but it also wasn’t as horrible as it had been with Ron, and Hermione decided that she would make the best of it – for her and for Blaise, who did his best to make this embarrassing experience as enjoyable as possible for her. And given the circumstances that was more than she could ask for. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


He would poison that meddling, pompous  _ git _ , Severus swore while he watched Hermione and that… imposter lock lips like there was no tomorrow. One short kiss would have done for Merlin’s sake, but now that the ice was broken they did not seem inclined to end that kiss anytime soon. But watching them was like watching an accident happen. He did not actually want to see it, but he could not look away either, his mind detachedly cataloguing every one of Hermione’s moves, trying to estimate whether she was enjoying herself, because strangely it was hard to tell. She sure seemed enthusiastic, even more so than with that idiot Weasley, which was already bad enough for him. 

“Ah, wonderful, wonderful,” Slughorn commented loud enough for everyone to hear and Severus could not believe the man’s nerve. Hadn’t he done enough damage already? 

“Ah, to be young and in love again!” he went on, just as the first wolf-whistles started. Severus growled inwardly. But if Slughorn thought this would lead those two randy teenagers to cease their kissing, he was mistaken. 

Finally, after 1 minute and 45 seconds, Hermione pulled away, her eyes focussing on the boy a moment longer, before she retreated a few steps, bringing some space between her and that goddamned mistletoe. Her… escort... watched her leave with an amused smile, before his eyes scanned the crowd with an almost gleeful expression. For a split-second their eyes met and Severus gave him a cold glare, but the arrogant git did not seem to notice it and instead let his eyes wander further, before they came back to rest on Hermione, trailing up and down her body like she was some sort of prize . Morgana’s tits, if he had to watch that predator stalk Hermione like that for the rest of the evening, licking his lips like he could not wait to repeat that… feat... and not be allowed to choke him as a consequence, he would definitely need some booze. Why the fuck did Slughorn only serve that horrible punch? Because really, he would need something stronger than that if he somehow wanted to get through this evening without committing murder, or making an idiot out of himself by dragging Hermione away like a cave-man. 

If, in the end, he was too pissed to find his own bedroom, he would call the elves and blame that goddamned mistletoe. 

  
  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“Do you want to go somewhere quiet?” Blaise murmured into her ear shortly after. They had wandered across the room for a while longer, Hermione carefully scanning the walls and door frames for more mistletoe, but luckily there was none. She had almost finished her second glass of punch and endured quite a few comments from her classmates, all of them hinting towards what else would come for her tonight, or what a great conquest she had made. Like this whole mess was any of their fucking business, or Professor Slughorn’s, who seemed overly pleased with himself. 

“Is there even any quiet place here?” Hermione asked back, looking around searchingly. 

Blaise looked at her with a grin. “Not here. But we’re in the dungeons. I know them like the inside of my pocket. There’s a comfortable alcove nearby where we could… talk.” 

Hermione nodded  warily . She really wanted to get out of that room, away from those nosy people who were staring at her like they  _ knew _ something she did not. Those idiots had  _ no idea _ .  But on the other hand, going with Blaise right now probably was not the best idea. She did not think he would hurt or attack her, but his intentions towards her became more and more difficult to judge. Could it be that he had false hopes for continuing where that kiss broke off? Gods, she hoped not! Still, she wanted to leave the room, if only to get some fresh air, and she could not put off talking about what happened forever. It was best to clear the air right away. 

With a sigh, she followed Blaise out of the room, unaware of the three pairs of eyes following them. As soon as the door closed behind them, Hermione started to feel better, the invisible weight on her chest growing a bit lighter with every step they took.  Still, she carefully took note of where he had stored his wand, and which pieces of armour would function best as cover, should it come to a fight. She hoped she would not need that information, but the last several months had made her way and taught her to be careful.

As Blaise had promised, it was not far until he pulled her into an alcove that was well-hidden behind a piece of armour. It wasn’t a huge space, but for a quick chat it would be enough.

“Sorry about earlier,” she mumbled tiredly. “I hope it wasn’t too bad for you.”

Blaise looked at her with an amused smile, before he put up some privacy wards behind them. They were simple ones but Hermione was still surprised he knew them. “You mean the kiss? It was horrible... and I mean that in the nicest way possible.”

Hermione stared at him, dumbfounded. “Oh.”

“Don’t worry about it. I expected it, and I don’t mean because of the crap Weasley spouted about you.”

Hermione had anticipated several ways this conversation would go, but this wasn’t one of them. In her head the most likely outcome had been that Blaise wanted to kiss her again, because somehow his behaviour had at least hinted towards him being interested. In that case, she would have set him straight about her intentions towards him. But with him being so brutally honest, she suddenly doubted he was truly interested in her. “What else was it?” she asked, her voice trembling. “I did my best to copy your technique…”

Blaise chuckled. “Can’t you guess, Hermione? It was not your technique, it was that your heart that wasn’t in it. Where is the fun in kissing a girl when she isn’t even a little bit flattered or interested?”

She looked up at him guiltily. “I hope you aren’t disappointed now.”

The boy in front of her chuckled. “Why? Because I’m said to be collecting girls’ virginities and I couldn’t tick you off my mental list?” he asked, his voice slightly mocking. 

“What? No!” Hermione protested. She had never gone much for  _ that  _ kind of gossip. 

Blaise smiled. “Good, because that’s utter nonsense.  I just like to be nice to girls, that’s all. But I don’t have to tell you that teenagers can be cruel sometimes.” His hand went to her face, where it pushed one of the curls that had escaped Pretty’s hair-creation behind her ear. “I told you I am your friend, Hermione, and that I am planning to pay back the debt towards you. And I meant it.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Blaise. Every decent human being would have helped in that situation and to know that you would have done the same in my situation is more than enough. I am grateful for your friendship though,” she admitted with a small smile. 

The boy in front of her chuckled. “Then I’ll help you as a friend to get the person you’re pining for - male or female,” he said and when she began to object, he held up his finger to silence her. “No need to say anything, darling. It’s obvious now that your heart is already taken. First I wasn’t completely sure, but one can not hide one’s feelings during a kiss. Didn’t you know?”

Hermione silently shook her head.

“Then you know now. Anyway, I’ll figure out this one myself and when I have, I’ll finally pay that debt. You’ll see…” he promised.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Blaise. To be honest with you, I have kind of lost hope already…” Hermione admitted sadly, but Blaise just shook his head with a smile.

“The tricky ones are the most rewarding, love,” Blaise said, his eyes twinkling. “Don’t worry, we’ll sort this out, I promise. Maybe all you need is the help of a clever Slytherin.” 

  
  



	61. Or blame the punch!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends. It’s been a horrible week which meant that I barely had any time to work on this story. But I did not want to let you wait any longer so here it is, the next chapter.
> 
> Give me your thoughts on it, because I really want to hear then, all of them. 
> 
> Special thanks go to my friends StephanieMRV and Justsare for their continuing support.

Severus watched Hermione and that scoundrel leave the room, his stomach dropping the moment the door closed behind them. He had the urge to follow them, to protect her, and after a short moment of hesitation, he did. He disillusioned himself after silently closing the door and walked down the corridor, his senses picking up the wards that had been sloppily erected in a nearby alcove. He would not be able to see or hear them there, but he trusted the bond connecting him with Hermione to alert him if anything was amiss. If there was so much as a hint of discomfort radiating from her, he would storm in and get her away from that predator, but as long as there was nothing for him to go on, he could only stand here and wait.

There was not a peep from Hermione though, and when he saw her leave the alcove fifteen minutes later, she did not seem to be upset, even though her hair seemed slightly in disarray. Zabini trailed after her with a satisfied grin and it took all his willpower not to grip him by the collar and pull him back into the alcove, to wipe that grin from his face. 

The rest of the evening he spent watching them like a hawk, while he downed two more glasses of that terrible punch just to keep him going. Then, when the party was finally winding down, he watched Hermione and her escort leave, before excusing himself only a minute later. He did not find them on the way to the Slytherin common room, though, and making a quick decision, he stormed into his quarters, banging the door closed behind him before calling for his elf. He would not permit that playboy to take her virginity. Hermione was  _ his _ , and he would not permit such a Casanova to hurt her.

  
  


Sssssss

  
  


Hermione had barely closed the door to her room when she felt herself being gripped by a house-elf and ported away. For a moment her body stiffened in alarm, but then she found herself in Severus’ quarters and she breathed a sigh of relief. It was short-lived, though, because a moment later her eyes fell on the man himself and her breath hitched when she spotted his furious expression. 

She looked at him with wide eyes. “Severus, what…” she started but broke off when he walked towards her, his eyes small and dangerous.

“What did you think you were doing?” he asked in a low voice, that made the hair on her arms stand up in alarm. It was the first time she backed away from him, taking two big steps back until her back was pressed against the nearest wall, but the man was in front of her a moment later, pinning her in place with his eyes and his arms. “Can’t you see what he’s aiming at?”

Hermione blinked at him in confusion, her mind unable to make sense of his words. “Severus, what… what are you talking about?”

The man growled. “He’s going to  _ hurt _ you, Hermione. He’s going to take advantage of you and…. Arrrgh…. How can such a bright witch as you just not  _ see _ ?”

Hermione shook her head. “Are you talking about  _ Blaise _ ? You think we… he… is that what this is about?”

Severus did not answer, just stared at her expectantly. 

Hermione sighed. “Blaise and I are  _ friends _ , Severus. Nothing more,” she assured him, her voice quivering with tension. 

“Don’t lie to me, Hermione, it does not become you,” her friend growled. “I have been a spy for years and I have eyes. I can see how he’s looking at you.”

She stared at him in disbelief, anger slowly rising at her friend’s idiocy and the absurdity of the whole situation. What exactly was he accusing her of and why? Was this some misguided, friendly attempt to protect her? She wasn’t having it, she had done nothing wrong. 

“Then you’ve been a shitty spy, Severus Snape!” she instead shot back, her eyes flashing with fire. “I told you there was nothing between us, well, nothing except that disaster of a kiss, but apparently my word is not enough for you.” 

“I saw you sneaking out together,” Severus growled, his eyes carefully scanning her face as if he was trying to spot a lie. 

It made her even more furious. “Yes, to talk. Did you think I’d just go with him and let him have his way with me, after everything that happened to me those last months? I knew where his wand was and I had mine ready, because I am prepared to defend myself every damned minute of the day, even against  _ you, _ if I must. Now let me go!” 

For a second Severus looked taken aback and Hermione thought he would step back and apologize. But then suddenly something flashed in his eyes, something dark and  _ wild _ that took her breath away. She had no time to contemplate what it was, because suddenly the man moved forward, growling: “No,” before his lips captured her mouth in a stormy kiss. It was nothing like she had ever experienced, the power of the moment and her desire suddenly overwhelming her, shutting down her mind as her instincts took over. It was never a question of  _ if _ she would open up her mouth for him, as his tongue demanded entrance, as if not only to explore but also to mark her. Hermione gladly let him do it, her fingers burying themselves in his silky hair while a whimper escaped her mouth. Severus answered with a growl, his hands gripping her waist and pulling her close until her body was completely pressed against him, feeling the lean muscle that was hidden beneath his robe. Then he kissed her again with an intensity that felt like he was bruising her lips, but Hermione did not care and kissed him back, even though she felt like she would faint from excitement or confusion any minute. Merlin, this was nothing like her dreams. Kissing Severus -  _ real Severus _ \- felt a million times better and now that she had done it, she suddenly knew that no one else but him would ever do for her, and she did her best to show him how badly she wanted him, hoping that he indeed wanted her back.

Time seemed to slow down when their tongues met and danced to a rhythm that only they knew, their lips moving against each other like this was the most natural thing on earth. And suddenly she understood what Blaise had meant when he told her that it was easy to read somebody while kissing them, and that kissing was not about technique but about  _ feeling _ . Because right now she did not care what Severus’ tongue did exactly, as long as he did not stop.

With trembling fingers, Hermione sought out Severus’ neck in the hope of pulling him closer, or at least signal him that she did not want him to stop, and she was promptly rewarded with a groan that made her shiver in anticipation. But a moment later Severus suddenly pulled away from her, his eyes focussing on her intensely while he gasped for air. 

“I should not have done this,” he said, his voice tinged with regret. “I have lost control for a moment, Hermione, and let myself get carried away by my jealousy. I have no excuse but Horace’s horrible punch, which I should not have drunk in the first place.”

Hermione stared back at him in disbelief, confused about his sudden reserve, before she decided that she was having none of it - not when there was suddenly hope that he wanted this - wanted her. “Bullshit!” she exclaimed, her eyes lighting up with fire. “You wanted this,  _ I  _ wanted this, Severus! I want you, you idiot, I have for months!”

For a moment Severus looked taken aback; disbelief, hope, and pain flashing over his face before he said: “Yes, I wanted this...  _ want  _ this, Hermione. But no matter what, you are still my student, which means that I must not act on these feelings, no matter how much I wish that I could. I must not take advantage of you or your inexperience in life.”

“But you wouldn’t! I know you would never take advantage of me, I  _ know _ you, Severus! We’ve been friends now for months and you have never once treated me differently in class, at least I don’t believe you did. Would being with me really make such a big difference?” Hermione asked, not caring if she sounded desperate right now. Severus needed to understand that she wanted this, really wanted this, no matter how crazy it sounded to his ears. 

“Maybe not for you or for me, Hermione. But what about your parents? Your friends? What about the other students, the teachers, or the school governors? We have clear rules in school and I cannot break them, no matter how much I want to. And believe me,  _ I want to, _ Hermione. I want to be with you,” he confessed, his hand gently taking hers into his. 

“But not now?” she asked, her voice laced with sadness. 

The man in front of her nodded, his eyes gleaming with both love and sadness. “Not now,” he agreed and a moment later his hand let go of her. And the loss of his physical contact almost broke her heart, as did the finality that resonated from his voice.

  
  


Sssssss

Severus had the urge to comfort the girl in front of him when he saw the pain and disappointment reflected on her face. It would be so easy to just ignore the warnings of his mind and just do what both of them obviously wanted. He could have her - as unbelievable as it was, Hermione seemed to reciprocate his feelings and wanted to be with him... and  _ Salazar _ he wanted to be with her as well. Unfortunately, there were a million reasons for him not to act on this desperate wish, reasons that he needed her to understand. It wasn’t just that this whole mess would possibly cost his job; he had never cared about teaching teenagers anyway; but he wanted to do right by her, and therefore he needed to protect her reputation.

Severus looked at Hermione with a sigh, his eyes trying to convey what he was feeling right now. But he could not rely on her simply knowing his mind; they had to talk about this, properly. 

“Let’s go and sit on the sofa for a while, Hermione. I have the feeling that way too much has been left unsaid between the two of us. We need to talk about this - whatever this is.”

Hermione nodded and silently followed him to the sofa. She was not happy, her eyes still gleaming with a bit of resistance against the line he had just drawn between them, a line he wished they did not need in the first place. He watched her sit down at one end of the sofa and after considering his options carefully, he decided to sit down next to her, leaving only a few inches between them. He was careful not to touch her though, even though he could definitely make out the pull he was experiencing through their bond. He hoped this sudden need to touch her, to kiss her, would not be an issue in the future. Otherwise the next several months would be pure torture. 

“Have I ever told you about my mother? Or my childhood?” he asked, deciding to follow his instincts in this conversation. He saw her silently shake her head and in a low voice he continued: “You know I am a Half blood. My mother was born a Prince, they were a very rich and influential Pureblood family once.”

He could tell that Hermione was listening to his story attentively and that the momentary change of topic made her relax, as it distracted her from their current problem, at least for now. “She was about your age when she met my father, a Muggle, and fell in love with him. My grandparents did not know of this at first, as my mother had probably already guessed that they would not approve of this kind of connection. My mother thought herself to be in love, though, and it was not long until I was conceived and my mother disowned and cast out of the family as a result.”

Severus felt Hermione stiffen next to him and he did not have to look at her to know the expression on her face. “They disowned her because she was pregnant? Or because your father was a muggle?”

“I do not know for sure,” Severus said truthfully. “My mother rarely spoke of her past other than telling me that by birthing me she disgraced the Prince’s family name which meant that I would never see or hear my magical grandparents or any other magical relative. She was right.”

Hermione shook her head. “My parents are not like that. They would not throw me out simply because I… loved someone they did not approve of. And they would approve of you, after they got to know you.”

Severus turned towards her and after a moment of careful consideration he took her hand. “That might be as it is,” he said gently. “But what about the rest of the wizarding world? No matter how little you like it, that part of the world is ruled by old and stuffy wizards and apart from your family name, your reputation is almost all you have in their eyes. Yes, you are intelligent, but they will only consider your skillset after they have already judged you based on their usual criteria.”

“That is… archaic!” Hermione protested, staring at him with wild eyes. 

He did not contradict her. “As are marriage contracts, betrothal contracts, or the fact that women’s most usual function is still to take care of their children instead of having a job. That does not mean those things aren’t still done these days.”   
  


Hermione grumbled silently and she did not have to say a word for him to know what was on her mind. He knew her too long for that. 

“Yes, you too could turn your back on the wizarding world as my mother did. I imagine she too was young and rebellious and staying with my father, even before I was conceived, was a deliberate decision on her part. She tried to build a new life for herself, too,” Severus continued calmly. After all those years he could talk about that part of his past without feeling the pain of being wronged, or not being loved. “It isn’t only that she failed to ever get recognition among the Muggles, but also her marriage to my father did not turn out to be what she had hoped for. She did not live a happy life, not at all.”

He had barely finished when Hermione turned around, her eyes fixing him full of passion. “What does that have to do with us? It wouldn’t have to be like this between us. Apart from the fact that my parents made sure I could live in both worlds by making me pass Muggle exams as well, you are not your father and I am not your mother.” 

Severus looked back at her sadly. “No, you are not. But I do have my father’s temper, even though I am doing my best to fight it. You are still so young, Hermione. You barely have any experience with relationships. How would you know what it is you want in a partner? Maybe compared to Weasley I might seem like a good catch to you, but…” he broke off, unable to voice all his flaws. He did not want to drive her away completely, after all, just wanting her to take the next few months to really think this through. 

Hermione looked at him sadly. “No ‘buts’. I know you, Severus. We have been friends for months now, haven’t we? Merlin, we are spending almost every evening together and we haven’t gotten tired of each other, and I don’t think we will. Or is there something you are not telling me?” 

He had to smile at her attempt to find humour in their situation. “Probably. But please do not doubt my affection for you, Hermione, it is sincere. I will gladly be whatever you want me to be for you, once I can do so without harming you in any way. It is my privilege to protect you, even from myself.”

He could feel Hermione’s grip on his hand tightening. “Don’t say that, Severus. You are the most honorable man I know and even though a large part of me wishes you weren’t…” she trailed off, her thumb brushing his hand ever so slightly. 

Severus looked at her meaningfully. “I understand, Hermione, believe me I do. But I want to do right by you and I will.”

Hermione nodded, her eyes sad but understanding. “I know and even though I can not thank you right now, I hopefully will one day.” With that she let go of his hand and rose from his sofa a moment later. “I guess I should go back to my room now. Good night, Severus,” she said, her voice sounding understanding, but still sad in a way that made him want to get up and pull her into his arms. But right now that would not be a good decision. 

“Good night, Hermione,” he said instead and followed her with his eyes as she walked towards his fireplace and left with a last, hesitant smile in his direction. He answered it with a nod and a moment later she was gone, leaving his quarters devoid of her presence and feeling more empty than they had ever before. How was he supposed to fall asleep in his bed knowing that he could have had her there, if he had just let things between them happen? But not even Horace's horrible punch had made him careless enough for that, because Hermione was right: he was an honourable man, no matter how much he hated himself for it right now. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	62. Trying my patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my friends. Here is your next chapter. Things are going to happen much faster now, as you might already have guessed. 
> 
> But real life is hard, right now. Luckily writing makes everything better, as well as reading your comments.
> 
> This chapter has been betaed by Justsare. Wouldn’t know what to do without her. 

Hermione had never felt so conflicted in her life. Knowing that Severus held some true affection for her made her unbelievably happy and her heart sang with joy when she thought that one day she would be his and he would be hers. Yes, she understood his reasoning and she accepted his decision, even though she did not like it. Couldn’t it be enough for those squares that she was of age? She knew the answer, her logical side agreeing with Severus’ where her heart rebelled and protested vehemently. How much longer would it be until they could finally be with each other - until she would be allowed to kiss him again? Months? Years? What if one of them  _ died _ in the war? Voldemort was still out there and even though they had gotten hold of the imperiussed Professor Slughorn, they were not one step closer to defeating him. What if he found another puppet, like Professor Slughorn, and managed to assassinate her? Or if whoever had broken into her room decided to act on his threat? What if Severus was killed in a fight? He would be in the front line if it ever came to a final confrontation, that she was sure of. There were so many what-ifs that Hermione’s head was spinning. Was it really worth it to wait and abstain from being with each other for a future that they maybe would never live to see? 

Hermione wasn’t so sure but she also knew that she would not find the answers to that question tonight - not if her head was still spinning from the punch or Severus’ kisses and the endorphins that currently flooded her body. She was unable to think clearly tonight, but hopefully, her mind would clear up by tomorrow. She’d just have to wait and see, she decided, stumbling into her room and sinking down on her bed with a sigh. For now she just wanted to lie down and relive those kisses she had just traded with Severus, because she could swear she could still taste him on her lips - and she loved it.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Blaise Zabini had kissed many girls in his life, but none of them had been like Hermione Granger. That little Gryffindor was a special one and he did not mean the fact that she was more or less immune to his charm. Hermione Granger was special, had always been. Apart from being smarter than any other student from their year, she was brave, loyal, honest and she wasn’t bad on the eye either. Still, she also was a humble one and neither being the Chosen One’s best friend nor the fact that she was a fucking genius was something she boasted with. Instead, she mostly kept to herself and her books, or spent time with the few friends she had and somehow Blaise had managed to be one of them. 

Hermione Granger was a miracle and if there was a chance for him to make it out of this war alive and with his reputation intact, it was by aligning himself with her. So far he had not done so officially as all the cards were not at the table yet. But with Snape having defected from the Death Eaters and Dumbledore still kicking, as well as Potter and Granger firmly opposing the maniac bastard, his bet was very much on the light side. And he had no doubts that aligning himself with his former Head of the House and Hermione would be much more pleasant than serving a barely sane, megalomaniac leader. Luckily Blaise still had time and he planned on using that time wisely. 

That kiss and the little chat that followed was just the beginning. Now that he had finally found out what the girl wanted, he could establish himself as a worthy ally to her and therefore win her loyalty. If while doing so he could even have a little fun by solving that little mystery she had inadvertently provided him with, it was even better. 

Blaise saw Hermione the next day in the library, as he usually came looking for her there during the weekends. She sat at her favourite table, a huge pile of books to her right, distractedly twirling one of her curls around her finger while she read. He was pretty sure she wasn’t even aware that she had started to catch some boy’s attention, not even Weasley’s nonsense had been able to change that. 

“Morning Hermione,” he greeted her while slowly sitting down right next to her. “You still look tired. Long night?” he asked, just loud enough to hear for the girls on the next table. The tell-tale smile he sent Hermione afterwards was enough to make them break out into animated whispers. Good. He’d get that gossip going, even if it was just to piss off Weasley the prat.

Hermione looked at him with an eye-roll. “I didn’t go to bed right away, if that’s what you’re implying. I was kind of busy.”

Blaise felt like chuckling. He was pretty sure she’d said that on purpose, as if she had understood what game he was playing and decided to join him. But he was probably just imagining things. 

Anyway, he’d keep an eye on her throughout the day. Maybe her looks would tell him who it was she was after. Then he knew who he needed to piss off, to drive them together. 

  
  
  


Sssssss

  
  


Severus had barely closed an eye the night before and even though his mood should have been much improved, knowing that Hermione held some more than friendly affection for him, he did not feel much better than he had the evening before. Obviously Zabini the oblivious prat was still after her, probably Hermione had not been clear enough with him. Or had she even said something? If so Zabini seemed to have decided to simply ignore it, because today he followed her around almost constantly, his eyes studying her with a hunger that made Severus sick in his stomach. And as if that wasn’t enough, Severus found him boasting to a group of other Slytherins, when he was just about to retreat after lunch. 

“I always knew Weasley was an idiot,” Zabini said, his voice mocking. “That girl has a fire that makes you want to kiss her again and  _ again _ . And that clever little mouth knows what it’s doing,” he added, grinning lasciviously. “I always knew the shy ones are the best.”

Severus very much wanted to choke the bastard, or maybe design another little potion just for him. Maybe that little playboy would be the right recipient for his potion creation, that would make his mouth smell and taste like rotten eggs for a month. That would finally teach the idiot a lesson…

Severus spent most of the day in his quarters, mulling over last night and his options. They really didn’t have many, as long as Hermione remained his student. Because the bond and them being friends they would keep seeing each other, only that he did not know how to keep his distance from her now that he knew she would welcome his attentions. Kissing her had felt intoxicating in a way that nothing else ever had and Severus realized that he wanted to do it again, this, and much more. Gods, it was like he had landed in his own, personal torture-chamber, where pleasure was only an arm’s length away but still out of reach. 

He imagined it was the same for her, only that she had not even made this decision, but he had. She had surrendered to his reasoning, but he could tell she was not happy about it. And he understood. She was young and idealistic and her heritage did not help her to understand what difficulties they would encounter, should they give in to their desire and be with each other, whatever that would entail. He was not even sure what she wanted, as they had not talked about it. What did it matter what she wanted to have with him, when it wouldn’t happen anyway? What did it matter that he didn’t know what  _ exactly _ he’d be missing out? It didn’t. Still the thought that he was  _ possibly  _ desired by her  _ in every way _ was almost too much to take. Salazar! How was he supposed to concentrate on a bunch of third grader essays, when all his mind wanted to think about was Hermione? But he had to get his shit together and get those finished, because in the evening the girl would hopefully be back in his quarters. And he needed time for a very long shower beforehand. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


It was the first time in a long while that Hermione felt nervous about visiting Severus. Ever since that had become real friends she had looked forward to their time together in the evenings. Now she suddenly was not so sure what they were to each other. Going by what was said between them the last evening they probably were still friends, which was fine for her even though she wanted more. Still, Hermione suddenly was not sure how to behave around Severus. Would he mind if she sat too close to him on the sofa? Was she still allowed to hug him if she felt like it? Should she maybe pretend that nothing had happened between them at all? Because she wasn’t sure if she could…

When she entered Severus quarters after dinner the man was already seated in one of the armchairs, an old book in his hands. Well, that much for the question of where to sit. She guessed that would make it easy for her, even though she felt a bit of disappointment at the realization that he had probably distanced himself from her on purpose. Or had he?

“Good evening Hermione,” Severus greeted her, his voice calm and deep. He looked at her with his dark eyes and for a moment Hermione thought he was assessing her mood, but then she wasn’t so sure. 

“Hello Severus,” she greeted back, halting in the middle of his living room and staring at him uncertainly. She realized that she did not know what to say to him. There were things she most definitely wanted to say, things like ‘I love you’ or ‘I want to be with you so badly’ but she realized that both were things he probably would not appreciate, not after he had made his opinion on the matter so clear to her the day before. But every other topic suddenly felt so insignificant, that she did not feel like talking about it at all. Who cared about things like advanced warding mechanisms or ingredient equilibriums in potions when there were so much more  _ important _ things to talk about? She swallowed, but when she opened her mouth to speak again all that came out was: “I brought my book on electron microscopes. I’ll just leave it on your coffee table, shall I?”

“Of course,” Severus replied smoothly, his eyes kind. For a few seconds they just looked at each other, Hermione hoping he would address the situation between them. But the only thing he said was: “You can borrow my book on goblin warding schemes if you like. Lately warding seems like your favourite topic to study.”

Hermione sighed, before nodding and slowly walking towards the sofa. They weren’t going to talk about this situation between them then, she realized with a wave of disappointment. Why was it that she had already anticipated they would not? Merlin, couldn’t things be easy between her and Severus for once?

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


_ Hermione didn’t know how they had ended up on Severus’ sofa together, but suddenly she found herself being pressed against his chest, his hands buried in her curls. Her hands had gripped his robe, her eyes seeking out the black orbs studying her face with an expression she did not dare to read. But suddenly there was a fire in Severus’ gaze that had not been there minutes before. It was like they were following an unspoken agreement, because Hermione could not have said who moved first. They seemed to move in sync, their lips meeting halfway between their bodies, as Hermione’s arms wrapped themselves around Severus’ neck, pulling him close. Kissing him was almost like she remembered, his lips soft even though the kisses he bestowed on her were full of passion and longing. She responded to them without hesitation, accepting his desire without fear and projecting all the feelings she had bottled up for so long into the kiss.  _

_ “Severus…” she heard herself whisper, when their mouths broke apart after several minutes, both of them panting from the lack of oxygen. For a moment she found Severus looking back at her with hooded eyes, but then his expression suddenly changed and she felt him stiffen in her arms. Just as she asked herself what was wrong with him he said: “Salazar, this is a dream again,” he murmured, his voice laced with disappointment. It took her a moment to catch the meaning of his words, but then she understood. A dream, of course… she thought and she was just about to let go of him, when it hit her what that meant. If this was a dream nothing they did was real and they could not be punished for it, right?  _

_ Hermione stilled, her eyes seeking out Severus’ dark orbs, before her hand slowly travelled to his jar, her fingers brushing against the bit of stubble that had grown there over the day.  _

_ “Hermione, what…” her mate murmured, his gaze questioning. “Do you understand what I just…” Severus trailed off. _

_ She looked at him with a smile. “This is just a dream,” she repeated dutifully, the smile never leaving her face. “Which means that we cannot be punished just for doing this in our imagination, right?”  _

_ Severus’ eyes snapped towards her, focussing her with a long, contemplative look. “We are magically connected, Hermione,” he answered, his voice seemingly calm. “As soon as we are aware of what we are doing, we should stop, don’t you think? Because once we start to commit to those feelings, whatever they are and whether it is physically or just mentally, we are trapped, Hermione. It would be only a matter of time until one of us slipped and made a mistake in public. Also, it will be more and more difficult to respect the boundaries between professor and student, which is what we must do, for now. Can you not understand this?” _

_ It was like he had dumped a bucket of cold water over her head, her hand stilling before she hastily pulled it away. He did not want to do this, not even in their dreams, in their imagination. Suddenly she felt stupid, naive for thinking he would agree to this and she realized he must think the exact same thing about her.  _

_ “I apologize,” she replied dully, before she hastily moved back from him. “I did not think…” Hermione mumbled, wishing that she could simply leave this dream and not face whatever words Severus would find to criticize her behaviour. Because she knew he would, he was probably right to do so. Merlin. She could not do this. She could not face him right now, not after having made a total idiot out of herself just now.  _

Hermione awoke with a gasp, sitting up in her bed and staring at her dark, empty room. Somehow her consciousness must have felt that she desperately wanted to wake up and she had, thank god. But her relief only lasted for a few seconds, because she realized she’d have to see Severus tomorrow and he’d probably want to talk about her inappropriate behaviour. What was she supposed to say? And how was she going to survive Christmas Break that was only a few days away, knowing that Severus would spend the time with her and that her parents would be watching? And there was no chance that her mum wouldn’t catch that something was wrong with her. Bugger. 

  
  
  
  


Sssssssss

  
  


Draco had no idea why he was suddenly called into the Headmaster’s office, as Albus Dumbledore had never given a single shit about him. It was basically as if the man had been ignoring him for years, well apart from the incident when that beast had attacked him in second year, but there his father had taken action and forced the man’s hand. Apart from that Draco had barely talked to the old man and until today he had not been sure how he felt about being ignored by the most influential wizards in Britain. 

Now that those blue eyes focussed him with such an intensity though, Draco suddenly knew that he did not it one bit to have the man’s full attention focussed on him. Because those eyes looking at him were not the ones of a friendly grandfather, or whatever shit the other students that had talked to the Headmaster had spouted. Albus Dumbledore was  _ not  _ his friend and Draco knew he would have to tread carefully here.

“Mr Malfoy,” Albus Dumbledore said, his bony fingers steepled in front of his chin. “Sit down, sit down. Would you like a Lemon Drop?” 

Draco looked at the bowl of sweets before him. It was common knowledge that the man always offered one of them to anyone visiting his office and even though he did not feel inclined to eat one he felt like he should still accept. It wasn’t like the man could poison him in the middle of his office, right?

“Thank you, Sir,” he said, carefully choosing one of the sweets and popping them into his mouth. Draco had never tasted one of those Muggle-treats but he found that those lemon drops were surprisingly sour and fizzy but strangely delicious in a very unexpected way. Interesting. 

“Now Mr Malfoy, how is your family?” the man asked and for a moment Draco just stared at him in disbelief. Did the man ask him into his office for small talk and what kind of question was that anyway with his father being in Azkaban?

Draco carefully studied the man’s expression before he said: “They are as it is to be expected, Sir. I did not hear from my father, but my mother does write frequently, even though she is currently quite busy.”

The man nodded and there it was, the understanding grandfatherly fake-smile. “Of course. I imagine she is in quite a difficult situation. As are you…”

The old man had no idea, well maybe he had. After his godfather had defected as a Death Eater he had probably told the man everything, just to ensure he was allowed to stay in the safety of Hogwarts. Which meant that this was probably an attempt to make him talk. But Draco was no idiot. He knew when to be careful. “As is anybody these days,” he therefore replied, his voice even. 

The Headmaster sighed. “Indeed. But you, Draco, have already seen so many things, terrible things, for your young age. I imagine it is not pleasant to have Lord Voldemort torturing and murdering in your home, probably even laying hand on your mother. But whom to trust when the Ministry, who should have protected you, has just taken and imprisoned your father?”

Draco stared at the man with cool, grey eyes. “I find it difficult to trust anybody these days, Sir,” he said. “I have been disappointed by too many people lately.”

“I imagine you are referring to your godfather. Or have you been in contact lately?” Dumbledore asked, laying his finger right into the next wound. Talking about uncle Sev hurt, he realized, but he did his best not to show it. 

“Once or twice,” Draco replied vaguely. “Has he not told you?”

Albus Dumbledore looked at him silently, probably mulling over his answer. This obviously wasn’t the answer he had expected from him. Good. If he wanted to get off the hook, confusing his interrogator would be a good tactic. 

Finally the man sighed, the grandfatherly facade slipping for a moment. “You know, Draco. I think you’ll need to make a decision soon, a decision where your loyalties lie in this war. There are people able to help you and your family. I am one of them and I am willing to help and protect you and your mother, if that is what you desire. All I need from you is an Unbreakable Vow that you will serve me to the best of your abilities.”

Draco stared at the man, his face schooled into a mask of indifference. Now they were finally getting somewhere, he thought with grim satisfaction. “Thank you Headmaster. But I have already made one vow and I have found it not to be to my liking. I will not make another one,” he said, getting up from his seat. “Was there anything else you wanted?”

Albus Dumbledore stared at him with a contemplative expression. “Just one thing, actually. Your aunt Bellatrix. Have you seen her lately?”

Draco shrugged. “I have not. Good evening Headmaster,” Draco said and walked towards the door. The old man did not hold him back, which he took as permission to leave his office. For now Draco had managed to wind his way out of this interrogation, but he had the unmistakable feeling that it was not the last one. 

  
  



	63. Bug Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotcha! That’s all I’m saying concerning the plot and those next chapters. I’m currently writing chapter 67 and I definitely like how things are going. I hope you will, too. 
> 
> This chapter was again betaed by Justsare. I am sure you appreciate her work as much as I do. 

When Severus awoke in the morning, his body did not feel rested, even though he had slept for most of the night. But the aftermath of their shared dream still followed him, especially as he had not been able to explain the whole situation to the girl, as she must have been woken before he had time to do so. He, on the other hand, had been trapped in that damned dream, but as he had luckily been aware of being asleep, he had used the chance to practise some of his duelling spells with an imaginary Bellatrix. That mad hatter was not the person he wanted to meet in his sleep, but she had been a good duelling partner as their skills were evenly matched and he had taken some pleasure in beating her up and therefore gave his emotions a safe outlet. Duelling the Headmaster had clearly demonstrated his need to improve his duelling skills, but as they had not repeated their practice-duel so far, he was glad to have found another way to brush up on some of the dark spells he had learned in his youth. It was the best he could do without hurting anybody or scaring Hermione away with the darkness he was capable of. He did not plan on using it, using those spells, but he would if it was the only way to protect his mate, his love.

Still, somehow the night had left him restless and tired at the same time and he decided to drown himself in black coffee during breakfast. But he had barely lifted his mug when the damned owls arrived and ruined his morning. 

God, one day he would use that Skeeter bitch to practise his spells, even if it was just in his dreams. The  _ article _ she had written was as ridiculous and slanderous as they came, but it was still enough to cause agitated discussions at the house tables. 

_ Hermione Granger - Golden Girl or Golden Femme Fatale? _

_ Some of you, my dear readers, will surely remember Hermione Granger from her various escapades during the Triwizard Tournament, as the girl had somehow managed to ensnare not one, but two of the champions taking part in the historic event. Now rumours have reached me that the overambitious girl has suddenly resigned from her position as a Prefect. Why, you ask? Well, my dear readers: I do have a theory and some more facts for you. Around the same time as her resignation from her post, she, the often-praised brilliant witch, and Harry Potter, the winner of the Triwizard Tournament, were assigned private quarters in the castle, for reasons that have not been convincingly explained by the Headmaster of the school. According to him, the relocations were done for safety reasons, following Mr Potter’s potions accident that was said to be an assassination attempt. But was it really? Or has said accident only been staged to hide the truth as long as possible? _ _   
  
_

_ Interestingly, the privilege of receiving private quarters has only been granted a few times before in Hogwarts history and each of those exceptions has been made in case of a betrothal, marriage, or a pregnancy. Could it be that the vaunted golden girl is hiding more than her meagre curves below those unflattering large school robes and sweaters she prefers to wear? Or has the Chosen One been snared in again and agreed to marry the girl to give her his protection by giving her his name? Has our dear saviour been taken in by this overambitious girl with dreams of grandeur far above her station? Or is it perhaps a summer tryst gone wrong? Is the father someone else and Mr Potter, the ever noble hero, is helping out his foolhardy friend by giving her his name? Is it a certain rumoured fellow student? Could it even be a scandalous triad under wraps? _

_ So far we have no comments from either Mr Potter nor Miss Granger. They have remained pointedly quiet on the subject. Surely the truth will become blatantly apparent during this coming year. Unless of course there is a different kind of ‘gift’ for yule this year. I will bring the truth soon, my loyal readers. Surely the next Potter heir would be something to celebrate. _

  
  


Severus stared at the paper in his hands in disbelief. People could not honestly believe this kind of shit. Even Weasley could not have come up with such an outrageous theory as this one, but somebody had. And those moronic students seemed to buy into it, as he could already see the first ones turning towards Hermione, critically examining her midsection. Oh for fucks sake, was it too much to ask for people to  _ think _ ?

“Did you know of this Minerva?” Horace next to him suddenly asked, his voice a mix of excitement and shock. “I had no idea Harry and Miss Granger had gotten so attached to each other. If I would have known…” The man wrung his hands, his eyes travelling to Hermione, who was visibly agitated and was just about to get up from her seat at the Gryffindor table. “I would never have encouraged…”

Severus felt like shaking his head. The man truly was an idiot. “Wouldn’t have what? Trapped her and Mr Zabini beneath a mistletoe?” Severus said, unable to hide the sneer in his voice. 

The massive Potions Professor wrung his hands. “It was never my intention to harm the girl, or Mister Potter. If there is really an heir on the way…”

That idiocy was too much for him to take. “For fuck’s sake, Horace. Of course the girl is  _ not  _ pregnant. Don’t you think the Headmaster would have informed the staff in such a case, to take special precautions?”

“Engaged then?” the idiot asked, and Severus felt like banging his head on the breakfast table. Such idiocy was hard for him to take, especially on an empty stomach and from a grown man like Horace Slughorn. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  
  


Hermione stormed out of the Great Hall towards her room, the other students’ looks and whispers too much for her to take right now. It wasn’t that she was really worried about the stuff that insufferable woman had written, especially as all she had to do was sit this out, as time would tell that she indeed was neither pregnant nor engaged. If it had been a normal school year she would have simply ignored that load of gryffin dung, but the last few months had taken a toll on her. It was not only the attacks on her life, starting with the destruction of her parents’ house, but also the emotional disappointments she had experienced lately - Severus’ latest rejection being only one of them. It was like she could simply never catch a break because sooner or later part of her life simply erupted in chaos again.

Hermione had just reached the second floor of the castle, when she suddenly heard steps behind her. Someone followed her, she realized, and following an instinct she ducked into an empty classroom and pulled out her wand. 

There was no time for her to ward the door against intrusion, but she hastily walked towards the end of the room and turned towards the door, waiting for whoever entered behind her. It was Blaise.

“I come in peace,” he said, his hands raised defensively while he entered the room with a crooked smile. “There’s no need to point that wand towards me, love.”

Hermione stared at him with small eyes. She really wasn’t in the mood today. “What are you doing here, Blaise? I’d rather be alone right now,” she said, unable to hide the strain in her voice. 

The boy closed the door and shrugged. “You just really looked like you could use a friend right now - not an I-am-going-to-beat-the-crap-out-of-her Gryffindor, but a levelheaded, helpful Slytherin-friend.”

She looked at Blaise with a tired sigh. “Maybe,” she admitted, before slowly putting her wand back in her wand-holder. “Even though there’s not much we could do about Skeeter’s lies anyway. I’ll just have to wait it out, I guess.”

“Wrong,” her friend replied, walking towards her with an encouraging smile. “There is always something one can do, especially when it comes to people’s opinion. The only question is how far one is willing to go…”

Hermione stared at the boy with furrowed brows. “I am not sure if I know what you’re talking about, Blaise.”

The boy smiled before he asked: “Do you trust me, Hermione?” 

Hermione looked at him sceptically. “Define trust…” she said and the boy across from her snorted in amusement. 

“Let me rephrase then. Are you willing to listen to my advice when it comes to facing those gossiping idiots and a gold-digging reporter?” he said, his dark eyes holding a strange glint in them. 

Hermione considered his words for a moment, but finally she nodded. Maybe Blaise was right, she really needed a Slytherin-friend, even if it was just to not face this craziness alone. 

Blaise smiled. “Good. So this is what I propose we do…”

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


He had just sat down at the fire, when the first Slytherins approached him. Blaise was ready to receive them, but he decided to ignore them first, pointedly reading this Arithmancy book, a sly grin spreading on his face, as more and more eyes seemed to focus on him. When Bullstrode and Crabbe finally sat down across from him on the sofa and started to stare at him, he looked up at them with a raised eyebrow. He didn’t say a word though, because they usually did not need an invitation to open their mouths. They also did not need one this time. 

“So what secret is Granger hiding beneath those bulky robes?” Crabbe asked, his voice dripping with sensationalism. 

Bulstrode didn’t even wait for him to give an answer, as she simply continued: “I knew she had to be hiding something. How far along is she, Zabini? I imagine by now you must’ve gotten a good look at her…”

Blaise looked at those two idiots with a raised brow, the sly grin never leaving his face. “Trust me, there is nothing hiding under those baggy robes of hers, nothing except a fantastic body that is.”

“Are you sure?” Bullstrode asked, her voice dripping with disbelief. “You know there’s such a thing as glamours. She could simply show you what you wanted to see…” she advised him, and Blaise had to use all his self-restraint so as not to laugh at her. 

“Are you suddenly questioning my competence, Millicent?” he asked amusedly. “Believe me, I know what a glamour looks like or how a pregnant body feels…” he said truthfully. He would leave it to their dirty minds to supply the details of what he just said. It didn’t take long.

"You already know what a pregnant body feels like!?" An Aelian Travers, who was one year older than him, asked incredulously. Upon realizing his outburst he kept his face schooled in disbelief. Such a lack of control was not becoming.

“Huh, not pregnant then,” Nott stated from behind and Blaise shook his head. 

“I expected better of you than to simply buy into something that woman writes. Skeeter has no style…” he said, before pointedly opening his book again. He’d leave it to those gossiping scallywags to spread word of their discovery, and together with Hermione showing off her petite body in some tight clothes, it should be enough for those rumours to come to a halt. At least he hoped so.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus watched Hermione carefully throughout the rest of the day. He imagined the day was like running the gauntlet for her, but whenever he saw her, she held herself remarkably well. Right after breakfast her bulky sweater was gone, traded for a thin, white turtleneck sweater that hugged her petite but very womanly curves. She wore it the whole Sunday, holding herself proudly while dismissing everyone who asked about her comment on Skeeter’s article. It wasn’t what he had expected her to do, but he could not dismiss the effectiveness of her change of outfit. 

When the evening approached, Severus could feel himself growing nervous. For a few moments he feared she would not show up, but she did as she used to do every evening. 

Her outfit was still the same, Severus realized when she stepped through the floo, a wary expression on her face. He could not fault her after the day she had just had.

You look tired,” he observed and motioned to his sofa, as this seemed to be the spot in his living room she preferred. And he wanted her to be comfortable, at least in his presence. Even though after last night that might not be so easy. He had the feeling they needed to talk about that situation again, because he did not want her to feel rejected, even though he had clearly drawn a line between them last night. Part of him longed for her, even now, but he could not come to regret what he had done. It had been the right thing, even if it was increasingly difficult - for both of them. 

“I am,” Hermione said, sinking down on his sofa with a sigh. “Sometimes I think I just should have kept Skeeter in that jar.”

Severus looked at her confusedly. “You kept her in a jar…” he repeated tonelessly.

Hermione shrugged. “She’s a beetle animagus. I caught her at the end of fourth year and we had a little talk. I hoped I had changed her mind about writing nonsense about me and my friends, but obviously I was wrong…” The girl trailed off with a dark expression. 

For a moment Severus was lost for words, because there was a dark streak to that girl that he had not expected. It did not put him off, not in the slightest. But it showed once more that this young woman was indeed his kindred spirit, in more ways then he had first understood. They truly got each other, he realized, and another wave of longing washed over him. 

“Next time we will teach her a lesson together,” he promised calmly. “Because I would love to have a little chat with that annoying bug myself.”

Hermione did not directly reply to that. Instead her eyes slowly trailed towards him and she focussed on him sadly. Severus looked at her with a sigh.

“I am sorry I can not give you what you want right now, Hermione. I know how difficult it is to long for something you cannot have, at least not now.”

She nodded slowly, her eyes glinting with sadness. “That doesn’t make this situation any less painful. But I understand now and I promise I will not approach you again, awake or asleep.”

Severus nodded. It was all he could ask for in the current situation and he could see how much it cost her to say as much. It told him how much she had grown and matured the last few months, because before then he could see her being stubborn in such a situation. “Thank you,” he said calmly. “Do not think this situation is not difficult for me, Hermione. Because I  _ do  _ want to be with you, more than anything. But I want to do this right which means that I want to be able to visit your parents with you, without having to be afraid they will throw things at me…” He smiled ruefully. “But more importantly, Hermione. I want to do right by you. I want you to be happy with your life and your decisions in the future. I want you to have all options when choosing a career and I want you to get to know me properly, good and bad sides, before you bind yourself to me.”

He could see her nodding, but he could have sworn that there were tears glinting behind her eyes. The sight tugged at his heart strings, but he did not think approaching her for a hug was a good idea right now. Instead he said: “If your feelings are still the same after that time, Hermione, I’ll be whatever you want me to be for you…”

“And until then?” she asked, her voice sounding small.

Severus smiled gently. “Until then I’ll be your professor … and your friend.” 

Hermione stared at him for a long moment, but finally she nodded. “All right,” she said, the air of melancholy clinging to her. He could tell she was not happy with this situation and neither was he. But it was all they could do, for now. 


	64. A mother’s instinct

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends. I am glad you are still here, continuing to support me on this journey. I am aware that it is a long one. But I believe that it is important to build the characters properly and that takes time. And as this is probably the only Hermione/Severus Fanfic I am ever going to write, I am taking my time to enjoy it. 
> 
> Thank you @Justsare for betaing this and for supporting me. 

Two more days of jabbing comments and very silent evenings in Severus’ quarters and then Christmas break finally arrived. Even though Hermione dreaded visiting her parents with her more-than-Professor in tow, she could not help but feel relieved that there would be no newspaper articles or cruel words from her fellow classmates, neither would she have to shake off an over-enthusiastic and seemingly apologetic Professor Slughorn, who suddenly seemed even more interested in her whereabouts. Together with Lavender, who was nastier than ever, school was hell and some days spent with her parents could hardly be worse. At least that was what Hermione hoped. 

Hermione waved Harry and Ginny off, as they departed for the Hogwarts express before she went back to her private room, where her luggage was already neatly packed. And even though Pretty and Fiercely were not visible to her, Hermione knew that they were already impatiently waiting for their departure. Crookshanks, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen and Hermione knew that her sensible pet always felt when a travelling day was approaching. Then, he hid away in the most deserted corners and from year to year it was more difficult to find him. Luckily she now had three accomplices. 

“Fiercely?” Hermione called into the seemingly empty room and immediately the male elf appeared, an eager gleam in his eyes. 

“Mistress called for Fiercely? Is it already time for us to depart?” he asked while kneading his little hands. 

Hermione shook her head with a kind smile. “Almost. But before we can leave, I need to find my cat, Crookshanks. He hates travelling, maybe because he has to be carried around in that travelling basket. But he cannot stay here, all by himself,” Hermione explained to her little servant. “Could you please find him and put him into that basket?”

Fiercely saluted, a determined smile on his face. “Fiercely will catch the ungrateful cat, Miss. Do not worry,” he said and a moment later he was off. She knew he would find Crooks, probably in a matter of minutes, which meant it was time for her to get ready. Severus would probably come through the floo any minute and she did not want to leave him waiting. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus had visited the Grangers’ house in Germany before, therefore he thought he knew what to expect when he stepped into the wide living-room with the huge windows, which gave a breathtaking view over the large mountains that were not far from the house. But when his vision cleared after he had recovered from the port-key travel, his sight was momentarily blinded by the colourful decorations and fairy lights that Hermione’s parents had placed all over the room and for a moment he could not help but stare at the colourful mess of decorations surrounding him. He did not know if there was a system to the various blinking items scattered over all the surfaces because to him it looked like utter chaos.

“Pumpkin!” a voice in front of him greeted and a moment later he saw Dan Granger dash towards his daughter, pulling her into a bear hug as soon as he reached her. Hermione had barely recovered from the journey, but from the corner of his eye, Severus could see her hug her father back, telling him how happy she was to be here with them. Severus watched the whole display with some detachment, while the two house-elves stood there, watching the new persons they could take care of and looking around the big, cluttered house like Christmas had just come early. By taking them along, Hermione had unknowingly given them the most precious Christmas gift, he mused, and he could not help but wonder if the girl was aware of it. 

Then, suddenly he was pulled out of his musings, as Hermione’s mother stepped in front of him, offering her delicate hand in greeting. “Professor Snape,” she said, a warm smile on her pretty face. Severus had seen the woman a few times now, but just now he realized how much Hermione resembled her, even though her untamable hair was more like her father’s. 

“Mrs Granger, “ he answered and shook her hand without hesitation. “Thank you for inviting me to join you for the holidays. I can imagine you would have preferred to have your daughter all to yourself.” Severus put on a charming smile, determined to leave the best second impression he could. Those people would be his in-laws one day, at least if fate smiled down at him and Hermione’s affection for him was as unwavering as he hoped. 

“Nonsense, Professor,” the woman waved him off with a smile. “Professor Dumbledore explained that you volunteered to serve as a protector for our girl and that you agreed to take a look at those... ‘wards’, is it? - your schoolmaster has placed on the house. We are more than grateful to have you,” she assured him before her eyes travelled downwards to the elves. Severus could see her face go soft as she kneeled down in front of Hermione’s little servants, before offering them her hand as well. 

“And you must be Fiercely and Pretty. Hermione could not stop talking about you. Welcome to the Granger family,” she said, before shaking their little hands with a wide smile. “Dan and I are thrilled to have you and to finally get to know you!” she assured them and Severus thought that the little servants were probably both thrilled and overwhelmed by the hearty greetings they received. The same was true for him. He had never been allowed to bring friends home from school - not that he had had many to bring along - but his father would have probably thrown all of them out on their collars like stray dogs. Knowing Dan and Emma Granger, he had not expected such a thing, but he was still astounded to realize that they truly seemed thrilled to have not only her daughter but them too over for Christmas. 

“Pretty is honoured to be invited to the Grangers’ house for work,” the blonde female squeaked, bouncing on her little feet with excitement. 

The male elf, next to her bowed deeply. “Fiercely feels blessed to serve a noble family like yours, Ma’am. Fiercely promises to be a good elf and work hard.”

“I am sure you will,” Dan Granger said from behind his wife. “But first Emma and I will show you your rooms. Come along,” he said, before motioning towards the stairs. Severus followed him with some distance, his eyes watching Hermione, who carried her grumpy cat up the stairs, as well as the elves, who looked like they were about to burst from excitement. It was pretty safe to say that this Christmas would be a most unusual one for him, but for the first time in many years he was spending it with his family - and he loved it. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Even though Hermione had not been there when her parents moved into the new house in Germany, they had managed to decorate her new room in a way that she felt instantly comfortable in. Most of her furniture, as well as all of her books had obviously survived the Death Eater attack that had forced them to move over the summer, and her mum must have bought some new decorations to make the room look like it was actually lived in. Hermione appreciated the gesture, because even though that house abroad would probably never become her actual home, she did not fancy feeling like a guest in it either.

“How is our Hermione doing in school?”

Hermione groaned inwardly. It had only taken her father until lunch to start inquiring with Severus and it took all her willpower to keep her mouth shut. Instead she watched Severus carefully chewing and swallowing down his food, before he replied: “As you are surely aware she is always top of her class. There is hardly a topic she does not excel in.”

It was true, of course, but Severus’ words still made her feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Her father nodded with a smile. “Believe me, Professor, we are aware of that,” her father said, looking at Hermione with a fond expression.

“Severus,” her friend corrected her father with a friendly smile, which looked totally foreign on him. “I think considering the fact that we will be spending Christmas together, we should forgo formalities, only if you are comfortable with it, of course.”

Her parents smiled. “Of course,” her mother agreed, beaming at him. “We would like that, wouldn’t we, Dan?”

Her father nodded. “Yes, of course. You must call us Dan and Emma then,” he said, smiling. “Anyway, Severus. I was not referring to Hermione’s academic achievements. In that aspect we never had any reason to worry. I was talking about her social interaction with other students. There has been that fallout with the Weasley boy, for example. Is she... how is she dealing with that?”

Hermione could not help but glare at her father. “I am sitting right here, you know?” she reminded him sullenly.

But her father just looked at her with a knowing smile. “Still you have not said a word of how that idiot has been dealt with, or if he’s giving you any trouble, Pumpkin. From Severus here, we might at least get some answers.”

Hermione sighed, but when her eyes travelled towards Severus he did not look unsettled or annoyed in the least. Instead, he smiled and said: “Oh, she  _ has _ dealt with him, quite literally. I will not go into detail though, as I do not want to embarrass your daughter in front of you. But I imagine the boy has learned his lesson, at least to a certain point.”

Hermione nodded and could not help the feeling of gratitude that was blooming in her chest. No matter how much she dreaded those inquisitions that surely would take place during the next few days, it felt like Severus was having her back and supporting her, instead of truly treating her like an uninvolved Professor would. It made her realize that he indeed was her friend and that he accepted her in a way that he could not show yet. But he hopefully would, one day. 

Sssssssss

Hermione had barely retreated into her room, when there was a knock at a door. She had barely invited the person to enter, when her mother strolled inside, her eyes gleaming.

“I thought we could continue this little conversation here, just the women of the house. I haven’t had you to myself in  _ ages _ , love,” her mother said and with a smile she sank onto Hermione’s bed, right next to her. 

Her mother was right, they had not talked like that in a very long time, definitely not during the summer. “You’re right, we haven’t.”

“Which is a pity. I love having time for just the two of us. Now… how did that Christmas party go? You went with that Slytherin… Blaise, right? How was it? Did you enjoy yourself?”

Hermione was momentarily taken aback. So much had happened on that evening, that she did not know what to say at first. She decided on the truth, at least part of it. “Maybe ... a bit. Professor Slughorn’s gatherings are more about making contacts than about having a good time, I think. Blaise did his best to make the evening bearable for me though.”

Her mother nodded. “He sounds like a nice guy.”

Hermione nodded. “He is a good friend.”

“Only a friend?” her mother inquired with a raised eyebrow.

She sighed. “Only a friend. After that disaster with Ron I don’t feel like I want to jump right into the next mess… Apart from that I don’t think there’s any boy I’m interested in at Hogwarts. Most of them behave like children…”

Her mother looked at her inquiringly. “There isn’t any boy or there isn’t  _ anybody _ ?” 

Hermione looked at her mother in surprise. What was she even supposed to say to this? She had sworn to herself to not lie to her again, not after they had finally found some more common ground after the summer holidays. She sighed. “Well, there is somebody but…” She broke off, but her mother looked at her with an understanding smile.

“Don’t think I did not see how you are looking at him, Hermione. It is pretty obvious that you still haven’t gotten over your little crush, love. And I imagine that idiot Ron didn’t really help…”

She shook her head sorrowfully. “Dating Ron was a disaster, mum. I hated kissing him… it just felt all wrong and  _ wet _ …” she said, disgustedly. 

Her mother smiled. “I’m sorry to hear that, darling. Well, maybe after a bit of time you’ll be comfortable enough to try again with someone else…”

Hermione sighed. “Maybe. I… know I cannot be with Severus right now, he told me it’s impossible. But…”

“Wait,” Emma Granger said, her eyes scanning her sharply. “You have spoken to him about your feelings? And why are you suddenly calling him by his first name, too?” her mother asked, her brows knit together in confusion. 

Hermione swallowed heavily. Bollocks. She had not meant to say so much. What was she supposed to say now, if she did not want to lie to her mother? She sighed heavily, straightened, and after taking a deep breath she went for telling her mother the truth - or as much as she dared to. 

Ssssssss

  
  


When Severus came down for breakfast next morning, something in the atmosphere had shifted - he didn’t need to be a former spy to realize that. Hermione seemed… tense, for the lack of a better term. She held herself rigidly at the table and avoided his or her parents’ eyes and instead kept her eyes fixed on her plate. But the food did not hold much appeal for her either. 

Her mother, on the other hand, seemed contemplative, while her father seemed somewhat wary, which was odd given the man’s casual behaviour towards him the previous day. Something had happened, something he wasn’t aware of yet, but he would bet his best potions knife that it was only a matter of hours until one of his hosts spilled the beans. Because if he had learned something about family drama, it was that it could not be kept under wraps for long. 

He was right, of course. He had barely sat down in the winter garden of the house with a muggle novel when Hermione’s father entered the room and sat down in an armchair across from him. The man seemed… tense, worried even, which was reason enough for Severus to be on his guard. He carefully lowered his book and gave the man his full attention, before he asked: “What can I do for you, Dan? I assume you have sought me out on purpose.”

The man nodded, his face grave. “I have. You see… Emma and my daughter had a little conversation last night, one where Hermione admitted to having feelings for you… feelings she thinks you’re reciprocating,” Dan said measuredly. Severus did not even blink at his words, as he was prepared to have this conversation with the man one day. Only he had not assumed it would happen quite so soon. But maybe he should not have been surprised. Hermione was a Gryffindor at heart and sometimes she seemed to wear her heart on her sleeve. It was not surprising that she had confided in her mother, was it?

“I am,” Severus said simply, nodding slightly. “But I also told her that we could not act on those feelings.”

Dan nodded, a tired sigh escaping his mouth. “I know,” he said, his hand raking through his hair. “And as Hermione’s father I appreciate your self-restraint. Hermione is very much like her mother in some aspects, which means she can be very strong-willed and even pushy sometimes. And going by what Emma told me, she is not very happy with the situation right now.”

“Still the situation is the way it is, right now, and it cannot be helped. I am bound by my morals and my contract to not approach any student of mine in an inappropriate way, no matter how much I’d like to,” Severus explained calmly. “But I will be more than pleased to enter a relationship with her, once she has finished her education and if she is still interested.”

Dan nodded grimly. “I guess that is all I could ask for, Severus. You seem like a decent man but I cannot help but be worried about my little girl. She’s the only child I have or ever will have and I want to see her happy. I do not mean to say that she cannot be happy with you; on the contrary. But Emma and I would like to get to know you better, not to judge or intervene, but to get used to the idea of adding you as a family member.”

Severus looked at the man with a raised brow. This conversation was going way differently than he had imagined. “I am looking forward to it. And who knows. Maybe your daughter will change her mind, before she completes her NEWTs. I desperately hope not,, but I am also aware of my… shortcomings.”

Hermione’s father shook his head, gruffly. “I know my daughter, Severus.. She is as stubborn as they come. From what I know, her feelings for you have grown for quite some time. It is very unlikely for her to back out now. Emma never has and I am grateful for it,” Dan Granger said, a small smile playing on his lips. 

Severus nodded, taking note of the man’s words. It gave him hope that Hermione would indeed be his - one day. For a moment the two of them just stared at each other, each of them seemingly lost for words. Finally, when Severus was almost ready to take up his book again, Dan said: “I am sure you are aware that I will have to shoot you, if you ever break her heart, Severus. It is nothing personal, but I will protect Hermione’s happiness with every fibre of my being.”

Strangely this was the moment when Severus decided that he indeed liked Dan Granger. The man had guts, and his heart was in the right place. “If anyone ever breaks Hermione’s heart, I’ll be there first to break him, and I do include myself here. Hermione is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life and she deserves to be happy, to be cherished. I’d never forgive myself if I hurt her…” he admitted, his eyes trying to convey the honesty of his words. 

Hermione’s father nodded earnestly. “I know. I felt the same with Emma and I still do. It gives me hope that you’re indeed the right one for my girl.”

Severus nodded with a wistful smile. “I hope so, too.”

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  



	65. Severus’ proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real life is crazy right now, that’s all I’m going to say on that matter. I’m grateful for this story and the escape it provides for me. Maybe it does the same for you. I’d be very happy if that would be the case.
> 
> Thank you to my friends StephanieMRV and Justsare for supporting me and this story. I am so grateful to have you!

Hermione had felt restless for most of the day, her eyes watching Severus and her parents and her mind mulling over the conversation she had had with her mother the evening before. It had taken a long while to answer all her mother’s questions and to convince her that her feelings were sincere and that they were not going to go away anytime soon. Her mother had been critical, sceptical, and finally contemplative, when she realized that Hermione was serious about Severus. No, she would not date other boys to see if her feelings were only temporary; yes, she would wait for him; and yes, she very much planned to finish her NEWTs early. The latter was an aspect she had not yet discussed with Severus, but she decided she would - soon. 

Because one thing was sure for her after the last few days: she could not go on like this until she had finished seventh year, at least not without going mad or becoming depressed - she didn’t know which one was more likely.

The only thing that had kept her upright was making a plan, or several plans, and mapping out possible arguments from him and her counter arguments in her head. Yes, her mum had told her not to be overly pushy, but she would be pushy about this one thing, because no matter how illogical it seemed to be, considering their professor/student relationship, being with him still felt like the right thing to her. And if they had to make sacrifices because of it, so be it. She would make those sacrifices elsewhere, but not in her love-life.

When the evening of their first full day came, Hermione’s nerves were in tatters. It was obvious that one of her parents, most likely her father, had spoken to Severus, as she could see him watching her differently from time to time. But neither of her parents, nor the man she loved, approached her during the day, probably thinking there was nothing else to talk about. 

After dinner, she finally could not take it any longer and she approached Severus, who was just about to retire to his room. 

“Severus? Could we talk? Because there is something I’d really like to speak to you about,” she said, after she had followed him into the hallway. “We could go to the winter garden…”

Severus looked at her neutrally before he nodded, without saying a word. Instead, he turned around and walked towards her parents’ winter garden, Hermione following him with hasty steps. When she closed the door to the beautiful room behind her a moment later, she carefully silenced the door to give them at least a little privacy. Her parents would still be able to see her through the large windows connecting the room with the living room, but nothing more. 

Severus walked to the middle of the room, where he remained standing and looked at her with an unreadable expression. Hermione slowly walked towards him, stopping two steps in front of him. She just took a deep breath to start the little monologue she had practised several times in her room, but he was faster and said:

“You should have let me know that you confided in your parents, Hermione.”

For a moment Hermione was taken aback by his words, even though she should have expected them. But after a few seconds, she had recovered and said: “I know. I am sorry I did not say anything. I was a bit lost after the discussion I had with my mum last night …” she admitted resignedly. 

Severus looked at her thoughtfully, asking: “What did she say?”

Hermione swallowed. “That you were too old and I was too young,” she started, forcing herself to look at him. He did not deserve that she was talking to her shoes while she repeated her mother’s words. Because he had a right to hear them. Slowly and calmly she continued: “She also reminded me that you are my Professor, which makes it inappropriate for me to pine after you and suggested that I could date some nice, young men instead.” Hermione said, those last words full of disdain, her nose wrinkled in disgust. 

“She is right, you know,” Severus said gently, his dark eyes looking at her kindly. “Even though the thought of you dating other men…” he shook his head and broke off.

Hermione shook her head, her hand slowly reaching for his. He did not pull it away, just followed her hand with his eyes as her fingers entwined with his. “I don’t want to date anybody else, Severus. The thought alone makes me  _ sick _ in my stomach. I told her that, by the way.”

To her surprise, Severus chuckled. “Of course you did,” he said, his thumb carefully stroking the back of her hand. That little touch was enough to send her stomach into a rollercoaster-ride, while her heart started to flutter excitedly in her chest. 

“I have been thinking,” she finally said, deciding to change the topic and say what she had planned to say. “I decided to take my NEWTs early, Severus. I understand that your contract forbids you from dating a student, but I  _ really _ want to be with you. I mean, there is a war going on, and who knows if both of us will even still be alive in one and a half years. And I will not spend months waiting for a thing that I might not even live to experience.”

“And what about your education, Hermione? You love school and learning… you would be taking that away from yourself to do what exactly? No matter what has happened recently, Hogwarts is still one of the safest places in Britain, not only for you but for me too. I am a defected Death Eater and I can guarantee you, that the Dark Lord and his followers would be looking for me if I resigned my position. Which means we would be constantly on the run if we left. And I would go with you because as soon as it becomes known that you are in some way attached to me, you’d have a target painted on your back - an even bigger one than you already have. So what should we do? Hide in a secret kept home like the Potters did? But who would help your friend Harry then?”

Hermione sighed. He was right of course, they would both need to stay at Hogwarts for now - for several reasons. Still, there  _ had _ to be a way, she thought, chewing her bottom lip while she looked for a solution to their problem. “What if I dropped out of DADA class? Then you wouldn’t be  _ my _ Professor any longer…” she said, her eyes focussing on his face to catch his reaction. 

“Hermione…” Severus replied, his voice gentle even though it also sounded somewhat desperate. “I could never forgive myself, if you sacrifice your life or education now only to see you regret it later. You can believe me when I tell you I am not worth it, Hermione. I am a miserable being and some days I can hardly look into the mirror… I do not know what you’re seeing in me but…” he broke off , shaking his head miserably. 

“You  _ are _ worth it, Severus, even though you might not be able to see it,” she said, her eyes trying to convey how serious she was. “I can only imagine what terrible things you have been through, but… when the soul suffers too much, it develops a taste for misfortune. You  _ are _ deserving of love, Severus Snape, and by Merlin  _ I love you _ and you will not convince me otherwise.”

Severus stared at her in stunned silence, his eyes full of disbelief. “You…” he started, only to fall silent again, his eyes raking over her face as if he was hoping to find the answer to his unasked question there. Hermione remained silent for a moment, but finally, she could not hold back any longer and reached for his face.

Severus remained frozen in place, his eyes following her hand as it came to rest against his raspy cheek. “Yes, I love you. And there needs to be a way that makes it possible for us to be with each other. I don’t care if it will be difficult, or what my friends will think. If I really mean something to them, they will eventually accept my decision.”

At that, he blinked, his gaze softening. “You are really serious about this,” he finally said, and she nodded. 

“I have never been more serious. I want this… I want  _ you _ ,” she emphasized, and earned herself the slightest of nods. 

“I see,” he finally croaked out, his head leaning against her hand while his eyes closed as he allowed himself to enjoy her touch for a moment. It was not long until his eyes opened again and he continued: “I need to think about this, Hermione. I am not saying no, but I first want to consider our options very carefully. There might indeed be a way, but you might not like it,” he warned, his eyes boring into her. 

Hermione stared at him, unsure if she should feel relieved or if it was too early for that. 

“Thank you,” Hermione said, a smile of relief spreading on her face. “That is all I am asking for.” 

“And it is all I can promise you for now. I’ll need to do some thinking and some research first,” Severus said, before slowly stepping back from her. 

She instantly felt a pang of loss in her chest, as her fingers no longer touched his face, but she told herself to be grateful for having been allowed to touch him at all. Therefore she put on a grateful smile, nodded and said: “All right. Have a good night then.”

“Good night, Hermione,“ Severus answered, his black eyes staring at her tenderly. “I will see you tomorrow.”

Hermione nodded, her eyes following him as he cancelled her basic wards and walked out of the room. She remained standing in the winter garden for a while longer, staring out of the huge windows giving her a view over those huge mountains. But she could not find it in herself to appreciate them, her thoughts lost on what solution Severus could have in mind. 

Ssssssss

It was a long while until Severus finally sunk down onto his mattress, the tension unwilling to leave him or his body. Somehow he felt like he was trapped in some sort of shared dream, because the fact that Hermione wanted him and was willing to sacrifice her future just to be with him, was so alien that it could hardly be true. But it was, or so she had said. 

Still, sacrificing her education and therefore her later career options was nothing he was willing to do. But in one aspect she was right: his contract only bound him as long as he was her Professor. As soon as he was no longer teaching her, he would be able to pursue her without somebody being able to punish him for it. Because Hermione was of age - thank Morgana. 

That was only part of the problem though, as society would still mercilessly judge her for her decision. He could already imagine Skeeter’s articles that would surely follow, as soon as the insufferable woman found out they were involved with each other. She’d have a field day with them. And that was only the beginning. Hermione’s reputation would be in tatters no matter what and the only way to prevent it was to give her his protection. Except it would need  _ at least _ a betrothal contract for that - which he could see neither Hermoine nor her parents agreeing to, let alone to anything more extreme than that. He sighed. A marriage would be even safer, as it would definitely satisfy those old farts in the ministry. It would show her respecting pureblood customs and their stuffy, old-fashioned rules. But a marriage would need to be consummated, as it could otherwise be annulled. And even though Hermione would one day maybe go that particular step with him, he did not want to presume that it would be anytime soon. Still, he had to let the girl at least know her options, even if it was just to make waiting easier for her. He was used to being denied what he wanted, but for her this was new… and hard. 

Therefore he made sure to have all the facts and possibilities researched for the coming conversation with her - and he made sure to include her parents in it as well. Because Hermione would need them on her side and they would have to discuss this as a family before decisions could be made.

It was the morning before Christmas when Severus asked the three of them to sit down with him in the living room. For himself he chose one of the armchairs and made sure to keep some distance between him and the Grangers. Because even though he was planning on suggesting a betrothal or even a marriage to Hermione, he wanted Dan, Emma, and Hermione to feel as a unit, hoping that it would provide them with the feeling of safety.

His plan seemed to work as all three Grangers chose the sofa to sit on, Hermione sitting in the middle and staring at him anxiously. Her parents seemed somewhat helpless, but he could sense no hostility from them. 

Nervous, but trying to project an aura of calm, he dove right in.“Hermione and I are looking for a way of being together without facing repercussions considering her current status as a student. For several reasons waiting is hard… for both of us, as the affection we hold for each other is most sincere.”

Hermione nodded seriously to support his words. Her parents looked at her with somewhat resigned but soft expressions and Severus could not help but ask himself what they were thinking about all of this. Because even though Dan seemed to view him somewhat favourably, this was a far cry from accepting him as a future son in law. 

“We know you’re very fond of each other,” Hermione’s mother finally said. “Now that we are able to see you around each other every day, your affection is as plain as day. We are glad that Hermione has found someone she admires, someone matching her own intellect.”

Dan nodded. “You seem like a good and loyal man, Severus, but…”

Severus focussed the man with his eyes, waiting for the fault they had found with him. By Merlin he knew there were enough of them. “But?” he asked, his eyebrows raised ever so slightly.

Emma cleared her throat.“Well, there is still the age difference between you. I do like the fact that you are not a green boy and do have some experience and wisdom in life. But when I think of Hermione becoming a widow someday, having to live twenty or thirty years without you…” She shook her head and Severus could not help but stare at her in disbelief. 

“You are worried that I might die on her from old age?” he asked as neutrally as possible and the Grangers nodded. That thought had not even crossed his mind, because until now he had not even expected to live along enough to grow old in the first place. As a Death Eater and Spy he had never actually planned on surviving past that damned war. But now… now there was Hermione, and he was determined to spend as many years with her as he could. 

“Well, in this respect at least I can reassure you. As a potions master I could easily outlive her if I attempted it. There are potions to rejuvenate a body as there are potions for regrowing a limb. If the time comes that my age would be a problem in any way, that could easily be fixed,” Severus explained, the Granger’s eyes growing larger and larger. Even Hermione stared at him in something like happy disbelief. 

“That…” her father started, shaking his head. “We were not aware that was possible.”

Severus nodded patiently. “Do you have any other hesitations concerning my person?” he asked, staring at Hermione’s parents solemnly. 

“None. As long as you will cherish my girl and make her happy, as well as challenge her, sometimes, that is good enough for me,” Dan Granger said, nodding seriously. 

Hermione’s mother nodded. “You seem like a sensible man, Severus, and the concern you are showing for her situation is telling me everything I need to know about your character. So, did you find any kind of solution to your current situation? You cannot date her as long as you are still her Professor.”

Severus nodded. “I am aware. But this is not the only problem here,” he said, before he carefully explained his other thoughts on the matter.

The Grangers listened patiently, even though Hermione’s face clearly showed her disapproval of the current system that was basically ruled by pureblood families. He could not blame her, because he himself had been an outsider for years because of his mother’s mistakes. Only once he’d managed to make a name for himself had he started to be accepted, not for his political influence or wealth, but for his usefulness and through the fact that the Dark Lord had pulled the right strings to promote him. 

“This sounds like a damaged reputation could indeed be very harmful to our Hermione,” Emma Granger said as soon as he had finished, her arm coming around Hermione’s shoulders, probably in the hope of soothing her. “So what is it you are suggesting, Severus?”

“A betrothal, including a betrothal contract,” he answered calmly and for a moment it was like time had stopped, as all three Grangers sat completely frozen in place. Severus was sure it was only the calm before the storm, and he braced himself to weather it. 


	66. The contract

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend everyone. Here’s the next chapter for you. It’s still a while until it’s really Christmas. But I did not want to leave you waiting for that long. 
> 
> Thank you Justsare for betaing this. You’re my hero!

It was 1 minute and 12 seconds until Hermione reacted to his words, her voice numb as she repeated: “A betrothal.” 

Severus looked at her calmly and nodded. “It is the only way to protect your reputation, Hermione. I know you do not like those pureblood traditions and that they might seem outdated to you, but the only way for you to find acceptance among those people is to play by their rules. If you want to live in a society, you’ll need to adapt to it.”

He saw Hermione’s parents nod understandingly, while Hermione had frozen again, the only part of her moving her eyes, which ghosted from left to right and back. She was thinking - hard.

Severus watched her with outward calm, while secretly bracing himself for her rejection. She did not say a word though and instead kept staring at her hands, not even moving when her parents got up and silently left the room, throwing him a meaningful glance. Only when they closed the door behind them did Severus understand that they were giving them some privacy, and he was thankful for it. 

“I am aware this is probably not what you want, Hermione. But you would not be shackled to me in case things don’t work out. We could include a clause that enables you to back out of the contract, in case you do not want to follow it through when the time comes,” he continued. This was finally enough to focus her attention on him again, her eyes snapping up to his face to stare at him in disbelief. 

“You expect me to reject you,” she observed with a headshake before a tired sigh escaped her mouth. “Is this what you want?” she finally continued, her eyes studying his expression. “Or did you just suggest it for my sake? Because honestly, I cannot make a decision not knowing how you feel about this. Do you want to be betrothed to me, marry me eventually? Or are you still questioning that proposal yourself and are therefore expecting me to reject it?”

Severus blinked in confusion. “No, Hermione. My hesitation is solely based on my worry about your future happiness. It has nothing whatsoever to do with my feelings for you,” he said, his voice deep and calm. 

Hermione looked back at him unblinkingly. “You didn’t answer my question, Severus. Do  _ you _ want to do it? Get engaged to me? Marry? Have kids?” she asked, her eyes never leaving his. 

“Yes,” Severus replied, his voice sounding somewhat hoarse. “Yes, I want all of that with you, Hermione. I am just terrified that you’ll end up like my mother, miserable and regretting your decisions. I don’t want you to feel shackled to me one day, unable to leave because society would ruin you if you did.”

She looked at him with a sigh, before she got up from her seat and walked towards him. Without saying a word she kneeled down in front of him and took his hands, her eyes fixating him as she asked: “Why do you think I will regret my decision, Severus?”

He sighed. “I told you, I have my father’s temper. I can be moody and ill-tempered, even though I am convinced that I would never lay a hand on you. But…”

Hermione shook her head and Severus fell silent, looking at her with furrowed brows. She said: “Do you really think I do not know that? Severus, you have been my Professor for years now and that wasn’t a particularly pleasant experience. I know that you can be moody or even hurtful, I’ll probably never forget the comment you made about my teeth.”

At that Severus snorted, an apologetic smile on his face. But Hermione was not finished. “Don’t think I’d just endure your temper, being miserable about it. If you are really doing this, if  _ we _ are really entering a betrothal - or later on, marriage - I’ll expect us to treat each other as equals, and therefore I will not just stand by and wordlessly endure your temper without fighting back.”

“I do not expect you to,” Severus answered solemnly. “I do not need a wife that cowers away and is too afraid to speak up. I want a partner, Hermione, someone I can love and respect - and someone handing me my arse if need be.”

Hermione smiled up at him, her hands gently pressing his. “Then let me be this someone for you,” she pleaded and to her astonishment, Severus nodded. 

For a long moment he just stared at her, seemingly considering his options before he suddenly moved forward, sliding from the chair and wrapping his arms around her. The next thing she was aware of was his nose that was buried in her hair while he peppered her crown with kisses.

“I love you,” he murmured, nearly silently, but Hermione heard him anyway. “I cannot believe we are doing this, you are doing this, but the fact that you want me,  _ truly _ want me, makes me the happiest man alive.”

Hermione smiled, her heart slowly melting from his words. “Oh, and how I want you, Severus Snape,” she said, her arms coming around him while her head leaned against his chest. “And I’m so thankful I can finally tell you. So… we are getting engaged?” she asked, her voice happy and full of wonder. 

“If your parents agree to it? I would strongly recommend them signing the betrothal contract as well, as it would give you an additional layer of protection,” Severus said seriously.

Hermione nodded. “We will talk to them. Luckily my parents are reasonable people. They will understand the reasoning behind this. And I can tell they’ve already come to consider you as part of the family.” 

Severus smiled. “Let us hope you are right about this. Because now that I have started to allow myself to hope for you to be mine soon, I’d be most disappointed to let go of you again.”

“Then don’t,” Hermione said with a smile, while her heart sang with joy. He’d said he wanted her to be his and Hermione felt her belly start to flutter in anticipation of what that might entail. 

  
  


Sssssss

  
  


Something had happened, Crookshanks thought, while watching his mistress and her family sitting in the room with the comfortable sofas, discussing things with the raven man. He had watched him and his ward tiptoe around each other for days again, only for things to suddenly shift between them. Not that he had any idea what had happened, but he sure as hell was not complaining. 

Instead, he casually strolled over to the sofa, where his mistress and her hopefully-now-suitor were seated, and positioned himself on the man’s lap. He had learned how important it was to declare his opinion, especially when it came to a caregiver. It was the way he had garnered his mistress’ attention in the first place, convincing her to adopt him and free him from that horrible place with all those unworthy other creatures and the annoying humans that used to stare at him with something like pity. His mistress had been different though, she had looked at him with adoration and from that day he had been careful to cultivate that feeling. She had looked at him with huge, loving eyes, the same eyes she used now to look at the raven-man, and Crookshanks took that as a good sign.

“Is it really necessary to write the status of my hymen into the contract?” Crooks could hear his mistress say, her voice sounding somewhat stressed. He purred and rubbed his head against her thigh and it was only a moment until her hand came to scratch his ears. A moment later he felt her slightly relax next to him and let out a satisfied purr. 

“I mean, it is really no one’s business, is it?”

“This is just to protect your reputation, Pumpkin,” his mistress’ father said, his tone soothing. “For nothing else.”

The girl sighed. “I know. It’s just… argh… this is all so patriarchal and  _ old-fashioned. _ ”

“If we were writing an old-fashioned contract we would define the number of children you have to bear and the timeframe in which you must do so,” the raven-man commented dryly, his hand coming to rest on Crookshanks’ back. He rewarded him with an encouraging purr. “Which we will not do. But we have to log everything we are bringing into this union. In my case, that’s a substantial amount of money and two houses, even though one of them is hardly more than a hovel. In your case, it is your virginity, which might not seem much to you - or to me, necessarily -, but to a pureblood wizard it is of huge significance.”

His mistress was silent for a moment, her fingers stilling as she seemed to get lost in thought. “I know,” she answered after a while, her fingers finally resuming her petting. 

From thereon the conversation in the room seemed somewhat calmer and from time to time Crooks could feel the raven-man’s hand creep towards his mistress’, coming to rest with hers for a moment. Those two definitely seemed to be on the right track, he mused, which was probably due to the absence of that annoying  _ other _ human, who had started to stalk his mistress. It had been growing obvious that the raven-man would have to make a move soon. Luckily it seemed like the idiot had finally gotten the right idea. Crookshanks could only hope that the man would now finally get on with it and secure his mistress. Because otherwise Crooks would have to make another move - one that would drive that other suitor away for good. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Setting up that damned contract took hours, and a few times Severus was almost sure Hermione would bolt from the room. But she stayed put, even though Severus could tell how hard it was for her, as several of the passages made her grit her teeth. 

But shortly before lunch the contract was finished. 

“Can we all agree on this?” he asked the Grangers one final time. 

The three of them nodded and Severus sighed in relief. He still could not believe that this was happening, that Hermione was willing to get engaged to him, let alone marry him. But she did and for some unfathomable reason her parents had given them their blessing. 

“Good. Then we just need to sign this and it is done,” he concluded and reached for the quill. But then he became aware of Hermione’s mother shaking her head and smiling while she did so. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” she asked, her eyebrow raised at him with a smile. 

Severus furrowed his brows. “Forgetting what?” he asked, feeling stupid for it. 

Emma Granger looked at him fondly and said: “This is more than just a business transaction, Severus, which I am sure you are aware of. I can tell that you love our Hermione very much and that below that rough facade you’re a romantic.” She smiled at him just as Hermione’s cat, who was by now lying on his lap, stretched, while digging his claws into Severus' thigh. 

“That is why you are going to take our Hermione on a date now, have a little fun together, and  _ then _ we’re going to sign that contract, while drinking wine and celebrating Christmas Eve. How does that sound?” she asked, looking at him and Hermione.

“Acceptable,” he said.

“Wonderful!” Hermione exclaimed at the same time, beaming at her mother. And so it was decided. He and Hermione would go on their first date and Severus did not know whether to be thrilled or terrified at the prospect. Because going on a proper date was something he had never done before, as no one had ever shown remote interest in dating him. Now he had no idea what would be expected of him today, and the thought that he could mess this up terrified him more than he could say. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


It was three hours later that Hermione stood in the middle of Munich’s Christmas market, the gigantic Christmas tree twinkling in the distance. Hermione was wrapped in her warmest woollen sweater and a thick coat, while Severus had donned a grey woollen coat himself, a Slytherin-coloured scarf wrapped around his neck. The sudden change of colour looked so foreign on him, as she had rarely seen him in something other than his teaching robes, but Hermione instantly decided that she liked his change of appearance.

“It’s beautiful here,” she said for the lack of something else to say, but still meaning it. “The stalls will not be open for much longer mum said, but it will be enough for a little stroll, don’t you think?”

“Of course,” Severus said, staring at the wooden stalls and the many different products with a somewhat lost expression, his eyes scanning the area like he was expecting danger or at least trouble. 

Hermione looked at him worriedly. “Severus? Is everything all right?” she asked and a moment later he looked at her with a sigh.

He said: “I’m afraid I have no idea how to do this, Hermione. I… have never before been on a date and the only information I could collect on the topic was from watching smitten teenagers prancing through Hogsmeade, which I do not consider a valid source. I have no idea what you might expect or what you would want me to do…” He trailed off and Hermione looked at him with a soft smile. 

“The only experience I have is from dating Ron,” she said, smiling awkwardly. “I am sure between the two of us we can figure it out. How about we look for something to eat? I think they’re selling roasted chestnuts over there,” she said, pointing into the distance. 

Severus nodded, relief showing on his face. “May I hold your hand while we go there?” he asked, his voice deep and soft. 

Hermione smiled happily. “I’d love it if you did,” she answered and offered him her hand. He took it with a small smile and guided it into the pocket of his coat, making sure they would not get cold. The thoughtfulness of the gesture made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

This was Severus’ first date, she thought while they passed the beautifully decorated stalls, buying chestnuts and sipping mulled wine. Her heart melted over the realization that no one had ever bothered to really get to know him in such a way - that she was probably the first person being allowed to experience this with him. It made the afternoon they shared all the more special for her. Here in this foreign country no one knew them and they could just be themselves, two people slowly falling more and more in love with each other. No one judged them or even looked at them and for an afternoon there was not even a war that threatened to take everything away from them again. Right in this moment they were just Hermione and Severus and with a smile she realized that this was what they could be to each other from now on - two people being in love and not just Professor and student - and Hermione was looking forward to it. 

  
  
  
  



	67. Making memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: Tooth-aching amounts of fluff are coming your way. Please brush your teeth afterwards. ;-)
> 
> Thank you Justsare for betaing this chapter. This story gets so much better through you!

Severus could not have said if strolling across a German Christmas market classified as a typical date, but he enjoyed every moment of it and Hermione seemed happy enough. He had never seen her consume as much unhealthy food as she did during that one afternoon, but he fondly watched her eat roasted almonds and cotton candy and drink mulled wine out of decorated mugs, nibbling the bits of food she offered to him with her gloved fingers. He dutifully ate all of it, even though he wasn’t actually very fond of sweets. But he was fond of that petite, clever Gryffindor and he just loved the smile blooming on her face, whenever he accepted a treat she offered to him. If he hadn’t already been aware of how smitten he was with her, then that little bit of self-observation would have told him everything he needed to know. 

“Should we slowly go back?” Hermione finally asked after they had seen about half of the market, but it was evident that most of the stalls were about to close. 

Severus looked at her with a smile. “Soon. If you do not mind, I’d first like to take you somewhere else,” he said, keeping his tone as neutral as possible. “Or do you think your parents will be expecting our return?”

Hermione shook her head. “They will want us to join them for dinner, but that isn’t before seven. So we could go somewhere else if you want to.”

“Good,” Severus said and guided her hand to the crook of his arm. “Hold on tight.”

He apparated them to a deserted clearing in the forest, close to her parents’ house. He had first discovered the spot when he had visited Dan and Emma Granger earlier in the year to hand over the two-way mirrors Hermione had bought for them. At that point, he had never expected to one day take his girlfriend, or even fiancée there, but here he was and Hermione with him.

The place itself wasn’t that special, but the trees around them looked like they were straight from a fairy-tale. They were old and had a wild touch to them that made them almost seem sentient . And then there were those huge, snow-covered mountains in the background that gave the spot a truly singular flare. The finishing touches were the hundreds of little fairy lights, floating around the clearing, which he had asked the two eager house-elves to arrange. Hermione had barely landed on the soft grass, when he could see her eyes light up in wonder, before she looked at him in awe. 

“This is beautiful, Severus,” she breathed, her breath forming white clouds from the cold. 

“You like it then?” he asked, even though the answer was pretty obvious from the expression on her face. 

“I love it,” Hermione admitted, her hand letting go of his arm, only for both of her hands to cup his face a moment later. “I love you,” she added, her caramel-brown eyes shining with happiness. 

Severus only hesitated for a split-second, before he leaned down and kissed her, his heart singing with joy when their lips met and he realized that from now on he could legally do so. Hermione was his, truly his and he’d do his damnest to keep her. Wrapping his arms around her petite body he pulled her close and kissed her like he never had before. Their first kiss had been disorienting, as they had just woken from sleep, and he had pulled himself back from it. Their second had been full of desperation and jealousy and afterwards he had above all else felt regret and mortification that he had lost his self-control. Now his heart was light as he was finally free to do as he pleased and he was eager to show her how deeply he felt for her. He wanted her -  _ needed _ her - to understand that he loved her and how grateful he was that she loved him back. Therefore he put as much feeling into the kiss as he could, his lips softly worshipping her mouth until he was in need of some air. Only then he pulled away, but only far enough that he could rest his chin on top of her curly crown. 

“I never thought that I would ever feel happiness again in my life,” he said, his voice soft. “But here I am, unable to believe my luck. I love you, witch.”

He wanted to say so much more, and he would, because Hermione’s mother was right. This day was not just about making and signing contracts and he wanted Hermione to remember it as so much more than that. But for that, he wanted to look at her first. And so he moved his hands to her shoulders and took a small step back, so that he could focus her with his eyes and say: “I want you to be my wife, one day, I want to kiss you until we are both breathless and aching for more and then I want to make love to you, until we are both sweaty and sated. But at the same time, I want to spend my evenings with you, reading, experimenting, or talking magical theory. So... will you do me the honour of becoming my wife, Hermione?”

It was a strange feeling, having just kissed her for only the third time and still ask her this question, but in the end, that’s what they were doing. They were about to get engaged, because those stuffy old farts that were ruling the wizarding society did not give them the chance to be a normal couple for a while, before going that step. But now, as he spoke those words, he realized that it did not matter. He knew that there was no one else but her for him and he had no qualms about letting that be known to anyone who cared. 

Hermione looked at him with a watery smile, her eyes shining like the fairy lights floating all around them. “Oh, Severus. Yes, I would. I want to be your wife one day and I want to do all those other things and more.”

“Good,” he said, before he kissed her again, Hermione melting against him with a happy sigh. He kissed her slowly, his hands travelling from her shoulders to her neck, where they came to rest and played with her thick, soft curls. He could not wait to run his fingers through them and explore them like any other part of her body. But not now, not today, as she surely would need time to adapt to this new situation. 

And there was still one thing left for him to do.

After he had detached himself from her a while later, his hand went to the inner pocket of his grey coat and pulled out the little box he had transfigured only hours ago. It contained a ring he had spent most of the last night crafting, carefully forming the gold he had brought along until it perfectly cupped the glowing fragment of a light crystal. When Hermione’s eyes fell on the piece of jewellery, she gasped in surprise. 

“Severus, is this a part of the crystal we brought from the cave?” she asked, and he nodded.

“It is. I hoped you would appreciate the idea behind it. Unfortunately, I do not possess any family heirloom I could gift you with,” he explained, but was silenced by her finger on his lips. 

“It is perfect,” she said, the look in her eyes telling him that she meant it. “I love it that you made this for me and I will cherish the memory of those moments in the cave forever. It was such a special, magical experience…”

Severus nodded in agreeance. “It was. It is one of the fondest memories I have, but I am determined to make many more.”

Hermione smiled. “Then let’s do that, together.”

This time it was Hermione initiating the kiss, rising to her toes and gripping his shoulders in the hope of reaching him. He still had to bend down a little, but he did so with a smile before his eyes closed a moment later so he could lose himself in the sensation of her taste and the soft feeling of her lips. He did not even need a warming charm to keep him warm, as his elevated heart-rate and the warmth spreading in his chest was enough to keep the cold away. Suddenly he felt like all the shit he had experienced had been worth it, because it had brought him here, to her. And no matter what waited for them in the future, he would forever remember this moment and treasure it, just as he would treasure the witch in his arms.

“Will you let me put that ring onto your finger now?” he asked a while later, when Hermione looked at him with blown pupils and rosy cheeks. This image of her alone was enough to make him want to kiss her again and again, but slowly dinnertime approached, and her parents would surely be waiting for their return. 

Hermione nodded. “Of course.” With a smile she offered him her tiny hand, after removing the fingered glove. He took it carefully and slipped the ring onto her finger with a proud smile. It fit her perfectly, the charm he had added for that purpose making sure of that.

“It’s beautiful,” Hermione said, staring at her hand in awe. 

Severus smiled. “I had some practise from making your necklace,” he admitted calmly. “That one took me much longer to figure out how to do it. Should we head back now?”

“Just a moment,” Hermione said, before her arms came around his neck and pulled him down again. “First I am going to show you how much I appreciate your thoughtfulness... and then we can go.”

Severus chuckled, before his lips found hers again. He didn’t have any complaints about that, not at all. Because snogging his brilliant, enthusiastic fiancée sounded like a wonderful plan. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“You look like you’ve had a good afternoon,” Hermione’s mum commented, when she stumbled into the kitchen fifteen minutes later, her cheeks red from excitement and the cold. 

“The best,” Hermione exclaimed, unable to suppress the urge to look at her ring again. Even though she could very much feel it on her finger, her eyes had to take in the beauty of it again, because she simply could not get enough of it. It was only a moment until she was interrupted by her mother’s squeal, though, the woman rushing towards her and snatching up her hand to look at the ring herself. 

“Oh Hermione,” she cooed, her eyes shining happily. “I knew the man had it in him. What did he say? Where did you go?” she asked, her voice much higher than it normally was. 

Hermione smiled happily at her mum, before she gestured towards the cosy red kitchen sofa. Her mum followed her there with a wide excited smile. For once Hermione was eager to have some one-on-one-time with her, because she really was eager to tell someone about her first date with Severus. And who was better suited for that than her mum? 

  
  


Ssssssss

Hermione loved Christmas, but this year it was indeed something special, even celebrating it in a different country. Germans exchanged their gifts on Christmas Eve and her parents, ever eager to adapt to their new home, made them sit together in the living room, candles and Christmas tree shining in warm light while the smell of mulled wine and freshly baked Christmas biscuits drifted through the room. And Hermione, cuddled into Severus' side on the sofa, had to admit that this new tradition had indeed a cosiness she could get used to.

“Mistress got something for Fiercely and Pretty?” the little female elf asked, sitting in the middle of the room with wide excited eyes. Hermione and her mother had been adamant for the little servants to join them, because they were part of the family now which meant that they were supposed to join the celebrations as well. 

“Of course I did,” Hermione said, smiling encouragingly. “Don’t worry. Those are not clothes. I did some research and I hope that what I got you will make you very happy.”

Pretty nodded shyly, before she tentatively unwrapped her first gift. “A book?” she asked a little uncertainly, and Hermione nodded.

“It is a cook book. I collected all of my favourite recipes, as well as everything my mum has in her repertoire. There are also some very exotic recipes from all over the world, which might be very interesting to prepare. Those are Muggle recipes, so they might differ from the stuff you know. But I thought it would give you some inspiration,” Hermione said, and added, kindly, “and help you to serve me even better.”

Pretty looked at her with a gasp, tiny tears forming in her eyes. “Mistress is so very generous,” she cooed, hugging the elf-sized book like a beloved stuffed animal. 

“I made a copy for each of you,” Hermione explained to Fiercely. “This way you will not have to share. I also got you something else,” she said slightly hesitantly and motioned towards another pair of small, flat packages under the Christmas tree. 

Fiercely levitated the two wrapped gifts towards them and opened his green one warily. Inside was a photograph her dad had secretly taken of the three of them, as Hermione had interviewed her elves about some more house-elf customs. It wasn’t a great shot, as none of them looked into the camera and it was just a normal muggle picture, but she thought the two of them might still appreciate it as a memory of their holidays together. She explained her thoughts to them, their eyes growing even larger with every sentence she finished. She had barely finished her reasoning, when Pretty suddenly leapt towards her, hugging her waist with a sob of gratitude. 

“Mistress is so very thoughtful,” she sobbed, big tears dripping into Hermione’s lap. “Pretty is so very happy to have been chosen to serve young mistress Hermione. Pretty wishes the mistress would keep her forever!”

Hermione helplessly looked at her parents and then at Severus, who looked back at her with an amused smile and a strange glint in his eyes. “I’d love to keep you,” she mumbled. “But as far as I know you are still Hogwarts elves and bound to the castle.”

Fiercely nodded grimly. He usually did not say much, but Hermione could tell that he too disliked the idea of remaining at the castle, as much as Pretty did. 

“I could buy the two of them as an engagement present for you, Hermione,” Severus stated calmly and Hermione could see the elves gasp in surprise, their eyes widening with hope. For a moment she was completely speechless, the possibility of owning not one but two house-elves completely blowing her mind. But then she became aware of the pleading and hopeful looks the two of them sent towards her and she felt her heart skip at the possibility of being able to keep Pretty and Fiercely. Because if she was honest with herself, the two of them had indeed already become family to her. 

Slowly she turned towards Severus. “Would you really do that? House-elves are quite expensive, are they not?” 

Her fiancé smiled fondly at her. “Do not worry about it. The money is not a problem at all. So? Do you want me to ask the Headmaster?”

Hermione bit her lip but a moment later she nodded. “Please do. I really would love it if they joined our family for real, not just a borrowed servant. I want them to be ours, not just mine.” With that she turned towards the elves. “That is, if you would agree to bind yourself to the Snape family in the future, knowing that we are not a pureblood family.”

“It would be an honour for Fiercely to be bound to the Snapes,” her male servant replied, bowing deeply, and Pretty enthusiastically repeated his words. 

Severus nodded. “So be it then. I will write to the Headmaster tomorrow.”

His words were followed by a squeal from Pretty and, interestingly, Hermione’s mother, who looked at Severus but didn’t say anything.. Hermione thought that he had just completely won her mother over, as there was suddenly a softness in her eyes that had not been there a moment ago. And Hermione understood, because she too had started to love Severus a little more for what he just did.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus was just about to ready himself for bed, when an otter Patronus suddenly burst through the wall, playfully swimming through the air in front of him. There was only one person this could be from, he thought, the thought being confirmed when the little creature addressed him in Hermione’s voice a moment later. 

“Severus, I was wondering… would you mind if I joined you in bed tonight?” it said, the nervousness in Hermione’s voice clearly shining through. “We have not spoken about this, but I wondered…” with that the message broke off, the Patronus disappearing before his eyes. 

Severus sighed. He could almost see how Hermione had been nervously biting her lip when sending that message to him, the picture of it making him smile fondly. It was natural that she was nervous now, not knowing what to expect from their official change of status. He sighed. He could of course send his own Patronus back, but he figured it would be much better to talk to her in person about this. 

It was only minutes later that his raven form landed on her windowsill, his beak softly knocking against the glass of her window. He did not have to wait long for Hermione to let him in, her body already clad in the soft pair of tartan pyjamas he had seen her wear before. 

“Severus,” she said, her eyes raking over his bird form with a questioning gaze. He turned back as soon as he had reached the middle of the room and watched her ward the door. 

“I felt like I should answer your message in person,” he explained, “because I think it is important that we’re on the same page here.”

Hermione nodded, smiling at him shyly. “You are right. So what should we do? Would you like me to…”

He gently shook his head and Hemione immediately fell silent, her brown eyes staring at him uncertainly. “This is not about what I want, Hermione. This is about what  _ we _ want. And right now I want you to be the one to set the pace. Please know that this engagement does not oblige you to do anything. I will be for you whatever you want me to be, Hermione. So tell me: what is it that  _ you _ want?” he asked, his voice deep while he took a step towards her, his black eyes focussing on her.

He saw her swallow, her bottom lip disappearing between her teeth as she considered his question. Finally she said: “Would you mind if we slept in the same bed? I’d really love to snuggle into you while falling asleep, you know?”

Severus smiled at her. “I would not mind at all, Hermione. Shall I stay here, with you?” 

Hermione nodded. “I would like that.”

With that she padded towards her bed and buried herself under her covers. Severus enlarged them with a quick gesture of his wand and transfigured his clothes into comfortable pyjamas before he climbed onto the mattress from the other side of the bed. Immediately Hermione moved closer and with a sigh she buried her head on his shoulder. 

“Can we from now on always fall asleep in the same bed?” she asked him a moment later, her hand gently gripping the silky fabric of his pyjama top. 

“Well, assuming Dumbledore agrees to our plan, I will no longer be your Professor after the holidays, and as we are already engaged, I do not see a reason against it. I would prefer staying in my quarters, though. Would that be all right with you?” he asked.

Hermione nodded. “That would be perfect. Merlin, I cannot believe I am finally allowed to do this. Today really is the best Christmas of my life and this is the best present.”

Severus chuckled. “Not the pair of Christmas-themed socks your father got you?” he asked with a grin and Hermione chuckled. It was such a beautiful sound that he too started to laugh a moment later, the stress and tension from the last months slowly fading away. 

His mate looked at him in mock consideration. “Well, now that you are mentioning those socks, they really were beautiful,” she said, her eyes shining with mirth. “So you liked the ones my parents got for you? The ones with the reindeer on them?” 

He had never seen her so happy and carefree, but he guessed the same was also true the other way around. She really brought out the best in him, he realized.

“No. Those were terrible,” he answered honestly. “But I don’t mind. I got myself a beautiful fiancée for Christmas, the best present ever.” He looked at her with shining eyes and her smile told him everything he needed to know. “I intend to keep you, you know that, right?” he said and was rewarded with a sweet, gentle kiss from her.

Then she snuggled back onto his shoulder, one of her arms hugging his chest. “Please do,” she murmured and he tenderly kissed her forehead as an answer. Not long after she was asleep and Severus allowed himself to enjoy the soft feeling of her hair and her body a moment longer. He could not remember when he’d ever been so happy in his life and an incredulous part of his brain could not help but ask if the momentary bliss would last, or how long it would take until the dark clouds caught up with them. Severus hastily shooed those thoughts away. Today he would just allow himself to be happy for once. It was Christmas, after all. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	68. Of stubborn females

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kind words. Let’s enjoy some more fluff, before I’m starting to throw angst at you, shall we?
> 
> Justsare was kind enough to beta for me again. I adore her, in case you’re wondering. 

Waking up in Severus’ arms, snuggled into his chest, was the best way to start a morning, Hermione found when she opened her eyes the next morning. Severus was already awake, his eyes focussed on her face as he lay perfectly still, probably doing his best not to wake her.

“Good morning, my love,” he greeted her as soon as their eyes met and the term of endearment was enough to make her heart speed up in excitement.

“Good morning, Severus,” she answered with a lazy smile. “I hope you did not have to wait too long for me to wake up.”

He shook his head with an amused smile. “Not nearly long enough for me to want to get up. I could lie here like this for hours, holding you and looking at you without getting tired of it.”

Hermione smiled knowingly. “Then let’s stay like this for a while longer. I’m sure today will be a busy day with my parents inviting their new German friends for lunch. I want you all for myself for a while longer,” Hermione admitted and was rewarded with a kiss, as Severus suddenly rolled to his side and pulled her close. She let out a little squeak of surprise but then she got lost in the feeling of his lips and his lean body that was pressing against her. Kissing Severus in bed was different because not only she could feel his body way better through the thin fabric of those pyjamas, it also felt way more intimate than everything she had known until now. Yes, he had told her that she would be the one setting the pace in their relationship, but only the knowledge of what such a kiss could potentially lead to, made her heart thump in excitement. But it also made her feel their age gap for once, because Severus obviously had some kind of experience with… women… while she had never gone farther than kissing. 

Somehow her thoughts must have mirrored in her body language, because suddenly Severus ended the kiss and pulled away, his almost black eyes studying her in concentration. 

“I frightened you,” he said calmly. “Forgive me. Sometimes I forget…”

Hermione shook her head in determination. “I am not frightened. It is more that today I am out of my depth. I mean I know the mechanics of…”

“Stop,” Severus said, cupped her cheek with his palm and kissed her softly. “We will cross that bridge when we come to it and we will do that together. Do not expect me to be overly experienced, Hermione. We will figure this out together, as we will figure out everything else. But not today…” 

Hermione nodded. “Okay. Sorry. I did not expect you to…” she helplessly gestured through the air. “I just could not help but get a bit distracted with you kissing me like this.”

“Like what?” Severus asked her, his mouth slowly coming closer until it was only centimetres away from her. 

Hermione swallowed heavily. “Like you desire me.”

Severus laughed and a moment later his lips closed the distance that was left between them, his mouth ravishing her until she felt dizzy and was gasping for air. “Oh, I do desire you,” he said huskily. “But that does not mean that I can not hold back until you are ready, my love. I am not a wild animal.”

She looked at him tenderly. “I love it when you call me that - your love.”

At that, the man next to her smiled. “It is what you are: my love, my heart.” The simplicity with which he said that made her heart skip a beat. 

“I love you, too, Severus. You are making me very happy.” 

“Good,” he said, his hand stroking one of the curls behind her ear. “I intend to keep it that way.” It surprised her to see him this openly affectionate all of a sudden, when all he had done those last days and weeks was holding back. But she sure as hell was not complaining. 

“Do you know what would make me very happy right now?” she asked, her face breaking out into a smile. “If you kissed me again… like you did before.”

“Like that?” he asked and pulled her close, his strong arms pressing her against his muscular chest while his mouth made her forget that it was probably time for them to get up, or that a few days ago she had been worried that she did not know how to kiss in the first place. Now there was just her and Severus and those intoxicating kisses. And it was brilliant.

Ssssssss

It was in the evening that Severus and Hermione sat down in the winter garden to discuss the matter of her future education. They had already agreed that she would need to drop out of his class to be able to be with him and not compromise her reputation, but she had also agreed that getting an education in Defense Against the Dark Arts would be important for her in the future. Therefore the most logical compromise was for her to take lessons from a private tutor, one that he would be paying, as it was written in their betrothal contract. The question was only who to hire for the position. 

“What about Mad-Eye Moody?” He said as they had sat down in the comfortable armchairs. “He is a competent instructor, even if he is somewhat rough around the edges. But he will teach you all you need to know and more,” he explained and saw Hermione nod.

“I know. I was also thinking of him. But there might also be someone else…” she said hesitantly and he could detect the hint of nervousness from her voice. 

“Who? Tonks?” he asked, thinking that maybe she would prefer a female instructor. But she shook her head.

“No, not her. Even though she might be easier to convince than Professor Moody. I was actually thinking of Remus Lupin,” Hermione admitted and suddenly he understood why she was nervous about making  _ that _ particular suggestion. 

“Ah,” he said, aware that his body was stiffening against his will. Somehow thinking of him or the Marauders still made him nervous, even though Lupin had indeed been the most decent of them. But that wasn’t saying much, because Lupin had never bothered to step in when Potter or Black humiliated him, spineless idiot that he was.

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t like him. It is just that... he is a good teacher, you know? And even though I know that it wasn’t really Mad-Eye Moody teaching us in my fourth year, I cannot help but feel unsettled by his presence,” the girl explained to him. And he understood. Lupin had a way of interacting with his students on an eye-to-eye level, that made him seem more approachable to them. And even though the man was not an Auror and Moody would surely be able to teach her more, it did not rule Lupin out as a candidate. Especially as he had shaken hands with the man a few months ago and Lupin had told him that he owed him for brewing the Wolfsbane for him.

Severus sighed. “I understand your reasoning, Hermione. He is a competent teacher and my only concern is that he could be prejudiced against me and our… connection. You would have to explain to him why you intend to take private lessons.”

Hermione nodded. “I know. I will explain it to him. Do not worry about it. People will soon know anyway, because I do not plan on keeping our engagement a secret. I am proud that you have chosen me, Severus.”

It was beyond him how she could feel this blessed and happy by being with him, but Severus would surely not question her. “Lupin it is, then. We should talk to him as soon as possible.”

“Really? You will hire him?” Hermione asked, her voice full of happy disbelief. 

Severus shrugged. “I am sure he will appreciate the income and the chance of having such a motivated student,” he said dryly and the woman across from him nodded. She didn’t even criticise him for his first remark, but instead, she beamed at him before getting up to pull him into a hug.

“Thank you,” she murmured, pressing her curly head against his chest. Severus could not help but smile. He had told her that he would try to make her happy whenever he could, and he had meant it. Especially when his actions were rewarded in such an enthusiastic way.

Ssssssss

Remus Lupin mostly kept to himself these days, his hut in the forest being his home and retreat from other witches and wizards, especially from a certain young, female Auror that simply  _ would not leave him alone _ . It was hard enough for him to stay away from her as it was, without her constantly seeking him out and challenging his beliefs. Because no matter what Dora told him, they could  _ not _ be with each other, not with him being so much older - and a werewolf to boot. 

Therefore he had retreated to his father’s old hut in the forest, the place where no one would be able to find him. Or so he thought.

Because suddenly a tiny, female house-elf appeared in the middle of the room and Remus could not help but stare at the creature in disbelief.

“Mistress Hermione sends Pretty with a message, Sir,” it squeaked, lilac eyes studying him, full of interest. This was not a pureblood’s elf, he thought, before he remembered the name the female had just told him.

“Mistress Hermione? Are you referring to Hermione Granger, elf? Because I do not know any other person with that name,” Remus said carefully.

The house-elf nodded. “That is the one, Sir. Will you take the letter? It is an invitation. Pretty is supposed to wait and take you to her parents’ house right away, if you agree to see her.”

That house-elf was a cheeky one. The ones he had met so far would never have addressed him with so much confidence. But if that elf was truly Hermione’s (which was hard enough to believe), he probably should not be too surprised about the creature’s behaviour.

He took the scroll of parchment curiously and opened the ribbon his former student had carefully tied around it. The letter inside was indeed from Hermione, as he would have known her neat writing anywhere.

_ Dear Professor Lupin, _

_ Happy Christmas. I hope this letter finds you well. _

_ I am writing because I would like to discuss a business proposal with you. For reasons I would prefer to explain to you in person, I am forced to retreat from DADA classes, but I am still most eager to finish my NEWTs in the subject. Therefore I am looking for a private tutor that would be willing to teach me twice a week. _

_ You have been by far my favourite in the subject and therefore I would love it, if you would agree to teach me. _

__

_ The matter of your salary is better discussed in person; that is, if you are interested in being my Professor again. _

_ No matter what your answer on the matter is, my parents and I would like to invite you to join us for lunch today. All you need to do is to come with my elf. _

_ Pretty is very competent at taking passengers along with her. She will directly bring you to my parents’ house to meet with us. _

__

_ In the hope of seeing you soon, _

_ Yours, _

__

_ Hermione Jean Granger _

Remus had to re-read the letter twice to finally digest its content. Hermione wanted to drop out of Defence? Why? She was the brightest student he had ever known (including himself) and he had never had the impression that she’d had a problem with a particular Professor. Was it possible that Snape had finally overdone it? Or was there something else behind that decision?

“Will Professor Lupin accompany Pretty to see young Mistress Hermione, Sir?” the blonde elf interrupted his thought process and Remus looked up in surprise. He had totally forgotten the little elf was still there.

The decision wasn’t a difficult one, really. It was not like he could be picky when he was offered a job these days. There was barely enough food in the house to bring him through the next week and there was only so much food available from the forest in winter. Whatever amount of money Hermione would be willing to pay for his services, he would be forced to accept it – or crawl back to Dumbledore, or worse, to Molly, who was barely able to scrape together enough money to sustain her own large family.

“I will come with you,” Remus agreed and nodded with a sigh. “I only need a moment to clean myself up a little. It is not like I can step into Miss Granger’s living room like this .”

He motioned to his unshowered body and stained clothes. 

The elf looked at him critically. “Pretty will wait,” she finally said, her eyes already scanning the room. “Go and get yourself cleaned up. Pretty will pass the time by cleaning your kitchen.” 

Remus wanted to protest, but the cheeky creature did not even take notice of him any longer. It had already started to levitate the first dirty pans towards the sink, lilac eyes shining with determination. 

That elf was really something else entirely, he thought before retreating to the room upstairs. He could not wait to ask Hermione where she had found that one and what possessed her to hire it, let alone bind herself to it.

Ssssssss

Half an hour and a spotless kitchen later, Remus landed in the middle of a gigantic living room, countless lights from various Christmas decorations momentarily blinding his sight. He had no idea where he was, but he was pretty sure he had left the country, as the apparition had been a long one and the mountains that were visible outside did not look remotely British. Huh. 

“Professor Lupin!” 

The voice enthusiastically greeting him was unmistakably Hermione Granger’s, though, and the man and woman behind her were definitely her parents, as the similarities between the three of them were pretty obvious. But the person standing in the back of the room was definitely  _ not _ a Granger; Remus would have known the broody, dark figure anywhere. But considering the purpose of his invitation, Severus Snape’s presence was maybe not as surprising as he had first thought. 

Remus schooled his face into a neutral expression. “Ah, Miss Granger. And this must be your parents. Mrs Granger, Mr Granger, thank you for inviting me to join you for lunch. Severus.” He sent his former colleague a nod. 

The following minutes could only be described as awkward, as all the Grangers were most eager to see him, while Snape held himself in the back, eyeing him with something almost like amused interest. Remus had no idea what the man was doing here, but he seemed to be on friendly terms with the family, and strangely enough the house-elf, who treated him with something like reverence. But that could not be right, or could it?

He was quickly ushered towards the dining table that was piled with rich food, that would have been enough to feed the whole Weasley clan. And it wasn’t just them eating, as not one but two house-elves had joined them, sitting at the middle of the table, eating from tiny plates and drinking from tiny cups. And from there on things got even stranger. It was not long until Hermione told him the reason for her need for a private tutor, Severus sitting at her left with a neutral expression, chewing his beef like he did not have a care in the world. The same was true for the girl’s parents, who listened to their daughter's explanation with an almost proud smile and Lupin could not help but think that someone was either playing a very cruel game with him, or that the Grangers and maybe even Severus must have been confunded. Because this simply could not be right. 

“You are telling me that you are engaged to Professor Snape,” Lupin repeated slowly while carefully studying her face to look for any sign of outward influence. 

“That is right. We got the permission from my parents a few days ago and got engaged the day before yesterday. It is the only way for us to legally be with each other, you see? And waiting until after I have finished my NEWTs was not something we wanted to do, not in times like these,” the girl explained, and to some extent, he understood. Yes, these were crazy times, and the last time You-Know-Who had started to prepare for the fight, people had started marrying and building families like there was no tomorrow - and for some of them, like Lily, James, Alice, and Frank, there was indeed not. 

Lupin nodded, but inside, his feelings revolted. He could not be silent on the matter, not if their fate was so similar to his and Dora’s. Could they not see that they were making a mistake? “But… I mean no offense but… he is old enough to be your father, is he not? How can any of you be so calm about this?” 

For a moment he felt the atmosphere in the room shift and he could have sworn that he saw Severus stiffen, but much to his surprise, the man did not say a word. Instead it was Hermione’s mother answering his question. 

“Why would we not? Those two are obviously completely smitten with each other and after getting to know Severus, we could not wish for a better husband for our daughter. Apart from that, we were told the age difference is not an issue, as wizards can prolong their lifespan through potions and magic,” the woman said, her chin raised proudly. 

Remus nodded, suddenly lost for words. They were serious, all of them, even Severus, whom he had not expected to fall for another woman after Lily. But as Remus’ eyes fell on the man’s hand, which inconspicuously held Hermione’s under the table, he had to realize that he was wrong. Severus Snape had indeed warmed to another, and contrary to him, the former Slytherin had given in, probably against his better judgement. And Remus did not know if he should pity or envy him. 

“That is indeed true,” he found himself admitting with a polite smile. “There probably is no worthier man for your daughter than Severus Snape. And potions are able to achieve the most remarkable things, as I have learned myself.”

Hermione’s parents nodded with a kind smile. “Indeed,” her father said, smiling proudly. “Now Professor Lupin. What are you saying? Are you willing to teach our Hermione how to defend herself?”

“It would be my pleasure,” Remus said politely, because really there was nothing else he could say. 

Mr Granger nodded. “Good. Then it is time for you to discuss the details now. My wife and I will leave the three of you to it, then, as business is best discussed between the people involved in it.”

Remus looked at the man in surprise. “Will you not be the one paying me then? I assumed…”

That was when he became aware of Severus’ look. “No, Lupin. I’ll be the one paying you,” he said calmly, even though his eyes were glinting suspiciously. “Do not worry. You will be rewarded most generously.”

Ssssssss

In the end it was only Severus and Remus left in the room, as Hermione had joined her parents, after the details of his contract had been discussed. Severus had been right. He had been most generous towards him. Not only had he agreed to supply him with a monthly dose of Wolfsbane, but he also paid him more than the few hours of work warranted and Remus had no idea why. 

“Thank you, Severus, for thinking of me when looking for a suitable instructor,” he said, and offered the man his hand. 

“Don’t thank me, thank Hermione. She convinced me to hire you instead of Moody. He would have been my first choice for her, but she was determined to ask you,” the former Slytherin said with a crooked smile. 

Remus nodded. “I understand.”

But Severus shook his head. “I do not think you do. I love her, but I was about to throw my happiness away - first by trying to convince myself that I was not worth her, later by telling myself that we would have to wait. Luckily for both of us, Hermione is a very stubborn witch that knows what she wants. She convinced me that I too deserve some happiness in my miserable life... and I think she would say the same about you.”

Suddenly the man’s hand was on Remus' shoulder. He looked at him with a confused smile. “Are we still talking about Hermione wanting me as her Professor?” Remus asked, but Severus had already turned away from him. 

“Go home, Lupin. And I am not referring to the shed you’re using to vegetate in. Hermione is right, you know? No one knows how much time any of us has left. You and I know she is right,” he said, before he stepped out of the kitchen, leaving Remus alone. For a moment he mulled over his words and about everything he had just learned. Then, suddenly, he knew what to do. 

Ssssssss

  
  



	69. Dead inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: Torture, violence, rape, self-harm. 
> 
> This chapter was betaed by Justsare. Thank you for your help, my friend!

Christmas had always been Draco’s favourite time of the year, but this year the holidays marked a new low in his now miserable life. And with how his summer had gone, that was really saying something. 

His parents’ home had degenerated to a dirty kind of robber’s den, the house-elves too afraid to enter some of the rooms at all. Therefore there were dark bloodstains on the carpet of his father’s study and the room his aunt Bella lived in could barely even be called a room at all. Not to mention the basement that he had not dared to set a foot into, either. 

With his father still in Azkaban, his mother was reduced to a helpless background actor in her own house. She still held herself with some grace, but one could barely hear her speak these days, as she had no influence left whatsoever and their house guests only listened to the Dark Lord. The man had taken over their household as if it belonged to him in the first place. 

As a conclusion, the already questionable Christmas festivities were crowned by a Death Eater raid that had them blast into a Muggle church, interrupting the service that had been in full swing. Within minutes a horde of black-clothed, masked Death Eaters was raping, torturing, and killing; the Dark Lord’s red eyes watching them with a chilling, cold glow in them. There was no saying how long it would take until his followers’ blood lust was satisfied and they could finally go home. Somehow Draco had the sickening impression that it would be a long night.

“It is time that those dirty Muggles learn their place in society!” his aunt crowed, before the sickening sound of breaking bones and screaming people drowned her voice. Draco closed his eyes, unsure how much more of this he could take, until he would pass out or lose his meagre dinner right on aunt Bella’s shoes. The day was a fucking nightmare and it was about to get worse.

“Now, young Draco. It is time for you to become a real Death Eater, my boy,” the cold voice of Lord Voldemort suddenly said right behind him and Draco could feel his blood turn to ice. “You have taken my vows some months ago, yes you have, but until now those have been  _ just words _ . It is time for you to learn what it means to be a Death Eater, because we chose this name for a reason, have we not?”

His words were followed by murmurs of approval and even some shouts of agreement from various Death Eaters throughout the room and for a moment Draco closed his eyes in dismay. He had known that it was only a matter of time until the snake-faced man was no longer satisfied with him just watching, as he was supposed to  _ learn _ and mature if he ever wanted to fill out his father’s footsteps. 

He nodded, his mask hiding the expression on his face from anyone else in the room. It was his luck because even though his godfather had taught him some Occlumency, it would not have been enough to hide the revulsion that was written on his face. 

“Yes, my lord,” he said, his voice sounding much calmer than he felt. “What do you want me to do?” 

His master’s eyes coldly swept through the room, until they landed on a black-haired woman on the floor, who was about his mother’s age.

“Crucio her,” the Dark Lord ordered coldly and to his left he could hear his mad aunt laugh in excitement.

“Little Draco is finally going to be made a man tonight!” she singsonged in a baby-voice, that made the hair in his neck stand up. “Do you want me to show you how it is done?”

“No, Bella. Draco will do this himself. He will need to prove himself worthy, if he ever wants to fill his father’s footsteps,” their master chastised her, his voice strict but still sounding like he was scolding his favourite pet. But Draco guessed that’s what his aunt was to him.

He guessed he should have considered himself lucky, when his master asked him to crucio her, because from the corner of his eye he could see Dolohov and Goyle already starting to unbutton their robes in preparation for more… primal forms of torture, which would surely follow soon. And Draco was pretty sure that he would not have been able to satisfy  _ that _ kind of expectation. 

Still, casting a Crucio was bad enough, as he really had to mean the curse. And how could he want to torture a woman, who could easily have been his mother? She probably had a son or daughter somewhere here as well… But there was nothing for it. There was  _ this _ or being tortured here himself - or worse, his mother - and when it came to her, Draco always knew how he would choose. Luckily, he had practised the spell on various spiders and beetles already and therefore he knew how to do it. But first, he had to harden his heart for what was to come.

“As you wish, my Lord,” he heard himself saying while he took his position in front of the pleading woman. His ears were deaf to her cries for mercy, deaf to the cries around him or his aunt’s words of encouragement. 

“She is barely more than an animal anyway.”

The unforgivable curse left his lips way too easily, but Draco quickly had to learn that casting the curse was the easiest part. Holding it up while his victim was screaming and thrashing on the floor was way more difficult. He was pretty sure he would never be the same after tonight, as his soul felt like part of him had died after performing an act as despicable as this one. And maybe that was what aunt Bella had meant when saying they would make a man out of him… he was a man now, a dead man, as his insides barely felt alive any longer. 

Many hours later, Draco sank down in the bathroom that was attached to his room. He barely made it to the toilet, before his stomach violently emptied itself into the toilet bowl, his body shaking and breaking out into a cold sweat. He could still smell the blood, as its metallic scent had filled the room not long after he had gotten his own hands dirty. His new shoes, which he had just gotten for Christmas from his mother, were still splattered with it, the black leather still soaked with the red, sticky liquid that almost made him sure his socks would be stained red when he removed his shoes. He was determined to never wear them again, even if the house-elven managed to clean them again. But he would still know about the blood once saturating them, the blood that he had spilt. 

It took minutes until he had emptied his stomach and was no longer dry heaving into the toilet. But when his stomach finally calmed down, he crawled towards the shower, where he hurriedly yanked his clothes off. For a moment he even considered vanishing them, but after it had performed such cruel magic, he did not feel like touching his wand anytime soon. 

Therefore it took a while until he could finally soak his body and wash the grime and the smell away, because he felt like it was clinging to him, unwilling to leave him like the numb feeling that had taken hold of his chest. No matter how hot he turned the water and how much he scrubbed his skin, he could still smell the blood on his skin, still see the few specks that had sprinkled on his hand sometime through the evening. Even when his skin was already red and swollen the patches of blood were still there, or so he thought.

Gods, the blood would never go away again, would always taint him like the ugly black marking on his left arm already did. He would never be free again, would he? But how was he ever supposed to follow in his father’s footsteps, if he already felt like he could no longer take it after one single evening? He felt so sick of himself. And after crucioing a woman, who could easily have been his own mother, while his evil aunt crowed into his ear, Draco was pretty sure that he could  _ never _ be like his father, because he realized that he did not  _ want _ to. There was no glory in torturing helpless creatures and there was definitely no satisfaction when that evil bastard praised his bravery afterwards, touching his shoulder with his bony, white hand. The only thing Draco felt in that moment was revulsion - for himself, and even more, for the man in front of him that had ordered him to do such despicable things. Such feelings, should they ever be discovered, would mean his early grave and his mother’s as well - if the man was merciful. And oftentimes he was not.

After the last several months, he was painfully aware that praise from the Dark Lord was only a fleeting thing. It would not save you from his anger days or even moments later, nor would it save those dearest to you. His father and also his mother had learned this the hard way when they fell from the Dark Lord’s graces due to his father’s mistake, even though they had dutifully served the man for years. 

Draco was pretty sure his family would continue to pay the price for his father’s mistake, no matter what he did. Even if he somehow managed to fulfil the impossible task he had been given, that would only mean a momentary reprieve for him and his mother, if his sacrifice would be worth even that much. 

It was a hopeless situation, because with his father gone, the protection of his family fell to him. Only he was not fit to protect  _ anyone _ , not even himself. Draco was no devoted Death Eater, this much was obvious now, and staying on that path would only mean that he would sooner or later disappoint his master because he was unable to do as he was asked or his true feelings would be discovered. Because even though his uncle Sev had taught him some Occlumency, it would not be nearly enough to hide his fear and disgust forever.

Therefore there was only one way out for him, even though that would probably mean he would have to abandon his mother. He would not do so if it could be helped, but he desperately needed help if he wanted to make it out of this nightmare alive and sane. Because as things appeared, it would be his duty to uphold the Malfoy name. He was the Malfoy heir and ever since he was old enough to understand he had been told that it was his duty to continue the family line and ensure his family’s position in the wizarding society. 

He could not do so at the Dark Lord’s side, not only because his family had no reputation left with him, to begin with. Lord Voldemort wanted to rule the country alone and what would be left of it afterwards could be guessed when looking at the left-overs of the Malfoy family home. Britain would be in ruins, its people dead or cowering before a barely sane man with an anger-management problem. It was not a world he wanted to raise his children in - or a world he wanted to see for himself. 

Therefore he needed to prevent that world from existing in the first place, even though he did not have any idea how to do that. Luckily he knew a man who did, a man who had offered him his help months ago. Back then Draco had not trusted him, been too disappointed by the fact that Severus Snape had seemingly turned his back on him and his family. But now he realized that it had been the only way that his godfather had understood what was necessary if they still wanted a future worth living in. He had turned his back on the Dark Lord and lived, and maybe he could help Draco to do the same. That was if Draco could convince his godfather that he was worth it and that he could trust him.

  
  


Sssssss

  
  


“I’m proud of you,” Hermione murmured into his chest, as soon as she had crawled into bed next to him, seeking him out like her cat did whenever he found him somewhere. Severus welcomed her with open arms and a smile, his fingers finding her hair on their own, nimbly studying the soft texture of her wild curls. 

“Are you, witch?” he asked, looking at her with an amused smile. “I served a maniac for almost two decades. I am used to biting my tongue.”

The woman in his arms shook her head. “That is not what you did, Severus, and you know it. It was one thing not to insult Professor Lupin, but we both know that you did more than that. You did not have to offer him the Wolfsbane, or even half the salary you did.”

He shrugged wordlessly.

“You might still deny it, but you are a good man, Severus Snape,” the little witch said, her index finger pointing at his chest, while her pretty brown eyes looked at him with so much love, that he felt like he was melting from the inside. She had no idea what he had done or that there had been days and weeks where he had felt completely numb inside, unable to feel a single thing. Back then he had been sure that something inside him had died, been irreparably broken, but now he knew he had been wrong. A damaged soul could not feel as much love as he did right now, or forgiveness as he had granted today. 

“That is because you make me a better person, Hermione,” he explained and following his instinct he kissed her. He would probably never get used to the softness of her body, or the happy sigh she made shortly before their lips met. He would never take her for granted, but do his best to deserve her, because he was secretly aware that he did not. How could a man as dark and damaged as himself ever deserve a woman as pure and good as her? The truth was that he could not, and still Hermione was his, bound to him not only by a contract, but also her love and their magic. And who was he to refute any of it?

“I know you have a soft spot for the werewolf,” he murmured in between kisses, while he shifted until he was lying on top of her. “And I do have a soft spot for you, Hermione.”

The witch below him giggled, her tiny hands cupping his face before she kissed him with a wide, happy smile. It was answer enough for him, as was her increasingly heavy breathing as he deepened their kiss. Gods, how many more days until they would be back to the castle, leaving her parents’ house? He wanted to take her to his own bed and continue where he forced himself to break off now, even though she seemed eager for more. But taking her here in her childhood bed felt wrong; he did not want to take her virginity while her parents were in the house, possibly listening in on their coupling. No. He would wait, before he carefully tested the waters and fulfilled the desire that he could already read in the girl’s eyes. Because one thing he could tell: Hermione wanted him, even though she was unsure of how to communicate it. But he did not need to be a Legillimens to smell her arousal or see the looks she was bestowing on his chest or other regions of his body. She wanted him and Merlin, he wanted her back.

  
  
  



	70. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has kindly been betaed by my friend Justsare.

Chapter 70: Scars

  
  


Hermione left her parents’ house with a mixture of feelings. During those last days, she had learned to appreciate them on a whole new level; their treatment of Severus and their acceptance showing her a different side of them that made her realize that she could trust them to understand her and her decisions. Still, it also felt good to be back at the castle, away from her parents’ studying eyes and the knowing smiles on their lips. 

“Look, Wonwon got me a necklace. Isn’t it pretty?” Lavender’s voice crooned across the dinner table in the Great Hall and Hermione realized that there were some people she had not missed at all. Lavender showing off her new piece of jewellery while Ron was watching out for her reaction was definitely one of them. Merlin, how could this girl even think that the world was only turning around her and  _ Wonwon _ ?

“It’s shaped like a heart, see?” Lavender explained, seemingly unsatisfied with the feedback she got from the other girls around her.    
  


“Yeah, it’s really pretty,” Aurelia Fawley, a fourth-year, said in a tone that Lavender surely did not appreciate. “Is it made out of wood?”    
  


Hermione watched Lavender shaking her head before she tried to tune her out. It was not easy, as the girl was sitting pretty close to her and the conversation on the Gryffindor table seemed to be centred around her. She guessed it was a good thing, as it would distract the others throughout the meal so that no one took notice of the new piece of jewellery on her own finger. That particular secret would get out soon enough, she mused, especially as she would wear the ring with pride.

“Oh, I saw that one in the bargain bin at Treasures and Trinkets! I thought about buying it myself. It’s so cute and bright!” Parvati said, congratulating her friend on her Christmas gift. Hermione sighed. How much longer would she have to sit here, enduring this childish chatter, when all she wanted to do was to retreat to her own room, or better, Severus’?

She tried to focus her attention in another direction, but then her eyes fell on Harry and she realized that he was sitting right next to Ron, his hand clapping him onto the back as if to congratulate him. “Good job, mate. That was a very considerate gift. Your girlfriend seems to love it.”

Hermione could not help it. She stared. It was not because of what Harry had said, but because she realized that the two of them had obviously made up, and no one saw the need to tell her. Hermione sighed. She had always thought that it was only a matter of time until Harry and Ron made friends again, but somehow the realization that she had been left out still hurt.

“It wasn’t like she’d left any doubt on what she wanted for Christmas,” Ron admitted with a wistful smile. “She’s been nagging about it for months…”

It really was no use. She could not come to enjoy this dinner and it wasn’t just because of the conversations going on around her. Somehow her thoughts kept returning to Severus and she asked herself how bad things would get, once their engagement came out. Would Harry even still talk to her? Would Blaise?

Without saying a word, she got up from the table and walked out of the Great Hall. She felt several eyes follow her when she walked down the Gryffindor table and stepped through the massive oak door. No one seemed to follow her though, which was good because she did not feel like talking to anyone right now. For now, she just wanted to be alone and sort out her own feelings and hopefully, she’d get herself together before she visited Severus later. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus had been nervous ever since he had set foot back into the castle, expecting the Headmaster’s floo call or Minerva storming into his office and demanding an explanation for his engagement to Hermione. Nothing happened though and the only visitor he had until dinner was Hermione’s cat, who had somehow found a way into his quarters again, sitting on his sofa as if he was waiting for his mistress to join him. Still, it took some time after dinner until Hermione stumbled out of his floo, her face drawn and tired while she walked towards the sofa with slow steps. 

“You look tired,” he said while getting up from the armchair. “Are you all right?”

Hermione nodded before she changed her direction to walk towards him. It was only moments until she was in his arms, burying her head against his chest with a sigh. “I will be, don’t worry. It’s just been a tiresome day…”

He did not question her, just held her as he slowly felt her relax in his arms. He could relate only too well, but he had the feeling that they would feel better, once they relaxed together on the sofa.

Severus waited for a while, listened to her breathing before he gently guided her towards his seating area, drawing her with him onto the sofa. He positioned himself sideways and his witch immediately understood and climbed in front of him, before her arms came around him, her eyes looking at him lovingly. It was all the encouragement he needed for kissing her, because the time apart from her had been hell and he could feel his body aching for her touch. A tilt of his head was all that was needed for their lips to meet, her mouth opening for him without hesitation. He loved to explore her with his tongue, to taste her sweetness and to listen to the little sounds she made, sounds she probably wasn’t even aware of. 

Severus let his hand wander to her head and rake through her curls before he slowly moved it towards her shoulder and down her back. She leaned into his touch like a cat, her own hands moving to his chest ever so shyly until they came to rest against the buttons of his robe as if they were asking a non-verbal question. He knew she would not go further, as they had been at this point two times already, but as they had still been at her parent’s house he had never encouraged her. 

Now he would give her all the encouragement she needed to do, what they both desired. But he would be careful not to pressure her, or let her see how increasingly difficult it was for him to hold back. Because even though he had assured her that he was not a wild animal, he sometimes felt like one. 

Wordlessly his right hand cupped her hand on his chest before it helped her undo the first button, his actions accompanied by an encouraging smile. Her eyes opened in surprise, blinked before she understood and rewarded him with another eager kiss. Then she started to fumble with his buttons, her nimble fingers undoing them slowly but steadily while his fingers drew lazy circles onto her back, occasionally moving further down a few centimetres. Finally, she had managed to undo his outer robe, her fingers eagerly moving below the thick fabric, only to find another layer of clothes. Still, he could feel her much better now, that their skin was only separated by his shirt and the vest he was wearing below, but it was not nearly enough.

“Do you want me to shrug this off?” he asked and Hermione nodded.

“Would you? I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to…” 

Severus silenced her with an eager kiss. “You’re my fiancée now, Hermione. There is no part of my body you are not allowed to see or touch,” he said, her eyes growing wide at his words. “I do not expect the same liberties in return, do not worry, my love, but I want you to know that I am yours, completely.”

He could see her consider his words, her eyes growing glassy for a moment before she focussed back on him. “And I am yours,” she replied, her cheeks turning pink at the words. He did not comment on it and instead pulled her into another kiss, his hands focussing back on her back before they came to rest on her sides. He let his thumbs carefully brush against her ribs, Hermione moaning into his mouth before her fingers started to fumble with his buttons again. He let her do it, his fingers caressing her petite body through the soft fabric of the tight jumper she chose to wear for the evening. 

Finally, she managed to unbutton his shirt and, breaking their kiss, he shrugged it off together with his robe and let it slide to the floor next to the sofa. Hermione followed the fabric with her eyes before she gripped the hem of her sweater and pulled it over her head. Below she wore a white chemise and a white bra, Severus realized, as his eyes greedily took the sight in. 

“You are beautiful,” he murmured, his fingers gently trailing up her naked arm to her exposed shoulders. He could feel the goosebumps breaking out on her skin at his caress and decided to take it as a sign that she liked his touch. 

Hermione looked back at him with a shy smile. “And you are wearing too many layers,” she replied, her hands carefully untucking his vest from his trousers. She did not pull it over his head, just pushed it up until his belly was exposed, before her petite hands started to explore the naked skin of his chest. It took all his willpower not to groan at her touch, as his body was starved for human contact. It had been far too long for him since he’d had a woman, but he was well aware that he’d have to proceed slowly with his mate, if he did not want to scare her away. 

“Next time I could simply vanish them,” he suggested with a smile, his fingers stroking the soft skin of her neck. “Or I could stop distracting you.”

Hermione laughed. “Don’t you dare, Severus Snape. I love it when you’re distracting me. And it’s not like we’re in a hurry or anything.”

Severus smiled. “That is true. You have the rest of your life to learn how to undo these buttons and to study what’s below.”

Hermione nodded and finally she pushed his vest even higher, exposing his chest. At first she stared at it in silence, her caramel-brown eyes taking in his white skin and the scars that were scattered across his chest. Many of them had faded over the years, but there was no doubt that her attentive eyes noticed them anyway. She did not say a word and strangely there was no revulsion or pity in her face when her fingertips started to trace the healed flesh, as if she was mapping it while caressing him. 

For a while he watched her fascinatedly, his body slowly relaxing as he realized she would not pull back from him in disgust but instead welcomed his old injuries as a part of him. Not that he really  _ expected _ her to be repulsed by those scars, but he had expected some amount of shyness from her, when being confronted with his dark past.

But he had been wrong, as with every passing minute she seemed more fascinated with his skin and before long she had almost crawled onto his lap, leaning on him as she bestowed a soft kiss onto his chest.

“Why didn’t they heal?” she asked contemplatively. “Are those curse scars?”

He shook his head with a smile, his fingers tracing her backbone while slowly wandering towards the hem of her chemise. “No, just regular ones. To be honest, I could have healed them if I’d wanted. But for a long time in my life I was not in a very good place, and I was convinced that I deserved those scars for what I did. Sometimes I still think I do…”

Hermione did not question him, just nodded before bestowing another kiss on the next scar. “I understand,” she murmured, her lips tenderly brushing against his exposed skin. “And I wish I could make it all better. Maybe I will, one day, if I just keep kissing them for long enough.”

He felt her crawl even higher, her knee carefully positioned between his legs, until she was able to reach his chest. He could feel her breath on his skin, then her lips and finally her tongue and he had to bite his tongue to not moan in ecstasy. Merlin, he could already feel his member spring to attention, her innocent caresses enough to tempt him to finally take her, to make her his. 

“Oh, believe me, Hermione. You  _ are _ making this better,” he said, his voice suddenly hoarse. She probably had no idea what she was doing to him. 

“Good,” she mumbled, her eyes looking up at him with a strange glint in them, before she kissed him again, the tip of her tongue touching his skin ever so slightly as she did. This time it was impossible for him to stifle the moan escaping his mouth. 

“You like that?” she asked, her voice full of curiosity.

“I do,” Severus confirmed, his fingers finally slipping below the hem of her chemise, touching the bare skin of her back. “I love what you’re doing with that clever mouth of yours.” 

“Do you now?” she asked, her voice full of amusement. Then he felt her tongue again, as it was running along one of the bigger scars that went across his chest, leaving a cold, wet trail on his skin. This time it was him breaking out in goosebumps and shivers from the arousal slowly building inside his body. 

He let it wash over him while his hands trailed along her back, carefully pushing her chemise up. When she finally noticed what he was doing she stopped and looked at him with a shy smile. “If you’ll get rid of your vest, I’ll get rid of this,” she said and Severus grinned. All it took was a nonverbal spell from him to vanish the two bothersome pieces of fabric and Hermione squeaked in surprise, as the cold air of the dungeons suddenly brushed over her exposed skin. 

“Did you just…” she said, her eyes wide as saucers. 

“Vanish your clothes?” he asked, a crooked smile on his lips.

Hermione shook her head. “No. You just did wandless magic, Severus. I wasn’t aware you could do that…” 

Severus shrugged nonchalantly. “I can do some basic spells. I can teach you one day,” he said, only to be silenced by her lips on his mouth a moment later. Suddenly she was sitting on top of him, straddling him as her lips danced against his and her tongue hungrily entered his mouth. He welcomed her enthusiastically, pulling her close while his fingers moved across her naked back and her sides, enjoying the silky feeling of her skin. 

Finally they brushed against her scar, which was still clearly visible on the pale skin of her chest, and she stilled. 

“What is it,” he asked and looked at her, puzzled. 

Hermione smiled ruefully. “It’s ugly, isn’t it?” she asked, the shyness suddenly back in her eyes. 

Severus shook his head with a smile and following a spontaneous urge, he got up and pushed her backwards, until he was suddenly on top of her. Then he brushed his fingers against her scarred skin, like she had done before and said, “I love that scar, Hermione. It will always remind me of the day your magic pulled me towards you. Who knows what would have happened, if that curse had not hit you.”

He did not wait for an answer from her, before his lips touched the sensitive skin of her side, her body shuddering below him. “I think this will be my favourite spot to kiss from now on,” he promised in between kisses, his tongue mirroring what his witch had done earlier to him. He could tell it aroused her the way it had him, little moans and hisses of pleasure escaping her mouth as her fingers buried themselves in his hair.

He took them in greedily, the sound music to his ears, while he kept kissing her until she shivered below him.

“Are you all right, my love? Was that too much?” he asked as soon as he noticed it, full of worry that he had overstepped a line.

To his relief, Hermione shook her head. “No. I was just a little cold. How about… could we go to your bed instead?”

Severus looked at her for a long moment, his heart dancing in excitement. “Would you feel more comfortable there?” he asked and Hermione answered with a nod. 

“Then come,” he said, his hand gently taking hers and leading her towards his bedroom, the little pile of their clothes on the floor already forgotten. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, my friends. The next chapter will have some smut. You’ll have something to look forward to. 


	71. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the first smut for this story. If that’s not for you, just skip this chapter. You’ll be fine. ;-) 
> 
> Thank you Justsare for betaing this chapter. 

Hermione followed Severus to his bedroom, her knees shaking with anticipation of what was to come. She could have it all if she wanted, the whole package, but she wasn’t sure if she was quite ready for that. Not that she did not want to - Merlin no - but she had no clue on what to do, other than the bare mechanics of the  _ act _ itself. But there had to be more to it than just… doing it. She could only hope that it was the same as with the kissing. Somehow that had worked out pretty well for them, or so she hoped, without her having had any practise before. 

It was a while since she had been to Severus’ bedroom but she thanked her lucky stars that she’d already been there before. Otherwise her nerves would have probably been in tatters, or she would have been too distracted by the enchantment on his bed-ceiling to concentrate on the man himself. 

Severus walked towards his bed with slow steps, his hand holding hers firmly as he led her towards the purple, silky sheets that covered the mattress. He did not pull her onto them though, but stepped in front of his bed, his hand cupping her cheek and his eyes seeking her out as he said: “This will go as far as you want it to, no further. If you want me to stop, I will. All you need to do is to say so, all right?”

She nodded, the words she had wanted to say dying in her mouth as he kissed her a moment later. Those lips were enough to make her forget what she had wanted to say, or that she had been nervous a moment before, as there was suddenly only him and the feeling of his lips caressing her. Who would have guessed, that a tongue as sharp as his could also give so much joy and pleasure?

It was her who pulled him towards the bed in the end, Severus following her guidance willingly without breaking the kiss. Soon he was positioned right on top of her, their bodies warmed by the thick blanket that made her feel less exposed and somehow protected - even though she was aware that she did not need protection in the first place. Severus would never hurt her, after all. 

“Did I ever tell you that I love the feeling of your hair?” Severus whispered into her ear a while later, the warmth of his breath making her shiver. “I love how it feels between my fingers, how it smells,” he murmured, his nose brushing her earlobe before his lips kissed it ever so softly. 

Hermione shuddered and felt herself grip his shoulders even tighter, as she did not know how else to deal with the feelings growing in her chest. She wanted to show him what he did to her, how he made her feel and how much she wanted him, but all she could do was pull him closer, her mouth trying to capture his lips into another urgent kiss. Luckily he seemed to understand, as his kiss grew even more heated while his left hand travelled down her side, his thumb brushing over her ribs and the bra she still wore. 

The feeling of it made her moan into his mouth, her fingers digging into the skin of his back before they too moved downwards, as far as they could reach. 

“Severus, please,” she finally moaned, gasping for air. 

“Please what?” he asked, looking at her with raised brows. “Tell me what you want…”

“I... “ She did not know what to say, only that she liked what he did and wanted more… so much more. But how to communicate that without sounding needy or ridiculous? She bit her lip in nervousness. “This feels so good,” she finally admitted, her cheeks turning pink. “Could we… remove some more clothes?” 

Severus smiled, asking: “Yours or mine?”

“Both?” she asked only to feel his magic wash over her a moment later, ridding them from everything that was not their underpants.

“Better?” he asked, his hands resuming their exploration of her chest and Hermione nodded, before she let her own hands travel down his torso, her thumbs brushing against his nipples ever so carefully. They hardened immediately, Severus eyes focusing on her with an intensity that made her shudder. 

“Much better,” she murmured with a little smile, before she let her fingers travel even further down, until they reached his navel and the thin trail of hair that grew there, disappearing in his underpants. It was only a moment until he mirrored her movement, sitting up between her legs so that he could touch her with both hands. It made it difficult for her to reach him that way but just when she tried to pull herself up, she was distracted by his hands again, which brushed against her hip bones, before they travelled up her sides to her breasts. Just before Severus reached them he halted, his eyes seeking her eyes, asking a silent question. She nodded with hooded eyes, her voice much too shaky to actually say the words. But it was not necessary, as Severus understood and cupped her breasts with his hands a moment later, his fingers brushing against her nipples, making them stand up and tingle in anticipation. 

Hermione could barely stifle the moan coming from her mouth, but when her eyes snapped towards Severus’ face to judge his reaction, she could see him looking at her with a strange glint in his eyes. 

“I love it when you show me what you like, my love,” he answered her unasked question before his hands continued to caress her. “Don’t be afraid of showing me your feelings, it is sexy and it makes this much easier and way more rewarding for me.”

Hermione nodded and from there on she did not hold back, as Severus’ hands made her tingly and achy in all the right places. She was pretty sure she had never felt like this, her whole body tight with tension, like it was about to burst, while she still felt like a helpless pile of goo, unable to give back some of the touches he bestowed on her. 

Finally, she could not take it any longer, her traitorous body quivering with the need to be touched in other places, that were so far left alone by him. Now she wanted to feel him there, wanted to feel his touch and the release that it could bring, but she also wanted to touch him, to make him feel the way she already did. 

It was what finally broke the spell and made her pull herself up, his hands grabbing his hair and pulling him into an urgent kiss. She hoped it would clearly communicate her need and the longing she was feeling, this or her hands that feverishly moved over his chest towards the bulge in his underpants. Somehow she suddenly felt fearless, driven by the need to make him feel at least a fraction of the need that had started to rage for him, and this was the only way she knew how. She touched him through the thin fabric of his undershorts but it was enough to make him moan into her mouth, his erection twitching under her fingers. She took it as a sign that he liked what she was doing and following an instinct she closed her hand around him and moved it ever so carefully. He gasped into her mouth, his fingers cradling her face as he continued their kiss with an intensity that made it hard for her to focus on her hand. But she managed to touch him further, her fingers brushing up and down his member while she was careful not to hurt him. 

“This feels amazing,” he finally murmured, his breath coming in pants as he ended their kiss. “Would you allow me to touch you as well - without these remaining clothes?”

“Yes, that… I would like that very much,” she admitted while biting her lip in anticipation. Severus watched her with his dark eyes, studying her face until he finally nodded and cast another wandless spell, ridding them of the last layer of clothes they had left. Suddenly she was naked, but she suppressed the need to cover herself as she saw his eyes raking over her body. “You are beautiful,” he murmured, as he lay down next to her, pulling the blanket over them as if he had felt her uneasiness. “Absolutely stunning. I could look at you all night and feel totally content without doing anything else. But that’s not what you want right now, is it?”

Hermione shook her head, just as he pulled her close against his chest. “No,” she answered, her voice sounding strangely hoarse.

“Then what is it that you want, Hermione?” he asked while slowly nuzzling her temple. “I need you to say it, my love, because I want to make sure I’m not going too far.” 

She nodded, her face leaning against his lean chest as she answered: “Maybe you could touch me and let me touch you in return? I’m not sure if I’m ready for anything else, but…”

“I understand,” Severus said before he pulled her chin up and kissed her. “Do not worry. I will only touch you with my hands, nothing else. You are allowed to do the same if you feel comfortable doing so.”

“I’d love to try,” she admitted just as she felt his right hand move downwards, travelling over her hipbones towards her thighs. She spread them for him while reaching for his member with her free hand. It felt different than she imagined, the skin of it almost silky and so much softer than she imagined. “I really have no idea what I’m doing,” she admitted just as she felt his fingers brush over the sensitive skin between her legs and her eyes closed to better the sensations of his touch as they flooded over her. 

“There’s not much to do wrong here,” Severus murmured, his lips brushing against her forehead. “Don’t be afraid of hurting me, I’ll tell you if you ever manage to. Sex is not something you can learn once and then you’re set. Everyone is different and likes different things. And I am eager to find out what it is that you like…”

Just like that his fingers moved again, caressing her sensitive skin with slow movements. She found herself whimpering, her legs spreading even further to give him better access. He did not hesitate, his clever fingers gently brushing against her skin, circling her sensitive area, without actually touching her where she most wanted him to. Instead he lazily caressed her everywhere, his fingers gently exploring her skin like he was mapping her, and maybe he was. Hermione used the chance to let her own fingers explore him, not only his length but also the soft curls and the part of his thighs she could reach. Severus encouraged her with soft words whispered into her ear, his nose nuzzling against her temple as his fingers brought her pleasure. And Merlin he was clever about it! When he finally touched her sensitive nub she was already so far gone that it did not take her long to tumble over the edge, her arms coming around his shoulders as she whimpered his name. Severus held her tightly, his hand stroking her ever so gently as the waves of her orgasm washed across her, her body shuddering with pleasure until it finally stilled. 

“That was…” she started but then she did not know what to say. There was hardly a word that could describe how she felt.

“Exquisite,” Severus finished her sentence, his lips tenderly kissing her still open mouth. “Thank you for letting me see you this way, my heart. You are beautiful when you let go.”

Hermione stared at him speechlessly, her heart fluttering at the compliments he so freely gave. Then she realized that she had barely given him anything in return, as she had not been able to concentrate on him while being swept away from that wave of pleasure. But now she was determined to make it up to him, at least a little bit.

“Severus? What about you? I want this to be good for you too. It is just… could you show me how? I’d really like to learn…” she mumbled and could not help but feel awkward. But Severus just smiled at her lovingly, as his hand carefully took hers and guided her towards his erection. She took hold of it and with wonder she realized that he wrapped his hand around hers as well, before he slowly started to move up and down. The pressure he applied was much stronger than she would have dared herself, but she quickly adapted and gripped him tight as she mirrored his movements. 

“Yes, just like that,” he hissed into her ear, his voice deep and hoarse. And suddenly she understood how he had enjoyed watching her before as it was immensely satisfying to see this broody, closed-off man come undone just by her touch, the moans he made being the sweetest sound to her ears. It was not long until his hand left hers and he buried his long fingers into her hair, his mouth feverishly kissing her neck while murmuring words of encouragement. Hermione realized that she loved it, loved how responsive he was and how his body twitched as the ecstasy took hold of him. When he finally came with a loud moan, spilling his warm seed over her hand as his arms pulled her close, Hermione felt more confident than she had before in her life and she decided that she wanted to do this again, and soon. 

It was just a moment until Severus let go of her, his magic vanishing the stickiness on her hand and the bed without him uttering a single word. Then he pulled her against his naked chest, his mouth kissing her forehead as he whispered: “Thank you, my love. Thank you for giving me such wonderful feelings.”

Hermione smiled and bedded her head on his shoulder, her body cuddling into his side. “It’s still hard for me to believe that I am really allowed to do this, to touch you that way and to see this side of you. I love it, Severus, I love you.”

“I am all yours, my heart,” he whispered just as he kissed her hair. “And you can see this side of me as often as we are alone. It is just for you to see.”

Hermione smiled, her heart swelling with love for the man in her arms. “And that makes it all the more precious. I love you, Severus Snape.”

“I know,” he said, his right hand cupping her face when his lips came to meet hers. “And it’s still a total mystery to me that you do. But I decided not to question my luck. For once I’ll allow myself just to be shamelessly happy.”

Hermione smiled against his lips, her heart melting from the sweetness of his words. Her mum was right, he truly was a romantic. “That sounds like a brilliant plan,” she said, just as she cuddled into his chest. “Let’s be shamelessly happy together, you and I.”

Severus nodded into her hair. “You and I, together. I do like the sound of that.”

“Me, too.”


	72. Changed allegiances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Here is the new chapter for you. I am curious what you think about it! 
> 
> The brilliant Justsare betaed it again for me. Thank you, my friend!

Waking up while Hermione’s naked body was cradled against his chest was something Severus never expected to experience. But here he was, a beautiful, young, and very naked witch in his arms, and he could not believe his luck. Last night had been unexpected; her trust and eagerness being a positive surprise. He had been careful to judge her reactions, to take in every little moan and sigh to replay it later in his mind. He truly was a lucky bastard, he realized, that fate and their magic had intervened and pulled such a pure, innocent being towards him, into his arms.    
  


God, how he would love to just keep her there, hiding from the world in his chambers, and let Dumbledore and the others deal with the mess that was Voldemort and his followers. He did not know how much time they would have together until reality came knocking on his door, but Severus decided to make good use of it by giving Hermione many pleasant memories and by securing her place in society in case everything went pear-shaped. 

But those things would have to wait, as they would have to get up soon if they did not want to be late for breakfast. 

“Time to wake up, my love,” he murmured into her ear, before gently kissing her hair. He loved the smell of it, the smell of her, that was most noticeable when he buried his nose in her brown curls. It was his guilty pleasure, but he felt like every breath he took that way made him want to sigh with happiness. 

Hermione stirred in his arms, her eyes blinking open and looking around in confusion for a moment. Then her mind seemed to catch up, her cheeks growing pink as she most likely remembered what they had done last night. Even though Severus loved that blush, he did not want her to feel awkward, not in his presence or because of what they did. But it would probably take time for her to feel more confident with her body and in his presence.

“Did you have a good night?” he asked softly while brushing his fingers against her forehead. 

“I did. Thank you for letting me stay,” she answered, a shy smile gracing her lips. 

“Anytime. I love having you here, in my arms. Unfortunately, we first need to get through the day and whatever it may bring for us,” he said and kissed her naked shoulder before he reluctantly pulled away from her. He needed to get himself together because he had the feeling that this day would be full of challenges and bratty teenagers. And unfortunately, he was rarely wrong concerning such things. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


When Hermione walked into the Great Hall for breakfast, she was unusually late, which made her arrive with the majority of other students. Ron and Harry were already there, sitting side by side again, with Lavender and Ginny on their other sides. She felt a short jolt of sadness at the picture of them, but then again it wasn’t like she had spent that much time with Harry lately, or in the Gryffindor common room in general. Maybe it was what she deserved for focussing most of her attention on Severus and Blaise, as she mused that she too had been a shitty friend to Harry.

With a sigh, she sat down across from them, even though she considered walking to the end of the table and sitting down with the seventh years, but mealtimes were when she used to chat to Harry and Ginny and she decided she would not be driven away by Ron and his annoying girlfriend. 

“Ah, hello Hermione!” Harry greeted her before she had even sat down at the table, Ginny immediately echoing his greeting. 

Hermione nodded towards him and Ginny with a smile. “Harry, Ginny,” she said, her voice completely neutral. “Did you have nice holidays?”

“Yeah, it’s been brilliant!” Harry started, after swallowing a big bite of his breakfast. “We’ve all been at the Burrow and it was so much fun! Fred and George even…” He paused and Hermione realized that Ginny must have kicked his leg under the table, as he looked at her, startled. 

“Anyway,” the female red-head continued for him. “How was the visit with your parents?”

Hermione looked at her friend with a smile and as Harry nodded, she answered: “Beautiful! I had not realized how much I missed them. But after spending the summer together, we grew much closer...” she told them while reaching for the carafe of tea. “And there is nothing more romantic then strolling through a snowy village in the mountains.” She had barely moved her hand, when there was a gasp from Lavender, followed by an excited shriek from Ginny. She did not even have to look at them to know that they had spied her ring, as it had been only a matter of time until they would, with her so openly wearing it. 

“I knew it!” Lavender exclaimed, jumping from her seat and pointing at Hermione. “She’s engaged!”

Hermione closed her eyes for a moment and collected her strength, slowly counting to ten in her mind. She could hear the room around her fall silent before the students around her broke out in agitated whispers. She’d stay cool and collected, Hermione swore to herself. She had known that this was coming, after all. 

Calmly she re-opened her eyes and looked at Lavender with a smile. “Did you?”

“Is it true?” Ron asked, his eyes wide in disbelief. “You’ve gotten engaged to fucking Blaise Zabini? Are you mad?”

“I knew it was him sending her that necklace for her birthday. It had to be coming from a secret admirer,” Lavender muttered, her eyes taking in the details of Hermione’s ring. “And with her ring being so similar to that one in style…” Hermione let her talk and inspect the engagement ring, her hand calmly resting on the table for everybody to see, while she focussed back on Ron.

“Blaise is my  _ friend _ , Ronald. You will  _ not _ insult him like this,” she lectured him sternly. 

“But you know what they’re saying about his mother,” Ron continued, seemingly oblivious to what she had just said. “If you marry him…” 

“Did you not listen?” Lavender interrupted him, her eyes focussing suspiciously on Hermione. “She said he’s just her friend. But that cannot be right. Who else could she be engaged to? Who else would even be interested in her? I thought that thing with her and Victor Krum was long in the past…” she mused and it took all of Hermione’s willpower to keep her temper in check.  Lavender's face was contorted into confused anger as she tried to figure out just  _ how _ Hermione Granger, bookworm  extraordinaire got  betrothed before her. “Could she be pregnant?” Lavender asked meanly as she came to the only logical conclusion in her mind. “I mean, how else would someone like  _ her _ end up engaged.  She's not much to look at.”

“ _ She _ is sitting right here, and no i am not!” she said, just as a hand came to rest on her shoulder. When her head jerked around to see whose it was, Blaise leaned down with an amused smirk. 

“Congratulations, love. I see my help wasn’t needed after all.” He winked at her. 

“Well actually, you did kind of help,” Hermione replied, a smile tugging at her lips. Maybe she would tell him the whole story one day, but only after making sure that Severus would not mind. 

“Wait, you’re not actually engaged,” Ron interrupted them again, his fingers pointing towards the two of them. “Why are you wearing a ring then?”

Hermione did not have time to answer his idiotic question, as Blaise was faster. “I’m sure even an idiot like you can figure that out, Weasley. Want to join me on the Slytherin table, love? I get the feeling you won’t be able to find a minute of peace over here. And as you’re one of us now…”

He looked at her with a wink and a smile and making a sudden decision, Hermione got up from her seat. “That would be lovely, thank you, Blaise.” She nodded towards Harry (who looked at her, stunned) and Ginny (who looked at her with a wide happy smile). “I’ll see you later then.”

“Definitely,” Ginny said and nodded enthusiastically. “I’ve got a  _ ton _ of questions and you’re going to answer them all,”

the redhead said warningly and waved her off with a happy smile. With a nod Hermione left, following Blaise to the Slytherin table. When she heard the increased murmuring around her she asked herself if she’d just made a mistake, but now it was too late to back out. She simply straightened her spine and walked with confidence she truly did not have.    
  


Blaise led her to the middle of the table and with a winning smile, he invited her to sit down. Hermione had barely talked to any of the Slytherins sitting around him, but she sat down with a polite nod towards them, before she reached for the food. Strangely enough, no one insulted her or even said a word, just as Blaise had promised to her. Therefore she was halfway through her bowl of porridge before she said: “I wasn’t aware you had already figured it out, Blaise.”

The handsome Slytherin looked at her with a grin. “My uncle’s job is to file away the engagement contracts at the Ministry. He sent me an owl just yesterday,” he said with a sly grin in her direction. The action not going unnoticed by their classmates.

Hermione nodded silently, even though she could feel the other Slytherins’ eyes on her. She was sure they would seek out more information from Blaise later on, or maybe they were already aware of her engagement to their former Head of House. Either way, she was happy to just be left alone, eating in peace.

“By the way, I have a belated Christmas present for you, love. I can send it to your room, if you like,” Blaise continued, the grin never leaving his face. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she protested. 

Blaise chuckled. “Why, Hermione, I loved your gift and the thoughtfulness behind it. And considering the circumstances you might appreciate mine as well,” he said, winking at her. Somehow that smile unsettled her and made her curious at the same time. But she guessed she’d have to wait until her lessons finished before she could check what he had gotten her. In the meantime she would finish her meal with as much grace and arrogance as she could muster while in the snake pit. It wouldn't do to let them hold her table manners against her out of pettiness. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


All it took was breakfast in the Great Hall for the news of Hermione’s engagement to spread and Severus watched in amusement as his colleagues mused over who the lucky man was who had so unexpectedly conquered her heart. Strangely, no one but Horace suspected Mr Zabini; Minerva’s eyes scanning the Great Hall as if she was looking for a potential miscreant and not a suitor. He did not look forward to the words that would surely follow once she found out it was him, who had ensnared one of her precious cubs. Only Albus’ eyes were on him, studying him with a strange glint instead of the happy twinkling he had expected. Strange, he had expected the man to be pleased about this development, but maybe he was. Or he was mad that he had not been the one initiating them finally getting together.    
  


Severus did not know for sure, but he would see Albus later to discuss Hermione’s change of DADA instructor and whether it would be supported by the Headmaster of the school. If not, Hermione would actually have to drop the subject for now and they would see that she could catch up everything she missed in the holidays. But Severus hoped that it would not be necessary. 

Classes progressed without any further incidents and once more Severus thanked his lucky stars that he was teaching DADA this year. Teaching potions had been way more nerve-wracking and way more prone to accidents, probably because most students could not be bothered to actually read the damned recipe. Whatever. They were Slughorn’s problem this year and not his.

Strangely enough, it was neither Minerva nor Albus knocking on his door after classes had finished for the day, but Draco Malfoy. The boy stood in front of his office with a stony expression, but Severus would have known the haunted look in his eyes everywhere, as he had seen it for years when looking into the mirror. Something had happened and considering that it had just been Christmas, Severus had a pretty good idea what it was. Sweet Circe, the boy wasn’t even of age!

“Draco,” he said as he invited the boy in. “Take a seat.”

His godson nodded and walked towards the armchair gloomily, his body sinking into the soft cushioning without the elegance he was used to from the boy. 

“Some weeks ago you offered me your help,” Draco said as soon as Severus had taken a seat in the armchair across from him. “Does the offer still stand?”

Severus calmly looked at his godson. “What happened, Draco? What did he make you do?” he asked, instead of giving him an answer right away.

For a while, Draco kept silent, his face an almost expressionless mask that indicated that the boy was trying to use Occlumency. Severus understood. He’d done that often enough to keep it together in front of others.

“Does it even matter? I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything you didn’t do as well, uncle Sev. Therefore I do not think you have the right to reject me, given that our hands are equally dirty.”

“I did not ask to judge or reject you, Draco. I merely wanted to offer you someone you can openly talk to,” Severus emphasized but he could tell that it wasn’t something the boy wanted to hear. 

“I don’t want someone to talk to. I want someone to get me out. I cannot go back, I cannot  _ do _ that again!” Draco said, his last words almost a shout. He had leapt from his chair and now stood in front of him, his white skin looking even paler. 

Severus looked at the boy with a sad smile. “You are a marked Death Eater. As soon as your loyalty is doubted, the Dark Lord will start punishing you, painfully. You are connected to him through your Mark now, which means there is no easy way out for  you any longer. He’ll be able to find you anywhere, no matter where you are. ”

“You have found a way, though. You are still alive and he does not seem to be able to reach you through the Mark,” his godson observed, his eyes getting smaller as he started to analyse the facts laid out in front of him.

Severus sighed. “I have. But it was not an easy path to take,” he said, pushing back his left sleeve. 

Draco gasped, his eyes focussing on the unblemished skin. “How is this possible?” he asked, wonder and disbelief resonating from his voice. 

Severus took his time to answer. “It was not easy and  _ very _ painful,” he finally said, tucking his sleeve down. “ And I am used to quite a lot of pain . But even if we rid you from your Mark, there is still your mother.”

The boy nodded, his expression sad. “I know. But I cannot save her, not even if I stayed with him. It is only a matter of time until I disappoint him, everybody does at a point. And with my father’s mistake and the mental state the Dark Lord has been in ever since you left…”

He did not finish the sentence, but he did not have to, as Severus understood perfectly well. Lord Voldemort had never been a forgiving master and ever since his rebirth he had been especially evil-tempered. The boy was right, Narcissa did not stand a chance, either way. 

“I see,” Severus replied while getting up from his chair. “Dumbledore would probably know a way to get her out as well,” he said, his tone already communicating that he did not think the Headmaster was a welcome alternative for his godson. He was right. 

“Albus Dumbledore offered me his help in exchange for an Unbreakable Vow to serve him,” Draco sneered and Severus shook his head. 

“Of course he did. I imagine you declined his  _ kind offer _ .”

The boy nodded. “I want to free myself, not be bound to another master,” he explained, and Severus nodded. 

“But no matter which path you chose, Draco, it will have a price. What I am suggesting to get rid of your mark, will be painful -  _ very _ painful. But even afterwards… you need to choose a side in this war. Either you are with the Dark Lord, or you are against him. There is no middle ground in this war,  especially not for a Malfoy . If you oppose him, you will join the ranks of Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and the Weasleys. You will be fighting alongside blood-traitors and muggleborns. Some of your former comrades will call the Malfoy family a blood traitor family themselves. Will you be able to live with that?”

He saw that Draco indeed considered his words, his eyes moving from left to right. It took him a while, but finally, he answered: “There are only two ways this can go: Either the Dark Lord wins this war - then we will all be fucked anyway, no matter if we are on his side, or not. The Dark Lord does not share his power, not with anyone. And I do not see our position improving, once he does not need us any longer. Alternatively, if the Dark Lord loses this war, then Potter and his lot will be the best allies I and my family could wish for. Therefore the decision is not as difficult as one might think.”

Severus nodded. The boy’s reasoning was sound. Considering what a spoilt brat he had once been, Draco Malfoy had just shown more sense and strategic thinking than anyone, even Severus himself, had deemed possible. 

Still, he now had Hermione to take care of and somehow the boy’s words sounded too good to be true. What if he’d been set up and all of this was a trap? He would not risk Hermione’s safety or his own, if he wasn’t absolutely convinced of the boy’s sincerity. 

“Would you be willing to be questioned by me under Veritaserum or through Legilimency? I am not the Headmaster and will not demand a vow from you, but I need to make sure of your allegiances. I am not a fool and I have served Lord Voldemort far too long.”

The boy sighed. “Veritaserum, then. I don’t want you in my head… I don’t want you to see…”

Severus nodded, smiling kindly. “Of course. It will just be a moment.”

Severus gave him some of his strongest Veritaserum, the one he always carried around in one of the inner pockets of his robes. The boy was telling the truth, though, he really was looking for a way out and apart from Severus there was apparently no one he could turn to. 

Severus sighed.  “Very well, Draco. I will help you, then. But be warned: I will need a few weeks to prepare the potions that will be needed to rid you of this… problem. Until then, no one can suspect that you are considering a change of allegiances. Is that understood?”

Draco nodded solemnly. “Yes uncle, thank you.”

“You will also need a place to stay, afterwards. You will no longer be welcome at Malfoy Manor, once word gets out what you have done. Is there any other place you could go to and seek refuge? I do not think Hogwarts will be an option, if you do not agree to play by the Headmaster’s rules…”

“I understand,” the boy said, nodding. “I will carefully consider my options. How much time do I have?”

Severus shrugged. “That is up to you. I will need three weeks, at least. If you will need longer, it can be arranged.”

“The sooner the better,” Draco said, determined. “I want this  _ thing _ gone. And I want to start taking my life in my own hands again, to make my own decisions. I am done following the commands of an insane old man.”

“Three weeks then,” Severus confirmed and offered the boy his hand to seal the deal. 

“Three weeks. Thank you, uncle Sev. I will not disappoint you,” Draco Malfoy promised and shook his hand.

“You’d better not, Draco. I am not the Headmaster, to demand an Unbreakable Vow from you. But do not doubt for a second that I will not protect myself and those dear to me.” It was all the warning the boy would get. He had better take it to heart, because when the day came that Severus would have to decide between Hermione and the rest of the world, he would always decide for her. And Draco Malfoy would need to learn to accept that he would always come second or even third to the muggle-born he probably despised the most. 


	73. Uncomfortable knowledge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing is going more slowly again, but I am doing my best to not get stuck. Let’s hope I manage.
> 
> This chapter was betaed by the formidable Justsare. Thanks to her you don’t have to deal with my awkward English in this story. 

A book. Blaise Zabini had gifted her a book on  _ love-making techniques _ . Hermione could not believe it. But there it was, sitting on her sofa, a little note indicating that Blaise indeed had been the sender. Hermione stared at it with a huff, before unfolding it and starting to read:

_ My dear, favourite Gryffindor, _

_ Considering your love for books and your urge to be well-educated on every subject, I decided to offer you some knowledge of the unusual kind. _

_ Now that you have gotten yourself a rather formidable fiancé, I am sure you will need that kind of knowledge sooner or later. _

_ Yes, the title is rather off-putting, but the book’s content is worth reading.  _

Hermione snorted. That was quite the understatement. ‘How to pleasure your wizard,’ the book cover read in bold, black letters. That title alone! She shook her head but then kept reading on.

_ I have tried some of the techniques myself and the responses were always very satisfying.  _

Hermione swallowed. That, she really had not needed to know.

_ We both know you are worried about your lack of knowledge in this special area, love. And even though I would gladly educate you on the subject, we both know that neither you nor your fiancé would appreciate this. Therefore we will use the means of education you are most comfortable with. I can assure you, your fiancé will appreciate it.  _

Well, maybe reading this book wasn’t such a bad idea, Hermione thought. Having certain knowledge had never hurt anyone, especially as this wasn’t Dark Magic they were talking about. This was just about… sex. Having a certain amount of knowledge would not hurt anyone, quite the contrary actually. Severus might indeed appreciate it if he didn’t have to teach her every little thing.

_ If you do not understand some of the things, do not hesitate to ask. I am remaining your faithful and very helpful Slytherin friend. _

_ Blaise  _

  
  


Hermione shook her head. The boy really had guts. On the other hand, he was right. She  _ wanted _ to educate herself in certain aspects of love-making but she’d never felt comfortable enough to directly ask any of her friends for help. Severus had promised her they would figure it out together, but reading a book did not mean that they couldn’t still do that. She was only getting some ideas, but in the end, it would be for them to decide which ones they liked or did not like. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“Severus Snape! What is going on here?”

He had just readied himself for meeting the Headmaster, when the door to his office burst open, revealing a furious Minerva McGonagall. In all the time he had been working as a professor, he had not seen her like this: her eyes blazing while she was surrounded by an aura of wild magic. “I do hope those  _ rumours _ surrounding you and Miss Granger are nothing but a tasteless joke!”

Severus looked at the older witch with a friendly smile, while pointing at one of the comfortable armchairs in the reading-corner of his room. “Good evening Minerva. Do sit down. Can I get you some tea?” he said, while calmly sitting down across from her. 

Minerva lowered herself on the offered spot with a huff, her arms folded in front of her chest. Severus looked at her with a small smile, realizing that over the years he had grown fond of the stern Gryffindor. 

“Don’t play this game with me, Severus Snape,” she scolded, looking at him with raised brows. “Just tell me: are you or are you not engaged to Hermione Granger?”

He sighed, before he focussed the woman with a calm, unwavering gaze. “I am.”

His words were followed by a shocked gasp and then a disbelieving shake of her head. “This cannot be. How… please tell me you have not gotten her pregnant, Severus.”

For a moment he wanted to lash out at her, or feel insulted by her words. Didn’t she know him one bit, when she suspected him to be capable of such an abominable thing? But then he told himself to calm down, because what else was she supposed to think considering the surprising and very unlikely news? “The girl is still a virgin, Minerva. If you do not believe my words, you can check out our betrothal contract that was filed away in the Ministry some days ago. It is signed by her parents, in case you doubt me.”

That seemed to pacify the woman, as he could see her somewhat deflate in front of him. Her whole posture seemed to change, until Minerva McGonagall suddenly looked … old. “I apologize for having accused you of such a thing. I just do not understand… how can I not have noticed something like that going on around the castle? Since when have the two of you been…”

“Dating?” Severus supplied for her and the woman nodded. He smiled. “We have gotten engaged on Christmas Eve. It was also the day of our first date. It was initiated by her mother, in case you might wonder.”

Minerva shook her head, her eyes looking at him with something like disappointment. “So are you planning a marriage of convenience? Is that what this is? Merlin, don’t tell me Albus is behind this. I swear, I’ll hex him into next year if I find out that he made you agree to this….  _ nonsense _ !”

It was the first time he heard her speak of the Headmaster like this and given any other situation he would have felt inclined to chuckle. But there was nothing funny about her assuming that this connection would be a loveless one. “No, Minerva. The betrothal was actually my idea. You see…” he took a deep breath. He knew he’d have to actually  _ say _ it, to ensure there would be no other misunderstandings between him and Hermione’s self-declared protector. “I love the girl, Minerva. And Miss Granger -  _ Hermione _ \- has assured me, repeatedly, that the feeling is mutual.”

For a moment he feared Minerva would have a stroke, when she remained frozen at his words, only her left eyelid twitching. But then, she looked at him with a stern expression, her pale green eyes looking at him piercingly. “Say that again,” she prompted him, her eyes small like she expected a lie. 

Severus took a deep breath. “I am in love with Hermione Granger and I believe she loves me back. An engagement was the only way to legalize being with each other, this and her taking a private instructor for Defense.” 

“Who?” The witch had enquired further, her eyes shifting in a way that made him believe her pupils had suddenly taken a longish form. 

“Remus Lupin,” he answered without hesitation and at that, the woman’s stern expression finally softened. 

“You asked Lupin to tutor her,” she clarified, her voice doubtful.

“I am  _ paying _ him to tutor her. She preferred him as an instructor over Moody and I saw no reason why he should not do it. He seemed competent enough,” Severus said matter-of-factly. 

Suddenly, Minerva broke out into a smile. “You must really love her, then. Otherwise I cannot explain why you would willingly contact and pay one of James Potter’s friends. I never expected you to move past the grudge you held for them.”

“Knowing that my past led me here, to her, helped me to finally accept it,” he confessed with a little smile. 

“Oh, Severus,” the older witch exclaimed, and much to his surprise she leaned forward and pulled him into her arms. “I cannot believe you finally allowed yourself to feel and even to fall in love again. I never dared to hope… but I do not think you would be lying about something like this.” 

“Never,” Severus assured her, his hands awkwardly patting her back. It was the second time she had held him like this; the first time being long ago.

“I would never lie about something like that, not after finally being granted a second chance at happiness. I will not throw it away.”

“You better not,” Minerva warned him, softly. “And please, Severus, be gentle with her. She is still so young and probably totally awestruck by having won such a strong and intelligent man’s affection. It does not take a lot of imagination to realize what she’s seeing in you.”

“I am aware of her youth and pureness, Minerva. I will be careful not to hurt her, but I am afraid others will be less gentle when word of this engagement gets out. Going by your reaction I can only imagine what others will say, because not everybody sees me in a favourable light.”

The witch sighed. “You know how cruel teenagers can be. But Miss Granger has a strong heart. If she really loves you, her love for you will not falter because of being questioned. You could not wish for a more loyal companion in life.”

Severus nodded, because he knew she was right. He had seen Hermione stick to her friends’ side, no matter what was thrown at them. She would not abandon him as long as he did not give her any reason to. And he would be most careful not to. “I know,” he said while carefully detaching himself from Minerva’s embrace. “Still I wish I could spare her the humiliation and the pain that will follow the discovery of our engagement. Skeeter will have a field day.”

Minerva looked at him with a grim smile on her face. “About that. I do have a suggestion for you,” she said, positioning herself more comfortably on his armchair before ordering herself a cup of tea from the house-elves. Then, she started to talk and with every word she said, Severus found himself listening more interestedly. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Hermione had barely put Blaise’s letter aside, when she was summoned to the Headmaster’s office. Considering the letter she had written to the man the day before, informing him about her engagement to Severus and her plans to take a private tutor, she had not expected anything else, but now when his phoenix stood before her, the invitation in his beak, Hermione could not help but be nervous about meeting Albus Dumbledore. But going by the man’s previous reaction to Hermione’s and Severus’ friendship, she hoped that his reaction would be understanding if not supporting of their alliance. 

“Good afternoon, Professor Dumbledore,” Hermione greeted the man after entering his office only minutes later. She could spy him in front of his elegant pensieve, which was sitting on a shelf close to the window. He had probably just looked at one of the memories stored there and Hermione asked herself how it would be to permanently store away some of hers. She realized that she wouldn’t actually want to part with them, not now after finally having won Severus’ love and permission to actually be with him. But she guessed she would think differently, if she had accumulated enough distressing memories. Did the Headmaster? And was that the reason for him storing them elsewhere?

“Ah, Miss Granger. Sit down, sit down. I would offer you a Lemon Drop, but considering your latest experience with them, you are probably not so fond of those,” he said with a kind smile while walking towards the chair standing behind his desk. There, he sat down and waited for her to take a seat as well.

“Thank you, Sir. But you are right. I will not eat those anytime soon. Did you receive my letter?” 

Albus Dumbledore nodded. “I did, indeed. I must congratulate you on your choice of a future husband. Severus is a formidable wizard and once you have won his heart and affection, you could not wish for a more loyal partner in life.”

Hermione nodded happily. “I know. What do you think of my suggestion to leave his class and take private lessons from Professor Lupin instead? He was a very good teacher and he said he would do it, if you agreed to the plan.”

“It is a good plan,” the Headmaster agreed with a nod. “Remus is a trustworthy member of the Order, Miss Granger, and I see no problem with him visiting the castle once or twice a week. We could also consider continuing our private duelling lessons, that is if your fiancé agrees to take them up again. He was reluctant to do so, after the last time.”

Hermione sighed. “I know. He is terrified of draining my energy again and I understand. But we’ll eventually need to learn to control this, will we not?”

Albus Dumbledore nodded. “The bond between you will remain and probably even strengthen, now that you are no longer working against it. I imagine that it could only be broken, should one of you sully your soul by performing Dark Magic or something comparably evil. This way one would no longer be able to perform white magic to begin with, which would probably break the bond between you.”

“I do not think this will be a problem, Sir. Severus is no longer a Death Eater and there should be no reason for him to do something dark like that. As for me... “

Professor Dumbledore interrupted her with a smile. “I am not worried about you, Miss Granger. Severus on the other hand has proved to be prone to extreme reactions, should he believe a beloved person to be in danger.”

“Are you referring to Lily Potter, Sir?” 

“He told you that he loved her?” the Headmaster asked, sounding astonished. 

Hermione nodded. “He did.”

“Interesting. I did not expect him to,” Professor Dumbledore said, rubbing his chin. “Anyway, Miss Granger. It surely would not hurt, if you kept an eye on him. I am sure the two of you will be spending lots of time together from now on, which makes me sure that you would notice, if Severus started to act suspiciously. Would you not?”

She stared at the man in confusion. What was he even trying to say? That Severus would start experimenting with Dark Magic, just like that? That was more than unlikely. But what else did he suspect then?

“I am sure I would notice if something was wrong with him,” she answered hesitantly. 

“I hope so, my dear. Do not forget your Severus has been a spy for many years. He used to trick Lord Voldemort and sometimes I think he even tricked me. Be careful, Miss Granger. And should you ever be in doubt or feel endangered by him, do not hesitate to come to me. Do you understand?”

She nodded slowly, her head still mulling over the man’s words. “Yes, Sir. Is there anything else you need from me?”

Albus Dumbledore shook his head. “Not at this moment, Miss Granger. I am sure your friends will be impatient to find out more about this mysterious suitor of yours. You probably should not let them wait any longer.”

Somehow Hermione was happy to be released from that strange conversation, which had almost felt like a not-subtle-enough interrogation. But maybe that’s what it was. Severus had told her of the Headmaster’s tendency to manipulate people and somehow she had the feeling that this was what the man had just tried to do to her. Unfortunately for him, Hermione trusted Severus, unreservedly. 

Ssssssss

  
  


It was one hour later that Hermione, Harry and Ginny sat together in Hermione’s room, the couple taking up her sofa while she had chosen the armchair across from them. Ginny had been most eager for them to meet and Hermione had agreed and invited Harry along with her, in the hope that his girlfriend would somehow calm him when he found out that she was indeed engaged to Severus Snape. 

“So,” Ginny started, barely able to hide her euphoria. “I think it is time for you to spill the beans, Hermione. Since when are you engaged to our dear Professor Snape?”

Hermione looked at her with wide eyes, before her look shifted to Harry. To his credit her friend did not say a word, just looked at her with a somewhat forced smile. 

“Well, uhm… we got engaged on Christmas Eve, actually. You see, it is our only way to be with each other while I’m still a student at school. This and me dropping out of Defense, taking a private instructor instead.”

Ginny nodded with a wide grin, while Harry looked at her with somewhat furrowed brows. “So, he loves you too. Is this what you are saying?”

Hermione nodded happily. “He’s said he does and well… he does act like he loves me. I never expected him to be this affectionate but when we are alone…” She became aware of Harry’s somewhat pained expression and hastily added. “Well, let us just say he does not leave much room for doubting his feelings towards me.”

“I’m so happy for you, Hermione. I knew he’d eventually come around… or at least I hoped he would,” Ginny cooed. 

To Hermione’s astonishment Harry nodded, adding: “Ever since you told me you have a crush on him, I hoped he’d come around.”

When Hermione stared at him full of surprise, her oldest friend shrugged and explained: “You know, in a very strange way the two of you make sense together. Apart from you he’s the most intelligent person I know - if we leave out Dumbledore that is - and ever since he’s no longer a Death Eater he’s been much nicer in class too. It really isn’t that hard to imagine that in private he’s an entirely different person.” 

“He really is,” Hermione told him with a shy smile. “Once you get to know him properly…”

Harry snorted. “I think I’ll need some more time to get used to the idea of spending my evening with Professor Snape, lounging or playing board games. Do you think he’d want to do that… with us?”

She got the feeling that he had actually wanted to say ‘with me’ and looked at him with a smile. “Severus has just hired Professor Lupin to teach me defence in his stead. I am pretty sure he would not mind spending an evening with you and my other friends. Stranger things have happened, don’t you think?”

Harry snorted, while Ginny started to giggle. It only took a moment until Hermione joined in, relief flooding her that at least Harry and Ginny did not question her for being with Severus. Together with her parents and Blaise, that was almost everybody she cared about, so if the others had a problem with her relationship, they could go to hell.

  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	74. Right at your side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the story rating to E. After writing some of the next chapters I realized that it was needed. I hope you do not mind. 
> 
> Justsare worked her magic again and transformed my words into something readable. Btw, she is writing the most brilliant (smutty) story, in case you want to check her out. 

When Hermione sat down in the Great Hall for dinner, her mood was very much improved. Her talk with Ginny and Harry had lifted her spirits and made her optimistic for the future. 

And so she ate her dinner across from them with a light heart, not spending a thought on Ron or Lavender, who looked at her incredulously. And she also did not care as a bunch of owls flew into the room, dropping a special issue of the Daily Prophet onto the table, with the first page announcing hers and Severus’ engagement in bold letters. 

Strangely enough, the article below was not written by Rita Skeeter, but by a writer named Minnie M. and taken by a wave of curiosity, she unfolded her copy of the newspaper and started to read. 

_ Star student Hermione Granger betrothed to her former Professor Severus Snape _

_ By Minnie M. _

_ During the holidays, a most unexpected betrothal took place, but in hindsight, I do ask myself why none of us saw it coming. After all, Hermione Granger is known for her sharp wit and thirst for knowledge. The same can be said of Hogwarts’ current DADA teacher, Professor Severus Snape, who in his time had some of the best NEWTs scores and was one of the most promising students ever to walk the halls of the famous wizarding school.  _

_ Therefore it is probably no wonder those two intelligent and ambitious individuals were pulled towards each other.  _

_ “I am very happy to have found a kindred spirit in my fiancée,” Professor Snape admits with a rare smile on his face. “I consider myself the luckiest of men, that she reciprocates my affection and that her parents agreed to our union.” _

_ From what I could coax out of the freshly betrothed Professor, the engagement took place on Christmas Eve, right after the couple’s first date. Professor Snape also willingly provided the information that Miss Granger will now drop out of his class, as propriety would no longer allow them to maintain a relationship as Professor and student. Instead, our star student will receive private tuition by her former DADA teacher, Professor Remus Lupin, who was most popular with the students at the castle. “We would not want my fiancée’s education to suffer from our change of relationship, as she deserves the best chances for her later career,” her betrothed explains seriously. “She deserves nothing less.” _

_ I can only congratulate Professor Snape for his formidable choice of a partner. There is no doubt that great things can be expected from our couple. We can only give them our heartfelt congratulations and wish them the best of luck for their future together. _

  
  


Hermione read the article twice, unable to wrap her head around the fact that Severus had given an interview to a reporter of the Daily Prophet. For how long had he planned to do that? 

She had to admit that it had been a clever move, as the truth would have gotten out pretty soon anyway. This way their secret was revealed on their own terms and without giving people like Rita Skeeter the chance to craft their own, outlandish theories. Still, Hermione wished she’d had a chance to prepare for the onslaught of questions suddenly being directed towards her.   
  


“Is it true?”

“Are you really engaged to Snape?”

“That reporter is right. We should really have seen that one coming.”

“Merlin, she’s snogging the bat of the dungeons? Ewwww!”   
  


Hermione listened to all of those words with a patient smile, waiting them out one by one before she replied loud enough for the people sitting around her to hear: “It is true. I am engaged to Professor Snape. I was most happy to accept his proposal on Christmas Eve.”

Her words were followed by a moment of silence before all hell broke loose. She just sat there, letting the questions and accusations wash over her, without actually letting them influence her. She did not care about those people, or what they thought of her and her choice of a future husband. 

Strangely enough, there was no word from Ron, who just stared at her with an unreadable look, while Lavender spouted one wild theory after another. That was, until her boyfriend suddenly interrupted her, his blue eyes staring at her angrily. “Would you just leave Mione alone, Lav? She’s done nothing to you and you keep nagging and teasing like anyone’s even remotely interested in those absurd theories you come up with all the time. Just stop, alright? I am more than sick of it.”

There was a shocked gasp from the girl before she burst from her seat with a wail of hurt feelings. Hermione watched her go, grim satisfaction blooming in her chest. That was, until her eyes were pulled towards Ron, who looked at her somewhat guiltily. 

“Sorry. I should have said that to her a long time ago, Mione. But I was a spineless idiot, and an arse at that. It really is none of our business who you’re friends with or if Snape, that lucky bastard, gets you for a wife.”

There was a shocked silence at the table; many Gryffindors and even students from other houses following their conversation with obvious interest. 

“I know it’s pretty late for an apology, Mione, but nevertheless you deserve one. I acted out of wounded pride and hurt feelings but that is no excuse. I am truly sorry for treating you this abysmally and I can only hope you’ll forgive me one day. I definitely have no right to expect it.”

With that, Ron fell silent, his ears red from the stares directed at him from all across the hall. Hermione stared at him speechlessly for a moment, until she became aware of the stares, now shifting towards her. She sighed.  “No, you don’t. Not after treating me like shit for weeks and attacking me,  _ twice _ .” 

Ron nodded seriously. “I know, and I am truly sorry, Hermione.”  That was when Ginny, who sat to his right, suddenly gasped, pointing at his forehead. 

“Look! The writing, it’s disappearing!” she exclaimed and Ron hastily touched the freckled skin with his fingers. Then he smiled.

“Well, that probably means I have finally stopped behaving like an idiot. Was ‘bout time.”

“Hear, hear,” Dean and Sheamus chorussed and shortly afterward the whole Gryffindor table erupted into laughter. No one scolded them for it, and gripped by a wave of relief, Hermione joined in.  Maybe, with time, she’d truly be able to forgive him, given that the disappearing writing on his forehead probably meant that he truly had grown and changed. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

“How did you like my book?” Blaise asked, as soon as his Gryffindor friend had opened the door to her chambers for him. He’d followed her there after dinner, after most of the agitation had died down, because he had not had the chance to properly talk to her ever since she returned from the holidays. He’d missed her, he realized, especially during the exceedingly long and boring dinner parties his mother tended to hold. Talking to Hermione was surprisingly fun, once he carefully steered her away from academic topics. 

“Didn’t have time to read it, yet,” his favourite Gryffindor replied, her cheeks turning pink. 

Blaise looked at her with a knowing grin. “But you will, right, love? Because you trust your helpful Slytherin friend and you know what’s good for you.” He winked, a gesture that was answered by a shy nod and a roll of her eyes.

“I will give it a try. Do you want to come in?” she asked and stepped aside to make room for him. 

Blaise shook his head. “Better not. You’re a betrothed girl now, love. Wouldn’t want me to be seen entering your very private chambers now. But we could look for a comfortable spot out here…”

For a moment he saw resistance flash in Hermione’s eyes, but it was gone a second later and she nodded. “Of course. We could just sit down on the floor of the hallway, instead. A cushioning charm and a silencing spell and we should be good to go.”

They walked a few steps. When they had finally found a good spot and sat down he said: “So, how were your holidays?”

It was all it took to get her talking, telling him enthusiastically of Snape’s proposal and their first date, her eyes bright. Her excitement and innocence were almost cute, especially considering what a dark and mature wizard she chose for herself. Morgana’s tits! The girl had probably no idea what she was getting herself into. On the other hand, she was a Gryffindor and had endured Snape’s classes and nasty comments for years, so she probably knew and just had balls harder than anyone expected her to. 

“I’m happy for you,” he said, once the girl had ended her story. “I cannot say I’ve seen that coming, you snatching up my former Head of House, but he is indeed a fine prize.” He winked at her. 

Hermione nodded at him with a smile. “Thank you, Blaise. You’re a good friend.”

He could hear from her tone that she meant it, her eyes shining with an affection that made his heart ache. Those Gryffindors, wearing their hearts on their sleeves like that. This girl was all feelings and honesty, without a bit of calculation. She saw him as her friend, even now that Weasley the no-longer-idiot had finally pulled his head out of his arse. 

And Blaise considered himself a lucky bastard for it, not just because the girl was hopefully his ticket out of this madness. Yes, she was a worthy ally, even more so now that she was betrothed to Severus Snape of all people, but Blaise realized that he genuinely liked her.

“As are you,” he answered, smiling kindly. Inwardly he shook his head. Hermoine Granger. This girl truly was a miracle, her kindness and bravery getting more and more evident the longer he knew her. No wonder Snape had fallen for her, he could have loved her himself if things had been different. But as things were, he would keep his hands off her, because if there was a fiancé one did not want to anger, it was Severus Snape. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


‘What a day,’ Severus thought when finally sinking into his favourite armchair, the one right next to his bookshelves. As expected, the article in the Prophet had caused an uproar in the Great Hall, several colleagues and various students looking at him accusingly or in total disbelief. The worst was, surprisingly, Slughorn, who stared at him like he had somehow robbed him of something very precious, or sullied his favourite tablecloth (Severus wasn’t sure which). He was aware the man did not particularly like him, especially after he had viewed that particular memory of his, and maybe that was why he did not want Hermione associated with him. But maybe he was also just afraid to lose his non-existent influence over the girl. 

  
Sybil was distraught, repeating over and over that the girl was supposed to end up being an old spinster, while looking in his direction with watery eyes. Merlin, had that old busybody still been after him, hoping that he’d one day discover his love for sherry, incense, and husky voices? Probably, even though Salazar knows he hadn’t given the woman any sort of hope or encouragement in that area. But maybe she had hoped that if he’d just felt lonely and unloved enough, he’d turn towards her out of desperation.  It was a ridiculous thought of course, but with Sybil one could never know.

His train of thought was interrupted as his floo activated and Hermione stepped into the room. Immediately Severus got up and walked towards her, studying her carefully as he was not sure in what kind of mood he’d find her. Even now it was hard for him to tell, just from her facial expression.

“Good evening, my love,” he therefore said and opened his arms for her invitingly. And to his big relief she walked right into his embrace, her body melting against him without any kind of reservation. Thank Merlin. 

“Hello,” she mumbled into his chest, her fingers gripping the front of his robe. She did not say anything else, just leaned into him, and Severus was happy to just silently hold her and soak up the smell of her hair. When she finally untangled herself from him, he let her go with an affectionate smile, even though his heart gave a stutter of protest at the sudden loss of physical contact. 

“I was most impatient to finally have you back here,” he admitted while looking at her with a soft smile. “Did you have to face many questions after Weasley so affectionately declared his stand to his fellow Gryffindors?”

His mate shrugged. “Not too many. I think most of them did not dare say something in front of me, or him. But even if they had, I would not really have cared about their opinion. I chose you, Severus; no one is going to convince me otherwise.”

He nodded. “Are you…” he shook his head. No, he would not start this with a question. She deserved an apology for being left out on his decision to have that damned article published, no matter if she actually requested one or not. 

“I am sorry for not warning you about that article, my love. It was a last-minute decision Minerva and I made, after she was finished berating me for ensnaring her favorite cub. But after I managed to convince her that my feelings for you are truthful and that I have not gotten you pregnant…” he broke off when he saw her cheeks reddening. 

“She was the one who wrote the article, in case you have not guessed. She pointed out to me that it is best to tell our own story, before people like Skeeter can spin their own yarn. I agreed.”

Hermione nodded while looking at him with huge brown eyes. He could get lost in them, he thought, while waiting for her answer. 

“It was a good idea,” she finally said, nodding. “Still, I would have wished to have been forewarned. But I guess it was not possible and I am in no position to judge, as I did the exact same thing to you only days ago.”

“I would have told you, of course, if I’d had the chance to do so,” he swore, before he could no longer take the distance between them and pulled her back against his chest. Gods, he was terrified to mess this up, to lose her because of a stupid mistake he made, just like he had lost Lily so many years ago. But he had not lost her yet, he told himself, and greedily soaked in her closeness. 

To his relief, Hermione nodded. “I know and I’m glad. I want to be right at your side when you have to make difficult decisions like that. We are partners now, Severus, which means that we’ll do and decide things together from now on, right?”

She looked up at him with such a hopeful expression that it took all his willpower not to wince. She was right of course, they were partners now and therefore they should be deciding things together. Except he had already acted against this intention by offering his help to Draco, the boy that had tormented Hermione and her friends for years and was a Death Eater on top of it. Fuck. Why had he not considered talking to her first, asking for her opinion on the matter? Salazar, he really was an idiot. 

“Of course, my love,” he said, his voice sounding traitorously hoarse. “From now on we’re going to decide things together.”

The happy smile these words earned him was like a stab in his chest, but he did not let the panic he felt reach his face. Instead he pulled her even closer, pressing his lips onto her mouth with the determination to show her how much he loved and adored her. Hermione followed his lead with a happy sigh, melting against him without hesitation. 

He’d tell her tomorrow, he decided, getting more and more lost within the kiss and the feelings it provoked in him. Yes, tomorrow would be a good time, as she’d had enough stress for today and he could enjoy her unclouded attention for a day longer. Tomorrow would give him enough time to show her how much he loved and adored her and make her happy with whatever it was she required from him. Then tomorrow would hopefully find her in a good mood and she’d be willing to forgive him, for betraying her trust already. 

  
  
  
  
  



	75. Whatever you desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The brilliant Justsare worked her magic again and betaed for me. I truly am a lucky person.

Severus had the talent to make her thoughts stop, her head suddenly empty instead, as if the feelings her mate provoked in her body were suddenly the sole focus of her existence. His clever hands played her like an instrument, her body singing with joy every time his fingers stroked her skin. This man really was a master of seduction, even though he said about himself that he barely had any experience with women at all. With her it did not matter, Hermione thought, as she sunk down onto his bed, Severus climbing right on top of her, without even breaking their heated kiss. Maybe it was because they were magically bonded, or because she trusted him completely, but there was no hint of fear or hesitation in her when she felt his hands roam her body, pushing up the long-sleeved sweater she had put on instead of her school robes. She had sworn to herself to never wear those when visiting him, as she did not want to be seen as his student any longer. She was a woman now, his fiancée, and she wanted him to see her as such and nothing else. And going by the fever of his kisses he did just that. 

“I love you so much,” he told her in between kisses, cradling her face with his hands while his eyes shone with raw feelings. She thought there was a hint of desperation in them, and it probably was because he was holding back to not push her to do anything she was not ready to. Gods, she really needed to read that book Blaise had given her, or ask Ginny about what she was supposed to expect from her first time having intercourse. 

“And I love you,” she replied, tenderly stroking Severus’ silky, black hair. It felt so different from hers, way thinner and much more smooth. She’d love to explore it, one day, when she wasn’t this distracted by the urge to touch his skin and feel him touching hers. “I love the way you kiss me,” she continued, her lips seeking out his with a smile. “The way your hair feels,” she went on, her fingertips scraping over his scalp, making him moan and tremble above her. 

“Gods,” he moaned, his weight momentarily immobilizing her. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me, have you?” 

Well, the feeling of his erection pressing into her thigh gave her a pretty good idea, as did his kisses, which grew more and more frantic. She felt herself grow hot and cold, her skin breaking out in goosebumps as it started tingling with anticipation. She tried to distract herself by touching his skin, tracing the soft skin of the scars covering his torso, but the shivers that ran through his body as a reaction to her touch only made her more excited. 

“Severus, please,” she found herself gasping moments later, her body burning with the need for his touch.

“Yes, my heart? What is it that you want?” he asked huskily, his dark eyes focussing her with a burning intensity that made her heart stutter. “Just tell me…” 

“I…” Hermione stared at him with wide eyes. “Can you get rid of our clothes? I want to feel you and…”

She gasped as her clothes suddenly vanished, her skin coming in contact with Severus' warm and very naked body. “Like that?” he asked, a rakish grin spreading on his face. 

Hermione nodded, her focus shifting downwards, where his erection was pressing into her thigh oh so close to her centre. What if she asked him to have sex with her? Would he do it? And how would it feel if he did?

She was distracted by his lips, which started to kiss along her collarbone, and his hand, which was slowly travelling downward, his thumb brushing along the outsides of her breasts. She moaned, then bit her lip before she remembered how excited she was as he’d made those kinds of sounds for her. 

“Gods, Severus… that feels so good,” she exclaimed instead and was rewarded as his lips found their way even further downwards, in between her breasts, towards her belly button. Severus circled it with his tongue, his body slowly moving downward until he was kneeling between her legs. 

“Good,” he replied, his hands brushing along the insides of her thighs. “I can make it feel even better. Do you want that, love? Do you want me to make you feel  _ so _ good?” 

She nodded, her lip trembling with anticipation. “Yes, please,” she answered, her voice barely more than a whisper. But it was enough to make him nod and smile, before his kisses travelled even lower, his fingers already playing with the short hair covering her folds. His mouth joined them a moment later, uncovering her centre with hot kisses and bold strokes of his tongue. First she wanted to pull back, surprised by the sudden appearance of his tongue and afraid that he would not like the taste of her, but then she realized how good it felt and all she could do was moan and bury her hands in his hair. 

“You like that, do you, witch?” he asked, his voice sounding husky. 

“I… it feels very good, but… are you  _ sure _ you want to do that? Doesn’t it taste weird?”

“Not at all,” Severus assured her, his tongue brushing the sensitive skin of her centre again. “I love how you taste - how you smell,” he said and Hermione could hear him take a deep breath, his nose burying in the soft curls growing in between her legs. “I cannot get enough of it.”

Hermione stared at him with wide eyes, receiving a rakish smile as an answer before Severus lowered his mouth onto her folds. Gods, she’d had no idea that his tongue would be able to make her feel like this, touching her oh so directly, licking and sucking her sensitive bud without ever becoming too much for her to take. Instead he drove her higher and higher; her body trembling without her being able to control it any longer, her legs twitching and her mouth babbling a string of words that she wasn’t sure even made sense. But she did not care, as Severus kept going, one of his fingers brushing against her entrance as if he was asking for permission. She nodded, hoping that he would see it, as she was not sure her voice would follow her right now. Luckily he seemed to have been watching for a reaction from her, as his finger entered her a moment later, filling her in the most delicious way. It felt good to be entered by him, even though she realized that his finger already filled her up pretty nicely. She had no idea how other things were supposed to fit. 

“Gods, Severus, what are you doing to me?” she panted, her voice hoarse from moaning his name. “This feels so good…”

“Good,” he purred, the vibration from his voice sending another wave of pleasure through her core. She moaned. 

“How about this?” he asked and suddenly his finger twitched, brushing the sensitive spot inside her. Hermione gasped in surprise. 

Suddenly she started to understand what all the fuss was about, because being touched by him like this felt heavenly, much better than what she had ever been able to do to herself. 

But oh, she wasn’t going to last much longer like this, as she could feel the pressure building up faster now, her breathing coming in short pants now. 

“Severus… ah… I’m going to…”

“Yes, my love,” Severus rasped. “Come for me, Hermione.”

And Hermione did, her body coming undone only moments after, pushed over the edge by another clever movement of his finger inside her. She heard herself crying out his name as her body was overwhelmed by waves of pleasure, one higher than the other until it was too much for her to take and she moved away from him. Severus immediately let her be and instead crawled next to her, pulling her protectively against his chest a moment after. 

“Come here, my heart,” he whispered, his left hand stroking her curls while his other hand drew circles onto her back. “I have you.”

Hermione nodded and relaxed into him. Slowly she could feel herself winding down again, her body recovering from the overload of sensations while her breathing and her heartbeat slowed down. 

“Thank you, Severus. God, that was amazing,” she finally murmured, his voice still somewhat hoarse. “I’ve never experienced anything like it.”

She could feel Severus smile, while he kissed her hair. “You can experience it as often as you like, my love. I love touching you and giving you pleasure. One could say it is my new favourite thing to do.”

Hermione smiled. That, she could understand. She, too, loved touching Severus and being touched by him in return. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus cradled his mate close to his chest, unwilling to let her go. He’d done his best to give her joy, using all the knowledge he had of the female body. Some of it he had collected in person, some of it he had acquired from books he had read in his youth, unable to test it until today. But going by her reaction she had loved it, her cries of his name being enough to testify that. 

“What about you?” he suddenly heard her ask, her brown eyes looking up full of hope. “Do you want me to… reciprocate?” 

He shook his head, even though his heart stuttered in excitement. But no, this was about her and making her feel his love and adoration. Today had been about worshipping her and her body, in the hope that tomorrow she would remember his generosity and forgive his stupid mistake. “No, my love. Not today,” he therefore told her, bestowing a gentle kiss onto her crown. Luckily he had his body tightly under control, his cock knowing that there was nothing to expect for him here. Having gotten off by his mate’s clever hands yesterday certainly helped matters, too. “I am perfectly happy just holding you in my arms.”

Hermione blinked in confusion, disappointment suddenly shining in her eyes. “Didn’t you like what I did, yesterday? Or…”

Severus silenced her by pulling her into a kiss. “Hush. I loved what you did, my love. I just want you to be able to enjoy and relax, not needing to bother with getting me off. I do not require…”

She shook her head, her arms untangling from his body and instead wandering down his chest. “I  _ want _ to touch you, Severus. I want you to feel good as well,” she whispered, as her lips gently kissed his chest. “Touching you is most definitely not a bother. How can you even think that after you just told me you enjoy touching me yourself?” More kisses followed after that and all he could do was bury his fingers in her hair, as his traitorous body started to reveal his excitement. He could already feel his breath hitch when her lips brushed against his nipples, his touch-starved body drawn to her caresses like a moth to the fire. 

“I love to explore your body, Severus, I love to map out every scar and memorize it,” his mate went on, her words going right into his heart. “I love to touch you where nobody else is allowed to,” she purred, her body now moving with the elegance of a cat as she climbed on top of him. Hell, he could already feel his member twitch in excitement, his resolve to deny himself the pleasure of her touch melting with every one of her kisses. 

“Or do you want to tell me that I am not allowed to do this?” Hermione murmured, her tongue flicking against his bellybutton. How was he supposed to tell her no now, when she obviously wanted to do what he so much desired? He could not, would not, because he did not want to discourage her when she had no reason to be discouraged. Her touch was always welcome and he wanted her to know just that. 

“I told you I am yours, Hermione,” he croaked, while he fascinatedly watched her kiss her way even further downwards, towards his now hard member. “You are free to explore my body as you please. But know that I am not expecting anything from you in return whenever I caress you.”

She nodded, just before her lips gently came to rest on his erection, as she started kissing him with more and more confidence. Then suddenly there were her hands, running through his pubic hair, her fingertips caressing the soft skin below. Merlin, he could already feel the tension starting to build inside him, his body responding to her exploring touches in the most primal way. Gods, he just wanted to climb on top of her and take her, finally making her truly his by being the first man ever burying himself in her sweet flesh. But no, not today, not when he could not be sure if she’d regret letting him do it the day after, when she learned of his betrayal. Instead, he’d just let her do whatever she pleased, greedily taking whatever she was willing to give, spurring her on with his moans and the few words he was able to get out in between the pants escaping him more and more frequently. When she finally took him into her mouth, her tongue flicking against the sensitive tip of his cock, he knew that he was lost. 

His body surrendered to her already, flutters of excitement running through his belly as he felt her carefully suck on him. If possible he grew even harder.

“This feels amazing, love,” he encouraged her and promptly felt her smile against his skin. Then she sucked him again, her little hands wandering towards his balls and he was gone, all doubts and worries pushed into the background by the tension building inside him. No one had ever cared enough about him to touch him in such a way and he had never trusted his other acquaintances enough to expose himself to them in such a vulnerable way. The novelty of the feeling made it even more exciting for him though, his arousal growing much faster than it should have from her still gentle touches. But he could feel that he would not last long, his tip already leaking while his heart started to pound in his chest.

“Careful, love… I’m not going to last much longer,” he warned, his hands reaching for her hair to try to guide her upwards. He would not want to spill himself into her mouth, as this surely would not be a thing she’d appreciate. But Hermione did not budge and instead it seemed like she even intensified her efforts. There was a short hum from her, indicating that she had understood, before she continued to suck him with growing enthusiasm. He could not hold back, could not avoid spending himself inside her, his semen filling her mouth as wave by wave the pressure rushed from his body. Morgana’s tits that had been intense, probably the best fuck he’d ever had and that without even penetrating her. 

Gods, he was such a lucky bastard, undeserving of this trusting and eager woman that was obviously completely taken by him. 

The next thing he knew was that she was crawling next to him, snuggling into his side without saying a word, while he was still laying on his back. With a happy sigh, he shifted, his arm coming around her as he rolled to his side, possessively pressing her into his naked chest.

“How do I even deserve you, witch?” he asked, his voice still raw. “Gods, I love you so much. ”

“I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that,” she murmured, her left hand reaching for his cheek. “I love you, Severus Snape, and no one is going to convince me otherwise, not even you. I don’t care if you  _ deserve _ me as you say. I cannot help loving you and wanting to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Her words almost broke him, the urge to just tell her what he’d done growing almost unrulable. But he did not want to ruin the moment, did not want to see her scramble away from him after he had hurt her feelings and trust. Therefore all he could do was pull her closer and murmur into her hair: “A year ago I was pretty sure I no longer had a heart, Hermione. But ever since you stepped into my life you convince me otherwise. Thank you for making me feel again. Whatever the future holds for us, I’ll never forget these moments of closeness and the love you evoked inside me. It is the most precious gift.”

“We’ll have many more of those moments,” she promised, her voice starting to sound tired. “You’ll see.”

Severus nodded, desperately hoping she was right. But even if she did not pull away from him tomorrow, there was still a self-declared Dark Lord eager to end both of their lives. So what were the odds of a happily ever after for both of them?

  
  
  
  
  



	76. Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again. A warm welcome to all the new readers and the old ones, of course. I am happy for each and every one of you and totally blown away by the support and love this story is receiving. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> I hope you are all well, physically and mentally. This story is my attempt to make us all feel a little better in those crazy times. I hope it is working. 
> 
> This fic would not be possible without the support of my lovely beta, Justsare, and my Alpha StephanieMRV. Thank you for going all the way with me. 

_ She’d never forgive him, Severus thought while sitting in the lonely corridor, staring at the portrait of the relentless fat lady. He’d messed up, truly messed up and alienated the only true friend he’d ever had in life. _

_ “Please, Lady,” he said again, kneeling in front of the portrait again. “I need her to forgive me - need her to understand that I never wanted to hurt her. But for that, I need to talk to her first.” _

_ “Severus?”  _

_ Suddenly there was a voice behind him, a voice he knew only too well. But she wasn’t supposed to be here, wasn’t the one he’d been wanting to apologize to. Or was she? He had the feeling he had seen the girl before. _

_ “Is that you?” _

_ Severus scrambled to his feet, hastily brushing the wrinkles out of his Slytherin robes. Merlin, he probably looked a fright, his face blotched and his eyes swollen from crying.  _

_ “Who else would it be?” he asked, his sadness and fear hastily hidden behind a mask of annoyance.  _

_ “I… you look different, that’s all. Much younger. But that doesn’t make sense, does it?” the girl shook her head, her brown curls bouncing in every direction. “What are you doing here anyway? This is the Gryffindor Common Room and you’re…” _

_ She motioned to his Slytherin robes.  _

_ Severus shrugged. “So? You got a problem with that?” _

_ “What? NO!” Suddenly the girl scrambled towards him, her small hands reaching for him and as he was still kneeling on the floor, he could not scramble away fast enough. But she did not hurt him. Instead, her arms came around him for a tight hug. “Don’t you know me, Severus? It’s me, Hermione. We’re…” she broke off, suddenly searching for the right words. They obviously did not come.  _

_ Still, the name Hermione touched something inside him, as did the feeling of her petite body touching him with resolve. He knew her, remembered her, and suddenly all the puzzle parts fell into place. _

_ “It’s a dream,” he murmured, his arms carefully coming around her to hold her as well. “A shared dream, most likely.” _

_ He felt her nod on her shoulder, her body slowly relaxing until she sat right in front of him. “Yeah. That can be the only explanation. Do you remember me now?” _

_ Severus nodded. “I do now. But it appeared I was somehow lost in the past.” _

_ “I like meeting your younger self,” Hermione admitted with a smile, her hand coming to rest against his cheek. “I do prefer the older version, to be honest, but I was always curious what you were like as a teenager.” _

_ He smiled ruefully. “Awkward. Lonely,” he started to list, just as he had an idea. Because suddenly he knew why he was dreaming this dream - a dream of losing what had been most dear to him. “Right on this day I managed to alienate Lily Evans, my only friend, by calling her a mudblood. I did not mean it, but this one stupid mistake cost me our friendship. She never forgave me.” _

_ Hermione nodded, her arms tightening around him. “She should have. You made a mistake, yes, but everybody does... I’ll always forgive you, Severus. I promise I will.” _

_ He swallowed against the lump forming in his throat. “Don’t say that, Hermione. Because… I’ve done something,” he croaked, his body suddenly starting to shake. Somehow he had himself less under control while dreaming, which was strange considering that last time he was able to influence their shared dream.  _

_ Hermione stared at him with concerned, brown eyes. “What have you done?” she asked, her voice calm.  _

_ He did not answer right away, his mind trying fervently to come up with a good way to tell her what he’d done. But he came up with nothing. “I… offered my help to Draco Malfoy,” he therefore confessed, his voice unable to hide his nervousness. “He was forced to join the Death Eaters and is desperately looking for a way out. There is no one else he felt he could turn to and I am his godfather and the only defected Death Eater still alive.” _

_ Hermione studied him calmly, her arms never pulling back from him like he had expected they would. “I imagine you made sure it is not a trap?” she finally asked and he nodded. _

_   
_ _ “I questioned him under Veritaserum. He truly is sickened by the things he has seen and experienced. As he should be.” _

_ The girl in his arms nodded. “Harry already suspected him to be a Death Eater. I hoped he was wrong,” she said contemplatively.  _

_ “He did not have a choice, Hermione. His father is in Azkaban and Draco has to pay for the mistakes he made. I see myself in him, even though I joined Voldemort out of my own free will. It wasn’t long until I regretted my decision, but when I did I was already so deep down that I could not find a way out,” Severus explained, full of regret.  _

_ “I understand,” his mate replied, her eyes focussing him in sorrow. “I wish I could have been there for you back then, even though there probably wouldn’t have been much I could have done. I can’t even imagine how it is to be caught in such a hopeless situation.” Her thumb stroked his chest, while she smiled at him, tenderly. “I am glad you’re there for Draco now. No one deserves to be left alone in one’s darkest hour.” _

_ “Does that mean you are forgiving me?” he found himself asking, his voice almost bursting with unexpressed hope.  _

_ At that Hermione sighed. “I wish you would have talked to me about this before making this decision. I really hope that we’ll be equals in this relationship and therefore I want to be included when you are making important decisions.” _

_ He saw her eyes flash with sadness. “I would have supported you, you know, even though Draco Malfoy and I have not been on friendly terms in the past.” _

_ Severus nodded, his heart growing heavier with each of her words. “I know and I am truly sorry for not including you when making that decision. But for such a long time it was always just me. I think I have gotten so used to making my own decisions...when not being ordered about by Dumbledore or the Dark Lord. A habit I’ll now have to unlearn. That is, if you can forgive me.” _

_ At that, his mate’s expression turned sad. “Do you mean it though? Do you trust me enough to treat me as an equal in this relationship? Or are those just words?”  _

_ “No,” he exclaimed much more urgently than he’d intended to. “I mean it, Hermione. I swear I do. I want us to be equals. It is just hard for me to get used to the idea of not being alone any longer.” His voice was shaking again, as the fear of being abandoned again overtook him.  _

_ But Hermione would not abandon him. Instead, the arms holding him pulled him even closer. “Well, Severus,” she said softly. “You should get used to the idea then. Because you are no longer alone, as I am not going anywhere.” _

_ “Does this mean I have your forgiveness?” he asked, black eyes staring at her, full of hope. _

_ She nodded. “You do. I am sure this will not have been the last mistake either of us make. It happens and that is all right as long as we are working to improve ourselves. Don’t you think?” _

_ He answered by pulling her into a frantic kiss, their teeth knocking together as his mouth latched onto hers. She hesitated only for a moment, her eyes widening at his sudden outburst of feelings. Then she kissed him back, her fingers burying themselves in the black, oily hair his younger self so ignorantly wore. But she did not pull back, did not comment as she opened her mouth for him, a soft whimper escaping her.  _

That was what suddenly pulled him out of his sleep, his body realizing that the sound he’d just heard was real. Therefore Severus was awake a moment later, wide-eyed, staring at the witch who had wound herself around his body while she slept. She was still naked, he realized, just as her eyelids fluttered open and she stared at him with confusion for a moment. He could see the moment her brain caught up, remembering the dream and the man in front of her, as her eyes suddenly lit up. It was all the encouragement he needed, the urge to reassure himself of her unchanged affection getting too strong for him to resist. It was as if his body moved on its own, his lips kissing her, full of passion and need. He wanted her,  _ needed _ her to an extent that made it hard for him to breathe and left his whole body aching with hunger and passion.    
  


“Merlin, I love you,” he gasped when he finally managed to pull his mouth away from her soft lips, only to latch onto her blissfully naked shoulder. He could not get enough of kissing her naked skin, licking and tasting it, especially as it left his witch moaning and quivering beneath him. The little sounds she made went straight to his groin, his cock already hard and straining, urging him to finally take her - to make her his. “Please know that I want you in my life, that I want you to be mine forever,” he murmured in between sucks and kisses. 

“I am yours,” the woman below him panted, her nimble fingers raking through his hair. It only spurred him on even further. 

Before he registered what he was doing, his hands wandered to her folds, while his mouth ravished her soft lips. She whimpered when he combed his fingers through her short, soft hair, his fingertips searching for her sensitive nub. He could feel her leaning into him, her legs spreading in the hope of giving him better access and it was all the encouragement he needed. It was like his fingers suddenly had a life on their own, stroking her skin and circling her sensitive nub while he found himself pressing his erection into her thigh, rubbing it against the soft flesh. It felt good, oh so good, but it only made him want more, his mind already starting to imagine how it would be to enter her, how  _ tight _ she would be. The thought alone was killing him, taxing his slowly shrinking self-restraint. 

When he finally allowed his finger to enter her, he found her already wet for him and  _ oh so tight _ . Merlin! 

With a sudden movement, he was on top of her, his body aligning with hers while his fingers kept driving her towards the edge. He would not let her tumble though, not yet.

“Gods Hermione, you have no idea what you’re doing to me,” he said, just as his second finger carefully entered her. She promptly moaned into his mouth, her kisses growing more feverish. He kissed her greedily, his tongue thrusting into her mouth to give her an idea what he truly wanted to do to her, his fingers mimicking the movement. Hermione gasped, her body tensing just before he felt her move against his hand, desperate for the friction it could give her. 

It was more than he could take, her passion and urgency finally cutting the restraints he had placed on himself. Slowly but steadily be removed his fingers and just as she started to protest, he pressed his straining cock against her. 

Hermione stiffened. “I don’t want to get pregnant,” she murmured shyly. “Do you know the spell?”

Severus smiled. “Don’t worry. I am taking a potion to render myself temporarily infertile. Don’t worry, my love.”

Hermione nodded, relief spreading on her face. He took it as a sign to continue.

“I want you to be mine,” he growled into her ear a moment later, applying only the lightest of pressure against her entrance. “Tell me if you want it too. Tell me you truly want to be mine.”

“I want to be yours,” she gasped, her nails digging into the skin of his back. “And I want you to make love to me.”

“And I will,” he promised, his fingers starting to rub her again, just as he started to push forward. He could feel her walls stretch to accommodate him, but just as he felt her stiffening he halted and distracted her with kisses and his fingers. 

“Relax,” he murmured into her mouth, before softly kissing her. “I will not hurt you, my love.”

And he would not, even though his traitorous cock just wanted to slam into her until he found his release. 

Severus did not give in to that urge though, just moved oh so slowly until he was completely buried within her. Gods she was so tight and hot!

“I love you,” he whispered before starting to kiss her again and with every stroke of his tongue he could feel her relax beneath him. It was what he had been waiting for, the sign that she was ready for him to move and to pleasure her. His fingers greedily rubbed her sensitive flesh while he pumped into her, first slowly then faster, as his instincts took over. Luckily she did not seem to mind, her nails raking over his back while her body mimicked his own rhythm, their bodies dancing while ecstasy took hold of them. 

“This feels so good,” his witch moaned, her walls slowly tightening around him. “God, Severus!”

Her words and her tightness were almost too much for him and with a groan his mouth latched to her collar bone, sucking the soft skin to vent some of the pressure building inside him. This would only go for so much longer, he knew, his fingers speeding up to give her the release she yearned for. It came only moments later when she cried out his name, her walls clamping around him while she shuddered through the orgasm gripping her body. Severus needed two more thrusts until he tumbled over the edge as well, the pressure inside him releasing as he pumped his seed inside her, seeing stars while he moaned her name. Then, for a few moments, he knew nothing while he floated in his bubble of bliss, his body sinking down on top of her. He barely managed to roll them over, his cock leaving her as he pulled her against his chest, his hands absent-mindedly stroking her back.

“Thank you, my love,” he found himself murmuring moments after, just as he felt her shift against him. “Are you all right?”

“Perfect,” she answered, her voice a happy sigh.

“Good,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss onto her forehead. Then he found himself relaxing into the mattress, as the exhaustion took over and slowly pulled him into sweet oblivion. It was only minutes until he drifted off and Hermione with him, neither of them aware of the faint blue light engulfing them as they fell asleep in each other’s arms. 

  
  


Sssssss

  
  


When Hermione awoke she first wasn’t sure if it had all been a dream, as their shared dream was still on the very forefront of her mind. Things had bled together as they woke up and for a while, she was not sure where reality began and the dream ended. 

“Good morning, my love.” 

Severus’ voice was deep and full of affection, his lips softly kissing her cheek from behind. “How are you feeling?”

Hermione turned towards him, a smile on her face. “Happy,” she replied, her lips seeking out his for a gentle kiss. “And I’d say it is your fault.”

Severus chuckled into the kiss. “I think I’ll be able to live with that sort of guilt. Are you sore?”

Hermione felt her cheeks flush. “A little. It’s nothing. I am sure it will go away in no time.”

“Well, you do have a potions master as a fiancé, Hermione,” Severus said teasingly and a moment later she could feel him roll over, before she heard him open the drawer of his nightstand. “A light healing potion should do.”

He offered her a small phial and Hermione downed it without hesitation. 

A moment later the soreness was washed away and she could not help but smile. “You are spoiling me, Severus,” she said, earning herself another gentle kiss. 

“I have just gotten started,” Severus rumbled, the unreadable smile on his lips making her wonder what he could be referring to. 


	77. Distrust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll give us a break from smut and give us some plot instead. But the smut will be back, I promise. 
> 
> Thanks to my amazing beta, Justsare, you have another chapter to read today. 

Time had never gone by so slowly, Draco thought during the following weeks. He did his best to be his sneering usual self, and even visited the Room of Requirement twice a week, but he had stopped working on the blasted cabinet and instead spent his time exploring. Crabbe and Goyle mustn’t get suspicious, as their fathers were amongst the Dark Lord’s followers and he could not be sure whether they reported home from time to time. It was likely, he mused, which would make things difficult, once his change of allegiances became known, but he’d cross that particular bridge when it came to it. Severus survived in the castle just fine, after all, and maybe he could be persuaded to help him do the same. Either way, it could not hurt to make a bunch of different friends, inside his own house and outside, but luckily Draco already had two candidates for that in mind. But he would have to tread carefully - in both cases. 

Weasley would be a tricky one. He could tell that the boy had somewhat warmed to him over the preceding weeks, even though they had barely spoken when doing their patrols. But the feelings he radiated had gotten less hostile and more… contemplative, as far as Draco could tell. The boy had also changed, ever since he and his idiotic girlfriend had broken up and he and Potter were back to being besties again. Granger, too, seemed to have at least forgiven the redhead’s idiocy, but he could not tell if they were back to being the Golden Trio again. He somewhat doubted it. 

Still, Weasley could be a useful ally with his connection to Granger, who was now his godfather’s fiancèe. He still wondered how  _ that _ had happened. Knowing Severus Snape, he had never expected the man to settle down, because for a long time it had not seemed like the man’s hardened heart could be warmed by anyone. He had obviously been wrong. It wasn’t that Severus and Granger were overly affectionate in public - there was nothing of that sort. One could have almost thought that it all had just been a joke, but from time to time Draco could spy a tender look in his godfather’s eyes which made him realize that this engagement was a real one. And therefore he had better get on Granger’s good side, which was probably the easiest through Weasley.

“Good thing you finally got rid of that girlfriend of yours,” he said on one of their shared patrols, after they’d been walking for about five minutes. “Did she give you any trouble?”

The redhead shrugged. “Lav’s a petty one. Spending time with her was nice, as long as she did not start to get those fits of jealousy. She hates Hermione with a passion, I can’t even say why. That’s why she is also seeking fault with her and making nasty comments about her choice of men, instead of taking it out on me. She thinks she can get me back that way, but it only makes me despise her more,” the boy said gloomily. 

Huh, that had been easy. Just one small encouragement and Wealey started babbling. Those Gryffindors really wore their hearts on their sleeves. “Women can be like that,” he replied vaguely, slowing his steps so that the redhead would catch up. “Pansy tried the exact same thing, but it totally puts me off when she’s bitching around. Sometimes I think she’s just compensating for something.”

“Probably,” Weasley replied, snorting. “I always wondered: are you and Parkinson an item?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Had been, for some time. But this year I haven’t been in the mood for shackling myself to anybody. The fucks are not worth the emotional ballast that usually is part of the deal.”

His companion made a grunting noise, that he thought was a sign of him agreeing to his statement. It prompted him to go on, asking: “And you and Granger? It seems like you’re back to being besties again.”

At that, Weasley sighed. “Not really, no. We are on friendly terms, I guess, but we aren’t really spending time together. But I guess now that she has  _ Snape _ …”

“Not a fan of this connection, are you? Well, I guess you never liked Snape, to begin with, did you?”

The redhead shrugged. “No, that’s not actually it. It’s just… I  _ get _ why she chose him. She’s always been way more mature than any of us and with her love for books and knowledge… They kind of fit, you know? It’s just ... now that she has him and Zabini, I guess, what does she need me for?”

Draco snorted. “It’s funny, you know? I never thought you Gryffindors ticked like that. I mean, in my house it’s all about having the right connections and friends. We pick our friends for their usefulness. I never expected you to do the same.”

That had gotten the redhead thinking. “Huh. Well, I guess Hermione was a very useful friend, helping with my homework and all that. But I don’t expect her to do that any longer, which is fine. I still want to spend time with her from time to time.”

Draco smirked. “Then maybe you should just tell her that…” he suggested. “It cannot hurt, can it?”

“Huh, that was actually very helpful. Thank you, Malfoy,” Weasley said, smiling. “Wanna check the Astronomy tower next? I bet we’ll find someone up there again, snogging.”

Draco snorted and they went to climb up the stairs. He had the feeling that he’d just taken the first step to making a new friend and it was hard for him to suppress the smile wanting to spread on his face.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  
  


“What do you want?” Blaise asked, staring at the blonde boy with his chin raised in arrogance. He’d been aware of the young Malfoy watching him for several days, checking him out, and that rarely meant anything good. That’s why he finally decided to confront his classmate, once he was sure to meet him in a deserted corridor. 

For a moment the blonde looked taken aback, but then he sighed, saying: “I want to talk, nothing more.”

“Talk then,” he replied, folding his hands in front of his chest while keeping his wand accessible in his sleeve. With a Death Eater scion like him, one could never know. The boy seemed nervous though, Blaise thought detachedly, but he wouldn't fall for it.

“Well… I was wondering…” Malfoy licked his lips. “What are your plans for the summer, Zabini?”

Blaise blinked in confusion. What was that suddenly about? “In case you want to invite me into your home, I must decline - very politely of course. My mother and I plan on spending the holiday in our summer home in Italy.”

“I see,” Malfoy said, unable to hide the glint in his eyes. “What about Greengrass? Plan on taking her along as well? I heard she’s most eager to… get invited.”

Blaise shrugged. “Almost everybody is,” he answered nonchalantly. “But some are more likely to be invited than others,” he replied evenly.

The other boy nodded. “Of course.” 

“Was there anything else you wanted?” Blaise asked, eager to turn away and get back to the common room, or better - the library.

Malfoy shrugged. “You know there’re students in this school unlikely to see the next school year, students that got  _ his _ attention for one reason or another. Did you ever consider inviting some of those abroad?”

Blaise furrowed his brows. “Whom exactly are we talking about?”

Malfoy shrugged, his hands buried in the pockets of his robe. “Well… Susan Bones looks like she’s in need of some time in the sunshine. Maybe the Creeveys could also be a nice addition for your little group. And then there is always Granger…” He trailed off meaningfully. 

Zabini nodded, his mind already analyzing what the other boy had just said. Those kids were indeed better off if they spent their summer holidays as far away from You-Know-Who and his followers as possible. But why had Malfoy pointed that out to him? Was it possible that he was looking for a way to help them? But why would he? Wasn’t the boy a Death Eater himself? The rumours circulating the common room definitely said so.

“I will suggest inviting some more friends to my mother,” Blaise replied carefully. “She might even look forward to some new additions to our guest list. You know how easily bored she is.”

With that, he started to walk away, his hand waving the other boy off. It wouldn’t do for Malfoy to see that he’d actually made a pretty valid suggestion. But what if this was a trap?

Well, it would not hurt to run his little idea through Hermione and get her opinion. It might even get him some bonus points with her and hint towards his true allegiances. Sooner or later they would have to talk about his stance in the war and maybe this was exactly the prompt he needed to start that conversation with her.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Draco had thought he was prepared for what was coming when his godfather rid him from the Dark Mark, but when the man calmly told him that he was about to cut off his left arm, he could not help but stumble a few steps away from the man. For a few moments he hoped his godfather had made a cruel joke, but there was no smile on his face, just a patient, understanding expression. 

“We will regrow your arm of course,” Severus assured him calmly, gesturing towards a phial that rested on the desk in his office. “That will be the painful part though, as I can seal and heal the stump in seconds. But regrowing that arm will take  _ hours _ .”

Draco swallowed heavily, sinking into Severus’ armchair a moment later as he did not trust his legs to keep him upright any longer. “Can you not give me a pain potion or something?” he found himself asking, even though he already guessed the answer. 

“If you want to risk your arm growing back the wrong way, we can do that. But your body needs to be able to  _ feel _ to put everything back in the right place,” Severus explained calmly. 

Draco groaned. He had never been very good at handling pain, even though he had tried to hide this weakness to the best of his abilities. But now there would be no hiding, as he would need his godfather to stay at his side, in case things went pear-shaped. 

“You can always back out,” Severus added, his voice almost gentle. “I would not hold it against you. That potion can be easily sold to St. Mungo’s, in case you are worried about the expenses.”

He hastily shook his head. No, backing out was not an option because he knew that the pain he was in for, if he stayed a Death Eater, would be even worse. “No, I will do it. I imagine there is no other option or you would have gone for that.”

“Of course. I am not a sadist, Draco, even though I have served Lord Voldemort for years. I never enjoyed the pain I inflicted,” his godfather explained, and walked towards him. Draco focussed on him with a panicked expression. Luckily Severus had no wand in hand, but Draco did not doubt that Severus Snape did not need a wand to make you feel pain. He swallowed heavily.

“I will not do this against your will, or even in a moment of surprise. We will want to be as precise as possible and I recommend you lying down, before we start. It is not unlikely for you to pass out at some point,” the man warned, his voice sounding totally untroubled. “And we will not do this in my office,” he added warningly. “We would not want to be discovered during the process.”

“I will not go to the hospital wing,” Draco immediately protested. “I do not want anybody else to see me like that.”

“Of course,” his godfather agreed, nodding. “We will go to my chambers and I will transfigure a bed for you. No one will disturb us, I assure you .”

He nodded, before getting up with a sigh. “Well, I guess there is no use in stalling. Let’s get this over with.”

“Very well,” Severus said before leading him into his living room. And with every step Draco took, he felt more like he was walking towards his execution. Salazar, this would get ugly - he had no doubt about it. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


When Draco awoke in the slim bed hours later, the pain was gone but he was pretty sure his voice was still hoarse from screaming out his agony. Severus had not lied. Never in his life had he experienced something more painful, not even when he was branded a Death Eater. He had probably made it for an hour before he had passed out and in retrospect he was thankful for it, as it had spared him more hours of thrashing and screaming in front of his godfather, who watched him with something like pity. From time to time he murmured words of encouragement that sounded completely foreign from his mouth, as Severus Snape had never been anything but detached from his feelings. Not any longer, he realized, remembering the expression in his eyes, secretly thanking Granger for the change she provoked in his godfather. 

“You are awake.”

That was Severus’ voice, but Draco could not help but note how strange it sounded. He hastily tried to pull himself up on the bed and when he looked around he could see that his godfather was still there, sitting right next to his bed. But when he looked at him, it took all his willpower not to panic, as the man’s face was suddenly devoid of all emotion, leaving nothing but cold calculation behind. It made Draco’s belly clench in dread. 

“What happened?” he found himself asking groggily, his hand tiredly rubbing his forehead. That was when he saw it, the arm that had grown back. It was just the way it had been before, including the ugly Dark Mark mutilating his pale skin. He looked at it in horror. “This cannot be,” he exclaimed, before focussing on his godfather with a disappointed expression. “You said this would work, you  _ promised _ it would!”

“I did no such thing,” Severus Snape answered coldly. “I merely told you that this was how I did it. So tell me Draco: Why did this not work for you? What have you done? Or is it because, secretly, you do not want to switch sides?”

Draco swallowed, the pit in his stomach growing. Fuck. Suddenly he understood the cold detachment Severus suddenly displayed in front of him. It was originating from the distrust he had just sown in the man’s heart.

“No!” he protested, his eyes seeking his godfather out in despair. “I swear I am looking for a way out. I told you under fucking Veritaserum!”

“So you have,” his godfather replied flatly. “Then it must be something you have done,” the man went on, his brows furrowed in concentration. “It is the only explanation.”

Draco shook his head. “No! I have not  _ done  _ anything, well except…” he fell silent.

But Severus did not let him loose. “Yes?” 

“I  _ crucioed _ a woman, on Christmas. I did not want to, but he and aunt Bella forced me to,” he explained, suddenly feeling sick. “Do you mean to say that this somehow… I don’t know… damaged my soul or … hell,  _ I don’t know _ !”

Full of frustration he jumped from the bed, starting to pace the man’s green carpet in agitation. Severus watched him calmly, his eyes giving nothing away.

“I don’t know, Draco,” he said coldly. “But it is obvious that I cannot help you. I am sorry.”

He did not sound sorry, Draco mused. The words were like a slap in the face and he found himself stumbling backwards, away from the man that was supposed to be his ally. It had all been for nothing, he thought as he dashed towards his godfather’s door, unable to remain in his presence any longer. Severus did not hold him back, his black eyes watching him go with a strange expression. He wondered what the man thought, but then again: did it even matter?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	78. Anger management

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again, my friends. I hope you are enjoying this chapter. My friend Justsare helped me to make it even more enjoyable for you. She does that - very brilliantly. 

Hermione had not expected to see Severus tonight, as he had told her that he would have to stay with Malfoy until everything was done. She also knew that she would not be welcome in his chambers until tomorrow, not because Severus did not want her there, but because she was probably the last person Draco wanted to have nearby, while was losing and re-growing his arm - most painfully. Therefore she had gone to bed alone in her private rooms near Gryffindor Tower, Crooks crawling under the covers right next to her. It was the first time in weeks she’d had to fall asleep on her own and in this bed nonetheless, and after a few moments of tossing around, she realized that she hated it. 

After a while, she fell asleep, even if her heart was aching for Severus’ presence. Then suddenly she was awoken by someone crawling into her bed and just as she felt a strong pair of arms closing around her and pulling her close, she realized that it was Severus, seeking out her presence. She just wanted to cuddle into him, when she felt that something was wrong, his body stiff and radiating a tension that was hard to miss. It was what pulled her out of sleep, making her turn around, until she could look at him, or at least try, in the almost pitch-black room. 

“What's wrong?” she mumbled sleepily, just as his mouth crashed against hers, his lips kissing her almost violently. She gasped, her mouth opening ever so slightly, making room for the tongue that entered her a moment later. She felt herself groan, for a moment totally surprised by the intensity of the kiss and the firmness with which he held her. So far Severus had always been gentle, rarely demanding or taking anything from her without making sure that she was okay with it. But today was different,  _ he _ was different, in a way that both scared and aroused her. 

It was only moments until she felt his hands on her bare skin, as he had pulled up her nightshirt to cup her bum and grind his erection into her thigh. She moaned into his mouth, any idea of sleeping wiped from her mind. Severus wanted her, needed her, and she could not help but feel turned on by the urgency with which he touched her. She could already feel herself getting wet for him, even though he hadn’t even done more than touching her arse, but it was like her body felt his need and responded to it on its own. Her arms came to rest against his chest, fisting the silky pyjama top he wore, moaning his name just as he ground into her thigh again. Then his right hand suddenly moved forward, finding her folds, his finger entering her a moment later. He pumped in and out of her a few times, until he suddenly growled into her mouth, his hand leaving her to roughly pull down his own pants. Then he suddenly turned her onto her belly, his one hand pulling her upwards until she knelt in front of him before he entered her with one, bold move. It was almost too much, him filling her so suddenly and from such a new angle, but luckily her body quickly adapted as his hips snapped forward and he moved into her over and over, his strong hands gripping her hips and holding her in place. She moaned, bit her bottom lip in ecstasy until she was sure to taste blood, her body vibrating with the tension building inside her ever so slowly. But then, suddenly, she felt him shudder behind her, heard him crying out her name, his hips snapping forward twice more before he relaxed, pulling her down with him a moment later. There he came to rest unmoving, spooning her from behind while she slowly felt his member relax, his semen trickling out of her while he heavily breathed into her hair. 

For a moment she did not know what to think, confused by the sudden interruption of their love-making, waiting for him to continue where they had left off. But slowly she realized that he did not plan on doing so, his breathing calming, while his hand started to stroke the skin of her arm. She swallowed, frustration welling up inside her, as her body was demanding its release. It was even like she could feel her heartbeat  _ just there _ , her flesh pulsing with a need that would not be fulfilled. 

Hermione closed her eyes as she felt the tears of frustration wallowing up, a lump forming in her throat. No, she would not cry, she swore to herself, just as she took a shaky breath. That was when Severus suddenly moved, rolling her onto her back, his hand gently cupping her cheek while he kissed her forehead. 

“I am sorry,” he whispered against her temple. “Did I hurt you?”

Hermione shook her head, not trusting her voice at the moment. 

“Good,” he replied, kissing her forehead again, before nuzzling her with his nose. “I am an idiot,” he murmured, his forehead coming to rest against hers. “What can I do to make you forgive me?”

Hermoine felt like growling in frustration, as she did not want to talk but for him to take the ache away, that he had left behind. It was a short battle, her shyness and her bodily needs fighting against each other, before her sexual frustration won and she grabbed his hand, just to shove it between her legs. For a moment he did not react, his body growing completely still until he finally understood and started to touch her again. But his touch was gentle, his fingers caressing her pubic hair and her thighs instead of touching her where she most wanted to feel him right now. God, after the way he had just had sex with her, this did not nearly feel enough. 

She groaned. “More,” she demanded, her hips moving forward in the hope that he understood. He did, as she felt him nod next to her, his fingers finally finding her sensitive nub and stroking it. But it still was not enough, not after the overload of sensation she’d just had, with him filling her out like that. Gods!

She told herself to be patient, let him touch her for a while, but it wasn’t working, as she was barely able to feel his fingers at all. No, this would not do, not at all.

“It’s not working,” she finally admitted, the frustration evident in her voice. “Not like this at least.”

Severus did not say anything, but she could feel him nod against her temple before he pulled himself up and crawled between her legs. A moment later he latched onto her with his mouth, sucking her while at the same time rubbing his tongue against her. “Better?” he asked, looking at her with huge, dark eyes. 

She nodded, while simultaneously licking her lips. “Yeah, a little.”

He nodded, his mouth back to sucking her a moment later. Then there were suddenly his fingers, spreading her open to give his tongue better access and suddenly she felt herself groan with pleasure. This was more like it.

Her fingers wandered to his head, threading through his hair and starting to tug, in the hope to show him that she liked his touch and encouraging him to intensify it. Luckily he understood, his tongue licking her enthusiastically as his fingers started to move, first one then two entering her. 

“Yes,” she hissed, her hips moving on their own, in the hope to feel him deeper inside her. It worked, she realized with a moan, repeating the gesture over and over, while the ecstasy in her body started to build up again. But it was like her body could not get enough and with every minute she wound up higher until it was almost too much for her to take. Moaning out and gripping his hair tight was the only way she did not go crazy, giving her body at least  _ some _ release as she felt like she was going to explode any minute. Then finally, the dam inside her broke, and she tumbled downwards, coming violently while screaming his name and spasming on the mattress. He sucked her until it was too much for her to take and she jerked away for him, relaxing on the bed while he pulled her against his chest. Morgana, this had been intense, she mused, just as her breathing started to slow down and she leaned her head against his chest. 

Severus gently kissed her crown, his fingers combing through her hair without him saying a word. But it was all right, she did not feel like talking right now. She just wanted to fall asleep in his arms, while her mind comprehended what had just happened. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


He was a bastard - a selfish, uncaring bastard. He could only hope that Hermione would forgive him after how he had treated her. Salazar, he had been so angry, his feelings looking for a way out and finding none but mindlessly fucking her, uncaring about how she felt or even thinking about her much. He had just focussed on venting his anger and only when his body shuddered in release, the pent up energy slowly dissipating, he had realized what he had done. By then Hermione’s feelings of disappointment and frustration clearly bled through the bond, even though he rarely received any feelings this way. But this time he was, his guilt almost eating him up when he felt her stiffen and shudder in his arms. 

Salazar, he was a monster, so very much like his father that it sickened him to the core. He did not know for sure, but he could imagine that bastard touching his mother in such a way, using her like one would use a whore. Hermione deserved so much better than this, so much better than him. But here they were, three weeks into their relationship which she had naively entered and he had already started hurting her. How much longer until she would realize her mistake or Minerva or Dan would come to demand his head?

The least he could do was grant Hermione her own release, but when he tried to be gentle with her, show her that he could do better, she did not want him to. This whole, horrible encounter was not about making love, this was fucking on its most animalistic level. But who was he to complain when he had been the one setting the tone for the night?

After she finally cried out her release, Hermione soon fell asleep in his arms and, thankful that she did not pull away from him, he held her, even though sleep would not come for him for many hours. Somehow he must have drifted off though, because when he awoke in the morning, Hermione was gone. He had not expected anything else. 

  
  
  


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“Ginny? Can we talk?” 

She had not known who else to go to, who else to talk to about what had happened last night. There was Blaise, yes, but the thought alone of addressing last night with him made her feel like blushing. 

“Girl talk?” Ginny asked, putting aside the book she had been casually reading on her bed. 

Hermione nodded. 

With a grin Ginny motioned to her bed and patted the mattress next to her. “Come on then. Tell me what happened, love, and I will graciously share my wisdom with you.”

She sat down and very carefully warded the bed. She could not have anyone listening in to this particular conversation. Then, for a moment, she hesitated - should she really tell Ginny? - before suddenly everything spilled out of her, her face growing hotter with every word leaving her lips. Ginny listened eagerly, her hand gently patting hers while she smiled at her reassuringly. 

“So…” the redhead finally said, her eyes glowing excitedly. “You liked it, yes?”

Hermione shrugged with a sheepish grin. “Well… yes and no. I liked how it felt when he…” she collected her strength, before she continued. “Fucked me like that. But I didn’t like that he suddenly stopped and only continued to do something, after I asked him to.” She nervously bit her lip. “I just don’t know what that was and… gods, is it wrong that I’m turned on by being taken like that?”

Ginny grinned. “Nope. Why would it? Merlin, I wish Harry would sometimes be more like that. I mean, he’s very eager and everything but… when I imagine Snape coming at me like that.” The girl sighed dreamily. 

“Ginny!” Hermione protested, causing her friend to break out into giggles. 

“What?” she said, not even sounding sorry. “Don’t think I do not see the sex appeal of dark, broody wizards with deep voices!” 

Hermione giggled, the tension suddenly leaving her body. “Well, if you put it like that...” She mumbled, a grin slowly spreading on her face. 

“See? There’s nothing wrong with being turned on by your dark, stormy fiancé, nothing wrong at all. You just need to drill some manners into him.”Ginny winked. “Because leaving a girl all wound up like that, simply is not done. Right?”

“Right,” Hermione replied, feeling reassured. “Thank you for being there for me and for your advice.”

Ginny smiled at her. “Anytime.”

  
  


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When Hermione returned to her room, Severus was gone. Instead, there was a big bouquet of red roses on her night stand and even if there was no note coming with it, Hermione instantly knew who it was from. It was the first time a man had actually gotten her flowers. That alone brought a smile to her face and after taking in the wonderful scent that now filled her room, her heart jumped in excitement and happiness. Even if Severus was not there in person, he still left behind a token of his love.

Severus loved her, she told herself over and over again as she went on with her weekend routine, spending her morning in the library with Blaise, who later on dragged her outside for a walk. For a moment she wanted to resist, but even though everything was still covered in snow, the sun shone brilliantly and considering the rough winters in Scotland it really was an opportunity not to be missed.

And so she spent the afternoon strolling outside, her body warmed by a thick coat and her Gryffindor scarf, while Crooks trailed behind her, his tail erect like a flagpole. 

“Hermione?” her friend said after a while of walking silently next to her. “I was thinking…”

She looked at him with raised brows and an encouraging smile. “Were you?” she asked, a teasing smile blooming on her lips. 

Blaise chuckled. “I am known to do that sometimes. Well.. you see… my mother has a house in Italy. We use it for spending the holidays and from time to time I have been inviting friends over.”

“That’s very kind.”

“I was thinking of doing the same during the summer and... “ He hesitated. “I am sure you are aware that there are people out there who want to hurt you, or others. So… I don’t think it would be wise for you to spend the holidays in Britain. I know you are betrothed now but… if you do not have any other place to go, you will always be welcome to join me abroad.”

Hermione smiled. “That is very kind. But I will probably spend my holidays with my parents. Don’t worry. They are at a safe place,” she assured him, when she saw his eyes widening in alarm. “But there might be others that could use a safe place to stay. There are so many muggleborns at the school and some of them might not even realize what danger they are in.”

Blaise nodded. “I know. I cannot invite them all, though, and definitely not their parents, without raising suspicions. The Zabinis try to stay as neutral as possible, even though I want you to know…” he hesitated again. “When the day comes I will support you, Hermione; you and the others.”

“Thank you, Blaise,” she said and rising to her toes she pulled him into a spontaneous hug. “This means so much to me. You really are a true friend.”

“I am trying to be,” he replied and patted her back. “Because it is what you deserve.”

Hermione smiled happily. “As do you, Blaise, as do you.”

  
  


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Severus watched Hermione going through her day from afar, watched her eat with her friends and stroll across the Hogwarts ground, with Zabini, that cad. He still did not trust him, but he kept his hands to himself, apart from a friendly hug he could say nothing against. His body ached for her, longed for her forgiveness and her touch, but he would not force himself on her and instead wait until she came to him. Luckily she did, shortly after dinner, finding him in his living room where he had been running holes into the carpet. As soon as she stumbled out of his fireplace he stopped in his tracks, staring at her nervously.

“Hermione.” There was nothing else he knew to say.

“Severus.” Her voice seemed breathless, he thought, but there was no indication of her being angry. “Thank you for the flowers.”

“They were the least I could do,” he admitted, before carefully walking towards her. “Still, I owe you an apology, Hermione. I should never have treated you like that.”

“Treated me how, exactly?” she asked, a hint of confusion in her voice. 

He winced. She wanted him to say it and he could not fault her. “I was too rough. I used you to vent my anger, Hermione, when I should have found another way to release it. You deserve someone who is loving and gentle instead of behaving like a wild animal.”

Hermione stared at him with an unreadable gaze, her eyes studying him with an intensity that made him feel exposed. Finally she shook her head, saying: “I don’t want  _ someone _ , Severus. I told you it is you I want. Apart from that…” she swallowed, the tips of her ears reddening. “I did not mind you being rough, I actually quite liked it. I only wish you had continued a while longer, until…” She broke off, but she did not need to say anything more.

“You…” he shook his head in disbelief, unable to comprehend what she had just said. “You liked it?” he repeated, taking two more steps, until he suddenly stood in front of her. 

Hermione nodded, her lip disappearing between her teeth. “I did. I would not mind if you…” She closed her eyes for a moment. “...if you fucked me again like you did last night. I am not a fragile flower or a child. And seeing you like that, wild and unhinged, does things to me…”

He saw her swallow, her breathing quickening just as her eyes travelled to his mouth. The signs were clear, she was aroused and had meant what she had just said - a realization that went straight to his groin. 

“You want to be fucked,” he growled, closing the last distance between them, his mouth crushing hers. “Want me to take you like I did yesterday,” he rumbled, while moving forward, backing her against the armchair in the corner of the room. She squeaked, when her legs connected with it and she lost her balance, falling down on it only for him to climb on top of her. He could smell her arousal, see her blown pupils and the way she bit her lips. It made something inside him go feral, demanding to give her exactly what she… no,  _ they, _ desired. 

“I do,” she croaked, gasping when he wordlessly vanished her clothes, leaving his untouched. He would shed his clothes soon enough, but for now he had to make sure to give her a good head start, before he lost himself in the sensation of her tightness again, when the animal inside him took the lead.

He took her in with his eyes, her tight breasts with their rosy nipples; the way she clutched the armrests of the armchair with her hands while her breathing came in short gasps. The picture of her slightly spread legs did things to him he had never experienced before, the beast inside him demanding to take her right now until she was hoarsely screaming his name. 

He rubbed his clothed erection against her core, his mouth sucking her pulse point, noting the elevated heart rate. “Do you want me to take you right here?” 

She nodded shakily.

“Say it!” he demanded, his voice rougher than it had ever been with her. 

“I want you to… to fuck me right here,” she dutifully repeated and he rewarded her by rubbing his erection once more against her center. 

Hermione whimpered, her legs spreading further while her arms came around his neck, her mouth trying to catch his lips. He stayed out of reach though, his lips and teeth attacking her neck and earlobes while he continued to wind her up, until her cheeks were rosy and his trousers wet from her honey. 

“Do you want me to fill you up? Do you want me to fuck you until you forget your own name?” he teased, his thumb circling her clit. 

She nodded, her nails digging into the skin of his neck. “Do it, Severus, please do it.”

He sent her a dark smile, a wandless spell vanishing his clothes, allowing him to enter her only a moment later. She gasped in surprise and he drank in her expression as his hips snapped forward again and again, making sure to hit just the right spot. She squealed, moaned, gripped his upper arms in a way that probably left bruises on his pale skin, while her legs closed around his hips, giving him even better access. He shamelessly took advantage of the new angle, buried himself inside her as deep as he could while his thumb searched for her sensitive nub, finding it with practised ease. 

“Gods, yes,” she moaned, her hips coming to meet him halfway, imitating his rhythm. She liked this, really liked this, he realized as he felt her walls grow tighter, squeezing him, while her sweet little mouth encouraged him to drive her higher, possess her in a way he had never dared to possess anybody before. Soon he felt the pressure inside him build up, his focus shifting downward, unable to concentrate on much more than his own release. Afraid that he would miss her again, he rubbed her faster, his mouth sucking the skin on her neck, bruising it to give the tension inside him at least some release, distracting him enough to keep going a while longer. Then, suddenly, she came, screaming his name and squeezing him tight and he was only too happy to let go, spilling himself inside her a moment later while he silenced her with a kiss.

Then his world went white, his ears rushing as the pent up energy streamed out of his body, making him crumble on top of her bonelessly, unable to keep himself upright any longer. She welcomed him with open arms, her mouth kissing his exposed shoulder giddily just as he felt them slide downwards, towards his carpet. Luckily his reflexes kicked in and he caught her, lowered her softly to the ground where he pulled her against his naked chest. Kissing her forehead softly, he summoned a blanket from the sofa and covered their naked bodies. Hermione smiled at him happily, her eyes radiating love and acceptance in a way that made his heart ache.

“Was that what you had in mind?” he whispered into her ear, his nose nuzzling her curls. 

She shuddered. “It was.”

“Good,” he replied, his mouth finding her lips in a searing kiss. And when she kissed him back with a happy smile on her lips, he once more realized what a lucky bastard he was.

  
  


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	79. Making a difference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is approaching and soon I and my family will be travelling. I am not sure how this will affect my update schedule or my pace of writing. We’ll see. For now, I do have the next chapter for you. It was again betaed by the kind and brilliant Justsare. Enjoy!

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me, witch, do you?” Severus murmured into her ear a while later, after she had somewhat recovered from the high. “You truly are a miracle, Hermione Granger.”

Hermione smiled, her index finger lazily tracing his bottom lip. “I don’t think you’re very objective right now, Severus. But honestly, I don’t care.” She sighed and gently kissed him. “This was… mind-blowing. I never expected…”

He nodded. “Me neither. This is not how I want it to be every time, though. I love holding you in my arms, enjoying your warmth while slowly making love to you.”

“As do I. But once in a while…” she trailed off. 

“I understand, my love. And I appreciate that I do not have to hide from you, when I am in  _ that _ particular mood. But please, should I ever hurt you…  _ say something _ .”

“Of course.”

For a while they just lay there, bathing in each other’s presence, until Hermione finally found the courage and asked: “Severus? What happened yesterday? Is Malfoy all right?”

Her fiancé sighed. “He made it through the procedure just fine. Only… his Dark Mark is still there, Hermione, it did not disappear like mine did.”

Her eyes widened. “His arm grew back with the Mark still on it? How?”

“I wish I knew…” Severus grumbled, burying his nose in the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply. “I was so sure I could trust him. I used my best Veritaserum on him, after all. But what if his loyalty is still with Voldemort? It could be a reason for the reappearance of the Dark Mark.”

Hermione carefully considered his words. “How could he have lied to you, though? You are a Legillimens, Severus. And even if you did not cast the spell on him, you’ve known him for years. Apart from that, you were a spy for... how long? Don’t you think you would have noticed if something was amiss?”

“One should think so,” Severus replied. “But what else could it be? I cannot imagine that he had loaded more guilt onto his young soul than I have. I have been a Death Eater for years, Hermione, and he only served that bastard for a few months. And no matter what you might think about him, he is not a cruel person.”

Hermione nodded contemplatively. “Then let us assume it was not his fault,” she said, arranging the puzzle pieces in her head. “What differences were there between yours and his predicament?”

“We immediately regrew his arm, while I waited for several weeks to do so with mine,” he started, analytically.

Hermione nodded. “But you used the exact same potion. Did you give him anything for the pain?” 

“No. He passed out before even reaching the elbow. I told you that taking away the pain could lead to faulty results, which is why I advised him to not take anything.”

Hermione considered this. “But… we  _ did _ lessen your pain. In fact, I did. Could it have been our bond affecting your recovery? What if your Mark would have come back as well, without the influence of the White Magic, I mean.”

“Merlin, of course!” Severus exclaimed. “How did I not consider this? It makes total sense for white Magic to cleanse one of the bond partners. But… if that truly is the case, there is no chance we can help him. Poor boy.”

“What if there is?” Hermione asked, her forehead furrowed in concentration. “We helped Harry too, did we not? Do you think there is a way we could counteract this form of Dark Magic as well?”

“There might or might not be one. But would you be willing to risk it, for Draco Malfoy, of all people? Harry was your friend, and dying…” he remarked, his hand coming to rest on her cheek.

“How long do you think Draco will have when staying a Death Eater? Months? Years?” Hermione observed while leaning into his touch. “Apart from that, he is your godson, is he not?”

Severus looked at her with a headshake and a wistful smile. “You really are a saint, Hermione. The boy had nothing for you but disdain and you are still willing to help him. Are you aware that we would have to tell him at least part of our secret if we really attempted to cure him together?”

“Only if we really found a way to do so. And who knows if we will discover something. There is not much known about White Magic, is there?” 

Severus nodded. “Indeed, there is not. But I guess it is worth looking into if you are indeed willing to try.”

“It is the right thing to do, is it not?” 

Severus chuckled. “Why did I know that’s what you would say?”

  
  
  


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Something was happening, Albus thought, watching Draco Malfoy disappear into Severus’ office and reappear a few hours later. He had kept an eye on the boy during those last months, on him and other inhabitants of the castle, because something was going on; he could feel it in his old bones. Yes, Slughorn had been under the Imperius, but not all incidents could be explained by his actions. There were still the questionable objects that had been placed on Miss Granger’s bed - those especially had gotten him thinking. 

Apart from her, only two persons had had access to that room, he himself, and Severus Snape. It was impossible of course, as Severus had proved to be loyal to him... or had he? The only thing the man had proved was that he was not a loyal Death Eater, but that did not mean he could not follow his very own agenda. He was a Slytherin, after all, and they were known to first think about themselves. So, what if Severus had indeed snuck into Miss Granger’s room, unsettling her by placing those objects? It had driven her further into his arms, Albus had even helped him do it. Recently he had even secured the girl’s hand by making her agree to an engagement. Could he have planned that all along? But why did he see the need to keep his plans secret from him, then?

There was only one answer: Severus was following his very own plans, plans Albus would not approve of. At first, all he could do was warn Miss Granger and keep watching, ready to intervene whenever the need should arise. But for weeks nothing happened and Severus, as well as the girl, seemed genuinely happy. Still, there was this nagging feeling in the back of his mind that just  _ would not go away _ ; the feeling that there was a traitor in the castle, and Albus was determined to find him - and take him out.

  
  
  


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It had all been for nothing, Draco realized as he dragged himself through the next days and weeks. The damned Dark Mark was back on his arm, the arm he had painfully regrown with the help of the only person he had trusted to somehow get him out of this mess. But Severus had failed, his cold reaction somehow implying that this was his fault. Maybe it was, even though Draco had no idea how. 

Thank god no one had discovered his plans to desert the Death Eaters’ ranks; otherwise, he’d probably be dead already, or tortured into insanity. At least in that respect, Severus had been helpful, even though that did not really cheer him up. What was he supposed to do now? 

He felt paralyzed, defeated, and all he did was watch, noting how Dumbledore looked at him strangely and how Weasley more and more tried to have conversations with him during their patrol rounds. It could not hurt to be sociable towards him, as long as it was not discovered, just in case he would find a way out and live to see the next year.

“Master Severus wants to see Mister Malfoy.” He had just made it into the Room of Requirement, upholding the farce of trying to find a way into and out of Hogwarts, when a blonde, batty-eared house-elf appeared. “Pretty is to escort Mister Malfoy to Master Severus’ chambers, without anyone seeing,” the creature explained, lilac eyes focussing on him with determination. Severus had an elf? He hadn’t been aware, but it wasn’t like it mattered. His godfather wanted to see him, secretly; a realization that made hope bloom in his chest. 

“Take me to him then,” he said, putting as much arrogance into his voice as he could muster. “We would not want to make him wait, would we?”

In the blink of an eye, he was gone, reappearing in Severus’ private quarters, but to his dismay, they were not alone. Granger was there as well, sitting on the sofa, balancing a book on her knees. As soon as his feet connected with the floor, she looked up, and to his bewilderment, she smiled.

“Malfoy is here,” she shouted over her shoulder, in the direction of the bathroom, before putting her book aside and getting up. “Make yourself comfortable,” she said, motioning towards the armchair like she owned the place. But he guessed in a way she did. “Severus will be with us shortly.”

Draco nodded while looking at her sceptically. “You plan on staying,” he observed, trying to sound as neutral as possible. 

“I do. If you are willing to listen to what we have to say, you will understand why.” She seemed calm, no animosity visible on her face, and with a sigh, he followed her invitation and sat down. 

It was only minutes until Severus strolled out of the bathroom, his hair still wet from the shower, but otherwise impeccably dressed; minutes he and Granger spent in awkward silence. “Draco,” he said, walking over to the sofa where Granger was now sitting again, greeting her with an affectionate smile. It was the first time he really saw them interact, and in a way that smile and the looks they exchanged were more private than anything he had ever witnessed between his parents. “I am glad you decided to join us. For the last few weeks, Hermione and I have been doing some research, and we might have a solution for you. Before we can say anything on that matter though, we need an Unbreakable Vow from you, that you will not share the information you are about to learn, with  _ anyone,  _ as this secret is of utmost importance to us.”

Draco contemplated this, the idea of making an Unbreakable Vow to Granger, of all people, making him feel sick to the core. He did not trust her, they never had been on good terms, but he was also aware that he needed her if he was looking for a way out of this mess. Apart from that, there was not much he had to lose. He was good at keeping secrets, especially as he planned to never again return to the Dark Lord, who would have been able to rip them from his mind. Still, he needed to be careful. “What if the secret is exposed through Legillimency or torture? I do not fancy dying, especially not if it is not my fault. Is there no way to lock that secret away, make me physically incapable of disclosing it?”

He saw them exchange a glance, Severus nodding a moment after. “It could be done through a Blood Contract, if that is what you prefer.”

“It is. Do it. And then tell me what all of this is about and how Granger is fitting into the picture.”

To say the evening took an unexpected turn of events would have been a vast understatement. The story he was told was a wild one, especially the part about saving bloody Potter from dying through a botched up  _ Avada _ , but he could tell Severus was completely serious and so was Granger. Still, he had never heard of Kindred Magic, but given their statement on how rare it was, it maybe was not surprising, as was the fact that they wanted to keep it a secret.

“And you think this could cure me?” he asked, doubtfully. “How?”

It was Granger who answered him. “As far as we know, we can only cast White Magic on each other - or at least we have not found out how to expand it to others. But there is a spell to connect your magic and body to one of us and to transfer the Dark Magic to that person, in the hope that it can then be cleaned away.”

“I will not connect myself to you,” he stated, horrified by the idea alone. 

Luckily she did not seem offended, but nodded with a smile. “I did not expect you to. Severus is the better choice here, as he is already familiar with the Dark Mark and is willing to get rid of it for you.”

Only then he understood what it was they suggested. “You’d cut off your arm again,” he asked in disbelief. “You would risk being connected to  _ him _ again, just to help me?”

Severus nodded. “I was told it was the right thing to do,” he said, throwing the woman at his side a loving smile. “And you  _ are _ my godson, after all. So? Are you willing to give this a try?”

Draco swallowed, overwhelmed by gratitude and fear. The choice was an easy one nonetheless. “Of course. If you are willing to risk it, so am I. When did you plan on doing it?”

At that, Hermione smiled. “That depends. We have another suggestion for you, one concerning your mother. There might be a way to save her,” she said, smiling shyly. 

Suddenly his whole focus was on her, his own problems forgotten. “Tell me how,” he demanded. And she did. 

  
  


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When the owl with the letter arrived at breakfast, Narcissa could tell that all eyes were suddenly on her. She rarely got letters these days, the only one still writing to her being Draco, and even his letters had gotten more and more rare with the pressure on him increasing. Narcissa kept them all, read them several times to memorize every word because there was no saying how many more letters she would get from her beloved son, or if she would ever see him again. 

The letter was not from Draco, though, but from Gringotts, which rarely meant any good news. Narcissa opened it and read it with shaking fingers.

“There’s been a break-in into our vault,” she finally announced, her voice hollow. “They told me to come and see if anything went missing, as most of the things still seem to be there.”

There were whispers all around the long table, Bellatrix’ eyes darting to the Dark Lord, who studied her with red eyes and steepled fingers. A moment later he stretched them out towards her and Narcicca felt the letter being pulled out of her fingers, floating towards her  _ guest _ to be examined by him. 

“Those are indeed concerning news,” he finally announced, his eyes focussing on her. “See that you take care of this immediately, Narcissa. And make sure to be most thorough, when going through your possessions. If something went missing, we need to know.”

“Of course, Master,” she agreed, bowing her head. “I will go right after breakfast.”

“Excellent,” the man said, stroking the head of his familiar, which graced his side most of the time. “See that you do, and make sure to report to me right away, when you are finished.”

Narissa swallowed. Why did the man suddenly have such an interest in the contents of the Malfoy family vault? Wasn’t it enough that he already took possession of her home - and her son?

  
  


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She hadn’t even made it into the bank, her body being hit by a stunner right as she made the first steps on the large stairs leading towards the building. Narcissa did not even feel like her body hit the ground, nor how she was apparated away a moment after. When she woke up, she was not at the bank, nor in any other place she knew. Her body was bound to an uncomfortable wooden chair, her arms fixed on her back. The room around her was small, probably a basement, the stone walls only lit by a single candle. In front of her sat two men, a third one standing in the back of the room, his body and face hidden by a hooded, black cloak. 

“Narcissa.” She would have known that voice anywhere, as the man had been a frequent guest in her house. Not any longer, though, and encountering him now, after he had fled from her and her sister so many months ago, could only mean she was in for trouble.

“Severus,” she greeted as calmly as she could. It would not help to show fear now and whatever he did to her could not be worse than anything that was waiting for her at home. “What do you want?”

The man’s black eyes stared at her calmly, while the redhead next to him started to shift. Even though she did not exactly know him, she was sure it was a Weasley, going by the hair colour and the freckles peppering his skin. 

“I merely invited you for a friendly chat,” her husband’s former friend said, his tone making a small shiver run down her spine. She had always known that Severus Snape was a dangerous man, but she had never expected to experience it first hand. 

“I have nothing to say to you,” she said coldly and raised her chin. “Not after you abandoned Draco and left him to his fate.”

The figure in the background shifted again and after a moment she saw it approach, pushing the hood back. “In fact he has not, mother,” her son said, his grey eyes looking at her unreadably. “And neither has he abandoned you, as it was his idea for how to get you out of there.”

Narcissa sat there, staring at her son with a mix of happiness and panic. “Draco! What in Merlin’s name are you doing here? Have you lost your mind? He will kill you when he finds out about this…” she gasped, desperately wanting to reach for him. But her hands were tied back, preventing her from moving at all. 

Her son shrugged. “He will kill me no matter what, mother. Look what happened to you, or father. No, I have made my choice and you will have to make your choice as well.”

Narcissa stared at him with wide eyes. “What choice?” 

This time it was Severus answering. “Do you want to go back to him, knowing that your son has defected his ranks, and awaiting the punishment Lord Voldemort has in store for you? Do you want to keep supporting him, watch him tear your home apart, live off the wealth the Malfoy family has accumulated over centuries?” the man asked, his voice challenging. 

“What other choice do I have? Where else would I go?” she found herself asking, looking from one man to the other. 

At that, Severus' mouth twitched. “That depends on whether we can trust you, Narcissa. Are you willing to be questioned under Veritaserum or make an Unbreakable Vow that you will not turn against us?”

She steeled her back and raised her chin. “What if I do?”

Severus smiled. “Then I do have several options for you.”

One look at her son’s hopeful expression was enough to melt her resistance. This morning she had not even been sure to see him again. How could she turn down this chance for a future that had both of them alive and happy, no matter how slim it was? And maybe, just maybe, Severus could indeed make a difference? Draco at least seemed to trust him, to believe that he could help them out of this mess. 

“Do it,” she finally said, her eyes focussing on Severus. “I have nothing left to lose.”

Draco broke out into a smile, his arms closing around her in an embrace. She blinked away a lonely tear, as he had not shown her this kind of affection in years. And suddenly she knew that she had made the right choice, regardless of the final outcome. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	80. Sacrifices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst, blood, torture, character death
> 
> A.N.: This might be my last chapter for a few days. I will be travelling for a week and I might not have the chance to write, or post. I wish you all a good week and I’ll see you, as soon as I can. Stay healthy!
> 
> This chapter has been betaed by my friend Justsare.

Severus could not believe he was doing this, but here he was, sitting across from his godson, pointing his wand at the boy’s marked forearm. The few months since he had gotten rid of his own connection to Lord Voldemort were the happiest he’d ever had in his life, and here he was, risking all of it for a boy, that he had not even particularly cared about a few months ago. But things had changed ever since Hermione had stepped into his life and thawed his frozen heart, making him realize that he indeed felt affection for the boy that had looked at him in adoration when everybody else just seemed disgusted or unnerved by his presence. This whole situation was not Draco’s fault, and now he was determined to do for the boy what no one would have ever done for him. He could only hope that his plan worked out.

Draco was nervous, his skin even more pale than usual while he was staring at him and Hermione, who was seated to his left. The boy had pulled up his left sleeve, exposing his marked skin, even though he was probably uncomfortable with Hermione seeing it. Severus knew he would have been, being in his position. Well, soon he would be, he mused. 

“Are you ready?” Severus finally asked, his own pulse quickening with the realization of what he was about to do to himself. 

“I am,” Draco confirmed, while Hermione stayed silent, watching them attentively. 

“Good.” Severus took a deep breath, before he took the boy’s hand with his left one, pointing his wand at the boy’s Dark Mark. “ _ Adunare _ .”

The effect on him was instantaneous , his conscience shifting into Draco for a split second, leaving his body behind, before it shifted back, his left arm burning painfully from the Dark Mark he had just received. It felt like when he first got marked by the Dark Lord, the pain nauseating, leaving the feeling of being tainted, burning in a way that left the sensation of ants crawling below his skin.

He felt himself being pulled back into the past, feeling his legs go numb from kneeling on the cold stone floor for hours, while his body was suddenly gripped by an agony that he had never before experienced in his life. He tried to hold on to the memory of Hermione, the happiness he had experienced through her. In the end it was the touch of her hand on his wand arm that pulled him back into reality and drove the pain away. He became aware of Draco’s gasp and Hermione’s warmth that pulsed through his veins, but just as he wanted to say something, he felt the Mark burn in pain once more, like it had done when the Dark Lord had been calling for him. And that was when he knew that his torture had just begun, because the bastard could feel who he was connected to and whom he had lost. He must have felt that the connection to Draco had just been broken, while he was suddenly re-connected to him. 

“Hermione,” he gasped, ripping his hand away from his godson, his right hand starting to claw at the skin of his arm, in the futile hope to make the pain go away. But the Dark Mark could not be removed that easily. “Hermione, please…” 

Severus’ voice was trembling with pain and he could feel the tears springing to his eyes, not caring if anyone saw them. “Cut it off…  _ now _ !”

For an agonizing moment nothing happened, his heart panicking because he knew he would not make it much longer, the Dark Lord determined to kill him, getting his late revenge. Then, suddenly he felt Hermione shift, heard her cast the spell and heard the thunk, as his arm fell to the table. There was a short moment of relief and a shocked gasp from Draco, before he felt the pain from the loss of his limb, greeting him like an old friend. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to collect his strength, before attempting to heal himself, because he only had moments before the blood-loss would kill him. But Hermione was faster, pulling his head back before emptying a bottle of healing potion into his mouth, the pain dulling as the stump sealed itself off. Thank Merlin for his quick-witted, brave Gryffindor!

He felt his body slump sideways, coming to rest against his witch’s body, his ears buzzing, alerting him that he was close to fainting. If he had been alone he would have denied his body the release, pulled himself up with every fibre of strength left in his body. But with Hermione at his side, he allowed himself the moment of weakness and rest, knowing that she would take care of him and be there when he woke up. He trusted her with his life, knowing that he could.

  
  


Sssssssss

  
  


“Malfoy!” Hermione shouted, desperately trying to hold Severus' body upright and keep him from hurting himself by keeling over from the chair. “Help me!”

She heard the boy scramble to his feet, hurrying towards them with quick steps, and a moment later Severus' weight shifted, as the boy stabilized her fiancé on the chair. “Could you keep him upright so I can get up to levitate him towards the bed?” she asked, her breathing still heavy from the moment of pain, the stress and the panic that had gripped her when witnessing the pain Severus had been in first hand- and from being forced to amputate his arm. Merlin, they had talked about that particular option, had practised the spell, but she had always hoped that Severus would do the deed himself, like he had done the first time. Merlin, she would probably never forget the sight of his arm detaching itself from his body, blood pouring from the wound as the lost limb fell to the table. It was the stuff horror movies were made of, and even though she had known what would happen, she could still barely stomach it. 

“Malfoy!” The boy did not move, did not reply, and when she checked on him, she saw him staring numbly at the table, fixated on Severus' left arm, which was still lying on top of it. She wanted to scold him, for losing his focus, but then she became aware of the Dark Mark, still shifting and winding itself on the pale skin until it started to blacken, the smell of burning flesh filling the room. 

“He’s trying to torture him,” the boy croaked a moment later and Hermione watched in horror, as the arm started to twitch and smoke, tiny black snakes crawling out of the cut line. “Fuck!”

Suddenly Malfoy sprung to attention, dragging his godfather’s body away from the table and the snakes, Hermione following him slowly while trying to fight off the growing number of snakes with her wand. “They’re trying to get him!” She realized in horror, seeing them fall onto the carpet and crawl towards them one by one. She had no doubt that a bite from them was poisonous, probably enough to kill any of them. This was magic of the darkest kind and she had no idea how to face it. DADA had not prepared her for this; neither had Severus mentioned the possibility of something like it happening. 

Hermione knew she had no chance, and neither had Malfoy, who seemed almost paralysed with panic. She could not fault him, but there was no way she was going to die here and leave Severus to his fate.

“Fiercely! Pretty! Help!”

She had barely spoken the words when her house-elves appeared, their magic rushing towards the snakes almost immediately. Hermione found herself stumbling back, torn between staying at Severus’ side and staying back to make sure that the elves were fine. It was an impossible decision and therefore she lingered in between, watching the situation while Draco had almost reached the bedroom door. But no, she could not leave Severus alone, while being in such a helpless state. She would need to trust the elves, which were hired for her protection, to be actually able to protect them from this kind of magic. 

Hastily she turned around and hurried towards Severus’ bedroom. She banged the door closed, and making a quick decision she started to ward it, with every protective spell that came to her mind. Severus’ chambers were well protected; whatever this magic was, would not get out into the castle, but as it seemed to be after Severus specifically, she would try to protect her mate in any way available to her. 

When she finished her warding, Severus already rested on his bed, Draco sitting by his side with a lost expression. His eyes were fixed on Severus’ stump, and even though Hermione had seen the man like this before, the sight made her heart hurt for him. Back then, when her feelings for him weren’t as strong, it was easier to take. 

“I cannot believe he did this for me,” Malfoy mumbled just as she walked closer. “For a long time I thought he did not care for me at all. But now I know otherwise.”

“Some people just have more difficulties showing affection than others,” she stated, carefully sitting down on the mattress. “It does not mean they do not care.” Her hand wandered to Severus' face, gently cupping his cheek. She did not care that she was being watched. Her touch had always helped her mate, and she hoped it would do so now as well. 

“Indeed, it does not.” 

They sat in silence for the next several minutes, both of them focussed on Severus. Therefore it took them a moment to notice the quiet pop in the back of the room.

“It is done, Mistress,” Fiercely’s voice exclaimed, and when Hermione turned towards him, she could see the male elf standing there, a strange look on his face. “Master and Mistress is safe now. The evil magic will not harm them any longer.”

Hermione nodded, her shoulders sagging with relief. “Thank Merlin. Thank you so much, Fiercely. Are you all right?”

The elf nodded. “Fiercely is unharmed, mistress. Pretty claimed the honour of sacrificing herself for Master and Mistress.” It was like he had dumped a bucket of cold water over her head, her heart missing a beat as she grasped the meaning of his words. 

“What do you mean  _ sacrifice _ ?” Hermione asked, even though she already guessed the answer. “Is she…”

Fiercely nodded with a dark expression. “This curse was designed to kill, mistress. It could not be blocked or countered. It had to find a victim, otherwise it would not have disappeared. Fiercely knows it would not have.”

_ No. Please no.  _

The words repeated themselves over and over in her head, the dread she felt growing until she could no longer hold back a sob. Before she knew it, she dashed towards her servant, her  _ friend _ , her arms coming around him for a teary hug.

“I’m so sorry,” she assured him. “I had no idea this would happen. I should not have left you alone, I should have sent for the Headmaster…” 

“Don’t be an idiot,” Malfoy's voice chided her from behind. “The curse only latched to a house elf, because it could not find a human victim. If you had stayed, you’d be dead now.”

Fiercely nodded. “The boy is right. Master would never have forgiven us. Pretty and Fiercely would have never forgiven themselves if they had failed to protect their young mistress. They would have been very bad elves.”

“But…” Hermione sniffed, carefully letting go of her protector. 

“You did very well,” Draco said to Fiercely in her stead, and for a moment she wanted to tell the obnoxious boy to shut up. 

But then she decided against it. “You are a very good elf, Fiercely, the best I could wish for, and so was Pretty.” She sobbed. “I cannot believe she is gone. What… is there anything I can do for you?”

Fiercely looked at her with a serious expression. “Fiercely asks permission to bury Pretty with the other Hogwarts elves. Fiercely is aware that the castle is only his temporary home now, but it is the only home Pretty ever knew.”

Hermione swallowed, the tears unashamedly flowing down her face now. She did not hold them back, determined to let the other elf see how much she cared. Because she did, her insides being ripped apart by grief and guilt. “Of course you can bury her here, with the other elves,” she answered, her voice barely more than a whisper. 

“Thank you, Mistress. Mistress is being very generous. Fiercely will go right away then and return when it is done. It will not be long,” he promised, bowing deeply. 

“Take as long as you need,” she told him, her voice sounding hoarse. “That is an order. I will call for you, if we need help. Do not worry and take your time to say goodbye to your friend.”

“Yes, Mistress; thank you, Mistress,” Fiercely said, bowed deeply, and with a pop he was gone. The second he was gone the dam inside her broke, more sobs escaping her, while she knelt on the floor, her tears dripping into the green carpet. No matter what they had said, this was her fault and the guilt already started eating her up. They should have planned this better, gotten some more backup or… Now it was too late for making plans - now Pretty was gone. 

“Dying in protection of their master is the greatest honour for a house-elf,” Malfoy assured her in a serious tone. “Your elf will be envied by many, Granger, even though that probably is of no comfort to you right now. But it is the truth.”

Hermione believed him, but he was right. It did not make her feel better, not right now and maybe not ever. Pretty had been her friend and Hermione was sure that there would not be a single day, when she would not miss her.

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


When Severus awoke, the first thing he became aware of was Hermione’s hand on his arm. Her fingers were warm and gentle, resting just above his pulse point. He could feel her magic hum inside his body, healing and strengthening him and making him feel protected. She had done it, she had kept him alive and safe as he knew she would.

The second thing he registered was his missing arm, the pain from the amputation gone, but the feeling of missing an important part of himself remaining. He did not look forward to regrowing it, but he would have to do so - tonight - if he did not want questions being asked. And he would prefer to not let the old meddling fool know what they had done to help his godson, because Dumbledore would not like that he had taken a valuable chess piece out of his grasp. 

Without making a sound or moving his limbs Severus opened his eyes, his eyes only blinking a short moment against the dim light the few candles on the walls offered. It was enough for him to see but not enough to blind him, another detail he was sure he had Hermione to thank for.

“Severus.” 

Of course his mate had noticed that he had woken up, as her eyes had probably watched him without pause. He focussed his eyes on her face, taking in the blotched skin and the reddened eyes, his mind already analysing what could have gotten her in such a state. Had she been worried about him? Or had something else happened, something he was not aware of.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’ve had worse,” he said dryly, but the smile he attempted turned into a grimace. “Still I cannot wait to get this over with as soon as possible.” 

Hermione nodded and threw him a watery smile. 

“And you?” Severus found himself asking his godson, who sat at the other side of his bed, grey eyes staring at him, full of emotion. “Did it at least work?”

The boy nodded, slowly pushing back his crisp white shirt, exposing his now unblemished, creamy white skin. Severus sighed in relief.

“Good. I would have hated if this had been for nothing. But obviously at least the first part of our plan worked.”

At that Draco’s eyes shifted to Hermione and when Severus’ gaze followed his direction, she saw that Hermione cast her eyes down, suddenly avoiding his. He frowned.

“Or… did something go wrong?” he paused, waiting for one of them to answer. But neither of them did and so he focussed his full attention on Hermione, his remaining hand reaching out for her face. “Hermione? What happened?” 

At that a lonely tear rolled down her cheek. He caught it with his thumb, carefully wiped it away, not caring what his godson might think of it. Now that the boy seemed out of danger he could not pay him any mind, not with Hermione being in such a state of distress. 

“Voldemort must have cursed you through the Dark Mark. I think I … removed your arm just right in time, as… god, _ I don’t know _ . I’ve never seen anything like it.”

She looked at him with a lost expression, more tears following the one she had already shed. “Suddenly there were little black snakes crawling towards us, trying to reach you. I did not know what to do…”

Severus’ heart sunk, fearing for them even though they now both sat here, seeming fine. Or were they? “Did they bite you? Either of you?” he asked, his eyes pressing for a speedy answer. 

Hermione shook her head. “I called the elves for help. They were hired for my protection and as none of my spells seemed to work…” she tried to explain, her voice getting more and more desperate. And suddenly Severus understood, his heart sinking as he understood the source of Hermione’s misery. Of course, the elves…

“Draco?” he asked, his black eyes focussing back on his godson. “Would you mind leaving us alone for tonight? There is nothing else you can do here today. But we will talk… tomorrow.”

His godson did not question him, accepting his words without hesitation. “Of course, godfather.” With a polite nod he got up, not even caring to push his sleeve back down. “I will seek you out tomorrow after lunch. Have a good night. Hermione,” He turned towards the woman sitting by his side. Severus could not remember him ever addressing her by her first name, but he had the feeling that something between the two had shifted, even though it would probably take talking to the both of them to understand this new … dynamic. “You did the right thing,” his godson said, his eyes shining with respect. “Even though it might not feel like that right now. I… thank you.”

Hermione nodded, caramel brown eyes shining with tears as they met silver ones. “Good night, Malfoy,” she said, a sad smile gracing her lips. “I am glad you are better.”

His godson nodded, sensing that she would not say anything else today. The boy had lived under Lord Voldemort’s roof long enough to be able to read the most subtle signs. Therefore he got up with another nod to both of them, before he strolled towards the door. Severus half expected him gone a while later, but just when he wanted to turn his attention back to his witch, he heard the clearing of a throat from the direction of the door.

“I cannot get out,” Draco admitted, staring at them sheepishly. “Granger warded the door… quite thoroughly.”

Severus bit back a snort, before he pulled himself to his feet with a tired sigh. _ Of course she did, _ he thought while dragging his sorry arse towards the door. She is no idiot, thank Salazar. 

  
  
  



	81. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends! I am currently visiting my mum, so I am all comfy and relaxed. Not much time for writing though. Luckily I am always writing five chapters ahead. ;-)
> 
> Here’s another chapter for you. Thanks to the brilliant Justsare it is all readable and ready for you to read. Enjoy!

Hermione watched Severus undo the wards on his door and peer into the living room as Draco left through the door. For a moment she feared he would leave to take care of … things, or better, the mess she had left behind. But he did not, and instead turned around shortly after, returning to the bed, his eyes focussing on her. 

“Come here,” he prompted her, extending his good arm towards her in invitation as soon as he sat down on the mattress. 

She nodded, her body unable to resist touching him, as she wanted nothing more than to bury her face against his chest, breathe him in while she tried to come to terms with the events of the day. Without hesitation she climbed onto the mattress, crawling next to him and snuggling into his good side. She knew they did not have long before they needed to continue and start to regrow his arm, but right now she felt like she could not face watching more pain, knowing that Severus suffered while there was only so much she could do against it. 

Severus tucked her close, his arm coming to rest on her back, his index finger drawing soothing circles through her sweater. “Tell me about the elves,” he murmured, his voice deep and soothing. 

And she told him, her body wracked with sobs as she recaptured the recent events, starting with her decision to leave the elves behind to stay by his side. Severus did not interrupt, listened quietly until she had no words but oh so many tears left. She let them flow, unashamed of what Severus might think of her, trusting him to also love her at her lowest. He did not disappoint, his eyes fixed on her full of love, not even seeming to notice the growing damp spot on his shirt. 

“You did the right thing, considering the circumstances,” he assured her, his gaze unwavering. “I owe you my life, Hermione, as you seem to have saved me not once but  _ twice _ today.” He gently kissed her forehead, his hand gently brushing her hair aside. “Sometimes life only provides two unacceptable options to you, especially in times of war like these. All one can do is choose the least shitty one. I have been forced to do so many, many times. And I have experienced the nagging guilt they bring with them.”

Hermione believed him. How could she not, knowing his past, or at least parts of it? “Will the guilt ever go away?” she asked, her voice sounding small. “Gods, how am I ever supposed to face Fiercely, knowing that I robbed him of his friend?”

Severus contemplated her question. Finally he said: “It never leaves you completely. It dulls with time, as the memory starts to fade, but it never goes away - and it never should. The moment you start to forget is the moment you start to lose part of yourself.”

She nodded, trying to wipe her tears away with her sleeve, but they kept coming. 

“For some of these last years, I told myself I was over the pain, beyond feeling. But it was a lie. I was beyond feeling joy, but the pain and the guilt never went away, not really,” Severus continued, burying his nose in her hair. “I just robbed myself of anything making my life worth living. Do not make the same mistake.”

Hermione shook her head. “I don’t plan to. I never want to forget Pretty, no matter how much remembering her will hurt. But she’s been my friend and I wish I could have saved her.”

Severus nodded silently. “I know. But all you can do to honour her death is to keep going and try to learn as much as you can, to do better next time.”

He was right, Hermione thought while drying her eyes. The best she could do was to train and make sure that Fiercely had a long and happy life ahead of him.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus held Hermione until her tears had stopped flowing and her breathing calmed down. It was the least he could do for his love, especially as he had been the one insisting that they help Draco to get rid of the Dark Mark. Hermione did not even like the boy, and still she had been forced to trade the life of her beloved elf for his. Would she come to regret the decision? He could only imagine how he would have reacted if something similar had happened to him in his youth, maybe even with Potter being the benefactor of the situation. He shuddered. 

Still, Severus was pretty sure that the elf would not be the last one they lost during this war - that many more deaths would follow. It had been only a matter of time until Hermione got the first taste of grief, even though he had hoped that they had a few more months that the girl could live in peace, her soul untainted by the hardships of war. He feared the day she’d be forced to hurt or even kill her first enemy, even if it was in self-defence. Yes, Hermione was a tough one, but there were things he desperately wished he could spare her from. 

“Hermione?” He hated to disturb her now, but if they wanted to regrow his arm in time, they would have to go to the next step now. “Before the both of us fall asleep… would you mind if I took the potion first? I would prefer to not raise any unwanted questions by appearing with only one arm at breakfast tomorrow.”

“Of course,” his witch agreed, hastily getting up from his shoulder. “I will go and get you the potion. Do you want me to help you to dress into something…” she waved her hand towards his ruined shirt and bloodstained trousers. 

He snorted. “I will just vanish these clothes. They are beyond repair. And considering what we are about to do, a little more skin contact might not hurt.”

Hermione nodded, not even blushing when he removed his clothes with a gesture of his hand. Instead he saw her caramel brown eyes rake over his body, take in his chest and linger at his groin. She had come a long way, he mused, remembering their first, very shy encounters. “I will be right back,” she promised before hastily walking out of the room. Severus followed her with his eyes before he made himself as comfortable as possible in the bed. This would be a long night and he knew that for him there would be no sleep. But without Hermione at his side, her magic engulfing him and soothing his pain, things could have been much worse.

It was only minutes until he downed the potion, the pain in his stump appearing almost immediately. He sucked in his breath and gripped it with his other arm, before lying down on the bed. Instantly Hermione was at his side and only when her body naked body curled around him he realized that she must have used the moment to rid herself of her clothing as well. 

She really had come a long way, being comfortable and not even a little shy in his presence now, Severus mused as the pain slowly subsided. With a thankful smile, he brought his arm around her and pulled her close and Hermione nestled her petite body against him, bestowing a gentle kiss over his heart.

“I’m here,” she assured him, another kiss following the first one. “You are not alone in this. If you need something,  _ anything _ , just tell me.”

“You’re all I need right now,” he murmured into her hair, her scent lulling him. To his amazement, the pain was much better, a strange tingling in his arm and a slight burning all that was left from the side-effect of the potion. It had not been like this the first time, he remembered, but since he had first regrown his arm he and Hermione had come a long way. Now with their bond being much stronger, her magic seemed to pulse through all of his body, energizing him and alluring his senses at the same time. Suddenly the pain was forgotten, as was the missing arm, because Hermione was the centre of his attention. It felt like their magic was pulling them closer together, making him drunk and aching for even more. He knew there wasn’t much they could do about it right now, but he allowed himself to seek out her mouth and kiss her. Hermione gently kissed him back, her fingers drawing slow circles onto his chest. The sensation alone made him groan, his body trembling with a sudden tension that did not even remotely make sense. There was nothing sexual about this situation, he chastised himself, but it was like his body did not care as his hunger for her touch was growing and growing. Without being able to hold himself back he kissed her harder, his hand gripping the back of her head to hold her, while his tongue plunged into her with an intensity that made her whimper. She did not pull back though, and opened her mouth dutifully, her tongue coming to greet him. With a groan, he took possession of her mouth, but every flick of her tongue only made his hunger for her grow, until the need to touch her, to feel her became overwhelming. There was no rational explanation for his reaction to her touch, but he felt his control slipping, leaving him slowly like water trickling out of a hand. 

Hermione seemed to feel it, like she sensed most of his moods, her forehead coming to rest against his when he pulled his mouth away from her with a groan. “What is it? What do you need?” she asked him, caramel brown eyes looking at him imploringly. 

Severus sighed, looking for the right words. “It is like I cannot get close enough to you. All of a sudden I want you so badly, but I know this is not the moment. I can’t even…” he waved his hand through the air. 

Hermions shrugged. “So? It makes perfect sense, does it not? Physical contact has always helped us with healing. It is only logical for your body to demand as much of it as possible.”

He groaned, disgusted by the idea of falling victim to his body’s urgings. But Hermione did not seem fazed at all, as her hand came to rest against his cheek before she pressed her lips against his. 

“Hermione,” he urged, clinging to the last bit of self restraint he had left. “You don’t need to do this, not when I’m like this…” he said, knowing that she must be disgusted by the stump that was left of his arm. She deserved better than a cripple and how was he supposed to give her pleasure like this, with only one arm?

The woman looked at him with a smile. “But I want to,” she said, her body moving with slow grace. With glinting eyes she moved on top of him, brushing her centre against his hard cock before she lowered herself onto his lap, taking him in ever so slowly. He groaned, his head falling back onto the pillow when he felt their bodies melt - come together in the most intimate way possible. It felt heavenly, intoxicating in a way that made him feel like he was floating. Was she feeling it too?

“You have given me so many good feelings,” Hermione continued, her brown eyes on him, full of love. “I am looking forward to giving some of them back.” With that she rolled her hips and his breath hitched. “Apart from that it looks like we have all night because I expect regrowing this arm will take a  _ long _ time.”

_ Merlin _ , he thought, his eyes hungrily taking in the very naked witch sitting on top of him. 

“It probably will,” he admitted huskily and Hermione smiled. 

“Good. Because I am far from finished with you.” Why did her words sound like a promise? With a smug grin Hermione started to move, her hands brushing over his naked chest while she slowly started to ride him. Severus could not help but fix her with his eyes, his heart thudding in his ribcage while he found himself overwhelmed with feelings. Suddenly the burning in his arm was joined by a completely different sensation, one that slowly started to spread from his groin into his whole body. 

He did not know what to say, or even what to do, as he found himself completely helpless and at her mercy, his body refusing to follow his orders when he urged himself to move. All he could do was groan, watching in fascination when Hermione found her rhythm, her nimble fingers wandering to his nipples and pinching them. When his body started to buckle from the sensation, he saw her smirking, her body leaning down a moment later. 

“Tell me if I’m overdoing it,” she murmured as she licked and sucked her way over his chest, her hips never stopping, but slowing down. He felt the pressure inside him building, but the pain in his arm was distracting him in a way that prevented him from falling over the edge. Instead he felt the tension building and  _ building _ until it was almost too much for him to take, his body unable to distinguish between pain and pleasure any longer. Suddenly it was like his whole body was on fire - burning, throbbing, and Severus did not know how much more of this he could take. 

“Hermione…” his voice was barely more than a whisper. Hermione did not react. When he opened his eyes he suddenly knew why, as his witch was sitting up, her eyes closed, her mouth slightly open, while she was touching herself, her hips seemingly moving on their own. His heart stuttered at the sight, his eyes unable to focus on anything but her nimble fingers that kept rubbing her folds, while his witch was completely oblivious to being watched by him. It was the hottest thing he had ever experienced, and suddenly he knew that he did not want to disturb her, no matter how overwhelming the sensations got. And so she drove him higher, moaning and whimpering his name while she kept rocking on him, her body tightening around him as she neared her release. Severus was unable to turn his eyes away, even though he wanted to close them to at least take one of the stimulations away, which kept wreaking havoc on his brain. The pain, the pleasure, and the sight of his witch and the sounds she made - it all bled together into a vortex of feelings, overloading his senses like he had so far only experienced through torture. This was far from painful though, Hermione’s movements and whimpers the sweetest torture he could wish for. When she finally cried out his name, her walls spasming around him as she found her release, she pulled him with her, his body rearing up as he spilled himself inside her, a roar of pleasure escaping his mouth. Then there was nothing, his senses dulled by the blood still rushing in his ears, his body coming down from the heights it had been driven to. He was only alerted by her body moving on top of his, leaning down until she brushed her lips on his mouth.

“We made it past the elbow,” she whispered, before her lips melted against him in a heated kiss. “Looks like we have some more time to enjoy the night and ourselves.”

Severus’ eyes widened, his heart skipping a beat at the implications of her words. “Hermione…” he murmured, his hand sinking into her curls, as his words were muffled by her kiss and her tongue that started to dance around his mouth, alluring his senses. And suddenly he could feel the tension start building again, his cock already twitching again in anticipation. 

Morgana’s tits, that witch was going to be the death of him, he thought, just as his body seemed to move on its own, kissing her back more and more hungrily. He could not deny her anything, not when her sweet little mouth kissed him like this, her body rubbing against him, pleading to be touched and pleasured again. This was going to be a long night, he realized, unable to suppress the excitement building inside him. How many more times would he be able to make her come, to cry out his name? With a groan he dug his fingers into her hair, his tongue plunging in and out of her mouth. Well, he guessed he was about to find out. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


She’d have to send Blaise a box of sugar quills or something, Hermione mused while nuzzling against Severus’ side. The man slept peacefully on his back, his arm almost completely restored when she finally allowed him his second release, making him come with a loud cry. It had been a long night and she was pretty sure she would be tired and sore in the morning, but Hermione did not care, as every second of lost sleep had been ten times worth it. Yes, she would definitely need to thank Blaise for that book, she decided. Discreetly of course. 

She sighed. How could the day have taken such an unexpected turn of events? Nothing had turned out the way she expected it to in the morning. In her head everything was destined to go smoothly, the biggest obstacle being to regrow Severus’ arm. How wrong she had been. 

How could one single day hold so much grief and regret, but also joy? Was it wrong that she felt content right now, her body still coming down from the heights it had just experienced? Had she besmudged Pretty’s memory by ravishing Severus like that only hours after her death? 

She did not know, but she shooed the stab of guilt she felt hastily away. Being with Severus this night had felt like the most natural thing. She had no doubts that their bond had driven them to such lengths in the first place, making it possible for Severus to restore his arm with pleasure instead of pain. How could it be wrong to help him in such a way? But she had felt pleasure too, not just once, and concerning her friend’s recent death she maybe should not have. Or should she? Then she remembered Severus’ words as he had comforted her earlier. No, she would not rob herself of the things that made her happy, but she would also freely allow the pain still burning in her heart. She would embrace both with open arms and maybe Pretty would be watching her from somewhere, smiling down at her. 

  
  
  
  
  



	82. A faithful companion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends. I am back and as enjoyable as the last week was, I did not have much time to write. 
> 
> A word of warning: there is a cliffhanger at the end of the chapter. You might want to wait with reading it.
> 
> Thank you Justsare and StephanieMRV for betaing and supporting this story. You make this so much more enjoyable, for all of us!

Albus was worried; more than worried. He had felt the Dark Magic radiating from Severus’ quarters and accessing the wards of the castle he knew that not only Severus occupied them in that very moment, but Miss Granger and Mr Malfoy as well. He had known that something was amiss; had even warned the girl, but apparently Miss Granger had not seen the signs of her fiancé going dark, and Albus could only hope that he had not dragged her into the abyss as well. 

Driven by worry he tried entering the man’s chambers but no matter what he tried, he could not get through the wards. Even the floo had been closed down and the door to the man’s chamber seemed to have disappeared all of a sudden. It was impossible of course, as he, Albus Dumbledore, was still Headmaster of this school, and all rooms should be open to him at all times. But not even Fawkes could take him any further than into the man’s office; his blue eyes looking for him in disappointment when Albus instructed his faithful companion to take him even further. It could not be done.    
  


Therefore all Albus could do was restlessly pace his office, rewatching his memories of the man who even though he had been trusted - mentored - by Albus, had turned his back on him, surrendering to the darkness. The more time Albus spent in his pensieve, the clearer he started to see things. There had been subtle signs that should have warned him. Even Severus hiring Remus Lupin should have clued him in. The werewolf had admitted that his former enemy’s offer had been most generous, especially as Severus supplied him with a monthly dose of wolfsbane, a potion that would have been unaffordable to the former Gryffindor otherwise. Very subtly, as it was fitting for a true Slytherin, Severus had started to pull the man’s strings. And Lupin was not the only one being lured in by him, there were others. Only yesterday Albus had been alerted to Severus leaving Hogwarts’ grounds with none other than Draco Malfoy, and when he traced them, he had realized that they were joined by not only Bill Weasley (who so far had been a reliable member of the Order), but by Narcissa Malfoy as well. He had planned on confronting his former spy even then, but somehow he had made it back to the castle and into his chambers with Albus being none the wiser. When he finally noticed their return, it was too late. 

But Albus knew they could not stay in those rooms forever. Severus surely hoped that his secret was not discovered, and Albus was determined to play his part, until he could get a hold of the girl. Because if Severus had a weakness it was his fiancée, Hermione Granger. From her, he would get some answers, find out what had happened in Severus’ quarters, if necessary even against her will. He had to know what the man had done, what kind of magic he had used, before it was too late. Because suddenly he remembered that he had seen this pattern before, a Slytherin student assembling seemingly loyal followers around him, and in retrospect Albus asked himself why he had not seen the signs right away. But he guessed Severus Snape had hidden his plans and the darkness inside him very well. He had not hidden them well enough, though, Albus thought while readying himself for breakfast. Because no matter what Severus or Miss Granger said, Albus would not stand by and watch another Dark Lord come into power. He would intervene before it was too late. Severus Snape’s reign would end - today.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


He was the luckiest man alive, Severus thought when he opened his eyes, his witch’s naked body splayed on top of him, her hair fanned out across his naked chest. His mind could not resist replaying memories of their night together and for a moment he believed them to be a hallucination. But no, he clearly remembered Hermione’s voice and the touches of her hands, her kisses… they had been all too real, especially with his body still being bonelessly sated and his arm regrown and fully functional. No, this had been real, Severus realized with a smile, pulling Hermione closer to his chest. She awoke and snuggled into him with a content little hum. 

“Good morning, my love,” he murmured into her ear, bestowing a soft kiss onto her earlobe. 

She giggled. “Is it even still morning? I’ve got the feeling we at least missed breakfast. Not that it matters, it is Sunday after all.”

“Which means I can keep you in bed a little longer,” he murmured, and rolled her onto her back, only to gracefully climb on top of her. “We need to test if this new arm of mine is fully functional, do we not?” he rumbled into her ear, while his hands found her wrists and fixed them above her head. “I at least am eager to find out if those fingers remember how to make you moan and cry out my name.”

His witch looked at him with glowing eyes, her breath quickening. “If you keep talking to me like that, you won’t even need those fingers,” she observed, her teeth capturing her bottom lip. 

“Is that so?” he asked, his hips moving ever so slowly until his cock brushed against her warm folds. 

“Huh, what a pity,” he murmured, kissing down her neck towards her shoulder. “Well, I am sure I’ll have the chance to test their abilities… sooner” he rubbed his cock against her entrance “or later.”

“Later, I think,” Hermione moaned, her eyes already clouding with lust. “Much later.”

Severus agreed. His fingers could have her later. For now, he planned to use other means to drive his witch closer to the edge. And only when she was crying out his name, begging for her release, would he give it to her, with his fingers… or otherwise. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Hermione made it out of Severus’ chambers in time for lunch, her body being freshly showered and thoroughly satisfied. God, she was starving, she realized as she sat down next to Ron, who was already shoveling food into his mouth. But it was no wonder, as she had not had time to eat since they brought Draco into Severus’ quarters the day before. It had been a crazy twenty-four hours and food had been the last thing on her mind. 

“You look tired,” Ron observed, his blue eyes staring at her contemplatively. “Don’t tell me you’ve been up studying or doing homework all night.”

Hermione shook her head, hastily chewing down her toast. “I wasn’t. I’ve been busy doing other things.”

“Like what?” Ron asked, his eyes staring at her in confusion. 

Hermione tried to stall her answer, by taking another bite. But her cheeks coloured, giving her answer away. 

“Oh hell, you’ve been busy shagging, haven’t you?” he asked, causing Harry to his left to snort out his pumpkin juice. 

“Ron!” she hastily lectured him. “Could you please be more… tactful? Even if I did spend my night… you know… it is nobody’s business. I am an engaged woman.”

Ginny snorted, an amused grin spreading on her face. “You are.”

“You didn’t deny it though,” Ron observed, shaking his head at his discovery. “Which means you have been..:”

“Ron!” Harry interrupted him rudely. “Could we please switch the topic. I’d rather not discuss Hermione’s nightly activities over lunch.”

Hermione nodded. “Thank you, Harry,” she said, demonstratively stirring her cup of black tea. “How is Quidditch training going?”

It was her go-to-question if she wanted to distract the boys and as usual, it worked perfectly, as Harry leapt into a lengthy explanation, Ron and Ginny listening avidly. Hermione did her best to follow him, throwing in one or two interested questions. It took her mind off other things for a while and distracted her from the fact that just yesterday she’d lost another friend. But she knew it would not be long until Pretty was back on her mind, sadness and guilt creeping back up on her and darkening her thoughts. 

  
  


Ssssssss

“Miss Granger,” Albus Dumbledore’s voice called her through the floo. “Would you please join me in my office? You can come right through the floo, as there is a matter of importance I’d like to discuss with you.”

That did not sound good, Hermione thought, her mind trying to come up with ideas as to what the Headmaster could want to discuss with her. Had something happened to her parents? Or had Draco’s switch of allegiances been discovered? But no, she guessed the latter would probably be discussed with the boy himself, or Severus, his godfather. 

“Of course, Headmaster,” she found herself replying, hastily brushing back her hair. “I will come right through.” 

Hermione took a deep breath. Somehow she had the feeling that this would not be a comfortable conversation. But it did not matter. She was sure the Headmaster would not call on her because of a triviality. He had seemed genuinely worried, which was reason for her to be worried as well. So she better find out what all of this was about, and the sooner that conversation was in her past, the sooner she could go back to see Severus. On a cold and snowy day like this, there was nothing better than reading while snuggling into him on the sofa. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“Come in,” Severus said, looking at the blond boy in front of his office door. His godson looked different - tired, but also way more alive than he had been for months. Well, so far word of his defection could not have reached Slytherin, but Severus was sure that it was only a matter of time until the first Death Eater children received word from their parents and Draco would be the centre of some unwanted attention. Hopefully the boy was prepared for the danger and loneliness his decision brought with it, or even put some plans into motion. Well, he guessed he was to find out, as this was one topic he was determined to talk about with his godson. 

Severus guided the boy into his private quarters, as he wanted to be as undisturbed as possible and even though he rarely had students seeking him out these days, there were still Minerva and the Headmaster, who were determined to have a piece of his time. 

“I was relieved when I saw you during lunch,” Draco told him, just as he had lowered himself into the armchair. “I could not help but be worried when I did not see you during breakfast.”

Severus nodded. “My body was exhausted from regrowing the missing limb. It required some rest, as I was not able to find any during the process itself.” It was the truth of course, even though regrowing that arm was only one source of his exhaustion. 

“Of course. Did it… did it work?”

Severus knew that his godson was not referring to the obvious fact that his arm was back in place. Therefore he carefully unbuttoned his left sleeve and pulled it upwards. He did not have to say a word, as Draco looked at the unblemished skin with a gasp, awed disbelief shining in his eyes.

“You did it,” he whispered, slowly shaking his head. “You truly did it.”

“You are free now,” Severus reassured him, his right hand coming to rest on the boy’s shoulder. “You have gotten what not many people get in their life - a second chance. Use it wisely,”  _ like I have _ , Severus added in his mind, “because there will not be a third one.”

Draco nodded. “I will do my best not to disappoint you, uncle.”

“You’d better not,” Severus warned him goodnaturedly. “I imagine you are aware that the true trial is just about to start for you. There…”

He did not get any further as he suddenly felt a wave of panic wash over him, followed by an urge to leave and get to his mate as quickly as possible. With a curse he leapt from the sofa, hurrying towards the fireplace. He did not have to ask where he would find his mate, as the tug in his chest gave him a clear indication as to where he would find her. 

“Stay here,” he instructed Draco, his voice stern. “Hermione is in trouble.”

Determinedly he took a pinch of floo powder from the mantle and threw it into the flames. “Headmaster’s office,” he boomed only to find out that the connection had been blocked.  _ Fucking hell _ , he cursed. What had the decrepit fool done now? He swore, if the man had laid a finger onto his mate… Severus did not finish the thought, because he did not know what he would do. But one thing was sure, it would not be good. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Hermione knew that something was wrong as soon as she stepped out of the floo, the flames behind her hissing and turning purple, indicating that the connection had just been blocked. She stared at the Headmaster, who was as usual sitting behind his desk, his blue eyes staring at her with an unsettling glint shining in them. 

“Miss Granger,” Albus Dumbledore greeted her, the ever-present smile suddenly absent from his face. “Come and sit down, will you? As I said, there is a matter of importance I need to discuss with you.”

Hermione hesitated. Suddenly she did not want to get any nearer to that man, even though she was pretty sure that this small amount of distance would not help her if he decided to attack her.  _ Merlin, where had that thought suddenly come from?,  _ she asked herself, trying to reassure herself by remembering that Albus Dumbledore was a great wizard who openly opposed Voldemort and any form of Dark Magic. Surely he would not wish her any harm, especially as she had done nothing to earn his distrust. Or had she?

“Is there anything wrong, Headmaster?” she asked, her feet unwilling to move. “Did something happen to my parents, or…”

The man tilted his head, an unsettling smile forming on his face. “Let us not play this game, shall we, Miss Granger? Disingenuous does not suit you.”

Hermione’s eyes widened at the coldness of his words. Never before had she heard Albus Dumbledore speak in such a way and the fact that he did now unsettled her more than she liked. 

“I know that you are a faithful companion to your fiancé and you are most likely not to blame for the things he did,” the man said, raising from his seat ever so slowly. “But I need to know what happened yesterday, Miss Granger, as I find myself most worried about everybody’s safety, yours included.”

Hermione’s breath hitched and involuntarily she took a step backwards, only to suddenly find her feet frozen to the ground. There had been no indication of the man even casting a spell, nor had she expected him to attack her in such a way. “I cannot tell you, Sir, as it is not my secret to tell. But I can assure you that nothing unlawful or dark has happened and that there is no reason for you to be worried.”

“I am afraid you have been blinded, my dear. But I do not judge, as it has happened to the best of us. I know you love him, maybe even feel the need to protect him, but I am afraid Severus has only been using you for his own profit. Do not worry, as soon as I have found out what he has done, I can free you of him, give you my protection if need be,” the Headmaster said, the kindness in his voice not reaching his eyes. “But for that I need to know what Severus did, what kind of Dark Magic he used.”

Hermione’s eyes widened, focussing on the wand that was suddenly in his hand. Only a few more steps and he would be in front of her, she realized, her heart hammering in panic. What was she supposed to do? 

“Headmaster, please,” she begged, pulling her wand out of the wand-holder she now always wore on her wrist. She got no chance to use it though, as there was suddenly a crack of apparition in front of her, her sight of the Headmaster being suddenly blocked by Severus’ broad shoulders. For a moment Hermione did not understand how he had gotten here, but then her eyes fell on Fiercely, who was clutching her fiancè’s hand. The elf was there for a moment only, disappearing a moment after, and Hermione mused that Severus had given him clear instructions to do so. 

“What is the meaning of this?” her fiancé asked, barely suppressed fury in his voice. 

“Severus.” Dumbledore’s voice was calm, even though there was a hint of surprise in it. “I did not expect you to join us today. But I guess you were always able to surprise me.”

Hermione saw the headmaster look at him calmly, his steps halting, taking a firm stance. This wasn’t good, she thought, clutching her wand and readying herself to shield. 

“How  _ dare _ you lock my fiancée in your office, assault her with no chance to defend herself. Hermione is under my protection, she is  _ mine _ , and I will not allow her to come to harm, not through anybody and least of all you.”

“Not even if you are the one harming her?” Dumbledore asked, his blue eyes fixing her mate analytically. “You are using her for your own gain, Severus. She might be too young to realize it, but I am not. I can see what you are doing.”

The spell flew out of the Headmaster’s wand without warning, rushing towards them with fast precision. Hermione hastily cast a shield, but she would have been too slow if the spell would have been directed at her. With Severus being the target it got redirected by a sharp flick of her mate's wand, crushing into one of the nearby bookshelves and making it explode into countless pieces. She stumbled backwards, realizing that she was suddenly able to move her feet again.

“Step away from him, Miss Granger. I do not wish you any harm,” Albus Dumbledore instructed her, while throwing another unknown spell towards them. “I know you might not realize it right now, but Severus is a dangerous man, much more dangerous than you might think.”

_ But at least he’s on my side,  _ she thought, stepping closer to her fiancè while casting the strongest shield she was capable of. Severus would never hurt her, she knew, and until a few hours ago she would have said the same thing about the other man in the room. But suddenly she was not so sure. This all had to be some sort of misunderstanding, or nightmare, she thought, as the spells kept flying, Severus shielding and redirecting them with cold precision. 

“I would never hurt her, Albus,” Severus growled, “if you do not know that, you are a fool.”

“Not as much of a fool as you might think I am,” the Headmaster countered while throwing another spell towards Severus, seemingly without effort. “I can see you for what you are now, Severus, and I do not like what I see.”

Severus grunted, taking a careful step backwards. This was not good, Hermione mused, while assessing the whole situation. There was no way they were going to beat the Headmaster, but as far as she knew they could not get out of this office, either. But there had to be a way,  _ any way  _ out of this mess…

“Sir, please!” she shouted, careful to shield herself while looking at the old man with pleading eyes. “We did not  _ do _ anything. Stop, before someone gets hurt!”

Albus Dumbledore shook his head, his eyes looking at her with something like pity. “That is exactly what I am trying to prevent, Miss Granger. One day, you will understand. Now step away from him and no harm will come to you.” 

“No,” Hermione answered, her voice full of steel. 

Her words made something within the man snap, as she could see his eyes suddenly going dark, pupils widening until the blue was almost unable to spot. As if in slow motion she could see him raise his wand, mouth opening to form a spell, and all she could do was silently cry out for help, her mind begging anyone who would listen to help them, save them from this. A moment later they were suddenly engulfed in flames, heat licking at their skin, blurring their view and out of instinct Hermione leapt forward and clutched Severus’ body. This was it, they were going to burn, and her only consolation was that if she was going to die, Severus would be right by her side. 

  
  


  
  
  
  
  



	83. Light in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter, my friends. Justsare betaed again for me, which is a blessing as I keep struggling with my English. Enjoy, my friends. And hopefully this chapter will supply you with some answers to your theories. I love reading them, even though I don’t always have time to reply. 

‘ _ I’ll see you in hell, bastard, _ ’ Severus thought, just as the world around him exploded in fire. The flames licked at his clothes, blurred his sight, but they did not hurt him, he realized, just as he was swept away. His body dissipated into nothingness, the world around him fading just to reappear a moment later. There was a short moment of panic, until he realized that Hermione was right by his side, staring wide-eyed at the phoenix flying through the air in front of them.

“Fawkes,” she whispered, her voice full of awe and disbelief. “You… saved us.”

‘Of course, phoenix fire,’ Severus mused, taking a step towards the majestic animal. He found himself being watched with intelligent, dark eyes, that seemed to look into his very soul. Severus could not help but stretch out his hand, longing to touch the colourful feathers, to stroke them to communicate his gratitude, and to his wonder the phoenix did not pull away, his wings flapping twice more to stabilize him before he landed on the ground in front of them. 

“Thank you, my friend,” he murmured, staring at the bird seriously. “You do not agree with your master’s assessment of my character, do you?” he asked, not really expecting to get an answer. “He will not like that you betrayed him.”

The phoenix made a warbling sound, nodding, while his eyes never seemed to leave him. Suddenly Severus felt an aura of sadness radiate from him and for a moment he wished he could comfort the animal, was bound to a man who had seemingly lost all control or scruple. He could only hope that he would have mercy with his familiar, because suddenly he knew that the bird had no choice but to return to him. It was bound to Albus, just as he was bound to Hermione now. 

“He will understand, once he has seen his mistake,” Hermione soothed, her voice gentle. “The Headmaster must realize that Severus has not done anything.”

“But I have,” Severus told her, his hand taking hers. “I knew he would not approve of me helping Draco and Narcissa. Still, I have done so, trying to keep it a secret from him.”

“That is no reason to attack you,” Hermione protested, her voice suddenly sounding shrill. He could tell she was shaken and so was he, to a point. He had seen so much shit in his life, that this was just another very unpleasant surprise. “What are we even supposed to do now? We cannot go back, can we? Not when Professor Dumbledore…”

Her voice broke and a moment later Severus could feel her arms tightening around him, pulling him closer with a sob. He made a soothing noise in the back of his throat, his hand coming to stroke the back of her head. He did not have any words of comfort for her, not now when he himself had no idea how to get out of this mess. 

Instead, he held her in silence, until the spell was broken by a flapping of wings. When Severus opened his eyes he saw that the phoenix had risen in the air again, nodding towards them while producing a musical trill. It was like he was saying goodbye, which he probably was.

“You need to go back,” Severus observed, nodding towards the majestic bird. “I will never forget what you did for us. I have no idea where we’ll be going, but I am sure you will be able to find us, my friend.”

The phoenix nodded, crying out one last time, before he disappeared in a ball of flames. 

“He is gone,” Hermione murmured, her voice sounding small and lost. 

“He is,” Severus confirmed, looking around with a sigh. Only then he realized where the phoenix had taken them, his eyes taking in the cave he and Hermione had visited months ago. Suddenly he could see the blue lights reflecting on her hair and her skin and even though he still felt overwhelmed by the responsibility weighing on his shoulders, he could not help the moment of awe he felt. They would not be able to stay here for long, but considering their circumstances there could be no more idyllic place to plan their next steps and collect their strength. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Hermione stared at the point where Fawkes had just disappeared from, her body starting to tremble as her nerves started to hit. They could not go back into the castle, but with Voldemort being after Severus and probably her as well, they were not left with many options. They could not go to Grimmauld Place, or to her parents, as these would probably be the first places where the Headmaster would be looking for them. The implications of that were just starting to hit her. 

Severus held her close to his chest, his arms coming around her - steadying her - while his chin rested on her crown.

“We cannot stay here,” he said after a while, his voice sounding calm and collected. “I do not think anyone will be able to find us here, but we have nothing to eat and even though I can conjure a bed and water, that will only get us so far.”

“But where can we even go?” Hermione asked. 

Severus sighed. “I do have a house. I once designed it as a hiding spot, only I never expected to use it because Dumbledore was after me. But as it appears even the most paranoid of men can still be surprised.”

“Yeah,” Hermione said with a sad chuckle, before she stared into the cave, lost for words. 

Severus was not finished though: “Still, I would rather avoid that place for now. It currently houses Narcissa Malfoy, as she had no other place to go and I would prefer if no one knew where we went. We cannot be careful enough.

She nodded. “I understand. We cannot make a mistake now, not when the stakes are so high. What if… could we go to the Muggle world? I already considered this option months ago, before me and my parents agreed that I would stay at Hogwarts. But with that no longer being an option…”

Severus did not reply right away and therefore she continued: “I know my way around things and I imagine so do you, to a point. 

”We could go to a hotel, or even rent a little flat… I still have a little money, and…”

“Money will not be a problem, Hermione. Do not worry…” Severus assured her, kissing her crown. 

For a while, they stood like that in silence, Hermione trying to map out different options. Finally, Severus said: “I am sorry, Hermione. I knew I risked Albus’ anger when helping Draco. If it wasn’t for me, you would still be at the castle, sitting in the common room with your friends, having both of your house-elves.”

“I’d rather be with you,” she murmured, knowing that she meant it. Hermione did not want to be anywhere else but at Severus’ side. It did not matter that they were suddenly on the run, their life endangered by not one but two powerful wizards. She loved Severus, would always love him, no matter what. And if that meant starting anew in the Muggle world or moving abroad, then so be it. They would carve out a place for their own, here or somewhere else. 

  
  
  


Sssssssss

  
  


Severus did not return to his chambers, and Draco started to worry as the hours started to trickle by with no word from him. Something was wrong, Draco knew, the sixth sense he had gained while living under the same roof with that snake-faced bastard telling him that his godfather had encountered a serious problem. What did that mean for him? Severus had been on the way to the Headmaster’s office when he left, so had the Headmaster been the one giving Granger trouble? But why would he mistreat one of his precious Gryffindor cubs? It was all very mysterious…

When it was time for dinner, Draco could not wait any longer, and with a sigh he left his godfather’s rooms through the door of his office. He didn’t even make it around the corner, before he was confronted by the Headmaster himself. Draco did not think the meeting was a coincidence, as there was neither a smile in the man’s eyes nor on the man’s lips as he said: “Mr Malfoy, I would ask you to follow me into my office. There is a matter of urgency I’d like to discuss with you.”

Draco took a deep breath, cursing himself inwardly for his stupidity. He was in trouble, he thought, but he knew that trying to run would make things even worse. Therefore all he could do was plaster a calm smile onto his face. “Of course, Sir,” he answered, starting to walk into the direction the man appointed him. Hopefully Severus was still in the man’s office, but somehow he doubted it. For now it looked like he would be on his own and even though Draco had felt alone for the better part of the last months, he had never wished more to have his godfather by his side. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Blaise was good at reading people. He prided himself on being a good observer, a very popular one at that, and today he did not like what he was seeing at all. First there was the fact that Hermione did not appear for their scheduled meeting at the library. Such a thing had never happened and Blaise knew for a fact that if his friend had been unable to make it, she would at least send him a message. But there was nothing from her, not a word, and when she did not show up for dinner, Blaise knew that something must have happened. It was no surprise that Snape was missing as well. It was only natural to stay at her side, whatever had happened, except his disappearance seemed to be as unsettling to several of his colleagues, as Hermione’s disappearance was to him. It was all rounded up by the fact that neither the Headmaster nor Malfoy were there either. Both had happened before, but Crabbe and Goyle did not seem to have seen the blonde boy since after lunch and seemed genuinely worried. It only got worse when during breakfast the next day, the owls arrived and dropped a letter for each of them, sealed with black wax. 

True, at least Dumbledore was back at the breakfast table, but he did not say a word, sitting almost unmovingly on his chair, not speaking a word to anyone. Blaise could see McGonagall trying to start a conversation several times, but it was obvious that the Headmaster blocked her off time after time, the witch growing more and more frustrated with every failed attempt. When lessons started and Hermione did not show up for their shared Arithmancy class, nor for Ancient Runes, Blaise was worried for good. Her damned cat seeking him out when he was just about to return to the dorm was the last straw. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


They left the cave only about an hour later, Severus directly portkeying them into a sealed and secret room within his house. Here they hastily transfigured their clothes into Muggle attire and following Hermione’s suggestion he apparated them into a busier part of muggle London, where they checked in to a hotel. They neither had Muggle money nor identification, and therefore she watched Severus confund and obliviate no less than three Muggles, before they finally sunk into a king-sized bed, a tired sigh on their lips. It wasn’t even dinnertime and Hermione already felt tired enough to fall asleep on the spot. But at the same time, her head was still spinning, unable to not mull over everything that had happened today.

“We’ll need papers,” she said, rubbing her hand over her face with a sigh. “You cannot keep obliviating people or we’ll be discovered sooner or later. What if they start monitoring the use of magic in Muggle areas?”

At first Severus said nothing. She could feel him shift next to her, the mattress dipping low when he rolled over, his soft hair tickling the skin of her face when he leaned over her. “Having papers will make things easier, without question. I could acquire some from a muggle tomorrow so that we have a model we can use to transfigure some for us.”

Hermione opened her eyes and looked at him with her brows furrowed. “Acquire? Don’t tell me you plan to steal them.”

Severus sighed. “What else do you want me to do, Hermione? I cannot use any old contacts of mine, as they are either linked to Voldemort or Dumbledore. I do have wizarding money, but the only place where we can exchange it is Gringotts, a place I’d rather try to avoid for a few days. Dumbledore is not stupid, Hermione. He will know that sooner or later we will have to contact the Goblins.” His dark eyes bored into her, pupils blown so that it was almost impossible for her to say where they ended and the iris started. “I know you do not like this, Hermione, but one way or the other we will get our hands dirty, either to get money, food, or by stealing a damned passport.” 

Hermione stared at him with wide eyes, the bitter note in his voice making her heart clench. He was right, of course, They were left with next to no options and that meant they would have to do something to get by. “I know,” she admitted, biting her lip. “It is just… I wouldn’t even know how. I’ve never stolen anything in my life…” she became aware of his raised eyebrow “Well… I  _ did _ take the boomslang skin during second grade, but that was a rather clumsy attempt. I’m sure you figured it out right away.”

Severus snorted. “I only realized it was taken after I tended to you in the hospital wing. But in fact I suspected it was Potter for quite some time. No one suspects the over-achieving know-it-all.”

Hermione giggled helplessly, causing the corners of Severus’ mouth to twitch. “Don’t worry about the mechanics, Hermione. One cannot grow up as a poor kid in Cokeworth without picking up a thing or two. I will get us a passport and just enough money to get us through the next few days. Meanwhile you can come up with a plan on how we can make a living, my love. I am sure we will find something.”

He gently kissed her forehead and Hermione could feel her insides melt. It was not only the gesture of love, but also the fact that Severus would get his hands dirty to take care of her. He took matters in his own hands, no matter how dire their situation was, and he did not complain or get angry, even though she could imagine he felt like shouting because of the unfairness of it all. But even though she clearly felt the stress radiating from him, he did not raise his voice or lose his patience with her.

“All right. I am not worried, I trust you, Severus. Apart from that, you do have very clever fingers, Severus. I just did not expect them to be experienced in pickpocketing as well.”

Her mate kissed her with a chuckle. “There are many things you do not know about me… yet. But I will happily share them with you, one by one.”

Hermione smiled, cupping his cheek with her hand and pulling him down for a slow kiss. “Would you? I’d love to hear about your childhood, or whatever you feel comfortable enough to share with me. Would you tell me something, just to take my mind off… things for now?”

Severus pressed his lips onto her forehead with a tender smile. “I’ll do even better. If you want to, I can show you.”

She looked at him with wide eyes. “Show me? How?”

He leaned down, until his forehead came to rest against hers. “Do you trust me?” he asked, his voice low and soothing. 

“I do,” she breathed, her thumb stroking his cheek ever so slightly. 

Severus smiled. “Good. Then put your index and middle fingers against my temples.”

Hermione followed his instructions and Severus rewarded her with a nod and a smile. “Good. Now focus on my eyes…”

She blinked once, before her eyes sought out his, full of trust. His black orbs welcomed her, full of tenderness and before she knew it, she lost herself in them, tumbling down into Severus’ mind. 

  
  
  


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	84. Running and hiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In those next chapters you will notice one thing: I am speeding things up. Yes, I could make this story much longer and go into detail what happens to several other characters such as Draco, Harry, Blaise etc. But honestly: I want to finish this story with under 100 chapters, as I have the feeling that things have gotten a little out of hand. So: please do not fret. Maybe I’ll one day write some outtakes for this story. But right now I cannot wait to close this chapter and follow one of these other plot bunnies. ;-) 
> 
> Thank you Justsare for your ongoing support. It means the world to me. 

When Hermione re-emerged from Severus’ head, she wasn’t able to tell how long she had wandered through his memories. There had been many of them, all from his childhood or youth, most of them having an air of melancholy or sadness to them. Severus had had a lonely childhood, his only friend being Lily Evans, a girl who was so similar and so still unlike her at the same time. The memories containing her usually had a happier note to them, but Hermione could tell that they were few and most of Severus’ life had been a sad, misunderstood, and lonely one. Now that she was aware of her body and mind again, she felt the tears stream down her face, her heart aching for the man she loved so much, that it hurt. 

“I am sorry, my heart,” he heard him whisper, his voice deep and soothing. “Was this too much? I did not want to sadden or distress you with those memories.”

Hermione shook her head, smiling sadly. “No, no. I love it that you showed me part of yourself. Don’t ever think otherwise. I just wish I could have been there for you sooner.” 

“You are here now,” Severus answered, his lips coming to meet hers. “It is all that matters to me.” For a while they did not talk, their lips and tongues communicating in their own language, expressing tenderness, love, and acceptance. Hermione basked in those feelings, mirrored them back and added her own to them, desperate to show the man in her arms how much she loved him, accepted who he was or had been. Time suddenly did not matter, as there was nowhere they had to be. For now, they were just here, in their own little bubble, and right now that was enough for her. 

“I’ll always be there, Severus. Don’t think you’re getting rid of me now,” she murmured in between kisses. “From now on it’s you and me against the rest of the world, if need be. I am yours now,” she promised, kissing him once more, tenderly.

Severus made a small noise in the back of his throat and somehow she thought that his kisses suddenly tasted sad, almost like a goodbye. But no, she wouldn’t be going anywhere, and she was determined not to let him run off, to sacrifice himself or confront Dumbledore on his own. No, they were in this together, whether he liked it or not. 

  
  


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To say Minerva was worried was a vast understatement. Never in her life had a student disappeared under her watch, but Miss Granger was gone and Severus with her. If she hadn’t known both of them for years, she would have expected an elopement, but considering the fact that they were already engaged and very comfortably settled in their relationship, that did not make any sense. No, something else was going on, but no matter how hard she tried it was impossible for her to find out what. 

Albus was no help at all, avoiding her questions whenever he could. He  _ knew _ something, Minerva was sure of it, as he seemed to evade her presence like the Weasley twins used to do it, when they had done something they knew she would disapprove of. It did not make sense of course, especially as Albus also seemed somewhat distanced and contemplative during mealtimes, his eyes resting on Mr Malfoy or Mr Zabini like he was trying to put the pieces of a gigantic puzzle into place. Something had happened, or was happening, and Minerva was determined to find out what it was. She already had an idea who’d be the first one she should invite into her office for a friendly chat.

  
  


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Severus knew that somebody was watching them when he returned to their hotel room on the fifth day. They had been careful, more than careful, and changed their quarters every day, jumping through the country in no recognizable pattern. By the second day they had their identification ready, Hermione adamant that she do all of the transfiguration work, arguing that she knew Muggle identification best. She had gotten an identification card and a passport before, but as hers was at Hogwarts and therefore unreachable to her, she made herself a new one under a different name. When he asked her about her choice, Rachel Thompson, she told him that it was a pretty common name, which meant that someone would need to look for the needle in the haystack when trying to find her, and Severus liked the idea of that. He chose John Smith for himself, even though he did not think he looked like a John, but it wasn’t like he planned to use this name with people he cared about. 

It had all been going so well, three rounds of magically-supported pickpocketing supplying them with enough funds to get them through about two weeks, but somewhere they had made a mistake, caught somebody’s attention, because suddenly Severus knew they were being watched. 

“Someone is following us,” he told Hermione on the second day, when he was sure they had not shaken off their persuer. He felt his love stiffen ever so slightly, her face growing worried as her caramel-brown eyes looked at him full of worry.

“Do you know who it is?” she asked, her voice surprisingly calm. 

He shook his head, taking off the black leather jacket he now wore when going outside. “I have not seen anybody. But it must be a wizard, as they somehow traced us, even after apparating.”

Hermione sighed, not even questioning him. “We need to find a way to shake them off then. How is it even possible to trace someone through an apparition?”

Severus considered her words for a moment. “It is possible to trace someone through their blood, but one would need a sample for that. Also, every apparition leaves a tiny amount of magical energy behind, which can be traced to its owner for a few moments after the apparition. The trail must be fresh, though.”

“How likely is it, that somebody has your blood - or mine?” his mate asked, staring at him with wide eyes. 

Severus carefully considered her question. “I’ve spilled quite a bit of mine over the years,” he finally admitted. “But I guess if Voldemort had ever decided to take some of it, I’d be dead by now. Therefore I guess it is quite unlikely that he or another Death Eater has some of mine - or yours. I cannot be sure about Dumbledore, though. I know of a few occasions where I gave my report to him while still being wounded, but as far as I know, he did not have the chance to take a sample of my blood then. Unfortunately, I cannot be sure.”

His witch contemplated this. “Then either someone is hot on our trail, or they have a sample of our blood. If the latter is the case, there is not much we can do, right?”

He nodded, carefully. 

“Then we should probably try to shake them off without apparating. It could work if we’re clever about it. If they’re still able to follow us, we know they must have blood from one of us, right?” his witch asked, already getting up from her spot on the floor, hastily storing the few belongings they had accumulated.

Severus nodded seriously.

“Good,” Hermione said, walking towards him with a determined expression. “How many people know you’re an Animagus?”

  
  
  


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At first it seemed like their strategy was working. They had decided it would be best if he disillusioned Hermione before shifting into his Animagus form, the both of them leaving the hotel by different ways; he through the window and Hermione through the door. Hermione had given him a location where she would meet him, deciding to use Muggle transportation to shake off their pursuer who was most likely a wizard or a witch. Severus would wait at the appointed spot, taking a route through the air, careful to not be followed himself. It was a risk, and Severus hated the idea of letting Hermione go on her own. But he needed to trust her, needed to treat her as an equal, even though the need to stay at her side, to protect her, became almost overwhelming when she kissed him goodbye. 

In the end, he told himself that it was way more likely for him to be tracked, not only because there were at least two persons aware of his Animagus form, but because it was actually his head they were after, not so much Hermione’s. Them separating gave her an actual chance to get away, at least that was what he hoped when he saw the door open, knowing that he would probably never see her again. 

The following two hours were amongst the worst in his life, especially when he realized that no one was following or approaching him. His thoughts ran wild with all different scenarios, finding dozens of ways Hermione could have been kidnapped or killed while he was too far away to actually help her. The only thing keeping him from flipping was the bond, because Severus knew that he would have felt it if something had gone wrong - or at least he hoped so. 

When he finally landed on a tree close to an abandoned bus stop at the outskirts of Bristol 132 minutes after leaving the hotel, his nerves were in tatters. He knew that Hermione would probably need a while longer to arrive, but when she did not show up during the next hour, he started to get worried. He should never have left her, he realized, but his thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of something growing hot against his skin. Severus knew what it meant, he remembered the coin Hermione had given him before she departed. She was alive, had sent him a message!

Hastily he flew into the forest that was close by and transformed back as soon as he could be sure that he was well hidden. Only moments later the coin was in his hand, his eyes scanning it, reading the message waiting for him. 

_ Bus stop, middle chair _

She’s made it, she was alive, Severus thought while hastily walking back to the appointed place. As calmly as he could he sat down on the chair next to her, his hand carefully reaching out to touch her. He found her thigh, squeezed it and without saying a word, her hand came to rest on his cheek, her thumb caressing him ever so gently. 

“Hey,” she murmured, just loud enough for him to hear. “Miss me?”

A laugh escaped his mouth, the relief he suddenly felt needing a way out. “You have no idea, witch.”

There was a silent chuckle from her, before her hand let go of his cheek, finding his fingers instead. “Let’s find a new place to stay,” she murmured. “And something to eat would be nice. I’m starving.”

He hummed in agreement , his fingers gripping her tightly before he apparated them away. He knew just the place for them to stay and he could not wait to take Hermione into his arms and show her just how much he had missed her. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Hermione had just sat down onto the new bed, her tummy still full from the sandwich they had picked up on their way to the hotel, when she became aware of the cat that was sitting on their windowsill. Hermione would have known Professor McGonagall’s Animagus form anywhere, as her young self had been most fascinated when she found out her Transfigurations Professor was an Animagus, taking in every little detail of the cat Professor McGonagall had transformed herself into.

Now their eyes met for a moment, Hermione’s insides turning to ice as she leapt from the bed, her wand already in hand. 

“Severus,” she shouted for her mate, who had just disappeared into the bathroom. “It’s Professor McGonagall.”

There was a curse and only two seconds later he was by her side, staring at the cat, which had not moved from its spot on the window sill. His wand in hand, he waited by her side and Hermione knew he was making himself ready to defend her, in case they would be attacked again. But nothing happened, the Professor just sat there, watching them before demonstratively starting to lick her paw.

Hermione blinked in confusion. “I do not think she is here to attack us,” she said hesitantly. 

Severus stayed silent, staring at the transformed witch for a moment longer. Finally, he sighed. “No, I do not think she is,” he said, before pointing his wand at the window, opening it with a silent spell. 

The cat blinked, climbing into the room a moment later. Only when she landed on the floor with an elegant move, she transformed back into the stern figure of Professor McGonagall, whose green eyes stayed focussed on them throughout the whole process.

“Has Albus sent you after us?” Severus asked, his wand and eyes firmly trained onto his former colleague. Hermione could feel the tension radiating from him and for the first time she asked herself if he’d be able to outduel the older witch, should he be forced to defend them. 

“No,” the Professor said, a sad smile on her face. “Albus did not speak to me or anyone for days, which I found quite unsettling considering that you two just vanished without leaving as much as a note. I asked him, of course, but without success.”

Hermione took all of this in with a heavy heart. “He did not say anything? I assumed he’d make some sort of announcement in the Great Hall, but then again…” Hermione bit her lip. “He attacked us, Professor.”

Professor McGonagall’s eyes focussed first on her, then on Severus without blinking. 

“It is true,” Severus confirmed with a nod, his wand still resting in his palm. “He came to the conclusion that I am suddenly his enemy, even though I am not exactly sure what he’s accusing me of.”

“That is hogwash,” the stern witch said, annoyance vibrating in her voice. “You’ve been his spy for almost two decades, you have officially defected You-Know-Who’s ranks. Accusing you of treason and even attacking you…” she shook her head. “That does not make sense.”

“To him, it does,” Severus said flatly. “He never liked to be left out of the loop, but…”

“What are you talking about, Severus?” the Professor asked, her eyebrows raised at him questioningly.

The man sighed. “It is a long story, Minerva. But I guess it cannot hurt for you to hear it, that is if you are willing to listen.”

“Of course,” Professor McGonagall said, her eyes looking at him sternly. “And now put away those wands. I am not going to attack you, Severus, or you, Miss Granger. I am no fool. I do not take either of you for one, either.”

Hermione nodded, a smile of relief spreading on her face. The years of being taught by the witch, or having received her punishments after doing something stupid, had taught her that Professor McGonagall had always been just, and her gut feeling told her she could trust her. Slowly, she lowered her wand and after a moment of hesitation she took two steps into her direction, pulling the older witch into an affectionate hug.

“I am so glad you are here, Professor,” she mumbled, feeling the witch’s hands patting her back.

“There, there,” the Professor murmured, her voice soothing. “I am sure everything will be all right.” 

Hermione nodded, letting go of her with a watery smile. “Do you think so, Professor?”

Minerva McGonagall nodded, her green eyes coming to rest on Severus, who ever so slowly slid his wand back into his sleeve. “I most definitely hope so. Now come, let us sit down so you can tell me what happened. I am most eager to hear that long story of yours.”

Without waiting for a reply from them she sat down on the armchair in the corner, somehow procuring a steaming carafe of tea and three cups from her robe. “Tea?” 

“Minerva, you are a saint,” Severus said, transfiguring an armchair for himself. 

The elderly witch snorted. “No, I am British. And after following you around for days, I felt like having a cuppa.”

Hermione chuckled, her heart already feeling much lighter. A cup of tea sounded lovely and she hoped that between the three of them, they would figure things out. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  



	85. Poisoned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is your next chapter, my friends. I hope you like the ideas I’ve had. We are slowly nearing the end. We might get close to 100 chapters in the end, but I do not think we will have more than that. 
> 
> Thank you for your ongoing support, kudos and comments you are leaving for me. And thank you to Justsare, who tirelessly corrects my English and helps me to learn and improve my writing. We’ve come such a long way already!

Minerva was back in the castle for lunch. She had been careful not to miss any of her lessons, as with Severus missing from the castle there was enough work left to do. Albus substituted for him, yes, but she would not let her other colleagues be burdened with her work, when there were enough hours of the day left to spend watching. 

And watch them she did, but Miss Granger and Severus hardly did anything else than hiding, talking, and a suspicious amount of kissing. She was happy for them of course, but it was quickly evident that this was not some sort of misplaced honeymoon, or whatever else Albus wanted to make all of them believe. It was fairly obvious that both of them were on the run, only did she not understand whom they were running from.

Now she knew, rage over Albus’ reckless behaviour still pulsing through her veins, when she knocked on his door right after she had gotten back to the castle. This madness had to stop. With You-Know-Who still out there, trying to end or subjugate them, there was no room for doubting each other, or even attacking one another. If they started taking that particular route, they had already lost, and somehow she felt in her old bones that this was exactly what the snake-faced bastard was playing at. 

Albus greeted her with a smile, watching her from his usual spot behind the desk with blue, calculating eyes. There was a hint of distrust in them, Minerva realized, a shiver running down her spine. Was that how it had started for Severus? 

“Albus, you have to stop this madness now,” she stated, walking into his office and sitting down with a huff. “Attacking one of our own,  _ have you completely lost your mind? _ ”

Albus watched her silently at first and Minerva was about to continue her tirade, when he suddenly sighed, his wrinkled hand brushing over his face. “You have found them then,” he said, the slight tremor in his hand betraying the calmness of his voice. “I wondered how long it would take, as your frequent absence from the castle told me that you were quite adamant to do so.”

Minerva huffed. “Found them?” She tsked. “Don’t be ridiculous. I found them days ago, Albus, days I spent watching them. No, today I finally decided to talk to them, and Godric, I am thankful I did. What did you think you were doing?”

Her oldest friend stroked his beard, a tired smile playing on his lips. “I tried to protect the girl, Minerva. I thought you of all people would appreciate it. Lemon drop?”

Minerva stared at the man unblinkingly for a long time. She could not believe the nerve of him. “Protect her from what exactly, Albus? Severus is completely devoted to her, I have never seen him like that. He’d never hurt her, or do something to endanger the girl’s happiness. You  _ must _ know that, too.”

“That is what I told myself, too, Minerva. I know he thinks he loves her, but…”

“Stop right there, Albus,” Minerva interrupted him, her voice laced with disappointment. “Merlin, I don’t know what’s gotten into you.  _ Of course _ , he loves her. Let me tell you something. I have watched them for days. Whatever outlandish theory you have about Severus going Dark or betraying you, you are wrong. The only interest the man has is protecting his Kindred Spirit. Yes, he told me, you stupid man.”

“Are you quite finished, Minerva?” the Headmaster asked her, his voice deathly calm. It only made her even angrier. 

She shook her head. “Finished? I am just about to get started, Albus. And you will sit there and listen. Don’t even think about disappearing on me, like you have done for days now.”

Albus nodded, suddenly seeming tired. “All right, Minerva. I will listen. Tell me what Severus has to say about his…”

Minerva nodded, taking in the man’s sunken cheeks and the haunted look in his eyes. “Very well, Albus. I will tell you what he said,” she agreed, huffing. “And you will sit there and listen. And afterwards, you are going to explain your inexcusable behaviour to me.”

  
  


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Albus listened to Minerva’s words with a heavy heart, analysing them and looking for lies. He could tell she was telling the truth, or at least believed she was. Some of the things she said he had already found out himself, his questioning of Mr Malfoy supplying him with enough information to confirm at least part of her story. But that did nothing to lessen his worry. 

Severus helping young Draco to defect from the Death Eaters only proved that the man was assembling allies, mostly through making people indebted to him. Young Draco was only another one of his future followers, or whatever Severus would choose to call them. Would Minerva soon follow them? Would she abandon him, too?

No, Minerva was loyal, he told himself, chasing the nagging doubt away. They had seen so much together, she surely would not abandon him. On the other hand, he had thought the same about his phoenix, Fawkes, and still, the bird had chosen Severus’ side - which should have been impossible for him to do. 

“Now, Albus, what do you have to say for yourself?” Minerva asked him, her green eyes staring at him expectantly. 

He sighed. “So he rescued the boy using his link to Miss Granger,” he started, rubbing his beard. “Why did he not come to me, Minerva? But that is not everything.”

He told her about the break-in to Miss Granger’s quarters, sharing his theory about this as well. But for all he could tell Minerva’s face grew only more serious, her brows raising until they nearly touched her hairline. “This is ridiculous, Albus. Of course there are other ways those objects could have gotten to the girl’s bed. For all we know, it could even have been her cat.”

Albus looked at her in disbelief. Was she serious?

“Albus…” Minerva looked at him searchingly, her eyes scanning him in a way that would have unsettled him, if he had not trusted her. “Have you ever considered…” she shook her head with a pained expression. “You know I would not betray you, don’t you?”

He nodded, squishing the little voice of doubt nagging in the back of his mind. “Of course I do. You have never given me reason to doubt you.”

The woman smiled. “Good. I will not start today. Now… please help me understand this, because I feel like I am missing an important piece. Severus told me your phoenix helped him to get away. Is that right?”

Even the mention of his familiar’s betrayal hurt, but he forced himself to look at the phoenix, who sat beside him on the golden perch. “It is true,” he admitted, sadness creeping into his voice. 

Minerva did not comment on it though, instead she continued: “A phoenix is a creature of light, is he not? Would Fawkes have helped Severus, if the man had indeed dabbled with Dark Magic, as you say, or planned something to hurt you? Your phoenix is bound to you, is he not?”

Albus carefully considered her words. “He is, indeed.”

His friend nodded. “Good. So tell me: do you trust his judgment and mine?”

He sighed. “I know I should,” he said, the nagging feeling in the back of his mind increasing, until it almost felt like a brewing headache. “It is just, I cannot shake this feeling about Severus. It is like I  _ know _ I cannot trust him…” he admitted, realizing how illogical he sounded. 

Minerva nodded, her mouth set into a grim line. “I see. What about Poppy? Do you trust her?” she asked, already rising from her chair. 

“Poppy?” he found himself asking, confused. 

“Indeed. Because I want her to look at you, Albus. Something is not right,” Minerva said, green eyes boring into him. “You are not yourself, Albus. I can barely recognize you. Do you even recognize yourself?”

Albus paused. He guessed some of his recent decisions were really a bit out of character for him. And considering the fact that even Fawkes saw the need to intervene it maybe was reason enough to worry. “Very well,” he said, gracefully getting up from his chair. “Let us go and see Poppy then. When we’re at it, she can also look at my hip. It has started acting up again.”

Minerva nodded, relief clearly showing in her face. She really seemed worried, therefore seeing Poppy was at least good for one thing: reassuring Minerva McGonagall. Maybe she would start seeing reason after Poppy confirmed he was all right, because Minerva was an important ally and he needed her firmly at his side.

  
  


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“Albus has been poisoned, probably over weeks.”

It was only a few hours until Minerva was back with the devastating news, her face grave as she retold the events of the day. 

Hermione sat on the bed, Severus right next to her, clasping her hands tight. 

“Poisoned? How?” he asked, his voice flat.

“We do not know. I convinced him to go to the hospital wing so Poppy could take a look. She says the poison has been attacking his nervous system bit by bit, indicating that he has ingested it over weeks in small doses. We do not know how.” The witch seemed tired, her eyes staring at Severus with a lost expression. 

“That is unfortunate then. I doubt it is the food. The house elves would never harm Albus, as they see him as their master. Whoever wanted to poison the food, would have to find a way past them,” he observed, rubbing soothing circles onto the back of Hermione’s hand. “Have you checked his sweets? Wouldn't be the first time someone managed to poison them.”

Minerva sighed. “I was actually hoping you’d be willing to help us find the source, Severus. I know Horace is the potions master of the castle now, but even though he is quite competent at teaching students, he has rarely encountered anything worse than a potions accident. I would prefer if you’d be the one treating Albus, and maybe you can even figure out how he’s been poisoned.”

He raised his eyebrow at her. “You want me to return to the castle to treat the man who’s tried to kill me and attacked my fiancée. Even if I would trust you not to lure me into a trap, I do not see why I should be willing to help him. What does Albus have to say on the matter? Does he even know that you returned to my side, asking for help?”

At that, Minerva pulled a grimace. “He is not aware of me being here. Poppy put him into a magically induced sleep in the hope to slow down the poison raging through his nervous system. He will not be awake when you return to Hogwarts, nor will you be in his reach when he wakes up.”

_ ‘If he wakes up,’ _ Severus thought, grimacing internally. Salazar, if Albus died it would be a massive blow for the Order, as the most powerful wizard supporting their cause would be out of the equation. Would they even have a chance without him? It was that thought that made him even consider Minerva’s request, but it was a decision he could not make on his own. Therefore he turned to Hermione, his eyes seeking her out as he asked: “What do you think, my heart?”

The woman at his side sighed. “If he truly has been poisoned, then we do not know how much of his actions have been influenced by the poison. But what worries me more is that whoever poisoned him is still in the castle. What will that person do as soon as the Headmaster is out of the way? Who will be next? Professor McGonagall? Harry?” She shook her head. “I have the feeling that no matter what we do, we’re always a step behind. How will we ever be safe and live in peace, if we keep going like this?”

Severus nodded. “Winning this war was never an easy task to begin with, Hermione. There was always the chance of failure, but with Dumbledore working against us…” He fell silent, but saying more was not necessary. Hermione understood.

  
“See?” she asked, her eyes full of fire. “What if that is what You-Know-Who wants? He doesn’t even need to raise a finger, when we start working against each other. I know we cannot be sure if the Headmaster will change his mind, but if we are refusing to help him now, aren’t we just proving him right?”

From the corner of his eye he saw Minerva nod, a proud smile playing on her lips. Blasted Gryffindors. Did they even have an ounce of self-preservation?

“If I get killed while trying to help Albus, I’ll be coming back to haunt you, Minerva, do you understand?” Severus asked, his eyebrow raised, while he looked at the elderly witch with narrowed , threatening eyes.

But all he got for an answer was an amused chuckle from her. “You’re such a drama-queen, Severus. No one is getting killed today. You have my word. If Albus lifts as much as a finger to hurt you, I’ll hex him into the next year.”

Severus snorted. That was something he’d love to see, he thought, even though the logical part of himself hoped that it would not come to this. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Being back at the castle was … strange, and Hermione did not know if she meant strange in a good or a bad way. She was of course anxious to get back to her own room, change into some of her own clothes, and she did so promptly after Professor McGonagall and Severus left her to see the Headmaster. But her favourite sweater could only give her so much comfort, after she and Severus had been forced to flee the castle. Even after being poisoned, she had still felt somewhat safe at Hogwarts, trusting the Headmaster and her elves to protect her from the worst. But after Pretty’s death and now Dumbledore’s sudden and unexpected attack, Hermione no longer felt safe, at least not with Severus gone from the room. 

Would they even stay? Or would her mate do whatever they could only to take her away with him again? She would prepare for that second option, Hermione decided and hastily went to her wardrobe. There, she found a simple leather bag - the one she bought on one of the shopping trips her mum had convinced her to join when she visited her parents over Christmas break. 

“Mistress is back.”

She had not heard her elf arriving and was startled by the squeaky voice suddenly addressing her from behind. There he was, Fiercely, staring at her with huge, hopeful eyes and at his side Crooks, who looked grumpy but  _ very _ fell fed. She had not seen him since they had lost Pretty, as she wanted to give him enough time to bury his friend. Afterwards there was no time, with them being on the run, hiding in the Muggle world - or so she thought. But now when she saw her elf like this, Hermione thought that she should have called for him anyway. He must have gone mad with worry and from the lack of work.

“Fiercely! I am so sorry for leaving you behind,” she said and dashed towards her elf, to pull him into a gentle hug. “How are you?”

“Fiercely has kept mistress’ belongings in impeccable order and taken care of her cat,” the male exclaimed, his small chest puffed with pride. “Fiercely also prepared to quickly move everything out of the castle, in case the mistress would order him to do so.”

“That was so thoughtful of you,” Hermione praised, secretly thinking that things could have been much easier for her, if she had called for her little servant. But after losing Pretty she had not wanted to risk his life, not when they had no idea who had been following them. 

“You are such a good elf!”

It was like Fiercely was literally growing under her praise, as his whole posture seemed to suddenly change. “Fiercely was not sure if mistress was disappointed with him,” he said, his voice low and hesitant. “Fiercely knows that mistress is still sad about losing her other elf, but Fiercely assures young mistress that there are already many applicants for the open position.”

Hermione did not know what to say to that. She did not want another elf, not so shortly after losing Pretty and maybe not ever. “I was not disappointed with you,” she therefore said, resting her hand on his small shoulder. “You and Pretty protected us, when we could not protect ourselves. What else is there to ask for?” She studied him, tears starting to form behind her eyes, as the feelings threatened to overwhelm her. “But to be honest with you: I do not think I could hire a new house-elf after Pretty. It does not feel right to just replace her.”

The elf’s eyes widened. “Mistress does not want to send the elves away? Most of them came in the great hope to be invited to work for master and mistress and Fiercely assures mistress Hermione that all of them are very good elves.”

Hermione blinked. Why did it sound like Fiercely  _ wanted _ her to hire a new elf - or were they even talking... plural? She felt a surge of panic. “How many elves are there, waiting to be hired?” she asked, starting to feel faint.

Her servant smiled proudly. “Fiercely has already spoken to five females and three males. But there are others, eager to get Fiercely’s attention in the hope to be invited to speak to young mistress, too.” 

“Eight elves?” Hermione asked, full of disbelief. “I do not think… I will need to talk to Severus. House elves are very expensive, Fiercely. Even if he agrees to buy me another elf…”

Fiercely shook his batty-eared head. “No, mistress. Elves are wanting to work for master and mistress for free. Master and mistress are known among elves now, as their name is whispered from elf to elf and Pretty’s name along with it. Those elves are free elves, born in one of the nests in the south. It is not easy to get work and a home for elves these days, as finding a good and powerful master has become very difficult, you see?”

She did not. Hermione was completely confused, in fact, shaking her head while her mouth seemed to refuse to shut again. “Free elves?” she asked, her voice sounding much higher than it should. How was this even possible? Why would a free creature want to be bound, leave its home and family to serve for a lifetime? 

She swallowed. “I will consider it, Fiercely. Thank you for letting me know,” she found herself replying, hoping to buy herself more time. Luckily Fiercely nodded, seeming happy enough with her answer. 

“Of course, mistress. Fiercely is delighted you’s is back. Does mistress wish for some food? Clothes? A drink maybe?”

It was obvious that her little servant was itching for some work and with a sigh she sat down onto her bed, suddenly feeling bonelessly tired. 

“Tea would be lovely,” she said, a fake smile plastered onto her lips. “And afterwards… would you mind getting one of my friends for me? There really is something I need to discuss.”

  
  


  
  
  
  



	86. The Cure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe it, but this story is really slowly coming to an end. There are maybe three or four chapters left for me to write (which means around 95 chapters in total). 
> 
> And suddenly the end-of-story-blues hits. I mean, this story has been such a crazy journey and a much longer one than I expected. But I do not regret a single POV I included. 
> 
> Thank you to my amazing Beta, Justsare, who tirelessly reads my chapters and corrects my English. I learn so much through her kind advice.

“You’ve been missing for almost a week and all you want to talk about is house-elves?” 

Blaise was lounging casually on her sofa, the cup of tea elegantly balanced on his thigh. “For Goddess’ sake, Hermione, Malfoy and I have been worried out of our minds!”

Hermione nodded, smiling guiltily. “Sorry. I am not sure how much else I can tell you right now, not when Severus is still with the Headmaster.”

Blaise looked at her with a raised brow. “Has he sent you on a mission?” But before she could answer, her friend shook his head. “All right, sorry. I do not want to pressure you for information you are not free or willing to give. Just tell me you are all right so I can stop worrying.”

Hermione smiled. “I am all right,” she assured him, smiling. 

“Good,” Blaise said, nodding in relief. “That is at least something. So house-elves, huh? What happened?”

She sighed, unsure how much she could tell him. Even though they had let Minerva and Malfoy in on their secret, she did not think it would be wise telling Blaise as well. She trusted him not to go shouting her secret from the rooftops, but he did have contact with several Death Eater families, even if it was through his mother. And with him being so openly her friend… no, it was too risky. 

“I did have two house-elves. Severus bought them for my protection,” she explained and saw the boy nod. “One of them died recently, she died protecting me from some sort of Dark Magic.”

Hermione swallowed, taking a shaky breath in the hope to calm herself. Blaise of course could read the sign, as she found his hand resting on her shoulder a moment later, his dark eyes staring at her, full of worry.

“I am sorry, Mione,” he said, not even hesitating at the use of the affectionate shortening of her name. “But you say you are alright? Who attacked you?”

Hermione shook her head. “I am  _ fine _ , Blaise,” she assured him, hastily wiping a lonely tear away. “And I am sorry I cannot tell you more than that.”

Her friend nodded, while carefully sipping his cup of tea. “I will not press you. As a Slytherin, I understand the need to keep your cards close to your chest. I am not taking it personally. So, what is it you wanted to ask me about the elves?”

Hermione nodded. “There appears to be an unexpectedly high number of free elves applying for the empty position,” she explained, unable to mask the confusion in her voice. “Only I never announced that I am even looking for another elf. I mean, they are free elves. Why would they even want to bind themselves to me, or Severus? Fiercely, my other elf, said they’d want to work for us for free.”

Blaise let out a low whistle. “You must have left a hell of an impression then,” he said, smiling amusedly. “Usually elves do not approach a witch or wizard like this. It is true that most of them seek work, as they need to feel useful and the binding to a family extends their life-span quite significantly. But usually, they seek the help of specialized wizards to find them work or even better, a family willing to take them in, taking pride in how much money they can be sold for. Elves do not care for money, you see, all they care about is work and a magically strong family to bind themselves to. Their monetary value is the way they rank themselves if there are more than one serving a family. The most expensive one is the elf that is likely to be in charge of the others.”

Hermione tried to take all of that in, but her head was already spinning from all the new information. “So elves are just so expensive because they seek out the help of the greediest wizards?”

Blaise shrugged. “Not these ones, obviously. Apparently, the elves offering their services to you did not care about being sold as expensively as possible. They only use the means of being expensive to get into powerful wizarding families anyway, as no average wizarding family can afford them that way. It is their way of making sure that the family taking them in is powerful enough to protect them and that they have enough work to provide for them. You and Snape appear to have both.”

Hermione nodded, absentmindedly. “What you describe sounds more like a symbiosis,” she observed, her mind already starting to analyse the new information. 

Her friend shrugged once more. “Whatever that is supposed to be. Anyway, this is the answer I have for you: You seem to have something those elves are most eager to get. Only you know what that is.”

Unfortunately, she did not know, not for sure. Maybe she would ask Fiercely one day. “Do you think I should accept, Blaise? It somehow feels wrong to just have another elf, after…”

She broke off, but her friend looked at her with an understanding smile. “Only you can say how much it would hurt you to do so. I can only tell you that you’d probably make your other elf very happy through doing so. They are much happier when working with a partner, or two. Depending on his or her age they might even consider starting a family.”

Hermione looked at him with wide eyes and when their eyes met Blaise started to grin. “What? Don’t tell me you’re still shy after all this time of being engaged.”

Hermione shoved his shoulder, laughing. “You’re impossible,” she said, but she realized that she had already started to feel better. It was good to be back, she thought, and a part of her hoped that she would not be forced to leave again. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  
  


It was bad, very bad. Severus had done his own diagnostics, not believing the results Poppy presented him with. But they were true, the Headmaster had been poisoned for months, the fact that the man had been able to even think straight any longer being close to a miracle. Others would have been dead or at least gone insane, where Albus had just become paranoid, or whatever his behaviour could be called. How much of it was reversible would have to be seen. 

“We need to find the source of the poisoning,” he announced even though that was what Minerva had already told him hours ago. “Even though I do have a good guess on what the poison might be, I’d rather make sure before I start treating him.”

“You’ll do it then? You’ll help him?” Minerva asked, sounding hopeful. 

“I’ll consider it,” he replied carefully. “I need to speak to Hermione first, though. I promised to include her in the decisions we have to make. If we stay we also need to figure out what to tell people.”

Minerva nodded. “Talk to her,” she said with a kind smile. “And let me know as soon as you’ve made a decision. I do have the feeling that time is of essence.”

Severus agreed. “We will discuss it right away. You’ll have my answer within the hour.”

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Blaise had just left her when Severus strode into her chambers, his face serious. Hermione only had to take one look at him to realize that things were not well, and his words confirmed her suspicions right away. Her mate was worried, and so was she. Helping the Headmaster was an easy decision, not only because it was the right thing to do. And so it was barely an hour later that she found herself in the Headmaster’s office, Fawkes on his perch greeting them with a melodic trill. 

“I am glad to see you too,” she cooed and following an impulse petted the bird’s head. “Your master is very sick, but I guess you already knew that, don’t you, you clever bird?”

The phoenix warbled his head, causing Hermione to smile. Then she turned towards the office, scanning the surfaces in determination. Severus was right at her side, Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn only a few metres away. They needed to find what it was that poisoned Professor Dumbledore and by the look of it, they were planning to do so with united powers and minds. But while the Professors started scanning every possible surface and device in the room, Hermione started thinking while she kept watching them absentmindedly. And after she did so for a while, a suspicion started blooming in her. 

“Test his Pensieve,” she said, her eyes focussing on Severus. Her mate nodded, walking to the large basin without hesitation. A short spell and wave of his wand were enough to confirm her suspicion. 

“How did you know?” he asked later when they were back in his chambers, the contents of the Pensieve emptied and carefully studied. Severus would start brewing the antidote later, and Hermione was determined to offer her help.

“Professor Slughorn,” she said calmly. “He kept looking towards the Pensieve, as if the thing was somewhat unsettling or confusing him. He had been the one poisoning the Headmaster’s sweets, wasn’t he? I cannot prove it, of course, but what if he poisoned the Pensieve the same day, hoping that no one would discover what he’d done?”

Severus looked at her with furrowed brows. “I questioned Slughorn, Hermione. I even examined his memories with Legilimency. There was no memory of him poisoning or even touching the Pensieve, Hermione.”

“I know,” she said contemplatively. “Can Legilimency retrieve obliviated memories? Because whoever Imperiused him could have forced him to remove that particular memory, as soon as the deed was done. That’s at least what I would have done.”

Her mate stared at her for a long moment. “You are a scarily smart witch, Hermione,” he said, kissing her forehead with a proud smile. 

Hermione smiled. “I am  _ your  _ scarily smart witch,” she corrected him, before adding. “So? Do you think you’d be able to recover an obliviated memory?” she asked.

Severus looked at her with a grim smile. “I am determined to find out,” he said, offering her his hand to help her get up. Hermione followed him out of his chambers moments later. She’d hate to be in Professor Slughorn’s shoes, but she guessed they had to check her theory if they ever wanted to find the imposter in the castle. Her theory was the only one they had so far and if Severus deemed it worth trying, then they’d do just that.

  
  
  


ssssssss

  
  


When Albus woke up Merlin knows how many days later, he felt tired - which should not have been possible after so many days of sleep. But here he was, feeling old and worn and emotionally drained. 

When he tried to remember his last day, or even weeks, all he came up with were snippets of memories or pictures, some of them being more than worrisome. Were they true or were those dreams - dreams his sleep-clouded mind had come up with?

“Albus.”

Minerva’s voice sounded worried, he found, and when he slowly opened his eyes, blinking against the dimmed light of the room, he could see her face, deep wrinkles of worry etched into it. Something had happened, he thought and by the looks of it, Minerva had carried the brunt of it on her shoulders. 

“Minerva, my Dear,” he said, realizing how hoarse his voice sounded. “I imagine you are not here for Lemon Drops and tea?”

She shook her head, tears shining behind her eyes. “I wish I was, you impossible man. How are you feeling?”

“Old,” he said, smiling, but he was not sure if he did so convincingly. Probably not, as Minerva still looked at him full of worry, even though he could see the tiniest of nods. 

“How much do you remember?”

Albus furrowed his brows. “There was Miss Granger being poisoned in my office. She is all right though, is she not? Did I eat any of the sweets as well? I always had a sweet tooth, you know?”

Minerva made what had to be a mixture of a sob and a chuckle. “Oh Albus,” she said, her hand taking his wrinkly one ever so gently. She rarely touched him, always respected the boundaries they had set for themselves decades ago. That she now crossed them for what was probably a comforting touch worried him as much as the haunted look in her eyes. “We were so worried about you.”

“What happened, my dear?” he found himself asking, registering the warmth and softness of her aging hand. It would have been almost comforting if there had not been the nagging feeling in the back of his head. 

Then, when she summed up the events of the recent weeks to him, he started to understand, the nagging feeling growing into a full-blown headache. He had a lot of apologising and grovelling to do, hoping that Severus would be willing to return to the castle and back to his side. Albus could only hope the man would even be willing to talk to him in the first place, but the fact that he had been the one designing and brewing his cure gave him reason to hope.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus was tired; no, he was exhausted. Ever since they had returned to the castle he had been on his feet, first looking for the origin of Albus’ poisoning, later on to find a cure and administer it. Slughorn, the fool, was no help, stammering his apologies and repeating his declarations of having been unaware of the part he had played in the Headmaster’s fortune. Severus believed him; whoever had pulled the man’s strings had been really clever about it, but it did not make him like the old fart any better or lessen the burden he had to carry. 

Hermione, his brilliant, patient witch, supported him wherever she could. She never complained, stayed up as late as she could and supported him in the lab, preparing ingredients and scrubbing cauldrons without ever losing the supportive and understanding smile on her face. He loved her more than ever, even though he could barely show or tell her those last days. 

“It is done,” he exclaimed, peeling out of his robes and staggering towards the bathroom with slow steps. He needed a shower, or better a bath, because he felt sweaty and greasy as one could only feel after hours and days of being exposed to potion fumes. 

“Do you know how long it will take him to wake up?” he heard Hermione from the direction of the bedroom and he assumed she was reading or resting on his bed. 

“ A few hours, at most,” he said, unbuttoning his shirt and kicking off his trousers and underwear, and leaving them on the floor for the house-elves to clean. 

“I see,” Hermione replied, just when he stepped into the bathroom, realizing that the bathtub was already full and steaming, a cup of tea waiting for him on the edge. Severus blinked. 

“Did you plan on taking a bath?” he shouted towards the bedroom, only to realize that Hermione was walking towards him, her petite body only clad by one of his silky bath-robes. His breath hitched. Seeing her in those clothes,  _ his _ clothes, and with that smile on her face did things to him… Hadn’t he been tired only a few seconds ago?

“That depends…” she said, walking towards him with slow grace. “Do you want to be out of the castle when the headmaster wakes up? Or do you think it is safe enough for us to stay?”

He considered her words, even though most of the blood seemed to leave his brain, moving south. “We will be safe enough in these chambers,” he finally announced. “I designed the wards myself. He will not even find these rooms, if he has the intention of harming either of us.”

Hermione smiled. “Good,” she said and with the next step she took, the silky bathrobe slid towards the floor, exposing the very naked body beneath. “Then I think I will be taking a bath,” she announced, the tone in her voice making his skin tingle in anticipation. It had been too long, he realized, his eyes already taking in the curve of her breasts and her arse. 

“Mind if I join you?” he asked, his half-hard cock already giving away his intentions. Hermione did not seem to mind though, her caramel-brown eyes taking him in with a hungry glint in them. 

“Not at all,” she said, walking past him, her fingers casually brushing against his thigh. “Actually I was kind of hoping you would.”

“Did you now?” he asked, his voice low as he stepped behind her, gripping her hips just as she was about to climb into the bathtub. He ground his cock against her then, unable to resist the temptation of her naked arse.

“I most definitely did,” she exclaimed, her words half swallowed by the moan escaping her mouth. 

He smiled before bestowing a heated kiss onto her shoulder blade. “Then get into the tub, witch,” he murmured, nipping her soft skin with his teeth before he let go of her hips. “I will be right behind you.”

Hermione climbed into the tub with an elegant move and for the first time Severus wished he’d ordered a bigger one when moving into these chambers. But they would make do, he thought while climbing into the water after her, positioning himself half on top of her, between her legs. Before he could say another word her arms came around his neck, pulling him down into a heated kiss that left no doubt of his attentions being welcome. He had thought they would be, after she so cleverly put his mind off sleeping. 

“I missed you,” she murmured into his mouth, while her clever hands wandered down his shoulder blades. He understood, completely. In the end it had taken all his self-control to not put the damned potion under a stasis charm and fuck her right across the table in his lab, or to just pull her towards his bed to fall asleep in her arms. But there had been no time for that, no time for them, and Severus hated it more and more with every hour that passed. 

“The feeling was mutual,” he rumbled into her ear, pressing his body against hers while the hot water was pooling around them. He would not hurry through this, even though his body ached for her closeness, for its release, but they had spent too much time apart to only make this a quick fuck in the bathtub. Instead he took his time kissing her increasingly wet body, sucking her nipples, earlobes and pulse point while her fingers raked over his back, clawing his skin until he hissed and sunk his teeth into her. 

“Patience, my heart,” he murmured, his tongue licking the skin his teeth had just nipped. She hummed as a reply, her head sinking back against the edge of the bathtub. Only a moment later her hands started to wander again, sinking into his hair and gripping it as he continued to taste her, while his fingers slipped between her folds. It was only minutes until she mewled and moaned with pleasure, her lips feverishly repeating his name like it was some sort of prayer. Severus relished in the sound of her voice, his breath stuttering as her tiny hand suddenly wrapped around his cock, pumping him once before guiding him between her legs. He did not need to be told twice, sinking into her tightness a moment later while sealing her open lips with a kiss. 

“Gods I missed you, Sev,” she moaned into his mouth before kissing him with a hunger that he would have never thought possible a few months ago.  _ Sev _ , he thought while he slowly thrust into her again and again. No one had called him that ever since Lily and he had not expected that anyone would ever call him by a pet name again. But now he realized how much he loved that he had been proved wrong, loved the familiarity and trust that had built between them during the last weeks. 

Severus chose to answer her without words, putting as much feeling and love as he could into his kisses, his touch, while his eyes bored into her, never breaking eye contact. When he finally made her come, fingers rubbing her nub while he made love to her ever so slowly, he drank in the sight of her like a thirsty man. Five more thrusts drove him over the edge as well, his breath stuttering while he spilled his seed into her, clinging onto her tightly while he rode out his orgasm. 

Afterwards he kissed her long and slowly, his hands cupping her face while his heart tightened with love for his brilliant, loyal Gryffindor. Once more he realized how perfect she was for him and he swore he’d never let her go, no matter what fate, Voldemort or Dumbledore kept throwing at them. Hermione Granger was his and right in that moment, Severus allowed himself to dream of a long and happy life with her, determined to make this dream become reality. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	87. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. Here is another chapter for you. Enjoy. Thank you for your ongoing support for this story. I am overwhelmed by how much love and how many comments it got. I never expected this, when I started to write it, especially as I was completely new to this pairing. I have written a fair bit of friendship between Severus and Hermione, true. But I never before wrote them in a pairing. Now, when wrapping up that story I can say that it was as difficult as I expected it to be. Those two are so stubborn, but also so much fun to write. I might even do it again. 
> 
> My biggest thanks go to my amazing beta, Justsare. I am thrilled to have her support!
> 
> Now let us see if Albus can fix that mess, shall we? 

It took another day for Albus to be allowed to leave the hospital wing and even though Minerva, Filius, and even Horace visited him, the person he wanted to see the most was suspiciously absent. He understood of course; after all, he had aimed to kill the boy, if Minerva was to be believed. 

This whole situation was a mess, a disaster, and Albus had no idea how to set it right and bring the boy back into the fold. But he had to if he wanted to put an end to the war, without Tom being on the winning side. 

The way through the castle towards the man’s door seemed longer than he remembered and even though Albus could have easily used the floo, he forced himself to walk all the way down into the dungeons. His back ached, as did his joints, but it did not matter. Severus deserved him knocking at his door in person, asking if he could come in in person, not through the flames of his fireplace. He needed to know that Albus cared because it was the only way to gain his forgiveness. 

Knocking on Severus’ door (which he was able to find, today) was amongst the hardest things that he had ever done - and Albus had done a great number of things. 

The door opened silently only a moment later.

“Headmaster.” Severus’ voice was flat, emotionless, while his eyes looked at him full of steel. “What do you want?”

Ah. The boy was going to make it difficult for him, then. Well, he did have every right to do so, Albus thought with a sigh. “I wanted to have a word, my boy. May I come in?” 

“You have no right to call me that, not any longer,” his DADA professor said, but to Albus’ relief he stepped aside. 

Albus nodded, not questioning him as he stepped into the cosy living room. In the back of the room, he could see Miss Granger, hurrying to her feet only to stare at him in nervous anticipation, her hand twitching, probably in the need to reach for her wand. Good Godric, the girl was probably scared beyond her wits. He needed to reassure her, Albus realized, before nodding towards her with a reassuring smile on his lips. 

“Miss Granger. I assure you there is no danger from me today,” he said, his voice calm and patient. “I merely came to talk… and to apologize,” he said, looking back and forth between the two of them. Severus carefully walked past him, joining his fiancée a moment later, his eyes never leaving Albus as he did so. Albus saw them lock their hands and he looked at their entwined fingers with a soft smile. It was obvious how in love they were with each other and now, with his head cleared from the fog, he could not understand how he could have assumed that Severus would ever use or hurt the girl. He, especially, knew the value of love freely given and returned. 

“Apologize then,” Severus prompted him, his voice cold. “And then do us a favour and leave us alone, Headmaster.” 

Severus called him ‘Headmaster’ again, not Albus, he realized in dismay. This would indeed be a difficult conversation and for once Albus had no idea how to go about it. He licked his lips. “I am deeply sorry for attacking you - both of you - and for suspecting you, Severus, to be involved with Dark Magic. Alone the nature of your bond and the fact of you being bound by White Magic should have made it obvious to me, that such a thing is impossible.”

Miss Granger nodded at his words, while Severus just kept staring at him, his face not giving his emotions away. Albus could only hope that he was on the right track, as he could not know for sure. “Even under the influence of that poison, I should have known I can trust you, Severus, as we have known and come to trust each other for years. I should not have so easily discarded a trust, that has been built over decades and through living through the darkest of times.”

“Indeed,” the younger man said while shaking his head. 

Albus sighed. “Even though I suspected you, I should at least have given you the chance to explain yourself, but I guess at that point I was too far gone. I don’t even remember attacking you.”

“How very convenient for you,” Severus commented dryly. 

Albus shook his head. “Quite the opposite. I would prefer to be able to remember instead of having other people tell me, or letting my fantasy run wild. I can see that I have hurt you deeply - not physically, thank Merlin - but I can see the gleam of distrust in your eyes.”

Miss Granger nodded. “Can you blame us, Professor? You almost killed us and if it wasn’t for Fawkes…”

Yes, his familiar’s change of loyalties should at least have thrown him off. Fawkes was the most loyal creature of earth and his trust in the bird should not have been so easily shattered. Distrusting his familiar was probably his biggest sin. “Yes, Miss Granger, I know. And as I said, I am deeply sorry for attacking and distrusting you in the first place. Unfortunately, my actions can not be undone, no matter how much I wish otherwise. The past cannot be changed, not even by someone as powerful as myself.”

_ ‘And thank Merlin for that,’ _ he added in his thoughts, not daring to imagine what he would have done under the influence of the poison with such possibilities at hand. Whoever poisoned his mind had made a cruel yet brilliant move, turning him against his allies like a loaded weapon ready to fire. He had been used, played, and he hadn’t even been aware of it. Tom could have easily destroyed the Order and with it all opposition, and he wouldn’t even have needed to lift his own wand to do so. Albus shuddered. The blood would have been on his hands.

“But I assure you, Miss Granger, there is no danger from me now. Severus’ antidote has worked perfectly, and I feel much more in control of my thoughts and actions now,” he assured her calmly, and with all the patience he could muster. 

“Even in your intoxicated state, you should not have attacked an innocent schoolgirl,” Severus replied evenly. “I might be able to forgive you for attacking me, but I will not forgive you for endangering Hermione’s life. She is everything to me and the thought that I could have lost her, through your hand, sickens and angers me to the core.”

He did not know what to say to that, because Severus was right. He should have never attacked the girl, or started to duel Severus with her being close by. “I understand, Severus. But I can only beg you not to abandon me and the Order now. This war is still not won and the only way to assure we all have a future is by working together.”

Severus sighed. “And here we are again, Headmaster, with you trying to manipulate us to do your bidding.”

“If telling the truth means manipulation to you, then yes, I am guilty of what you are accusing me off. I want us to work together, Severus. Only the both of us can make sure Tom can be killed and get rid of him forever. We cannot let this burden fall to innocent students, like Mr Potter, and even Minerva is not strong enough to carry it alone,” Albus reminded him seriously. 

The other man growled. “Leave Potter out of this. Mentioning Lily’s son here will not help you, not anymore. You used him long enough to leash me, but not any longer.”

Albus sighed. “And what about Miss Granger? Do you not want a safe future for her? Because I cannot see her abandoning her friends only to ride into the sunset with you, my boy.”

He realized he had gone too far when he saw the glint in Severus’ eyes, his fist coming forward to punch his face a moment later. “You self-righteous, manipulative bastard,” Severus growled, his face pulled into a grimace. “Of course I want a safe future for her, but that does not mean I will ever do your bidding again. My days of being used by you are  _ over _ , old man. For all I care you and the rest of the world can go to hell, as long as I have her safely in my arms.”

Albus wiped his nose, registering the blood pouring from him, smearing the back of his hand. He would heal it later, but for now, he’d let it be, as he guessed he deserved the pain resulting from it. “And I will help you make this possible, Severus. Please. I will never be able to find all of those Horcruxes on my own, not without the extensive knowledge you have collected over the years. You know this man like no one else does.”

Severus’ hand twitched. “Did we not agree to not use that term in Hermione’s presence, as long as she is not versed in Occlumency?” He asked angrily.

Albus sighed. “We did indeed, Severus. But I think it was a mistake. In the past, I have mostly kept my knowledge to myself, out of fear of trusting the wrong persons. But I do have the feeling that this task can only be solved as a team, which means that I intend to not only tell Miss Granger, but Minerva and Remus as well. Or do you have any doubts in their loyalty, Severus?”

It was the first time Severus’ expression changed, as suddenly a hint of surprise flickered over his features. “I have no reason to doubt their loyalty,” he admitted, sounding much calmer than he had moments ago. 

“Good. Maybe if we all work on this problem together, we will find a way to locate and destroy those  _ abominations  _ and maybe we’ll find the peace all of us desire to find.”

Miss Granger nodded, determination blooming on her face. He could tell she was on the brink of agreeing with him, but he could tell that it was not her he needed to convince, even though her support would, without doubt, be very helpful. 

“What an idyllic picture you are painting,” Severus said dryly. “A wonderful dream.”

“A dream, yes,” he agreed, smiling gently. “But maybe together we can make it come true. Talk to Miss Granger, tell her about the Horcruxes. And maybe we can come to an understanding and work together again. Take your time to think things through. I do not need your answer today.”

“Nor will you get it,” Severus answered promptly. “Was there anything else you wanted?”

Albus sighed. The boy was not making this easy for him, but he guessed that is what he deserved for destroying the trust that had been built between them over many years. It could only be rebuilt slowly, and all Albus could hope for right now was more time to do so.

“Indeed, there is,” he said kindly. “Will you continue working as my Professor, Severus? I can tell you have been sorely missed by your colleagues and the students.”

Severus snorted. “Stop laying it thick. I know most of those brats hate me and I could not care less.” He paused, throwing his mate a long look, and Albus felt like some sort of unspoken communication was going on between them. Finally, Severus continued: “Yes, I will keep teaching for you. We will remain at the castle, if only to not constantly be on the run and for Hermione being able to finish her education. But be aware that as soon as this bloody war comes to an end, you have seen the last of me,  _ Headmaster _ .”

Albus swallowed, the taste of blood growing more and more prominent in his mouth. “I see. I guess this is all I can ask for from you. Severus, Miss Granger… I wish you a good day.”

He nodded towards them with a friendly smile before he retreated towards the door. He saw the girl relax as soon as he reached out for the door handle and a pang of guilt and misery gripped his heart. It would be a long way to regain their trust, he realized, but Albus was determined to do so - for more reasons than for winning this war against Tom.

  
  


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Hermione felt herself deflate as soon as Professor Dumbledore had left the room, the permanent tension in the room having been almost palpable. She could not help but be unsettled by the man’s presence, no matter how often he assured her that there was no danger from him. She could tell Severus was having similar feelings, as she felt him relax next to her, his fingers brushing against the back of her hand before he let go of her. 

“I guess we should sit down,” he said, his voice sounding serious and contemplative. “As the Headmaster has so kindly put the duty to inform you about Horcruxes into my hands, I intend to do so, thoroughly… and comfortably seated.”

Hermione smiled. “Should I ask Fiercely to bring some tea? Biscuits maybe?” she asked, noting Severus’ nod.

“If you want. I’d wait with the ingestion of the food until I am done with my explanation though. Those things are better discussed on an empty stomach, if you get what I am trying to say.”

She did and communicated it to Severus with an uneasy smile. Horcruxes, huh? If Severus had wanted to wait on telling her until she had mastered Occlumency, it surely was important. Therefore she was determined to listen - and to not lose the contents of her stomach, if it could be helped. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Hermione had taken the news surprisingly well, the prospect of somebody splitting his soul through ritualized murder not shocking her as much as he’d expected. But Severus guessed his mate had been through a lot of crazy shit and the fact of Lord Voldemort doing abominable things like that were no longer a surprise to her. He guessed it would have been different if he’d told her about Harry’s fate, but he would not do so until they had gotten rid of at least a few of the other Horcruxes, because the fate was only sealed as long as there was no other part of Lord Voldemort’s soul left to destroy. Otherwise the boy’s death would have been for nothing.

Severus sighed. When exactly had he decided that it was necessary to kill Lily’s son? Until recently that had not even been a real option for him. Now, suddenly, it was. But he guessed the war hardened all of their hearts and even though his heart had grown softer in many aspects, it had hardened in others.

“Will you help the Headmaster to search for these Horcruxes?” Hermione asked calmly. She had taken hold of her cup, moving it ever so slowly while staring transfixed at the swirling liquid inside. 

She had not drunk a single sip, but Severus had not expected her to.

“Do you want me to?” he returned the question to her, because really, this was not a thing he wanted to decide alone. His life no longer belonged just to him, it belonged to her as well, which meant he had to be more careful with it than he used to be.

Hermione shrugged. “I know you do not want to work with the Headmaster and I can’t blame you, really. But in a way he is right, you know. There is no one who knows You-Know-Who better than you do, at least no one on our side.”

Severus sighed. She was right, of course. 

“Helping Professor Dumbledore with your knowledge cannot hurt, I guess,” she continued while carefully placing her cup on the coffee table only to grab his hand. “I don’t know how dangerous it is to destroy these things, though. How does one destroy a piece of somebody’s soul?”

“There are several possibilities: Fiendfire, the Killing Curse, and the most potent poisons. I think Basilisk venom would do quite nicely,” he explained, only to see her eyes light up.

“Well, we do have a dead basilisk lying around at the school,” she said, a smile playing on her mouth. “Harry destroyed that blasted diary by piercing it with a tooth and it was definitely enough to kill Tom Riddle, or what was left of him.”

“A Basilisk you say?” he asked, suddenly eager to see and harvest the remains of the beast. “Could you show me where it is?”

Hermione smiled. “I have never been to the Chamber of Secrets myself, but Harry has been there. It required a Parselmouth to open the passage, you see.” 

“Of course it does,” Severus said dryly. “Do you think Potter would be willing to take us there?”

His mate shrugged. “I think so. Asking him nicely cannot hurt, can it?”

It could not, Severus thought, internally gritting his teeth. He’d be on his best behaviour, he decided, and hoped that Harry Potter would treat him as civilly as he had the last time. He guessed he would find out, soon. 

  
  


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	88. All for one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is done. I finished writing the story. It is 95 chapters in total. Gods, I am proud but also so sad that things are ending soon. I have come to enjoy your company and your comments so much.
> 
> Thank you again to my amazing beta Justsare. She is super fast and reliable, reading through the thousands of words I send her every week.

Five hours, several harvested Basilisk teeth and a long shower later, Hermione found herself in Severus’ bed, snuggling into the man’s chest. This day would surely qualify as one of the strangest days in her life with Professor Dumbledore’s apology, Severus positively charming Harry into accompanying them into the Chamber of Secrets and harvesting a gigantic, decaying Basilisk that was crawling with larvae, bugs, and whatnot. It took all her self-restraint not to puke all over Severus’ valuable ingredients or run from the hordes of rats that seemed to be everywhere. She was pretty sure that day would feature in her future nightmares more than just once. But now it was done, the day was over, and all that was left to do was to snuggle into her fiancé and talk about an entirely different topic. Because Fiercely still waited impatiently for her answer and Hermione knew that she could not let him stew much longer.

“Severus?” she asked and saw how Severus’ eyes focussed on her, waiting for her to continue. “There is another problem I wanted to discuss with you. Fiercely approached me some days ago…”

“Did he now?” Severus asked, a smile playing on his face. “How many house-elves do you want to adopt then?” he asked, barely able to hide his amusement.

Hermione stared at him with wide eyes. “You knew?”

Severus chuckled. “The elf probably came to me the same day he approached you. I imagine he was most eager to get permission to hire some of his fellows. I told him the decision was up to you.”

She blinked. “It is?”

“I want you to be the one to coordinate their workload. I am way too busy to do that, Hermione. So, what do you think? How many more house-elves can you supply with work?”

Hermione carefully considered his question. As long as they were at Hogwarts there was not so much left to do, or was there? “Could I send an elf to work at your house? Or… do you think they could have a way to sense Dark Magic like… Horcruxes? Do you think they would know a way to help?”

Severus smiled. “I do not know, Hermione, but you can always ask them,” he answered, kissing her forehead with a smile. 

“I’ll ask Fiercely first thing in the morning,” Hermione confirmed before she broke out into a yawn. “He’ll need to wait until then. Tonight the only other being I want to talk to is you.”

Her mate grinned. “Good. Because I am most determined to have you all to myself for now.” He underlined his words with a gentle kiss and Hermione could feel herself getting lost in the feeling of his lips. Before long she found herself being cradled in his arms, all thoughts gone from her head as other sensations took over. And she would not have wanted it any different. 

  
  


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In the end they took in three elves; two females and another male. Severus watched in amusement as Hermione welcomed them eagerly to the family, carefully explaining their tasks and putting a very proud Fiercely in charge of two of them. The third one, Tidy, was sent to work at his house and Merlin knew the eager creature would have enough to do, even without Narcissa residing there. The other two elves would stay with them at Hogwarts, the female mostly assisting Hermione, while the male would be assisting him. At first he had his doubts, but Quietly, a middle-aged elf with thin, black hair and piercing yellow eyes, was perfect for assisting him. He eagerly scrubbed his cauldrons and all of the surfaces, a task that Severus had always performed himself, if there was no poor sod he could assign those tasks to during detention. 

Soon enough Severus and Hermione fell back into a sort of normality, with Hermione attending classes and seeing some of her friends in the afternoon. He resumed his teaching duties as well and started to meet the Headmaster, Minerva, Remus, and Hermione twice a week to work on several theories on Horcruxes. With Albus’ Pensieve having been poisoned, most of the memories he had collected were lost to them, but he shared his theory of Lord Voldemort collecting important artefacts to make them into vessels for his soul. With the ring and the diary already being destroyed, that left them with three other artefacts to find, plus Nagini, whom Dumbledore suspected to be the carrier of a soul piece as well.

The snake would be hard enough to get and would have to be killed in direct confrontation with Lord Voldemort, which left them in search for the other three Horcruxes for now. Three weeks into their search Albus presented them with the first idea, a cave close to the orphanage Tom Riddle had lived in as a child. 

“We should search the place as soon as possible then,” Lupin said, his brown eyes flickering eagerly. The man looked much better these days, his mood less broody and his appearance and clothing in much better order - not that Severus was one to judge. 

“Indeed. I expect the place to be heavily protected, though,” Albus remarked, blue eyes studying them intensely. “I am not sure what kind of protections we will meet, but I imagine we might need your expertise.” Even though the Headmaster had looked at no one in particular, Severus had the feeling that the words had been meant for him specifically. 

“I will accompany you of course,” Minerva said with her chin proudly raised. 

“As will I,” Remus added, nodding in determination. 

Severus sighed. He could feel all eyes focussing on him and no matter how much he hated being Dumbledore’s chess piece again, those Gryffindors would be much safer in his company. For a short moment, his eyes sought out Hermione’s and he could see the tiniest of nods from her. He did not even need a single word from her to know that she thought joining them was the right thing to do. No matter how little he liked it, they were in this boat together. Still, he would not offer his help like an over-eager puppy. If Albus wanted his support, he would have to ask for it.

“Good,” he therefore replied, his voice flat. “Try not to get yourself killed. I would hate ending up as a Headmaster of this school. Minerva would be a much better suited candidate.”

Minerva huffed with annoyance. “Do you want me to leave a message behind saying that Filius should take over, if something happened to us?” she asked, her eyebrows raised challengingly. “Really Severus, how about you accompany us to make sure we make it out of this place?”

“We will see about that,” he said nonchalantly. “Lately I find myself being quite busy. If that is all for today, I will bid you a good night.” With that he rose from his chair, calmly walking towards the door of the Headmaster’s office. Hermione followed him quickly, the frown clearly showing on her face. He knew this wasn’t the end of the discussion, but he’d rather talk about this in private and not in front of the Headmaster and a bunch of nosy portraits. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“You will not join them?” Hermione asked him as soon as they had reached his chambers. She hadn’t spoken a single word on their way back and for once Severus was thankful for her silence. 

“That depends,” he said, unbuttoning his heavy robe with a sigh. “I will not make myself a chess-piece ever again, Hermione, a fact I am pretty sure the Headmaster is aware of.”

“And that means?” Hermione asked, but she did not get any further, as a moment later his floo activated and Albus appeared through the flames, asking if he could come through. Severus cast Hermione a meaningful glance.

Only moments later Albus stood in front of them again, his face calm, but the haunted look in his eyes betrayed him. “I know we have had our differences lately, Severus, but I had really hoped you’d overcome them to bring Lord Voldemort to his knees.”

_ ‘I don’t want him on his knees, I want him in his grave, _ ’ Severus thought, his lip twitching. Aloud he said: “I am done serving anybody’s purposes, Headmaster. Hermione is the only one I am feeling committed to and I prefer staying where I can protect her.”

It was true, even though it was not his reason for being hesitant to follow the man into unknown danger. “The best way to protect her is to make sure Tom is no longer a danger to her and this gets much more likely when all of us stay alive. Don’t you think?”

Severus kept silent, his eyes coldly staring at the man in front of him. When the tension was growing almost thick enough to get visible he said: “I will make a deal with you. I will come with you, but I want something in return.”

There was a flicker of disappointment in the old man’s eyes, but Severus could not have cared less. “Of course you do, Severus. What is it that I can do for you?”

He stared at the Headmaster unblinkingly. “I want an Unbreakable Vow from you, Headmaster. I want you to vow that you’ll never again attack or willingly hurt me or Hermione. I do not care if you are poisoned or under the Imperius, Headmaster. I do not want a repetition of this recent incident.”

At that, the man’s expression grew pained. “Is this really necessary, my boy? Is there no trust left between us?”

“I told you not to address me that way,” Severus replied coldly. “I trusted you once, Headmaster, I will not make the same mistake again. Make the vow, or you do have your answer.”

The old man sighed tiredly. “Very well, Severus. This time we will do this on your terms. I will make that vow, but do not think I will be blackmailed into taking any more of them.”

“I just require the one,” Severus said, carefully hiding the smile that wanted to bloom on his face. Never again would he be this man’s puppet, a fact that even Albus Dumbledore would eventually learn. 

  
  


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“Don’t tell me you plan on drinking this,” Minerva said, staring at the Headmaster in disapproval. The boat would only take one of them, but luckily three of them had other ways to cross the Inferi infested water, leaving Remus to take the boat. Severus had flown right across the lake, revealing his Animagus form to the wide-eyed Marauder. He would enjoy this little victory later, when he was safely back in Hermione’s arms. 

“I already tried transfiguring it, my Dear,” Dumbledore replied, eyeing the little drinking bowl that was sitting on the edge of the basin. “But maybe our potions master has another idea how to get the Horcrux that is hidden on the bottom of it.”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Who do you think brewed this potion?” he asked, staring at the three Gryffindor idiots in disbelief. “This is my creation and therefore I know exactly what to do with it. I always wondered what that bastard needed it for.”

In front of three pairs of curious eyes, he took a small phial from his robes, uncorked it and poured its contents into the basin. The potion inside started to boil and evaporate momentarily, and Severus was careful to syphon the green fumes with his wand. It took a while, but eventually, the basin was empty and Minerva carefully levitated the locket into a container she had brought with her. 

“Let us get away from this place,” she sniffed, handing the container over to the Headmaster, before transfiguring herself into a thistle which he carefully picked up with his beak, after he had changed himself into his raven-form as well. They had better get out of this cave, before all of those Inferi woke up. He really did not fancy taking on an army of drowned bodies. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“The locket was an imitation?” Hermione asked, her voice full of worry and disbelief. “How is this possible?”

Severus looked at her with a crooked smile, while he wrapped his body into a bathrobe. A shower had been the first thing on his agenda after the Headmaster had released him from the follow-up meeting in his office. 

“I imagine someone else took it,” he said, towelling his hair. “There was a message inside. The Headmaster will need to be looking for someone with the initials R.A.B.” 

“R.A.B.? Do you know who that is?” Hermione asked while gnawing on her bottom lip. Severus stopped her by brushing her lip with his thumb, before pulling her against him and kissing her.

When he pulled away from her a while later, she looked at him with glowing eyes and rosy cheeks. “I do have a theory,” he said, entwining their fingers and pulling her towards the bedroom. 

“Will you share it with the others?” she asked, while he led her to the bed and backed her against the mattress. 

“Eventually,” he said before he sealed her mouth with another kiss that made her knees go weak, making her land on his bed, right where he wanted to have her. 

Hermione shook her head with a giggle. “You are an evil man, Severus Snape,” she said, her eyes dancing with mirth. 

“Not evil,” Severus corrected her while shedding his bathrobe and slowly climbing on top of her. “I am just giving them a chance to figure out this little secret all by themselves.” 

Hermione snorted. “Of course you do.”

  
  


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“So Regulus turned his back on You-Know-Who and no one ever knew. I wish Sirius had known,” Lupin said, staring sullenly at the golden locket, which was resting in front of them on Dumbledore’s desk. This time it was the real locket, procured by Lupin and the Headmaster, who had searched Grimauld place for the best part of this Saturday. Severus had refused to accompany them on a search of Black's childhood home. Lupin was more than qualified to deal with doxies, boggarts or cranky house-elves. He gave them enough of his time as it was.

"What difference would that have made for his brother though?" Severus asked challengingly, before shifting his attention to the dark object on the table. He had seen his fair share of Dark Magic, but this one was different in a way that sickened him.

"Regulus will not have died for nothing, however. We will end what he started, together, " Dumbledore announced almost sermonically. Severus let his words wash over him, not commenting or reacting while the cat and the werewolf nodded, eager to do the headmaster's bidding. Therefore he could not have cared less when Dumbledore assigned Minerva to be the one to destroy the Horcrux. They could have all the glory as long as that megalomaniac bastard was dead in the end. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Draco had more than a few problems to adapt to this new normal he was now living in. He had been prepared for the loneliness, he thought, but even his mother’s daily letters could not make life much easier for him. Crabbe and Goyle knew, of course. They must have gotten letters from their fathers, because ever since he awoke with his arm freed from the Dark Mark, they had given him a wide berth while simultaneously sending him death glares at mealtimes. So far they had not attempted anything, but Draco knew it was only a matter of time. 

What worried him more were the two days he did not remember. The last thing he knew was leaving Severus’ rooms after they had gotten rid of the Dark Mark. After that… nothing. But he knew that two days had passed, even though no one but Blaise asked him where he had been, after he awoke in his bed two days later. Draco did not know what happened to him, but as he was unharmed and all his belongings were still in place, he doubted that the Dark Lord had gotten a hold of him. It was way more likely that his blackout had something to do with Severus’ and Granger’s disappearance a few weeks ago, but as he did not find a chance to talk to his godfather, he could not say for sure.

“Oi, Weasley!”

The only constant in his life was the patrols he did twice a week and the company of a certain redhead. 

“Malfoy.” 

It was strange how much their behaviour towards each other had changed over the months, especially after the boy had noticed and acknowledged the fact, that he was mostly alone these days. During lessons shared with the Gryffindors he now mostly kept close to Zabini and Granger and, through them, to Ron. Draco never called the boy by his given name, not aloud, but in his head, he did sometimes. It made him feel like they were friends, even though it probably still was a long and impossible way for that to happen. But Draco did not care. Sometimes those fantasies were all that made him get up in the mornings after he had tossed around in bed all night, haunted by the things he had done before Severus had finally set him free. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	89. And one for all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the Horcrux hunt continues. Enjoy the chapter, my friends! It was again betaed by my friend Justsare. 

Severus had started to appreciate Quietly, his new house-elf, almost immediately and it wasn’t because of the fact that their tempers seemed surprisingly similar to each other. One day he would have to ask Hermione if she had chosen the elf with that in mind, or if she had done so because of the creature’s abilities. Either way, he liked the little fellow, but when his servant presented him a tarnished, silver diadem, he felt like hugging him. In the end, he rewarded Quietly instead, assigning him with the responsible task of sorting his potions ingredients, discarding the ones that had expired. Never before had he handed over this task to somebody else, and he never thought he would, but Quietly seemed awed by the honour of being trusted and rewarded so soon after being bound to a family and Severus could not come to regret his decision. 

He would probably never forget Albus’ and Minerva’s stunned faces, when he presented them with the Horcrux. 

“A house-elf brought this to you?” the Headmaster asked, his bushy eyebrows raised until they almost reached his retreating hairline. “How very curious.”

“Curious indeed,” Minerva agreed, righting her glasses with her fingertips. “But I must say, sending the elves out to search the castle was a very clever move, Severus. We should have thought of that ourselves.” 

“Indeed,” Severus said, barely able to hide his smirk. In the end, the honour of destroying the blasted thing fell to him, probably because Albus thought destroying a part of Lord Voldemort’s soul was pacifying him. Indeed he felt a wave of satisfaction when he poured out the phial with Basilisk venom over the diadem, a piercing shriek penetrating their ears only seconds later. 

“That was that,” Severus said nonchalantly, staring at the molten diadem in the container. 

“That was that,” Minerva repeated, the corner of her mouth twitching with suppressed humour. And Severus could not help himself, he grinned back. Maybe, he thought, things would indeed turn out all right in the end. 

  
  


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After that, weeks passed without them finding another hint to a Horcrux. Spring came and for the first time, Severus found himself enjoying the change of seasons, enjoying the light and the mild temperatures spring brought them. More than once he found himself dragging Hermione outside, away from her books, because strangely she seemed to be the one most affected by their absence of progress. 

“I do not think we will find the answer in a book, Hermione,” he said more than once, linking their fingers together before pulling her towards the lake, or the forest. “There are no books about Lord Voldemort, or at least none that hold useful information. He has made sure of that.”

Hermione nodded, and while he gently pulled her outside towards the Whomping Willow, she stayed silent, brooding over his words. Only when they left the tree behind, walking towards the edge of the Forbidden Forest she sighed, saying: “The only reliable source of knowledge we have about them is you and Professor Dumbledore, to a point. I mean, we figured out the location of the other… items, we must find a way to locate this one. It must be Helga Hufflepuff’s cup, right?”

Severus nodded. “We know he has had it at some point. Considering his behaviour so far it is very likely.”

“So where could one store a presumably golden cup? No, where would  _ he _ store it?” Hermione asked, looking at him as if he knew the answer. 

It was the question he had asked himself about a hundred times now and that he, Minerva and the others had gone over countless times. “All the hiding spots were in some way linked to him,” he said, leading her along the edge of the forest. One day they should go in together, as he could not wait to lay down with her on the moss and listen to the nature around them. Maybe they could even spend the night. Severus sighed. He needed to get a grip. Those dreams had to wait until he was no longer pursued by the Death Eaters, because he could lifely imagine them waiting behind the wards, doing patrols in the hope to capture him, or any other person of interest. “The locket and the ring were linked to places of his childhood, as was Ravenclaw's diadem. The diary he left with Lucius…” Severus said, repeating the information she already knew. Still, maybe it helped them to hear it once again, dissecting it bit by bit until they found something. 

“Are there any other places he could have felt connected to as a child? Or any place he… admired maybe?” Hermione asked, her forehead in wrinkles. “He is a half-blood, like you, but growing up in an orphanage meant he was more raised like a muggle.” 

Severus contemplated this. “There is the house of his father, a manor. He never used it for a meeting though, probably because he hated that man with a passion. I cannot imagine that he has hidden something there. Should we get desperate, we could still check out the place, but I wouldn’t risk our plan getting discovered when there are still other options open to us.”

“All right. Does he own any other houses? I mean, where does this man even live?” Hermione continued, her thumb drawing circles onto the back of his hand. 

Severus shrugged. “I do not know of any. Right now he lives with the Malfoys; well, technically he lives in their house. Would he do so if other options were open to him?” 

Hermione huffed. “Good point. So what if he also left another Horcrux with his followers? He has given one to Mr Malfoy, right? Whom else could he have trusted enough to hand over one of his soul pieces to?”

He snorted. “Me, but I have never received anything. And then there is Bella, I guess. If there is someone who is unquestionably loyal to him, it is her. She is mad as a hatter but unwavering in her adoration and devotion.” 

His mate pulled a face. “I have seen her in the Ministry…” she murmured, never voicing the rest of that thought. Instead, she said: “Let us assume he gave the cup to her. Do the Lestranges have a house? Or… I don’t know… where else could she have hidden it?” She did not give him time to answer, as shortly after she continued. “She was in Azkaban for years… Her possessions were probably raided by the Aurors, as she and her husband have been convicted for their crimes.”

Severus agreed: “They have a house and even though the Ministry never disowned them, every dark artefact or other questionable belonging has been taken. If there would have been a Horcrux amongst those possessions, the Aurors would have recognized it for what it is - and destroyed it. No, if she still has it, it must be in the family vault at Gringotts. The Goblins are neutral and therefore the Ministry would not have had the chance to search the vault.” 

At that, Hermione gasped. “Of course, Gringotts,” she exclaimed, with a small bounce of excitement. “I don’t know how it was for you, but when I first stepped into that place, I was totally in awe.”

“So was I,” Severus agreed contemplatively. “The Snapes never had a big vault, as my parents were simply too poor to have one. But the Lestranges are an old and wealthy family. Their vault must be among the best-protected vaults the goblins have to offer.”

His witch nodded. “Maybe that is why Voldemort never asked you. He trusted you, yes, but if he wanted his soul piece protected in one of the safest places the goblins had to offer, Bellatrix Lestrange was the more logical choice. Her madness wouldn’t even matter, as the goblins and their magic would do all the work, unknowing or maybe even uncaring of what they actually guard.”

Severus hated to admit it, but Hermione was right. Seven hells, if the goblins were protecting the Horcrux then they were fucked. Breaking into that blasted bank was impossible, he only knew of a single case of someone having managed it. And said person never got outside - alive. “I will introduce this new theory to the Headmaster,” he promised, gently squeezing her hand. “Now let us talk about something else. I want to enjoy the afternoon and your company, at least for an hour. Reality will catch up with us soon enough.” 

Hermione smiled, her eyes focussing at him full of adoration and love. “Of course. Sorry. I just feel like this problem is almost constantly on my mind…”

“No need to apologize,” he assured her, pulling her close. “I understand. But for the next hour, I want your attention all to myself.” He underlined his words by kissing her, his tongue tracing her lips until she opened up her mouth to him. For a short moment she hesitated, but then she let him in, her tongue greeting him enthusiastically. 

“I am all yours,” she assured him, her hands sinking into his hair. His heart leapt with happiness, registering that it was the first time she had kissed him in public. She did not seem to mind and neither did he.

  
  


Sssssssss

  
  


“That is indeed an interesting theory,” the Headmaster said hours later, stroking that long beard of his. “I considered the place myself already, but so far I was unable to decide if it would be worth a shot.”

“It is only a theory, Headmaster,” Severus threw in. “Though admittedly the best theory we have so far.”

The Headmaster nodded, his eyes gleaming, while Minerva and Lupin looked hesitant. “But breaking into Gringotts?” the werewolf said. “It cannot be done. Attempting to do so would be suicide. Everyone knows how viciously those Goblins protect those treasures...”

“One might also provoke the next Goblin War,” Severus added with a grimace. “Besides, if we fail, the Death Eaters will know without doubt what we are after.”

Remus nodded in agreement. “Absolutely. We should really think this through before attempting something. Is there no way to find out if this is really worth a shot?”

Minerva frowned, looking at Albus. “We do have a vague estimation as to when Tom Riddle came into possession of the cup, right? What if we contacted Bill Weasley, asking him to find out if Bellatrix Lestrange stored something in her vault around that time? It might not be possible to find out what she stored, but I am pretty sure Gringotts keeps track of all the visitors.”

Severus nodded. That was actually a good plan. “Weasley wouldn’t even need to know what all of this is about. We could simply ask him to check if she had been to her vault in that period of time.”

Albus nodded. “I will contact the boy,” he said, calling for his phoenix. The graceful bird made a soft noise and landed on his shoulder seconds after. 

“What if she does have it in there?” Severus found himself asking, his stomach dropping at the thought of breaking into one of the best protected places in Wizarding Britain. He could not risk getting killed during such a reckless mission, not when there would be Hermione, mourning him and being without protection. 

“Then Albus and I will retrieve that Horcrux,” Minerva said, staring at him proudly. Severus stared at her and he was sure the disbelief he felt was mirrored on his face. 

“You’d accompany him,” he said, his voice laced with disbelief. “You, Minerva McGonagall, would break into Gringotts?”

The woman smiled. “I would. I am not the Head of Gryffindor House for nothing, Severus.”

Severus shook his head. Bloody, reckless Gryffindors!

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


It had been a long time since Minerva McGonagall had truly felt young, but when she landed in Albus’ vault, carried by his phoenix, she felt like she was thirty again. Albus was right next to her, his purple robes shimmering even in the darkness of the room. Hell, that man really could not be without a little extravagance, could he?

“So far, so good,” she whispered, lighting her wand to look around. For a moment she could not help but stare at her friend's possessions, and she could not help but ask herself once more, why this man was Headmaster of a school and not comfortably retired, or Minister of Magic. 

“The Lestranges’ vault should be close by,” Albus murmured, opening the door to his vault with the small golden key he had brought with him. Getting into the bank had been easy enough; breaking into that other vault on the other hand…

This could be their last shared adventure, Minerva mused as she carefully followed him out into the large cave, which was covered in darkness. Breaking in during the night was supposed to buy them time and would hopefully make them face fewer guards, in case they would be discovered. Because Minerva McGonagall would not go silently and she would not be killed by a bloody goblin - if it could be helped. 

‘Forget the goblins,’ she thought only moments later, when she looked into the blind eyes of a once majestic dragon. In theory she had known they would meet the beast there, and Albus had come prepared, by bringing a pair of clankers, to keep the beast in check. He did not seem fazed at all, having gone through the procedure of scaring the once mighty creature to get into his family vault. But Minerva had never passed the dragon before, as her own vault was further up, as she was not willing to pay for one of the high-security vaults. And so she could not help the pang of pity she felt, when she saw the huge beast back away and hide in the furthest corner, fearing the pain that had been ingrained to it by torture.

She gritted her teeth. 

“Here we are,” Albus stated when they were in front of a huge door. It was protected by several magical locks and Minerva realized that it could take hours to get past them - hours they did not have. 

“Now what?” she murmured, while continuing to rattle the metal instrument Albus had given to her. 

“Now you keep holding off the dragon, while I take care of that door. You know how I love a good puzzle and I’ve been looking forward to this special challenge for ages,” her friend said, pulling a small, magical instrument from his robes. She had seen him tinkering on it in his office from time to time, but she had never known what it was. Now, she suddenly had an idea. Fascinated, she watched Albus casting a silent spell that activated it, so that its wheels started spinning, rotating on the man’s outstretched hand. Without hesitation he held it next to the first lock, his other hand gripping his wand and pointing towards the door. 

“This might take me about ten minutes,” he announced, his blue eyes glinting in anticipation. 

“Ten minutes?” she asked in disbelief. Was it possible that he could get them past the door that fast?

Albus chuckled. “Well, my dear. We are all getting older, even me. Now keep an eye out for that dragon.”

Minerva nodded. Ten minutes, she could do that. With trembling hands she kept shaking the metallic devices, making loud ringing noises that echoed through the dark cave. She shuddered. Time had never gone by so slowly. Then the first lock started to open, making a long, creaking sound as it opened and the beast turned, his long tail whipping around, grazing her arms and taking the clankers with it. She saw them disappear into the darkness, landing somewhere to her right with a loud rattling. Godric's hairy buttocks! 

Suddenly the cave fell uncomfortably silent, the only sound being the damned locks that had caused the problem in the first place. Were they always that loud? Probably not, she thought just as the beast whipped around, probably listening for the sound of somebody breaking into a high security vault. She cursed inwardly, suddenly able to vividly imagine being in Potter’s place during the Triwizard Tournament. That was when she straightened, raising her wand at the beast. Immediately she started casting, as time was of the essence, and she had next to none until the beast would breathe fire and roast them as his midnight snack. And Minerva did not fancy being killed by a dragon either.

Luckily she wasn’t a master of transfiguration for nothing and even though she had never transfigured a dragon before (those beasts were highly resistant to magic after all) the fact that failure would mean getting themselves killed gave her the necessary momentum to try. And so she did, layering spell over spell before shooting it towards the dragon with a straightened back, slowly morphing it into a medium sized lizard that stared at her in sudden confusion. 

_ ‘That was that, _ ’ Minerva thought, a wave of pride washing over her as she saw the animal scurry away from her, looking into her direction with blind, scared eyes. Suddenly all she felt was pity, her heart going out to the mistreated creature that had nothing else to expect than a life in darkness. Somehow its scars reminded her of Severus, who had also wandered through the darkness, but eventually had re-emerged into the light. She wished she could help this dragon to do the same, to simply fly away as his suddenly too big shackles could no longer hold him. Maybe he would, once the transfiguration had worn off, Minerva thought just as she heard another creaking sound behind her made her concentration shift towards the door, realizing that it was already halfway open. They were really doing this, she realized, and for the first time she thought that they might actually get away with this. 

Four minutes later the door was open and Minerva entered the Lestrange vault behind Albus, eyeing the stacks of gold and the other riches with critical eyes. Was the cup really here? 

“There it is,” Albus announced as she had just finished her thought and she saw him pointing upwards, into the back of the vault. There it was, sitting on a high shelf, out of their reach. She saw him step forward, but when his long robe brushed against one of the gallons on the floor, she was distracted by the clinking of gold, realizing that the galleons started to multiply right in front of her eyes.

“Don’t move,” she hissed. “There’s a Geminio Curse on the treasures.”

Albus froze immediately, his head turning towards her so that their eyes met. “Then I am even more thankful you decided to join me, my dear.”

Minerva nodded. “Hand me a handkerchief, if you please.” Before her friend could react she transformed into her Animagus form, her body shrinking while her eyesight and her reflexes improved. Finally, she elegantly strolled past Albus, her transformed body brushing his robes only to halt in front of him, taking the colourful handkerchief he offered to her with her mouth. Then she moved forward, carefully avoiding touching anything. A graceful jump and a few practised climbing moves later she had reached the cup and she was careful to lift it with the tissue in her mouth, carrying it towards Albus with her tail raised proudly. 

“We always were a good team,” Albus said, when they stepped out of the vault a few minutes later, the destroyed Horcrux stored in the Headmaster’s robes. Minerva had taken his embroidered handkerchief, deciding to keep it as a reminder of their shared adventure. 

“That is true,” Minerva replied, nostalgia suddenly taking hold of her. Their past adventures had happened such a long time ago, reminding her that this might be the last time they experienced the rush of adrenaline as a duo. “Now let us get out of here,” she exclaimed, feeling the relief already take hold of her. With a growing smile she watched Albus calling for his familiar, who was waiting for them in front of the transfigured dragon. Merlin knew what those two had done together. But maybe such magical creatures as phoenixes and dragons had their very own ways of communication.

“Working with you is always a pleasure, my dear,” Albus said, gripping one of Fawkes’ feet, Minerva mirroring his movement a moment later. And as they disappeared in the phoenix’ flames she could not help but feel like Bonnie accompanying Clyde. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	90. Dissonance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The brilliant Justsare betaed again for me. Yay!

_ Vicious Dragon breaks free from Gringotts, three Goblins killed _

By Rita Skeeter

_ Yesterday afternoon a most disturbing and unbelievable event shook the Halls of Gringotts, and half of Diagon Alley. In a thick cloud of smoke and fire, a fearsome rampaging Dragon broke through the roof of the ancient bank, and took flight, disappearing into the sky while leaving chaos, devastation and death behind in its wake. Three goblins were killed by the enormous beast, while Loreena McKinnon, who had just wanted to make a quick transaction, was seriously wounded as the dragon broke through the floor of the entry hall. Luckily there were no other casualties, which is close to a miracle, as most of the prestigious bank is in shambles, the goblins agitatedly investigating how the creature could break free in the first place.  _ _   
  
_

_ “It has been safely held in the vaults for decades,” Grappuk, the leader of the security team assures. “The beast was partly blind and bound by heavy, indestructible chains. We have no idea how he could break free,” he snarled as he carelessly pushed our intrepid reporter out onto the rubble in the street. _

_ Well, my most treasured readers. This adventurous and to you most devoted reporter assures you, that the dragon now running wild in our island is most definitely not blind, as several witnesses reported two yellow, fully intact eyes as they watched the beast fly over the alley before it disappeared into the sky. Now I ask you, my dear readers: Can those goblins be believed? Are they probably trying to cover up their own mistakes, or even their attempts to harm us, unsuspecting wizards and witches? Could there be more dragons kept in the depths below our feet? At least Grappuk repeatedly assured this clever and most determined reporter, that none of the vaults shows signs of a break-in, so at least our treasures seem to be safe for now, if they are to be believed. Considering the fact that the bank will be closed for reconstruction during the next month though, the idea of transferring my money to a more secure and available institution seems more and more tempting.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Who knows, after all, if what they are saying is what actually happened. Perhaps there is a mass break in the mysterious depths of the bank and the month of "repairs" is being used to give them time to cover it up. There may be nothing to this other than a tragic accident or there may be something sinister beneath our very feet.  _

  
  


Severus stared at the newspaper article in disbelief. Oh, this was just so typical. How did those two morons think that freeing a bloody dragon would be a good idea? And how did they even manage to restore the beast’s eyesight? 

He did not feel sorry for the goblins, as they had dug that hole themselves by capturing that beast in the first place. He also did not care for the unfortunate McKinnon girl, but he could only imagine the Dark Lord’s reaction to the news of a disturbance in Gringotts. It did not matter that the goblins stated there had been no break-in, as soon as the bank was open he would check on his Horcrux, which meant they had about a month before the shit hit the fan. 

Severus could feel his heartbeat speed up at the thought of the Dark Lord finding out that one or several of his Horcruxes were gone. Only too clearly Severus could see the maniac’s reaction to the realization that one of his soul-pieces was gone. He would rage and as soon as the anger was gone, he would check on the others. What would happen if he found out about the locket, the ring, the diary? Would he march against Hogwarts? Or would he let chaos and destruction rain over the wizarding world, venting his anger by killing unsuspecting wizards and witches or maybe even muggles?

One thing was clear: they needed to prepare themselves for the worst, which meant that they needed to destroy as many Horcruxes as possible before their time ran out. And there was another Horcrux sitting right in front of their noses. Only this time the Horcrux had a face and a name, which made the whole endeavour an entirely different matter. Merlin, they needed to discuss their options, and Severus could only imagine how well the idea of Harry being a Horcrux would go over with Minerva, Lupin, and Hermione. It was a complete nightmare.

  
  


Sssssssss

  
  


“Harry is a Horcrux.”

Hermione’s insides had turned to ice, her thoughts coming to an abrupt halt to focus on the terrible news she had just been given. The others did not fare much better, because as soon as Professor Dumbledore had finished his explanation, the room had fallen completely silent. 

It all made terrible sense, in a way. Harry had always had those unexplainable dreams, his scar hurting shortly after or when Voldemort was close. The answer had been right in front of her eyes for several months now, only it was so horrible that she had not even taken it into consideration.

“We cannot just kill him,” she finally voiced the thought that kept repeating itself in her head over and over. “Harry is a human being, he has not done anything wrong! He… he is my friend!”

They did not object to her words, each of them mutely staring into the room, lost for words. It was Severus who broke the silence first.

“If the Horcrux is not destroyed, Lord Voldemort cannot die,” he said, his face grave. “I do not like this idea any more than you do, Hermione. I imagine no one here does, but as I told you: sometimes life only offers you equally shitty options.”

The pit in her stomach grew. Was this how Severus had felt while still being a Death Eater? How often had he already made comparable decisions, weighing one life against another? Once? Twice? But considering he had served that maniac for almost two decades the number was probably so much higher. Suddenly Hermione felt sick. 

“There must be another way,” Professor McGonagall said, her face white with shock. “Albus please, we cannot simply kill an innocent teenager. He still has his whole life ahead of him.”

Professor Dumbledore sighed at her words, his hand tiredly rubbing his forehead. “We all know that peace always has a price,” he said, looking at Hermione. “And with that, I do not necessarily mean killing Mr Potter. Harry survived the killing curse twice already, did he not?”

Hermione stilled, her thoughts coming to an abrupt halt. Of course, there was a way to save Harry, they had already done so before. But before she could say anything on that matter, Severus answered the Headmaster, his voice full of steel. “Absolutely not. I know what you are planning, old man, and I will not allow it.”

She could not help but look at him with wide eyes, full of disbelief that he would so outrightly refuse to help his friend. 

“What  _ is _ he planning?” Remus asked, his brows knitted together in confusion. “If there is a way to save Harry, we should all know about it, should we not? Or what is all of this about?”

Severus sighed and threw the Headmaster a dirty look before he explained: “I believe the Headmaster hopes that Hermione and I can save Mr Potter from the Killing Curse, or cleanse his body from the Horcrux by transferring it to one of us. He seems to have spoken under the misconception that I would risk mine or Hermione’s life for Lily’s son, which I will not.”

It was as if he had just dumped a bucket of cold water above her head, her heart stuttering for a moment before it started beating in anger. “What if I want to risk my life, Severus? Harry is my friend and I cannot just abandon him when there is a chance that I could save him.”

“Could you?” Lupin asked, his voice full of disbelief. “How?”

And so Hermione explained it to him. She knew it was not the right moment for keeping secrets as the five of them already shared so much knowledge that trust was indispensable already. And so it only felt natural to share their secret with Professor Lupin as well, especially as everybody else in the room was already aware of it. 

When she finished her explanation of the bond she and Severus shared and her explanation of what they had already done with it, Professor Lupin’s face was wondrous, while Professor McGonagall’s eyes shone with obvious pride. Only Severus’ expression was grim and he stared at her with his arms crossed in front of his chest. 

“But would it work?” Professor Lupin asked, looking back and forth between her, Severus, and Professor Dumbledore. All she could do was shrug. 

Severus, on the other hand, scowled, asking: “Are you quite finished now? I told you it is not an option. Cleaning a Dark Mark is one thing but banishing a Horcrux? That is part of a soul we are talking about,  _ his _ soul for Salazar’s sake. He will not go quietly, and even if we managed to destroy it, it still could cost one of us their sanity. Because suddenly you have him  _ in your head _ and Merlin knows what he can do in there.”

None of them answered. Instead Professor Dumbledore said: “What else do you suggest we do then, Severus? Kill the boy? I imagine poisoning him would be the most painless way to do so.”

He did not mean this, Hermione thought, noting the challenging tone of his voice. Still, Professor McGonagall immediately protested: “This is murder you are talking about, Albus! No, I am not having this!”

Professor Lupin and Hermione nodded, causing the Headmaster to sigh. “What else do you suggest then? If the Horcrux lives, so does Tom. Do you want to capture him? If so, how? And where do you want to keep him, hidden from his loyal followers? Because I can tell you, they will keep searching for him, for centuries if need be.”

All in all, every available option was a shitty one, with this Severus was right. But there had to be a way and trying to cleanse the Horcrux with White Magic sounded like the best option to her. 

“There needs to be another option,” Professor McGonagall interrupted her train of thoughts. “A fourth option so to speak. Can we not transfer the Horcrux to another vessel, another piece of jewellery or a small animal maybe? We do have a month, do we not? And between the five of us, we surely can come up with something.”

“As far as I am aware, Adunare needs to be cast by the other participating party. Also, the caster needs to be in full acceptance of the consequences, focussing on the curse or illness they want to transfer. It would not work for a non-living or non-magical being,” Severus explained matter-of-factly. “But by all means, try to find another spell. I am not saying it is not possible, only that there is  _ next to no time _ .” 

“Well, then we better hurry up, don’t you think?” Minerva asked, her chin raised proudly. “Because I am not letting any of my cubs be sacrificed to get rid of that monster, just so you know.”

With that she stormed out of the office, her tartan robes billowing behind her like a cape. 

“I daresay she is right,” Professor Lupin said, tiredly rubbing his face. “We should also speak to Harry. He deserves to know, don’t you think?”

Hermione and Professor Dumbledore nodded, while Severus remained completely still, his face expressionless. It was fairly obvious that her mate was not happy with the situation and their current options, but honestly, neither was she. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“What do you think you’re doing?” Severus’ voice rang through the room, as soon as the door to his chambers had closed behind them. Her mate had not spoken a single word on their way down to the dungeons, but now with them finally having some privacy, it was like all his restraint was suddenly gone. 

“What  _ I _ am doing?” Hermione asked, anger slowly bubbling to the surface. “What are you doing, Severus? You know full well that cleansing the Horcrux with White Magic is our only option. Letting Voldemort get away or killing Harry is not an option!” she shot back, her face reddening with unbottled emotion. 

“But sacrificing your life and sanity is? Because I will not take on that Horcrux, I cannot! I am  _ done _ with that bastard and he will touch me never again!” 

Severus angrily paced the floor of the living room, the air around him crinkling with wild magic. Hermione had never seen him like this and she did not mean the fact that he was furious. 

“But I would,” she answered stubbornly. “I need to try to save him, Severus. He is my friend. You took the Dark Mark from Draco and I supported you, even though I was mad with fear for you.” 

Her words made Severus freeze. “That was different,” he said. “I knew I could get rid of the mark. I have done so before.”

“And still you almost died. Pretty sacrificed herself so we could live and I never said a word, never questioned your decision to help your godson,” Hermione answered, tears of sorrow and anger springing into her eyes. 

Finally, Severus’ eyes focussed on her and Hermione could see the sadness reflecting in them. “I know,” he said, slowly walking towards her. When there was only an arm’s length between them he stopped, his dark eyes seeking out hers. “And I have regretted that decision knowing that it could have cost one of our lives. I cannot help but be an egotistical bastard here, Hermione. We just found each other and I cannot accept that a few months of happiness is all we get before fate claims one of us again. Please.”

He reached for her, cupping her face and holding her like she was made out of glass. “I cannot lose you, Hermione. I cannot.”

She closed her eyes, her heart growing heavier with every second that passed. “Then let us hope Professor McGonagall and the others find another way, because I cannot watch Harry being sacrificed for the greater good.”

With that she stepped back from him, her eyes opening and staring at him in determination. She could not stay here, not when she felt like this. And she knew that neither she nor Severus would change their point of view today, if ever. 

“I will be sleeping in my room tonight,” she announced, her voice heavy with feelings. 

“I see,” Severus replied, distant. Somehow part of her hoped he would hold her back, beg her to stay or just kiss her but he did neither, standing frozen on the floor and watching her as she walked towards his fireplace, taking some floo powder from the mantle. “Good night, Severus,” she said, her eyes focussing on him once more before she tossed the powder into the flames. 

He did not answer and a moment later she was gone. 

  
  


Sssssssss

  
  


It had been months since Hermione had slept alone, as she always shared her bed with Severus nowadays. Until today their quarters had just been separate in name as she spent most of her time in his presence, or with her other friends. But she was rarely alone and until now she had not realized that she had gotten used to the permanent company and missed it. 

Her room was too silent and her mind too occupied for reading or studying. Trying to sleep would be useless as well, as she knew that sleep would not come for her, until she had at least somewhat calmed down. Therefore she chose to take a walk around the castle, just to give her body a way to release the tension and give her mind some other input. 

But she did not get far.

“Harry.”

Her friend was standing right in the corridor that led to their private quarters and by the look of his sagged posture she could guess that he was far from being in a good place. 

“Are you alright?”

Her friend sighed, green eyes looking at her tiredly. He looked positively defeated and her stomach tightened in sorrow.

“No, no I’m not. Do you… do you want to come to my room? I think I need someone I can talk to…”

So did she. With a nod she followed him into his room, which was almost an exact replica of hers, minus the books that covered almost all of her flat surfaces these days. She wanted to walk over to the lonely armchair in front of the window, but Harry caught her hand and motioned for her to sit down on his bed. After a moment of hesitation she did so, Harry sitting down on the mattress a little to her left.

“Dumbledore and Lupin just talked to me. I just floo’ed back from the Headmaster’s office. I… I am a Horcrux, Hermione.”

Harry looked at her unblinkingly, studying her as he waited for her reaction. He did not have to wait long.

Hermione sighed, her hand slowly reaching for his. “I know,” she said sadly. “He must have talked to you, after he talked to the rest of us. Severus, Professor McGonagall, Professor Lupin, and the Headmaster have been hunting Horcruxes for months. They almost got them all except…”

“Me,” Harry said darkly.

Hermione shook her head. “No. There’s still the snake. Nagini is a Horcrux too, but so far there has been no way to get to her.” Suddenly everything tumbled out of her and she told Harry everything she knew, especially the options they had discussed tonight. Halfway through her explanations she started crying, her words being interrupted by sobs. But Harry listened to her words silently, his face almost expressionless while he took everything in. When she was finished he did not speak for a long time, his green eyes staring unseeingly into the room.   
  


“Snape is right, you know,” he finally said, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder. “You really should not risk your life for me like that. You have already saved me so many times, but this time is different. Maybe this is what I was destined for the whole time. I mean, what if that’s what the prophecy is about?”

“You know my opinion on divination, Harry,” Hermione huffed. “No. I don’t think you need to die. This  _ cannot _ be the only solution.”

“Neither is you risking your life, Hermione. I do not doubt that there might be another way and if someone can find it, then it’s you,” her friend assured her, smiling sadly. 

Hermione smiled weakly. “I’ll do my best. Just… don’t do anything stupid, alright?”

Harry snorted. “Like what? Trying to get myself killed?”

Hermione shrugged: “With you one can never know.”

  
  
  
  
  
  



	91. The sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Here is another little chapter for you. Thank you for your ongoing support and for sticking with this story. And thank you to my brilliant beta Justsare, who not only finds my mistakes but also helps me to improve my English. 

Minerva did not sleep that night, nor the one that followed after. She was tired, yes, but Pepper Up Potions gave her enough drive to go on, as she was restlessly looking for a way to save her students and Severus, who was almost like a son to her. She would never tell him of course, as he would immediately pull away from her, ridiculing her sentiments. But it was true, never being blessed with children of her own, he had been the student she felt connected to and it wasn’t just because the man did not have a pleasant childhood or youth. Severus had just found his happiness after having sacrificed so much already. They could not ask him to give this up as well, especially as she could see how this problem drove a wedge between him and Miss Granger. It was obvious that both of them suffered, both too stubborn to take a step back and change their point of view. Still, they were suffering, as the dark circles under their eyes and Miss Granger’s slumped posture unmistakably told her.

No, there had to be another way and it took her two sleepless nights to come up with an alternative and one night of sleep to confirm that this was really a good idea. Well, it was not a good idea  _ per se _ , but it was much better than the alternatives, which made it good enough for her. 

“Ah, Minerva! What can I do for you, my dear?”

Albus sounded much better these days as he seemed back to his old cheerful self, now that his body was cleansed from the poison that had been affecting him. 

She purposefully strode to his desk and sat down on the chair she had occupied so many times before. Would it be the last time she sat here?   
  


“I will absorb the Horcrux from Mr Potter,” she said, calmly. “It is not the children’s task to win this war, but ours. And I am prepared to do what is needed to ensure that we succeed.”

Albus looked at her silently, his hands folded beneath his chin. His silence was almost harder for her to take than if he had shouted at her, or declined to help her. Because she would need his help after she had made herself a container for Lord Voldemort’s soul piece. 

“I appreciate your dedication,” he finally said, his eyes twinkling. “Do you know that Remus made the same offer just two hours ago? He was most determined to sacrifice himself for James’ son, you see.”

Minerva gasped. “Albus, you cannot! What did you tell him?” she asked, fearing the worst. 

Her oldest friend smiled. “I told him the same thing I will tell you. Your sacrifice is not necessary, Minerva, even though it is highly appreciated.”

“Not necessary?” she asked, her voice laced with disbelief. 

“Exactly. I plan to absorb the Horcrux myself. It does make the most sense, really. Apart from Severus, there is no one as skilled with Occlumency as me. I can keep Tom’s soul piece in check until it has been taken care of.”

He made it sound so logical, when in fact it was anything but. “We cannot lose you, Albus. You are the only one who can take the bastard down. Who else would be there to oppose him?” 

“I think with you and Remus, the Order will be in capable hands. Also, Filius is a very capable duellist,” he replied, his voice light. Minerva wanted to scold him, tell him that he needed to take matters more seriously, when he continued, his eyes twinkling: “Apart from that, I do not plan to die, my dear. You see, I do have something that makes me quite hopeful of actually surviving a killing curse.”

“How?” she found herself asking.

Then Albus told her about the Deathly Hallows, told her he was in possession of two of them, while Mr Potter held the third one. She had heard the story, of course, had loved it back when she was a little girl. Only it was just that, a made-up story written to scare little children, or to teach them a questionable lesson. Albus seemed to believe otherwise. 

“Albus please, you cannot bet your life on a fairy tale! You are too important for this war. We cannot lose you,” Minerva tried again, her voice sounding as desperate as she felt. 

“As are you, my dear. You give yourself too little credit and I have no doubt that you are the right one to follow in my footsteps,” her friend assured her, a twinkle in his eyes. “In another life we would have made a great duo.”

Minerva sent him a teary-eyed huff. “Don’t talk like that, Albus. We are a great duo,” she disagreed. “It cannot end like that.”

“And if I am right, it will not,” he assured her, his hand reaching out for hers. He rarely initiated any physical contact, and Minerva had gotten used to his hesitation over the years, which made this gesture even more precious.

“So you do not want my help, Albus?” she asked, her voice suddenly thick with emotion. 

Albus smiled. “Ah, I wouldn’t say that, my dear. You are the only one I trust with my demise, Minerva.”

Her eyes widened. “You want me to kill you?”

The Headmaster nodded. “I want you to cast the Killing Curse on me, to be specific. We do not aim to kill me, after all, but the Horcrux. And I am not very prone to be attacked with Fiendfire or to ingest Basilisk Venom. A while ago I would have asked Severus to do it, but he no longer fully trusts me, and casting an Unforgivable would destroy the bond between him and Miss Granger. No, you must be the one doing it.”

“I’d rather be the one dying, Albus,” she said, and she meant it. Doing as he asked her to would rip her soul apart,  maybe not literally but it would go against everything she stood for. She had sworn to herself to never use an Unforgivable, especially not that one and even less on a friend. I f she succeeded and their plan failed, she would have the knowledge that she had been the one murdering her best friend. 

“I know,” the Headmaster replied, gently pressing her hand. “Which makes your sacrifice all the more precious. Will you do it?” 

Minerva did not answer right away. Everything in her screamed to deny him. But that would mean to pass off that fate to somebody else, someone younger, and as Severus and Remus were the only other wizards aware of Horcruxes that were of age…

“I will do it,” she said, straightening her spine. “But if you die, Albus, I will never forgive you.”

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus was at his wit’s end. Hermione had not spoken to him ever since she had left his chambers a few days ago and even though their bond was starting to act up, making him want to run towards her and just pull her into his arms, he had not done so and neither had she. But he could not give in, not when her life and sanity were at stake, because he had sworn to protect her, even from herself. This meant he could not compromise, no matter how much his heart and his magic urged him to reconcile with her. 

Still, something needed to happen. They could not go on like this. 

On the third day of her absence, he found himself in front of her door, his heart nervously beating in his chest as he knocked against the dark wood. For a moment the room behind was silent but then the door opened, revealing Hermione in her school uniform. Her breath hitched when she saw him, but her eyes sought him out nonetheless.

“Severus.”

She did not say anything else, just stood there staring at him, like she was waiting for him to make a move. But he, too, was lost for words.

“I did not change my mind,” he finally said, his eyes boring into her like they alone could make her cave in.

“Neither did I,” she said unblinkingly. 

Again there was silence, their breath sounding unnaturally loud in the empty corridor, while they held each other’s gaze. Severus could not have said who moved first, as after a few painful seconds their bodies clashed together, their mouths meeting for a bruising kiss. Before he knew it he had pushed her through the door, kicking it closed behind him as he pushed her into the room. Hermione stumbled back, even though he could feel her resisting him, her eyes burning with fire as her mouth painfully kissed him, her tongue fighting for dominance. As her teeth bit his lip he tasted blood; he could not help the growl coming from his mouth. 

Never before had he used his advantage in strength against her, but suddenly he found himself gripping her wrists and pushing her back onto the bed, without breaking the kiss. This was about more than just satisfying their bond, he realized, this was also her showing her frustration and trying to vent it. He understood as this was what he needed too, his blood raging with not only lust but also anger. And kissing her was not enough to overcome either of those feelings. 

With another growl he pinned her below him, his hands holding her wrists while he ripped his mouth away from hers, only to seek out her neck, sucking and biting her skin with the urge to claim her. Tomorrow she would know that she was his, no matter what she made herself believe, or others. She hissed, her arms struggling against him. He did not let her go and instead gracefully climbed on top of her, his eyes focussing her before he latched onto her mouth again. This time she did not bite him, her mouth kissing him with a desperation that made his chest grow tight, his heart beating faster as his need for air grew. Finally, he broke the kiss, panting for air, and it was in this moment of being distracted that Hermione pulled loose, ripping her hands away and gripping her wand instead. He did not expect her to use magic but within the blink of an eye his clothes were gone and she clawed at his chest, leaving red streaks across his pale skin. He did not mind, not at all, as his body was singing under his witch’s touch. Soon her head leapt forwards, her lips capturing his nipple and Severus could feel his arms buckle and finally give out, as the feeling became too much. He saw her smirk and a moment later she rolled him around, climbing on top of him before focussing on his chest again. Suddenly his urge to dominate her vanished, substituted by the need to feel her and to give her a way to have her way, even if it was only here in this bed. 

With a thundering heart, he enjoyed her kisses, his back arching as she bit and sucked his skin and rolled his nipples with her tongue. And oh, it felt good. It was just the start. Soon, she moved downwards, her hands gripping his hips and holding him down, while her rosy lips found his cock, closing around him with a grim smile. He knew what this was, knew that she was trying to show her dominance here and he allowed himself to just let go, barely struggling as she kept sucking him until his tip was leaking and his balls tightened. 

“Oh, Hermione, gods…” the words tumbled from his lips without him being able to stop them. Not that he wanted to, Merlin no. He kept encouraging her, his hands reaching for her hair, tugging the brown strands. But she just kept going, even more determined to push him over the edge. It did not take long until she gave him his release, his body shuddering as he spilt his seed inside her mouth with a loud moan of her name. Only then she relaxed and let go of him, wiping her mouth as she stepped back, looking at him with dark eyes. His hand reached for her, his eyes pleading to join him on the bed but Hermione did not move. Instead, she stood silently, her eyes soaking him in as he lay in front of her, exposed and panting. It took him a moment to collect himself, only then he could pull himself up and walk over to her, pulling her into a heated kiss. At first, she was hesitant, but then she slowly relaxed against him as he coaxed her mouth to open up for him. She tasted salty and bitter, his taste on her making his heart contract before it sped up again. Gods, he loved this witch, and he was determined to show her just how much. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“This does not change anything,” Hermione said, after she had come down from her orgasm, her body naked and sprawled out on the bed. For the first time in three days she felt somewhat calm and it wasn’t only because her body’s urges had been met. She had missed Severus, not just the sex but also spending the evenings with him, but considering the fact that they still had opposing opinions considering Harry’s Horcrux, it was not likely that they would just fall back into their old normality. “I am not going to change my mind.”

“Neither am I,” Severus said, casting her a sad smile. “Does that mean we have to avoid each other though? Why can we not look for an alternative together instead of…” he waved through the air.

Hermione sighed. He was right, of course. “I guess there will always be situations in our future, where we have different opinions. But we shouldn’t let that drive us apart.”

“No,” Severus said, his thumb caressing her cheekbone. “I hate fighting with you, Hermione. It rips me apart.”

“Me too,” she replied, because she felt the same. The last few days had been hell for her too and it wasn’t just because their bond had been acting up. “Let’s not do that again,” she murmured, her hand covering his hand on her face. 

“Does that mean I am allowed to stay?” Severus asked, eyes shining with hope.

“Always,” she said and reached for her blanket to cover them both. How was it that suddenly just his presence could make her feel complete?

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Albus had carefully prepared everything for the eventuality that Minerva indeed managed to kill him. He had written up his will, making sure the Elder Wand would go to her afterwards. It would be rightfully hers no matter how their little endeavour ended, but strangely that did not overly worry him. She would know how to keep the wand’s violent aura in check, there would be no trail of bodies following her wake, and she would be strong enough to wield it. Even though she could not see it, Albus knew that she was not only a formidable and intelligent witch, she was also a fierce dueller. It made her the perfect candidate to follow in his footsteps, if he was wrong and the Deathly Hallows would not give him protection from the Killing Curse.

All that was now left to do was to wait for Minerva’s and Mr Potter’s arrival in his office; and he did not have to wait long.

“Ah, Harry,” he greeted the boy with a pleased smile. “I see you have brought your Invisibility Cloak, like I asked you to. I will only need it for today, Harry. Do not worry.”

“I am not worried about the cloak,” the boy admitted, smiling weakly. “I just wonder what you are planning to use it for. You once told me you have other means of making yourself invisible.”

Albus nodded. “Let us just say I need it to satisfy my scientific curiosity, Harry. But the cloak is not why I asked you to join me in my office tonight.”

He could see Mr Potter’s posture stiffen, his face closing off. “Oh.”

The boy was unsettled, but Albus could not blame him, concerning the news he had been told. “Actually, Professor McGonagall and I plan to solve your little problem tonight. We have found another way to rid you of the Horcrux.”

“Indeed, we have,” Minerva agreed from the door. He had not even heard her step through. 

“There’s another way? I don’t have to die?” Harry asked, his voice suddenly hopeful. 

“No, Mr Potter. We found another solution,” Minerva soothed the boys strained nerves.

“Indeed. I will absorb the Horcrux from your body,” Albus said, motioning towards the chair in front of his desk. 

“You, Sir? But… are you  _ sure _ ? Because honestly, I do not see how sacrificing yourself is a good idea,” the boy spoke up, his green eyes full of worry.

Albus smiled at him soothingly. “Do not worry, Harry. I do not plan on dying. Professor McGonagall and I do have a plan. Now please do sit down and give me your hand, Harry. Do not fear. This is not going to hurt you.”

It was over in minutes, the boy happily trudging out of his office without as much as a hair out of place. Albus had asked himself if he would also take over Mr Potter’s scar, but thankfully the boy’s forehead remained unchanged and so did his. At least his face would not give away what they had done, if things went pear-shaped.

Minerva had watched them from the back of his office, her arms crossed in front of her chest while she did not say much. Her eyes had watched them attentively, but now that Mr Potter was gone, she could no longer hide the stress she was under. He hated that he had to ask this of her, but there really was no one else he could ask for this special kind of help. Minerva was his oldest friend and there was no one he’d rather have on his side when he died.

With a sigh he got up from his seat and walked towards her with slow steps. 

“It is time,” he announced, his face carefully hiding the nervousness he felt. With a fluid motion he placed Harry’s Cloak around his shoulders and took the Resurrection Stone out of the inner pocket of his robes. He had carried it with him every day, hoping that the stone would somehow bring him closer to Arianna. Well, maybe he would see her soon as he joined her wherever his soul was destined to go. “I’d rather not risk Tom noticing that he is suddenly no longer connected to Harry, but to me instead.”

Minerva nodded, her face closing off. “I refuse to tell you goodbye, Albus.” 

“Good. Because it shows that you finally start to have trust in me and my plan,” Albus replied softly.

“I have always trusted you, Albus. I just wish you would not bet your life on a children’s book,” she told him, carefully raising her wand. 

He smiled. “It still makes my chances better than yours, my dear. Do it,” he said, and then he closed his eyes. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	92. Footsteps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the next chapter, my friends. I am so glad you are all still with me. Gods, I will miss you that much is sure.
> 
> Thank you again to my lovely beta, Justsare. You should really check her stories out, in case you have not done so already. 

“Albus.”

He would have known that voice anywhere, even though it was decades since he had last heard it. Still, her soft, almost hesitant tone was what he frequently heard in his dreams, even though they mostly replayed the years of his life he desperately wanted to undo. 

“Arianna.”

When he opened his eyes he saw her, sitting in the middle of a hayfield, surrounded by wildflowers. She looked happy, much happier than he remembered her to be those few years of her life. 

“You have gotten old,” she observed with an inclined head. “Not sure what to think of that beard. It makes you look ancient.”

He chuckled, rubbing his forehead while looking around. “It suits its purpose to make me look wise and grandfatherly. And it gives me something to do when I am bored,” he told her half-seriously, while he slowly walked closer, sinking onto his knees in front of her. “Am I dead then? Because this place pretty much looks like heaven to me.”

“It does? I thought you’d be bored without your trinkets and books,” Arianna said, her eyes focussing him with a strange glint. 

Albus smiled. “I love bees, though. If I’d ever had the chance to retire, I would have kept bees.”

“It is good that you’re not dead then,” his sister said, smiling. 

“I am not? And still you are here, how very curious. You haven’t aged a single day, sister. You look just the way I remember you,” Albus admitted, hesitantly reaching for her hand. It was solid ... and warm. 

“Which I hope is a good thing. Now Albus… sit down next to me for a moment, would you? This cannot be good on your hip,” the girl in front of him said, and motioned to her right. “And I’d rather have you sit comfortably while you figure out why you’re here.” 

Albus smiled. “I guess that is easy to answer, Arianna. I have always wanted to apologize to you. I am truly sorry for not being there when you needed me the most. I am also sorry I could not save you. You must believe me when I tell you I tried.”

“I know you did, Albus. Now stop beating yourself up over something that could not be changed. I’ve had a long time to think, you know, and there really wasn’t much you could have done,” she said while squeezing his hand. Her touch made his heart sing in his tightening chest.

“Does that mean you forgive me?” he asked hoarsely.

“I have forgiven you a long time ago, brother. You punished yourself more thoroughly than our father ever could have. Now go back and finally start living again,” she urged him, her eyes shining with emotion. “Because it hurts watching you mope around like that.”

“You watched me?” Albus asked, surprised. 

His sister chuckled. “From time to time. Did you think I’d just forget about my brothers? You wound me!”

His heart sang, seeing her as happy and carefree as this. He could not remember having ever seen her in such a light mood, as even her early childhood had been difficult. Still, this carefree persona always must have been hidden below her surface and now that Death had ridden her of all that had weighed her down, it finally showed. “Wounding you was never my intention, my Ari,” he whispered, using her pet name on purpose. He could feel something inside him shifting, tugging and he had a very good idea of what that meant. “I am afraid I need to go.”

Arianna nodded, smiling. “I know. Do not worry brother. We will see each other again. Until we do… please do me the favour of getting rid of this ridiculous beard. Not right away, but maybe once you’ve sent that Voldemort fellow to hell.  And for Merlin’s sake, go and talk to Aberforth. It is like the both of you are bull-headed teenagers again. ”

“You sound like you don’t have the slightest doubt that we will be able to do this,” Albus observed, leaving it open which of her requests he was referring to.  Then he felt his body slowly fade away.

Arianna chuckled. “You and Minnie can do almost anything, Albus. She was always my favourite, you know.”

‘ _ Mine, too _ ,’ he thought, but before he could voice the words she was gone; and so was he.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Sweet Merlin, she’d killed him, Minerva thought, dashing towards her friend who was lying face down on the floor, the wand having slipped from his bony fingers. Her stomach had given a sickening lurch when she had cast the bloody curse and she watched the green light-beam hit her friend in the chest. Albus’ body dropped to the floor like a puppet whose strings had been cut, his eyes rolling back while his mouth opened into a surprised “oh”. Then he was down, moving no more - probably never moving again. 

She did not know if she had been staring at his unmoving body for seconds or minutes, before she shook the paralysis that had overcome her. With four quick steps she was at his side, kneeling down beside him before carefully rolling him over to his back. With shaking fingers she felt for his pulse, her head leaning down, aiming to listen for his breath.

“That hurt more than I expected it would,” his voice murmured into the shell of her ear. Minerva pulled back, her heart fluttering with happiness and embarrassment. 

“You’re alive,” she whispered, her fingers shakily reaching for his face. “I cannot believe it.”

“You cannot believe I was right? Really Minerva, you disappoint me,” Albus said, his blue eyes twinkling at her. 

She laughed, but it sort of came out as a sob. With a sniff she pulled her hand back and before she could fall victim to her sentiments she pulled herself up, straightening her robes. “Did it at least work? Is that bloody Horcrux gone?”

At her words Albus’ gaze turned contemplative. For a while he did not speak but finally he nodded, saying: “It is gone, my Dear.”

The wave of relief washing over her was enormous and for a moment she could feel her knees go weak. “Thank Merlin.”

“No, thank  _ you _ , Minerva. Merlin did not have anything to do with this,” Albus stated before he pulled himself up. With a small smile she saw him pick up his wand from the floor and to her surprise he held it towards her, like he wanted her to take it. “Ah, I guess this belongs to you now. As you seem to know the Hallows’ story well enough, you must know that the Elder Wand will no longer work for me. You are its mistress now.”

Minerva stared at her friend with wide eyes. She did not want the bloody wand and she surely did not deserve it, as there hadn’t even been a duel between them. She told Albus as much, but the Headmaster just shook his head with one of those smiles. 

“Ah, but there you are wrong, my dear. No one could have done what you did today. Or do you want to tell me that casting the Avada was not a sacrifice and a trial for you?”

She sighed. “It was. I can tell it changed me more than I like to admit. And I do not know if I like who or what I’ve become.” With a grim smile she accepted Albus’ wand, weighing it skeptically in her hand.

“Nonsense. You were always one of my favourites, Minerva, and you still are. Don’t ever doubt it.”

She nodded, her throat too tight to utter a single word. But she felt like words were not needed between them, because Albus’ eyes told her unmistakably, that he understood.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“It is done.”

Never before had three simple words had such an impact on Hermione’s life. But when the Headmaster announced the destruction of the Horcrux, Professor McGonagall nodding to his right, Hermione felt like crying with relief. She had just seen Harry for dinner which meant she knew he was fine. The words spoken by the Professors, explaining that Professor Dumbledore had been the one absorbing the Horcrux, only confirmed as much.

“I cannot believe you did this, Albus,” Severus said, his voice full of disbelief. Still, his words made the Headmaster smile. 

“Did what? Survive? Well, Severus, I do have my methods,” Professor Dumbledore replied vaguely. Hermione did not question him. After all he was a very powerful wizard who had lived through two wizarding wars already. Furthermore his familiar was a phoenix and if she had to place a bet, she’d say that Fawkes probably had something to do with his survival. Maybe she and Severus could discuss this theory later, because strangely the Headmaster did not say much and neither did Professor McGonagall. 

“Your methods and your secrets, I imagine,” Severus replied, shaking his head with a slow smile. “Very well then. Now that this is taken care of, all we have to do is lure out that bastard and kill him... after killing that snake.”

“We will think of something,” Professor McGonagall assured them tiredly. “I daresay after saving Mr Potter while still getting rid of that piece of foul magic, everything is possible.” 

“Hear, hear,” Severus said and even though his voice held a hint of sarcasm, Hermione could see him smiling. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus planned to carefully prepare himself and Hermione for the last, big fight, but it wasn’t meant to be. Because as soon as he opened the Prophet the next morning, he knew that their time was running out. 

  
  


_ Gringotts raided by Death Eaters _

_ By Rita Skeeter _

_ Last night the occupants of Diagon Alley got to witness a destruction that isn’t only most worrisome, but completely unheard of. Last week the prestigious bank was attacked by a rampaging, fire-breathing dragon, only to be revisited by a veritable horde of masked Death Eaters this week, accompanied by none other than You-Know-Who himself. It appears they did not like the idea of their funds being endangered by a rampaging dragon, or the goblins’ greedy hands, because it did not take long until screams could be heard from the heart of the majestic building as well as the earth itself shaking in their wake.  _

_ What happened in the vaults of Gringotts can only be guessed but rumors have it that You-Know-How stepped out of the building empty handed and furious. Perhaps He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named knew that the so-called ‘accidental’ dragon escape had been an elaborate ruse by the goblins to ransack the very vaults they ‘protect’.  _

_ After this brave reporter entered the empty halls of Gringotts, one thing can be said for sure. Whatever He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named found missing, must have been very important, and the goblins paid dearly for not having protected it accordingly. I believe they will not make the same mistake again, but it still makes one wonder if Gringotts’ vaults are as safe as they were promised to be. If even You-Know-Who has been robbed, right under the goblins’ long noses or even by them, then it makes one wonder if our belongings are still safe in the bank, or what is left of it now.  _

_   
_ _ Whatever the truth may be, this fearless reporter will stop at nothing to get you, my devoted readers, to get to the bottom of this newest scandal.  _

  
  


Severus closed the newspaper with a silent curse, his eyes drifting towards the Headmaster, who stared into the Great Hall with a contemplative gaze. He guessed it was a good thing that they had gotten rid of Harry’s Horcrux this fast because one thing was sure: their time had just run out. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Never before had Draco been summoned by Granger, but here he was, a sealed envelope in his hands that had just been delivered to him by a female house-elf. The message was short, but it unmistakably told him to meet her in her private quarters, and Draco was pretty sure she was not inviting him over for a romantic adventure. 

His suspicion was confirmed when he did not only find Granger in the room, but Zabini as well. The boy was casually leaning against her fireplace, looking at him with his eyebrows raised questioningly. 

“Well, this meeting has just gotten a hell of a lot more interesting, Mione,” Zabini said, casting the girl an amused smile. “As I do not think you are striving to fulfill one of your sexual fantasies, I cannot help but wonder what this meeting is about.”

Granger rolled her eyes. “I bet you are,” she said, while running her fingers through her hair. “I called you both, because I wanted to warn you. Something is going to happen. I don’t know what exactly, but it is going to be rough. You surely have read the article in the Prophet.”

Draco nodded carefully. “Don’t tell me you took the thing the Dark Lord was looking for at Gringotts.”

“Not me, that would be ridiculous. But some of us did,” she admitted, sounding almost apologetic. “There have been other… things we took and as soon as he finds out they are missing as well, he will be furious.”

“That sounds like an interesting story,” Blaise observed with a smirk. “I hope you’ll tell me the full version one day.”

The girl shrugged. “I might.” She started to pace the room, looking at both of them with a worried expression. “But that is not the  _ point _ right now. It looks like things are going to end pretty soon. I don’t know when or where, but there is going to be some sort of fight.” She wrung her hands. “I did not call you to ask for your help but… if either of you is able to hide, whether inside or outside the country, you should leave now… as in  _ today _ .”

Draco swallowed. “I am staying,” he said, after a short moment of hesitation, even though his heart was beating heavily in his chest. “Not just because I owe you, Granger. But this bastard has almost destroyed my life. I want to be present when we do the same to him.”

Blaise smirked, before he walked towards the girl with slow steps. “I told you weeks ago that I would fight by your side, should the day come,” he said, his hand taking hers. It was strange seeing Zabini like this, looking at her tenderly when there was obviously nothing romantic going on between them. It probably was not for his lack of trying, Draco mused, feeling momentarily sorry for his classmate. “I think you also remember the other offer I made concerning our house in Italy. If there is anybody you’d rather have out of the country…”

At that, Granger sighed. “Harry. If there’s someone Voldemort is after, then it’s him. But he’ll never go. There is no use in even asking.” 

Draco could not help but snort at the ridiculousness of that statement. “Please, Granger. You aligned yourself with no less than three Slytherins. If you want Potter in Italy, he can be there tomorrow morning without being any wiser of what or how it happened.” He looked over to Zabini, challengingly raising his eyebrow. 

The other Slytherin nodded. “All it needs is an Okay from you. We’ll take care of the rest.”

She didn't even hesitate. “Do it. Take Ginny as well. Maybe he’ll forgive me if we send his girlfriend along,” she said, teeth worrying at her bottom lip.

Draco nodded. He had never thought he’d ever get to kidnap Potter, of all people but here he was and the Gryffindor princess was asking him to do just that. If he’d indeed outlive this snake-faced bastard, this moment would surely be among his fondest memories. 

  
  
  
  
  



	93. Felix Felicis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As this story is already finished, I will try to give you a chapter every day now. Let’s see if real life lets me do so.
> 
> [Justsare](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsare/pseuds/justsare) again did the hard work and betaed for me. Thank you, my friend! 

Hermione had carefully stored the little phial of Felix Felicis, keeping it for the day in her life she would need it most. As Lord Voldemort’s cold voice rang through her head, demanding to be let into the castle and to have Harry handed over, threatening to otherwise run over the castle, Hermione knew the day to take her dose of liquid luck had finally come. 

“All students head to your common rooms please,” Professor Dumbledore’s voice echoed through the hall, as soon as the voice in her head had died down. “Your Prefects will accompany you there. You are not to leave your common rooms  _ under any circumstances _ . Do not worry, you will be well protected there.”

Several students at the Gryffindor table nodded, worried and agitated murmurs being uttered all around her. With a sigh, she looked around, noted that Harry and Ginny were indeed missing this morning. But she had not expected anything less after Severus had assured her that both of them were safely situated in Italy where they had probably just woken up from a long slumber. Harry would probably never forgive her, but she would not risk his life because Trelawney had spouted a lot of Hogwash two decades ago. And even if the woman had for once made a real prophecy, those things seemed to be rather self-fulfilling in her opinion. There was  _ no way _ her friend was able to kill Voldemort today and she was not willing to find out if the prophecy was actually valid or it meant it was Harry who was going to die instead of the man standing in front of Hogwarts’ gates now. In case Harry really  _ was  _ the one supposed to kill Voldemort, she would rather have him out of the country, giving him a real chance to learn and prepare for the fight he’d have to face.

It only took a moment for the students to get up and walk out of the Great Hall and Hermione followed them calmly, even though her heart hammered against her ribcage. She knew she would not be of much use in a battle, but there still had to be something she could do, without getting in the way or endangering her life. 

Making a quick decision, she ducked into the corridor that led to her private quarters, but before she could take more than three steps she was held back by a hand on her shoulder.

“Where do you think you’re going?” a voice asked and when she whirled around she could see Ron, looking at her questioningly. 

“To my quarters,” she said impatiently. “I need to check something.” 

“Well, you’re not going alone. There’s a bunch of Death Eaters in front of the castle!”

“I am not planning to wander off, Ronald,” Hermione replied with an eye-roll. “Even though I am of age, I do not think I’d have a chance against even one of those Death Eaters. But… back at the beginning of the year, I won a phial of Felix Felicis from Professor Slughorn. If there is a good day to use it, it would be today, don’t you think?”

To her surprise, Ron nodded. “True. It might not do you any good in the end, but I guess it is worth a try. Alright, come on.”

The redhead brushed past her and together they hurried into her room. There she unwarded her desk and took the potion from the drawer she had stored it in. “I have no idea if this is going to work,” she admitted, before uncorking the phial and downing the potion with three gulps. It tasted delicious, she realized, and for a short moment she had the urge to drink even more, but there was not a single drop left. 

“Did it work?” Ron asked doubtfully. Why did he suddenly doubt her? She felt  _ glorious _ and all of a sudden she had the unmistakable feeling that everything was going to be alright. “Hermione?” Ron sounded worried.

She blinked. “I think I will go and see the Headmaster,” she announced instead of answering him and without waiting for his reply she turned back towards the door. “I’ve got the feeling that there’s something important I need to do in his office. And you need to come with me.”

“What are you… are you… are you  _ sure _ ?” Ron asked and she could hear his hasty steps behind her. “I think we really should go to the common room. Who knows how much longer it will be until those Death Eaters are inside the castle?” 

“We will be fine, Ronald,” Hermione replied, her inner voice telling her that they indeed would be. The Headmaster’s office was where she needed to go. She’d never been so sure of anything in her life.

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“They are right in front of the wards,” Albus announced just as they left the Great Hall together, his eyes focussed on Severus and all his other teachers. “There is no saying how long the wards will hold out, especially as there also seem to be some vampires and other dark creatures. But I will do my best to strengthen them before we send an answer to him.”

“What kind of answer?” Pomona asked worriedly. “There is no way I will let that man into the castle, or hand over Mr Potter.”

“We will do no such thing,” Minerva answered, her brows furrowed. “The bastard will not even get near our cubs.”

Albus nodded. “Indeed, he will not. Apart from that, I have been told that Mr Potter is no longer in the castle, or even in the country.”

“He is not?” Sybill asked, her voice sounding even more confused than it usually was. Albus almost felt sorry for her. 

“No, he is not,” Severus answered grimly, before he turned towards him. His eyes were cold and calculative but Albus could also see determination and strength glinting in them. He was glad he had not irreparably alienated the man under the unfortunate influence of that poison. “Now Headmaster? What do you want us to do?”

Albus stroked his beard, considering their options. “First we need to make sure the students are safe. I imagine we will need some stronger wards around the common rooms. Minerva, Pomona, Filius, and Horace. This task will fall to you. In the meantime I will send a Patronus to the Order and ask for their support. They can take the floo right into my office. Apart from the common rooms, this will be the safest place at the castle. The rest of you can start to ready the castle for battle. Tom might not be aware of it, but by bringing the fight to Hogwarts he made a big mistake. I believe it will be his last one.”

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“Dumbledore‘s not here,” Ron murmured, while hesitantly following Hermione into the empty office. They had not met a single person on their way up here, but Hermione did not look like she had been worried about them being discovered, or in fact about anything. There was a wide, careless smile on her lips and had he not been afraid that they could be overrun by Death Eaters any second, it would almost have been funny. Luckily, the castle’s halls were empty, at least for now. 

“No, he is not,” Hermione replied, walking through the office like she didn’t have a care in the world. Still, she did not seem to know what she was looking for, or  _ whom _ , as she did not even seem bothered by Dumbledore’s absence. 

“What are we looking for?” Ron asked, starting to feel impatient. Merlin, suddenly he doubted that taking that damned potion had been a good idea, because what would be the best possible outcome for a student like Hermione in a fight against You-Know-Who? He doubted there was much she could really do.

Hermione huffed. “Looking for? I’m not looking, Ronald. I just had the feeling that it was a good idea to be here. Do you know what I mean?”

He didn’t. “Not really, no,” he therefore said, looking around the room while barely daring to move. He did not think Dumbledore would be very pleased with them, if he found them going through his things or even being in the room, without him having invited them. “But I imagine one needs to have consumed a full dose of liquid luck to understand your logic right now.”

Hermione did not even seem to recognize the sarcasm in his voice, as she simply nodded absentmindedly, her fingers brushing the book on Dumbledore’s desk. Just in that moment there was a musical trill from behind him, making him jump in surprise and whip around. 

“Fawkes!” Hermione cooed just as his eyes fell on the phoenix that seemed to watch them from his perch in the back of the room. “How are you, my boy?”

Not that the bird could answer her anyway, Ron thought grumpily. If that phoenix talked to anybody, then it was to his master, telling him that there had been intruders in his office. Fuck. Dumbledore would possibly take him as the new Mundungus Fletcher. 

To his surprise, Fawkes indeed seemed to recognize Hermione, as he opened his wings and flew over towards her, landing on her shoulder. Ron could not help but stare at his friend with an open mouth. 

“Don’t tell me that phoenix talks to you…” he said, but Hermione shook her head with a smile. 

“He doesn’t. But Fawkes is a clever bird which means that he does not only understand us, but I think he also has an idea why I am here. Isn’t that right, Fawkes?” 

She sounded like she was talking to a puppy, Ron mused, noting in astonishment that the majestic bird started to nibble on the girl’s earlobe, causing her to giggle. 

Ron sighed, asking: “And why  _ are  _ we here?” 

At that the phoenix rose to the air, making another one of those musical sounds while looking at him expectantly. Huh.

“I think he wants to take us somewhere,” Hermione said and without hesitation she gripped one of the bird’s legs. Ron heard her giggle, but he followed her example after a moment of hesitation. He could only hope that the bird would not carry them right into the arms of those crazy Death Eaters. But now it was too late to change his mind, as the phoenix took off right as Ron could hear the floo activate. He just caught a look at his twin brothers, noting the look of surprise on their faces, before he was gone, flames erupting all around him. So much for staying undetected.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


As soon as Draco stepped into the Slytherin common room, he knew that his first problem would not be the Dark Lord, but some of his classmates. He could only guess that some of them had been given certain instructions by their Death Eater parents, and as soon as he became aware of their dark, violent expressions, he knew he was in trouble. Fuck. 

“Well Malfoy, looks like the day of reckoning suddenly came for you,” Garrett Shafiq, a seventh year, said. He had assembled a group of five other students around him and to his dismay Draco saw that Crabbe and Goyle were amongst them. Somehow he had hoped that his former friends would not turn against him, but he guessed their recent, cold behaviour should have given him enough of an indication.

“Yeah, Malfoy. Looks like your new friend Weasley can’t help you here,” Crabbe said, pointing his wand at him. 

Draco felt himself stiffen. He would not give them the satisfaction of showing weakness; he would hold himself like a man, even though he didn’t have much of a chance against six of them. 

“Then it’s good that Malfoy‘s made a bunch of other friends, too,” a voice behind him suddenly announced. Malfoy would have known Zabini’s arrogant tone anywhere, but he’d never been so relieved to hear it before. When he turned around though, Draco realized that Zabini was not the only one who had joined him. There was Greengrass, Parkinson, Bullstrode, and even Nott, but there were also several seventh year students that Draco had barely talked to. 

“And those friends want nothing to do with the world You-Know-Who has planned for them,” Nott said, casting the first curse without forewarning. “I am sick of others making decisions for me,” he gritted out, just as Goyle stumbled backwards, his stunned body hitting the floor. “Especially if they decide that cowering before a megalomaniac madman is the best thing to do.”

“I am not kneeling before anyone,” Parkinson exclaimed, before shooting off a hex of her own while proudly throwing back her hair. Draco smiled. She’d just gotten a lot more sexy to him, and it wasn’t just because she and her friends were about to save his sorry arse. 

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Severus had known this day would come for quite some time and even though he had hoped Voldemort (he would not give him the satisfaction of calling him Lord any longer) would not attack Hogwarts, it was maybe the best thing that could have happened to them. The students would be safe enough in the common rooms and Hermione with them, while the wards and the castle’s defense mechanisms would give them an advantage over their enemies - or so he hoped. Albus at least seemed to think so.

“Where do you want to battle him?” he found himself asking the Headmaster, once he had followed him to the Astronomy tower. From there he could see the group of Death Eaters, small black dots with silver and golden masks that reflected the sun. They weren’t their only problem though, because behind them there were hordes of gigantic spiders, vampires, werewolves and… “My god, are those  _ giants _ ?”

“We’ll have to let them come,” Albus said contemplatively, ignoring his comment about the giants. “Stepping out of the castle would mean giving up the support Hogwarts can give us and apart from that, we know where Tom will be headed to.”

“The Room of Requirements,” Severus observed, noting Albus’ nod. 

“Exactly. I imagine it will be difficult to not lose focus with all these incoming… troops. But we must not forget that Tom and his snake are our highest priority. As soon as he is out of the game, most of the others will defect.”

Severus nodded. “I imagine they will. But it is not like I need any convincing to try kicking that bastard's arse, or taking off his head. The sooner he is down, the sooner I can breathe,” he said thinking  _ ‘and Hermione will finally be safe, even though I might not live to see it.’ _

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“Where are we?” 

Ron’s voice echoed through the cave, blue light dots shining on his hair. She should have known that this was where Fawkes would take her, even though she could not pinpoint why. The crystal cave had always held a special kind of magic to her, even though she could not have said why. 

“Below the Black Lake,” Hermione answered while looking around the cave with searching eyes. Somehow it seemed like there were even more crystals on the stone walls then she remembered, but she could not be sure, of course. “Severus and I were here a few months ago.”

“Huh.”

Ron took a few steps towards her, his eyes fixing her with something akin to awe. “And what are those lights?” he asked. “Because there are more and more of them flying towards you, coming down on you like fucking shooting stars.”

There really were many lights, Hermione mused, looking down at the skin of her arm. It was almost completely covered in blue lights, that seemed to move across her skin like something that was very much alive. “We never found out about those lights,” she admitted, suddenly regretting it. But maybe it still wasn’t too late to do so. 

Driven by instinct, she stretched out her arm, carefully walking towards the nearest wall to touch it with her fingers. She could see the lights following her there, as well as Ron’s eyes, who seemed to be full of doubt and questions. Still, she knew she was doing the right thing, and it wasn’t just because the Felix Felicis told her so. 

_ “Mother has returned.” _

Hermione blinked, her movements stilling. Had that voice just been in her head?

She shook her head in sudden confusion. “Hello?” Nothing. “Ron? Did you hear that, too?”

The redhead shook his head. “Hear what?” he asked, his voice echoing through the cave. That probably had not helped to settle her friend’s strained nerves.

“ _ Mother has not forgotten us.”  _ There it was again. This voice was definitely in her head, she realized. “ _ Mother came. _ ”

_ “Who are you?”  _ she found herself asking, reassured by Fawkes’ calming presence on her shoulder. A phoenix was a creature of the light and as he had led them here, there was most likely no danger for her here, even though hearing voices in one's head was usually not a good thing. 

_ “No one has ever given us a name, mother. But we  _ are _. We are light, we are magic, and we are part of you, _ ” the voices replied and she suddenly realized that there were many of them in her head, speaking as one. 

_ “Part of me, how?”  _ Hermione found herself asking, staring into the cave and realizing that more and more lights drifted towards her, the crystals on the walls turning dark as their light source seemed to leave them. Could it be that those tiny organisms, or whatever they were, caused them to glow in the first place?  _ “And how are we even communicating? Because I do not think my friend is able to hear you.” _

Her suspicion was confirmed by the redhead’s words a moment later. “Hermione? What’s happening to you?”

“I don’t know,” she answered him truthfully. “But I think the lights... are wanting to communicate with me.” Hermione saw Ron shake his head in confusion and fear, but she did not pay him any mind, feeling that getting in contact with the light creatures was far more important right now. 

“ _We learned your language, mother. Some of us travelled with you for the last months,_ _grew inside you while learning about your way to communicate. We watched you, human girl, and after a while we saw that you are, indeed, mother.”_

Hermione blinked. Those lights had travelled with her? Well, she had seen them on hers and Severus’ skin when they left the cave the first time, but somehow she had assumed they had disappeared after a while. Obviously she had been wrong. “ _ You  _ grew _ inside me? How _ ?” 

_ “We grew through your and your mate’s magic. It is as pure and bright as the light,”  _ the voices in her head hummed and Hermione realized that a strange feeling of peace started to overcome her. Still, there were so many questions running through her head and with those Death Eaters threatening to overrun Hogwarts she knew she had no time to ask them. 

“ _ So you grew through my magic? But how can I be your mother? You were here already and even though there seem to be more of you now…”  _ The implications of that blew her mind.

The voices hummed: _ “Being mother is a choice, human child. You are already mother to so many, not only those of your kind, are you not? Your magic accepted us as your children and now we are... Do you not want us to be yours?” _

How could she even begin to answer that question? Given her current worry for her friends and Hogwarts’ defenders it was next to impossible to get her mind around those new facts, but once again she could feel the Felix Felicis nudging her into a certain direction. “ _ Of course I want you, it is just that I am worried about my friends and my mate right now. There is an attack at the castle, you see? Don’t get me wrong, I’d really love to stay and talk to you much longer, but I cannot do so as long as my mind is clouded with worry.” _

For a moment there was silence and Hermione started to fear she had somehow angered or disappointed those strange creatures. But then she could see a few lights leaving her body and floating towards the ceiling of the cave. She could see them disappearing through the stone and her eyes remained fixed on the place where she had seen them disappearing. 

_ “We can feel the dark one approaching,”  _ the voices in her head answered after a while and this time they sounded much more urgent.  _ “He is a foul and twisted creature and he has brought many dark ones with him.” _

Hermione nodded.  _ “I know. They want to take over the castle. If we do not find a way to stop them, many will die,”  _ she explained, feeling herself getting more and more desperate. “ _ But I cannot fight him or the other dark ones. Their magic is much stronger and there is not much I could do in a fight.” _

_ “Mother does not fight,”  _ the voices hummed softly. _ “Mother does not destroy or kill, it is not who she is - and it is not who we are.”  _ Hermione wanted to deny their words, but she could not, because they were right. Still, she needed to find a way to help her friends, but before she could utter a reply, the voices continued:  _ “Do not forget that we have seen your actions, mother, we have seen your heart. We know you do not want to go out there to fight, you want to protect. That, we can help you with.” _

_ “You can help me?”  _ she asked, hope suddenly blooming in her chest.  _ “How?” _

At that, the voices chuckled. _ “We are light, mother, and there is nothing the darkness is more afraid of.” _

It took her a moment to notice that more and more lights started to leave her body, floating towards the ceiling. At first there were only a few but soon almost the whole cave was alight, causing Fawkes to give off a musical cry, before taking off into the air.

“Hermione? What’s happening?” she could hear Ron asking and even though she was not completely sure herself, she turned towards him with a victorious smile. 

“We are going to protect the castle,” she said while taking out her wand. The patronus charm flew from her lips without hesitation and soon she could see her otter swim through the air, approaching the lights without hesitation. Fawkes, too, took off and joined him with what sounded like a battle cry.

Hermione smiled and looked at her friend. “Ron? Do you want to help as well? Or do you just want to stand there, staring?”

At that Ron chuckled, while reaching for his wand. “I have no idea what we are doing, Mione,” he admitted with a crooked smile. “But I’m in.” 

With a happy smile Hermione watched the little Terrier dash out of the tip of his wand, joining the other light creatures before disappearing through the stone walls. She watched them leave, her heart full of hope and happiness. Maybe there truly was a power the Dark Lord knew nothing about, and she realized she just might have found it.

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	94. The power he knows not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was edited by my writer friend Justsare. 
> 
> Here’s the rest of the final battle for you. It was a pain to write, but all battle scenes are difficult to do for me. I hope you like it anyway. 
> 
> Tomorrow I’ll upload the epilogue and then we’re done. I cannot believe it. 

“The wards will not keep them out much longer,” Severus observed, eying the horde of approaching Dementors with trepidation. They were the worst of them all, at least for him, as there did not seem to be a spell to kill them and they turned a wizard’s fear and worst memories against him - and Severus had many of the latter. How were they supposed to fight an enemy that was outnumbering them ten to one? How were a bunch of Hogwarts Professors and a group of amateurs assembled by Dumbledore supposed to hold out against  _ that _ ?

Severus cursed. He could feel the Dementors’ influence already starting to poison his thoughts, his heart growing heavy with hesitation and worry. Still, there was no denying that this would be difficult, even with Dumbledore taking care of the snake-faced bastard.

“I am afraid not,” Dumbledore replied, his blue eyes shining with something akin to worry. “I must admit I did not expect him to assemble such a number of allies in such a short amount of time,” he said, just as Severus heard steps behind him. When Severus turned he saw that it was the Weasley twins, accompanied by the only werewolf that seemed to be on their side of the war. Well, at least the Order seemed to have answered the Headmaster’s call. 

“Well, looks like there are enough for both of us, Georgie,” Fred said, a crooked grin playing on his face. Merlin, would those two joking idiots ever grow up? Probably not, Severus mused, greeting them with a silent nod. He would not ridicule them today, not when it was questionable if one or both of them would survive the battle that would break loose soon enough. Those green boys had never seen war and even though Albus had given the Order some duelling lessons, they did not seem nearly prepared for what they were about to face.

George, the other redhead, sighed. “At least Ronniekins is out of the castle,” he said, rubbing his neck while looking at the Headmaster. “Thank you for sending him and Granger away.”

It took a moment for those words to sink in, but when they did, Severus turned towards them, brows furrowed. “Say that again,” he prompted the boy, who seemed to have realized that what he said had not had the desired effect. 

“Did you not send them?” George asked, sounding worried. “We just saw them leave the Headmaster’s office with a phoenix, which was why we assumed…” he broke off, as Dumbledore’s eyes fell on him. 

“Fawkes once more seems to have decided to act on his own,” the old man said, his voice sounding more tired than amused. “Let us hope he did indeed transport them out of the castle. Otherwise, I cannot guarantee their safety.”

Severus cursed. What had Hermione been thinking not going back to the common rooms like she had been told. Had that idiot Weasley dragged her into some kind of trouble? He swore, if that redhead got her killed… he could feel his pulse speeding up at the thought alone. No, Hermione was safe, she needed to be.

There was a loud cracking sound right at the moment when the wards broke down and with a heavy heart Severus watched as their magic went fizzling out. The next thing he heard was a large roar as the giants celebrated this first little victory against their enemies and Severus could see them starting to move, the werewolves and spiders right behind. It would only be minutes or even seconds until they would reach the castle and hell would break loose. How long could the stone walls keep them out? They could not just stand here, letting them break through, especially as Voldemort and his Death Eaters had not moved an inch so far. That bastard had always preferred to let others do all the work for him. 

“Stay here,” Albus said grimly. “I will go down and welcome our guests.”

Severus wanted to tell him he was mad, but right at that moment he was distracted by one of the twins, who pointed towards the approaching rabble, shouting: “What’s that?”

Severus squinted his eyes and then he saw it, a small cluster of light coming from the direction of the lake, followed by what looked like… he paused.

“Is that a Patronus?” Lupin asked and Severus found himself nodding. It wasn’t just  _ a _ Patronus; it was Hermione’s. 

The twins must have reached the same conclusion. “Two of them,” Fred agreed. “An otter and a terrier, I believe. But what’s that behind them?”

No one seemed to know the answer, and so Severus somewhat speechlessly watched Hermione’s Patronus drawing a large circle around the castle, leaving a trail of glowing lights behind that melted into some sort of barrier that grew until a huge, shining dome closed around Hogwarts. For a moment their enemies’ movements seemed to pause, some of them eying the border of light suspiciously. Then, the giants continued to move forward, while the werewolves, the vampires, and the dementors moved backwards, as they were afraid of the light in front of them. 

“Gah, what is this?” Lupin, too, had sunken to his knees, holding his head. “What kind of magic is this?”

Dumbledore looked at him with a knowing smile. “White Magic, my friend. I believe our Miss Granger has just somewhat balanced the odds. You see, Dark Creatures detest White Magic as it is what they fear the most.”

“Not the giants though,” Fred observed with a grimace. “Well, Georgie, we cannot let our little brother have all the fun, can we?”

“Absolutely, brother dear. After you!” the other redhead shouted and with a grin and a bow towards the professors, they jumped down the balcony, into the schoolyard.

“Careless idiots,” Severus scolded but then he saw that Albus, too, had climbed the railing. 

The old man looked at him with a smile. “Well, Severus. We cannot all be Gryffindors, can we?” And with that he, too, was gone. 

  
  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Albus had always considered dying in battle a very likely death for him and he had always been fine with it. There were worse ways to go, like being murdered by a friend or being poisoned over months. No, dying in battle sounded all right, especially if he did so to protect his school and the students inside it. He decided protecting them would be his primary goal, even more important than killing Tom, because there were others capable of that feat, even though they might not yet realize it. 

No, he would defend the castle and with Miss Granger’s unexpected feat of White Magic, his chance of survival had just dramatically increased. Even though he no longer wielded the Elder Wand, Albus had one thing in abundance: creativity. Therefore he used his whole talent for transfiguration and spell-crafting when the giants finally reached the school. He transfigured pebbles into traps and gigantic ropes, bringing the giants down one by one by using what they did not have, against them: intelligence. They were nothing more than gigantic toddlers, even though their magical resistance would have been an obstacle if he had decided to directly attack them - which he did not. Yes, Tom had convinced them to fight for his side, but Albus was sure he had done so with lies and false promises. 

The spiders, on the other hand, did not deserve his mercy and while he observed the Weasley twins taking them out with well-aimed stunners, Albus burned them with Fiendfire, that attacked them in the form of a phoenix. Most wizards did not have the power to wield it with such precision, but luckily Albus had never been just any wizard. 

“Well, well, old man, you always have been easily baited, have you not?” a cold voice taunted him and he looked up, noting that almost all the spiders were gone. 

The Death Eaters had finally arrived at the scene, with them Tom, who stared at him with victorious, red-gleaming eyes. Albus smiled grimly.

“Only you can regard others’ lives as bait,” he said, skillfully directing his Fiendfire-phoenix at a spider that lurched towards one of the Weasley twins. 

Voldemort chuckled amusedly. “What do you call them then? Pawns? Sacrifices? But no, the king has decided to join the battle himself, has he not?” 

A gesture of his fingers was all it took for his Death Eaters to join the fight, Unforgivable curses flying left and right, attacking him and the other Order members who had joined them. Albus could see Horace duelling Nott, while Pomona faced off against Dolohov. He sighed. Some of them would not survive, he knew, no matter how hard he tried. 

“Only a fool regards himself as a king,” Albus said and his words were answered by a cold-hearted laugh. 

“And a fool you are, Albus Dumbledore. How did you like my little puppet trick? I had really hoped you would bite the dust before the year was out, and take that traitor Severus with you.” Tom sighed pseudo-dramatically. “But I guess I will just have to finish your little pet-Slytherin today.” 

With that he strode off, his black robe billowing as he climbed over dead spiders and rubble like they were nothing to him. For a short moment, Albus considered following him, but then his path was blocked off by Bella, who looked at him with a maliciously glinting eye.

“Well, old man. Now it is just you and me. Shall we see which of us is faster to dance - and to die?” With a mad chuckle, she threw a Killing Curse towards him, forcing him to block it off by transfiguring another pebble to provide cover for him. He sighed. Tom would have to wait, especially as his snake was nowhere to be seen. 

  
  
  


Sssssss

  
  


Until now, Minerva had defended the castle from one of the balconies, pushing the attackers back by transfiguring the ground or her surroundings. It had worked well until Voldemort and his Death Eaters arrived and several wizarding duels broke loose. She remembered Albus’ words well, even though the Headmaster himself seemed to have forgotten them. Lord Voldemort was the one that had to go down, and go down he would. 

With quick steps Minerva retreated inside the castle. The halls were mostly quiet but she knew where she would find her enemy. Unfortunately, she was not the only one having that particular thought. As soon as she reached the big staircase she could hear Severus’ voice, before she heard Voldemort himself answering. 

“Well Severussss, I expected I’d have to lure you out by capturing your little mudblood-whore. But here you are, facing your most disappointed master all by yourself. How very… noble of you.”

Hearing that voice alone gave her the chills and she could only imagine how Severus must feel in that very moment. He had served that man for almost two decades and she could not even guess what terrible memories he had from that time. 

“You are no longer my master,” Minerva heard her friend growl and she saw a flash of light that must have come from a curse, even though she could not say for sure who had spoken it. “I spied on you even before you decided to kill Lily Evans, did you not know? You have not been my master for a very long time.”

More flashes of light followed and now Minerva was sure that both of them were casting. She hurried down the staircase. 

“Traitor!” she heard Voldemort hiss and she arrived right in time to witness Severus dodge a Killing Curse, his body moving with a grace and agility that she had not expected from him. Still, she could see that his opponent was already about to throw the next curse and there was no saying, if Severus would be able to avoid it again. Minerva would not risk it. Instead she transfigured the floor below Voldemort's feet, causing the man to stumble backwards and lose his focus.

“He is not alone, Tom,” she said in a clipped tone while carefully walking down the last stairs. She knew that addressing the man by his first name probably was not a good idea, but Minerva had known him as a student and she wanted to remind him of that fact. She would not be afraid of one of her former pupils, even though he might surpass her in magical power and knowledge now. 

“Minerva McGonagall. Well, I must say I am not surprised to see you here. You have always been Albus’ loyal lap-dog, have you not? Even though the term kitty would probably be more fitting, don’t you think?” 

There was not an ounce of fear or respect in his voice, only cruelty and amusement. She let it brush over her without giving any sort of reaction, while walking towards the man’s back. They had the best chances if they attacked him from two sides, even though it was not what was considered fair duelling practise. 

“Two against one, Severus? Really?” Tom said, directing another curse towards his former follower. “I never took you for a coward.”

Minerva did not even know what curse it was he had cast, but she trusted that Severus would. Therefore she grabbed a pinch of sand, which she always carried around in her robes, from her pocket and started to transfigure the grains into needles, which she shot towards her enemy. They did not reach him, but were reduced to dust even without Voldemort turning around. But it did not matter. She had just started. 

“Fuck you, you bastard. Today you will die, no matter if through my hand, Minerva’s or Albus’. I could not care less, as long as I can spit on your dead body,” Severus growled, expertly blocking Voldemort’s curse, before throwing back a  _ Septumsempra _ . Voldemort redirected it towards him with a chuckle.

“You are delusional, Severus. The only one of us dying today is you,” Voldemort exclaimed and before Minerva understood what happened, she saw a huge snake appearing behind Severus, leaping towards him without forewarning. She could see her friend whipping around, his left arm raised for protection. But there was no spell from him, no counter curse; All she heard was a curse and a hiss of pain. 

That was when she knew she needed to do something. Again her fingers went to her robe, pulling out a handful of marbles. Knowing there would be a fight soon she had made some preparations herself, transfiguring a range of useful things to store them in her robe. Without hesitation she threw the marbles toward Voldemort, quickly undoing the transfiguration she had placed on them, morphing them back into the deadly spiders they were. Several of them got caught on Voldemort's robe, started crawling over him and Minerva used the few seconds she had gained to pull out some more. She did not wait for her enemy to react to her first assault, just threw them again. This time Tom was faster, though and a blasting curse ground them to fine powder that was floating through the air around him as they blasted into millions of pieces. 

“Your efforts are useless,” the snake-faced man shouted, turning towards her with a gleeful expression. “Your friend,” he motioned behind him “will soon be dead, as my beloved Nagini has found a liking for his blood.”

Minerva’s eyes widened, realizing that the gigantic snake had indeed buried her fangs in Severus’ arm, and having seen what the poison had done to Arthur, she knew that he would not have long until he collapsed. 

“Which means there is only you and me now,  _ Professor _ ,” Tom added, raising his wand. No spell came, however, as there suddenly was a loud hiss and a thud, followed by an angry howl from Voldemort. When she looked behind him, she knew why. Nagini’s body was dead on the floor, the tail still twitching, while a puddle of blood formed around her. Just as Minerva’s eyes travelled up to Severus, she could see him throwing the snake’s head aside, his right hand still clutching the sharp knife he must have used to behead her. Still, he was bleeding from several puncture wounds, but even though he surely was in pain, he looked at the madman between them with grim determination. 

“Let us try that again, you ugly bastard,” he growled, raising his wand before shooting a silent curse towards his enemy. It was this that finally pulled her out of her numbness and with a swirl of her wand she sent a gust of wind towards Voldemort, picking up the dust on the floor all around him and making it swirl around him like a small tornado. She knew it would not distract him for long, but it did not have to. She had another plan in mind. 

A wave of his wand made the tornado collapse, while he elegantly dodged Severus’ curse. Then he turned towards her, a mad glint in his eyes. 

“Those are nothing but prestidigitations, Professor,” he said. “They will not stop me.”

She did not waste her time with a reply. Instead she smiled while starting another transfiguration, one that probably would not have been possible without the power of her new wand. Tom, realizing that she was just attempting another transfiguration, did not even try to stop her. Instead he shot another dark curse towards Severus, a sickly red beam of light that her friend redirected towards the wall to their right, making it collapse. But Minerva did not let herself get distracted, as what she was attempting was most difficult and deadly. 

It only took seconds for her plan to take effect. 

“What are you… What did you do?” Voldemort gasped, whirling around while clutching his throat. His next breath was already an audible wheeze, his body desperate for air but getting none. 

“Only some useless transfiguring,” she replied, grim satisfaction taking hold of her. She forced herself to watch, prepared for her enemy to lash out again, but even before Severus shot another curse towards him, Minerva saw the realization in the dying man’s eyes, his body stumbling and keeling over with a moan. 

He fell down right next to his snake, his robes soaking up her blood as his white hand reached for the scaly, dead body, gripping it desperately as his red eyes sought Minerva out.

“This cannot be,” he wheezed, his skin already starting to get blue. “I cannot…” his voice gave out.

“Die?” Severus asked, stepping towards him with a grim smile. “Yes you can, you bastard, and you will.” Minerva saw the dagger glinting in his hand and for a moment she considered holding her friend back, but she decided against it. Instead she watched him kneeling down, cutting the man’s throat with calm precision, his hands not even shaking. Severus may or may not know it, but he had done his former master a mercy by ending his life faster than she would have. Still, he probably felt like he was finally getting his revenge. 

“Severus,” she said, as soon as she was sure their enemy was dead. She could not keep still any longer, as her worry for him started to take over. “We need to get you to the hospital wing!”

The black-haired man blinked, before he rose ever so slowly, a grim smile playing on his lips. “This will not be necessary. I can heal those puncture wounds myself.”

“But the poison,” she reminded him, before noting the amused shake of his head. 

“Really, Minerva. I am a bloody potions master. Did you think I would go after that bastard without dosing myself with antivenom? We were all aware we’d need to take out that ruddy snake first and I was more than prepared to do so.”

Her eyes widened. “You  _ wanted  _ the snake to bite you,” she realized with a headshake. “Didn’t you?”

Severus nodded. “He needed to write me off and turn his attention elsewhere. Voldemort would have never allowed me to kill her otherwise.”

Minerva nodded, knowing that he was right. Only now was she starting to realize that they had truly done it,  _ together _ . 

“It is done,” she said, smiling. “All that is left to do is to show the others.”

No matter how much she disliked it, she levitated Voldemort’s dead body from the floor, making it float in front of them while he started to move towards the door. “Come,” she said to her friend, smiling grimly. “You can spit on him later. The sooner we end this bloody fight, the better.”

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


Bellatrix Lestrange did not feel her master die, as her dead body hit the floor only minutes before the Death Eaters all around Albus started screaming, clutching their left forearms in pain. Albus noted their reaction, hope blooming in his chest as he saw the first one pushing up their sleeve. Indeed, he found the Dark Mark faded to a grey, unmoving symbol, nothing more. 

Some of them must have realized what that meant, as they gave up the fight instantly, holding their hands up in defeat. Others seemed even more desperate, though, and Albus hastily intervened, to prevent further bloodshed. 

“Your master is dead.”

Severus' voice came from the direction of the castle and Dumbledore could see the last fighting die down, as seemingly everybody turned towards him, watching him and Minerva levitate Tom’s body in front of them. They directed it towards the floor and there were a few shocked gasps, before the first defenders exclaimed their relief through shouts and howls. 

“He no longer has any power over you, or his dead pet snake,” Severus continued and Albus knew that the latter comment was meant for him and Remus, who was close enough to hear. It was done then, he realized, unable to hold back the sigh of relief. He was free, his last big task was fulfilled, which meant Albus was finally able to do what Arianna had prompted him to do. He would start living, and even though he would keep the Resurrection Stone for himself, he would not need to talk to his sister again to know what he would do.

  
  


Ssssssss

  
  


“How did you do it?” Severus asked Minerva much later, when the dust of the battle had settled and the wounded had been taken care of. Severus and she had stayed behind in the schoolyard, while most of the others had already retreated back into the castle. There were almost no casualties on their side, Horace being the only one who had fallen victim to one of Nott’s sick creations. He sighed. “How did you kill him?”

“ _ We _ killed him,” Minerva reminded him, repeating what they had told everybody else. Technically it was true, even though Severus knew otherwise. 

“Whatever. Underestimating you was his mistake, one that I’d never make. So?” He needed to know, as his mind would only find rest when he understood. 

“He inhaled the dust around him,” Minerva finally answered him seriously. “I transfigured every grain back into a stone. It was not easy and very tiring, but I considered it worth a shot.”

Severus nodded, silently acknowledging her success. She was glad he did not comment on it, as she herself was not sure yet what to do with the knowledge that she had ended a life. It did not matter how twisted and evil that creature had been in the end. 

“What will you do now?” she found herself asking, but even before she had finished her sentence she was distracted by a whooshing sound to her right, as Fawkes appeared, two young adults in tow. She could not blame Severus as his focus shifted away from her, to Hermione, who looked at him with a happy smile.

“Hermione,” he said breathlessly. “You brilliant, reckless Gryffindor. What did you even think you were doing?”

The girl smiled hesitantly but before she could say a word, Mr Weasley helpfully supplied: “She took a phial of Felix Felicis, Sir. I don’t think it was a bad idea, considering…” he broke off, suddenly smiling apologetically at his classmate. “Sorry.”

Miss Granger shook her head. “You’re alive,” she whispered to Severus before she rushed towards him, her arms closing around him with a happy smile. “It is over. It seems like today really is my lucky day.”

Minerva chuckled. No one could fault the girl for that conclusion, she guessed, not even Severus.

  
  



	95. Epilogue

“There is again a phoenix for young Mistress,” Fiercely announced, bowing deeply before the young woman on the desk. It had been three years now since they moved out of the castle, into the house that his master already owned. It was not an overly large building  _ then _ but Fiercely had seen fit to  _ suggest _ to his mistress that several rooms would need to be added. Mistress Hermione had not once questioned him. 

By now the house not only held two separate laboratories, studies, and libraries, it also had a large underground cavern that was growing blue crystals of light. Fiercely had never understood that particular hobby of his mistress, but he surely would not question her. 

“Did Albus send another glass of honey?” his master asked from the direction of the sofa, looking at his young wife with an amused smile. “I swear if he once more suggests that his magical honey would make a good potion ingredient…” he gritted his teeth, but Fiercely had learned to not fear the man’s temper, as he barely even raised his voice these days. 

“No parcel, master,” he explained, levitating a small postcard towards the desk. “Another postcard.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” 

Those little scenes were almost a weekly occurrence now and Fiercely enjoyed watching his master and mistress bicker back and forth over the former Headmaster’s little gifts. There were plenty, accompanied by postcards and letters sent from various countries. 

“Where did he write from this time?”

Mistress Hermione chuckled. “Looks like he’s snorkelling in the Caribbean,” she said, showing her husband the card that displayed a very much changed man. Fiercely would always remember the day Albus Dumbledore had laid down his position, announcing his retirement shortly after the fight against You-Know-Who was won. The next day he stepped into the Great Hall with short, grey hair, and missing his long, famous beard. There had been a big uproar and Fiercely never completely understood if it was because of the man’s retirement or his change of grooming habits. Either way, the only people seemingly untouched by both were his master and mistress. 

Taking a short look at the postcard, master Severus shook his head with a snort. “When will he ever get tired of this?”

“Of what? Sending us letters and little gifts? I imagine he will stop as soon as we finally decide to invite him into our home for tea,” the mistress replied, her eyes twinkling like polished gobstones. 

Her husband snorted. “I actually meant travelling the globe, breeding magical bees,  _ snorkelling _ . This is slowly getting ridiculous.”

“Is it?” mistress Hermione said, focussing back on an application letter from another family that wanted to take in a house-elf. Ever since she had founded the “House-Elf Placement Service” (HEPS, for short), she had had her hands full of work. But Fiercely knew that she would not have it any other way. “Just because he took another path than most of us expected, does not mean what he does is wrong or ridiculous. Maybe he is just sick of being stalked by Rita Skeeter, who’s trying to publish  _ another _ biography.”

“The last one sure was entertaining. I cannot blame him for rarely being in the country. He’s probably trying to avoid uncomfortable questions,” his master replied with an amused smirk. 

Fiercely saw his mistress shake her head with a gentle smile. “Maybe we should invite him, you know? It’s been four years now.”

“Why? Four years does not seem nearly enough,” master Severus scowled, but when he saw his witch’s hand gently coming to rest over her rounding belly, his gaze softened. Usually his mistress tried to hide it from everyone but her husband, but her very attentive elves had known for a while, of course. There was no hiding such an important fact as a growing family, and therefore another human to care for, from their eyes. Because it would mean more work, maybe Fiercely would even manage to convince her that another house-elf would be needed, to assure that things continued to run smoothly. 

“Ah,” his master said, putting his book aside before walking over to her. “This pregnancy is making you way too sentimental,” he said, while gently kissing her crown. “Please tell me you don’t want to name our son after him.”

At that his mistress chuckled. “What? Like Albus Severus? That would be ridiculous.”

“Indeed.”

“Don’t worry, Severus. Maybe Harry would think this a good name choice for his second son, but he always had a soft spot for the former headmaster,” the woman said, leaning her head against her husband's belly. 

He agreed with a hum. “That is putting it mildly. He seems to worship the ground that idiot is walking on, which is ridiculous considering that he had been used like a chess piece.” His master shook his head disapprovingly. “Whatever. Invite Dumbledore if you absolutely have to. Maybe you are right and these presents will finally stop. He does not seem to understand that he can not bribe me into forgiving him and by Merlin, I do not need another pair of hand-knitted potion-themed socks.”

Mistress Hermione chuckled. “I am actually quite fond of mine, even though I am not allowed to wear them in bed.” She twinkled, earning herself a dark look and a raised eyebrow. 

“You can start wearing them when you get tired of my attention,” he stated, sealing her lips with a kiss. 

His mistress chuckled. “When’s that supposed to be? In a hundred years?” she asked playfully, pushing the letter on her desk aside. That was when she suddenly became aware of his presence in the room.

“Fiercely,” she said, her eyes shining with happiness and embarrassment. “Could you ask Fawkes to wait? I am sure he is thankful for a little rest and I’ll attempt to write a letter to the old headmaster later.”

“Much later,” corrected her husband, nibbling her earlobe.

Fiercely nodded, repeating their order like the good elf he was. Then he popped away, leaving them to their privacy. He would order the other elves to avoid his mistress’ study for the following hours. It was not like they were new to their master’s and mistress’ mating rituals or like they were unwelcome to the elves. The more little Snapes that filled the house, the better it was for all of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s it. What do you think? Did you like the ending? It was way less angsty than I usually would go for. But doing it this way somehow felt right. 
> 
> I cannot believe this story is over. 95 chapters, blimey. That was not what I planned for when I started this story. Thank you for staying to the end and for each comment you left me. They mean the world to me. And who knows? Maybe one day there will be another Snamione story from me. Or maybe I could add a few outtakes to this story. Is there anything, in particular, you’d like to see?
> 
> My biggest thanks go to StephanieMRV who alphaed part of this story and Justsare, who betaed for me. Thank you for being there for me, girls!


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